


Yourself or Someone Like You

by halfempty



Series: Yourself or Someone Like You (aka Steve and Billy are In Love) [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Fix-it fic, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, abelist slurs bc it's the 80s, that gay s3 fic where Billy joins the gang!, the curse of POWER 99, there are sexual and racial slurs in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:49:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 338,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfempty/pseuds/halfempty
Summary: Maxine looked happy as they parted from Steve and walked down Main Street away from the theater. She slid into the passenger seat of Billy’s car. 'That was really fun,' she said. She looked at him like a gremlin and then smiled real cutesy. 'Did you and Steve hold hands in the popcorn?''I hope you had a real good time, I’m going to kill you in your sleep tonight,' Billy told her.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Not mine, I wish, no profit.
> 
> Hi guys! This is my first foray into the Stranger Things fandom and I’m a little nervous. I was really intrigued by the character of Billy and his relationship with his father and with Max, and I wanted more of him. Harringrove happens along the way, but this is really a story about Billy. I’m hoping for 8 or 9 long chapters and then a sequel featuring Steve buuuuut who knows with me.
> 
> Enjoy! It’s about to get real gay in here.
> 
> Some notes: There are going to be sexual slurs in this story. There are going to be racial slurs in this story. They are right here in the first chapter. Please understand that the views of characters in this story are not my own views. These slurs are awful things to say and to think and they should bother you. I have been called these slurs and they are not okay. A huge thing I want to tackle in this story is Billy’s racism. If this is not something you want to read about, please don’t.
> 
> Also, minor nitpick. I hadn’t watched the first season since it came out, and I didn’t really pay too much attention to the timestamps in season 2. My lovely friend told me that season 2 took place in 1985; I’ve since realized that it was a year early. Even so I already had a lot written and I’m keeping the story set in 1986. Not really a big deal at all but I just want to acknowledge it. I’m mostly keeping it in 1986 because there’s lots of 80s music I want to reference. I neeeeeed to have Billy staring at Steve in a diner as ‘Take Me Home Tonight’ plays.

**Yourself or Someone Like You**

by halfempty

 

**Chapter One**

 

_Welcome to where time stands still_  
_No one leaves and no one will_  
_Moon is full, never seems to change_  
_Just labeled mentally deranged_  
_Dream the same thing every night_  
_I see our freedom in my sight_  
_No locked doors, no windows barred_  
_No things to make my brain seem scarred_  
_Sleep my friend and you will see_  
_That dream is my reality_

__\- ‘Welcome Home (Sanitarium),_ ’ _ Metallica

 

****July 1986** **

****Hawkins, Indiana** **

 

July in Hawkins sucked ass; it was really no surprise. It sucked just as much as the last nine months had.

Billy hadn’t gotten up to much during his time in Hawkins. It kind of felt like there was a curse over the town or something; bad shit had been happening to him ever since the first goddamn week when Max’d gone ballistic on him and shot him full of some mystery drugs. He’d never gotten to find out what they were; it wasn’t like he was going to ask her how or why she’d gotten a hold of some powerful potent shit, hanging out with her faggot friends and Steve fucking Harrington. He couldn’t believe he’d even thought for two seconds that he could ever actually be friends with Harrington.

Billy didn’t know how to have friends, anyway. It didn’t matter. He only had two regrets, if you wanted to know about it: he regretted that he hadn’t been able to punch Harrington in his goddamn face some more. The other regret was going home at all after he’d gotten up from his little dalliance with Steve and the fag tribe back in November. He’d woken up passed out in some bushes and he guessed Harrington had hawked his fucking car for God-knows-what and then parked it all crazy in the driveway. Maxine hadn’t gotten home until the morning either; God knows what the fuck she’d been doing and they’d caught holy hell from both their parents. Susan wasn’t mean like Billy’s dad but man was she a screamer. It’d really been quite a lovely time in the Hargrove-Mayfield household. Max’d been grounded for two months until it was lifted for her stupid Snowflake Ball. Billy’d been grounded until forever, apparently. It was an ongoing process.

Getting grounded was for the birds, but there was fuck-all to do in Hawkins, anyway. His dad actually hadn’t beat the shit out of him for not bringing Max home all night and Billy didn’t really feel the need to give him a reason. He’d kept his head down for the most part and he and Max literally hadn’t spoken two words to each other until after Christmas when Billy was graced with the great chore of giving her rides again.

He joined the basketball team in January and spent a lot of afternoons after practice fucking around with Tommy Hall, who was a total piece of shit but usually had weed. Weed was the drug of choice in Hawkins; it was so sad.

In March he went and got himself a job working at a car garage. There were only two mechanics in town: Billy’d gone to both of them and had picked the one who’d had the best tools. His boss was a guy named Hank and he owned Hawkins Auto with his faggot brother who did the books. Hank was a fat fuck but he was turning out to be an all right boss; he liked what Billy could do and basically left him alone. Billy was good with cars; he understood them. His uncle’d taught him to change a tire when he was nine and he’d been learning as much shit as he could ever since. He’d turned eighteen in February so by now he knew a lot of shit.

So that’d been his nine months in Hawkins: basketball and smoking shitty weed with Tommy, working at the garage. He hadn’t even dated any girls; he hadn’t been with anybody since that whole mess with Tracey back in Riverside. He’d fucked up so bad with Tracey and he didn’t like thinking about it, how he’d acted. Maxine and her goddamn mouth. All the girls in Hawkins were sluts or stuck up bitches like Harrington’s ex Nancy Wheeler anyway; Billy didn’t need to bother with them. The only stuck up bitch he needed to bother with was Maxine. He spent a lot of time running all over the goddamn town to pick Max up when she needed a ride home from her fucking brat friends’ houses.

The kids were a goddamn mess. Billy thought Max was for shit and he couldn’t clean up after her all the time. She was still running around with that Sinclair kid and it was only by the grace of God that Billy’s dad hadn’t seen her with him yet. Billy knew Max thought he was a giant asshole about Sinclair, and he  _ _was__  a giant asshole about Sinclair, but she didn’t understand about Billy’s father. It was going on four years now and she still didn’t understand Billy’s father. She didn’t understand the rules. Billy didn’t know how she didn’t understand the rules; she had seen enough of what would happen to you if you broke them. She was definitely going to understand them if Neil ever caught her hanging out with Sinclair or making eyes at Sinclair.

It was the going into July now and Billy’d already got the holy shit kicked out of him twice by his dad since just June. School was out for the year but not for Billy; he’d failed most of his classes the second semester, skipping with Tommy Hall. He was already supposed to be a senior and he couldn’t be held back again.

It was really shaping up to be a great summer: Neil’d already screamed his head off about both Max and Billy’s report cards the week school was letting out. Susan fluttered around him in her usual way like a nervous bird, telling him it was okay and that the kids were adjusting and that Max would do better next year. When the final word had come in and Billy’d told him he’d have to either do a repeat or take summer classes Neil had gone fucking ballistic on him; it was about what Billy’d expected. Frankly he was surprised he’d even made it to the summer courses after the beating he’d got. Summer school in Hawkins cost money and they were already having trouble keeping up with the mortgage.

“You know, maybe if you hadn’t sold our goddamn house you wouldn’t have to worry about a mortgage,” Billy’d said. That’d started the ass-kicking and he’d almost welcomed it. Billy knew better than to run his mouth off to his dad but he couldn’t help it; that house in Cali had been his mom’s parents house. It was his mom’s house and she didn’t owe any money on it. His dad was a goddamn idiot for giving it up. It was his mom’s house.

“You disrespectful shit, you don’t know anything about it,” Neil said and slapped him in the face like he was a bitch. Billy’s head cracked against the wall.

“Know enough about it.”

Neil grabbed his by the collar of his jacket and shook him a little. “That’s real funny, your report card says you don’t know shit,” he said. He slammed Billy up against the basement door; Billy flopped like a fish. He was bigger than his dad now and he’d been bigger than him for a while but he always turned into a goddamn rag doll around his father.

“ _You_  don’t know shit,” Billy gritted out. He couldn’t help it. It was always easier not to talk back but his dad had had to mention the goddamn house and get Billy’s mom into his head.

Neil wailed on him for a while; Billy took it like usual. Max came out of her room halfway through with an empty drinking glass and stood in the kitchen doorway with her eyes getting bigger and bigger. She’d seen Billy’s dad smack him around before but it hadn’t really gotten bad like this since that time back in Cali. Neil saw Max watching them and he started to wail on Billy even more; it was clearly a real fun game for him. He asked Max if she understood what happened here in this house if you were disrespectful; he beat the holy shit out of Billy until Max’s face was bright red and she was screaming and screaming that she understood.

Billy’d gotten thrown down the basement steps: actually if you wanted to get technical about it he and his dad had kinda broken the door shoving each other around. Mostly Neil had done the shoving; Billy was the one who’d sailed down the steps like he was in a goddamn cartoon. He’d landed bad on his side with his arm crumpled up under him; there was a huge reverberating  _snap!_  that echoed throughout his whole body under his skin and he’d known right away that it was broke. He was pretty sure he’d given out some kind of great of manly scream; for all the shit his dad had kicked out of him over the years, he’d never broken a bone before. Max’d come rushing around past Neil (definitely not a smart thing for her to do in Billy’s opinion) and thundered down the basement steps to help him up. Billy’s old man had told him to clean himself up in a real annoyed tone, like Billy’d spilled paint on himself or something. He went out and started his car up to take Billy to the hospital.

He’d got himself back up the stairs and stood leaning against the kitchen counter and cradling his arm against his chest; Max had fluttered around him like her mother and turned the sink on and gotten him a wet rag for his face. It wasn’t a rag; it’d been Susan’s best dish towel. Billy silently apologized to her in his head. Max’d helped him wipe most of the blood off his face; she didn’t have to do that. He said thanks to her and went out to the car with his dad. Neil gave him one of his roundabout apologies like he usually did after he’d kicked the shit out of Billy. The apologies usually amounted to him saying that he didn’t understand why Billy had to go and piss him off. Billy didn’t know why either; he’d been pissing his dad off just about his whole goddamn life.

The worst part of it hadn’t been the broken arm or Maxine seeing. It hadn’t even been his dad mentioning his goddamn mom’s house. The worst part had been after the whole thing, driving back after he’d got his arm set. Billy’s dad told him that he’d pay for summer school and that Billy could owe him. He said, “You have got to do better, kid. You can’t be so irresponsible. You know what your mother would think? She’d be so damn disappointed in you; she taught you better,” and Billy had to look away from him and out the window because he knew his old man was right. His old man was always right about him.

* * *

 

So it was the fourth of July now; July 4th was a huge deal in the great patriotic town of Hawkins apparently. Billy hadn’t even had classes today and at work Hank’s faggot brother had swept in like a fairy wearing a bandana with an American flag on it; Billy was real proud of himself for not puking on him or making any shitty comments.

Hank paid him and let him go around six. When Billy got home his dad was still gone for the week on his sales calls and Max and Susan were in their little kitchen making dinner. “You want to eat with us, Billy?” Max asked him.

“Yeah, sure, I guess,” Billy said. He was kind of hungry after all. They’d gotten food at work but Hank’d looked so gross eating eighteen chicken wings and thirty goddamn hot dogs while his brother pranced and floated around the shop that Billy was pretty sure he was never gonna want any barbecued food again. “You guys need me to do something?”

Susan looked real happy with the two of them getting along and asked him if he’d put plates out; Billy went and did it. He and Max weren’t magical best friends now but they had been getting along better for the last week at least, since the second time Billy’s dad had kicked the shit out of him. He’d kicked the shit out of him because of Max and Billy’d let him do it. He guessed Maxine thought she owed him now or some shit; he didn’t mind her thinking that since she was pissing him off a whole lot less now because of it.

It wasn’t really Max’s fault but it had been because of her. It’d been last week on Friday night; Billy’d came home from work a little late. He’d smoked a joint with Tommy Hall who was in summer school with him too and he’d been pretty high once he came home. He was pretty high so even though his dad was home too he’d parked himself in front of the TV instead of going right on to his room. His dad stayed in the kitchen heating up dinner for himself, and he only came out one time to give Billy a dirty look and warn him to take his feet off of Susan’s coffee table.

Billy took his feet off of Susan’s coffee table and kept watching TV.  _Scooby-Doo_ was on TV so he felt pretty good; man he’d watched this shit with his mom all the time when she’d gotten sick the first time and had been home a lot. Billy let himself think about his mom for a little while. Shitty Hawkins weed made him real whimsical, he guessed. He was still watching cartoons and thinking about his mom when Max came home, covered in dirt like a Garbage Pail Kid with her skateboard tucked up under her arm.

Billy’s dad came back out of the kitchen and he went on the offense right away. Billy guessed he must’ve thought Maxine had been home already or something. He asked Max just where the hell she’d been and for some reason Max looked at Billy real quick. Billy was pretty sure that meant that she’d been with Sinclair and she didn’t want Billy to open his mouth; maybe she was getting a little smart if she didn’t want Billy to open his mouth.

Billy wasn’t going to open his mouth; firstly,  _Scooby-Doo_  was still on, and secondly, Billy’d be deader than a doornail if he ever let his old man know that his darling stepdaughter was running around town with a dirty nigger. All niggers were dirty niggers if you asked Billy’s dad, and you didn’t even need to be black to be called a dirty nigger, you just had to piss Billy’s dad off at the right time.

Billy kept on watching the TV as Neil crossed the room to go holler at Max some more. Max hunched against the doorframe like a scared rabbit. She was probably still pretty freaked out from seeing Billy go flying down the stairs the other week. She told Neil she had just been out with the guys and Billy knew right away it was the wrong thing for her to say. She shoulda said she was at the weird girl Ellen’s house or made up a lie or something.

Neil grabbed Max’s arm; it was probably the first real time he’d actually grabbed her since he’d married Susan. Susan wasn’t home, she was out getting groceries. Billy was pretty sure his old man felt like a real tough guy in charge of the house. “Fourteen years old and already running around with a pack of boys,” Neil said. It was the wrong thing for her to have said.

Billy wasn’t watching them. He was really trying hard not to watch them. They were standing right by the door by the TV, though, and he couldn’t help but look at them. Max screwed her face up and scowled at Billy’s dad; it was the wrong thing to do too since he already had her arm. “They’re just my friends!” she said.

“Oh, yeah, they’re your friends, yeah,” Neil said. He still had ahold of Max’s shoulder and he pushed her up against the wall, real hard. “I’m sure they’re your friends. I’m sure they loved keepin’ you out past nine o’clock doing god knows what to you.”

Max stared past him and didn’t say anything; she must have been learning from Billy after all. Her hair had come out of her ponytail when Neil had shook her and it was splayed all around her face, falling over one eye. It did something to Billy; he didn’t know what but it did something. He and Max weren’t related and she wasn’t his sister but people always said they kinda looked alike anyhow. It was weird. Max had red hair like his mom and like him. She looked kinda like his mom or something right then, her face turned away and blank and Neil’s goddamn arm around her goddamn shoulder. It just did something to Billy. He said, “Dad, come on.” He sat up on the couch.

“Stay out of this, Bill,” Neil told him. Then he pushed Max into the wall again. Her head lolled and she looked even more like Billy’s fucking mom.

“ _Dad _,__ ” said Billy.

Neil looked back at him over his shoulder and his face was filled with fury; Billy could never get over the fact that his father could just  _look_  at him and get pissed the fuck off. He turned back to Max. “Actually,” he said, and he was real happy to say it, “let me use my goddamn faggot of a son as an example. Do you know what happens to little girls when they hang out with boys after dark? Do you  _remember_ what Billy did?”

Billy didn’t really understand how he could be a goddamn faggot and at the same time still be a poster boy for warning off girls in the night. He  _wasn’t_  a faggot; he _wasn’t_  a goddamn queer like his dad said, but there was something wrong with him anyway and his dad had always known it. He’d always known it and he knew just what to say to dig at it, to pick at what was wrong in Billy. He was gonna open it up like an old sore that’d crack and bleed everywhere. Billy wasn’t gonna let him open it tonight, he was not fucking going to open it. Anyway he was pretty sure Max remembered what he’d did. She’d told on him.

“I remember,” Max said. She was still looking past Neil and her eyes were locked on Billy’s now. Fuck if she didn’t look just like his mom.

Neil grabbed her face so she’d look at him and not at Billy; that was a reminder too. “Do you want something like that to happen to  _ _you?__ ” he asked her. He was being real rough and Billy couldn’t take it. He’d been taking it. Billy didn’t care about Max but he’d seen Neil grab his mom like that his whole life. Max looked so much like his mom right then; her whole face fit in Neil’s hand. It was probably because he was high but Billy thought it was gonna break her and it made him real scared real fast. He got up off the couch and shoved at his dad. It was probably the first time he’d shoved his dad back in years and years.

“Jesus, get the fuck off her!” he said. It was the first time he’d told his dad what to do in years and years, too. “Look, she was at the library, okay, I forgot to go and get her. She’s fucking covering for me, leave her the fuck alone.”

Neil was always ready to kick the shit out of him but he took pause at this new information. Now he actually looked overjoyed at the prospect of beating the shit out of Billy some more. “Is this true, Maxine? Were you lying for your brother?”

Max looked back and forth between them; she had red marks on her cheeks where Neil had grabbed her face. Billy remembered those marks too.

She was deciding what to do. Billy shook his head at her; if his dad found out he was lying for her it’d be worse for both of them. Max decided. “I … didn’t want to get him in trouble again,” she said slowly.

Billy’s dad’s face cracked in glee; he looked like a goddamn maniac. He’d already lost his temper on Maxine but Susan wasn’t gonna yell at him for wailing on Billy. He whirled around and punched Billy in the stomach; Billy hadn’t been expecting it and double over right away. Neil grabbed him by his hair and threw him into the wall. “Your sister’s fourteen and you’re letting her walk home at night?” he cried in almost euphoric glee; Max had really gotten him into a mood. “What did we  _just_  talk about?”

Billy didn’t answer so Neil kicked him in the stomach right where he’d hit him; he was real good at calculating what would hurt the most. “Being irresponsible,” Billy gritted out.

Neil kicked him again. “And what can’t we do in this house?”

Billy’d already resigned himself to the ass-kicking but he didn’t want his arm to get more fucked up. He curled in around himself. “Can’t be irresponsible.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Can’t be irresponsible,  _sir._ ”

Billy’s dad straightened up and looked at Max. “I really hate to do this to you,” he said to her. “I really hate to show this to you again. I thought you understood last week. I really did. Do you understand yet how things work in this house?” He kicked Billy again.

“I UNDERSTAND!” Max screamed; she was real good at going from zero to hysteria in two seconds. “I UNDERSTAND, DON’T HURT HIM.” She was real worked up over him; Billy remembered he’d been kind of touched by it after he’d stopped seeing stars. Billy’s dad kicked the shit out of him for a couple minutes; it actually wasn’t as long as usual. Probably he was tired from acting like such a nice guy at work all week. After a couple of minutes he got sick of it and left Billy in a crumpled heap on the floor. He told Max to go and clean herself the fuck up and went off to go and eat his dinner.

Max’d helped Billy up for the second time in a goddamn week. Her eyes were big and crazy and scared; she looked just like his goddamn mom helping him up when he’d been a kid. “He’s crazy,” she whispered.

“You just now learning this?” Billy asked her. His mouth was bleeding again and he didn’t know why. He guessed he’d hit it on the wall or some shit.

“Thanks for doing that for me.” Max was staring and staring at him with her eyes all wide; it made Billy feel weird. He didn’t like it when people looked at him too long, really looked at him. They’d know everything, not just what he wanted them to see.

“Didn’t do it for you,” Billy said, which made no sense anyway. He stormed past her as best he could and went to his room; he was still kinda hunched over so it wasn’t his greatest exit.

That’d been last week though and Max had been real nice to him ever since. She’d even made brownies the other day and left him three instead of taking all of them to her faggot friends; they’d been the end pieces which were the best ones. She was clearly trying to appeal to Billy’s softer side even if he didn’t know why they hell she’d want to.

Max and Susan and Billy all ate dinner together; it was always better when Neil wasn’t there. Susan even cooked better when Neil wasn’t there, in Billy’s personal opinion. Neil and Susan’d moved out here to work on their marriage; it wasn’t the real reason why but it was part of it, and the small town wasn’t doing them any good. Anyway Neil wasn’t home right now and no one mentioned him. “What are you kids doing tonight, you going to see the fireworks at the baseball field?” Susan asked them.

Max and Billy both rolled their eyes at each other. They weren’t kids, and fireworks were for lame babies. Either way it was still only Wednesday night and there wasn’t shit else to do. Susan smiled at them rolling their eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” Max said. She was looking at Billy out of the corner of her eyes which meant she wanted a ride somewhere.

“Take ya to see ‘em if you want,” Billy said. She hadn’t been an asshole to him all week so he could return the favor. Anyway he didn’t want to sit at home tonight; probably Tommy Hall would be there and maybe Billy’d finally find someone who had some goddamn coke in this town.

Max beamed at him; it made him feel weird. “Okay, thanks!” she said. They finished eating dinner and then Max and Billy brought their dishes into the kitchen and helped Susan clean up. Max washed the dishes and Billy dried them and handed them to Susan who put them away.

Susan was frowning like a mom. She wasn’t  _Billy’s_  mom, mind you, and she was a dumb bitch but she wasn’t a cunt. She was all right. “I just don’t understand what could have happened to my good dish towel,” she said. Max made a great face and caught Billy’s eye; Billy almost fucking laughed. He was pretty sure Susan’s good dish towel was still somewhere on the floor of Hawkins General. It was pretty fucked up that they were laughing about Billy’s dad beating the shit out of him but maybe it was better than not laughing.

He and Max watched MTV for a while; they both thought that new AD/DC song ‘Who Made Who’ was pretty bitchin’. It was gonna start getting dark soon so eventually they stopped fucking around and got into Billy’s car. They drove to the baseball field; Billy was pretty sure everyone in the damn town was here. “Meet me back at ten and don’t be late,” he told Max.

“Okay, sure,” Max said. She was already scanning the crowd and not paying attention to him; Billy was still pretty sure he was for shit to her compared to Sinclair and the rest of the brat pack no matter how many beatings he’d take for her.

Billy smoked his cigarettes and wandered around until he found a couple of kids from school. Tommy Hall was fucking around with a couple of juniors in Billy’s year; still no one had any coke and Billy silently lamented his entire existence. Billy drank a beer and smoked a joint with Carol and Tommy. They were always good for beers and smokes but they were literally the dumbest people on the planet; put them together and they had maybe a combined three brain cells. Billy was glad they were graduating and he wouldn’t have to see them again.

“Did you see Harrington and his group of faggots earlier?” Tommy asked Carol. She laughed like he’d said something hilarious.

Billy wished that Tommy wouldn’t talk about Harrington all the time. He kind of already thought about Harrington too much anyway and he didn’t need anybody else mentioning him. He’d mostly gotten over it but it was hard not to think of the guy who’d kicked off his bad luck in Hawkins. He’d noticed Harrington right away and he didn’t know why. It was that part of him that was fucked up inside; he’d wanted Harrington to notice him and he hadn’t. He was used to that shit too.

Tommy and Carol split the rest of their joint and laughed and talked shit on Harrington for a while; Billy drank the rest of their beers and didn’t talk much. After January had came around gym classes had switched; Billy wasn’t a senior like the rest of them so he really hadn’t even seen Steve around much. He’d seen him just a couple of times since then when he’d been driving Max around somewhere. Harrington was usually with the most annoying of Max’s brat pack, that kid Henderson, and he always looked like he was having a grand old time at the arcade with a bunch of middle schoolers. He was so goddamn queer and Billy didn’t get him. He shouldn’t be thinking about him at all.

The fireworks were pretty nice or whatever and they lasted a long time; over an hour. Tommy and Carol stared at them with their mouths open and Billy cracked himself up, thinking about them catching flies in their mouths. Maybe Tommy’d choke on one and he wouldn’t be able to cry over Harrington anymore. Billy was a little high again so it was real funny to him. With his last dying breath Tommy’d wheeze out that Steve was a faggot. Then the fly would come out and go on its way.

Billy left without saying goodbye to them once the festivities died down; it was definitely after ten and Max wasn’t waiting at his car like she’d said. Neil wouldn’t be home so Billy didn’t need to worry about him flipping his shit again, but the baseball stadium was kind of far from their house and Max didn’t have her board. He decided he’d give himself ten minutes to look for her and if he couldn’t find her she was fucked.

He walked back through the groups of people exiting the baseball field and checked the bleachers again for Max. Really he was looking for any of the brat pack; find one and you found them all, usually.

He spotted the little faggy Byers kid walking with a soda; he was not with his equally faggy brother who’d stolen Harrington’s girlfriend so he was probably hanging with Max and the Garbage Pail Kids. Billy could have said hey but he didn’t; he just started following the kid. The kid was drinking his soda and singing ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go’ by The Clash; they were all right. He followed Byers across the baseball field and past an empty lot and then into the woods on the other side of Main Street.

The whole brat pack was there and they were having a campfire; it looked like a real sweet old time. Max was sitting next to Sinclair and annoying ass Henderson was there too and so was Wheeler Jr and his sister Nancy and Steve Harrington, of course. Billy wondered if they’d gotten back together. That girl Eileen or Ellen was there too; she was real small and always got lost in a crowd, even if it was just a couple of people. He’d seen her a couple of times when he’d been dropping Maxine off somewhere. She was sitting by Wheeler Jr and everyone was laughing. They had their little campfire going and there were a bunch of sparklers, those cheap little fireworks sticks you could buy for a dime, floating around in the air by the fire, flickering pink and blue and purple.

“WHAT THE FUCK,” Billy said. Clearly he was higher than he thought.

The sparklers instantly fell to the ground and everyone immediately started screaming; the brat pack was real good at that, Billy’d learned over the last couple of months. “Billy!” Max yelled. She looked all surprised like she hadn’t been meant to meet him twenty minutes ago. “What are you doing here?”

Henderson was yelling his fat head off and Sinclair was looking scared of Billy like usual. It brought Billy such joy. Wheeler Jr grabbed at that Ellen girl like she was pet or something and glared at Billy. “What are  _ _you__  doing here?”

“Picking up my fucking sister,” Billy told him. He definitely was pretty high; he hadn’t even said  _ _stepsister__. “What the hell are you doing here? What the __hell__ was that?”

“NOTHING!” everyone yelled like crazy people; Billy guessed they didn’t want him to know they were all fucking magicians or some shit. Sinclair grabbed Max’s hand. He was being real brave. He said to her, “You’ve got to get him out of here!”

“Sinclair, you got something to say to me?” Billy asked him. Sinclair stared at him like a deer in a pair of headlights. Harrington was staring at him too; he had his arm around Nancy Wheeler’s shoulder all protective.

Max was standing up and letting go of Sinclair’s hand. Billy could hear his dad instantly howling in rage about the goddamn niggers far away in whatever fuckin’ state he was in. “It’s fine,” Max was saying to Sinclair and the guys; Henderson was still yelling his head off. “Shut up, oh my god, I didn’t think he’d come looking for me!” She turned to Billy and started stalking past him. Billy didn’t move right away. He was still staring down Sinclair, so Max wound around and grabbed his hand, the bad one with the cast on it. “Come  _on _,__  let’s go.”

Billy let her drag him off. He didn’t feel like fighting seven people (eight if you count Max; and three of them were girls and you couldn’t hit girls); he didn’t want Harrington or Max or whoever it’d been to shoot him full of those mystery drugs again. Actually he did want the mystery drugs but he still had to drive Max and himself home. He let Max drag him out of the woods and then he shook his hand out of hers. “The fuck was that, what the fuck was going on?”

“What are you talking about?” Max asked in her hysterical high voice; Billy had a deep sense of foreboding that she was gonna start a whole new round of womanly screaming very soon.

“Those fucking – lights or whatever,” Billy said anyway. “How’d you guys do that?”

Max rounded on him and her eyes flashed like fire in the streetlights. “Nothing, we didn’t, you can’t say anything!” she said.

“What the fuck,” Billy said. He said again, “How’d you do it?”

“It was just a trick.” Max was stomping ahead of him towards the parking lot. “You seriously can’t say anything.”

Billy rolled his eyes after her; no matter what it’d been it, wasn’t that cool. “Who the fuck would I say it to?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Max had reached his car and her eyes were spitting fire again; so much for her goodwill towards him or whatever the fuck it was lasting. “You _said_ you’d leave my friends alone!”

“Jesus Christ, Max, chill your fucking roll,” Billy said. “I could seriously care less about what you faggots do, take a breath.”

He and Max got into the car and she kept staring at him. She stared at him as he started the Camaro up and kept staring at him all the way down Main Street and after they’d turned onto Broad. “I’m serious, Billy,” she said. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Do you not hear me?” Billy asked her. “I. Could. Care. Less.”

Max slammed herself back into the seat and scowled over the dashboard. “Fine,” she said.

“Fine,” Billy mimicked her; she scowled again. Billy drove them home.

* * *

 A couple of day went by and Max was still acting weird as shit. She spent all the next day whispering on her phone and whispering on her damn walkie talkie that Sinclair had given her and making weird eyes at Billy. Billy went to class and to work and ignored her mostly. After a couple of days she calmed down and started acting real nicey nice to him again. Billy almost forgot about the incident. If it had even been an incident really; he’d been real fucking high off shitty Hawkins weed. Maybe he was just imagining things and the kids had just been being their damn weird selves.

Billy finally gave in and bought a new battery for his car; it’d been having problems for a while but he’d been putting it off since he was giving most of his checks to his dad. Everyone in Hawkins thought he had a real great car but that was only because he’d fixed it up with his uncle. Billy loved his car but she was a real piece of work; she was ten years old now and he’d changed most of the paneling and her doors himself. He took the Camaro to the garage and he and Hank had to change some wires in her so he left her there overnight. He felt real mournful walking home without her. She was his only girl here in Hawkins.

In the morning he walked himself to his summer class – it took fucking forever and he felt like he was on  _Little House on the Prairie_  or some shit; Susan was always killing him and Max watching it and talking about Michael Landon – and then when class was over he started walking himself down to the garage. Once he got to Broad Street, Steve Harrington drove by in his fucking BMW and stared at him. Then he turned around back on the street and started following him in his car.

“Hey man,” he said. He had his stupid plastic sunglasses on and a collared shirt and tie and just looking at him made Billy feel pissed off. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“I gotta get to work,” Billy said.

Harrington kept driving next to him all slow. “Just for a second.” Billy kept walking and Steve kept driving next to him.

Billy counted to ten in his head, two times so he wouldn’t start wailing and beating on Harrington’s car with his cast. He turned and jumped in front of Harrington’s car and Harrington screeched on his brakes. He looked all startled even though he’d been going like four miles an hour. Billy came around to the passenger side and wrenched the door open. “Whatdya want?”

Harrington stared at him; his expression was unreadable with his stupid glasses. “I want to talk to you,” he said again. “Just get in.”

Billy eyed him for a moment. Harrington just kept staring at him. After another minute Billy got in the car. “I don’t really think you and me have got anything to talk about.”

“It’ll just take a minute,” Harrington said. He put his car back into drive. He said, “Look, about what you saw the other night – “

“What, you and your little pedo ring?”

“Jesus!” Harrington made a great face at him. “No, you asshole! God. Why do you have to be such a piece of shit all the time?”

Billy counted to ten again in his head; he literally hadn’t said shit to Harrington in eight months. “Well, it’s what I do best,” he said.

Steve looked annoyed; his mouth turned down like he was smelling dog shit. Cow shit, really, since they were out in bumfuck nowhere. It was a great look for him. “Look,” he said. “I really don’t want to waste my lunch hour talking to you. I just need to make sure you’re not going to tell anyone what you saw.”

“Did I see somethin’?” Billy asked him, real sweet.

“Jesus,” Harrington said. “Look, Max told me that you guys were cool now. She said you’ve always been a fucking asshole, but you weren’t always so damn angry all the time. She said you weren’t going to run your mouth and I need to know that you’re cool.”

Billy didn’t answer him for a moment. He felt kind of pissed off that Max had been telling Harrington shit about him, that he was always an asshole. He wasn’t always an asshole. It’s not like he and Max had ever been real close but they’d known each other for going on four years now; shit hadn’t really gotten bad with them until all that bullshit had happened back in Riverside and Max had squealed on him for what he’d done to Tracey. Billy’d used to take Max out places; he’d watched her for a fucking week when their parents had gone off on their honeymoon. He’d even let her drive his goddamn Camaro in a parking lot, not too long after he’d bought the car when he was sixteen. “What else did my lovely sister tell you about me?”

Harrington just stared at him steadily. “She told me you took the fall for her with your dad the other week,” he said. He stared at Billy some more; he was looking at all of him and it made Billy feel weird as shit. “She told me you were looking out for her. Your dad break your arm while he was beating on you?”

Billy was going to kill Max; he was going to do it slow; he was gonna get real creative with it. He couldn’t believe Max’d told Steve Harrington that his dad had busted his arm. “The fuck he did,” Billy scoffed. “She’s a goddamn liar, I broke it fucking around at work.”

Steve didn’t say anything; he was staring at Billy all unreadable again with his fucking sunglasses. “ _ _What?__ ” Billy said.

“Nothing!” Steve said; he sounded weird. “Look, I just – okay, the kids wouldn’t leave me alone until I talked to you about El. I need you to tell me you’re not going to tell anyone what you saw El do.”

“What the fuck am I gonna say, and to who?” Billy demanded. “What, I’m gonna tell my boss I saw a little kid do a goddamn magic trick?”

They were stopped at the red light to turn onto Main and Steve took off his stupid sunglasses finally and looked at him; he looked real serious. “Anyone, anything,” he said. “Anyone weird who asks you about El.”

Billy stared back at him. “You know, I wouldn’t even fucking know it was Ellen ‘til you just ran your goddamn mouth off.”

Steve’s mouth went slack. “Oh,” he said. “Well. Shit. Shit, you didn’t know it was her?”

Jesus, Harrington might actually be as stupid as Tommy Hall. No wonder they’d palled around for years before Harrington’d decided to go queer off with a bunch of fourteen-year-olds. “Max didn’t say _shit_ about her,” he told Steve. “That’s all you, man.”

“Shit!” Steve said. “Okay, well look, you definitely can’t say anything about her. All right?”

“Whatever,” said Billy. He really didn’t give a goddamn about that weird little girl; the only way he’d ever care about her was if she brought him some fucking coke or something, then he’d give her a goddamn hug and a cookie and braid her fucking hair. “What’s her deal, anyway?”

“Shit if I know,” Harrington said. “I don’t … really know too much about it. You saw her. She can, like.” He paused and stared at Billy all crazy. “Move shit with her mind.”

“Okay,” Billy said. Maybe Harrington was the one in town with the whole stash of coke; he was obviously off his rocker and there was nothing no one could do to help him. It was really a damn shame. “That’s real cute, that is some cute  _ _Outer Limits__  shit. Are you done fucking with me, can I go now?”

“I’m not fucking with you!” Steve said. “You think I give a shit about you? I don’t.”

“I don’t give a shit about you either.”

“Great!”

“Fine!” Billy said.

Someone honked behind them; Harrington made a real cute annoyed sound and floored it. They roared down Main Street and Harrington slammed his brakes on in front of the auto shop. Then he turned and stared at Billy again. “Look, man, I don’t give a shit what you do, beat my ass again, just fucking say you’re not gonna say shit and I’ll leave you alone.”

Billy reached out and grabbed Harrington’s face with his bad arm; Harrington hissed away from him but Billy had him good. He leaned over and slammed Harrington’s head back against his seat. It hurt his arm but it felt so good too. “Not gonna beat your ass again,” he said. “Your face is too goddamn pretty to be worth it, I am so glad I didn’t leave any scars.”

Harrington stared at him; his face was filled with rage. “You’re an asshole,” he spit out.

Billy smiled at him again; he squeezed Steve’s face. It hurt his fingers real bad. “I told you, Harrington, it’s what I’m best at,” he said. “I won’t say shit about that girl. Now tell me you’re not doing anything fucked up to my sister.”

“Jesus, I’m not doing anything to her!” Harrington said. He looked really appalled. “She’s a kid, are you crazy?”

“The fuck am I supposed to think?” Billy spit out. He slammed Steve’s head back against the seat again. He didn’t care about Harrington but the whole situation with him was fucked; he still didn’t know why the hell Steve had been out with his kid stepsister all night after they’d only been in town for a week. He was about to ask Steve where the hell he’d got the drugs that Max had shot him up with but then Steve did grab his arm. He managed to twist his face away from Billy’s grip.

“It’s not like that,” Steve said. “She’s a kid! You know she’s with Sinclair, right?”

“Sinclair’s for shit.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know all about what you think about Lucas.”

“You don’t know shit about what I think.”

Steve seemed to realize he was still holding onto Billy’s cast; Billy hadn’t realized it either. Steve dropped his hands. “Just get out of my fucking car.”

“Fuck you,” Billy said. He got out of the car. Steve didn’t drive away so Billy leaned over the window again. “Thanks for the ride, pretty boy.”

Steve just stared at him. “I’ll be watching you,” he said. He drove off all crazy like he was in  _ _Knight Rider__.

Billy went into the shop and he and Hank fixed his car; he was real pissed off and after a couple minutes Hank got the message and stopped with his chatty bullshit. By the time they finished for the day it was getting dark. Billy thanked Hank for the work on his car and he went off and drove around looking for Max. He spotted her in one of the big windows of the arcade and laid on his horn until she looked up and saw him. Her face fell right away and that made him feel even more pissed off.

Max ran outside and came across the parking lot to his car. “What do you want?” she asked him. “I don’t have to be home til nine.”

“You and me gotta have a little talk,” Billy told her. Max rolled her eyes at him like a sullen princess and slumped against his door.

“What now, what’d I do now?”

“What the fuck did you say about me to Steve Harrington?”

Max wrinkled her nose up and bounced off herself up off his door. She leaned over into his window and looked at him. “I didn’t say anything to Steve about you!” she said.

“Like shit you didn’t. You tell him my dad broke my arm?”

“ _What?_ ” Max said. She looked taken aback and her eyes got big. “No! No, Billy, Jesus, I wouldn’t tell anyone that.”

Billy counted to ten in his head. “Okay, so why’s he know about it?”

“Ummm,” Max said. She chewed on her lip; that was her guilty face. “Okaaaay, well, he did ask me about you. It was awhile ago! It was a couple days ago. Mike and Dustin were bugging me and I promised them you weren’t going to say anything! I told them you were cool now and Steve asked me about your arm. I said you broke it falling down the basement; I didn’t say anything about Neil!”

“FUCK!” said Billy. Shit. Fuck. Harrington’d played him; now he probably really did know about Billy’s old man. He didn’t know why it mattered but Steve probably knew.

“Why?” Max was leaning into the car all interested; she smelled like cheese fries. “What did he say? Did he talk to you or something? We all yelled at him not to for like two hours.”

Great, cute, Harrington was real cute, so fucking cute. “Yeah he fucking talked to me,” Billy said. “He told me all about your magician friend Ellen, she do any more tricks for you?”

Max looked at him like he was an insane person, which he was not. He was clearly the only sane person in Hawkins. “You mean El?” she asked finally. “No, she – _you can’t_ – “ Four words in and she’d already cranked her womenly hysteria up to an eight; she was pretty impressive.

“Oh my fucking god, I’m not going to say shit,” Billy moaned. “Okay, you know what, just – just go back inside, I’m tired of looking at your freckled face.”

“Really? You’re not going to make me go home?”

“I don’t care if you’re home,” Billy told her.

“Okay, fine.” Max straightened up and then looked at him all hesitant with her hands in her dumb green jacket. “You promise you won’t say anything about El?”

“I won’t say anything about El,” Billy repeated.

“Okay.” Max kept on looking at him and fiddling around in her jacket pockets. “So ... do you want to come in and hang out with us or something?”

Yep, he was the only sane person in Hawkins. “No, I don’t want to hang out with your faggot friends! Just fucking use the phone there and call me when you want me to get you, okay?”

“Okay.” Max just stood there looking at him; she didn’t even yell her head off about him calling her friends faggots like usual. She just kept on looking at him so Billy turned his car back on. He put it in drive and went home. No one was there at home so he laid on the couch for a while watching MTV and he thought about how much he hated Steve Harrington’s stupid, smug fucking face. He thought about his face for a long time.

* * *

 

A couple of weeks went by; Harrington really was being a huge homo freak and watching him all the time. For eight months Billy’d had nothing to do with him and now he saw Harrington everywhere he went. It was the curse of Hawkins coming back to haunt him, he was sure of it.

He came by the shop at least twice a week while Billy was in there and drove by looking at him. He came into the grocery store when Billy was there with Max and Susan and stood there staring at him (“Hey Steve!” Max said. Steve looked all shocked that she’d seen him, like he hadn’t been looming over the vegetable section all inept like Inspector Gadget. “Uh,” he said. “Hey Max.” He picked up a tomato and stared at it like it held the answers to the universe). Max and Billy played basketball out in their yard and Harrington drove by all slow with his faggy sunglasses and stared at them (“Hey Steve!” Max said. “Shit!” Steve said and popped his collar up and sank down in his seat. “Hey Max!”).

Friday night in Hawkins rolled around and left Billy with fuck-all to do as usual. It was getting towards the end of August now and he and Max had spent most of the week fucking around the house; doing their summer work for school and bitching about it at each other. He’d dropped Max off at the movie theater at noon and then drove down the main drag to the garage. He didn’t really have set hours during the week, especially in summer. If he needed him, Hank called him. Even so he came in most days anyway; Hank usually needed him. People in Hawkins were amazingly shit at taking care of their cars, it was great. Billy swore they got more business than out in Riverside; Hank didn’t believe him.

He went in and said hey to Hank. Hank was sitting at the service counter and eating something like usual. They fucked around with the radio for a long time (Billy felt like they were always fucking around with the radio for a long time; reception was for shit in the garage) and Hank showed him the orders from the morning. Hank shot the shit and made small talk while Billy looked through the orders. He could already tell Hank wasn’t going to let him do some of them on account of the arm. He guessed he was pretty lucky Hank hadn’t fired him or some shit.

Hank kept on talking. He talked a lot, Jesus could he talk a lot, but he never really got pissed off about anything, except for when he talked about football. Billy could understand. “Bad season for the Angels,” Hank said, shaking his head.

“You’re telling me, my old man’s one foul away from a goddamn coronary,” Billy said. Hank laughed.

He worked all day on the simple shit Hank was letting him do and then put in a couple extra hours, organizing all the junk in the back. It was an okay day; no one came in acting all clueless to piss him off. Hank had way more tools than Billy’d realized. They were all in disarray and it was a damn shame. Billy’d kill for that wrench set, he told Hank for the third or fourth time. He drove out to the next town over to pick up parts for the Pontiac that’d came in yesterday after he’d left; it was a gorgeous car. Mrs. Mercer came in at five to pick up her husband’s pickup and Billy leaned on the counter and turned on the charm; Hank laughed his ass off at him and went off to go fuck around in the back. Mrs. Mercer left giggling and blushing with her car keys. Married women were so damn fun.

Hank went across the street and bought him a sandwich from the general store; Billy told him thanks. He didn’t have to do that. Billy changed the tire on a Pinto while Hank ate more goddamn food and shook his head at him.

“You’re gonna rebreak your arm on that old jack, kid,” Hank said.

“I’m good.” Hank was still a fat fuck but he was nicer than Billy’s old man, not that that was a hard line to cross.

After a while longer Hank hung up his coveralls and keys at the door. He snapped his fingers along to the song ending on the radio; he’d been torturing Billy all goddamn day and playing POWER 99. “Don’t stay too late, Bill, it ain’t worth it,” he said. “We don’t do pick-ups on the weekend, ‘member?”

“Yeah, I know.” Billy was under the engine of a Chevy, dripping old oil into the filter pan. It wasn’t late at all, only past eight.

“Have a good night, kid. Have a night, anyway.” It was the first time Hank’d left him to stay late in the shop alone; Billy guessed he trusted him now or some shit.

Billy finished changing the Impala’s oil – he estimated the last time it’d been stripped had been right around ‘79, the year the car’d been made. He turned the radio up in the garage (he turned off fuckin’ POWER 99) and put the new windshield on the Acura waiting in the back. It only took him a couple minutes and Hank paid him by the job. Even so he was right and there was no point in staying all night when they didn’t do pickups on the weekend. Billy marked down what he’d done and hung his keys up too. He checked the keys twice and tidied up the front; there was no use in leaving shit a mess even though he’d probably be back before Hank. He was a decent boss, not like the piece of shit Billy’d worked with back in Cali, and this was a good job. He got into his Camaro and drove home.

The one saving grace of living in a middle-of-nowhere shithole town was that it meant his father had to travel further and further to do his sales calls. He’d been out on the road since Tuesday; even though he was probably done now Billy and Max’d figured he shouldn’t be home until at least Sunday morning. He’d been out for most of the summer really and only came home for a couple of days at the start of the week to scream his head off at everyone. Susan was off staying at her sister’s again a couple of towns over.

Back in Riverside Billy would’ve had a party and bribed Max with a Sade tape or a fuckin’ Madonna tape to keep her mouth shut. Here in Hawkins there wasn’t much point to it.

The house was all dark when he got home aside from a light on in Max’s room; Billy didn’t feel like messing with her. He sat on his bed and felt like a goddamn loser for a while; he could hear Max in her room, singing and playing her record player. She was probably reading her stupid comics that her dork friends had gotten her into.

He thought about stealing a beer from the fridge but decided against it. He wasn’t above drinking alone but he didn’t need Max squawking on him, not over his dad’s Miller Lite. He flexed his fingers and looked at the cast on his left arm; he had two weeks left to go and then he could start doing more shit around the shop again. He worked out for a while, the best he could with the stupid cast on anyway, then he got his shit out from under his bed and worked on his summer school work too like a fucking loser. He was still ignoring the math parts; summer reading was  _This Side of Paradise_ and he’d read that shit back in 10th grade in Cali. They were slow learners here in Hawkins. Not that that said shit for him, really, since here he was reading it again.

The shitty pop music in Max’s room came to an abrupt stop. Billy heard her yelping everywhere and then the door slammed a couple of times. Suddenly he could hear two voices out in the hallway; Max wasn’t alone like he’d thought. He knew right away it was Sinclair – it was always fucking Sinclair. Max was a goddamn idiot and she was playing with fire. She still didn’t understand the rules; she still didn’t understand Billy’s father.

Billy looked at the clock on his dresser; it was past ten now. Past ten and Max had goddamn Sinclair in the goddamn house. Billy counted to ten to calm himself down. He wasn’t her babysitter. He wasn’t supposed to watch her every moment, and if it was anyone else it’d be fine. Not fine but okay; Neil wasn’t home. Even so he could practically feel his father’s rage from across state lines or wherever the fuck he was. He’d literally  _kill_ Billy if he knew he’d let Max hang around with the negro in his house, doing god knows what at past ten on a Friday night. He’d kill Billy _and_ Max  _and_ Sinclair and then drive their corpses around town to show what happens when you break the rules. He’d probably kill Linda too just for the hell of it.

He counted to ten again. He was trying, he was really trying. Max’d already shown that, time and time again, she wasn’t going to respond to him screaming his goddamn head off or threatening Sinclair. He wasn’t going to shake her goddamn arm off like his dad would, either. You couldn’t do that to girls, to women. He’d already lost his temper a couple of times and he felt like shit about it; he didn’t want to be like his old man. He counted to ten again, two more times. He looked at his book. He didn’t even care; he shouldn’t care.

Then suddenly his door was being thrown open and Max was storming in before Billy’d even figured out what he was going to do about her. Sinclair trailed after her like a neutered puppy. Billy had to hand it to her; Max had him pretty whipped.

“Billy!” Max said. “I need you to give us a ride somewhere!”

Billy didn’t look up from his book. He was still counting in his head. “I ain’t a cab service,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Please!” Max said. Half-yelled, really. “Come on, I’ll give you money!”

Billy slowly looked up from his book to gaze at her. Max faltered; it was almost funny. “I’ll – I’ll owe you, okay? Please!”

“You do realize you’re in the danger zone here,” Billy said. Max had thrown herself further across the threshold of the door and was standing all the way in his goddamn room now, not even looking like she feared for her life. She was standing on his jean jacket, crumpled on the floor. He looked back and forth between her and Sinclair, standing half in the room with his gaze rooted on the floor. “Fuck, Max. You are seriously, seriously asking for it. What exactly do you think you’re doing, running around with this – ”

“Oh my fucking god Billy, this is serious shit!” Max literally screamed like an insane person. “WE HAVE TO GO NOW! CAN YOU NOT BE A DICK FOR FIVE MINUTES AND GIVE US A RIDE OR NOT?”

“Fucking shit, Maxine! Do _not_ fucking scream at me!” Billy exploded back. He sat up on his bed and stared at her until she held his gaze. She looked really freaked out; her eyes were huge in her pale freckled face. It made him feel weird. Kinda scared almost. He never knew what the kid was up to these days, who she was hanging around with. “Okay, all right. You need to tell me why this is  _serious shit_ if you think I’m gonna take you anywhere. What the  _fuck_  is going on?”

Max hesitated; her eyes roved all around the room. Sinclair put his hand on her arm. Billy stared at him like murder but he didn’t move his hand. “I … I can’t tell you,” she said finally.

“All right then.” Bill flopped back on his back and reached for his book again, real slow. “Well, I can’t help you. Sorry.”

“PLEASE!” Max started screaming her head off like an insane person again. Her face had turned red and she was getting tears in her eyes and shit too; Billy was very nearly affected. Fucking women.

Max kept screaming and enunciating her words all weird, same as Linda when she got worked up. She was really going. “THERE’S PEOPLE and we CAN’T FIND El! We have to get the SHERIFF! Dustin said that STEVE said there’s these men following – “

Billy stopped reaching for his book. “Okay, you freaks got Harrington into more of your shit again?”

“They were all at Mike’s house, it’s D&D night,” Sinclair explained.

“Oh, my god, Sinclair,” Billy said in thrall, “ _please_  tell me Harrington is playing D&D with you faggots every Friday night.” Sinclair shot him a massively impatient look. Billy managed to contain himself. “All right, all right, and you two are dicking around here because … ?”

Max’s eyes stopped roaming around and her gaze dropped to her sneakers. She didn’t say anything for a moment and then when she did her voice got quiet; she was all hoarse from her hysterical womanly screaming. “El still, El still doesn’t really like me. It’s Mike’s house and they’re, they’re like a thing, so...” She looked like a hurt animal.

Fucking Wheelers. “All right,” Billy said. “Look, you seriously gotta give me something to go on here, kid. Like, what fuckin’ men are you talking about? Is this like police shit? Drugs or something?”

Max and Sinclair did double takes and stared at him like he was the crazy person and not them, bursting into his room at ten at night screaming their heads off. “NO!” they said. Sinclair thought about it; he made a great face. “Well...” he said. Then he said, “No. No no. It’s not drugs. It’s … it’s … there’s these bad people looking for El. We need to be together. We have to find them. We always stick together.”

“That is really just the sweetest thing. You’re really swaying me here, Sinclair. You got me feeling real emotions.” Billy wiped away a couple of fake tears. Max looked super annoyed so Billy took his time and wiped away a few more. She was so goddamn easy.

Max turned to Sinclair and grabbed his hand. They gazed all deep into each other’s eyes. “Forget him,” Max said. “He’s not going to take us. I knew he wouldn’t. We can just, we’ll just go – “

“Oh my fucking god, I’ll take you!” Billy snapped. He thought about Harrington saying, _Max said you were always an asshole_ and how pissed and weird he’d made him feel _ _.__  Max and Sinclair stared at him with wide eyes. He didn’t need to see any more of their  _Love Boat_  shit; he was gonna puke everywhere in two more seconds. It’d been like a week since Harrington’d done one of his weird drive-bys anyway. Billy wouldn’t mind seeing him and pissing him off. “Jesus fuck, Max. I’m going to take you! If you get into any more bullshit I’m gonna get raked for it anyway! Let’s go, all right.”

He threw his  _This Side of Paradise_  book and stood up; Max fucking launched herself at him in a bear hug. “THANK YOU BILLY!” she positively screamed into the vicinity of his shoulder.

“FUCKOFFMYARM!” A stab of pain rippled through him.

Max let him go. She calmed her hysterics. “Sorry, sorry!”

They all hustled out of the house and down the driveway to his car; Max ran ahead of them and stood there pulling and shaking the shit out of his passenger side doorhandle like she could unlock it with sheer stupid will.

“Quit messing with my car!” Billy hollered at her. Sinclair was walking beside him and he clearly did not want to be: his shoulders were all hunched and he looked majorly uncomfortable. Billy stared down at him; Sinclair looked even more uncomfortable. It was kind of pissing Billy off: he had literally not fucking said a goddamn thing to the kid in months. He and Max had gotten seriously lucky that Neil hadn’t seen them together. “Okay, for serious. Does Harrington really fucking play D&D with you guys?”

The line in Sinclair’s shoulders eased out for some reason. “Yeah, sometimes.”

Life was so awesome. Life was grand; life was a picnic and Steve Harrington played Dungeons and Dragons on Friday nights. Apparently his other hobbies were being a fucking dork and driving around staring at Billy. “ _ _Such__  a gift you just gave me, Sinclair. A true, true gift, I’m going to remember this.”

Sinclair laughed suddenly, short and sharp. “You’re crazy,” he said.

“You’re the ones who’re screaming about  _bad people_  at fucking ten at night.” Billy unlocked his car; Max dove into the backseat like a crazy person avoiding a bomb. She’d still been jiggling the door handle like a piece of shit this whole time. “Maxine! This ain’t _Knight Rider._ ” Sinclair slid into the car beside her and then they both stared at Billy from the backseat like twin raccoons; he could see their eyes all big and bright and shining in his rearview mirror. “Aw, what, nobody wants to sit up front with me? Where we headed?”

“Dustin said they were in the woods,” Sinclair said quietly. “He said by his house, I think. If you go up to Elm Street – “

“Are you kidding me? I’m not gonna go traipsing through the forest while you guys hold hands and – “

“BILLY!” Max screamed. “YOU SAID YOU WOULD TAKE US! THEY COULD BE HURT!”

“Oh Jesus Christ, all right.” Billy revved his engine over her hysterics; the car started roaring down Hill Drive. He guessed his English homework could wait so that he and Harrington could goddamn stare at each other in the forest as a bunch of brats screamed their crazy bullshit heads off. What the fuck did she mean, they could be hurt? He didn’t understand who’d want to hurt Harrington and a bunch of kids; even though he hated Steve he was pretty sure he was too much of a dork to really have a pedo ring. All of Max’s screaming and her huge hurt eyes were freaking him the fuck out.

They sped on in silence. The stereo in the car was still blasting from earlier; Billy didn’t bother to turn it down. He kept seeing Max’s big scared eyes in his mirror. Once Sinclair said, ‘If you turn up off Main – “

“I know where to go,” Billy said shortly. Sinclair fell silent and then no one said anything again for a while.  _Africa_  by Toto blared on the speakers; it felt like they were in a goddamn movie.

He turned off of Elm and got onto the state road. They roared past the houses and then the river, the other little general store on the outskirts of town. The powerlines gave way to clustered groups of trees and big shale slabs sloping down from the woods; they were really on the edge of town and Billy was starting to think that Max and Sinclair were fucking with him. He had no clue why they wanted him to drive out to the middle of the woods but they were probably fucking with him. He was about to turn back in his seat and start yelling at them when they turned up a hill in the road and saw the headlights of another car, parked all crazy on the wrong side of the road.

It was Harrington’s car; Billy knew that right away. He knew what Harrington’s fucking pristine BMW looked like first of off; he’d seen it enough over the last few weeks. Second of all Harrington himself was just standing out in the middle of the goddamn road like a maniac. Billy could see the outline of him, dark in the headlights. He knew what Harrington looked like, too.

“There!” Sinclair and Max screamed like Billy was a blind person who was gonna mow down Harrington. Billy considered it for a split second anyway, then decided there’d be too many witnesses. He pulled the car off to the left and parked it a couple yards away from Harrington’s car. He still felt like he was in a goddamn movie. You could never find anyone for shit in this town and he’d driven himself right to Steve fucking Harrington.

It wasn’t just Steve, it was the whole brat pack, scattered on the side of the road like fuckin’ morons. Max and Sinclair jumped out of the car and were running to them and Harrington before Billy’d even killed his engine.

Not the whole brat pack, he saw as he got out of the car too. Looked like that little Byers was missing, that girl Ellen too. He didn’t see her that much anyway; he remembered Max looking at the floor and saying _El doesn’t me._  Why the fuck’d she run all the way out here then?

Harrington was yelling his head off on the middle of the road as Sinclair and Billy’s crazy sister ran up to him. “OH JESUS CHRIST!” he said. “THERE’S MORE OF YOU?” He looked up and saw Billy. “Oh Jesus Christ,” he said again, almost moaned. “No, no, no. You brought  _him_  too?”

“Miss me, honey?” Billy said. Harrington rolled his eyes all over the goddamn state; it made Billy grin. Harrington looked pale and skinny against the bright lights of his BMW.

“Why are you seriously  _every place_  I am?” Harrington moaned.

“Trust me, I’m not searching for you, pretty boy. I think you’ve got that covered.”

“You seriously cannot be here,” Steve half-yelled at him. He looked all crazy like Max; his eyes were huge in his head too. He turned to Max and Sinclair. “He seriously doesn’t need to be here, what were you thinking? How, how are you guys even here?”

“Pure intuition,” Billy said. Harrington rolled his eyes all over the state again.

“Look, man – “

“Can you guys do your  _Breakfast Club_ shit later?” Sinclair demanded.

Billy and Harrington both stared at him. “Excuse me?”

Sinclair was rolling his eyes at them. “Dustin radio’d us. Where’s Mike?” He grabbed Max’s hand and they dashed off down the road to where the rest of the brat pack were squawking away.

Billy leaned up against Harrington’s car; Harrington stared at him with murderous intent. It was great. Harrington’s huge hair was floating all around his face. “Stevie, this is the second time I’ve found you around with a bunch of little kids in the middle of the night. Want to tell me what the fuck’s going on? D&D got a little too crazy?”

“Oh my god,” Harrington said to the sky. “First off, man, I don’t have time for your shit, you can seriously just go home. Second, it’s like ten thirty, are you a grandfather?”

“Look, this is not really my idea of a great night,” Billy told him. He figured he probably shouldn’t tell Harrington he’d be pretty deep into  _This Side of Paradise_  otherwise. “My kid sister bursts into my room and screams her ass off until I drive her somewhere; I’m kinda thinking it’s  _you_  that’s the  _bad people_  she’s been screaming about.”

Harrington’s eyes got even bigger and more crazy. “Oh my god,  _what?_ ” he said. “ _What?_  Did she say there’s people out here?”

Billy took pause. “Wait, so you don’t know? So what the fuck’s going on?”

“I NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” Harrington screamed; it was a bit much. “All I know is that El’s gone missing, I tried to call the sheriff and he’s supposed to meet us.”

That Ellen girl was the sheriff’s daughter, Billy was pretty sure. The Hoppers. He’d seen them being all weird as fuck together in the grocery store a couple times. Max’d said hey and Ellen’d stared right through her. “She was with you kids? How’d you lose her?”

“I didn’t  _lose her!_ ” Harrington snapped. He looked like a mental patient with his hair sticking up all crazy. “She’s not – like, supposed to go out. Mike started flipping out, he said something was wrong. So I called Hopper and  _he_  flipped out and said she wasn’t home, and then, I don’t know, everyone screamed their heads off, and somehow here I am out in the goddamn woods! _Again!_ ”

“Hmmmm,” said Billy. He was still leaning against Harrington’s car. “Do you experience lapses in time a lot, Harrington? That could be, there could be, you know, signs of a serious psychological problem there. You know – “

“Ooooooh my god,” Harrington said. He whirled away from Billy and started stalking towards the kids; they were further down the road where there was a break in the trees. The kids all looked at Steve and then started tumbling down into the woods. “HEY! WHAT THE FUCK! NO, NO, NO, WE ARE NOT DOING THAT SHIT. OH, MY GOD.”

Billy stared after them all running into the woods. He dug around in his jacket pocket and dragged out a cigarette. He lit it up and started following after Steve. It didn’t take too long to reach him; Harrington was still standing at the edge of the road with his hands on his hips like a mother hen.

“MAXINE!” Billy roared. He kind of felt like a mother hen, too, honestly. He should have drank all of his dad’s beers after all; he’d’ve been too fucked up to drive and get himself into this bullshit. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Max turned and stared at him; she was the last kid on the road standing next to Steve. She took two steps off to the side and then just jumped down the fucking hill and disappeared into the grove of trees too.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” said Billy. “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU.”

“No,  _I’m_  going to fucking kill them,” Steve said. He stepped off the road too and started following after them. “You can fight me for it. So, so dead. Beautiful bodies littered everywhere.”

“Gonna take all of Max’s records and fucking smash them, gonna take the wheels off her fuckin’ board – “

“I hate these kids, I am never giving Dustin a goddamn ride again, I’m gonna bury Sinclair’s slingshot in my fucking yard – “ Steve and Billy stormed down the hill and into the trees; he could hear the kids crashing around and running through the fallen leaves. They finally caught up to the brats a couple hundred yard later at a break in the underbrush. Billy’s cigarette had gone out already and he felt real sulky.

“You guys!” Steve screamed his damn head off. His voice was shrill and hoarse. “What the FUCK!”

All the kids ignored him again; it’d be truly great if they weren’t all running through the goddamn woods in the middle of the night making Billy chase after them.

That kid Mike – Billy was pretty sure it was Mike; he knew what Henderson and Sinclair looked like – was grabbing Sinclair’s arm all crazy. “Steve, you can just go if you don’t care. We don’t need you here.”

“Oh, you don’t need me here but you need my fucking car, that is so goddamn sweet,” Steve said. “Yeah, sure, me and Billy can go fuck off at the diner; Max can just drive his fucking car home again!”

“Wait, what?” Billy said. He looked over at Max; it was dark as shit but the moon was bright. “ _You_  drove my fucking car?”

Max gave him a huge nervous smile. “The engine runs real great, Bill!”

“Oh, my fucking god,” Billy said. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Tell me about it, I was passed out in the backseat,” Steve said. “Thanks for that, by the way. That blood on your door’s mine.”

“Excuse me? You rolled me into the fucking bushes!”

“I didn’t roll you anywhere!” snapped Steve. He was real worked up. “I was  _unconscious!_ You concussed me, man. I could fucking sue you. My dad would win it. I mean, okay, if we hadn’t been – “

“Fuck you, sue me for shit, you fucking drug dealer, we ain’t got any fuckin’ money anyway.” Billy wanted to break his goddamn arm again on Harrington’s face.

“Drug dealer?” Steve looked massively insulted. “ _Drug dealer?!_ I’ll scrap your fucking car and sell it for parts – “

“SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!” Mike screamed at them. “DO YOU WANT THEM TO HEAR US?”

Mike was crazy; everyone was goddamn crazy. There was something here in the water in Hawkins and Billy was the only sane person left. He took a moment to stop being pissed the fuck off at Harrington. “Man, what the FUCK are you talking about?” he demanded.

Mike ignored them. He turned back to the goonies. “I  _know_ El’s here,” he said. “I  _know_  she’s close. She showed me where she was, I don’t think she meant to. She’s been getting so strong lately.”

“What the  _fuck_ is he talking about?” Billy asked Steve.

Steve was back to looking like a man consigned to his death. “I never fucking have any idea, man.”

The kids stared at them again and then took off running; they splashed through some little creek that was probably run-off from a fucking sewer pipe and ran up another hill. They started tumbling down it like maniacs. “JANE!” Mike was screaming his head off even though he’d just told Billy and Harrington to shut the fuck up. “JAAAAAAAANE!”

Billy screwed up his face. “Who the fuck is Jane?” he asked. “Thought we were looking for the sheriff and his kid.”

“We are, she is.” Steve was ahead of him going down the ravine; he almost fell on his fucking face. “I mean, it’s not, it’s kind of complicated, okay. We don’t really know what to call her yet. She’s really, um, she’s like, she’s really eleven.”

Billy stared at his back. “I don’t fucking care how old she is!”

“Ooooooh my fucking god!” Steve yelled like he was in pain. “Can you just shut the fuck up and come on?”

“Whatever.” So they were running around in the woods looking for a goddamn preteen; the sheriff was gonna book him and Steve for kidnapping. Surely there’d be some cocaine in prison. He followed Harrington down the hill and up the other side of it; the kids were all standing in a group huddled in front of another cluster of trees, gazing into it like psychos. A tree branch snapped loudly somewhere in front of them.

Harrington jumped back and knocked into Billy’s bad arm; Billy let out a grunt and shoved him back, hard. Steve ignored him. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” he screamed like he’d never heard a goddamn squirrel jumping off a tree before.

The kids all looked freaked out too. Max and Sinclair grabbed at each other; they gazed all deep into each other’s eyes again. Billy felt like puking, but it was really from his arm throbbing. “What – what if it’s one of those things again?” Max asked Lucas.

Steve looked even more crazy. “WHY WOULD IT BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS AGAIN?” he screamed.

“SHUT UP!” Mike and Henderson screamed at him. The thing in the woods snapped another branch; everyone went fucking ballistic.

“AHHHHHH!” Henderson yelled his head off and started running back down the ravine. He knocked Steve full force into Billy and they both tumbled down into the creek. Billy landed on some sharp rocks and Harrington fell on top of him; it was really so great, a fucking romantic night, just what Billy’d always wanted.

“FUCK!” Steve said. He jammed his elbow right into Billy’s sternum, probably on purpose. “Fuck! Shit! Sorry!”

Billy’s arm was folded up underneath him; waves of pain were shooting down his shoulder and he was pretty sure he’d broken the damn thing again. “Get. The fuck. Off me,” he gritted out.

“Shit, sorry!” Steve was scrambling off him; somehow he fell again and flopped his whole weight on Billy.

“MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Sorry! Christ!” Steve rolled off him and sat up; they were both soaking wet and the kids were gone. He stood up and stood there looking down at Billy. “You all right?”

He wasn’t fucking all right; he hadn’t been all right all goddamn night. He managed to pick himself up without moving his arm too much. It hurt like a motherfucker and his fingers were already numb. “You are a lot heavier than you look, Harrington.”

“I’m compact,” Steve told him, a little sassy-like. It was real cute. “You okay? Did you see where the fuck they went off to now?”

“No, I didn’t see shit.” Billy’s chest hurt where Steve’d elbowed him. Steve offered him a hand but he couldn’t take it; he didn’t really want to use his left arm. Max was so dead; she was so beyond dead; she was a little redhaired ghost dancing on her grave. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Jesus, I don’t know – “ A shadow fell over them and Steve fell silent. He locked eyes with Billy and then they both slowly drug their gazes up to the top of the ravine. Billy was pretty sure they were about to fucking die.

A huge deer was standing at the top of the ravine and staring at them silently. It had giant antlers and a big thick puffed out chest; Billy felt like he’d just stepped into a live-action version of  _ _Bambi__. The deer stared at them and lowered its head slowly.

“Oh my god,” said Steve. “Oh my fucking god, are you kidding me? GUYS, IT’S JUST A FUCKING DEER!”

No kids answered them; they were probably halfway across the state line at this point. Steve and Billy stared at the deer. Billy managed to fumble his way to his feet. Steve stared at him all crazy. “Is it … gonna charge at us?”

“No it’s not gonna fucking charge at us!” Billy snapped. “It’s not a moose, ain’t you ever seen a goddamn deer out here before?”

“Fuck you,” Steve said, mostly on autopilot. He was staring past the deer now, which was slowly walking by them. “That’s not the only thing out here. We should go.” He sounded so serious that Billy didn’t even answer him. He followed Steve back up the other side of the ravine.

They walked in silence for a while; it felt like a long time. Billy’s arm was throbbing like a motherfucker and he was starting to feel pretty freaked out. Getting lost in the woods with Steve Harrington was not very high up on his list of things to do in Hawkins. Every now and then they’d scream out for Max or one of the other shitheads. As they walked they detailed to each other in graphic ways how they were gonna kill the kids and how much they were gonna enjoy it. Harrington had a really dark mind; Billy could dig it. “First I’m gonna tie Mike up and make him eat his fucking dungeonmaster handbook,” Steve said. “Maybe I’ll smear it in dog shit first. Then I’m gonna rip his eyeballs out, I’ll do it real slow. Take his 20-sided dice and stick ‘em in his eyesockets. How are you gonna kill Maxine?”

“I think I’m just gonna drive over her a couple times, pull some _Christine_ shit on her,” Billy said. He was tired and his arm hurt a lot; he couldn’t really get too creative. “You’ve got a lot more kids to kill than me, can I have one of them?”

“Sure, you can have Dustin, he’s a fucking pain in my ass,” Steve said. Billy almost laughed at him but he didn’t know how Steve would take that. After a while longer of wandering around lost Steve sighed and turned to him. “I’m pretty sure we’re fucking lost and we’re gonna die,” he said like a dramatic heroine. “Got any apologies you want to make to me?”

Billy was holding his cast against his chest so that his arm wasn’t flapping around everywhere. “I am really sorry I never asked you what you shot me up with back in November,” he said. “That shit was awesome, I slept better than I had since I was a fuckin’ baby.”

Steve laughed out in surprise; he sounded a little hysterical. “That wasn’t my shit,” he said. “I think, I think it was the sheriff’s.”

“What the fuck,” Billy said. It was the phrase of the night.

Steve was still laughing like a crazy person. “Welcome to Hawkins!” he said. He finally stopped laughing and suddenly they could hear the kids up ahead. They were still near the water and Billy knew that the sound carried.

“Go north,” he told Steve.

Steve looked confused. His face was pale in the weak light of the moon. “Huh? Which way’s north?”

“Oh my fucking god!” Billy said. “Just fucking follow it upstream!” Fucking midwestern fuck didn’t know how to follow a goddamn river. Billy stalked ahead of him and led them up the creek; they were only walking for a couple of minutes before they went up another hill and found the brat pack all standing on the rocks in the water, illuminated in the moonlight.

“Oh, my god, Jesus,” Steve said and ran up ahead of Billy like a mother duck flocking to his chicks. “There you guys are. Jesus Christ.”

“Sorry Steve, did you kill the demodog?” Henderson asked him. “We found El!”

“It wasn’t a demodog,” Steve said. Billy had no clue what the fuck they were talking about as usual. “It was a fucking deer, you asshole!”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Billy stopped paying attention to them and stared down at the creek; the Sheriff’s daughter was sitting in it like a freakshow and not saying anything. All the kids were crowded around her and no one was talking. That Mike kid was kneeling down over her and he had both his hands on her shoulder, grabbing her. The sheriff’s daughter was crying a lot; Billy took a couple of steps closer and saw. She was all messy and blood and snot were coming out of her nose and blood was coming out of her ears.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Billy screamed. He grabbed Mike and drug him off her; Steve and Henderson stopped arguing about the deer and stared at him with their eyes wide. “THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?”

Mike shoved Billy off of him; it wasn’t hard to do since Billy only had the use of one goddamn arm. “I didn’t do anything to her, you asshole! WHY are you even HERE?”

Billy didn’t answer him; he kept looking at the kid. She was still looking up at Mike and crying and snotting out blood. Christ it was a lot of blood. Billy felt sick; his arm throbbed in sympathy. “What the fuck happened? Someone hit you, kid?”

“NO ONE HIT HER, YOU DOUCHEBAG!” Mike screamed. “ARE YOU CRAZY?”

Billy shoved him back; he felt a little hysterical himself. “Someone hit her, motherfucker,” he said. He felt really unhinged. The little girl looked like someone’d kicked her in the head and she was crying. Once his dad had kicked him into the front door so hard as a kid his ears had bled like that and he’d been so goddamn dizzy. Dad said he’d kicked the last of his smarts out of him; he hadn’t let Billy’s mom take him to the hospital. The sheriff’s little kid with her snotty bloody face was freaking him the fuck out.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Mike was yelling. Billy barely even heard him.

“Mike.” The sheriff’s daughter spoke up; she had a weird soft voice. Billy’d never heard her talk before. He was kind of surprised she  _ _could__  talk, with all the fucking blood coming out of her ears. “Stop.” She looked up and her eyes burned right through Billy; he took a step back. “No one hit me. We have to go.”

She turned her head and locked eyes with Mike. Her face caught the moonlight; the blood on her lip was so red. Jesus. She said, “I saw Papa. He’s looking for me.”

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK, Billy said in his head.

“Okay,” Mike said, real soft all of the sudden like he was talking to a little kitten or some shit. He leaned down again and grabbed the girl’s shoulders. Jane or El or Ellen or whatever the fuck her name was. He helped Elijane to her feet. “Can you walk?”

“I can walk.” She stood up and took Mike’s hand; she started leading him out of the creek. They walked past Billy and she didn’t look at him again. Billy looked up; everyone else was staring at him, though, looking like he was a crazy person. Max looked really sad.

Harrington was staring at him too and chewing on his lip; he turned away after a long second. “Okay, guys? What the fuck? Guys? El, do you know where the fuck we are?”

“Car’s close.”

“Okay, great, fucking great,” Steve said. “So glad we just ran around in a giant fucking circle. So are there like, can you see, like, can you see shit now? Are we alone or, what the fuck is going on?”

“Stop. Talking.”

“Great, fucking great,” Harrington whispered to himself again. He ran his hands through his hair and dashed off past Billy, following after Mike and the sheriff’s bloody crazy daughter. Henderson followed quickly after him and Max and Sinclair came and stood by Billy.

Max was staring at him. “Are you okay?”

Billy didn’t answer her for a minute. Then he said, “Found your goddamn friend, huh.” He started following after Harrington too.

The crazy chick was right; the car was close. It only took them all about five minutes to climb out of the woods and back up to the road. As they reached the outskirts of the forest there came a loud squeal of tires; a black Civic roared past them and around Steve and Billy’s parked cars. It was just a car and it was anyone’s car but it freaked Billy the fuck out. He thought about Max screaming, eighty million hours ago,  _There’s PEOPLE and we CAN’T FIND El._ Jesus it freaked him the fuck out.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Steve screamed his head off. “WHO WAS THAT?” No one answered him; Billy guessed it was about what was usual for him.

They got out of the woods and then the sheriff came rumbling down the road in his Jeep with the lights all flashing like crazy, because Billy’s life was a goddamn movie so of course the sheriff would show up right after all the crazy shit had already happened. He grabbed up Ellen or Jane or whatever the fuck her name was and held his face in her hands; she started crying a lot and put her hands over his. Hopper picked her up and carried her into his car. Mike and Henderson and Sinclair all climbed in after them; Sinclair didn’t even look over his shoulder at Max which was pretty fucked up.

“Cool, great to see you again, Hopper,” Steve said weakly as the sheriff started his car up. He went to drive around them and then stopped the car and stared out at Billy and Max, mostly at Billy.

“Hargrove,” he said all slowly like he was saying a swear. Billy wouldn’t be surprised if his dad had marched down to the sheriff’s office on the day they’d closed on their house and read him off Billy’s whole record from California. “Look, what you saw tonight – “

Billy was so fucking tired. “Didn’t see shit, I don’t know shit, we were all playing fuckin’ flashlight tag,” he said.

Hopper stared at him some more; he looked like the Terminator or some shit. Henderson and Sinclair and Wheeler were all staring at him from the backseat too. “All right,” Hopper said finally. “Good. Thanks, kid.” He looked at Steve. “Make sure he doesn’t say anything.”

“Sure, great,” Steve said weakly. Hopper drove off and left them on the side of the road.

The three of them all just stood on the side of the road for a minute. Nobody was talking. Billy finally took his eyes off the road and looked up; Harrington and his stepsister were having a very animated conversation with their eyes and hand gestures. They both looked at him at the same time; both their hands were in the air.

Max glared at Steve until he sighed and put his hands down. “Okay,” he said. He looked at Billy. “Okay, I guess, I guess you really want to know what the fuck is going on.”

Billy did really want to know what the fuck was going on, but now that the kid was safe or whatever he kind of had more pressing matters. “Look, I’d seriously love to hear your creepy kid shit, but I’m pretty sure I broke my fucking arm again, me and my sister gotta go.”

Steve recoiled and Max jumped forward at him like a crazy person; Billy took a step back and warded her off with a glare before she jumped all the fuck over him. “WHAT?” Steve yelled. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, ARE YOU KIDDING?”

“No I’m not kidding, asshole, you fucking broke it falling on me, you compact trash can,” Billy said.

“Oh my god,” Steve said. His eyes were all huge in his head. “Are you, are you, are you fucking serious? That, that was like two hours ago, the whole time we were walking!”

“No shit,” said Billy. “Fucking hurts.”

“Oh my god,” Steve said. “Shit. Fuck. I am so sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Shit.”

“How are you just walking around right now?” Max demanded. “Can you even drive?”

“Should I, should I like drive you?” Steve was looking pretty panicked. “To the hospital?”

“No, I can do it,” Billy said. He was pretty sure he could make it; he was half sure. He needed to be away from Harrington and his huge eyes and his stupid hair and his crazy screaming and his. Whatever.

“Jesus. Jesus, are you sure?”

“M’allright.” Billy walked back to his car; he had to fumble around all awkward in his pocket with his right arm. He was left-handed and he probably looked like a fucking idiot trying to take his keys out of his pocket. Max followed him to the car and got into the passenger side; Steve followed her too for some reason and he stood there staring at Billy like a huge freakshow.

Billy didn’t say anything and got into the car. Max took his keys from him and started the engine; she didn’t need to do that. Harrington leaned over his opened window and kept staring at him. Billy closed his eyes. “Fuck’re you doing?”

“Fuck,” Steve said. “I am really sorry, man.”

Billy didn’t open his eyes. His arm was throbbing again and he needed Harrington to go away. “Look, fuck off, all right? We’re even, okay, stop saying sorry.”

“Shit. Right. All right. Sorry.” Billy opened his eyes to glare at him. “Fuck! Sorry, all right?”

Billy pressed down on the gas pedal and revved the engine. He was still holding his arm against his chest the best he could. “Better back up,” he said.

“All right, all right.” Harrington stopped leaning on the car and stepped back a couple paces. He kept staring at Billy. “I’m gonna come by and talk to you, all right?”

“I can tell him,” Max said. Her head was whipping back and forth as she looked between the two of them; she was leaned over too close and kept hitting him in the face with her hair. “I’ll tell him everything if you want.”

“Oh,” Harrington said. “Uh. Yeah, okay. Do you want – “

“Can you really drive like this, Billy?”

“If I pass the fuck out you can take the wheel, apparently you’re so great at driving my fucking car.”

“Ha ha ha,” Max said very nervously.

Steve was still fucking staring at him. “Are you sure you’re – “

Billy drove off before Harrington could finish. Steve just stood there in the road looking after them; Billy could see him in the rearview mirror, so bright. The lights of his BMW had been on this whole time. After a few seconds he was just another blurred shape.

 


	2. Chapter Two

  
**Chapter Two**

 _We got something, we both know it, we don't talk too much about it_  
_Ain't no real big secret, all the same, somehow we get around it_  
_Listen, it don't really matter to me_  
_You believe what you want to believe, you see_  
_You don't have to live like a refugee_  
_Somewhere, somehow, somebody must have kicked you around some_  
_Tell me why you want to lay there and revel in your abandon_  
_It don't make no difference to me, baby_  
_Everybody's had to fight to be free, you see_  
_You don't have to live like a refugee_

– “Refugee,” Tom Petty

 

**September 1986**

**Hawkins, Indiana**

 

Another week went by and school started up again. For all he tried, and he was really trying, Billy couldn’t keep Steve Harrington out of his goddamn mind. He couldn’t keep a couple of things out of his goddamn mind – the Sheriff’s kid looking all bloody for one – but Harrington was pretty much the main thing. What else was new, Billy asked himself.

Harrington hadn’t done one of his creepy drive-bys past Billy’s house or his work again since their big adventure together in the woods so Billy hadn’t really seen him around. It was kind of weird. Over the last couple weeks he’d gotten pretty used to Harrington popping up everywhere, staring at him in the grocery store or driving past his house all slow like he was in the FBI; he and Max had like three jokes about Steve being in the FBI now. Billy didn’t know if he hadn’t seen him because Harrington’d decided he was trustworthy or some shit, or if Harrington’d just been so goddamn annoyed by him the whole night that he’d gone and had an aneurysm or something. Maybe the brain trauma had kickstarted some wires in his head that made him decide to start acting like a normal human who didn’t follow innocent, unassuming people around anymore.

He was pretty sure Harrington was never going to be a normal human, though. No normal human could be as fucking annoying as Steve Harrington. It wasn’t physically possible; Billy was sure of it.

Billy thought about him a lot. It wasn’t a big thing, though, because he thought about a lot of things a lot. He thought about his car a lot. He thought school was for shit a lot. He thought Max was a stupid shithead twerp a lot.

He thought about that weird girl Ellen or Jane a lot, too. It’d been a week and Max still hadn’t told him the shit on the kid; by now Billy had about eight theories about her. It was the end of summer so he and Max were both running around, really they hadn’t seen each other much at all. Billy’d even went to two parties he’d found out about; he got super drunk at one which he hadn’t done in a couple months honestly. He’d woke up all strung out with a killer headache in someone’s backyard in the bushes. It was some real deja vu shit.

Anyway, school’d started up again and he and Max were real miserable about it. She and her little queer friends were all in the high school with him this year and Billy was definitely real miserable about that. It was Wednesday now and he was walking out of the school and he stopped dead in his tracks: he couldn’t keep Steve Harrington off his mind and he couldn’t keep him off his goddamn car either, apparently.

He’d only stayed late for a couple minutes but Max was already at his car waiting for him. She had her stupid green track jacket on like usual and she was beaming and bouncing around, talking to Sinclair and Henderson and fucking Steve Harrington. Fucking Steve Harrington who was actually leaning up against Billy’s Camaro like he had absolutely no regard for his life.

Billy stomped his way over to his car; he was sure he looked real threatening with his new cast that Max had drawn some bullshit all over and his world history book and his math book. Max saw him coming and went and leaned on his car too next to Steve. They looked real cute together smiling at him, just like a damn postcard at the general store. Billy came up to them. “What the fuck is going on over here?” he asked Max. “Whatever it is, I do not like it.”

“Steve got off of work early and he wants to take us to get food,” Max told him.

“That is so sweet, I can’t tell you,” Billy said. He didn’t know what kinda job Harrington had where he had to wear a collared shirt and a tie and just got to fucking skip out on whole afternoons.

“Hey man,” Steve said. He ignored the fact that Billy pointedly wasn’t looking at him. “How’s uh, how’s your arm doing?”

“S’fine.” It was really hard not to look at him; Harrington was some kind of presence. A really annoying one, Billy told himself. “Why’re you guys all hanging out at my car, it’s not the Pizza Hut. You don’t need my permission to go out, Maxine.”

Max rolled her eyes at him using her full name. Sinclair said, “Well, yeah, the thing is, we wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with us.” Henderson pulled a face and Max pinched him.

“That is so sweet,” Billy said again. “You got me feeling those real emotions as usual, Lucas.” Sinclair actually smiled at him. Somewhere in the back of his head Billy could hear his dad wailing away about all the blacks and the fags in this town but he ignored it.

“Yeah, he’s a real cutie pie,” Harrington said. He flipped his stupid sunglasses onto his face. “Whatdya say, you want to come with us?”

“Nope, not really.”

“Come on, I’ll buy you a milkshake,” Harrington said. He gave Billy his best pretty boy smile; it really was real fucking pretty if Billy wanted to be honest. “I owe it to you.”

Billy just stared at him; the fuck he owed it to him. He was pretty sure Harrington was screwing with him. He was either screwing with him or he was a goddamn moron who didn’t remember that Billy’d went crazy and beat the shit out of him last year. Beat the shit out of him and probably would’ve actually killed him or something if Max hadn’t stopped him with her glorious mystery syringe. “I gotta go to work,” Billy said; it wasn’t a lie.

Harrington stared back at him. Billy couldn’t really read his expression because of the stupid sunglasses; it didn’t matter anyway, he told himself. “Sure, okay,” Harrington said. He kept leaning on Billy’s car and looking at him. He clearly had a death wish. Billy didn’t know what the fuck he wanted from him.

Henderson gave out one of his gross sighing noises; the kid was the worst and was always making some gross noise or gurgling like a Wookie. Billy barely even fuckin’ saw him but he was always gurgling like a Wookie. “Okay, guys, it didn’t work, can we go now?”

“ _Dustin,_ ” Steve said in a reproving tone. Even with the sunglasses on he instantly looked like _Mr. Mom_ or some shit. “What the hell, man.”

“What!” yapped Henderson. “He said he didn’t want to go!”

Billy put his books on top of the car and starting shoving Max away from his door, not that hard so she’d know he wasn’t real pissed. Even so she could usually tell when he was real pissed. “Yeah, I don’t want to go.”

Max let him slide her off the car. “Will you pick me up at the arcade later?” she asked him.

“Just call me at work,” Billy said. Neil was home all this week and the next so Billy basically planned on being at work all the goddamn time, even if it meant having to listen to a million shitty hour-blocks of Madonna on POWER 99 while Hank talked his fucking ear off and his faggot brother floated around the shop. “Dad’s home,” he told her as a reminder.

Max made a face. “Yeah, I know,” she said. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?”

“We’re reeeeally fun,” Steve put in. He had his winsome pretty boy smile on again.

Billy rolled his eyes; he still didn’t know what the fuck Harrington was up to. “Oh, I’m sure of that,” he said. “I know we’ve all had so much fun together lately.” Actually now he got it: they probably wanted to drive him back to the woods and kill him and dump the body to make sure he wasn’t going to say shit about Ellen or Jane or whatever her name was. He couldn’t believe it’d been over a damn week already and he hadn’t gotten Max to tell him the scoop on the kid.

“Could’ve been worse,” Steve said. He was smiling at Billy a little and it made him feel weird as shit; Harrington definitely wanted to kill him.

“Could have been _way_ worse,” Sinclair said; he looked real serious.

Billy was bored with them. He opened his door and started knocking Max in the hip with it. “Are you guys going or what?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Max said. She finally moved away from his car and grabbed Sinclair’s hand. “See you later, Billy.”

“Yeah, bye.” He watched the kids and Harrington walk away.

Billy drove down to the shop; Hank was there ordering food and getting ready for the baseball game tonight. He told Billy he’d be leaving early, if Billy could stay til at least five in case anyone came in. Billy thanked god; Hank was all right and all but Billy really didn’t feel like hearing him chatter on til nine at night like he had yesterday. He didn’t really see himself going anywhere else for the foreseeable future, though. “I got you.”

Hank was already eating like three sub sandwiches at once; Billy kind of felt like he was in a cartoon. “What you doing next weekend?” Hank asked him. “You want to repaint a car with me on Saturday, the twelfth? It’s my niece’s for her birthday. I’ll pay you extra.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be around. Call me at my house and remind me.” He hadn’t done too much body work on cars really; it’d be nice to learn it.

Hank clapped him on the back. Billy watched some of the lettuce from his sandwich go flying. He managed not to make a comment. “You’re a great kid, Bill. Great kid.” Hank was probably the only person in the whole state of Indiana who thought that; shit, in the state of California too. Even Billy’s uncle, his mom’s brother, knew he was rotten.

Hank closed up shop and went home after another hour of talking Billy’s head off like usual. It was a slow day; Hank was doing even more shit around the garage now because of Billy’s school starting this week and because Billy’d gone and broke his arm again. Hank had laughed real loud when Billy’d told him the story. Billy had to edit a couple of bits. Okay half. Okay most of it, really. It sounded funny and less freaky when he told it to Hank.

It hadn’t been funny when it’d been happening and it’d been pretty freaky. He and Max hadn’t even talked at all or anything on the drive to the hospital: Billy was real intent on not crashing his fucking Camaro, and he’d been so damn tired from not screaming and crying about his arm. Then at the hospital the same nurse had been there who’d checked him in a couple weeks ago when he’d been there with his old man; she’d given Billy a real suspicious look like he went around breaking his wrist for fun all the time. It’d been past two in the morning when they’d gotten there (no sign of Susan’s good dish towel anywhere on the floor there either; he and Max were pretty sure it was gone for good). Billy’d got another bill and now he was gonna owe his dad even more money.

By the time he’d gotten his damn arm reset and they’d gone home it’d been nearly five and they’d caught holy hell from Susan. It was just Susan though so instead of holy hell it’d been more like a mild purgatory. She really thought they had been playing fucking flashlight tag. Bless her fucking heart, she was such a goddamn mom. She still wasn’t Billy’s mom, though.

Anyway, Hank went on home and Billy changed a tire and gave the keys back to a couple of guys that came in to pick up their cars. There was just the lonely gorgeous Pontiac left in the back. It basically needed the whole engine reworked and he and Hank kept finding more shit wrong with it. After that it was past five so no one else came in.

Billy sat at the desk at the front and felt like a fucking loser for a while. It wasn’t like back in Cali; there was shit here to do in Hawkins, especially on a Wednesday, but he still felt like a fucking loser. Damn if he didn’t actually miss Tracey, he was such a piece of shit. He went and got his books and actually did most of his homework. He was still putting the math aside. And aside and aside. Billy was going to be a mechanic and he already knew all the math he needed to know. A steady stream of C’s or D’s in class would probably keep Neil from wailing on him again.

The phone rang at a little before eight; Billy picked it up without taking his gaze off his book for English. They were reading _East of Eden_ and Billy’d already gone through the first couple chapters since they’d got it on Monday. He wasn’t sure it’d be as good as _The Grapes of Wrath._ It was definitely better than _Of Mice and Men_ at any rate. They didn’t need to drown those puppies and they didn’t need to kill Lennie, either; actually the whole book had been a goddamn tragedy. He guessed that was the point. He realized he was still reading and not answering the phone. “Hawkins Auto,” he said into the line.

“Billy?” It was Maxine. “Are you still at work?”

“How could I not be at work if I’m answering the phone?” He thought about saying _I don’t got mind powers like your little friend_ but didn’t for some reason. Harrington’d probably been fucking with him when he’d said that shit. Not probably but definitely. He thought about Steve staring at him all crazy in his car. _She can like. Move shit with her mind._ Sure she could; Harrington was a piece of work.

“I just meant are you still _working._ ” Max was scoffing at him like he was a huge bozo.

“I’m just finishing here,” Billy lied; it wasn’t a big lie. “You want to come home already or what?”

“Hell no I don’t want to go home!” Max said, still like he was a huge bozo. Billy rolled his eyes. “I’m just telling you we’re not at the arcade now, we went there first.”

“Okay,” said Billy. He was reading his book again.

“We’re going out to eat now,” Max said all pointedly.

“Okay.”

Max sighed. “You know you can still come with us if you want.”

Billy made a face and closed his book finally. “Maxine,” he said. “You and your little queer friends are real cute and all, but I don’t need to you recruit me into the Creepy Kid Club, okay?”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Max yapped her head off. “And stop calling us queers, you don’t have to be such a dick all the time.” She sighed heavily into the phone; it was gross. “What else are you going to do, sit in the garage and read your book all night again?”

Billy glared suspiciously out the shop window; there was no one on the street. “I ain’t reading my book!” he lied; he tried to sound real mean so she’d know just how much he wasn’t reading his book. He didn’t need Maxine feeling all sorry for him thinking he was a loser. Books and poetry were for faggots and queers, his old man said. Unless you were reading a book about sports or some shit, Billy guessed.

“Steve said he drove by the garage yesterday and you were sitting by yourself reading your book. I guess he thought you looked really sweet.” Max cackled like a witch.

“The _fuck,_ ” Billy said. “Why the fuck's he driving by my job for?” It was right on Main Street, but still. “He actually obsessed with me now or some shit? I _said_ I wasn’t gonna say shit.”

“He might be!” Max just said, all chipper. “The last like two friends he had went off to college, he doesn’t have anything else to do. Maybe he wants to recruit you for the secret service.” Poor little Harrington, Billy thought. He could hear Steve yelping around in the background through the phone line; he sounded real annoyed and was telling Max she didn’t need to tell Billy his whole damn life story. Max ignored him and she started laughing a lot. “Oh my god, you remember how stupid he looked holding the tomato?”

Billy kinda smiled; he couldn’t help it. Maxine wasn’t looking at him so it didn’t matter anyway. “Jesus, can you just tell me what you’re doing so I can go?”

“We’re going to eat at Hathaway’s, can’t you just come Billy?” Max started moaning and whining; goddamn but she was annoying. She hadn’t begged him to do shit with her since she was like twelve.

“I got better things to do.” He had _East of Eden_ , anyway.

“But I waited for fifteen minutes to use the phoooone here,” Max whined and moaned at him. “Dustin was complaining like the whole tiiiiime.”

“That’s really sad for you, I didn’t ask you to call me to tell me your nightly itinerary.”

“Oh, El’s here though!” Max said, ignoring him being an asshole. She was pretty good at that by now. “Well, she is going to be. Hopper’s dropping her off! Maybe she’ll float a salt shaker for you or something.”

“Yeah right.” Billy guessed Harrington’d told Max about what they’d talked about the other month in his car; he guessed the whole group had a real fun time talking all about him and what a piece of shit he was when he wasn’t there. Anyway he wondered if the kid really could float a salt shaker. July’d been so long ago and he really wasn’t sure what he’d seen anymore.

He thought about it, chewing on his lip for a minute. He felt real fucking weird about going, kinda unsure of himself which rarely happened, even though all that shit with Harrington and the kids had happened way back last year. “Okay, you know what, I am really curious about this mystery girl though.”

“You _have_ to be nice to her,” Max warned him.

“I _am_ nice,” Billy said. “I can be so nice.”

He could sense Maxine rolling her eyes at him. He didn’t see it but he could sense it, after all she did it a lot. “Not like, gross nice. Please don’t be a creep. Don’t flirt with her like Mrs. Wheeler!”

“Mrs. Wheeler is a goddamn saint,” Billy told her. Billy didn’t have a mom anymore so practically any mom that paid attention to you for shit was a saint. He’d been at the Wheelers’ a couple times to get Max; Mrs. Wheeler always invited him in even though Wheeler Jr groaned about it and Nancy’d looked at him once like he was a demon. She wasn’t quite a saint really but she was something else.

“You just want into her panties,” said Max. Underneath her nicey nice act Maxine was a real perv; Billy felt proud for a second.

“I can’t hear you, I’m being real nice, my shirt is unbuttoning itself.”

Max laughed at him. “Are you really gonna come?”

“Don’t make a big fucking deal about it.”

“Really? OKAY, COOL!” Max said like a crazy person, making a big fucking deal about it. Billy hung up on her.

 

Billy got off the phone and fucked around at the shop for a little bit more. He was putting it off; he still wasn’t sure he was gonna go. He wondered if the kids really planned to jump him and drug him and kill him at Hathaway’s; would they really do it? It was a family restaurant after all. He finished the next chapter of _East of Eden_ and marked his place. It didn’t take him too long. He was shit at everything else but he was an okay reader, a real faggot if you asked his old man. A real faggot even if you didn’t ask his old man. Anyway his mom’d taught him when he was young; she’d been all proud of him, reading his little books to her. He put his keys to the garage away and then smoked a cigarette out in his Camaro.

He gave in and went and drove to the diner. Max instantly waved at him all happy, which made him feel even weirder, actually. He came around to the table and sat down. Harrington was across from him and still wearing his stupid sunglasses. Henderson’d must have gone home and it was just Harrington and Sinclair left. And Maxine of course, beaming away next to him like an awful gremlin. “Hey,” Steve said.

Billy ignored him saying hey. “Where is this mystery girl, she is the only reason I came,” he said to Max.

“She’s coming!” Max said. She looked real happy about Mystery Girl Ellen or Jane coming; Billy wondered if they were getting along better. “I think Hopper wants to talk to you too, he was asking about you the other day.”

“Great, that’s really wonderful.” Billy’s favorite thing was law enforcement officers talking to him, especially high-ranking sheriffs.

“He’s probably just gonna say like twelve words to you and then grunt a lot and smoke three cigarettes,” Steve said.

Billy guessed he could handle that. “So what is her name anyway, the kid?” Billy asked; he was really on his best behavior. “El or Jane or whatever?”

Everyone looked at him kind of weird, then they all looked at each other kind of weird. Harrington looked annoyed. “I knew you didn’t tell him shit!” he said to Max.

Max made a face at him. “It’s only been like a week! Our dad’s been back so we’ve been trying not to be home!”

“Max,” Billy said. He thought it was real great that she was apparently telling everything about Billy’s father to Harrington and Sinclair and everyone else in the damn town.

“Yes?” Max was stuffing a whole goddamn dinner roll in her mouth.

“Her name is Eleven,” Steve told him. “I told you that already!”

Billy stared at him. “The fuck you mean her name’s Eleven.”

“Guys! We are _really_ still not supposed to talk about this stuff, can you guys tell him all this shit later?” Sinclair demanded.

“Fine.” Steve looked all sulky for some reason. “Look, her real name’s Jane, but she likes to be called El.”

“So … not named Eleven, then.”

“No, she’s – “ Sinclair glared severely; Steve made a face at him. “I’ll tell you later, okay?”

“You don’t even know all about it!” Lucas said.

“Okay, well, apparently Max is off sucking your face all the time and can’t talk to her own brother for two seconds – “

Max made a face at Steve; she looked real great because she still had the whole dinner roll puffing up her cheeks. “He’s not my brother!”

“Okay okay okay, shut the fuck up!” Billy said. He didn’t need the gross image of Max and Sinclair kissing to invade his mind and mentally scar him. “I can’t believe you faggots let me go around calling her Ellen for eight months.” Steve started laughing for some reason.

They went up and ordered their food: Max got her usual gross chicken fingers and fries and a huge milkshake. “Who exactly is paying for you, now?” Billy asked. Max gave him her shit-eating smile. “Wow!” Billy said to her with false cheer. “Real cute, found out the real reason why you wanted me to tag along with you guys.” Max grinned at him even more; she was a fucking piece of work.

“I can pay for her,” Harrington said from behind them. He’d pushed his sunglasses up and he had big dark circles under his eyes. He looked real tired and washed out; he kinda looked like he’d been doing all the coke in town. He was totally a drug dealer and was clearly hiding his stash. Even all fucked up he still looked like a pretty boy though.

“I got her.” Billy didn’t need Harrington paying for his sister when Billy was right there for her to suck his money up or whatever.

Back at the table Billy felt pretty bored; Maxine was honestly okay and all sometimes but she still wasn’t really his idea of scintillating company. She and Sinclair were talking about how _Star Wars_ was going to be on TV on Sunday night; it was the first time it’d been on TV apparently and it was some kinda big deal.

“Billy took me to see _Return of the Jedi_ when it came out,” Max informed the table. That’d been like three or four years ago and she’d been pretty young; Billy had taken her along with one of his girlfriends. Not Tracey, the one before her. Actually Tracey’d really been his only girlfriend if you wanted the truth, the only real one. She’d been the only one he ever really talked to about shit or was kind of nice to like a boyfriend should be. Until he hadn’t been nice anymore.

Harrington looked surprised. “You like _Star Wars?_ ”

“Everyone likes _Star Wars,_ dipshit,” Billy said. He didn’t want to think about Tracey.

Sinclair was grinning. “You know, Steve has two – “

“NOPE,” Steve said. “No, you are not doing that to me, that is sensitive information and I should not have told you anything!”

“Oh come on, it’s just your stupid – “

“No! Shut your mouth!”

Billy was feeling pretty okay. “Steve has two what?” He turned to Max. “Do you know?” Max was grinning too.

“Steve has two nothings, Steve has nothing,” Harrington was saying. He flipped his sunglasses back on his face like a dramatic bitch. Then the diner door opened and that sheriff Hopper came in with Eleven or Jane or whatever the fucking hell he’d named his daughter. Elijane, sounded like El-or-Jane, Billy was sticking with that.

Hopper came up to the table and looked around at them with his usual severe expression. His gaze fell on Steve and then Billy. “Hargrove and Harrington, ain’t that too cute,” he said.

“Is it?” Billy said. Max was making a face at him like he should shut up.

Hopper just stared down at him. He had his hand on the little kid’s shoulder. She was wearing a big baggy sweatshirt and she seemed real small. Hopper turned to the kid and looked at her. “You’ve got one hour and then I’m coming back,” he said: his whole voice changed and he didn’t sound like the sheriff anymore. “You gonna be okay?”

Elijane nodded. Hopper gave Billy a final look and walked out back to his truck. Elijane (El-or-Jane) sat down next to Max – they’d switched seats getting food and now Billy was stuck sitting next to Harrington – and Max and Sinclair started squawking away to her about what they’d did in school today. Billy guessed she didn’t go to regular school or something; maybe the big secret was she was actually retarded. That was one of his theories. But then he thought about her sitting in the water with the blood and tears on her face and felt bad for thinking that.

The kids talked for a while; Billy was real aware of Harrington’s presence next to him, not saying much. Then Elijane turned her head and looked up at him with her weird big eyes. “Hi. Billy,” she said after a whole thirty seconds of staring at him. She talked so fucking weird.

“Hey kid,” he said. He wanted to say, _nice to see ya not sitting in a fucking creek._ He didn’t, though.

Harrington and Sinclair and Max were all staring at him; probably they thought he was gonna be a huge asshole to the kid or something. It made him feel annoyed. He could be nice; he could be so nice.

Elijane reached out and tapped his arm that was laying all awkward on the table. “New plaster.”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, my new cast.”

She was still staring at him with her weird eyes. “You got hurt?” she said. “That night.”

Billy flexed his arm. “Nah, it’s not bad.”

“I fell on him,” Steve put in all eloquently.

“He’s compact,” Billy said.

“Compact,” Elijane repeated slowly. She nodded real serious.

“Like a trash can,” Billy said.

“Like a trash can.”

“Fuck you,” Steve said. Then he said to El, “Don’t say that.” She was smiling.

Max and Sinclair got up to get even more goddamn food; El-or-Jane stood up to let them out of the booth and then sat back down. She looked at Billy some more. Billy looked back at her some more.

“Hey kid,” he said confidentially. “Can you make the salt shaker fly for me?”

“Billy! The hell!” Steve said. He instantly looked like _Mr. Mom_ again.

“What? I want to see her do it!”

Harrington shook his head at him; even with the sunglasses Billy could sense he was rolling his eyes. “Don’t make the salt shaker fly,” he told El-or-Jane.

Elijane ignored Harrington, just like everybody should. She looked around all covertly; she was scoping out the scene. Jesus she was gonna make the salt shaker fly. Billy looked around too. Nobody was paying attention to them. He widened his eyes all pretty at the kid and batted his lashes at her. He was being real nice. Elijane turned one corner of her mouth up at him and then lowered her gaze to the table. The salt shaker and the pepper shaker swirled around the table in a little figure-eight.

“HOOOOOOLY SHIT!” Billy yelled his head off like a little kid. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, THAT IS SOME STEPHEN FUCKING KING SHIT!”

Harrington started laughing at him. “Man, shut the hell up!”

“Holy shit,” Billy said again. He felt real gleeful; he felt real wired up in two seconds. Honestly he was pretty sure the brat pack couldn’t have rigged the whole goddamn diner. It was just a salt and pepper shaker she’d moved but it was insane; people couldn’t do that in real life. Billy leaned forward against the table and grinned at the kid. He was sitting here across from a baby Carrie White!

“I told you,” Harrington said.

“Holy shit,” Billy said for a third time. He was real excited; he banged his cast against the table twice. He kept looking at El-or-Jane. “Kid. That is so cool, how did you do that? Can you move bigger shit?” Elijane nodded. “Oh my god! Fucking float Harrington into that trash can where he belongs!”

“You are such a piece of shit,” Steve said. He still sounded like he was laughing though. The kid was looking at Billy and that corner of her mouth turned up again.

Max and Sinclair were dashing back to the table looking all harried with their french fries. Max had a second giant damn milkshake. “ _Why_ are you flipping out?” Sinclair demanded. He looked real menacing as he slid his fries onto the table. He looked at El-or-Jane. Eleven-or-Jane, the fuck. “El, did he make you do something?”

“He didn’t make me do something,” Elijane said. She wasn’t quite lying; he hadn’t made her do anything. She’d done it herself! Because she was fucking telekinetic!! She was goddamn Carrie White!!

Jesus Christ! Billy leaned back and looked at her in reverence; he stole a couple of Max’s fries. El-or-Jane took some too. She was still watching Billy and he gave her a big grin. Goddamn if he wasn’t pretty sure he was halfway in love with her, she didn’t even talk that much like a normal annoying girl. If she could really put Harrington into a trash can he’d fucking drive her to Mexico and marry her. She could be his child bride; she could float Harrington into a trash can in a million different states. He got real happy thinking of Harrington in a trash can with a banana peel on his head like in a damn cartoon. “Kid, you want a soda or something?” Billy asked her. He was so damn jazzed up and Max was spending all his fucking money anyway. “You want some fries or something?”

Elijane looked at him with her huge eyes again. She looked real young; she looked so much younger than Max and Sinclair and the rest of the creepy kid club. Even though he was so jazzed up it made him feel kind of weird. After a million years of looking at him she said, “Okay.”

Billy got up with her and took her over to the counter to order. He could feel Harrington and Max and Sinclair all staring at him; man they were pieces of work. The girl at the counter asked Elijane what she wanted and Elijane just stared back at her so Billy leaned on the counter real cute and ordered for her. He and Elijane walked back to the table with her soda and fries. She ate her food so weird too: she ate real fast and also real careful like it was her last meal or something.

A couple minutes later the sheriff pulled back up in his truck. He didn’t even get out of it but Elijane stood up right away. She looked around at them all and reached into her grubby sweatshirt pocket to pull out a few dollars.

“No, no, no, we got you, kid,” Billy said. He was still in a thrall over her really. Goddamn.

“Bye El,” said Max and Sinclair. “Thanks for coming out.”

Elijane left. Billy watched her walk out. “Goddamn Carrie White,” he whispered, shaking his head.

Harrington laughed at him again. Sinclair was making a face. “ _What?_ ” he said. “Seriously, did you make her do something?”

“I didn’t make her do nothing!” Billy said. “She did it all herself!”

Sinclair rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Mike is gonna kill you.”

Ha! Billy thought about Wheeler Jr, the amazing stick boy, killing anyone. Sinclair was real funny! “What is he, her keeper?” Billy asked.

“It was just a little bit of mind power, no one saw,” Steve said. He was sticking up for Billy; it was even crazier than the salt and pepper shakers flying around.

Sinclair rolled his eyes again. “Okay, okay, whatever,” he said to Billy. “So now you really know. We have to keep it a secret, what she can do. We’re not supposed to – “

“Okay okay okay, no more emotional speeches please, I’m still drained from last week.” He wondered if this meant he was really in the Creepy Kid Club now. Sinclair rolled his eyes at him; he stopped looking all serious and then he and Max started talking about their regular kid stuff again. Billy looked down at the dumb shit Max’d drawn on his cast and thought about the kid, Elijane, El-or-Jane. Eleven. The fuck her name was Eleven. He thought about her sitting in the river all bloody; she’d looked a lot better this time.

They all fucked around the dinner for about as late as they could; around ten-thirty Billy figured he really ought to be getting Max home, mostly for Susan’s sake. She was a worrier; she didn’t have to be, though, because Maxine’s friend was a goddamn Stephen King book come to life!

He got all jazzed up thinking about it again. He was so jazzed up he even said bye to Harrington as they were leaving. Maxine seemed real happy with him; she slugged him in the shoulder and turned up the radio. Def Leppard was on playing ‘Photograph’ and Billy turned it up even more and sped them home.

* * *

 

The rest of the week went by and the weekend too; it was the same shit as always. Neil was still home and he made Max and Billy stay home all Saturday and help Susan clean the house, then they all had a lovely tense dinner together. Max wanted to go to the Wheelers’ after; she told Billy that Elijane wasn’t going to be there so Billy didn’t bother with going in.

He drove around for a couple hours til he went back to get Max at ten. It was pretty fuckin’ lame to be all by himself, but he usually was nowadays. Anyway he loved driving and turning up his music as loud as it could go. He could get up to about ninety on the state roads here. It was the one good thing about living in bumfuck nowhere; no one was ever on the roads after nine.

Sunday was more of the same and goddamn if he wasn’t bored out of his skull. He wondered if he could convince Hank to start opening the shop up on weekends; he needed shit to do. He worked out for a long time and then Max played some basketball with him out in the yard. She was pretty good for a bratty little girl but he couldn’t really get too aggressive with her or knock her about too much. Once five o’clock hit Susan had to go into work; she did some filing for a little law company and she had real weird hours sometimes. Her sister’d gotten her the job when they’d moved out here. She gave Billy some money to get dinner for himself and Max even though Billy had his own money; they decided to get a pizza. Neil was in the living room watching the baseball game and Billy had a feeling the Angels were gonna lose again and his dad was gonna lose his shit. If it got really bad he and Max could eat their pizza out in the backyard like they were in Cub Scouts or some shit. They had used to do that sometimes back in Cali, when Max’d been a little kid and before everything went to total shit. Neil had been pretty nice for the first year or so after he and Susan’d got hitched but sometimes it was easier to go eat outside and not deal with him.

There were two pizza joints in town aside from the diner. Rino’s had the best and was more of a sit-down place; Mike’s was good for takeout. Max told him what he guessed she thought was a real cute story about there being confusion between Mike’s the pizza place and Wheeler Jr’s house: apparently Henderson was always going to Mike’s the pizza place instead and then would get all mad and be yelling and radioing for eighty years when no one else showed up. The kid was a lost cause.

They went to Rino’s to order their pizza and hung out by the counter waiting for it. Some faggy new song by Eddie Money was playing; it was definitely POWER 99 and Billy lamented his life. Then he looked up and lamented his life even more: Steve Harrington was sitting at a booth with his parents and yucking it up. Of course Harrington would have to be there. Billy stood there looking at him and feeling annoyed. “Anticipation is running through me!!” sang fucking Eddie Money. “Let’s find the key and turn this engine on!!” Steve had his stupid fucking sunglasses on again. Then he looked up at Billy and kind of waved at him. Billy wondered how long he’d been noticing Billy looking at him.

Maxine popped up next to him; she’d gone off to the quarter machines and was chomping on a huge jawbreaker like a gross gremlin child. She waved back at Steve. “Look, it’s your secret agent man!” she said and cackled like a witch again. She thought she was a real laugh riot. She hurried over to Steve and his parents to say hi. Billy got their pizza and felt like a huge giant asshole just standing there and holding the box, looking at Steve Harrington while some queer ass pop song played in the background. “Take me home tonight!” sang Eddie Money. “I don’t want to let you go ‘til you see the light!”

Eventually he rolled his eyes and headed over too; Maxine didn’t look like she was coming back anytime soon. Since Harrington was there with his parents Billy turned on the charm. “Hey there, Stevie,” he said. “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Harrington.”

Steve’s parents said hi to him and Steve grinned at him even though Billy’d just called him Stevie. Billy wondered if Harrington’s parents knew that he’d beat the holy hell out of their kid last year. “You guys excited for Star Wars?” Steve asked.

Max instantly looked depressed. She’d been planning on going over to Sinclair’s to watch it but the plans had changed at the last minute; Billy’d had to hear the whole damn story like three times as they’d been playing basketball earlier. Sinclair’s aunt had lupus or some shit and his parents’d decided to go and visit her yesterday. Even so Billy’d already forgotten about the movie being on TV. He couldn’t believe Harrington had remembered it and mentioned it to them right away. “We can’t watch it, our dad’s home and he’s watching the baseball game,” Max told him. Billy rolled his eyes at her; she said _we_ like he was gonna watch _Star Wars_ with her.

Harrington looked all upset on their behalf. Apparently it was some kinda crime to not be able to watch _Star Wars_ on the TV. “Hey, you guys can come over and watch it at my house if you want,” he said.

Pretty much the last thing in the universe that Billy wanted to do was go to Steve Harrington’s house and watch _Star Wars_ with him and his kid stepsister. The parents were still there so he was still turning the charm on, though. “Oh, no, no man, we don’t wanna bother you while you’re eating dinner.”

“I’m done eating.” Harrington was already standing up and getting out of the booth. “We were going to go to the country club after this, I don’t have to go though.”

Max and Billy exchanged a quick look; of course he’d been going to go to the fuckin’ country club. Billy wondered what that kinda life was like. Then Max’s look turned into an annoying one. “Can we go with him?” she asked. She looked like a goddamn puppy or some shit.

Still pretty much the last thing Billy wanted to do was go to Harrington’s house and watch _Star Wars_. Max was looking at him all eager though; Harrington’s parents were looking at him too and so was Harrington. Billy felt real put on the spot. Damn, it wasn’t like he and Max had shit else to do. “Fine I guess if you want,” he said, real annoyed.

Max bounced twice in joy. She took the pizza box from him and followed Billy and Harrington out to their cars. “You guys can just follow me, I only live like five minutes away,” Harrington said. Billy and Max exchanged another look; five minutes away was the real ritzy part of town. What counted as ritzy in Hawkins, anyway.

They followed Harrington to his house. It was real fancy; it was even fancier than the Wheeler’s house. His neighbors were all crazy far away and you could probably fit like three of Billy’s house in the Harringtons’. He was pretty sure there was a damn pool in the backyard. Steve let them in and Max and Billy looked around. In about three seconds Billy saw a bunch of furniture and a rug that probably cost more than his and Maxine’s lives put together.

Harrington led them into the living room and sat down on one of the couches that cost more than Billy and Max’s lives. “Can I eat some of your pizza?” he asked even though he’d just fucking ate. Clearly this whole thing was just a ploy for Harrington to scarf down their whole pizza. Max handed the box over to him and she sat down next to Steve. Billy had no choice but to sit down too on the other side of him.

Harrington opened up their pizza box and then looked horrified. “What the hell is this?” he said.

“It’s a white pizza,” Max told him. “You never had one?”

Harrington looked more horrified. He actually poked at their pizza like a goddamn animal. “Where’s all the sauce?” he asked in a tone of horror. “I guess this is like some of your crazy hippie California shit.”

Max and Billy exchanged another look over him. “Man, it’s right on the menu,” Billy said.

Harrington was already eating their pizza anyway like a fucking savage. He started acting like he was choking on it. “Oh my god, what the fuck is this, broccoli?”

Jesus Christ he was annoying; he was definitely the most annoying person on the planet. Maxine snatched the pizza box back from him. “Stop hogging it!” she said. Harrington laughed at them and got up to get drinks. He had actual Cokes, not just the store brand like Susan bought and everybody else’s parents bought. Then they watched _Star Wars_ and told Billy the scoop on Elijane. The scoop was kind of a lot; it was a crazy goddamn story.

It started because Steve asked him if Hopper’d came and talked to him yet. Max gave him a kind of annoyed look; R2-D2 was beeping off on his search for Obi-Wan. Billy felt real glad that Harrington’d invited them over to watch a movie and then just wanted to chatter through it. He said, “No, I ain’t seen him.” He was pretty sure that Hopper knew he worked at the garage; he knew where to go to come find him. “I guess he knows I’m not going to squeal on his daughter.” For being goddamn Carrie White.

Harrington leaned over look at Billy all crazy. He didn’t need to get so close. “She’s not really his daughter,” he said. Max rolled her eyes at Steve being dramatic.

“What do you mean, she’s not his daughter?” Billy said. “She adopted?” He thought about it. “Shit, did he kidnap her?” Max rolled her eyes at him too.

“Jesus, how have you not told him anything?” Steve demanded. “You didn’t have any questions after you saw her at the diner last week?” Billy rolled his eyes too; Def Leppard had been on the radio. He didn’t expect Harrington to understand. Max was an annoying brat but he’d gotten her into his music after all. “Do you guys actually communicate at your house at all? Do you even talk to each other?”

“Not really,” said Billy.

“Mostly we watch cartoons,” Max said. _Thunder Cats_ had been some real wild shit this week.

Harrington rolled his eyes. “Jesus,” he said again. “Okay, man, I mean, nevermind I guess, do you even care?”

“Sure I care,” Billy said. He really did. He wanted to hear the whole scoop on the kid; he needed to know everything and make her his partner in crime. Jesus he bet she could steal him so many smokes. She could float them right out of the store. “No, seriously, I have been really curious, tell me the shit.”

Harrington told him the shit. It was real crazy shit.

“Okay, so you know that old power company out in the woods? Off of route 34? The Hawkins Lab? The energy plant??”

“Oh, sure, of course. I spend all my free time there out in the woods in abandoned buildings.”

Harrington rolled his eyes at him again. God he was a sulky bitch. “A lot of people go out around there drinking, I thought you might have gone with your best buddy Tommy.”

“I guess I’m not popular enough.”

“Guys, come on!” Max whined. She was real into _Star Wars_.

“Okay okay.” Steve lowered his voice a little and leaned in all close to Billy; Jesus he didn’t need to get that fucking close. “Well, you know it’s closed down now. Because of … “ Steve made a face. “I don’t know if you’ve heard. What happened to Barbara Holland.”

“Yeah, sure,” Billy said. He remembered seeing it in all the papers last year. Some girl had died out there the last year, before he and Max had moved to Hawkins. It was some kinda gas leak or fume leak and it had been a big thing when all the news about what happened had came out. They’d tried to cover it up or something; she’d been missing for a long time.

“You know she … died near my house.” Harrington was looking at him all crazy. “She died at a party I was having.”

“Really?” Maxine actually turned her face away from the TV screen. She was eating like two slices of pizza and she looked great. “I didn’t know that part.”

“Yeah … yeah. It was my party. It was my party.” Harrington looked so weird. He had those big circles under his eyes again, and in the flickering light from the TV he looked real pale. Then he said, “Anyway, it’s not really a power company. It’s like a science lab, the government runs it. Ran it. That’s where she’s from, El-or-Jane. She lived at the lab.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “What, her parents die in the gas leak too?”

“She doesn’t have parents,” Max told him. “Aside from Hopper now I guess.”

“She lived at the lab, she grew up there,” Harrington said.

“I don’t get you,” Billy said. They were spinning him some kinda crazy tale; he could already tell. He thought they were fucking with him again but he’d already seen the kid move shit and you couldn’t fake that.

“They, like, kept her at that lab. Like she was _prisoner_ there?” Harrington told him like he was dumb. Because that was such a normal sentence that you said to people all the time. “Her name’s Eleven like number eleven, like experiment eleven? That’s why she can move shit with her mind. She broke out of the lab one day and that’s when Mike and Dustin and Lucas found her.”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Billy said. El-or-Jane was already some Stephen King shit, but this was some goddamn _Firestarter_ shit. She broke out of the lab. Okay.

“No, nope,” Steve said. “Well at least I don’t think I’m fucking kidding you, I wasn’t really around for that shit. Since I was so busy partying and getting girls killed, you know.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said.

“This all happened like two years ago; I really only know all the shit from what Dustin and Mike have told me in five minutes like I should be up to speed on everything.”

“Yeah, I really only know everything too from Lucas telling me everything in five minutes and then acting like I should be up to speed,” Max said.

Billy glared at Steve, then he turned and glared at Max. “You’re fucking with me,” he said, looking around at both of them. “This is real cute, I don’t know why you’re fucking with me. I already saw her move shit, you guys giving me LSD or something?”

“Yeah right, if I could get my hands on that I wouldn’t waste it on you,” Harrington scoffed. “You wanted to know about her, and I’m telling you. I’m telling you why it’s important that you don’t say anything to anyone. It’s … she’s … look, I wasn’t there for it.”

“Me either,” put in Max.

“But it’s really fucked up,” Steve said. “I feel really bad for the kid, I didn’t believe it either. But, I mean, I saw … you saw what she can do.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. He’d seen.

“After she got out I guess all these people were after her. Mike told me he hid her for a while, it was this whole crazy story.”

“What people?” He still remembered Max and Sinclair screaming their heads off.

“I don’t _know!_ ” Steve snapped. “The FBI, the CIA, your guess is as good as mine, I told you I wasn’t there for half the shit. Apparently she was missing for a long time, but it turned out that the Sheriff was hiding her. So now she’s his kid.”

“That makes no goddamn sense,” Billy said.

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said. He said again, “Welcome to Hawkins!”

“Her nose bleeds when she moves really heavy stuff,” Max told him. He’d been about to ask why she’d been all bloody. “Like when you saw her and freaked out? The guys are like used to it, but it is pretty scary.”

“I wasn’t _scared,_ Maxine,” Billy said.

Max ignored him. She said, “But we don’t know what she could have moved that would’ve made her bleed that much. She can do way more than move salt shakers! Last year, when those things – “

“Don’t tell him about that!” Harrington said right away. He looked really crazy again. “He won’t believe it anyway.”

“What won’t I believe?” Billy said. They were hiding some shit or they were fucking with him again.

“It’s over now anyway,” Harrington said. “Last year when you beat my ass, that was the first time I ever even got stuck babysitting these brats. That’s what we were doing, I mean. There was … “

“The demodogs,” Max supplied.

“ _What?_ ” Billy said. If there was some cool-ass pack of dogs in the woods, he wanted to know about it. “That shit you were all scared of screaming your head off about?”

Steve made a face. “I wasn’t _scared!_  " he said too. "Never, nevermind! Look, we were – looking for Eleven when you found us and went crazy. Or Jane. Kind of. Or whatever the fuck you want to call her.”

Billy decided to let it slide for now and he didn’t feel like mentioning when he’d beat Harrington’s ass. “Okay, well, what does she want to be called?”

“We just call her El,” Max said. “I mean, _I_ don’t call her anything, really. She doesn’t talk to me too much. The other night was the first time I’ve ever really hung out with her when Mike wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, me too, honestly,” Harrington said.

“Okay,” Billy said. He was still calling her Elijane, he decided. He leaned back on the couch and stared at the screen; he needed to wrap his head around this shit. It sounded insane and there was no way it could be real. But he thought about the kid sitting all by herself bleeding in the creek and that weird black car that’d been following them. Thought about her moving the salt shakers and how she’d acted when she’d been out with them, like she’d barely ever been out to eat before in her life. He thought it all had to be true. “This is still some Stephen King shit,” he said.

Harrington laughed again; Billy guessed he thought Billy was real cute with his horror movie knowledge. “Yeah, I know, right?”

“Fuck,” Billy said. He looked over at Max; she was already watching the TV again. Darth Vader was about to take his mask off and tell Luke that he was his father. “I need a goddamn cigarette.”

He went outside and Harrington followed him. He sat down on the front steps; after a moment Steve sat down next to him. It was so dark out in Harrington’s yard. “Can I bum one of those off of you?” he asked Billy.

Billy glowered at him; he only had like five left. He handed one over to Harrington anyway. He smoked a whole cigarette and neither of them talked. Billy was still trying to wrap his mind around the origin story of El-or-Jane. Part of him wished that Harrington and Max were fucking with him but he knew they weren’t; he knew what Maxine looked like when she told a lie. She’d told a lot. He couldn’t believe Elijane’d grown up in a lab; he didn’t understand it. He had a million questions but he was too freaked out to ask them, really.

Harrington was still just sitting next to him and holding his cigarette; Billy wondered if he needed a light. He also felt pretty goddamn weird sitting next to Harrington out on the porch steps of his house. There was no reason for him to be here, not really. It had been bothering him all goddamn night. He said, “Stevie, why the fuck am I at your house?”

Harrington looked at him like he was a crazy person. “Um, so we could watch _Star Wars?_ ” he said all slow like Billy was stupid. “And I wanted to tell you about El.”

Billy lit another cigarette. He took a real big drag and held it in for a long time before he exhaled. “That ain’t what I mean,” he said, “and you know it.” Harrington made a little face at him; Billy was pretty sure he knew it. “I mean why the fuck am I watching _Star Wars_ at your house.”

Harrington was still looking at him like he was a crazy person. “I wanted to talk to you about El?” He said it almost like a question.

“Yeah, okay.” Billy smoked his cigarette. He said, “Why’d you want to tell me about El? I already told you I wasn’t gonna say anything. You didn’t have to tell me shit.”

“Look, I just – “

“Why’d you follow me around for half the fucking summer?” Billy demanded. “Why you driving around my job and looking at me? Why’d you ask Maxine about my old man? Why’d you ask me to go and get food with you, why’m I at your house, why’re you sitting out here with me right now holding one of my damn cigarettes?”

He was pretty sure he knew why; Max’d basically said it to him on the phone earlier when she’d been laaghing her ass off. But he wanted to hear Harrington say it. He wanted to hear him to say it before Billy’d let himself get all faggy again thinking maybe Harrington wasn’t the most goddamn annoying person in the universe.

Harrington was making a real great face; he was looking like he was smelled cow shit again. “Okay, Jesus! Can you, could you shut the hell up? You’re making me sound real gay for you, it’s not like that.” Billy managed not to make a comment. Steve was still making a face. “Look, I … I think everyone deserves a second chance, okay?”

“That is so goddamn adorable, you really have a heart of gold.”

“Oh my god, seriously, fucking shut up for two seconds?” Harrington was rolling his eyes. “We didn’t know each other last year, okay? And you were a real fucking asshole to me, okay, but you haven’t done shit to me since. It’s not like I’ve never – never done something fucked up to someone else. And, like, okay, I was like … I was surprised you even – showed up in the woods last month with Max and Lucas. I didn’t think you gave a shit about what Max did. And then – you know, before, when we were talking in my car – ”

“Oh, right! You mean, ah, when we both so passionately declared our mutual hatred for each other?” Billy reminded him. And Billy’d grabbed his face and told him he was too goddamn pretty, Billy didn’t remind him.

Harrington was rolling his eyes again. Pretty soon they were gonna roll right out of his head, Billy figured. “Yeah. Yeah, that. And you accused me of having a pedo ring?” He held up his hand when Billy opened his mouth. “Which, again, I _don’t_ , you are such a gross asshole. But I didn’t think you were – I mean, I thought you were just being a fucking asshole that night. I didn’t think you were actually worried about Max or something back then.”

“Shut the _fuck up_ , do you want her to fucking hear you?” Billy demanded. Steve grinned at him like he was being funny but he wasn’t. Maxine was like ten feet away watching TV; if she really knew that Billy maybe didn’t think she was for shit all the time, she’d become downright insufferable. She was already trying to get her grubby paws on his record player all the damn time. “I was really being a fucking asshole back then,” he told Harrington. It was mostly the truth after all.

“Okay, sure, whatever,” Steve said. “I just mean – I mean, Christ, I did break your arm again after all. I do owe you. I just … I don’t know, I didn’t fucking … hate being stuck with you all night, all right? I mean, I hated it at the time, but you know, whatever. I really did enjoy talking about killing those damn kids with you. And you were really nice to El last week, I was surprised.”

“I can be fuckin’ nice,” Billy said, real grumpy. Elijane was basically a fucking superhero; she was a goddamn Stephen King protagonist, and she was a damn little kid also, of course he was going to be nice.

“I’m not sure about that.” Harrington was smiling at him again. “Look, all three of my remaining friends graduated and I’m stuck here working with my dad until I decide what the fuck I want to do with my life. I just thought – I don’t know, maybe it’d be cool to hang out with someone that wasn’t a fucking annoying fourteen year old. Okay?”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Okay, so?” Harrington was staring at him; his brows were all drawn down and he had a little wrinkle of worry or something between his eyebrows. “So what do you say?” he said.

Billy smoked his cigarette. He blew some smoke out and licked his lips. “I said okay,” he said finally.

“Okay,” Steve said for a second time. He was still staring at Billy and he still had the eyebrow wrinkle. “So … ?“

“So do you need a fucking light or what?”

“Oh.” Steve stared at him blankly. Then he said. “Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” He leaned over and Billy flicked his lighter for him and lit his cigarette. They were real close for a second. Then they just sat there together, smoking and not talking.

Billy inhaled for a long time again, then he let it out. The smoke billowed out into the night. He thought about it. He wasn’t looking at Steve. He said, “Fucking just about lost my mind when I found out Luke and Leia were brother and sister.”

Harrington stared at him and then he grinned real big. “Yeah, me too,” he said. “I really dig her and Han though.”

“Yeah, they’re cool.” They were real romantic, honestly. _I love you. I know._ Jesus it was good.

“I still can’t believe you like _Star Wars,_ ” Harrington said. “They are seriously my favorite movies.”

“That does not surprise me about you,” Billy said.

* * *

 

The whole next week after he and Max had hung out with Steve sucked major ass. Billy about expected it; usually after something good happened to him everything instantly turned to shit. It like a real fun game that the universe played with him.

Not that Harrington wanting to be friends with him or whatever was a good thing. It was just a thing. It was no skin off of Billy’s back; Harrington could do what he wanted. Billy didn’t even see him for practically a whole goddamn week after.

It wasn’t major shit that happened; it was just Billy being a goddamn little bitch or something. Monday Max left early for school on her board and Billy woke up to a lovely round of his dad screaming his head off at Susan. Really he didn’t scream at Susan that much but it was becoming a more frequent thing since the move to Hawkins. Billy could see the shift happening. The move to the small town had been Billy and Max’s fault and it made Billy feel like total shit even though Susan was closer to her sister now or whatever. Billy’d gotten up and gotten dressed in two seconds and Susan had been in the kitchen crying over a bunch of pancakes that had gotten knocked to the floor. Billy’s old man had already left for work.

Billy helped Susan picked up broken pieces of the plate and Susan cried into her second best dish towel. He was trying real hard not to look at her; she wasn’t his goddamn mom or some shit. “I’m sorry, Billy,” she said, all crying and wringing the dish towel at him. “These were supposed to be for you and Max; you can just go on to school.” She definitely wasn’t his mom but goddamn if he didn’t feel like total shit.

Tuesday he went to school and spectacularly failed his first math quiz; math was for shit but it was just another goddamn reminder of how stupid he was. Wednesday he was flirting with Rachel Evangelista in study hall when fucking Henderson came up to him and started babbling on and making his Wookie noises. Henderson’d never came up to him in school before and Billy and Rachel both looked at him like he had the plague. Rachel was edging away from the table and told Billy, “I guess I’ll just see you later or whatever.”

She’d been making eyes at him since last year and Billy had decided he was going to get it in with her. She was pretty fucking stupid and he didn’t really give a shit about her but he figured it was about time he got over Tracey and his bullshit and started talking to some girls again. He shouldn’t be sitting in the shop all the time reading his book like a faggot, wondering if Steve Harrington was gonna drive by and look at him for two seconds.

Billy leaned over on the table and closed his eyes to count to ten before he looked back up at Henderson. The counting thing didn’t work as well when he used it on Henderson; he was still pissed the fuck off. “Man. What. The fuck. Are you doing.”

“Is that girl a junior or a senior, she is pretty hot,” Henderson said. He made the Wookie noise again; Billy snarled. “Wow, she looks really good in that sweater. Listen, do you want to go to the arcade tonight? It’s just going to be me and Steve and he said to ask you – “

Jesus fucking Christ. Billy guessed this was the curse of being in the Creepy Kid Club; it was the price of thinking little Elijane was a motherfucking badass and being all nicey nice and shit to Maxine so she’d let him see the kid again. He couldn’t believe Dustin had just walked up to him like they were fucking friends. Even Max knew better than to talk to him at school. “HENDERSON, YOU ARE FUCKING ON DANGEROUS GROUND HERE,” he said. He swept his arms across the table and knocked all of Henderson’s books off of it.

“Okay, okay, okay, Jesus Christ!” Henderson was lisping and reaching down to grab his books like he was on autopilot; probably he was pretty used to people fucking screaming at him and knocking his shit everywhere. He didn’t even look that scared of Billy. “Son of a bitch, you broke my pencil! So is that a no to the arcade because I guess I have to somehow tell Steve you’re not – “

“YES IT’S A NO TO THE ARCADE, YOU STUPID FUCK!” Billy roared and got detention for himself and Henderson too. He was late to work at the shop and he was pissed the hell off about it. Hank was a fat fuck but he was probably the best boss Billy’d had; Billy didn’t need Hank thinking he was irresponsible. He owed a lot of money to his dad now and he was never gonna pay it off. He was gonna be stuck in Hawkins forever paying off money to his dad.

Hank didn’t even seem to notice that Billy was late but Billy was still pissed off about it. Tommy Hall came in and bothered him and then Billy was _real_ pissed off. Tommy Hall was drunk off his ass at 4pm and usually Billy’d appreciate that kinda style but not when he was at fucking work. He told Tommy he didn’t have time for his bullshit and then when Tommy wouldn’t leave Billy had to literally grab him and manhandle and shove him out of the shop. It made his broken arm hurt real bad but it felt nice to push someone around again. “You’re for shit, man!” Tommy yelled. Billy could care less. He went in the back and worked on the Pontiac with Hank for two hours until he felt kind of okay again. Kind of okay but barely.

When he got home it was past eight and he could hear Max in her room, listening to her shitty records. He hoped she hadn’t gone into his room again and made off with his again; it was his mom’s fancy old one and it was one of the few things of hers Neil hadn’t sold off two seconds after they’d put her in the ground. He dug around in the fridge; they had jack-shit as usual.

Susan had left a note on the freezer saying that Neil’d taken her out to dinner and a movie and they’d be back home around ten. Billy guessed Neil was trying to make up for screaming his head off and making Susan drop her pancakes everywhere. Neil had a fucking temper but the thing about him was that he could act real nicey nice sometimes too; he could make you forget he had a temper and that you had to be careful. He even made Billy forget sometimes. Not lately but sometimes.

Max came out of her room as Billy was coming out of the kitchen; she was giggling and talking and throwing her hair over her shoulder. Sinclair was behind her and she was dragging him by his arm. They were both laughing. Max looked up when she saw Billy coming out of the kitchen. “Hey Billy!” she said.

Billy stared at her; he guessed he’d forgotten how goddamn stupid Max was. He thought she’d been learning but apparently not. He looked at Sinclair and instantly got a vision of his dad coming home early and going ballistic on them. Not just him and Max but Sinclair too. “Nope, no way, uh-uh,” he said. “Maxine, get your fucking boyfriend out of this house, he cannot be here.”

Max’s face clouded over instantly and she scowled at him. “God, okay! Don’t be a jerk!” she said.

Billy wasn’t being a jerk; Max was being an idiot. He crossed the room and slammed his hands down on Sinclair and started frog-marching him to the front door. “Let’s go, let’s fucking go, you cannot fucking be here man, you are not allowed in my goddamn house, Midnight.”

Sinclair was letting him frog-march him out; he wasn’t struggling too much because maybe he actually had brains and understood that Billy was way bigger than him. “Jesus, man, let me go! I’m going, I’m going!”

“Little faster, kid.” Billy grabbed the collar of Sinclair’s shirt and wrenched him around the front door.

Max was storming after them and she stood there clenching her fists like a redheaded storm cloud as Billy opened the front door up and shoved Sinclair out in the night. “Lucas, you don’t have to go!”

The fuck he didn’t have to go. Billy counted to ten again but it didn’t work; he was still really angry. Max could not be this goddamn stupid; they had both heard Billy’s dad going off on one of his rants about the blacks and the fags just Saturday night at dinner. If Maxine had one fucking brain cell in her head she’d understand. Billy couldn’t imagine that she hadn’t told Sinclair some of the shit Billy’s father said; if Sinclair really didn’t care either and thought he could fuck around at Max’s house and get her in deep shit, then he was for shit too.

“Yes, he fucking does have to go.” Billy shoved the kid out onto the porch. “See you later Lucas, real sweet of you to drop by, don’t fucking come back here.” Max pushed Billy out of the way and stood in the doorway looking at Lucas all doe-eyed and crazy.

Sinclair was rolling his eyes and getting his bike from the bushes; Billy didn’t know how he hadn’t seen the damn thing when he’d came in. “It’s fine, Max, it’s whatever. I’ll see you at school, okay?” He hopped on his bike and wheeled around the dirt driveway. Billy grabbed Max’s arm real rough and pulled her away from the door to slam it shut.

Max wrenched her arm away from him; her fists were still clenched and her eyes were spitting fire again. “DON’T TOUCH ME! YOU ARE SUCH AN _ASSHOLE!_ ” she yelled.

“Whatever,” Billy said. He didn’t care if she thought he was an asshole. It was better than her being dead and thinking he was an asshole. “The fuck you thinking, having that kid over here? Your mom and my dad are coming back in an hour.”

“HE WAS JUST _LEAVING,_ ” Max yelled her head off; she was still sneering at him. Her womanly hysteria was pitched up to a seven already. “You didn’t have to be a piece of shit to him! He never does _anything_ to you! You’re such a RACIST!”

“Fuck you, I ain’t a racist,” Billy said. “I am fucking looking out for you, Maxine, if my goddamn dad sees you with him, and you _know this_ – “

“You’re not looking out for me! I _know_ you hate Lucas! You’re _racist!_ You’re just the same as your dad!”

“The fuck I am,” Billy said. Maxine didn’t know shit; Billy had thought she was starting to know. A nigger was a nigger but Billy didn’t care either way; first of all you couldn’t trust anybody for shit, it didn’t matter if they were black or white or a girl or a guy or your fucking parent. Second of all he’d never said that word in his life. His _dad_ certainly had said it. There’d been a bunch of black kids on the basketball team back in Riverside and Billy’d palled around with two or three of them before his old man had flipped out and made him quit. Billy’d never called them that word even when they were beating his ass all around the basketball court. He felt like telling Max that he’d never even called anyone a nigger but he thought probably that wouldn’t really help his case.

Max was still screwing up her face and yelling her damn head off. “I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU COULD BE FRIENDS WITH MY FRIENDS!” she hollered. She stormed away from him and went into her bedroom and slammed the door. Billy sat down on the couch and felt pissed off. He didn’t want to be friends with her fucking friends. He thought about how he’d just grabbed her arm and felt like a piece of shit.

After about two minutes Max’s door opened and she came back out; Billy guessed she wasn’t done with him yet. “What the _fuck_ do you want now.”

“You know what else, Billy?” Max yelled at him all angry. She looked like she was gearing up to really get going. “Answer me!”

Billy consigned himself to the pain of being talked to death by Max in her womanly hysteria. “What, what else do I know.”

Maxine scowled at him some more. “Not ONLY are you a racist and an ASSHOLE, you’re a COWARD! You’re not looking out for me, you’re looking out for YOURSELF!”

“The fuck are you even talking about.”

“You’re all _scared_ that Neil will hit you again if he knows you’ve been letting me hang out with Lucas,” Max said. Billy rolled his eyes and looked past her at the TV; he wasn’t _letting_ her hang out with Lucas. He wasn’t her damn keeper anymore after all, and she didn’t listen to him for shit anyway. Max went on and on in her womanly hysteria. “You’re SUCH a coward! You’re BIGGER than him! You know if you hit him back once, I bet he’d leave you alone!”

“Man, get the hell out of my face already,” Billy said. He was looking at the TV; Max was just a little stormcloud in the side of his vision. She was wrong anyway; she was real fucking wrong. He hadn’t hit his dad back in a little while but did she think he’d never tried? Did she think he’d never tried when his dad had beat the shit out of him over Tracey?

“YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, YOU DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT ANYTHING,” Max yelled her head off. She yelled her head off for a while and then she stomped back to her room and slammed the door three times; Jesus she was a dramatic cunt. She started playing her records real loud. Billy turned the TV up over them.

 

Max zoomed off on her skateboard the next morning; really for the rest of the week she treated him like he had the damn plague. Mind you Billy didn’t give a fuck what she thought about him but goddamn if she didn’t piss him off. This was probably the worst they’d been since right after they’d moved here, after all the shit had happened back in Cali.

Neil and Susan had came home early anyway, just like Billy’d known they would, about fifteen minutes after Sinclair had left and Max had had her screaming fit. She was cutting it real close and she didn’t understand how close she’d got. She yelled at him that she didn’t need any rides anywhere and stomped around the house whenever she saw him; basically she was just acting like a huge grade A bitch. Max was for shit and Billy seriously couldn’t believe he’d actually let himself think she was okay and all for a while.

Saturday morning Hank called him about painting the car so Billy drove down to the shop. He drove past Max and Sinclair at the arcade with the whole creepy kid club aside from Elijane. It was the little Byers kid and Henderson and Wheeler Jr too. Max scowled up a storm when he drove past and Sinclair wasn’t looking at him. He was touching Max’s arm. Henderson just waved at him like a great big fag for some reason.

He and Hank spent all day painting the car and they only got about halfway done; doing a whole paint job was a big task and you could only do so much at once. It was a VW Bug and they were painting it bright purple for Hank’s niece. It was a damn shame to paint the Bug fucking purple but that’s what the girl wanted. Hank bitched his ass off the whole time but Billy thought it was real fun. “Just don’t smoke in here, Bill, the fumes from these cans are flammable as shit. You could make a real blowtorch with this shit. The whole place’ll go up and you’ll singe your pretty hair.” Billy rolled his eyes all over the goddamn garage.

Around nine they’d finished all they could do. Even with their masks and jumpsuits on they were covered in purple paint from the spray cans; Billy was pretty sure they both looked even gayer than Hank’s brother.

“Can probably finish up when you come in on Monday,” Hank told him, hanging up his keys. “I found these real neat speakers that’d fit in your car, I’ll bring the book in then.”

Billy really wanted new speakers for the Camaro. It was the next big thing he wanted to do to his car; he wanted to redo the whole interior too. “Thanks, but I really ain’t got the money for that.” He waved his cast at Hank; fuck if the whole thing wasn’t all fucking purple now too. At least it covered up the retarded shit Maxine had drew on it. He didn’t feel like looking at it now that she was back to thinking he was a piece of shit. “My old man’s been charging me up the ass for this shit, and my summer school. He takes about more than half of my checks.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Hank looked kind of surprised. “Christ, your father charged you for your damn arm?”

“We don’t got medical insurance.”

“Okay. Okay, I know how that is.” Hank thought about it. He said, “Look, how about I talk to my brother. You’re in high school, you need money to go out and take girls out and shit. Maybe we can work something out; I’ll start paying you half under the table or something. I’ll figure out a base rate.”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Sure, I don’t fucking gotta do my own taxes.” Hank hung up his keys. “You gonna hang out around here and do your homework again?”

Billy felt weird; he hadn’t know Hank knew he did that shit here. He didn’t want Hank thinking that he thought the garage was a damn playground or something. “I’m sorry, man. I don’t need to do that anymore.”

“Nah, I don’t care what you do here. You do great work, Bill. Just don’t bring any girls around here; people are always looking to hawk my shit.” Hank laughed like he’d told a great joke. “Jesus Christ, once Miles was bringing this guy around and I swear to god he made off with like half my wrenches. Why some queer’d want them all, goddamn if I know.” Miles was Hank’s fairy brother that he owned the shop with.

“I won’t bring nobody else around,” Billy said. Hank talked his ear off some more about his faggot brother and then he finally left. Billy cleaned up most of their paint cans and then locked up the garage. He went outside to smoke a cigarette; he’d had to park his car way down on the street earlier so he just leaned against the shop window smoking. Even his fucking cigarettes kinda tasted like paint fumes.

He looked down Main Street; the car garage was way down at the end of the street. Most of the shops were closed already aside from the comic book store over on the corner of Main and Broad. Half the streetlights were out on the street over here and it was real dark; pretty much the only thing still open was the movie theater about a half mile down the road with its big sign and billboard lights. Probably there were about twenty people still out, watching _The Fly_ or that _Stand By Me_ movie that’d finally hit Hawkins _._ Billy could never get over how fucking empty this town looked after ten PM; it was nothing like California. Everyone here probably went to bed at like nine because there was no coke in town for them to do.

He turned his head forward again and did a double take; Steve Harrington had appeared out of the shadows across the street from him, walking a huge German Shepard.

Steve glanced up to look at the car garage and he did a double take too when he saw Billy. He stood still for a moment with the dog pulling on the leash like crazy and then he smiled and waved. Billy raised a hand back; he wasn’t sure if he was gonna walk over. He guessed that Maxine hadn’t yapped her head off to Steve yet about what a racist and a coward Billy was. He really didn’t think Harrington would be smiling and waving at him otherwise.

The dog pulled Harrington forward a little into the light of the one working streetlamp on the block; Harrington looked like some kinda vision in the flickering light. He almost banged into a mailbox and then Billy saw he was walking not one but two dogs. That decided it; Billy loved dogs. He stamped his cigarette out and walked across the street.

“Hey, man,” Steve said as he came over. The dogs were pulling at the leash like crazy and sniffing at Billy. “I swear I was not actually walking by the garage looking for you for once, I was just out walking these guys.” Then he looked at Billy kind of weird. “Um … why are you purple?” he asked him.

“I was paintin’ a car all day.”

“Oh. Right, cool. You can really do all that shit?”

“I can now,” Billy said. He wondered what the hell Harrington was doing, out by himself at ten on a Saturday night walking two dogs. “These guys really yours? I didn’t see no dogs in your fancy house.”

Harrington grinned down at them. “Yeah, they’re mine, my mom always makes me keep them tied up out in the yard.” The one Shepard was wagging its tail real hard so Billy started petting it.

“Hi! Hi!” he said to it. Harrington looked real weirded out by him. What, he never talked to his own damn dogs? Billy’d kill to have a dog; he’d never got to have a pet before aside from some rabbit his mom had had when he was like eight. “What’re their names?”

Harrington looked up at the streetlamp; he looked really pained for a second. He wrapped one of the long leashes around his hand a couple times. “They have no names, they are fuckin’ wild beasts,” he said. “They aren’t even mine, I’m lying, I just found ‘em. Okay, okay, don’t tell anyone, their names are Luke and Leia.”

“NO SHIT,” Billy said in a great glee. Jesus Harrington was a faggot. “You homo, did you name your damn animals after fucking _Star Wars?_ ”

“Screw you, I got them when I was thirteen, it was right after _The Empire Strikes Back_ came out,” Harrington told him.

Billy grinned; Harrington was such an asshole. “Which one’s Leia?”

“The lighter one.”

“Okay, so her formal title’s _Princess,_ right _?”_ Billy fucking bet it was.

“You are such an asshole,” Steve said. “Of course it is, she is royalty and you can address her as such.”

Billy laughed his ass off; Harrington rolled his eyes. Anyway the dogs were real cute though. “Princess Leia! Princess Leia!” Billy yapped at the lighter one. She got real excited and started shaking everywhere; Billy leaned over to pet her. “Hahahaha!”

Harrington still looked real weirded out by him. “Kind of can’t believe this is happening,” he said. “Anyway, I’m glad I ran into you. Do you know George Millstone? He graduated a year ahead of me.”

“Why the fuck would I know him then?”

Harrington made one of his great faces at him. “He still lives in town,” he said. “He works at my dad’s office with me. He’s having a party on Thursday night, it’s going to be a huge kegger. I was gonna tell you you should come if you hadn’t heard about it.”

“Jesus Christ, a party on a Thursday night?” Billy said dramatically. “Right out here in Hawkins?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s some real A list shit. He lives out on LeGrange and Hillcrest.” That was even a more ritzy part of town than Harrington’s.

“I’ll think about it,” Billy told him. Harrington was still pretty much the most annoying person in the universe, even if he did have two cool dogs and liked _Star Wars_. He definitely remembered the last party he’d been to that Harrington had been at; it’d been the second night he’d been in town. “Maybe if I don’t have to drive Max all over the place.” He’d mentioned Maxine on purpose; he wanted to see if she had yapped her damn head off about him to Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Man, they’re doing some new secretive bullshit, I can’t even tell you.” Probably plotting out Billy’s death or something. “They stole this whole huge transmission radio from the middle school and I got banned from the Wheelers’ house for saying they should take it back. Nobody ever fuckin’ listens to me.”

Billy wondered what the fuck they needed a huge transmission radio for, but only for a minute. He didn’t really care what they were up to (unless they were planning to drop it on him in his sleep and kill him). “You see El-or-Jane around or anything?”

Harrington rolled his eyes at him again; he was smiling. “No, I haven’t seen your girl Carrie around, you fucking pedophile.”

“Fuck you, you’re the pedo,” Billy said. “Dustin! Dustin! Get your hand out of my pocket!”

Harrington laughed real loud. “You are disgusting,” he said. Luke was pulling at his leash and whining a lot. “Okay, okay, okay, Jesus.” He looked up at Billy. “I guess I should go. See you around, all right?”

“Sure,” Billy said. He wasn’t going to go searching for him but whatever.

“Don’t forget about the party, okay? Thursday night.”

“Sure.”

Harrington let the dogs pull him across the street and off down Broad. Billy stared after him for a minute and then he turned to walk to his car. He smoked another cigarette and started to drive home. He felt real jazzed up from seeing Harrington and his two _Star Wars_ dogs; he told himself it was mostly because of the dogs. He saw Sinclair coming out of the comic book shop and he was so jazzed up that he actually pulled the car over without really thinking.

“Hey Sinclair, the fuck you doing out here?” It was past ten and the comic book store was probably just closing.

Sinclair was unlocking his bike from the bike rack. He walked it over to the edge of the sidewalk and glared mistrustfully into Billy’s car. “What, is there some new Jim Crow law that says I can’t walk around town after dark?”

“Well, you do blend right in with the night,” Billy said sweetly. Sinclair rolled his eyes all over Broad Street. “You got my sister with you or what?”

“No, Max isn’t with me, don’t worry,” Sinclair said all nasty. Billy blew some cigarette smoke at him. “She went home after the movie at eight, I’m not out here _corrupting_ her.”

“You’re a piece of fucking work,” Billy told him. He was still pretty jazzed up and Jesus Sinclair was amusing him so. “Get in, I’ll give you a ride.”

Sinclair made one of his sassy faces. “ _Where?_ To the morgue?”

Billy took another drag off his cigarette and blew some more smoke at him. “No, to your fuckin’ house, you shithead.”

The kid hesitated for a minute; he glared at Billy all skeptically like a dramatic bitch. “You’re for real?” he said finally.

“Offer’s expiring in five, four, three … “

“Okay, all right!” Sinclair hurried his bike around to the passenger side of Billy’s car and mashed it into the backseat. He pushed the seat back up and climbed in. Then he looked at Billy weird. “Man, why are you all purple?”

Billy rolled his eyes all over Broad Street too. “I had a paint ball gun fight with my boss and his faggot brother,” he said. “They shot me up with fuckin’ glitter listening to Madonna.”

Sinclair made one of his lovely faces at Billy again. Billy turned his speakers up and roared down Main Street. Sinclair lived about fifteen minutes away, next to the Wheelers. Van Halen was playing and luckily Sinclair didn’t try to talk to him or anything. “Thanks I guess,” he said when he got out of the car.

It was after eleven (Eleven!) by the time Billy got in and Neil and Susan were already asleep. Max was sitting in the living room watching some old horror movie and she glared at him when he came in, then looked at him weird. “Why are you purple?” she said, the question of the night. It was the first thing she’d said to him in about four days that hadn’t been totally bitchy.

“I was at a fucking dance club,” Billy told her and she rolled her eyes at him. He went to take a shower; damn if taking a shower wasn’t a huge ordeal with his broken arm that he had to cover up. He still had some of the purple in his hair when he was done. His dad was really gonna love that shit.

He left Maxine to watch her horror movie and laid down in his bed. He put his record player on and smoked the last of his cigarettes. He didn’t mean for it to happen but his mind kept drifting back to Harrington, raising his eyes up to the streetlamps with his hair falling all over the collar of his jacket. Then he thought about his dad smacking his head against the wall and calling him _pussy, faggot, quee_ r. Billy put out his cigarette and pulled his pillow over his face.

* * *

The week went by and Maxine was still pretty much treating him like he was a leper, not that he gave a shit. On Tuesday morning she ate all his fucking cereal and made faces at him when he bitched at her. Billy’s old man was getting ready to go out on the road again and he clapped his hand down on Billy’s shoulder as he went by, way too hard. “You better do something about that fucking hair of yours,” he told Billy. Billy’d taken like four showers and he still had a bunch of fucking purple paint in the back of it. “I don’t want to see that shit in it when I get back.” Damn if he didn’t make Billy feel like going out and getting a pink mohawk and painting his nails.

He drove Max and himself to school and she glowered at him all mistrustfully as he parked in the lot. “Don’t think that I think you’re less of an asshole because you gave Lucas one ride home,” she told him.

“I could care less what you fuckin’ think about me,” Billy said.

Max glared at him some more. She was gathering all her books up from the floor of the car. “Whatever,” she said. She rolled one of her notebooks up in her hand; Billy wondered if she was gonna start another round of hysteria and start beating him with it. Then she said, “Sorry for what I said about you being like your dad.”

“Sorry I grabbed your fuckin’ arm like I was my dad,” Billy said.

Max got out of the car. “It’s not like you haven’t done it _before,_ ” she said and made him feel like total shit. Billy watched her walk into the school. Then he got out and went to class too.

Wednesday Henderson bugged the shit out of him in study hall again. Billy slammed his books to the floor again and stalked off to smoke in the gym. Henderson’d told him that his hair was ‘really bitching’ and that decided it; after school ended he drove down to the barber shop and got a haircut to get the purple bits out of it. It was mostly all the same length now. Billy took a couple minutes to smoke and mourn the loss of his mullet and then he drove down to the shop. He and Hank worked on the Pontiac some more and then Billy went home. Maxine glared at him when he came in and sat down but she didn’t stomp off to her room in a fit of womanly hysteria. They watched _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ on TV and didn’t talk to each other.

Thursday he went to work and worked on the Pontiac until nine, then he drove himself down to LeGrange and Hillcrest. Harrington had said _Don’t forget_ after all. Billy thought about him under the streetlight again. He could spot the party house right away; it was all lit up and there were a shitload of cars in the huge driveway. It was about the size of a fucking mansion.

Billy invited himself in and started drinking. After about ten minutes Harrington came into the kitchen and found him; he must have his Billy Hargrove radar turned up real high. “Hey, I can’t believe you actually showed up.”

Billy rolled his eyes; he was always up for a party, even if there was no coke. He decided he shouldn’t tell Harrington that he’d probably be sitting around at home watching _Little House on the_ _Prairie_ with Maxine and his stepmother otherwise. “Didn’t want you to miss me too much.”

Harrington was staring at him. “You got a haircut,” he said.

“Thanks for noticing, Stella.” Now Harrington was rolling his eyes.

There were a lot of people at the party; a lot of other seniors and a couple of older kids that Billy remembered from last year. He didn’t really care about them though. No sign of Tommy Hall which was a good thing; Billy was getting drunk and he had a deep desire to beat Tommy’s ass into the pavement.

He chugged a couple of beers with Harrington; Billy could still drink him under the table but that was no surprise. One of Harrington’s beer cans exploded all over him and Billy laughed his ass off at him. Harrington said _fuck you_ to him three times but he was smiling; he didn't look like _Mr. Mom_ tonight. Billy felt real good drinking with him.

Rachel Evangelista was across the living room making eyes at him and Harrington waggled his eyebrows all stupid. “She has been watching you all night, man,” he said.

“She’s not my type,” Billy said. He was probably still going to fuck her, though.

Billy went off to get another beer. When he came back Harrington wasn’t on the couch anymore, not like it mattered or they were together or some shit. He was across the room at the front door and he was in deep conversation with Nancy Wheeler. Billy hadn’t even realized she’d been here. She was in English with him and she was an uptight stuck up bitch; she was always talking her ass off in class like she was so smart because she was dating that camera freak Jonathan Byers. He still remembered Harrington being all fucked about her last year: basically she was fucking Cathy Ames from _East of Eden_. He hadn’t thought she was much of a party person. Anyway she was looking up at Harrington with her big doe eyes and he was looking down at her with his big doe eyes. He put his hand on his elbow and went outside with her.

Billy went off to do more keg shots. He came back into the living room and Harrington still wasn’t there. Rachel Evangelista was, though, she was making eyes at him from the steps. Billy sauntered over to her. “You been looking for me?” Rachel smiled and took his hand. She started dragging him upstairs; Billy already knew they were gonna fuck.

Rachel led him right into an empty bedroom. Apparently she knew the layout of the house real well. She took her shirt off in two seconds; Jesus women in Hawkins moved fast. Her tits were all right. Rachel put her hands in his hair and kissed him all sloppy with her mouth open. Her lipstick tasted like plastic. They fumbled their way to the bed and Rachel pulled him on top of her; Billy let himself be pulled. She kissed Billy and writhed around under him and helped him take his clothes off. He’d barely been able to get his jeans off before she was grabbing his dick and guiding him into her. He hoped to Christ she was on birth control.

The sex was okay; Rachel was pretty wild. She scratched the shit out of his back and kept telling him to fuck her harder, fuck her fucker. They were in a kind of weird position with her half-sitting up against a million pillows on the bed. Billy wound his arm around the wooden bedpost and pulled himself up so he could fuck her like she wanted him to. It actually ended up hurting his broken wrist a lot but he kept fucking her. There was something wrong with him; usually about halfway during sex he just wanted it to be over.

Rachel yelled and moaned a lot and it was a little much. He wasn’t trying that hard. When they were finished Rachel stretched out on the bed naked and smoked one of his cigarettes. Billy managed not to roll his eyes at her; her tits weren’t that great.

Rachel blew some smoke at him. “Do you think you can keep quiet about this?” she asked him. “I kind of have a boyfriend in Eastgate.”

Wonderful, really fucking lovely. Women were so great. She was another goddamn Cathy Ames. “Sure, whatever you want,” Billy said. He was already putting his jeans on. There was something wrong with him and he already wanted to leave. He fixed his necklace; Rachel’d gotten it all twisted around while she’d been grabbing him and moaning her head off. It was his mom’s St. Christopher’s pendant and it was on a silver chain he’d bought when he was fifteen. He dragged his t-shirt on over his head. “So what, you just gonna hang out there naked on the bed all night?”

Rachel laughed at him and rolled over; honestly her ass wasn’t some kind of big deal. “See you in study hall,” she said. “I had a good time.”

Billy buttoned up his jean jacket. He left her there without saying goodbye. Metallica was playing downstairs which was always a good thing; he didn’t really feel like drinking anymore though. He’d copped off okay with Rachel but it hadn’t been that good; his arm was fucking throbbing again now and he kind of thought it hadn’t been worth it. He left the house and started across the yard towards his car. He made a point of it not to look around for Steve.

* * *

September was drawing to a close now; it was getting on to be Billy’s favorite time of year. Not really. It was after eight by the time he got home that night; his left arm still hurt from fucking around at the party last week and he was tired as hell. The tow had brought a Chevy in last minute and Hank said he’d pay him double if he’d change the tires before he left.

Billy parked on the street and headed up the dirt driveway to his house. He was pretty sure there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t have motor oil slicked on it; it had stained his cast along with the purple and he was pretty sure he looked awesome. It was cold as shit outside but Max was sitting on the broken front step in her ratty parka. She was reading some comic in the flickering porch light and drawing patterns in the dirt with her Chucks.

“Hell’re you doing outside?”

Max looked up at him. In the weak light of the porch the circles under her eyes looked like bruises. Billy wondered if she’d be speaking in civil sentences to him tonight. “The Angels’re losing again.”

“Ah, shit,” Billy said. His dad was probably on his ninth or tenth beer and was probably pissed the fuck off. “Really don’t feel like getting my ass beat tonight.” Max made a face at him; it was almost a smile. “All right, you wanna get food or something?”

Max twisted her shitty paperbook up in her hands and looked at him skeptically. “Really?”

Billy jingled his keys at her. He guessed she did know what a huge brat she’d been being to him. “Before I change my fuckin’ mind, okay.”

Max bounded after him to his car. Def Leppard was playing on the radio again; Billy turned it up. No one else was on the roads but he didn’t speed that much.

“You smell like a truckstop,” Max informed him.

“Please, keep on sweet-talkin’ me.” Billy turned onto the main drag. Max almost smiled again.

They went to Hathaway’s and ordered burgers and fries; Max got a milkshake. She was being gross as shit and dipping her fries in it. You’d think the kid hadn’t eaten in a week. She told him what had happened on _Knight Rider_ last night; he’d been at work then too.

They didn’t usually watch the reruns together or some shit. They just happened to be in the same room sometimes watching them.

“So Devon reunited Knight with Stephanie and they were going to get married!” Max said. Her eyes were real big; Billy guessed it must’ve been real romantic. “But then these evil guys from the start of the episode showed up to kill him and Stephanie took the bullet for him!”

Billy rolled his eyes. He stole a couple of the fries off her plate. “Don’t cry about it, they’ll do their bullshit next week and show him rolling her out of the way or some shit. They’re not actually going to kill the lead guy’s wife off. Fucking asshole.”

“Who’s a fucking asshole?” someone asked from behind him. Billy froze for a second and something below his throat thudded in a weird way. He rolled his eyes again and stole more of Max’s fries. He wasn’t stealing them; he’d paid for them. And now Harrington was standing behind him listening in on him talking with his stepsister about fucking _Knight Rider_.

It could be worse. They could have been talking about _Thunder Cats_ or some shit. Which they also didn’t watch together, but in the same room, whatever. It was on.

Max got her stupid _it’s_ _Steve Harrington!_ beam on her face. The _it’s Steve Harrington!_ beam was reserved for when she wasn’t off running the fuck away from him in the woods or making fun of him for being a secret agent man, Billy guessed. “David Hasselhoff!”

“Oh, _Knight Rider?_ ” Harrington came around to the table; he had a takeout bag of food in his hand. He sat down at the booth next to Max like they’d invited him; Max slid over to make room for him. “My dad watches that.” Great. “He is a fucking asshole. Knight, not my dad.”

Max and Billy looked at each other for two seconds; if only they could say the same. “You guys think everyone is a fucking asshole,” Max said. She was still looking at Billy for some reason.

“Hey!” Steve said like a den mom. Or a den dad, whatever. He was wearing a pale yellow shirt and a black tie with little yellow stripes on it; he looked stupid as shit. His hair got bigger and shinier every time Billy saw him. “Language, all right?”

“Sorry!” Max didn’t look too sorry. She reached out for her last fry; Billy snatched it and made a big display of eating it. Steve grinned at him and Max scowled exaggeratedly, then slurped her milkshake.

Steve started opening up his takeout bag and pulling his burger out; Billy guessed he was fucking dining with them. “I like Dr. Bonnie.”

“You would,” said Billy. “She’s a fucking asshole too.” Steve grinned at him again. He was Mister Smiles tonight.

Max sighed heavily at her empty plate; Billy scowled at her. He dug around in his jeans pocket with his right arm – it was still hard not to use the left – and tossed her a buck. She wasn’t being as fucking annoying as she had been being tonight; he’d liked her synopsis of _Knight Rider_. He thought he had off next week to watch it. Now thanks to her they’d run into Harrington. He realized he wasn’t being sarcastic and felt surprised at himself. Even now Harrington wouldn’t have came and sat down if it’d just been him, he was pretty sure of that.

Max got up to get more fries or whatever the fuck she was going to get; Steve let her out of the booth and then sat back down. “Hathaway’s on a Friday night, we are both living it up again,” Steve said to him.

“Yeah,” Billy said. He’d forgotten it was Friday, really. That’d never happen back in California; there was always some shit to go to. Here there was Hathway’s. “I was at work, so.” He always said the most interesting shit to Harrington.

“Yeah, I can tell.” Billy raised his eyebrows and didn’t say anything; he suddenly felt really aware of the fact that he was probably streaked with exhausted fumes, not that it mattered. “How you been?” Steve asked. He could fit a lot of french fries in his mouth. Billy wondered what else he could fit in there. God shit fuck, he was pretty fucked in the head. He wasn’t answering so Harrington kept on talking. “Haven’t seen ya since ya ditched me at the party I invited you to.”

Billy didn’t feel like telling him he’d gone off and fucked Rachel. He should be bragging about it; he didn’t feel like telling Steve though. He hadn’t even said any shit about her at school. He was losing his edge. “All right, you ditched me,” he said. “I disappear for five minutes and you’re fucking gone.”

“I was outside talking to Nancy for a while. I came back in.”

Billy started eating Steve’s fries too. He looked at his left arm and his crummy cast. “Yeah, I saw that,” he said. He wasn’t looking at Harrington. “She crying to get back with you yet or was it more creepy kid shit?”

Steve was smiling at Billy again like, Billy didn’t fucking know. He looked amused or something. Guys didn’t usually smile at him; usually it was some slut who was tryin’ to bang him or soccer moms he was flirting with for fun. “Creepy kid shit,” he said. “Well, kid shit, not that creepy. Mike and El had some fight and he ran off. Nance always freaks out, but he was just at Dustin’s house.”

“Elijane’s getting smart, she knows to stay the fuck away from the Wheelers.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something; he was still smiling. Max came bumbling back with her fries before he could say whatever he was gonna say. “You want some of these, Billy? I asked for cheese but I didn’t know it’d be the orange kind.”

“You have to ask for mozzarella if you want it, they always do that,” Steve told her.

“I like the orange kind,” Billy said. He ate their food; Steve and Max kept talking about _Knight Rider_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I'm pretty sure that, in canon, Steve definitely does not have two dogs. But there's no real evidence to say that he DOESN't have two dogs. :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is doing stuff, Steve! Things!

**Chapter Three**

_When you walk without ease_  
_On these streets where you were raised_  
_I had a really bad dream_  
_It lasted 20 years, 7 months, and 27 days_  
_And I know that, I know that_  
_I never had no one ever_  
_Now I'm outside your house_  
_I'm alone and I'm outside your house_  
_I hate to intrude; I know I'm alone_  
_I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone_  
_And I never, never had no one ever_  
_I never had no one ever_

\- ‘Never Had No One Ever,’ The Smiths

 

**October 1986**

By the first day of the month the temperature was already below freezing; apparently that was a thing that happened here. Billy had to wait in his car for twenty minutes that morning with Max as the windshield defrosted. The Camaro was probably going to freeze and overheat at the same time and finally totally fucking die on him; Billy was pretty sure he was also going to fucking die if he had to sit in there for another half hour on another morning, listening to Maxine go on and on about Dungeons and Dragons at the Wheelers’ household. His own kid stepsister, a fantasy nerd. She was already a gamer nerd so it made sense. Jesus she hurt him so much.

As far as Billy was concerned, the whole month of October was for shit, especially here in Hawkins. A string of bad shit always happened to him in October; he was waiting for it to go down.

His mom had died in October first of all. It was coming up on five years now and Billy was depressed as hell about it; he wasn’t thinking about it. Then last year they’d moved to this shithole town and he’d first laid eyes on Harrington, kickstarting off his bad luck for the year. It was the curse of Hawkins and all that shit. This year the worst that had happened so far was fuckin’ Henderson following him around in study hall again (Billy also considered that part of the curse of Hawkins), but the potential for more shit was always growing, especially when you were in the creepy kid club.

Billy guessed he really was in the creepy kid club now. Maybe not fully integrated but a junior member or some shit; he still wasn’t quite sure how that’d happened.

On the second of October, Billy’s dad came up to him while he was eating breakfast and laid a hand on his shoulder. The hand didn’t clamp down too hard but Billy clenched up anyway; he was such a fucking pussy. A real coward like Maxine’d said. In his head he ran through the list of things he could have done this week to piss his old man off.

His dad wasn’t out for blood that morning though. Billy thought he might be. His dad said, “Bill, I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten.” Billy ran through the list in his head again. His dad said, “I haven’t forgotten about your mother. It’s coming up.”

Oh. Of course. “Yeah,” Billy said. He didn’t want to talk about his mom.

“It’s a hard month for both of us,” Neil said. Billy really hoped his dad wasn’t going to start going on and on about his mom; sometimes he did. He hadn’t cared for shit when she’d been alive or when she’d been sick, it felt like. “We’ve just got to get through it. We always do.”

“Yeah,” Billy said again.

Billy’s dad took his arm away. “You gonna be okay?” he asked. He was being real nicey nice again; Billy’d almost forgot he could be that way.

“I’m okay,” Billy said. He was always okay.

Max ran by with her board and Billy gave her his keys to go out and start the car up. She was running late and she was making him late so she could start the car up. Billy sat and ate his cereal while Maxine thundered about in the background, running in and out of the house, screaming about her shoes and arguing with Susan about lunch money. Neil sat down across from him and looked at him.

“Your mom would be real proud of you, taking care of your sister like this.”

Billy got up and put his cereal bowl in the sink; he filled it up with water so Susan wouldn’t have to rinse it. He could feel something red behind his eyes. “She’s not my sister,” he said and went to go outside and wait for Max. It didn’t matter what his mom would think anyway. She was dead. She’d been dead.

Maxine finally ran out and met him at his car; her hair was still wet from her shower and her grubby green jacket had a stain on the sleeve. She waved her packet of Poptarts in his face; Billy shook his head. He put the Camaro into gear and started driving.

Max unwrapped her Poptarts and started gnawing at the edge of one like some kinda sewer rat. She kept looking at him all funny out of the corner of her eyes. She looked at him all the way down Redwood Lane. Finally she said, “I heard Neil talking to you about your mom. You guys never talk about her. How … how did she die again?”

Billy looked out at the road; he turned his blinker on to turn onto Elm Street. “She had cancer,” he said, real slow so Max would know how for shit she was. His mom had only been in the ground for a year when Neil’d married Susan; he knew they knew the whole story.

“Oh. Right, I knew that. Sorry.” Max looked down at her Poptarts. Then she looked back up at him. “Was she sick for a long time?”

She hadn’t been sick for a long time; she’d been sick for forever. It had felt like forever. Sometimes he still woke up and felt like he had to go and check on her. Even when she’d stayed at the hospital for the end of it he’d felt like that.

Billy didn’t say anything for a couple minutes. He didn’t think he was gonna say anything at all, but eventually the words came out without him meaning them to. “Yeah, she was sick for a long time,” he told Max. “She had these tumors on her lungs; they took ‘em out but it came back.” It usually came back, cancer that was; Billy was pretty sure. Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. It wasn’t even supposed to be a real bad one. Billy still didn’t really know how any kind of cancer couldn’t be a bad one. Even just five years later they could go all kinds of new shit; they couldn’t do that shit when Billy’s mom had been sick. “When she got real bad again it was too late to really do anything.”

Maxine looked real sad for him; she even stopped eating her Poptart. “Sorry,” she said again. “I guess you really miss her.”

Billy didn’t want to talk about his mom. Even though he’d barely said anything he felt like he’d said too much. “What about you, didn’t you have a uh, some cherished family member that died?” he asked. He snapped his fingers at her. “What was it? Not your dad, but his … “

Max didn’t answer him for a minute. Then she said, “My mom’s brother.”

“Right, right,” Billy said. “Your uncle. You guys stayed with him after your dad fucked off, right?”

Max was just staring at him being an asshole; he knew he was being an asshole. She was used to him being an asshole. “Yeah.”

“He’s dead too, right? Your uncle? How’d he kick it?”

He knew how Max’s uncle had died. He wasn’t for shit like her; he remembered. He wanted to hear her say it. Wanted her to feel like total shit like he did.

Maxine looked out the window. “Car accident,” she said.

“Somebody hit him, right?” Billy said. He turned his car onto the main drag. “Somebody was speeding, right? Mashed him up?”

“Yeah.”

“Kinda funny that your uncle got himself killed driving around and you still thought it was cool to jack my fucking car and drive it all over Hawkins.”

Max scowled out the window. “I did what I had to do,” she gritted out.

That was cute; she was real cute. Billy still hadn’t seen little Elijane around again but he still considered her a fucking badass; he didn’t know if whatever shit Max and her friends and Harrington had been doing last year had been important enough that they needed to hawk his fucking car though.

They drove onto school the rest of the way in silence. Max got out of the car and stalked away before he’d even got the engine turned off. Billy sat and watched her go. He knew that he hadn’t needed to say that shit to her. He couldn’t stop himself, never could.

Fleetwood Mac started playing on the radio so he turned it off. Fleetwood Mac was good but they’d been his mom’s favorite band; he didn’t need to hear them. He remembered when he’d gone out and bought _Rumors_ for her. He still had it in his room, somewhere. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror; he looked like a piece of shit. He smoked two cigarettes before he felt okay enough to go in.

 

That night he was sitting at the service desk at the shop when the bell on the door jingled. Billy looked up and Harrington was walking in; he’d forgotten to lock up. It was after eight.

He’d seen Harrington three or four times since he and Max had run into him at the diner the other week. He hadn’t exactly gone looking for him but he’d found him anyway. By proxy he’d seen a lot of the creepy kids too.

Last week Harrington’d been conveniently out walking his dogs again right when Billy’d been getting out of work. They’d talked for a couple minutes and once again hadn’t punched each other in the face; Billy considered it a real success. Steve was super interested in what Billy did at the garage; apparently the kid could barely change a tire. Why he’d entrusted Billy with this sensitive information remained a mystery.

He’d been at Mike’s (the pizza place, not Wheeler Jr’s house) with Henderson and the little Byers kid one afternoon when Billy’d dropped Max off. Maxine was acting like less of a grade A bitch by then, more kinda like a grade B or C, so Billy’d followed her in and bought her some food. Then he’d been at the arcade the other night with the kids too; Max had told Billy that he should come in. He’d laughed his ass off at Harrington playing Ms. Pac Man. “TAKE THAT, SHITFACE!” Steve had yelled in Henderson’s face. His hair was everywhere. “YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS NOW!”

“Son of a bitch!” Henderson’d been lisping as Steve put his initials into the machine. “Steve. Steve, Steve, what’s the A stand for? Asshole?”

Billy sat in the shop and stared at Steve. Steve walked over to the counter. “Hey, I figured you’d be in here. What’re you doing, homework?” he asked like he hadn’t driven by the shop two times this week all slow like an FBI agent and stared at Billy doing his homework.

Billy pulled his papers away from him. He was kind of doing homework; mostly he was thinking about his mom. She’d gotten so thin right before she’d died; she’d looked like a skeleton. He kept seeing it, what she’d looked like. He thought he’d have been okay if his old man hadn't brought her up in the morning. He was still thinking of being a piece of shit to Maxine, too. She hadn’t shown up at his car today for him to drive her home. Not that he cared but he’d been taking her home usually.

Harrington was still looking at him. “It’s my fuckin’ math sheets, they’re like three days late already.”

“Oh yeah, who do you have? I had Lestner last year, got a fuckin’ C in Calc.”

Pretty much the last thing Billy ever really wanted to do was sit in the shop and tell Steve Harrington all about what a stupid piece of shit he was. He’d already seen the papers, though. “Man, I don’t got Lestner. I’m taking fuckin’ algebra. Algebra II.”

“Oh, okay,” was all Harrington said. He was leaning over real serious looking at Billy’s worksheet; his hair was falling into his eyes all pretty. “Okay, that’s not too bad. You take it back in California?”

Billy didn’t feel like telling Harrington he’d failed out of all his classes when his mom had been dying. It wasn’t really something people wanted to hear. He’d failed out of all his classes and had had to repeat the eighth grade; somehow his old man hadn’t kicked the shit out of him for that and honestly Billy still felt surprised over it. He’d been too busy burying Billy’s mom and selling all her shit. “Yeah, I had to retake all my classes. I’m not smart like that.”

“You can’t be that bad if you’re in English with Nancy,” Steve said. Billy wondered how he knew that. “You know, I can help you if you want. I’m a real good study partner.” He rolled his eyes for some reason.

Billy stared at him; he didn’t know if Harrington was for serious. Then he thought about Harrington saying _Look, I just thought maybe it’d be cool to hang out with someone who wasn’t a fucking annoying fourteen year old._ He thought about Harrington saying, _I can’t believe you like Star Wars, they are my favorite movies_ and drinking with him at the party _._ He figured he could be Steve’s charity case if he wanted him to be. He didn’t have shit else to do either.

“Okay,” he said.

“Yeah? Okay!” said Harrington. He looked real jazzed up for some reason. He also kind of looked like a crazy person; he had those huge circles under his eyes again. He said, “I dated Nancy Wheeler for a whole year, I can make a pretty mean fucking flashcard. Will I remember what’s on the fucking flashcard? No. No, definitely not. But I can make it.”

Jesus he was cute. It was real terrible. Billy licked his lips and didn’t look at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you,” Harrington said. He leaned on the counter and looked at Billy all stupid; it took Billy a minute to realize he was looking that way on purpose. Harrington was a goddamn goofball. “I just got some sensitive intel on your girl Carrie from Dustin. She is going to be at the arcade tonight, I wanted to see you cream your pants again.”

“HOT SHIT!” Billy said. He wondered just how bad Harrington wanted to see him cream his pants. He wanted Harrington to tell him all about it. Anyway he wasn’t actually going to cream his pants; Elijane was like twelve. He was still gonna marry her though. “Why the fuck’re you talking to me about Algebra, then?”

Maxine hadn’t told him El would be at the arcade. Maybe she would’ve if he hadn’t been a shitbag to her this morning; all she’d done was ask him one question. Billy slammed his papers into his backpack and closed up the shop. Even though he was rushing he made sure to check twice that he’d hung up his keys. “You got your car?”

“No, I took a walk. I kinda needed to clear my head.”

Harrington was some kinda philosopher or some shit apparently. “I’ll give you a ride.”

They got into Billy’s car. Harrington didn’t talk too much; usually he had about a million annoying things to say. He leaned his head against the window and looked out at the street. It was raining a little, then it started raining a lot. Harrington breathed against the glass til it fogged up, then he drew a dick on the window.

“That is so nice, you fuckin’ ten year old,” Billy said. Steve grinned out the window.

At the arcade Sinclair was sitting at a table by himself with El-or-Jane. She was eating some soggy french fries and she had another huge baggy sweatshirt on; it was a pink one this time and her hair was real curly. Billy pulled out a chair across from her and grinned.

Maxine wasn’t there; Billy remembered now that she was having some kinda sleepover at this girl Beverly’s house. Max had actually managed to make a couple friends who weren’t in the creepy kid club. She coulda reminded him. “How come you kids ain’t playing?” Henderson and Wheeler Jr and the Byers kid were over at the Dig Dug machine, whooping their heads off.

Sinclair was giving him a skeptical look; Billy guessed he still wasn’t forgiven for kicking him out of the house and saving his ass. “Ran out of money.”

Elijane made a little face too; goddamn she was too cute (in a totally different way than Harrington. Sinclair still wasn’t cute at all). “Too many lights,” she said.

“I hear you, kid.”

Steve went up and got sodas; Billy kept sitting and looking at the kids. Even though he was real jazzed up about seeing baby Carrie again he still felt kind of down about his mom and all. He was trying not to think about it but he was anyway. He couldn’t even turn the charm on too much.

Harrington came back with sodas and a menu and sat down. Billy didn’t know why they had menus at the arcade; all they served were curly fries and chicken nuggets. “Did you guys bring that fuckin’ radio back?” Steve asked Sinclair.

Sinclair rolled his eyes at him; he was a real joy tonight. “Don’t worry about the radio,” he said. “We’re doing stuff with it.”

“What stuff?” Harrington demanded. He looked like a den dad again.

“Things, Steve!”

The kids came back to steal Steve’s soda; Wheeler Jr glared at Billy like he had the plague. He leaned over and whispered to Elijane all cryptic for a couple minutes.

“I’m okay, Mike,” Elijane told him. “I don’t want to play.”

They stayed at the arcade for an hour or so. Elijane stared at Billy for a long time, long enough to make him start feeling really weird: it was like she had x-ray vision or something. Then she started flipping the menu open and flipping through it for him. With her fuckin’ mind! Billy got such a kick out of it that she did it like three times. He was pretty sure she kept doing it because he was being a fuckin’ dumbass.

“Hot shit, kid!” Billy said. “Okay okay, I wanna see the dessert menu.”

Elijane flipped the menu closed to the back without even looking at it. “HAHAHAHA,” said Billy.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Sinclair said; he had his head in his hands like a dramatic bitch. Harrington was smiling at Billy being a dumbass. “You guys are _so_ freaking _retarded._ ”

Elijane looked at Sinclair and then made his hoodie zipper all the way up. It got caught on his polo shirt. “HAHAHAHA,” said Billy again. “FUCKING AWESOME!”

Sinclair glared at him and then Elijane. “El, stop!” he said.

“Okay okay okay,” Billy said. There were kind of a lot of people here. “Okay I’m good. Kid you gotta stop.”

“Okay, I stopped,” said Elijane. Then she looked at Harrington’s empty soda can and crushed it with her mind.

“HAHAHAHAHA!” said Billy again. Harrington started laughing at him.

“Oh my god!” said Sinclair again. He threw his hands up. “El, seriously?”

The rest of the brat pack was trooping over; Billy guessed they’d ran out of money too. “Is Billy having a stroke?” Henderson asked. “He looks like a mental patient.” Billy flipped him off.

Sinclair was rolling his eyes for the eightieth time of the night. “Man, you _belong_ in a mental institution.”

Billy ignored him; it was hard but he did it. He was trying to be on his best behavior since El-or-Jane was around; he’d only cursed like six times.

“You ready to go to my house?” Wheeler Jr was asking Elijane.

Steve instantly looked like a den dad again. “Excuse me, it’s fucking almost ten o’clock,” he said. Billy thought again he was too cute. “Does Hopper know she’s going to your house?”

The kids all instantly looked shifty; they looked just like the super obvious villians on _Knight Rider_. “He’s not home,” Elijane said.

“ _WHAT?_ ” yelled Steve. He had begun the slow transition from den dad to Mr. Mom. “Jesus, are you even allowed to be out?”

“Steve, she can take care of herself,” Henderson was yapping.

“Like hell!” Steve said. “You little assholes are gonna get kidnapped or something, she is going straight the fuck home.”

“I can give her a ride back,” Billy said. He was real jazzed up thinking about it. Anyway it was raining pretty hard; the Chief's house was all the way on the other side of town.

Wheeler Jr was glaring at him like he was some kinda cockroach. “She’s not going _anywhere_ with you,” he scoffed.

“She’s not going anywhere with _you_ on your ratty-ass bike,” Harrington told him.

“IT’S NOT RATTY, I JUST GOT IT LAST YEAR!” Wheeler Jr hollered his head off.

“Fucking ten-speed bike,” Harrington said. He flicked his crushed-up soda can across the table.

“You’re a ten-speed bike!”

Elijane was looking around; Billy gave her his most winsome smile. “Billy can take me home,” she said, deciding it.

Wheeler Jr stopped yelling about his bike. “What? El, no way!” he said. Jesus he really did think he was her damn keeper.

“What, you think I’m some kinda rapist?”

“No, I just think you’re an asshole!”

“Mike, it’s fine, I got a ride with him,” Harrington was telling him, rolling his eyes. “Stop being a little shit, you know she’s not supposed to go out when Hopper’s not here.” They were all talking about the kid like she wasn’t even there.

They paid for their food and went outside. Steve and Billy leaned on his car and watched the kids all convalesce in a big group. They looked all gay and shit with their arms around each other; they were always doing that queer shit. Wheeler Jr pulled El aside and whispered at her for about five minutes.

Harrington looked real annoyed getting rained on. “Fucking annoying fucks,” he said. “COME ON, ASSHOLES. Not you, El. DEFINITELY YOU, DUSTIN.”

Wheeler Jr gave him a massively annoyed look. The kids said bye to El and got on their bikes, then they all stood around looking at Billy and Steve. Billy put his hand on Elijane’s back and guided her to his car, same way he’d guided her up to the counter at the diner the other month. Wheeler Jr was scowling up a storm so Billy put his hand on El’s shoulder, too. “Come on kid, you can sit up front with me.” He threw a glance over his shoulder at Harrington. “Bitches get the backseat.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Steve said. He opened the door to the Camaro and climbed into the backseat, then pushed the seat back up so Elijane could get in.

They drove out of the lot; Wheeler Jr watched them, glaring furiously, and Henderson flipped them off. Harrington flipped him off back. Nobody really talked for a while. Harrington was sprawled out in the backseat like a coma patient, playing with his sunglasses. Elijane stared at the dick on the window pane; in the rearview mirror, Harrington made a great face.

Fleetwood Mac came on the radio again playing ‘Dreams’ because of course they fucking would; it was POWER 99 and it was the curse of Hawkins. Billy reached out to change the station but Elijane put her hand on his arm to stop him. He just about jumped when she touched him; he wasn’t used to people touching him anymore. “Pretty,” she said.

Billy took his hand off the radio. “Yeah, okay,” he said.

Elijane kept her hand on his arm; she started playing with his bracelet. “Pretty,” she said again.

“Oh, you like that?” Billy said. “That’s my mom’s bracelet, kid. She had real good taste, right?”

Elijane didn’t say anything. She kept playing with the bracelet and looking at it. Billy felt real goddamn weird with her touching him; nobody ever fucking touched him. It was his mom’s gold bracelet and it had red stones on it. Billy always forgot what they were called.

Harrington was sitting up a little in the backseat. “You wear your _mom’s jewelry?_ ” he asked.

Billy felt real stupid; he’d been so focused on the kid and the shitty radio that actually he’d kind of forgotten Harrington was even there. “Some real Boy George shit, right?”

“Kind of.” Billy felt like getting mad but Harrington was grinning at him so he couldn’t get mad. It was pretty weird; it sure as hell pissed his old man off, half of why he did it.

Elijane was still looking at him in her serious way. “Your mom ... doesn’t want ... her bracelet?” she asked. Billy thought again that she talked so fucking weird; he guessed he knew why now.

“She don’t want anything, she’s dead,” Billy told her.

Elijane stared at him; her big eyes looked real sad for him. “Sorry,” she whispered. She drew her arm back away from the bracelet like a hurt animal. She was still touching him though.

Billy hated it when people looked sorry for him, and the kid looking that way for him was even worse than Max this morning. He didn’t feel that mad though. For some reason he thought about Harrington saying _Her name’s Eleven like number eleven, like experiment eleven?_ He wondered if she’d ever seen her own damn mom in her life. “Nah, it was a while ago, kid,” he said. He pulled his arm out of her grasp and reached up to pull his pendant out from under the collar of his shirt. “Here, look at this shit, I got her necklace on too. It’s real pretty, right?”

“ _Really_ pretty,” Elijane said. She reached out and touched the St. Christopher’s pendant too.

“Right, right, really pretty,” Billy said. She’d grown up in a test tube apparently but she could speak better English than him.

Finally the kid let his pendant go and he tucked it back under his shirt. ‘Dreams’ kept on playing. Harrington kept on being a faggot in the backseat. They got to the Chief’s house and it was all dark. Elijane said thanks and climbed out of the car. She started up the long dark driveway; she used her fucking mind powers to turn all the lights on in the house before she’d even reached the porch. She went inside without looking back at them.

“Goddamn,” Billy said.

Harrington laughed at him; he was sitting up in the backseat now. He leaned over and looked at Billy. Billy could see him looking in the rearview mirror. “I didn’t know your mom was dead,” he said.

“It ain’t a secret,” Billy said. “Why the fuck else would I be living with my old man in this shithole town?”

“I don’t know, I thought maybe she was like your dad or something.”

“No, she wasn’t like my dad,” Billy told him. Jesus he’d be dead too if she was like his dad. “She was great, okay?”

Steve kept on staring. “How’d she die?”

It was a fucking great day. It was the second damn time someone’d asked him that today. “She had cancer, man,” Billy said. He wasn’t gonna fuck up like he had with Max and say too much.

“Jesus,” Steve said. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that. How old were you?”

Harrington was asking him too many fucking questions. “It doesn’t matter. Am I taking you back to your house, or you gonna go fag around at the Wheelers’?”

Harrington got out of the car to climb into the front seat. “I barely ever go to the Wheelers’,” he said.

“Don’t you play D&D with those kids?” He hoped Sinclair hadn’t been breaking his heart and lying to him.

“They started playing at the Byers’ house, which is another great place for me,” Steve told him. Byers was the guy Nancy’d chucked him for. “I don’t want to run into Nancy.”

“She’s a fucking piece of work.”

“No, man, Nancy’s great,” Steve said. “Too great for me.” He looked all broken up about her again.

“You just fucking said you don’t want to run into her.”

“I don’t,” Steve said. “Look, Nancy’s a good person. That’s my, that’s my thing for this year, I am trying to be a good person.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said. The big thing at school last year had been Nancy cheating on Harrington, then just a week or so later she’d been going around, holding hands with and making eyes at Jonathan Byers. Billy didn’t really see how that made her a good person, but apparently he didn’t know shit. He rubbed at his mouth with his left hand; his cast felt rough. “That why you hanging out with me all the time now?”

Harrington looked over and him and then started smiling. “No, I hang out with you when I get tired of that shit.”

“You fucking sweet-talker, King Steve.” Steve grinned at him. Billy started driving him back to his house. They got all the way back to Main Street and Steve said, “You know, I hawked a bunch of beers off my old man. You want to drink them with me and go throw rocks at Tommy H’s house?”

Billy absolutely did. “Okay,” he said.

* * *

  
Max was waiting for him at his car at the end of school the next day; they both got in without saying anything. Billy started driving them home. “You ain’t gonna tell me about your slumber party last night?” he asked her. “What you kids do, talk about your periods and paint your nails?”

Max ignored him; she laid her head against the windowpane. Goddamn if she wasn’t making him feel like total shit still. The thing about him and Max was that they weren’t brother and sister, but they’d been living with each other for going on four years now. They weren’t a real family but they had something in common anyway.

Usually they understood each other. They had to see each other all the time; they were both stuck. He didn’t know why her being in a stupid sulk was making him feel like a piece of shit right now; he’d said way worse to her. He thought about Harrington last night saying he was trying to be a good person.

Billy looked out at the road. “Max,” he said. “Ma-aaax,” he drawled when she didn’t answer him.

Max rolled her eyes over to him. “ _What._ ”

“I’m sorry, okay?” It sucked to say it.

“What are you sorry for?” She had her little scowl on her face; it was usually there.

“For whatever the fuck I said that made you mad,” Billy said. Max just looked at him. “For yesterday, okay?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Sorry, okay?”

“Okay.” Max pursed her mouth up and considered him. “I guess I’m sorry for asking you about your mom and making you get all weird.”

“I ain’t fucking weird,” Billy said. “I don’t like to talk about it, okay?”

“I know.” Max flung herself forward in her seat so she wasn’t all squashed up against the window anymore. “Lucas told me you drove El home last night. You met her for five minutes and you already like her more than me.”

“Who said I like you?” Billy demanded. Max almost smiled at him so he jabbed her in her side a little. “Who fuckin’ said it?”

When they got to the corner of their street, Neil was out in the yard with the lawn mower, scowling up a storm. Billy turned the car left instead of right and went straight back around the block. Max looked relieved. “You want me to drop you at the arcade?”

“I don’t have any money.”

“Okay. Wheeler central?”

Max made a face. “Why, so they can all ignore me to use their _stupid_ radio again?”

Apparently Maxine was still just a junior member of the creepy kid club too; Billy didn’t really care enough about the radio to ask about it. Max was now making one of her nicey nice faces at him. Billy glared back at her suspiciously. “Want to see a movie?” she asked him.

“Ha. Not if you don’t have any fuckin’ money,” Billy said. He drove them down to the theater anyway. He parked a couple blocks down and started walking up the main drag; Max bounced along next to him. They passed by the diner and Max pressed her face up against the big window by the door. She snagged the sleeve of Billy’s leather jacket as he went by her.

“Look, it’s Steve!” she said.

Of course it was Steve. “You want me to throw a parade?” Billy looked in the window too; Harrington was sitting at the breakfast counter and drinking a coffee. He had one of his collared shirt-and-tie combos on and his retarded Raybans sunglasses on.

“Should we go say hi?” Max asked. “He looks tired.”

Billy made a noncommittal noise that Maxine seemed to take for an affirmative; she latched onto his sleeve again and started leading him into the diner.

Billy let himself be led. He’d been out with Harrington til past one; he wouldn’t mind seeing him again. A little flicker of something was clicking away in his head but he pushed it down deep.

He and Max came and stood behind Steve looking at him. Steve was still hunched down around his coffee looking straight ahead; his green jacket was crumpled up on the empty seat next to him. He was folding a napkin up into a little square. There were three others folded next to him.

Billy leaned over. “Hey shitface,” he said into the back of his head.

“JE-SUS!” said Harrington and almost upset his coffee. He rolled his head back to stare at Billy and Max. “Oh, hey. Hey guys. What are you doing here?”

“Our dad is, like, on the warpath again so Billy’s taking me to a movie, do you want to come with us?” Max yapped.

“Maxine!” Billy said.

“ _What?_ ” Max looked like a gross gremlin child again.

Billy was counting to ten in his head. “Stevie here doesn’t need to hear about our wonderful home life, okay.”

“Okay, okay.”

Harrington swiveled around in his counter chair; he was looking at both of them with one of his unreadable expressions. He said after a moment, “You know what? I would love to see a movie with you guys.” He sounded so goddamn sincere that it made Billy feel weird as shit.

“Don’t you got work or something?”

“I leave at noon most Fridays,” Harrington said. “Perk of being the boss’s kid. What are we going to see?” Max was beaming.

Harrington put a few dollars on the counter and got a take-out cup for his coffee; he drank it as they walked down the street to the theater. The only thing playing until after five was that _Gremlins_ movie and some Woody Allen flick. _Gremlins_ had came out two or three years ago; Billy guessed it was just hitting Hawkins now.

At the ticket window, Harrington paid for their movie stubs as Maxine looked hopefully over towards the snack counter. “You really don’t gotta do that, man,” Billy said. He felt real weird hanging out at the movies with Harrington and Max. Even a month ago he never would have believed it.

“What?” Steve was already handing over his money. “I’d seriously be doing shit else, you guys are giving me something to do.”

Great, so now he was basically on a date with Harrington and his kid stepsister. Steve had paid so that made Billy the girl, didn’t it? Maxine could be their dedicated chaperon, he thought sarcastically, letting Max drag him over to the candy display. He bought her a large popcorn since she’d got them out with Harrington and all.

Billy kind of loved being at the movies; usually there was shit playing here in Hawkins so he hadn’t been too much. He’d gone to the theater just about every Saturday with his mom until he was about eleven. It was their favorite pastime and the best way to get away from Neil for a few hours. He’d even taken Maxine a couple times back in Cali. They’d seen more than just _Return of the Jedi_ together.

He sat at the end of the row close to the front; most people liked to sit in the back but that was for shit. Less people to piss you off in the front. He figured Max would sit next to him but Steve slid down beside him and Max scampered around them.

“Wish we could see this in 3D,” Harrington said, because he was some kinda fucking dork. “They played this last year too up until after Christmas.”

“Look, are you going to talk through this whole damn thing?” Billy asked him.

Harrington made one of his stupid faces at Billy; he was being a goddamn goofball again. “Proooobably.”

The movie started and really, Harrington didn’t talk his ass off too much. Billy was learning that Steve fed into it the more annoyed you got at him; the best way to stop him from saying his stupid shit was to ignore him or buy him a cheeseburger. On the screen, the little gremlins were wreaking havoc on the kitchen. Billy leaned over Steve. “Maxine,” he whispered. She looked over at him. “I didn’t know you were in a movie.” He pointed at one of the little monsters spinning in a blender.

“Screw you!” said Max. She had some popcorn falling out of her mouth. She pointed at the screen too; there was a big ugly fucker eating out of the trash can. “That one’s you.”

Harrington laughed at them. “You guys are fuckin’ adorable,” he said, grinning. Max scowled. Billy liked to think he didn’t scowl but he probably did too. He leaned back in his seat. Steve kept laughing real loud at the stupidest parts in the movie; he was like a live-action laugh track. It was pretty fuckin’ cute and pretty fuckin’ annoying.

“Want to meet up on Sunday night?” Harrington said to him as they were parting ways. It was almost six now and Neil was real hardcore about Max and Billy being on time for dinner when he was home. “We can meet at the diner and I’ll do your math homework.”

Billy still had shit else to do, he told himself. “Okay,” he said. He wondered if Harrington would still buy him a milkshake.

Maxine looked happy as they parted from Steve and walked down Main Street. She slid into the passenger seat of Billy’s car. “That was really fun,” she said. She looked at him like a gremlin and then smiled real cutesy. “Did you and Steve hold hands in the popcorn?”

“I hope you had a real fucking good time, I’m going to kill you in your sleep tonight,” Billy told her.

 

They met up at the diner on Sunday night and then Friday night, again on the following Sunday. Harrington was actually kind of teaching him shit; he didn’t feel so lost in class anymore.

The first Sunday night Steve had been staring at his papers for a real long time not saying anything. He drank his coffee. He ran his hands through his shiny hair. He furrowed his brow. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, okay.”

“What, ’s that bad?” Billy was feeling kind of defensive; he and Maxine had gotten to endure a whole weekend of Neil yelling at both of them about how goddamn stupid they were. Max had hid out in her room for most of Saturday and Billy’d gone to a party (sucked ass like everything else here in Hawkins, especially without Harrington there), but you couldn’t escape hearing it at dinner and shit. They were both waiting for Billy’s dad to go back on the road. Now Max was at the Wheelers’ and Billy was with Harrington.

“No, no,” Harrington lied his ass off. He ran his hands through his hair again. He drank his coffee (Billy didn’t know why he needed a coffee at eight on a Sunday night; then realized he was soundin’ like his mom in his head or some shit). “It’s not that bad!” he said, looking at Billy’s face. He was probably scowling or something. “Just, uh, funny story, okay I totally don’t remember how to do this shit anymore.”

Billy stared at him. “Are you serious?”

“What, I haven’t been in school!” Harrington said. “Who needs math? Okay, it is gonna come back to me.” He drank more of his coffee. “Did anyone ever tell you you have really bad handwriting? It really looks like you were having a seizure writing out problem three.”

“I probably was.” Math was for shit; it made his brain lock up. Kinda like Harrington.

“Hmmm.” Steve was chewing on his lip; Billy wasn’t looking at it. “Okay. Okay. I remember now. Uh, you’re kind of – just doing the problems backwards? You have to do what’s in the parentheses first.”

“Why?”

“That’s just, that’s the rules.” Harrington was looking at him like he was being funny. He was not being funny; math was for shit.

Billy took his paper back. “Okay, well. Who made the goddamn rules?”

“You’re like a little kid.” Harrington was laughing at him. “I don’t know, some old guy who’s been dead for like three hundred and fifty years.”

Billy wondered if people had really been suffering through Algebra II for three hundred years. It couldn’t be true. He bowed his head down and started redoing his problems. Harrington looked through his English book and pulled out some papers; he started reading Billy’s essay on _East of Eden_. After a couple of minutes, he said, “Hey, this is actually pretty good. Max write this for you or something?”

“Screw off,” Billy said. He was still writing out problem three. “The fuck Maxine wrote it. No, I wrote it myself, douchebag.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Harrington kept reading the paper. “I didn’t know you liked English.”

“I don’t.” He didn’t like English or school, anything about being in school. He liked books, some books.

“I always forget you’re in class with Nancy. I didn’t have O’Hearn last year, I was in retardo English.” Harrington smiled at the paper. “You got a lot of feelings about this Cathy lady.”

“I got a lot of feelings about my fist and your face.”

Harrington looked up at him; it made Billy feel weird. “Yeah, I remember.” He kept looking at him. “You know, you never said sorry to me.”

“I’m not sorry,” Billy told him. “I really thought you guys were doing some fucked up shit.”

Harrington stared at him. “We were doing some fucked up shit,” he said like a crazy person. “But not like whatever you think.”

“You don’t know what I think.” He thought about his dad grabbing Maxine’s arm back in the summer time; he thought about his dad grabbing her fucking face. _Fourteen years old and running with a pack of boys. Do you_ remember _what Billy did?_

Steve was still staring at him; he had the frown-wrinkle between his eyebrows again like when they’d been out on his porch steps. Other than that Billy didn’t know how he looked. He didn’t know why Harrington looked like that. He was hoping they weren’t about to get into a fight or some shit; he still hadn’t gotten his milkshake. Steve said, “You know, you – “ He broke off and stared at him some more. “Have you, like, ever trusted anybody not to be an asshole in your whole life?”

“Not really.” Billy shoved his paper at him. “That better or what?”

Harrington looked at problem three; he was making a great face. “Uhh. Okay. Not, not really.”

 

Halfway through the month Billy finally got his cast off; Harrington spent a long time at the diner holding his arm up next to Billy’s and comparing them. They were at Hathway’s again with Maxine and Henderson and the little Byers kid. The kids were giving Billy more intel on Elijane. Apparently two years ago she’d blown all the windows out at the goddamn supermarket; it’d been some big thing. They’d been showing a drawing of her on TV and saying she was a Russian spy. Billy could not goddamn believe it.

“She didn’t have any hair!” Henderson was yapping to him. “She tried to take her clothes off right in front of us after twenty minutes!”

The little Byers kid was sitting between Henderson and Max; he had eyes the size of saucer plates. He never talked too much; Billy couldn’t remember his name for shit. “She did?” he asked.

“Can’t imagine a girl _not_ wanting to take her clothes off in front of you after twenty minutes, Dustin,” Billy told Henderson sarcastically. Max laughed into her soda and Henderson made a face at him.

“Ha, ha, ha.”

Steve was squashed up real close to Billy comparing his forearm to his; he didn’t need to get so close. “How the hell is your arm still bigger than mine?” Harrington asked. “You couldn’t even work out for like three months.”

“I have a great metabolism. Can you stop fagging off on me for two seconds, I need to hear this shit about the kid,” Billy told him.

Harrington looked like a sulky bitch; he moved his arm away from Billy’s. “Wait, why didn’t she have any hair?” he asked Henderson.

Henderson made one of his gross sighing noises. “I’m _getting_ to that, I already told you like three times anyway!”

“Like hell you told me three times,” Steve said. He flicked his straw at Henderson and it bounced right off his face; the kid had no goddamn reflexes.

“Son of a bitch, Steve!” Henderson yelled his head off. Billy and Max ate the last of his fries while he was distracted. It made him yell even more.

* * *

 

One Friday after school Billy was fucking around in the parking lot with two of the kids from his shop class; he thought they might go out drinking. Maxine had actually found him at his locker and told him she didn’t need a ride home. She was going to that Beverly girl’s house again so Billy had fuck-all to do until he was supposed to meet Harrington at eight at the diner. He’d basically been waiting all week to meet Harrington at the diner. It was a real sad thing, thinking of that, how bad he’d been waiting.

It wasn’t the same as back in California and he didn’t feel the same. Everybody was so goddamn stupid here and they were all the same; there was never anything to do. At least back home he’d had Tracey and their friend Jack for a while; they were the only two people Billy’d ever been able to hold a goddamn conversation with. Now he had Maxine and Steve.

Harrington’s car pulled up alongside the curb. He honked the horn and waved at Billy; goddamn if he didn’t look like he was right out of a movie with his pristine BMW and his shiny hair and his stupid sunglasses on. He sure as hell still was a pretty boy rich boy but Billy could kinda see how he’d owned the school until he’d got all soft dating Nancy Wheeler.

Billy flicked his cigarette out and started heading over to Steve without even saying bye to the two assholes he’d been talking to. Apparently he only had eyes for Harrington or some shit. He leaned over into Steve’s window. “You lookin’ for me again?”

Steve smiled at him instead of looking annoyed; he seemed to be doing that more and more lately. “Yeah, I want to take you to get some goddamn tapes for your car, I’m tired of listening to you cry about the radio.” He paused for a second. “Know we’re not doing anything ‘til later, are you busy?”

Billy decided not to tell Harrington about his theories on the curse of Hawkins and the curse of POWER 99. He also decided not to tell Harrington about how he’d just made plans with the two guys from shop class. “I’m not busy,” he said. He walked around to the passenger side and got into the car.

Steve stared at him for a moment. “What happened to your eye?” he asked.

“The fuck you think happened to my eye?” This morning Neil and Susan had been going on and on about Maxine’s shitty science grades; Billy had made a smartass comment at the wrong time. Neil leaned over and cracked Billy real hard in the face real fast; Susan had started screaming her head off about _oh my god Neil, you can’t do that_.

It would’ve been better if she hadn’t started screaming. Maxine had gotten her toast ready at lightning speed and they’d rushed out to the Camaro. The stone from his dad’s new wedding ring had cut up Billy’s eyebrow and now by 3pm he had a real nice shiner.

Harrington was still staring at him. “It doesn’t matter, _Stella_ , I’m fine, okay,” Billy said.

“Okay. All right,” Harrington said finally. He had the frown-wrinkle between his eyes again. He drove Billy and himself out to Loch Nora to the record shop; it was about a fifteen minute drive off one of the state roads. It wasn’t like out in Riverside where they had secondhand stores and record shops on every corner, Billy told him.

“I know, I know, okay, Hawkins is for shit, right,” Harrington said. He was rolling his eyes; he’d heard Max and Billy going on about it for almost two months now. “So you gonna move back out there, you think?”

“I dunno, maybe. Maybe after I graduate or something.” Maybe if he finally ever finished paying off his old man all the money he owed him, Billy didn’t say. He missed California but there was shit left for him there too.

Steve was looking out at the road like a sweet responsible driver but he glanced over at Billy. “What about Max?” he asked.

“What about Max?”

“Nothing. I don’t know.” Harrington chewed on his lip. “How come you – you guys moved out here anyway? Max said it was her fault, she never really says why though.”

Huh. Billy felt kind of surprised – Maxine’d definitely never said it was her fault to _him_. “Wasn’t really her fault,” he said. It was probably the first time he’d said that, that it wasn’t her fault. “It was, uh, couple’a things. It was my fault.”

Harrington raised his eyebrows. When Billy didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he said, “So … ?”

Billy thought about it. He didn’t really want to think about it, didn’t want to say it. He guessed it was time for Emotional Car Confessions with Steve and Billy, part two. “Mostly it was my fault,” he said. “I had this – girlfriend. My girl, Tracey.” She was still his girl, even if he was a piece of shit. He said, “I got her, got her pregnant last year.”

Harrington’s eyebrows practically shot off his forehead. “Oh _shit,_ man,” he said.

“Yeah,” Billy said. “Yeah, yeah. It was pretty bad.” It was pretty bad, how he’d acted when he found out. Tracey’d called him for three days straight and been crying on the phone to him. _I don’t know, I don’t know what to do,_ she’d said. _Fucking get rid of it,_ Billy’d told her. Screamed at her, maybe. Jesus she’d been crying.

Steve was staring at him; his eyebrows were still shot all the way up, disappearing into his crazy hair. “What happened?” he asked. “Did she – have the kid or whatever?”

“No she didn’t have the kid, idiot,” Billy snapped. “I was, like – I was a real asshole to her. I fucking ignored her, told her to get rid of it. I didn’t … “ Billy made a face; goddamn he didn’t want to talk about this shit. “It was a while ago, it was like over a year ago now. I didn’t think about how it was for her. I just wanted her to fuckin’ go away.”

“Jesus.” Steve made a face.

“Yeah. I was a real prick to her.”

“I don’t know …oh man, I mean.” Harrington looked like he was trying to find the right thing to say; he was a real sweetheart. “I don’t – really, I don’t know how I’d act either. Seriously.”

“No, man,” Billy told him. It didn’t matter what the right thing to say was. For some reason it was real important that Steve understood what a piece of shit he was. “Look. Tracey was – okay, when my mom died, she and our one friend, they were the _only_ fuckin’ people who didn’t fuck off on me. She was always around. She was like the only – I didn’t need to do that. Treat her like that.”

“So what happened?”

“What happened?” Billy said. He almost laughed. “What happened. Well, Max fuckin’ heard me screaming my ass off at her on the phone one day. She picked up the line. She heard us talking and told her mom.”

Harrington made a great face. “Je-sus,” he said again.

“Yeah. Yeah it was real bad.” Max had already been on Neil and Susan’s shit list; she’d gotten caught on some private property, skating around an abandoned pool with her faggot friends. Billy knew she’d squealed on him to take the heat off of her. He didn’t say this to Harrington though. “My dad beat the holy shit out of me; he was gonna pull me out of school and make me marry her and shit.”

“Jesus,” Harrington said again. “So what happened to the – baby?” Christ Billy didn’t like him saying _the baby_. “Did she – “ he leaned over like a ten-year-old saying a swear word – “abort it?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “No she didn’t fuckin’ abort it. She lost it, like three days later I guess.”

“Jesus,” Steve said for the fourth time. He looked really overwhelmed.

“I guess it happens a lot,” Billy said. He decided not to tell Harrington he’d read like five articles about teen pregnancy since then. A lot of girls didn’t even know when they’d had miscarriages or that they’d even been pregnant. “She was real young. That’s why – my dad was so mad at me and all. She was like fifteen, almost sixteen. I was seventeen I guess.”

“That’s not that bad,” Steve said slowly.

Billy thought it was pretty bad. He’d known Tracey since they were kids; she was poor as shit like him and they’d both gone to the same broke-ass primary school before they’d been mainstreamed into the high school. He remembered snapping her bra strap and pulling her pigtails in sixth grade recess. She only had one parent like he did, after, and her mom was a fucking junkie; she’d had a lot of time to pal around with Billy once they’d both gotten to high school.

She was always that little girl with the wavy hair that had made him cookies and given him a card she’d written when his mom died. She’d always seemed real young to him; he’d always told himself that was why he felt so weird whenever they fucked. She acted like he was so goddamn weird when he didn’t want to have sex with her practically every fucking day or something. It was the worst part of their relationship. _Billy, Billy, I want you, don’t you want me? What’s wrong, what’s wrong._

He’d been so goddamn mad when she’d got herself pregnant. She hadn’t done it herself. He hadn’t wanted to fuck her so it was her fault.

He was such a piece of shit. God he’d screamed at her so much; he could still hear her crying and crying. She’d sounded like she was fucking dying or he was killing her or some shit, right over the phone. He realized he wasn’t answering Harrington and looked up again. “What?”

“I said, so what happened?”

“Oh. What, you mean, after my old man kicked the shit out of me a second time?”

Steve stared at him; he actually took both eyes off the goddamn road. He looked real sad and shit. “Yeah, after he kicked the shit out of you a second time.” Billy didn’t say anything for a long time, so Steve said, “Do you still talk to her?”

“No. No man, I couldn’t. I wanted to.” After Tracey’d lost the baby his dad had beat him so bad he couldn’t go to school for a whole week. By then Tracey wasn’t talking to him anymore and even Jack had said _stay the fuck away from her, stay the fuck away from her_. Then they’d packed their shit up in three weeks and moved here to bumfuck nowhere.

Harrington was still just staring at him. “Sorry,” he said.

Billy was the one who should be sorry (not to Harrington, though, he reminded himself). “It was a while ago,” he said. He felt like laughing again. “I told you I’m a real asshole, it’s what I’m best at.”

Steve made a face; he didn’t say anything for a while. Billy was pretty sure he was thinking about what an asshole he was. They got to the record store and Steve parked and stared at him. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Sure I’m okay,” Billy said. He was always okay. He said, “Look, I don’t really wanna – don’t, don’t tell anyone this shit, okay?”

“Who would I tell it to?”

“Okay,” Billy said. He rubbed at his mouth. “So you still want to go in or what?”

“Sure. Sure, yeah.”

They got out of the car and Steve clapped him on the shoulder; Billy almost jumped. He still wasn’t used to people touching him anymore. He guessed Maxine touched him sometimes but it didn't count; usually she was either punching him or dragging him around to make him buy her food.

He and Steve went into the record shop and Billy still felt weird as shit. Kind of shaky almost; he felt like he was going crazy. He said sorry to Tracey again for the millionth time in his head.

Harrington started acting like a goddamn goofball again, looking through tapes and pointing at posters on the walls. It was like a switch went off; Billy was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose to make him feel better. He thought again Harrington was a real sweetheart.

Steve flipped his sunglasses on and starting singing along to the stereo playing behind the counter. It was some fucking Madonna song; Max had it on tape.

“You’re killing me, man,” Billy told him. “Your brain needs some fucking rewiring.”

“I’m not that bad,” Steve said. “I like your Metallica band. I like your Def Leopard.” It sounded the same but Billy could fucking _feel_ him saying Def Leopard instead of Def Leppard; he rolled his eyes. A label caught his eyes and he moved over to one of the aisles and started flipping through the stacks of records.

Harrington leaned over Billy’s shoulder; he was too close as usual. “ _The Queen is Deaf?_ ” he said. Billy sighed internally for a thousand years. “Oh, _The Queen is Dead._ What’s that?”

“Man, you never heard of The Smiths?” Billy asked him.

“No. What is it, metal?”

Jesus. “No, it’s some faggy fuckin’ British shit,” Billy told him. “Tracey was crazy for this shit.” This was a new record: goddamn they put out like a record a year. Tracey was super in love with that Morrissey guy; Billy’d never seen a bigger fag in his life. “She liked all that mopey shit. Joy Division, that guy that kicked it. Echo and the, the Something Men. Nick Cave, he put out some crazy album. Probably what I fucking knocked her up to.”

Steve laughed and then looked guilty. “Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to laugh at that.”

“S’fine.”

Harrington was still too close to him; he was still leaned over Billy. Goddamn he felt so weird talking about the music Tracey’d made him listen to right after he’d told Steve all that horrible shit he’d done. “Yeah, I, I don’t know who any of those people are.”

He was still looking at _The Queen is Dead_ ; he took it out of Billy’s hands and flipped it over. His arms were around Billy’s shoulders for a couple seconds while he looked at the record sleeve and Billy felt some of Steve’s hair hit the side of his neck; Jesus he was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to feel this way about a guy. “Ooooh, cute, ‘Bigmouth Strikes Again?’ They write a song about you?”

“Fuck you,” Billy said. He bought The Smiths record; maybe Tracey was somewhere listening to it. Hopefully she wasn’t thinking about him like he was thinking about her. He apologized in his head again. He bought a couple of Def LEPPARD tapes too.

* * *

  
October 27th came; it was the day Billy’s mom had died. He got into two fights and his mom was still dead; it was a fucking terrible day and it was an awesome day. He hadn’t been in a fight for a while and it felt real good. Elijane floated someone into a trash can and Steve Harrington smoked a huge joint with him.

He woke up in the morning thinking about his mom and feeling like he had to go check on her; she might need some water. She might want to see him. Then he remembered he wasn’t in California anymore and she wasn’t staying in their extra bedroom and he wasn’t thirteen anymore. He rolled out of bed and took a shower. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time.

He took himself and Maxine to school; she squabbled on about some bullshit the whole ride there but he barely even heard her. She told him she didn’t need a ride home but that she was going to go to the arcade later with Henderson and Elijane; she told him he should stop by.

“Yeah, maybe,” Billy said. He wanted to see El-or-Jane again but he also didn’t really want to do anything, anything at all.

After school he had to go to work and it was probably the first time he really didn’t want to go to work. He had shit else to do though; he didn’t know what time Harrington got off of his job. Maybe he’d be at the arcade or something later too.

He sat outside of the shop for a couple minutes and smoked two cigarettes; he didn’t feel like going in and hearing Hank talk and talk. He didn’t feel like telling Hank he didn’t want to come in because his mom was fucking dead. He couldn’t tell him anyway. He smoked another cigarette; he was okay. He was okay he was okay. He was always okay. He wasn’t okay but he was all right.

He went on into the shop. Hank wasn’t even in tonight and his faggot brother was there; he usually came in once or twice a week to do the books. He had POWER 99 on on full blast and he floated over to Billy to give him his check and another big envelope.

Miles was smiling at him like a fairy; Billy hoped he wasn’t gonna say some queer shit and make Billy have to punch him. He stood there smiling at him while Billy sat down and opened his check. Hank always made him go over it with him to make sure he hadn’t short-changed him somehow.

“Really glad that my brother’s taken you on as an apprentice,” Miles said. “Sorry about the pay cut, though.” His check was a little less than half of what it normally was. Miles pushed the envelope over to him; Billy opened it and it was full of fives and tens.

“Oh,” Billy said. “Oh, shit. Right.” He chewed on his lip. “Thanks, man.”

Miles winked at him; Billy sighed internally again for a thousand years and managed not to make a face. Miles hovered over the counter with his fuckin’ bandana. He said, “Look, I know what it’s like to have a total asshole for a father.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. He felt real weird.

Miles floated off to the little office in the corner of the shop; thankfully he took the radio with him. Billy could still hear the fucking shit song that was playing. It was that ‘Higher Love’ song by Steve Winwood.

Billy got to work. He was changing a pair of front brake pads when there was a weird kinda sound from outside maybe, a weird thunking sound. Billy looked up and the big window that faced Main Street was streaked yellow. Then there was another thunk; Tommy Hall was standing out on the street like a fucking ten year old and throwing eggs at the shop.

Billy threw down the rusted-up rotor he was holding and went outside. Tommy Hall threw an egg at him and missed; he was probably drunk as shit like usual. “What the FUCK are you doing?” Billy said.

“I saw you and Steve Harrington the other night!” Tommy said. It was practically freezing out but he was wearing a muscle shirt with _The Terminator_ on it; Billy lamented his life over Tommy apparently liking _The Terminator_. “You shitbags! You broke my fuckin’ living room window! You guys go and jerk each other off after?”

“Fuck you,” Billy said. He felt real happy about breaking the window.

“You two faggots better watch yourself!” Tommy said. “Your fucking sister better watch herself too! Skateboard’s not as fast as a car!”

Being called a faggot was one hell of a thing, but goddamn _nobody_ was allowed to threaten Maxine: that was Billy’s job! He’d earned it! He stormed across the street towards Tommy; Tommy stood fucking staring at him like Billy wasn’t about to punch him in the face. Billy punched him in the face.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Tommy roared. He swung at Billy; Billy ducked it and punched Tommy in the face again. Then he slammed him up against the wall of the general store.

“The fuck you say about my sister?”

Tommy punched him in the face; it was a pretty good punch but Billy was used to getting punched in the face. He cracked his head against Tommy’s and Tommy went down. It had snowed a couple days ago, just an inch or two; and the slush got real red when Tommy spit in it. “You faggot,” he said. It was his favorite word.

“Man, you really don’t know when to shut your fucking mouth.” Billy grabbed him up by his jacket and slugged him again, a couple of times. “What. The fuck. Did you say. About Max.”

“Fuck you!” Tommy said; his words came out all mushy. Billy punched him until he wasn’t talking. He stopped before he knocked him the fuck out; he kept seeing Harrington’s face last year and that made him stop hitting him.

He threw Tommy on the ground again. Then he reached into Tommy’s jacket pocket and pulled out the big baggie of shitty Hawkins weed that he knew was there.

“Don’t threaten my sister again,” Billy told him. Then he said, too, “And leave Harrington the _fuck_ alone.” It was almost like saying sorry for last year; Steve’d never know about it. He pocketed the weed and left Tommy there bleeding in the snow and stormed back into the shop. Miles was standing out in the front by the counter and staring at him. He looked massively freaked.

“What the _hell_ was that?” he asked.

“Some guy called me a faggot and was threatening my kid sister,” Billy told him. He wiped at his nose; it was bleeding a little. He was used to his nose bleeding too. “He getting up or what?”

Miles looked past him out the egg-streaked window. “Yeah, he’s getting up.”

“He coming back?”

“I think he’s running to his car. Jesus he’s a bleeder!” Miles lisped.

Billy wiped at his nose again. “I’ll clean the window,” he said.

“Are you okay, Bill?”

“Sure.”

Miles held his hands up. He looked kind of overwhelmed. “I did not see a thing, then,” he said. He stared at Billy for a couple more seconds and then floated back into the office with his bandana.

Billy went outside and cleaned the window off; he cleaned his face off. Then he finished changing the brakes. He fucked around with the Pontiac and finally put the new battery in. It was the very last thing they had to do to it and they’d been saving it for no reason. Putting the battery it was a big deal; he felt kind of sad Hank wasn’t around. Then he went over to the office. He felt real fucking weird standing there. He always tried his hardest to never talk to Hank’s brother.

“I’m heading out,” Billy said. “I hung my keys up already. Thanks for, uh, thanks for the check and shit.”

“Sure thing.” Miles was still looking at him in a weird way; Billy was pretty sure he was going to tell Hank the whole thing and probably get Billy fired. At least he wouldn’t have to give his old man all the money from his last pay. “Have a good night, kid.”

Billy drove down to the arcade; he parked out on the street and stood in the parking lot, smoking for a few minutes before he went in. Henderson and Max and Elijane were standing around by some game and they all waved at him. Billy sat down at one of the little tables in the corner; he felt real mopey. After a couple of minutes Elijane wandered over to him.

“Hey kid,” he said. He tried to feel less mopey. “You play any games yet?”

“I played two games,” Elijane told him.

“Your dad or whatever actually let you out of the house for once?”

Elijane nodded. “He’s coming at nine,” she told him. It was a little after eight.

Billy didn’t really know what to say to her. He didn’t feel that jazzed up; he didn’t even want her to float a salt shaker. After all the shit Henderson’d told him a couple weeks ago he figured it was a pretty bad idea to make her float another salt shaker.

Elijane kept standing and looking at him with her weird x-ray vision; it made Billy feel like his back was prickling up. Then she stopped looking at him; he could feel her eyes leave him. He looked up too. She was looking over at Max and Henderson over by the Dig Dug machine. There were two older guys standing by them and it looked like Henderson was arguing with them; Billy guessed they wanted to play or something.

One of the kids pushed Henderson into the machine; Maxine got her trademark scowl on her face. Billy put his head in his hand and watched her start going off in her womanly hysteria. The guys laughed at her and Max started scowling even more.

Elijane was looking back and forth between the guys and Max and Henderson and Billy. Billy could hear Henderson yapping from all the way across the arcade. Elijane looked at Billy again; she looked like she was gonna shake right out of her oversized sweatshirt. “Should I do something?” she asked him.

Billy sighed heavily. Goddamn Maxine was always ruining his goddamn night. “No, I got it, kid,” he said in a resigned tone. He got up from the table and left El standing by herself.

The two guys looked like teenagers but Billy didn’t remember them from school; either they were from out of town or they were assholes who’d already graduated. One of them went and grabbed Max’s arm that she was waving all crazy. Max’s eyes bugged out of her head and Billy started walking faster; goddamn nobody was allowed to grab Max’s fucking arm either (even him; even though he’d done it). He grabbed the kid and pulled him off of Max. Then he spun him around and punched him in the face.

“AHHHH!” screamed Henderson like a fucking dumbass. Goon number two grabbed at Billy’s shoulder so he punched him in the face too. He went flying into the Dig Dug machine and Max started laughing her head off.

Henderson was yelling his head off and above him, Billy could hear the manager of the arcade hollering too. Billy punched the two goons out into the parking lot. They were some real skinny assholes and they didn’t stand a chance. He hadn’t been in a good fight in a while; Tommy Hall’s faggot ass didn’t count. Even Harrington’s ass last year didn’t really count: he’d gotten in about one good punch on Billy.

The guys fought Billy all over the parking lot; Billy was laughing his ass off. Henderson must’ve followed him out because he could still hear him hollering and whooping. Billy didn’t know what kinda guys grabbed a little kid’s arm at the arcade and thought they were tough.

He punched Thing Number One to the ground and was about to throw Thing Number Two onto the hood of a Jeep when a third guy came up from behind him and started punching him in the back of the neck. Billy reared his arm around to elbow him off of him but then there was a weird rush of air that went all the way through him, almost like some kinda electric current. It made his hair stand on end and then his elbow met with nothing but air. There was a huge metallic clatter and then everyone started screaming their heads off.

Thing Number Two slid out of his grasp and starting screaming; Thing Number One was scrabbling up and falling in the snow. Billy turned around and looked for the third guy. He didn’t see him; there were just a couple kids standing around by the door of the arcade staring. Max and Henderson and Elijane were in the front of the crowd. Elijane’s nose was bleeding a little (Billy was pretty sure his nose was bleeding a lot) and Billy remembered Max and Steve telling him the shit on her. _Her nose bleeds when she moves real heavy stuff._

His gaze followed Thing One and Two; they were helping their friend out of the dumpster on the side of the arcade.

“HOOOOLY SHIT,” Billy yelled like a little kid. He pushed himself up off the hood of the Jeep and almost slid in the snow. Max and Henderson were rushing over to him; Elijane followed at a more sedate pace. There was a lot of lights and a lot of yelling; Billy was pretty sure the cops were going to pull up in about five minutes.

“HOLY SHIT!” Henderson screamed too. He was really loud. “SON OF A BITCH! THAT WAS SO AWESOME!”

“Shut up, Dustin!” Max commanded him; her big bug eyes were sparkling though. “Billy, Neil is gonna kick your ass!”

“HAHAHAHA,” Billy said. “ELIJANE, DID YOU FUCKIN’ DO IT!”

“ _Ellie-Jane?_ ” Henderson said.

“I put him in the trash can,” Elijane said. She wiped her nose; she wasn’t bleeding too much.

“Jesus, El, people probably saw!” Max yapped.

“IT WAS SO COOL!” Henderson screamed.

Too many kids were talking. Billy wiped his nose; it hurt a lot. He was bleeding a lot into the snow, probably too much. There was the sound of a car pulling up real close to them and Billy figured it was the Sheriff; when he looked up all he saw was Harrington’s BMW. Steve got out of the car real quick.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” he screamed; it was real familiar.

“HI STEVE!” Henderson said. His volume was broken at ten. “You are really late, Billy fought three guys and El put someone in a trash can.”

“WHAT?” screamed Steve. That was familiar too.

The arcade manager was yelling too and helping Goon Number Three out of the dumpster; he started pushing all the guys around. Max and Henderson ran off to do damage control and yell their heads off some more; Elijane stood still staring at Billy and Steve.

“Jesus Christ, you are bleeding a _lot_ ,” Steve said. He was wearing one of his preppy Oxford shirts and he started unbuttoning it. “Why the hell did you fight someone, what are you – Eleven!” he said like he was just noticing her. “Did you really put someone in a trash can?”

“It was a dumpster,” Billy said.

“It was a dumpster,” Elijane told him, real serious.

Steve sighed. “Oh my fucking god,” he said. Then he took off his Oxford shirt and pulled his t-shirt off right in the parking lot. He was real skinny.

Elijane and Billy stared at him. “What the fuck are you doing?” Billy said.

“I’m too turned on,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “Jesus. I’m giving you my shirt, fucking dumbass.” He tossed the t-shirt at Billy’s face, then shrugged back into his collared shirt.

“Oh,” said Billy. He crumpled the t-shirt up and wiped his face with it. It was a black shirt so the blood blended right in. “What’re you doing here?”

“I figured you guys would be here.” Harrington was looking over his shoulder; the collar of his shirt was warped all crazy. “Why’d you get into a fight? Jesus you look like shit.”

“These guys were fucking with Max.” Billy leaned against the Jeep and watched his blood trickle down into the slushy snow. He could hear sirens in the distance.

Harrington looked real crazy. “What happened? Who was it?”

Elijane wiped her nose again, then put her hands in her baggy sweatshirt pocket.  She looked around; she was ignoring Steve like usual. “I think – Jim’s coming soon.” It was real weird to hear her call the Chief Jim. She looked like a little kid for the first time Billy’d really seen. She said, “I’m going to get grounded _again_. You should go soon.” She wandered off through the slushy parking lot towards the crowd around the dumpster; Henderson was laughing and he slung his arm around her shoulder.

Harrington looked real crazy still. “Why does this whole situation not surprise me?” he said. Then looked annoyed and he said, “Jesus, do you not know how to stop a nosebleed? Tilt your head back, you stupid fuck.”

“What?” Billy said. He’d been watching Elijane and he felt pretty dizzy. Steve snatched his t-shirt away and stood real close to him. Billy tried to back away and almost slid off the Jeep. Steve grabbed his shoulder.

“Tilt your fuckin’ head back,” he said again, so Billy did. Steve put the t-shirt over his face and pinched his nose.

“Ow!”

“Hurts, don’t it?” Steve said like an asshole. He said for a second time, “God, you’re bleeding a _lot_.” He had some blood on his shirt now somehow; it was probably Billy’s blood. He looked like a goddamn vision again.

“It’s just my nose,” Billy managed. He still felt pretty dizzy and Steve was way too close to him. “This’s like the third time I got punched in the face today.”

“Your dad hit you again or something?”

“No,” Billy said. It sounded like _doe_. “I got ‘n a fight with Tommy Hall at work. He threw an egg at the shop and called me a faggot.”

Steve laughed in his face. “Oh my god, you’re fucking crazy,” he said. He was still standing so close to him and his arm was on Billy’s shoulder now. His hair was all crazy from when he’d taken his shirt off and he was grinning. He had blood on his collar and Jesus God Billy wanted him.

It wasn’t the first time he’d thought it or wanted him. Billy guessed that he’d known it before; he knew he wanted him. Steve had laughed at Billy about a hundred times in the last couple months and told him he was crazy about a hundred times and Billy’d wanted him, shit he wanted him.

It wasn’t really a thought this time though. It crashed through his whole body like the electricity that’d gone through him and Billy couldn’t even talk. He didn’t even know what the fuck he wanted. He just wanted.

Harrington was taking his hand off his shoulder and was looking around. “We should probably go,” he said. The sirens were getting louder. “Where’s your car?”

Billy just stared at him. He was rooted to the spot.

Steve leaned in at him all crazy. “Hello? Billy, Billy? Bills? Brain damage? Where’s your fuckin’ car?”

“On the. On the street.”

“Okay, good.” Harrington put his arm back on Billy’s shoulder and started leading him around to the side of his car. “We can come back for it later or something. I don’t really think you should be here. Let Hopper deal with it.”

“Okay,” said Billy. Right now he’d probably say _okay_ to anything Steve wanted. He let Harrington push him into the passenger seat. Then he said, “Wait, did you call me _Bills?_ ”

Harrington closed the door. “What, you don’t like it?”

He got into the driver’s side and turned the BMW around. “Okay, we are being super casual!” he said as he pulled around through the lot. He drummed his hands on the steering wheel. “Okay okay, cop cars. I just want a goddamn burger. I am just driving home.” They passed two cops cars and Hopper’s police chief Jeep. “Did you really fight Tommy Hall?”

“I been waiting to fight Tommy Hall all year,” Billy said. He thought about Tommy saying, _You guys go and jerk each other off after?_ Jesus.

“You are seriously out of your mind,” Steve told him. “You know his mom basically runs the town, right?”

“Thought your daddy ran the town.”

Harrington rolled his eyes. “Okay, _after_ him.”

“I don’t give a fuck about Tommy Hall,” Billy said. He peeled Steve’s t-shirt off his face; he was pretty sure his nose had stopped bleeding.

Steve was glancing over at him. “Man, you look like total shit.” He was a real sweet-talker; he knew just what to say.

“I feel like total shit,” Billy told him. “Also I stole all of Tommy’s weed.”

Steve stared at him and then started laughing again. “Oh my god,” he said. “What are you going to do with it?”

Billy stared back at him like he was stupid. “Well, I plan on smoking like half of it right now,” he said slowly. He said before he could help himself, “My mom died today, so.”

“Oh,” said Steve. His mouth made a weird shape. “Oh, shit. Okay.”

Billy didn’t know why he’d said that. He chewed on his lip; it hurt real bad. He was looking out past the dashboard at the road. “So do you wanna smoke a joint with me?” he asked.

“Yes,” Steve said right away. He turned his car left down Redwood Lane; he was still staring at Billy. “Yes, sure, absolutely, I will totally smoke with you. You don’t even have to give me a hit, I will just watch you smoke it.”

“You can have a hit,” Billy told him. He tried to wipe his nose; it hurt real bad too.

Harrington drove them out to the woods. Billy guessed he was finally a cool kid.

 

Steve dropped him back at car and Billy drove himself home past eleven-thirty; it was a Monday night so it was late but not too late. He got out of the Camaro and looked at his house for a moment before he went in. All the lights were on and he was pretty sure he was about to catch holy hell. Honestly he was surprised his dad hadn’t gone looking for him, or been waiting outside.

Inside Neil and Susan were yelling their heads off and they didn’t even bother to look over at him when he opened the door and came in. Billy stood there for a couple seconds, looking at them, but they just kept going on and on like he wasn’t even there. He figured the cops hadn’t been here yet. He wasn’t sure how the cops hadn’t been here yet but he wasn’t about to question it. He swept past Susan and his old man and went into his room.

He closed his door and laid down; he could still hear them going at it though. He felt pretty restless and he was still a little high. His mom was still dead. Harrington was still some kinda beautiful. He decided it was a real bad night after all.

He opened his window and climbed outside. Then he boosted himself up onto the roof. What little snow there was had melted off, and he stretched out and laid there looking up at the sky. Hawkins was eternally for shit but you could see a lot of stars out here. He laid there looking for a while, listening to Neil and Susan scream at each other. He smoked a cigarette. He didn’t want to think about his mom so he thought about Steve for a little bit. It was okay to just think about him for a little bit.

He heard another window open below him and then Maxine was climbing out too. She came over and looked up at him, then starting climbing up the gutter too. It shook like crazy because she had no moves; Billy pushed himself off his back and gave her a hand up.

Max sat next to him with a thump. Billy laid back down. “Sorry for not giving you a ride,” he said. It was the first time all night he’d thought of it.

“That’s okay,” Max said. “Hopper drove me and Dustin home. He is _really mad_ at El. He smoked like three cigarettes.”

“So?” Billy asked her. “What happened? Am I under arrest or what?”

“No. At least I don’t think so. Hopper took care of everything in like five minutes. He threw that guy against the trash can again too.” Billy laughed a little and Max looked real jazzed up. “Thanks for helping me and Dustin,” she said. “You totally could have taken that third guy!”

“Yeah, I know.” Billy smoked more of his cigarette. He didn’t feel like pointing out that he had definitely _not_ been helping Henderson.

“Where’d you and Steve go?”

“Drove around.”

They’d gone out to some clearing and sat on the hood of Steve’s BMW; Billy couldn’t believe that he was sitting on the hood of a car that was worth more than Billy’s life. Just the hood was worth more than his life. Harrington had coughed a lot smoking the joint that Billy’d rolled; Billy hadn’t felt like making fun of him. He’d asked Billy, _Do you want to talk about your mom?_

Billy hadn’t wanted to talk about his mom. Then he’d gotten high and wanted to talk about her. He hadn’t said too much. He hadn’t said too much, he didn’t think. He told Steve that he woke up sometimes thinking he had to check on her. He told Steve that she’d started screaming in her bed sometimes, near the end. It’d hurt her too bad. It was so bad, hearing her scream like that. After he’d used to ride his bike down to the hospital and go to see her. One night he hadn’t gone; she’d died like four days later. He should have gone to see her. He’d said, “I miss her, you know?”

“Sure,” Steve had said. He was leaned up all close again and he’d put his hand on Billy’s shoulder. He didn’t have to do that. “Sure, man. I know.”

Max was sitting Indian-style and looking at him. “Are you guys like friends now?” she asked him.

“No,” said Billy. He said, “I don’t know.”

Max just looked at him, then she laid down too. Billy was glad that she wasn’t asking him twenty questions about Harrington. She asked instead, “Can I have one of your smokes?”

“No. Cigarettes kill you, Maxine.”

Max lolled her head and looked at him until he turned his head and looked at her too. She made one of her gross gremlin faces. “You smoked like _two_ whole packs since Friday.”

“That’s different.”

They laid on the roof and listened to their parents scream at each other. Susan was locking Neil out of the bedroom; it was this huge production that they’d been doing for the last couple weeks since Neil’d been home. Susan slammed the door real hard and the whole house shook. Billy had a vision of him and Max crashing right through the floor.

“JUST OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AND TALK TO ME!” Neil screamed.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Susan screamed back. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” She slammed the door again.

Max was scowling. Billy wasn’t looking at her but he was pretty sure she was scowling. She usually was. “How long they been going on like this?”

“Since before I got home,” Max told him. “Since like nine I guess.”

“They got some fucking lungs.”

Max scoffed. She kicked one of her legs against the gutter. “I _hate_ your dad,” she said.

“Join the club.” It was a real exclusive club; it was even more exclusive than the creepy kid club.

“I _hate_ my mom, too,” Max said.

“She’s okay.”

“No she’s _not,_ ” Max scoffed. “She married your dad, didn’t she? She’s _stupid_. I _hate_ her.”

“Don’t say that fucking _shit,_ ” Billy told her. “Your mom’s okay.”

He must’ve sounded some kinda way. Max sat up again and looked at him. Billy flicked some ash off his cigarette; he held it up above him and looked at the cherry burning out.

Max kept looking at him; she almost had some type of x-ray vision like Elijane. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I guess I don’t mean it. I don’t know what I’d do if she wasn’t – “ She stopped.

“Yeah,” Billy said.

“Sorry.” Max flopped back onto her back. They laid and listened to their parents yell for a long time. Max pulled her Walkman out of her pocket and cranked the little radio up; they got the classic rock station out here but it was real fuzzy. They listened to Creedence Clearwater Revival; they were okay.

* * *

 

Halloween fell on a Friday night this year; it was some kinda miracle even though Billy didn’t care about Halloween. He took Maxine to the diner and then at eight sharp he drove her and Sinclair over to the Wheelers. They were wearing some kinda matching costumes and they looked lame as shit, Billy made sure to tell them three times. Freshmen were too old for costumes.

Max was rolling her eyes at him and getting out of the car; apparently he couldn’t even piss her off properly anymore. He was getting too soft. Max leaned in the passenger window and smiled at him, quirking her eyebrows. “Try to not get into a fight tonight, I don’t think your ugly face can handle any more trauma,” she said sweetly. Billy blew some smoke from his cigarette at her.

He watched Max and Sinclair scurry across the lawn; Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers were out on the steps all queer with their arms around each other. Billy blew some smoke at them too.

He threw the Camaro back into gear and drove back down to Main Street; he had shit to do. He passed Hopper and a cute little sheet-ghost that he presumed was Elijane walking down towards the Wheeler’s house; Hopper looked real resigned and was carrying Elijane’s plastic pumpkin. He looked up at Billy as he drove by and gave him a very threatening nod.

After school on Tuesday Hopper’d been waiting outside in the parking lot for Billy in his Jeep. “Think you and me ought to take a ride,” he’d said. Billy had bet the Sheriff had a million places in town to dump a body but he’d climbed in next to him anyway.

“I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you,” Hopper’d said. He was glaring out at the road like a huge bear and he’d been smoking like four cigarettes at once. Not really but he might well have been. “Hair boy told me that you were all right. I just get so goddamn busy. Do you know how many damn hairbows a little girl needs, Hargrove?”

“Yes sir,” Billy’d said.

“At least twelve.” Hopper’d looked like a man consigned to his death. He’d said, “I think I owe you a thanks for your discretion with my daughter.”

Billy had been shocked out of his goddamn mind. “Yes sir,” he’d said.

“I assume you’re like halfway up to speed and I can spare you the bullshit.”

“Yes sir.”

“So I’m cutting you some fucking slack, kid,” Hopper told him. “You know you’re a real asshole? Those kids you punched up wanted to press charges against you.”

“Yes sir,” Billy’d said. At least in prison he wouldn’t have to deal with his dad. He’d thought again surely there’d be some coke in the Indiana State Peneteniary. Smoking pot with Steve and looking at his hair all pretty in the moonlight was great and all but there had to be some coke in Indiana State.

“Well, they changed their tune real quick when they found out one of the kids they were messing with was the police chief's daughter.”

“They see her put that guy in the trash can?”

Hopper’d glared at him. “I took care of it,” he said, real gruff. He probably had like eight bodies in his trunk. “You know, if you go off and beat the shit out of Tommy Hall anymore, I can’t take care of it again,” he’d warned Billy. “At least wait til it’s full dark out, kid.”

“Yes sir,” Billy’d said.

Hopper’d drove him around and threatened him a lot. He’d shown Billy some of the paperwork he had on Elijane; he had a lot of paperwork. Billy didn’t really understand half of it. He already knew she was goddamn Carrie White.

Hopper’d said, “She can do a lot more than put some guy in a dumpster. If you tell anybody about what she can do, I’m just gonna let her take care of you.”

“Yes sir,” Billy’d said. He felt it probably wasn’t a smart thing to tell the chief that he was gonna marry his kid one day.

The chief had dropped him back off at his car. “Good talk,” he’d said. He’d smoked like six more cigarettes at once and then drove away. Billy’d stared after him.

That’d been like three days ago though. Yesterday Steve and Henderson had met Billy at Hathaway’s and made him tell them the story like four times. Steve even bought him a milkshake and Henderson’d laughed his ass off at Billy saying the chief had smoked six cigarettes at once.

Anyway now it was Halloween night. He was going to another party with Harrington; he was real jazzed up about it. Booze and Steve and girls in slutty costumes. Unfortunately Steve was not going to be wearing a slutty costume but Billy’d take what he could get.

Billy’d driven over and he was standing in Steve’s room watching him get ready. He wasn’t watching him that much; he was looking around Steve’s room. His room was real big and he had a TV in here. He had an Atari _and_ a Nintendo; Maxine would shit her pants. Billy made a mental note to tell her later.

Steve fluffed his hair in his mirror for the 80th time. He was already wearing his faggy sunglasses. “Who’re you dressed up as, Billy Idol?” he asked. He didn’t even sound like he was kidding.

“That’s real cute,” Billy said. He was wearing his leather jacket but he couldn’t pass for Idol; he didn’t have the cheekbones. “Who are you, Farrah Fawcett?”

“Ha ha,” said Steve. He gave Billy a kind of weird look in his mirror. “Um … you been talking to Dustin?”

“Why you wanna insult me?” Billy demanded. Steve laughed again. He finally finished fucking with his hair.

“Do I look okay?” he asked.

Billy thought he looked worth about a million bucks. “Jesus, can we go?”

“Okay okay.” They went out to Billy’s car and Steve gave him directions. They started driving.

Harrington was fucking with the radio; he put on POWER 99 and looked at Billy’s face to gauge his reaction, then grinned. Then he stopped grinning. “I saw Nancy and Jonathan earlier when I dropped Dustin off,” he said.

“Yeah, I saw ‘em too.”

Steve instantly looked all broken up about them. He said, “Do you think they’re sleeping together?”

Billy stared at him: Harrington could not be that big of a goddamn moron. Actually Billy was pretty sure that Nancy and Byers had probably been boning before she’d even dumped Steve; he really didn’t want to say that to him though. He didn’t know why he didn’t want to say it. “Man, I don’t know. I bet Byers has got a real pretty pussy.” Steve just looked depressed instead of laughing at Billy’s supreme humor.

The party was at the house of some guy who’d graduated two years ago; Billy didn’t know him but Steve said he was cool. Once they got inside Billy lost track of Harrington pretty quick. He was in a good mood and there were lots of people to talk to. There was a lot of booze too. Billy counted six slutty nurses and four sexy devils, also a girl in a pretty realistic werewolf costume which wasn’t sexy but Billy gave her props for. He did some shots with werewolf girl and then went off to find Harrington.

Steve was in the den where there was less people, taking up space on a couch. He had covered himself in pillows and was watching the TV. He also had like four jackets on him; Billy wasn’t sure why.

“Man, what are you _doing?_ Didn’t you come here to have fun?”

“I am having fun,” Steve said. He pointed at the TV. “Look, _It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown_ is on.” Billy managed not to make a comment. Steve stared at him. “You’re having fun, right?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Okay then.” Some guy dressed as Michael Myers walked by and dropped his jacket on Steve; Steve gave him a thumbs up.

“Okay, so are you like the designated coat rack tonight?”

“I guess so. I’ve been going through all the pockets.” Steve grinned.

“You get a lot of candy?”

“Actually yes. I got a pack of smokes too, you want them?” Steve handed them over to him; they were Chesterfields which were all right.

“Okay, I guess you can watch my jacket too.” Billy threw his leather jacket in Steve’s face; he laughed when Steve sputtered. He left Steve to be a coatrack and wandered back into the kitchen. He counted three sexy teachers and two devilish angels. One girl was dressed as Velma from _Scooby-Doo_ so Billy drank a beer with her. He’d always thought that Velma was a hip, hip lady, really; he had always preferred her over Daphne.

He went back and checked on Steve; Steve was kinda like his charity case tonight, it seemed. He didn’t know why Harrington had taken him to a party if he didn’t want to be at a party.

Steve was still on the couch and he had at least seven jackets and a huge bottle of vodka now. It was half-empty; Billy was hoping it hadn’t been full when Harrington’d started with it. Harrington was also wearing Billy’s leather jacket.

“No, no no, no, man, we’re not doing that,” Billy told him. “Take my jacket off.”

“What?” Steve laughed at him. He was clearly drunk; he popped the collar of Billy’s jacket and looked like a huge douchebag. He slid his sunglasses down on his nose. “Hey there. Name’s Billy. Billy Hargrove.”

Billy leaned against the doorframe and laughed at him. “Okay, all right. That’s pretty good.”

“This place is a reeeeal shithole, did you know I’m from California? I don’t see no waves out here, man,” Steve went on; he was still imitating him. He pointed his bottle at a short kid walking by them. “You’re dead, kid!”

The kid gave Steve a real weird look. Billy laughed at him. “You’re a piece of shit.”

Steve drank from his vodka bottle; Billy stared at his neck when he titled his head back. Then he turned and walked back out of the den without saying another word to Harrington. He was at a party, he told himself. He was at a party and there were tons of girls here; he didn’t need to start that shit. That Steve shit, whatever it was.

Billy went back out into the kitchen; he went out into the backyard and smoked a couple of his harvested Chesterfields with two guys from his math class. In the living room he drank some more beers and did some shots. He counted two sexy black cats, three slutty librarians, and someone dressed as Sandy from _Grease,_ pre-leather bodysuit at the end. He drank a beer with Sandy from _Grease_.

Then he started to feel kind of guilty for abandoning Harrington in the living room; he was probably buried under like eighty coats or something and flushed with alcohol poisoning. He kind of felt like he was the Grinch or some shit, even though it wasn’t Christmas yet. He was the Grinch and Maxine and Harrington were like those little weird people-types – Billy didn’t remember what they were called – banging away on their toys and making his heart grow three sizes or some shit. He was getting too soft.

Man he was drunk. He couldn’t believe he was thinking about some cartoon at a party. It wasn’t even _Scooby-Doo_ or Maxine’s favorite, _Thunder Cats._

Billy went back into the den and jumped onto the couch beside Steve; he really was buried under like eighty coats. He was at least sitting up now, though. He was still wearing Billy’s leather jacket.

“What you doing, man?” Billy said.

Steve leaned over and looked at him. He looked like he’d drank a lot of vodka; he’d passed over the goofy drunk stage and sped straight to maudlin. He reached out and grabbed Billy’s arm and looked at him; Billy had a long line of lipstick smears on his forearm from girls doing tequila shots off his arm. He thought he had lipstick on his neck too from some girl being real bold.

Steve inspected the line of lipstick kisses. He ran a finger down Billy’s wrist, dead center, smearing them. It basically felt like he was electrocuting Billy’s whole body; he went really still and stared at Steve.

“This is a _lot_ more than I ever got,” Steve said.

Billy licked his lips. “Ah, don’t feel too bad, Harrington,” he said. “You were off the market for a while, right? I’m still basically the new guy. I’m real exotic, you know.”

“I guess so.” Steve was frowning at Billy’s forearm; he was still holding his wrist. Then he looked up at him. “You know,” he said. “Tonight is the anniversary of when we first met.”

“Oh yeah. I guess so.” Billy pulled his arm away; Steve let it slide out of his grasp.

“This is _also_ the anniversary of the night that Nancy told me she didn’t love me,” Steve informed him. He looked real serious and very drunk. “It is a great night. And I – you know, sometimes I feel like you started off all this bad luck for me.”

Billy felt bad; he was pretty sure Harrington was drunk and kidding but he still felt bad. He hadn’t known Nancy’d told him she didn’t love him or whatever. She was really crazy. Henderson’d told Billy that Nancy and Harrington had gone out for almost a year. “Sorry,” he said.

“No, don’t be sorry, man,” Steve said. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that. I don’t even know what I’m fucking saying anymore.”

“Okay, so do you like wanna go?” He was pretty sure Steve had drank that whole bottle; he didn’t see it anywhere around.

“No. Maybe. Yeah. No, I’m good. Aren’t you having fun?”

“It’s okay,” Billy said. It was almost one in the morning anyway; he didn’t exactly have a curfew but his dad probably wouldn’t be too happy with him if he came in at like four am covered in lipstick. “Anyway you know what, I feel like the cops are probably gonna show up here real soon, I got a real sixth sense about that kinda bullshit.”

“For some reason I actually believe you.” Steve tried to sit up; he knocked like four coats to the floor. Then he made a face and sank back into the couch cushions. He sighed loudly. “Just leave me here to die,” he said.

“Jesus Christ.” Harrington was a dramatic bitch. Billy put his arm around Steve’s shoulder – he guessed it was okay to do that – and helped him up. “You really want to go?”

“Sure. I don’t care.” He was leaning on Billy’s shoulder; he turned and looked at him. “I don’t care about anything, man. I don’t. Care. You know?”

“I sure do!” Billy told him encouragingly. Like usual he didn’t really have a clue what Harrington was going on about.

They got out of the house and walked back down the block to where Billy’s car was parked. Harrington still had his leather jacket on; he looked cool as shit and Billy didn’t have the heart to take it off him.

In the car Harrington put POWER 99 back on and laughed at Billy’s face for a long time. He stretched out in the seat and watched Billy while he drove them down the block. Then he reached over and touched Billy’s arm; he was wearing his Metallica shirt that he’d cut the sleeves off of. “Hey, you got a birthmark,” Steve said. He poked Billy’s shoulder. “I never noticed this one before.”

“Didn’t know you were lookin’.”

“Hmm.” Steve said. He scrunched up his face. “This looks like a … “ He scrunched up his face a little more. “New Mexico.”

Billy laughed without meaning to. “Oh yeah? It looks like a New Mexico?”

“Your _face._ Is a New Mexico,” Harrington told him like a philosopher.

Jesus, he was so fucking drunk. Billy tried real hard not to think of ways he could take advantage of this situation; he guessed he was trying to be a good person too. He drove Steve home like a responsible boyfriend and then helped him into his house. Harrington stumbled all over his damn living room and Billy could hear Luke and Leia barking their heads off in the backyard. He was surprised out of his goddamn mind that Harrington’s parents didn’t come out of their room to see what the fuck was going on. At least Steve wasn’t covered in lipstick like Billy was.

He deposited Steve onto his bed; he thought once again that he was a responsible boyfriend. He was making himself roll his eyes. Steve stared up at him; he squinted and closed one eye. “You look like a painting,” he told Billy.

Billy made a great face at him. “What, a Picasso?”

“No, like those naked guys on the ceiling.”

“Uhhh.” Billy stared at him. His mind went perfectly, purposefully blank. “The fuckin’ Sistine Chapel? Michelangelo?”

“Man, I don’t know who painted it,” Steve said. He’d closed his eyes; he looked like a real angel too. “Da Vinci?”

God he was dumb. He was pretty cute. “Okay, I am going!” Billy announced. It was probably for the best that he get the fuck out of here. “You okay, you gonna puke on my fucking jacket?”

Harrington made a face; he didn’t open his eyes. “No, I’m not gonna puke. I might actually sleep for once.”

“Okay. Well. See ya later.”

“Okay,” Harrington said. He said, “Billy.”

Billy stopped in the doorway; he turned around a little. “What?”

“I planted my feet like you told me.”

Steve was real crazy. He was probably missing like ten screws in his head. He was still real cute though. “Okay, Harrington,” Billy said. “See you later. Try not to dream about me, kay?”

“Okay.”

“Want me to turn your light off?”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Billy went out into the hall; he looked around surreptitiously for any signs of life from Harrington’s parents but the hall remained dark. He went back outside and leaned against his car. It was real cold out but he felt okay. He stared up at the light in Steve’s window and smoked a cigarette. He wasn’t even drunk anymore. He didn’t want to go home to his house; he didn’t want to go home, even if Maxine was around to lay out on the roof again.

He smoked his cigarette and looked up at the light in Steve’s room. He looked at it for a while. He wished he could’ve stayed.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s _not_ singing about a guy,” Billy said. “You nitwit. They ain’t gonna put some song like that on the radio.”
> 
> “Yes they would! He’s singing about a guy and having wet dreams about him, it’s called subtext Billy.”

 

**Chapter Four**

 

 _Now here I go again_  
_I see the crystal visions_  
_I keep my visions to myself_  
_It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams_  
_Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?_  
_Dreams of loneliness, like a heartbeat:_  
_Drives you mad_  
_In the stillness of remembering_  
_What you had ... and what you lost_  
_And what you had and what you lost_  
_Thunder only happens when it's raining_  
_Players only love you when they're playing_  
_Women, they will come and they will go_  
_When the rain washes you clean, you'll know_  
\- ‘Dreams,’ Fleetwood Mac

 

 

**November 1986**

Saturday morning Neil got Max and Billy up early and they made breakfast with Susan. Billy didn’t really mind getting up early or making breakfast with Susan; the fact that his dad was forcing Max and him to do so was definitely something he minded. Anyway he was sure that one day there’d be some kinda day where Susan didn’t burn the damn eggs. Surely there’d be one day. Susan’s eyes were real red though so Billy didn’t bitch his head off.

He and Max were just sitting down at the table and fighting over the first Eggo when the phone rang. Billy’s old man was closest to where it was hanging on the wall; he picked it up and said hello. He didn’t say anything for a long minute and he just stared dead at Billy. He had that look in his eyes that made them go really hard and cold; it was like gazing into the blade of a steel knife. Then he pulled the phone away from his ear and said, “Some guy calling for you.”

Billy got up and went to pick up the line in the living room; Maxine was making a face like a fish. He stretched the cord out as far as it could go and leaned out against the back of the couch. “Yeah?”

“I just want you to know I threw up all over myself at 4am,” Harrington said into the line. Billy smiled without meaning to.

“Oh yeah? You get it on my fucking jacket?”

“No, man, your jacket is safe, don’t worry. I just thought you’d appreciate hearing that about me.”

Billy did, so much. “You feelin’ okay and all?”

“Yeah, I’m okay now,” Steve said. He was quiet for a second. “Did I do anything embarrassing last night? I usually do.”

Billy thought about Steve laying around with all the coats on him all night. He thought about Steve putting his leather jacket on and acting like a total idiot, then later telling him he looked like a goddamn Michelangelo. It didn’t mean anything; after all Billy knew he was pretty good-looking, even with his face all fucked from two fights. _You started off all this bad luck for me._ He chewed on his lip. “Nah, you were okay.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Okay, good.”

Billy could feel his dad staring at him through the wall. He realized he hadn’t heard the phone line click. “Can’t really talk right now.”

“Sure, okay. Sorry I called so early. Uh, thanks for taking me home and stuff, man.”

“Thought that was the plan, me being your designated driver and all.”

Steve laughed a little. “Yeah, yeah, I guess so.”

Billy was still chewing on his lip. “See ya later, okay? Bring my jacket to the diner tomorrow.”

“Okay. Later Bills.”

“Don’t call me that,” Billy told him and hung up.

 

Wednesday afternoon he was sitting in his study hall, looking over his math test that he’d just gotten back. He’d gotten an 84 on it and it was probably the highest grade he’d gotten on a math test since he’d been fuckin’ twelve or something. He was real jazzed up about it; he was picturing how Steve’s stupid face was gonna look when he showed it to him later. He’d probably be real proud; he might even touch Billy’s shoulder again. Billy was telling himself he definitely wasn’t going to flinch this time. He didn’t need to do that shit.

A shadow fell over him at the table and Billy closed his eyes for a second: it was the curse of Hawkins coming for him. It was fucking Henderson leaning over the table.

Henderson thunked his giant bookbag down onto the tabletop. Billy kept his eyes closed. “Man. The hell do you want.”

The table shook as Henderson leaned on it. “Hi, I just have two questions for you today, okay Billy?”

Billy opened his eyes at looked at the kid; Henderson grinned at him like a big puppy. Mind you Billy loved dogs, but not when they looked like Henderson. “All right, same rules as Monday, you got forty-five seconds for each question.” Monday it’d been Henderson _and_ Wheeler Jr; Billy’d just about hanged himself with the string of Henderson’s hoodie.

“Okay!” Henderson grinned at him some more. “First of all, do you want to play D&D with us tomorrow? We’re doing it on Thursday night now and I think I can get Mike to – “

“No, nope, next question,” Billy said. “I ain’t playing your faggy little game with you.”

“You didn’t even let me finish!” Henderson yapped. “I spent like two days on a character map for you, you can be our barbarian! Billy the Destroyer!”

All right. That actually sounded kind of cool. Even so: “Kid, I ain’t playing your game with you. Anyway, I got a date on Thursday.”

“You do?” Henderson looked surprised. “I thought you were going to the movies with Steve.”

Billy sighed. Harrington was such a Chatty Cathy. “Next _question._ ”

“I still have twelve seconds!” Henderson sat down across from Billy with a _thump!_ ; Billy put his head in his hands and just looked at the kid. “Okay.” Henderson looked back at him all serious. “How do you get a woman?”

Billy stared. “What?”

“I really really like this girl, I need to get her to notice me before someone else asks her to the Christmas dance.”

Billy stared some more. The Christmas dance was like two months away. “What?” he said again. Then he scowled. “Look, if this is about my fucking sister – “

Henderson made a face. “No, it’s not Max! That was last year! We’re in high school now, Jesus Christ!”

Jesus Christ indeed. Billy still had like at least thirty seconds of Henderson’s bullshit, though. He figured it was okay to humor the kid: he was annoying as shit, but he wasn’t as bad as Sinclair or Wheeler Jr, honestly. “Okay, so what girl is it? Now, is this like, an actual human female? Not one of your fuckin’ elves or whatever?”

“Yes, Billy, it’s an actual human female!” Henderson snapped. He leaned in like a creepy kid. “She is a _sophomore._ We have class together but she never talks to me. Steve said I just have to ignore her, but it’s not working.”

“The fuck? Why’d he tell you to ignore some girl you like?”

“Steve said I have to like read the room and stuff,” Henderson told him. “Also he said something about sexual electricity but I don’t think I’m experienced enough to understand that. He said I have to act really cool and like I don’t care. So far it hasn’t been working though, like at all.”

“Uhhh,” Billy said. Jesus that was some real bad dating advice; no wonder Steve hadn’t been with anyone since Nancy’d chucked him. He leaned over on the table too. His brain was short-circuiting and dying at having to have heard Dustin utter the words ‘sexual electricity.’ “Okay. Okay, Henderson, you gotta give me some shit to work with here. What’s this girl like, what’s she look like?”

Henderson leaned over the table even more. “Can you lower your voice a little, she is _right over there.”_.

Billy sighed internally for a thousand years. “All right, so point her out to me.”

“Okay.” Henderson laid across his bookbag like a dead fat seal and stretched his arm out; Billy turned in his seat and followed the finger that Henderson was pointing. There was a little trio of underclassmen girls sitting together at a table near the door. “She’s the one in the pink. Her name is _Rebecca,_ ” he stage-whispered. He said the name like Steve would say _Nancy Wheeler_ , or the way Maxine would fuckin’ say _George Michael._ Maybe the way Billy’d say the name _Steve Harrington_ except he was way too smart to ever sound that way about Steve out loud.

Billy looked at the girl and almost laughed; even if Henderson hadn’t pointed her out Billy would have figured her to be the one right away. She was sitting at the table hunched over some textbook, chewing on her pen a little. Her elbows were on the table and she was wearing a pink blouse and a blue pencil skirt that went down past her knees. She had wavy black hair tied in a side braid; she was the only girl at the table who wasn’t wearing about a pound of makeup. She looked real serious about her textbook.

The sleeves of her blouse were a little frayed; you could tell she’d got it at the five-and-dime and not one of the fancy stores in the mall. Actually with the way she was dressed and the way she was lookin’ at her book she looked so goddamn much like Tracey that Billy had to do a double-take; Henderson would probably pass out and laugh his ass off if Billy ever told him he’d went around with a girl like that for damn close to two years.

“Okay,” Billy said. He leaned back in his desk chair and considered Tracey-Rebecca. “All right, that girl is actually not that much of a dog, we can work with this Henderson. You got any classes with her, you said?”

“Science class, next period,” Henderson told him.

“You ever talk to her before?”

“Only twice. She sits in front of me and gives me my papers back, last week she said good job on the test!” Henderson looked like a Wookie in love.

“All right, that works.” Billy thought about it. “Okay. Go up to her and ask her to carry her books to class.”

Henderson stared at him. “What? No. That won’t work! That is like, the total opposite of what Steve says to do!”

“Look, you just told me that the shit Steve says don’t work,” Billy told him. “All right, listen, that Mr. Cool shit might work for some guys; it is definitely not going to work for you.”

Henderson looked miffed.

“Dustin,” Billy said. He felt the need to use the kid’s first name to make his point. “Listen to me. A girl like that, she wants a guy to be real nicey nicey to her. I know this, I’ve been there. Okay, you’re a goddamn goofball, but you might have a fucking shot if you play your cards right.”

“Really? Do you think so?”

Billy wasn’t really sure what he thought. He thought they had definitely gone way past his forty-five second rule. “Sure kid. It can’t hurt ya, anyway. The worst she can do is say no.”

Henderson looked doubtful. “I guess so. It really sucks when they say no though.”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” Billy said; Henderson actually laughed at him. “Okay, so you walk up to her real cool, you say hey – “ he’d seriously almost said _Hey Tracey_ – “hey Rebecca, I was just thinkin’ about you, why don’t you let me carry your books to class, I don’t want you to strain yourself.”

“Billy, that won’t work,” Henderson yapped again.

“Like hell it won’t work.” Billy gestured at the girl. “Okay, I look at that girl, I see, like, a straight B-student, she’s probably kinda quiet, right?”

“Yeah, she is pretty quiet.” Dustin looked like a Wookie in love again; Billy definitely understood the appeal of a girl who didn’t fuckin’ talk too much.

“Okay. So you, you know she’s probably not that experienced, anyway what am I saying, this is Hawkins. Look, girls like that eat this shit up, you just gotta be real nice to them. You gotta mean it too, look real eager okay? She’s gonna laugh with her friends later and say how fuckin’ cute you are.”

“Okay. Really?” Henderson was still looking really doubtful but he was standing up and grabbing his books. He squared his shoulders. “Okay, okay. I’m gonna try.”

“Kid, put your fuckin’ books away first, how the hell you gonna carry hers?”

“Oh! Right!” Henderson snatched for his science book and knocked it off the damn table himself; Billy sighed internally again for a thousand years. Dustin put his books in his backpack and slid it over one shoulder. “Okay, okay, okay. I’m going. Do I look okay?”

“Absolutely not,” Billy told him. “Look, take your fuckin’ hat off, okay?”

“Okay!” Henderson pulled his baseball cap off; his ungodly curly hair sproinged up to nearly touch the ceiling.

Billy made a face. “No no no, Dustin, okay, put the hat back on,” he said real quick.

“Really? Okay.” Henderson jammed the cap back on his head.

Billy sighed. “Don’t make any of your weird noises!” he said to the kid’s back. There were two minutes of class left; he watched Henderson walk up to the girl as the warning bell rang.

Tracey-Rebecca looked up as Henderson yapped at her. She looked real surprised and then she smiled at him. Henderson gestured and waved his arms; the other two girls started giggling up a storm. Girls liked to do that, Billy figured. Tracey-Rebecca stared up at Henderson. She put her pen down and bit her bottom lip. She looked at her friends and then looked back at Dustin. She was pulling on her braid; she was thinking about it. Then she smiled again and stood up. She picked up her pile of books and gave it to him.

HAHAHA!, Billy said inside of his head, then he got control of himself. He had to remind himself that he hated Henderson still and didn’t give a fuck about him. Henderson slid Tracey-Rebecca’s books under his arm and shouldered his backpack again. He started walking out of the classroom with her. He turned around and gave Billy a huge grin and a thumbs up; he almost dropped the girl’s fucking books everywhere.

Billy didn’t give Henderson a thumbs-up back but he did nod at him. He skipped shop class and went to smoke in the locker room. Man but it was real tiring, trying to be a good person.

 

Study hall was fifth period for him; he had it this year instead of a lunch. After sixth (which was supposed to be shop class but was becoming smoke break class more and more often), Billy walked himself down to English. On his way he passed one of the creepy kid club members – it was the little Byers kid and he was getting beat around on like usual. This time it was two sophomores. One kid had Byers’ books and another one was in his face, taunting him and making faces.

Billy sighed again: internally and externally this time, and very heavily. Really all he wanted in his life was to fuckin’ graduate and not have to look at these little brats every day. He wanted that, he thought, really, even more than he wanted Steve Harrington, in whatever way it was that he wanted Steve.

This was like the fourth or fifth time he’d walked by and seen Byers getting picked on; it was getting to be like a TV show or something. The kid was clearly a total fag and his ugly Beatles haircut didn’t help anything but Billy didn’t care about that. Truth be told, aside from Elijane, Byers was probably his favorite of the Creepy Kid Club. He _barely_ ever talked!

In his head Billy could hear Max yapping on and on in her womanly hysteria: she’d go on fuckin’ _forever_ about it if she found out he’d walked by more than once and hadn’t helped Byers out. He reached out as he was walking by and snagged the bookbag strap of the kid in Byers’ face. He swung the brat around the hallway and threw him up against a bunch of lockers, then kept walking. He didn’t even break his stride. “Why don’t you queers at least pick on some loser in your own grade?” he asked. It was an honest question.

“Fuck you, Hargrove!” yelled the kid he’d thrown into the locker.

“You’re dead, Hargrove!” said the other.

The kids got cuter and sweeter every week, Billy thought. He went on to English class as the two goons were yelling their threats; he was hoping Byers had had enough sense to grab his stuff and book it while the guys had been hollering at Billy.

After school Max was waiting for him at his locker; she was holding her science project which was some kinda atom thing made out of paper mache (Billy was pretty sure it was a sugar molecule). She looked like a real big dork and Billy sighed at her holding it and being at his locker. Max gave him a piece of gum which was all right. They started walking out of the building together; it was beginning to snow again which as usual was just making Billy feel all kinds of joy.

Out on the steps the two baby shitbags from earlier were waiting for him. One of them hit Max’s science project out of her hands (“WHAT THE _HECK,_ I GOT A B ON THAT, YOU STUPID MOUTH-BREATHERS!” Max yelled her damn head off) so Billy had to knock him around the parking lot. Then he had to knock the other kid around the parking lot too for grabbing at his shirt collar.

He didn’t beat them around too much, though; they were just sophomores, and anyway they were still on school property. Billy really didn’t need to get suspended and have to deal with any bullshit from his father. So far it had been a pretty good year and he’d only gotten smacked around once or twice since school’d started; it would be nice to keep it that way for once. He and Max had four more days until his dad went back out on the road and then they could rejoice for a while.

Max held her squashed-up science project as they got into his car. “Why’d two stupid sophomores want to fight you?” she asked him.

“Hell if I know.” Max would yap her head off if she thought he hadn’t helped Byers, but she didn’t exactly need to know he’d done it either, Billy figured. It didn’t matter.

‘Blister in the Sun’ by the Violent Femmes came on the radio and Billy and Max started arguing about it. They’d been arguing about it for about a week now; it was a pretty big argument. They were gonna do a poll over it and Max was gonna end up owing him three jawbreakers and a cigarillo. There was no way Max could get her hands on a cigar so she was gonna be owing him forever.

“He’s totally singing about a guy,” Maxine said.

“He’s _not_ singing about a guy,” Billy said. “You nitwit. They ain’t gonna put some song like that on the radio.”

“Yes they would! He’s singing about a guy and having wet dreams about him, it’s called subtext Billy.”

“There ain’t no guy in the music video,” Billy pointed out. “He is just walking around town, high as shit, living his life.”

“ _And_ singing about a guy!”

They argued all the way down Main Street. Then Billy parked and went down to the car garage; Max was heading to some store to meet her friend Beverly. “We’re going out to eat at Mike’s at seven, you wanna come?” Max asked him. “The pizza place, not Mike’s house.”

Billy’d figured. “See how I feel once I pick you up,” he said. He was pretty sure El-or-Jane wouldn’t be there; apparently she was still grounded and the ban had only been lifted so she could go out trick-or-treating. Billy didn’t really know how you could ground a little kid that’d spent most of her life in a damn test tube but apparently that was something that was happening.

He felt pretty all right; he and Max had been getting along real good for more than a month now. More than a month was a long time when you were brother and sister (forced to be brother and sister, he reminded himself). Shit, with a sister like Max, even getting along for two days was a long time.

He went into the garage and talked to Hank for a while. Over two weeks’d gone by since he’d fought Tommy Hall out in front of the shop and Hank hadn’t fired him yet. Billy wasn’t sure if Miles had forgotten to tell Hank what happened or if Hank just didn’t care; he wasn’t going to jinx himself and ask about it, though.

Hank showed him the list of new orders they had and asked him if he’d drive out to South Bend tomorrow to pick up parts. Billy _was_ going to the movies with Harrington but he figured he’d have time to do that. He was Hank’s new apprentice anyway after all. He thought about asking Hank about ‘Blister in the Sun’ but figured Hank wouldn’t have heard it since the only fuckin’ music he listened to came from POWER 99.

Max came back and met him at quarter to seven; Billy gave his keys to Hank and they resumed their argument. “Bev says it’s about a guy too,” Max informed him; Billy scowled. He drove them to Mike’s the pizza place and they went on in. Harrington was there which Billy hadn’t expected and did not let himself get excited about. Sinclair was there too with the Byers kid. They all stared at Billy and Max when they came in with their backpacks and sat down.

Max looked around at them. “What?” she said finally.

Sinclair said, “Dustin told us that you helped him get a date and then beat up _two_ guys for Will? Did you have a brain transplant or something?”

Billy tried hard not to ask who the fuck Will was. “Wait, he actually got the date already?” He actually felt pretty proud of Henderson.

“They’re at the liiiiibrary,” Sinclair said and made a stupid face.

“Oh shit. You know what that means.”

Max made a stupid face too. “No, what’s it mean?” Billy gave her a look.

Harrington was sprawled out at the table and he looked either pretty tired or pretty annoyed; Billy wondered if he was pissed off that Billy’d been giving Henderson dating advice or something. “Who did you fight _now?_ ” he asked.

“Dunno their names.”

“Justin something and Tommy Hall’s little brother,” Max informed Harrington. She turned back to Billy. “Is _that_ why you fought two sophomores?!”

Steve looked even more annoyed. He kinda looked like a den dad again. “You fought Tommy Hall’s little brother?” he asked. “Man, he is _really_ gonna be out for you now.”

“It wasn’t even a real fight,” Billy said. Max added, “They squashed my science project!”

“She got a fuckin’ B on it,” Billy said.

Harrington looked slightly mollified. “Hey, that’s a pretty good grade,” he told Max.

“Oh yeah!” said Billy. He dug around in his backpack. “Speaking of pretty good grades, check this shit out.” He slammed his math test down on the table.

Steve leaned over to look at it. His hair fell into his eyes and he reached up to sweep it behind his ears. He started grinning like a crazy person and looked up at Billy. Jesus he had some huge fuckin’ eyes; Billy hadn’t been ready for him to look like that. “No shit, that’s awesome, man!” he said. He reached across the table to shove at Billy’s shoulder; he almost upset Sinclair’s soda with his elbow. Sinclair glowered at him. “Hey, I guess you don’t need me anymore.”

 _No, I still need you,_ Billy almost said like a great big fag. Since Sinclair and the Byers kid and Max were all there he managed not to say it.

Max leaned over the table too; she had her biggest gremlin face on. “Can we talk about something actually important?” she demanded. She looked over at Steve. “Steve, ‘Blister in the Sun’ is about a guy, right?”

Steve looked surprised. “Uh, what now?”

“That Violent Femmes song. They play it all the time on 102.5?”

“Oh, right.” He still looked a little blank. 102.5 was the college radio and Billy was pretty sure that Harrington just got his kicks listening to fuckin’ POWER 99 all the time too. He needed so much help.

“It’s not about a guy.” Sinclair was making a face.

“See?” Billy said to Max.

“I think he’s singing like he’s, you know, the girl in the song,” Byers piped up; probably one of the first times Billy’d heard him talk. Billy thought that it being from the girl’s perspective was some Boy George shit.

“So what’s the final tally though, kid? Is it about a guy or not? We got candy on the line here.” Byers smiled at him like he was being funny.

“Okay, so why’s his girlfriend crying then?” Max demanded over him. She and Sinclair were playing footsie under the table and it made Billy want to puke everywhere. Max got in a nice good kick on Sinclair; he made a terrible face at her. “Or _her_ girlfriend, I guess.”

“Girlfriend doesn’t have to mean _girlfriend_ girlfriend,” Sinclair told her; he was still making the face. “It could be girlfriend like, like your mom meets her girlfriend for book club?”

Max made a face. “But … it’s still about a guy.”

“No it’s not!”

“No, I’m … I’m pretty sure it’s about a guy,” Steve said slowly.

“See?”

“It’s _not_ about a guy,” said Billy.

“You’re so homophobic!” Max told him.

“No I ain’t!” Mostly he just wanted the jawbreakers. He felt like telling Max about working with Miles and his fuckin’ bandana collection; she had not even seen him yet.

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m not!”

“He’s not homophobic just for thinking a song isn’t about a guy, because _it’s not,_ ” Sinclair said. Billy couldn’t believe that the first thing he and Lucas had ever agreed on was that the singer from the Violent Femmes hadn’t wrote a song about a dude with big hands.

The little Byers kid was standing and gathering his books; he put a few dollars on the table. “I have to go and meet Jonathan,” he said. He looked at Billy for a minute; his little shoulder quirked up and he looked even more like a gay Beatle. “Um, thank … thank you for helping me today,” he said. Then he said, “Actually, I think the song’s not about a guy after all. Bye guys.”

“HA, SEE?” Billy said. Everyone else at the table rolled their eyes at him.

“Bye Will!” said Sinclair and Max.

Billy stared after him. “Wait, he has the same goddamn name as me?”

Sinclair and Max stared at him too. “You have _got_ to be kidding,” Sinclair said. “You didn’t know that?”

Steve started laughing. He’d been pretty quiet for most of the argument with the kids; he had his head propped up in his hand and had been leaning on the table, tugging at his hair. It sounded nice to hear him laughing or whatever. Steve looked up at him. “Willy Hargrove,” he said, smiling. He laughed some more. Billy flipped him off.

Max and Sinclair finished their pizza and then everyone parted ways; Sinclair hopped onto his bike and blended off into the night. Steve had walked over again so Billy told him he’d give him a ride home. Steve stared at him as they got into the car.

“You _need_ to stop getting into fights, man,” he said like he was Billy’s dad. Except totally not like Billy’s dad because Billy’s dad would be kicking the shit out of him. Also Steve did not look remotely like Billy’s dad; he looked way better. Okay Billy was going to stop thinking about his dad right now.

“It was _just_ two sophomores,” Maxine yapped from the backseat. “Billy can take at least three or four guys, he’s got like retardo strength.”

Billy rolled his eyes at her in the rearview mirror. She was so kind. Actually he guessed she was so kind; he’d really only won the few fights she’d seen him in due to pure dumb luck. She looked real excited in the backseat; she looked just like her little ten-year-old self that Billy’d used to pick up and take out to the stupid comic book shop while their parents went out on dates. He said, “You remember when me’n Tracey took you to Venice Beach?”

Max stared at him for a second; it was probably the first time in a goddamn year he’d mentioned Tracey to her without screaming his head off. Then she started smiling. “ _Yes,_ ” she said. She told Steve, “This guy grabbed his girlfriend’s butt so Billy threw him and his three friends off the pier, it was _probably_ the best day of my life.”

“What?” Steve was laughing and making a great face; Max started laughing at it. “That did not happen, you guys are freakin’ liars.”

“It was high tide, they just swam away,” Billy told him. “Maxine was yelling her damn head off like usual.”

“Yeah, and remember I bet you guys you couldn’t eat that whole pack of hot dogs?”

“Oh my fucking god,” Billy said. He started laughing a little bit too, despite himself. “Trace blew chunks all over the goddamn boardwalk.”

“It was _so gross._ ”

Harrington was smiling at them. “I didn’t think you guys used to do stuff together,” he said. “That’s a really cute story. I mean, also fucking disgusting.” He said, “You know, I never – I mean, I don’t have any brothers or sisters. You guys are really lucky.”

Billy and Max exchanged a look in the rearview mirror; it said they both knew exactly how not-lucky they both were. Billy thought Steve had kind of been starting to know about that. Maybe not though. Also: “She’s _not_ my sister,” he said as Max squawked, “He’s _not_ my brother!”

Steve was still laughing; he laid his head back against the seat and looked at Billy. “Okay okay okay,” he said. “Je-sus, look at your face. It is so cute when you get all fired up.” He was smiling; he was saying it to Billy and not to Max.

Him saying shit like that made Billy feel real weird. _Really_ weird, in fact, as a certain telekinetic little badass might say. Really, really weird. He knew that it was a joke and he knew that it was meant to be a joke. _He_ said shit like that to Steve all the time but it made him feel weird.

The thing was he knew that it didn’t make Harrington feel weird. It didn’t matter. He knew that it didn’t make his throat lock up when _Billy_ said shit like that and it just. Made him feel. Shit he didn’t know. Made him feel something. He didn’t know if it was a sadness or a sickness or what. He knew Harrington didn’t mean it; maybe it’d be kinda nice if he meant it or something.

Goddamn he was such a girl. He didn’t know when this shit had started to happen to him; he was trying not to think about it. He wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Billy rubbed the back of his neck. “You ain’t even seen me _try_ to be cute yet.” Then he stopped rubbing the back of his neck. He said, “SHIT.”

Steve blinked. “What?”

“Nothin’.” Billy touched the side of his neck, too, then he looked down his shirt. “I lost my fuckin’ necklace.”

Max popped forward from the backseat; some of her hair swung onto his jacket. “What? Your mom’s?” she asked. Her eyes were big. “You lost her pendant?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh man,” said Steve. He started frowning. “Okay. Uh, where’d you have it last?”

“I don’t know, I always fuckin’ have it.”

“Should we get out and look for it?” Max asked. “Maybe it fell off in the pizza place.”

“Maybe. Maybe, I don’t know.”

They all got out of the car; Billy and Max started looking on the ground and Harrington trotted off to check back in Mike’s. It was still snowing, coming down pretty hard; Max’s red hair was covered in flakes in about two minutes. Steve came back out chewing on his bottom lip and looking upset. “No, sorry man. Shit.”

“Shit,” Billy said too. He was so stupid. Steve starting kicking around in the snow too and Billy felt so goddamn stupid. They didn’t need to do that.

Maxine was down on her knees looking under the Camaro like a total fruit loop; she skidded in the slush and pulled herself up on the doorhandle. Then she made a sound and hit at his arm. “Oh! Billy!” she said. “The school!”

“What?”

“When you threw those guys around in the parking lot today?” Max said. “Didn’t Tommy’s brother grab you? It probably came off then, I bet it’s still out there by the stupid steps.”

Harrington had the big frown-wrinkle between his eyebrows again. “Should we go look there, do you wanna look?”

Billy licked his lips; he didn’t want to make a big fucking deal over it. He felt so goddamn stupid. Irresponsible just like his old man always said. He could never take care of his things; he couldn’t take care of one thing. He slammed his fist against the hood of his car, but just once. “Nah, no, it’s all right.”

“We can go look.”

“It’s fucking storming out, we’re never gonna find it,” Billy told him. Goddamn he felt so stupid; he was so stupid. “It’s okay, it don’t matter. It’s probably not even there anymore. It’s just a – I have other shit of hers.”

“Not that much,” Max said tactfully.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Are you sure?” Steve was still making his concerned face.

Billy really wished that he wasn’t making the concerned face. He didn’t need to look like that. Billy didn’t need Harrington feeling all sorry for him and shit. God he was stupid. It was just a necklace. “Let’s just go, all right.”

They all got back into the car and it was pretty quiet as Billy drove Harrington back to his big house. ‘Blister in the Sun’ came on the radio again and Maxine didn’t even start her bullshit up. Billy parked at the curb and Steve got out; Max climbed around to steal his seat up front.

Steve stood standing out there in the snow with his hands in his jacket. “I’m sorry, man,” he said.

“It’s fine, it don’t matter.”

“Okay. Well. See you tomorrow, right?”

“Okay.”

Billy drove off; he let Max turn the radio back up. In the rearview mirror, Steve was still just standing there out in the snow, looking after them.

 

He took Max to school the next day; he was trying not to feel like a big fuckin’ baby about losing his mom’s necklace. He was such a goddamn girl.

Maxine was right and he didn’t have too much of his mom’s stuff; there was no reason to keep it, his old man said. Billy had a couple of books she’d got him and her record player. He had some pictures and this stupid old astronomy map his mom’d had when she was a kid. An old quilt she’d made him with _her_ mom when he’d been seven or eight. He had her jewelry box hidden down in the basement; he’d fought like holy hell with his dad over that one. He was pretty sure his old man had hawked her wedding ring and sold it. He hadn’t asked but he was pretty sure he’d sold it.

He had her bracelet and her pendant; now he’d lost her fucking pendant. It wasn’t even expensive or anything but her mom had given it to her when she was a kid and _she’d_ given it to him when she’d known she was really dying. It had been right when she’d started to get really bad and he hadn’t wanted it. It was Saint Christopher and he was supposed to protect kids or something; Billy pretty much felt like all the saints never protected anything. But he’d always had it.

He and Max kicked around in the snow a little bit but it wasn’t on the steps anyway. He hadn’t thought it would be there; he could have lost it anywhere really. “Sorry Billy,” Max said. She had a weird look on her face; he didn’t feel like lookin’ at her.

School went by and Billy went to work. He drove out to South Bend for Hank and came back and picked up Maxine; she was actually at the library for once. It was Thursday night and he felt surprised she wasn’t hanging out with the Creepy Kid Club playing D&D. Max made a face at him like he’d said something awful and slammed her door in his face. Billy counted to ten in his head and went to get ready.

Harrington came and picked him up at eight. Billy really would have preferred meeting him but Steve’d said that Billy’d been driving him around a lot lately; he could do the same. It was nice and all but he’d rather have met him there. Steve coming to get him shouldn’t be a big deal but it felt like one though. Billy hadn’t really had many friends since he was a kid; he’d had Tracey and Jack for a while but Jack'd been mostly Tracey’s pal. He wasn’t really used to people going out of their way to get him and stuff.

Billy’s dad was sitting out on the couch watching TV when Steve rang the doorbell. Billy’s dad was hardly ever sitting on the couch unless some kinda sport was on but of course he’d have to be on the couch when Steve Harrington was knocking for Billy. He could feel his father staring over his shoulder with his steel-blade gaze as he opened the door.

“Hey man, you ready?” Steve said. He flipped his sunglasses off his face (he was such a fucking dork; it was goddamn night out) and then he stared past Billy’s shoulder too at his old man. Billy wondered if they were about to brawl over his honor or some shit. He didn’t know why his dad was staring at Steve like that; Steve didn’t matter. Well Steve did matter but it wasn’t like Billy was gonna fucking kiss him right out there on the steps or something. He could never do right for his dad: he was either a goddamn faggot or he was a goddamn degenerate, knocking up his poor little girlfriend.

Billy didn’t see how he could possibly be both. He couldn't be both. His dad wasn’t inside his goddamn head anyway, he reminded himself.

Billy stepped out and closed the door. “Hey, let’s go, okay.”

Steve followed him around to his car. “Your father is fuckin’ a piece of work,” he told Billy as they got into his fancy BMW. “Jesus, I always thought my dad was a dick, but … “ He kind of laughed; it wasn't really a real laugh though.

“What’s your dad do?” Billy asked. He was honestly curious. He’d never met anyone else as crazy as his old man; it’d taken him damn near his whole life to realize that you weren’t supposed to actually be terrified of your father. Kinda he was still learning that.

Steve’s mouth curled up; he rolled his head against the back of his seat and looked over at Billy. “Oh, you know,” he said. “He ignores me,” he said all dramatic like he was in _The Breakfast Club._ Billy laughed without meaning to; Harrington was getting good at making him do that. Steve smiled. “No, no, I mean, you know. The usual stuff, likes to tell me I’m stupid all the time.”

“Oh yeah, I get that one a lot.” He thought Steve’d go on but he just chewed on his lip and stared out at the road; then he stared at Billy.

“I’m just sorry, okay,” he said. “I didn’t really believe Max at first, not for a long time. About your old man. But – you know – over the summer, when I saw your arm – “

Billy stared at him and raised his eyebrows. It felt like a challenge. “You really think my dad busted my arm?”

“Yeah. I do.” Steve was just looking at him.

“Okay,” Billy said. He leaned back in his seat; he wished Steve would just start the car up already. “What, you feel sorry for me?”

“No! I. I just. I dunno. I’m just sorry.”

“We really don’t gotta talk about this,” Billy told him. He was playing with all the fancy buttons on the dashboard of the car; Harrington rolled his eyes as Billy made his window go up and down twice. “Look, you gonna take me to the movies or what? Thought you were gonna take me to the fuckin’ movies, Stella, show me the night life.”

Steve was smiling at him like he’d said something cute; Billy was pretty sure he’d never said anything cute in his whole life. “Yeah, okay, let’s go.” He finally turned his car on.

They went and saw _Stand By Me_ ; this time it was Billy cracking up in the theater. He was never gonna stop quoting it. Also it kept looking like Chris and Gordie were gonna kiss each other; he got such a kick out of it. Steve leaned over in his seat. “You sound like a mental patient, I'm just telling you,” he said. “They just found a dead body.”

“Suck my fat one, you cheap dimestore hood,” Billy told him. Then he cracked up again.

Steve leaned over even more; he was being annoying as shit on purpose. “I feel like that line really resonates with you, do you need to talk about it?”

“Fuck you,” Billy said. “Gimme your Skittles.”

Steve was making a stupid face at him, then he started grinning. “Ask me really nice, I'll give you two,” he said.

Billy asked him really nice; Steve gave him the whole box.

 

The weekend went by and on Monday Billy’s dad went back out on the road. The house felt like a house again and not a prison; Susan didn’t have to make terrible breakfast anymore. Susan was pretty cool with letting them go out and do what they wanted and they ate take-out for a week straight. Max told Billy that her old man had used to cook mostly.

Wednesday night they found Steve all by himself at the diner looking like a lost puppy in his cute button-up shirt and tie. “My dad was supposed to meet me here after his meeting, I guess he forgot,” he said. He looked so goddamn bummed out that Max and Billy changed their orders to to-go; Max called up Henderson on the diner phone and yapped her head off to him. They picked up Dustin and everyone trooped over to Steve’s big empty house. Max and Dustin were losing their minds yelling and playing Donkey Kong Jr on Steve’s Nintendo; Maxine’d been drooling about the Nintendo for close to three weeks now. Steve and Billy went downstairs and drank a beer in the kitchen as the kids destroyed Steve's room. Billy was pretty sure you could fit both his and Max’s bedrooms in the Harringtons' kitchen.

Steve followed them out to his porch when they left at past ten; Billy figured he might as well give Henderson a ride back. He kinda wanted to hear the shit on Tracey-Rebecca anyway.

“Thanks for hanging out with me,” Steve said like he hadn’t bought Max and Billy their food and let them play fancy games and fuck up his room and let Billy drink his dad’s beer. “You good to drive?”

“I’m okay,” Billy said. Steve was too cute; they’d only had one drink. Anyway it was probably the kids he was worried about.

Billy worked at the shop a lot; it was easier to be at the garage and listen to Hank or Miles talk and talk when he knew he didn’t have to go home to a lecture from his old man. He was saving up a lot of money now, not that he knew what the fuck he was saving it for. The way Hank paid him he might actually be able to afford an apartment or something when he graduated. He wasn't really thinking about it; he definitely couldn't stay home for forever. He wasn't sure what the hell Maxine would do left alone with his crazy old man but he wasn't thinking about it. Anyway his dad wasn't there half the time anyway; it's not like she really needed Billy for shit. They were getting along fine now but she didn't need him for shit.

Steve came over a couple nights and they played basketball in the driveway with all the porch lights on. Billy still kicked Steve’s ass and knocked him around like way back last year; the only difference was now he actually gave him a hand getting up. Max rolled her eyes and scowled at them like a forty-year-old mom from the kitchen window as they were jumping around and swearing at each other. She made a big production of slamming the kitchen window twice.

“Why’s she got the window open anyway, it’s like forty degrees out,” Steve said. He was panting and sweating even though it was cold as shit out; Billy threw the ball at his face. “YOU ASSHOLE.” He got real close to Billy trying to dribble the ball past him; Jesus Billy got such a kick out of him. “You gonna join the team again in January?”

“Maybe, if you let me have a fuckin’ day to myself.”

Steve ignored him being an asshole; he was getting real good at that too. “Dustin is going to come to all your games and annoy the shit out of you, I can't wait for it.”

“He better fuckin’ not.”

“I’m gonna make him a flag with your face on it,” Steve said; he stole the ball back from Billy.

“You got a lot of pictures of my face, Harrington?”

Steve laughed at him. He made the shot from midway down the driveway; they were calling that half-court. “Boom!” he said like a total dork. Then he sat down on the pavement. “Okay, I am going to die now.”

Billy sat down too. He'd still beat him but Harrington'd kind of whipped his ass too. He was pretty sure he was getting a huge bruise on his side from Steve tackling him into the bushes; the kid really did not like to be tripped. “You're getting pretty good, man.”

“Thanks, you make me want to try to be a better person,” Steve said; Billy threw his head back and laughed. Steve ran his hands through his hair a couple of times and Billy tried not to want him.

It was real little things that made him want Steve; it wasn't like what Billy'd thought he was supposed to feel about a person. It wasn't some huge thing. It was when Steve was looking up at him in the diner or singing along to some bullshit song on the radio or choking on his food laughing because Billy'd said some dumb shit that he'd thought was funny. He'd do that shit or look a certain way or make a face and Billy'd think _that one, I want that one_. It was weird and it made his brain shake in his skull. He'd never felt that way about someone, he kind of hadn't thought he could. It was that thing that was wrong with him. Now what was wrong with him was a whole new can of shit apparently.

Steve was leaning over and looking at him; he was stretched out sitting on the pavement and leaning with his weight on his shoulder and he looked real good. “Hello? Bills? Can you stop thinking about your hair for two seconds?”

“Sorry, sorry. What?” Billy felt taken aback; he'd said sorry about four times in his goddamn life.

“I said I can't hang out on Sunday night, I have to go on this – date or whatever with this chick that works in accounting, my dad set it up.”

Billy wasn't upset about Harrington going out on a date; he seriously wasn't. He knew there was no chance he and Steve could ever be a thing; he wasn't even fully sure what the fuck he'd do with Harrington if he got in five minutes with him. Okay he had a couple ideas. Anyway he knew it wouldn't happen; it would never happen. Also Steve needed to get laid badly if all the sob stories he'd told Billy about Nancy Wheeler were true. It'd been a real long time for him. Harrington was all romantic and shit and hadn't even copped off with anyone at any parties or anything.

“You seen this girl before, she look all right?”

“I saw her for probably five minutes, about six months ago right when I started. She was all right.” No Nancy, apparently. Billy managed not to make a face. “Anyway if she didn't look all right my dad wouldn't have made the date, he's a real asshole like that. She's older, I wanna say twenty?”

“Okay, we can work with that.”

“No, I seriously don't want to go, I haven't been on a real date in over a year. I'm not like you, man, I can't get whoever I want,” Steve told him. If only. He fixed Billy with a real mean look. “You didn't even tell me you hooked up with Rachel,” he said.

Billy felt about two inches tall. It didn't matter but he felt two inches tall. “That was a while ago, I barely even remember that. How'd you hear about that?”

“I have my sources,” Steve said mysteriously; he probably meant Henderson. So much for Rachel's keeping it quiet over her boyfriend in Eastgate. “Look, I'm not like you, I get really nervous. I'm gonna drop like eight plates on this girl, can you like beat the shit out of me again so I don't have to go.”

“Man, you're gonna be fine.”

“No, I'm not gonna be fine,” Steve told him. “I get _really_ sweaty when I'm nervous, my hands sweat real bad. And I'm hanging out with you way too much, I keep swearing and calling everything a faggot. My mom almost beat me to death at the dinner table last week.”

Billy started laughing; goddamn he was too cute. “Look, we can go out now if you want to make up for Sunday. I thought up like six line pickup lines to use on Mrs. Wheeler, I will let you have them.”

Steve got fake tears in his eyes; he was such a piece of shit. Billy wondered if Steve could show him how to do that. It'd work wonders on Maxine and especially Susan. “You'd really do that for me?”

Billy stood up; he was definitely gonna have a bruise. “Come on, shitbag.” He gave Steve a hand up.

 

* * *

The night before Thanksgiving Maxine dragged him over to the Byers’ house; she told him El-or-Jane was gonna be there and Billy stopped letting her drag him and started dragging her. Only Wheeler Jr made a face at him once they'd shown up. Steve was there too which made Billy feel all right.

Mostly all right, anyway. He sat down next to Elijane on one of the little couches, he tried not to feel weird as fuck about throwing Sinclair into the bookshelf in the corner last year or knocking Steve out cold on the floor. There was still an indentation there next to the rug from where Max'd been slamming that serial killer bat around.

Billy looked at the indentation on the floor, then he looked at Elijane. He wondered if the rest of the brat pack had told her all about it. Elijane looked up and gave her her little half-smile; maybe not.

“Hey kid,” he said. She looked all serious reading some ratty paperback. He was surprised she wasn't sitting over at the table with her jailer Wheeler Jr. He said, “No shit, you can read?”

Steve glanced up at him; he was all laid out on the floor again. He and the Byers kid had a bunch of papers taped together and they were drawing some weird map out with fucking crayons. “Bill!” he said like Mr. Mom. Goddamn but he looked cute as shit laying on the floor wearing his little sweatshirt and glaring up at Billy.

“What? I'm asking a question.”

“I can read,” Elijane told him. “My – dad's been teaching me.”

Billy thought it was pretty cute too that she was calling the sheriff her dad. He guessed she should be after all. The sheriff was pretty fuckin' terrifying but maybe he was all right.

Elijane had a little torn-up dictionary too. She scooted over closer and showed him the book she was reading; it was some kinda murder mystery novel. Not Stephen King or anything but one of those crime dramas, like a Perry Mason or some shit. Not really the best reading material for twelve year old in Billy's opinion, not that anyone wanted it. “Kid, you ought to be reading some Narnia books or something.” He wondered if he had any of his old copies down in his basement.

Steve was laughing at him; Billy was too far away to kick him. “You got something to say, Harrington? What're you, a topographer now?”

Steve looked blank. Byers leaned over closer to him. “He means a map-maker,” he supplied.

“Oh, I knew that.” Steve still looked blank.

“So what're you guys doing?” Billy nudged the map with his foot. “That a map of Hawkins?”

“Uh, yeah. We've been working on it for a while.”

Byers leaned over Steve again and drew a big X on the river that Steve was coloring in. “You don't actually have to color it,” he told him. Steve made a face at him. “Danford Creek and East Bend. Do you think it means anything?”

“Nah, I dunno, Maybe not. I mean, both those rivers run south.” Steve looked up at Billy for some reason. He said, “I know that now.”

Harrington was clearly a crazy person; it was such a shame about him. Billy looked over at Elijane. “What's the map for?” he asked again.

“When I go missing,” Elijane said.

“Uhhhh right,” Billy said. Honestly the kid wasn't much better though she had his devotion and shit. “Okay, I don't really know what that means.”

Steve was scratching his eyebrow in a resigned way. “Uh, okay. So look. That night over the summer when we had our great adventure, and you flipped the fuck out. It wasn't – “

“Wait, wait, _I_ flipped the fuck out?”

Byers was smiling; he hadn't even been there.

“It wasn't the first time that'd happened, that she went off into the woods,” Steve said. “I mean, I don't know. Was it the first time, El?”

Elijane shook her head. “Two other times.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “You felt like going for a stroll or something?”

Elijane shook her head again. “I can't remember.”

“It's like she … goes into a trace or something,” Little Byers told him. “She's been out there two other times.”

Okay, that was pretty fucking weird. “You can't remember why you was out there?” Billy asked El. She shook her head. “You start bleeding like that and shit the other times too?”

Elijane nodded again. “Always bloody,” she said.

“It hasn't happened for a couple months,” Little Byers (LB) told him. “We've been trying to pinpoint, um, where she's been, to see if there's any patterns. It's probably about the gate.”

“It's _not_ the gate,” Elijane said.

As usual Billy had no clue what the kids or Harrington were going on about. Funny that LB and Elijane were his two favorites and they were definitely the weirdest fuckin' ones, aside from Steve probably. “What gate?”

Byers stared at him. “Steve didn't tell you about the gate?”

“I just love talking about the gate, I tell all my new friends who used to beat the shit out of me about the gate.” Steve was rolling his eyes.

Byers sat up. “Mike? Billy doesn't know about the gate.”

Wheeler Jr looked up from where he'd been arguing with Max and Sinclair and Henderson; Billy thought they'd been squawking about D&D or some shit. “He doesn't?” He looked at Max. “I thought you were going to tell him!”

“Steve said not to!”

“I didn't say _not_ to!”

Henderson was lisping his way over with his stupid goddamn baseball cap. “Okay, move Will, I want to tell him!”

“No, you always tell everything wrong!” Mike yapped, knocking him out of the way. All the kids were starting to go off again; Billy sighed again in his head.

“Okay, so El has these powers – “

“I know she has frickin' powers, thanks.”

“SHE HAS THESE POWERS – “

“She opened the gate with her mind!”

“Basically she is like a mage, she can create a portal – “

“ – kind of like a flea – “ Wheeler Jr made a weird punching motion with his hand for some reason –

“ – when she was being tortured in the lab they made her open this gate into another dimension – “

“Will got sucked into it and everyone thought he was dead!“

The kids yapped on and on. Basically they were spinning him some Stephen King shit for about the twelfth time; actually it was beyond Stephen King shit. Billy just about got up and walked out when they started talking about monsters and packs of monsters and El-or-Jane exploding brains and snapping arms and demodogs and Mind Flayers.

“Oh my god, sit down, you drama queen!” No less than three creepy kids grabbed his arm; truly he felt assaulted.

“So basically last year I found this really cute little lizard one day and I named him d'Artagnan, right – “

“IN WHAT FREAKING WORLD WAS THAT THING CUTE?”

“By the way it wasn't a lizard, it was a huge monster.”

“What IS a monster, anyway? What makes a monster?”

“Oh my fucking god Dustin, shut the hell up – “

“It ate his cat, by the way!”

“It almost ate _me!_ ”

“ – yeah, Mews, God rest her soul, anyway it turns out he wasn't really a lizard, he was kind of like an alien – “

“Is it really an alien if it's from Earth?”

“Wow, wow. Is that really the question you should be asking now, Lucas?”

“YOU just said – “

“Anyway then El closed the gate for a second time, after you knocked Steve the hell out we loaded him up in your car and we went down into the tunnel to the Upside Down to burn a bunch of those demodogs up – “

“ – that's why we were all at Will's house – “

“I wasn't there though, I was possessed at the time.”

“But he's okay now!”

“But I'm okay now.”

“Steve was so cool, he was like swinging his bat everywhere and then he threw his lighter – “

“Steve, why didn't you tell Billy about how we burned the demodogs?”

“I … “ Steve was still laying on the floor with his crayons. “I wasn't really … “

“Anyway then El used her mind powers to close the gate and all the demodogs died anyway. But the gate might not be closed because of her blackouts now.”

“Dustin, the gate's closed,” Steve said. He sounded real annoyed.

“It's _not_ the gate,” El said again. Billy stared at her; he wondered if she really had exploded people's brains with her mind.

“It's probably the gate,” said Dustin. “Ummm. Billy looks like he's having a stroke again.”

“Fuck off,” Billy said. He looked around; all the kids were crowded around him like a litter of puppies and looking at him. He was pretty sure they were lying; they had to be lying. The thing was though they didn't look like they were lying. Elijane was looking at him too and she didn't look like she was lying and apparently she'd killed a bunch of people and also monsters. Billy's head was gonna fucking explode. He said, real nice, “Maxine?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, so you've known for a year now. That we moved to a town that's full of fucking monsters and government agents. And you decided not to tell me this shit?”

“Steve said not to!” Max yapped. “We were watching _Star Wars!_ ”

“I didn't say _not to!_ ” Steve yelled. “Can we not talk about the fuckin' gate for one night? Anyway, it, the – portal or whatever's closed, okay?!”

“Maybe,” added Dustin. Steve rolled his eyes. He looked about ready to snap his little crayon in half.

Billy rubbed his face. “I don't really believe you guys.”

“It's true!”

“It happened!”

“We'd have a demodog corpse if Mrs. Byers hadn't freaked out! It was for science!”

“El, can you like go in his head and show him?”

“No!” said Elijane. “I'm not supposed to do that.”

Billy stared at her. “You can do that?”

“She can do everything!” yapped Dustin.

Elijane was shaking her head. “Not supposed to.” Then she looked at him again. “It's true,” she said. “The monsters are real.”

“Okay,” Billy said. Okay okay okay. Cool cool cool. The kids were all still standing and staring at him. “Can you guys like disperse now? I need a fucking minute.”

“Okay!” said all the kids. Then they kept standing there and staring at him.

“GUYS!” said Steve.

“Okay okay okay!”

The kids all split up; Henderson and Sinclair went back to the table and Wheeler Jr grabbed up Elijane. Max got all up in Billy's face anyway. “Are you wigging out?”

“I'm not sure.”

“You've screamed like _way_ less than Steve, and he already knew about them!”

“THANK YOU MAX,” said Steve. Max gave him her shit-eating smile.

Mrs. Byers came home then and saved Billy from any more creepy kid shit; she was holding about eighty grocery bags and she didn't seem at all annoyed to see five extra kids in her house and Steve on the floor holding crayons and Billy on her couch. She put all her bags down and smiled them and then at Elijane; she put her hand on the kid's shoulder and touched her hair. “Hi, sweetheart! Did Jim finally let you out of the house?”

“Ye-es,” Elijane said in a real unconvincing tone; Billy grinned at her.

“What are you kids doing?”

“We just told Billy about the gate,” Little Byers told her.

Mrs. Byers looked kind of overwhelmed; she usually looked that way. She looked at Billy and then at her kid. “Oh, sweetie, I don't really know that you should be talking about that – ”

“It's okay, he took it really well!”

“Uh, not really,” Billy said. He needed to smoke like six cigarettes at once like he was the chief or something.

“It's a lot,” Mrs. Byers said to him; she sounded like such a goddamn mom, even though apparently there’d been an alien or a monster in her freezer. She was still playing with El-or-Jane's hair. “It's a lot. But you know, it's been over a year now, and we haven't had any monsters in our refrigerator since.” Steve was making a great face down at his map. “And we have our angel now, so we're all all right, aren't we, sweetheart?”

Elijane was smiling up at her. “We're all right.”

The creepy kids helped Joyce put her groceries away and then she started making noises about taking them all home. Billy figured he ought to be getting Max and heading back too but Max asked if she could go to Elijane's for a while; Mrs. Byers said she'd take her over.

Steve was looking over at him; he was helping Little Byers pick up all his pencils and roll up his map. “You wanna chill or something?” he asked Billy. “Are you still wigging out?”

Billy was still wigging out. “We can chill, if you want,” he decided.

They said bye to Mrs. Byers and the creepy kids; Billy looked at Elijane and thought he'd have to remember the books for her. Fucking traumatized little kid reading mystery novels. He and Steve walked on outside. Billy thought about the last time he and Harrington had been outside at the Byers'.

“What do you wanna do, you wanna go somewhere?” Steve asked him. It was after nine which wasn't late at all, especially with no school or work tomorrow.

“I want to have a fucking drink is what I wanna do.”

“Okay. We can go back to my house, I'll take something of my dad's for you if you want.”

Steve was so goddamn cute; he sounded like fuckin' Tracey talking about hawking her mom's smokes. “Can just go buy a bottle of something.” He didn't want Harrington to think he was just using him for his booze or something. Steve looked surprised; Billy said, “What, I don't get carded.”

“I always forget that I'm actually older than you, you look about 27 goddamn years old.”

“Man, you're three months older than me.”

Steve was walking down the driveway towards his car. “Older than you, taller than you, way better-looking than you. Also my dad probably has way better shit than what you can buy.”

“Yeah, you're the full package, Harrington.” He was still pretty freaked the fuck out but Steve was making him feel okay. Taller than him. By a goddamn half inch.

Steve got into his car and Billy got into his Camaro; he followed Steve down Dearborn and then they turned onto Main. When they got to Steve's house it was all dark again even though it wasn't ten yet, and there weren't any other cars in the big driveway. Billy wondered if Harrington's parents ever came home or if they were even really real parents; he'd only seen them once when they'd been together at the diner. Maybe Steve'd grown up in some kinda test tube too. They went down into the basement (it was an actual finished basment, not all concrete and spiderwebs like at Billy's house) and Harrington showed him his parents’ huge liquor cache.

Billy looked around the fancy basement and thought it was a damn shame that he was destined to marry Elijane; in another timeline he'd try real hard for Steve and get to be his kept woman or something. He wasn't a woman but he'd totally be a kept woman for Harrington. Maybe Elijane could send him through a portal. He was getting kind of hsyterical in his head; eventually he picked out a bottle of whiskey that probably cost more than his and Maxine and Henderson's life and they went back upstairs.

Billy stood in Steve's huge empty kitchen holding the bottle of 32 year old whiskey and looked around. “Can I go play with your dogs?” he asked.

Steve got the wrinkle frown for two seconds but then it went away and he smiled. “Uh, sure, if you want.”

Billy wanted. They went out back and Luke and Leia loped around the huge heated pool and ran at them. “HAHAHA!” Billy said as Luke and Leia jumped on him. He collapsed into a lawn chair and grabbed Leia's paws. “ARE YOU A PUPPY?” he asked her.

“Oh, my god,” said Steve in a weird voice.

“Fucking what?” Billy said. He shook Leia's paws. “ARE YOU A PUPPY, ARE YOU A PUPPY?” he asked her. She snorted and licked his face. “Hahahaha!” Billy said.

Steve sat down next to him; he was holding the 32 year old bottle of whiskey. “I cannot believe you're like this, I have so much blackmail material on you.”

“No one would ever believe you,” Billy said. You had to be nice to animals, they were nicer than people. “Who's a Princess Leia????” he asked Princess Leia. Luke was licking the bottom of his Converse. “Who is???” Then he said, “Okay,” and let go of Leia's paws. “Where's my booze?” Steve gave him the bottle.

“Are you okay?”

“Sure, I ain't fought any monsters,” Billy said, real sarcastic-like. Except maybe not because maybe it all made sense. “Was that shit for real?”

“Yeah, it was for real.”

“I keep thinking of reasons why you guys'd want to fuck with me,” Billy told him. “I mean, you got reasons. But the story is pretty far-fetched. I feel like you guys could make up something better.”

“No, man, it's real,” Steve said. Billy looked over at him; in the light from the moon and the light from the porch he looked real crazy again, also real good. Billy stared back out at the pool. “I mean, like I told you, I wasn't there for most of it. But yeah. That's what we were doing last year when you came to Will's. I would not have had to do that shit if you hadn't knocked me unconscious.”

“Sorry,” Billy said. He actually meant it; he took a real big drink. Steve stared at him drinking until it made him feel bad. Then he said, “El-or-Jane really kill all those people like Mike and Dustin said? Those. Scientists or whatever.”

Steve made a face and shifted on his lawn chair. “Um, I, I really don't know, man. I wasn't – look, I keep saying it, but I wasn't there for that. I seriously just happen to be in the worst place at the worst time. But I guess – I guess she must've. I mean, they were trying to kidnap her, right? They wanted to kill Mike and Lucas and Dustin.”

“Jesus,” Billy said. He took another real big drink. He wasn't sure if he should be terrified or what; mostly he was getting drunk and deciding not to feel anything about it. El'd been so small when he'd first seen her, bleeding in that creek. And now she could squeeze people's brains out with her mind. He wished he could squeeze some fucking people's brains out. He said, “What's the age of consent in Indiana?”

“Um.” Steve looked at him weird. “What?”

“For when I marry that kid,” Billy told him. Steve laughed like he was being funny.

They laid out on the beach chairs for a while and talked; Billy got nice and drunk and felt less freaked out. Then he started feeling kind of romantic which was terrible so he drank more. Then he just felt fuzzy which was okay. Steve told him some more shit about the monsters; apparently that was what had really killed that Barbara girl.

Billy was staring up at the sky; goddamn you could see a lot of stars in Hawkins. You could see everything. “So how d'you know the gate's really closed?”

“Um. I guess I don't.”

“So I could be plastered out right here and some big _Alien_ -type shit could come at me,” Billy said. “You'd run away and be hiding in your wine cellar.”

“Luke and Leia would protect you,” Steve said; Billy was drunk but he was being a goddamn goofball again. “The Force is strong in them.” He made Billy laugh. “Are you okay, can we stop talking about this? The kids talk about the goddamn gate and shit like every day; I kind of liked having one person not know about it.”

“We don't have to talk about the gate,” Billy said. He took another big drink; he needed to stop. “What do you want to talk about? Hey, what about your date?”

“I don't want to talk about that either,” Steve told him. “I told the girl I hung out with a bunch of faggots and then I spilled my drink on her. Then I said, no no no, they're not really faggots, it's a term of endearment, they are all fourteen. I think she is going to ask my dad for a transfer to a building that's even farther away.”

“Oh my god,” Billy said in a great drunk glee. “That is so good, I am so glad you told me that.”

“That's not even the worst thing, I don't want to talk about it.”

“So you didn't kiss her?”

Steve looked at him like he was an insane person. Billy'd still kiss him even though he was an insane person. Yep he needed to stop drinking about twenty minutes ago. “No, I didn't kiss her!”

“I'm just checking.” Steve looked real bummed out and it made Billy feel bad; he was drunk as shit and his little Grinch heart was growing and growing. He didn't know what to say, though. He turned his head and kept looking up at the stars. Then he started pointing them out to Harrington like a great big faggot (it was a term of endearment, after all). “You don't even know what you got out here, man. You can't see shit like this in the city. Cassiopeia, you see the W?”

“Um, kind of.” Steve scraped his chair closer. “Show me.” Billy pointed again.

“I think it's too late to really see the Milky Way or whatever. Uh, you got Ursa Minor, I can't find Major.” Steve laughed at him for some reason. “The Big Dipper, that's always there. Orion's Belt.”

“Huh,” said Steve. “Where's the rest of him?”

Billy licked his lips and didn't say anything. After a second Steve rolled his head to the side and looked at Billy. He was grinning. “Oh my god, I was fucking joking! I'm not that stupid.”

“I ain't say you were stupid.”

“You're like the only one,” Steve said. Then he said real quick, or maybe it was just real quick because Billy was drunk, “How come you know all this shit?”

“It's real gay right?” Billy said. “No, my mom really liked shit like this. She had her books and shit. We used to go out on the roof sometimes. Go out on the beach. Not like fuckin' Venice Beach, we'd go out where there was nobody else.”

“That's really cool, man,” Steve said. “I – that sounds really nice. My mom'd never – I've never been to the beach or anything.”

“Really?” That was a goddamn tragedy.

“Yeah. I mean, I've been to like the mountains and stuff. Uh, Lake Michigan two years ago. I've never seen the actual ocean or anything.”

“Take you if you want,” Billy said; he hadn't really meant to say it.

Steve was looking at him again though. “Yeah? You'd want to?”

“Maybe over the summer or something. We can take Maxine.” Something in Billy's chest was making him itch. He wasn't drunk enough for this; it was too much. It wasn't anything. “If you don't make me beat your fucking face in again or something.”

Steve was sitting up in his chair; when Billy looked over he had the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows again. “Um, okay, I hope you won't,” he said. “I mean I – kind of thought we were friends now or whatever.”

He kind of looked like a kicked puppy again, like how he'd looked at the diner a couple weeks ago. Billy didn't know why it mattered. “Okay, we are friends, Harrington.”

Steve looked at him like a goddamn goofball again. “My friends call me by my actual first name,” he said, “Sometimes, you know.”

“What, I say it.”

“Harrington, asshole, shitbag, Stella. I can't find a Steve in there.”

“You _are_ a shitbag,” Billy said. He was asking so much. “Steve, okay? You happy, Steve?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Steve flopped back in his chair; it was cold as shit out but Billy felt okay. Then Steve said, “ _Willy_ ,” and he felt less okay. Steve laughed at him after he finished swearing. “Okay, show me more shit. What else you got? I want to see Pluto.”

“You can't see Pluto without a telescope,” Billy told him. “If you wait til like 3am we can see Mercury.”

Steve was sliding the bottle of whiskey away from Billy; it scraped real loud on the concrete. “You'll probably need to wait until like 3am to sober up.”

They did wait til 3am and they saw Mercury. Billy felt okay enough to drive and Steve walked him to his car. “Happy Thanksgiving,” he said.

“Yeah, you too,” Billy said. He got in his car and started driving; he turned the radio up. It was POWER 99 as usual 'cause of fucking Max, but apparently they didn't play horrible shit at 3am. 'Sweet Jane' by The Velvet Underground was on and Billy and his mom had liked that song; she'd had that record. He turned it up real loud. Now he had a Jane to think about when he sang it.

He tried to be real quiet when he got into the house. Max'd left all the lights on like a stupid shithead and he went through the living room and the kitchen and down the hall, turning everything dark. In his room he took his clothes off and got into bed. He could still hear the jangly guitar from the song playing in his head. In his head, too, he said _Steve Steve Steve_ like a goddamn girl. He fell asleep and dreamed of the river red with blood in it; the moon was real bright.

* * *

 

Thursday was the new designated D&D night or whatever it was the brat pack was doing; Billy left work after a couple of hours and swung by the library to pick Max up and take her to the Wheelers’. It was a week after Thanksgiving and it was the last day of the month. They saw Elijane trooping down Redwood Lane all by herself in her serious way and Billy pulled over so she could get in the car. Elijane smiled tentatively and said thanks. She and Max whispered their secret girl shit in the backseat; Billy guessed they were getting along better now or whatever.

They pulled up at the Wheelers’ at the same time that Steve got there with Dustin. Steve and Billy nodded at each other and Wheeler Jr ran out of the house to grab Elijane like the controlling freak he was. “Hi Mike, I’m here too!” Dustin said. Elijane put her hand on his arm and he grinned at her. Then he said, “Hey Max! Hey Billy!” which was all right.

“Hey,” Billy and Max. Steve walked over next to them; he didn’t look all too eager about following Henderson in.

“Are you guys coming or what?” Mike asked from the front steps. Steve looked over at him and didn’t answer right away. He was getting that little wrinkle between his eyebrows and Mike rolled his eyes. “Ooooh my god. Nancy’s ... not … home,” he said exaggeratedly.

“All right, fine. Fine.”

“I guess call when you want me to get you,” Billy told Max; she was still getting out of the car like a goddamn snail with her comic books.

“Seriously? You’re leavin’ me?” Steve asked. He was leaning on Billy’s car and smiling all goofy. He still had the eyebrow wrinkle though.

“What, I ain’t invited.”

Steve and Max looked up at Mike on the front steps. Billy didn’t; he didn’t really care either way. Mike sighed hugely with Billy’s two little cheerleaders looking at him. “I guess you can come in if you don’t FLIRT WITH MY MOM AGAIN,” he said. Billy leaned against his car too and gave him a charming smile. “Ugh,” said Mike.

“Yeah, you should come in,” Max said. She was smiling a little and she looked pretty happy. Billy felt all right too; he felt kinda surprised. He and Steve followed the kids inside. The brat pack thundered down to the basement right away and he and Steve headed straight for the kitchen. Mrs. Wheeler was in there making a pie and wearing an amazing dress; Billy swore she looked 25. She definitely wasn’t his type but goddamn if she didn’t look 25. She gave Steve and Billy some cookies and Billy flirted with her a little; he hadn’t told Mike he wouldn’t. Mrs. Wheeler always had awesome snacks and she deserved to be flirted with.

“Mrs. Wheeler, excuse me for saying, but truly, you look amazing. That dress is something else.”

Mrs. Wheeler laughed and put her hand up to her chest; women were so fun. “Oh, my goodness, this old thing? I’m surprised it still fits me.”

“Jesus. It fits you _great_ , Mrs. Wheeler _._ ”

“You are _shameless,_ ” Mrs. Wheeler said. Steve stuffed two cookies in his mouth and made a great face at Billy; Billy grinned at him and leaned far back in his kitchen chair. Mrs. Wheeler fluttered over them a little and Steve ate like 80 cookies in just a couple minutes. He was still chewing and shaking his head once Mrs. Wheeler went upstairs.

“You know, back in the day before you came along, all the moms liked _me,_ ” Steve said. He had some crumbs on his mouth like a fucking animal.

Billy was choosing his next cookie very seriously and he definitely wasn’t looking at Harrington’s mouth. “Tell me, does this hurt you, Steven? Keep ya up at night?”

“I cry sometimes,” Steve said; Billy grinned again. “I cry a lot, really. Mostly I’ve accepted it. I’ve moved on.”

“Surprised you’re not down there playing Labyrinth with the Muppet Babies.”

Steve smiled at Billy saying Muppet Babies. He made Billy say such dumb shit. “Mike’s last campaign was like seven hours long, I have work tomorrow.” Billy started laughing. “What? What?”

“You, you’re so fuckin’ queer.”

“Hey. Don’t knock it til you try it.” Steve found another chocolate cookie buried under the others on the plate; he pointed it at Billy and then stuffed it in his mouth triumphantly.

Billy wisely chose to direct the conversation to other matters. He asked Steve about work and Steve got all wound up talking about some business contract his dad was trying to close. His dad had let him sit in on a conference call; it was some kinda big deal. Billy nodded along and tried to look like he understood why was important; he guessed he and Harrington really were real friends now and friends cared about that stuff, that stuff about each other.

He did care, but not really about that shit, Steve’s work shit, suit and tie bullshit. Even though Steve was wound up he didn’t care about that stuff too much either, Billy knew that. It was just because it was his old man. Harrington should find something he really liked to do, not make service calls all day. He got more wound up talking about what he’d gotten up to with the brat pack or talking about baseball or swimming, those weird maps he’d made with the Byers kid.

Billy didn’t know if he should say that shit or not, though. He just listened to Steve talk. If he was a normal human and knew how to have friends he’d know how much to care about it and what to say. He was too much or too little, it felt like.

The Wheelers had a nice house; it was nice being in there and hearing the kids downstairs and talking to Steve with no parents screaming. Billy liked the way Steve looked when he got worked up, even if it was just over conference calls. He let himself look at Harrington and think his faggy thoughts a little bit; it was just thinking. Steve’s shiny hair was parted in the middle today and it looked good, flopping over his eyes. He looked better in the yellow shirt than Billy had remembered. No tie tonight. Business casual; Billy could dig it.

Then the kids started yelling and arguing downstairs and Billy and Steve had to go play referee; Mrs. Wheeler was in the bathtub. Billy managed with all his might not to make a lecherous comment when she yelled that down; Steve told him he was proud.

“Thanks, I am really tryin’,” Billy said. They went down to the basement. Dustin and Mike and Lucas were all yelling at each other; Max’s face was red and she had her trademark superscowl on. Elijane and Little Byers were sitting on the little couch together looking upset.

Steve was the main referee; Billy was just enjoying the show. “All right!” Steve yelled, holding his hands up. Billy sat down on the couch next to El and Byers. Steve waited until he had everyone’s attention. He looked like a rooster with his hair all sticking up; shit he’d be a nice pet. “What the fuck is going on!”

Everyone started yelling again right away; Steve dropped his arms. “HE STARTED IT!” yelled Max and Sinclair and Wheeler Jr and Henderson. Actually Henderson yelled SHE; he must be brawling with Max. They all pointed around in each other’s faces.

“Okay, okay, can you guys talk one at a time,” Steve was saying. His hands were in the air again. Wheeler Jr jumped up from the table and started yelling over him even more.

Billy wished he had some snacks or popcorn; he should have brought the cookies from upstairs. “What the fuck is going on?” he asked Elijane and Little Byers. Byers made a face and Elijane shook her head a little. She had this weird way of looking at you and not looking at you. “Dragons and boys,” she said.

“Oh. Right.” Billy remember why he basically never asked the kid any questions. She was still his goddamn bride though.

The kids yelled at each other some more; Billy seriously had no clue what the fuck was going on. Steve was the worst referee but eventually he got Wheeler Jr and Henderson to shut the fuck up. Max’s face was bright red the whole time and finally she stomped over to Billy. “LET’S GO!” she screamed in his face and then stormed up the stairs without waiting for him. She was such a joy; she was probably going to steal his fucking car again.

“Later, I guess,” Billy said to Elijane; she only looked sad. He went upstairs after Max and stole a couple cookies as he went through the kitchen. Max was already in the car. She wasn’t hot-wiring it or anything, just sitting in the passenger seat. She was crying a little so Billy didn’t say anything; he just started up the Camaro up and started driving. After a while she stopped crying and he felt relieved. “You okay?”

Max glared at him; she was getting so so good at being a surly teenager. She’d been a fucking surly kid so she’d grown into it well. “LIKE YOU CARE,” she hollered at him.

Billy counted to ten in his head; he only made it to six before he stopped being pissed off. “Okay, all right. So is this like a fight about creepy shit or just stupid kid shit?”

Max scowled some more. “I hate you and I hate all boys,” she said.

Ahh. “Uh-huh,” said Billy.

Max puffed her cheeks out all angry. “And I think Lucas and I broke up.”

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH, Billy thought. He didn’t say it though. “Uh-huh,” he just said again.

“It’s _Dustin’s_ fault,” Max told him. “And Mike. He’s stupid too. They’re both stupid.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said for the third time. “You want me to take ‘em out?”

Max looked thoughtful and Billy felt hopeful. He didn’t care about the brat pack enough to really dislike them anymore, but it’d been a while since he’d got to threaten anyone. He’d take ‘em out if Max wanted. “No,” she said finally. “I don’t want to mess up your relationship with Steve.”

“Don’t got a fucking relationship with Steve,” Billy said right away. Max thought she was so cute. Max rolled her eyes and looked out the window; she didn’t say much else. They got home to their empty house and Max ran into her room right away. Even though the kids had broken up their game or whatever early it was still past ten; Billy let her be. He took a shower and went into his room. He realized he hadn’t said bye or anything to Harrington and felt kind of bad for a moment, but only for a moment. It’s not like he was his goddamn boyfriend or anything.

He drove Max to school the next morning like usual; they both sat in the car in the parking lot and stared at the building. Max still looked all upset and grim. She looked like she was going into a goddamn funeral; she was scowling and not getting out of the car and running to her friends like usual.

Billy’d spent all last year wishing she’d stop fucking around with Sinclair and the brat pack, but he kind of felt like shit for her right now. It was weird to feel like that for someone else, especially over some kiddie bullshit. Not like he’d ever really had good friends or anything like she did. But he remembered how a lot of his pals had ditched him when he’d been with his mom all the time when she’d been dying. He remembered fighting and feeling like shit and dreading going to school a lot.

Billy drummed his hands on the steering wheel. He thought about it. “You got any tests today, Max?”

She looked up at him weird. “No,” she said. “Why?”

“Wanna skip?”

Max’s eyes got big and she started smiling. “Really?”

“Yeah, fuck it, it’s Friday. Long weekend, right?”

“Oh my god, yes!” Max turned the radio up. Billy drove them back home; he kinda couldn’t believe they’d both gotten up and gotten dressed and decided to go to school in the first place. “You have to call us out or pretend to be Neil, they’re gonna keep calling and give us Saturday detention.”

“Okay. Okay, I’m real ill. You gave me the fucking flu drinking my soda, you stupid cunt.” Billy was getting into character; Max threw a blanket over him. Billy put the blanket over his shoulders and called up the school, pretending to shiver. When the guidance office picked up he started coughing and hacking up a fake lung into the phone; Max was grinning at him.”H-hello, Miss Graves? Hi there, how are ya?” Billy coughed up another fake lung. It sounded pretty realistic, he’d been smoking since he was 11. “Hey, this is Billy Hargrove, my sister Maxine and I are really feeling terribly under the weather.” He listened to Graves talk and made a mournful face at Max. “Yeah, yes, I know, there is that flu bug going around, I think we both got it pretty bad. Oh, it’s terrible. Maxine has had the runs all mornin’.”

Max jumped onto the couch next to him and started coughing all over him; Billy held both his middle fingers up at her, cradling the phone against his shoulder. “Yeah, you see, our parents aren’t home so I wanted to give you a call. They work so much, you know … it’s really tough on us ...“ He made another great face at Max. “No, I know, yeah, we really _aren’t_ used to this cold weather.” He started coughing again. Max was laughing so he shoved her off the couch. “Yeah, California babies. I know, I just said to her yesterday, Maxine, we have _got_ to get you a better winter coat … ”

Mrs. Graves lapped up his bullshit. The old ones always did. Max was grinning at him from the floor when he finally hung up. “Dumb bitch.”

“The teachers here are _so_ easy,” Max said. “I haven’t been to science in like a week.”

“The fuck, you’re good at that shit,” Billy said.

“We learned it all last year.”

“ _So,_ it should be easy _this year,_ ” Billy said. He realized he sounded like a damn mom and shut up. “All right, I’m sleeping til three. You good out here?”

“Yeah, you’re sitting on the remote.”

“I just fucking farted on it like four times,” Billy told her. “You still want it?” Max started punching him.

Billy laid down and slept til about noon; when he came back out to the living room Max was laying around watching MTV. They watched music videos for a while and then Billy had to swing by work. He dropped Max off at the arcade and stopped by the shop; Hank was in the front eating a giant sub sandwich.

“Hey Bill, you’re in early today. Ain’t you got school?”

“My kid sister had a big fight with her friends so we skipped out,” Billy told him. It wasn’t worth it to lie to Hank; he was cool.

“That was nice of you,” Hank said. Billy didn’t answer him. “Hey, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want. I just got one job to do.”

“It don’t matter.” He helped Hank tune an engine even though Hank probably didn’t really need his help and then Hank paid him for the week, half in a check and half in cash. “Thanks a lot,” Billy said. “Really. You sure you don’t need me?”

“I do need you up in the front so I don’t gotta deal with these fucking moron customers,” Hank said. “Your favorite, Miss Ellenburg’s pickin’ up her Chevy today.”

“Oh, my lady’s coming in?” Miss Ellenburg was about forty; she was a widow and had an amazing rack. She liked Billy, hated Hank. Billy always made a display of himself cleaning her windshield off for her. She was so much fun. There was no need for them to check her car every month; it was only three years old.

“Yeah, your lady, she’s gonna want my fat ass to clean her windows for her now.” Hank made him laugh. “Thanks for that shit. Nah, go ahead, it’s Friday. Go have fun with your sis.”

“Thanks, man.” Hank clapped him on the shoulder; Billy guessed it was okay for him to do that. He went down to the arcade to pick Max back up; she looked kinda weird standing around by the front when he came in. “What happened? You ran out of quarters that you stole from me?”

“That was one time and I said sorry,” Max said. “I just don’t really want to be here in case the guys come by.”

“Okay.” It was a little past four already. Billy was definitely not dying to be at the arcade; it was really only fun when Harrington was there, making an ass out of himself and being bad at video games. He waved his cash in Max’s face. “Let’s go get a pizza or some shit, yeah?”

Max followed him out to the car; she was making a weird face at him. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Billy felt surprised. “I’m not,” he said. He was just being a normal fucking human. She hadn’t even pissed him off yet today; he hoped she wasn’t going to start.

Max kept looking at him weird. “Okay.”

Billy started up the car; he debated whether he should turn left or right onto Main Street. Rino’s had the best pizza (what passed for pizza in Hawkins), but Hathaways was faster. “What, I always act so fucking horrible?”

“No. Not lately.”

“All right then.”

“Can we get movies?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Billy said, since he was acting _so nice_ apparently. He turned left onto Main; he guessed it would be Rino’s after all. Max spent forever looking at movies while Billy spent forever looking at candy and making eyes at the girls over at the checkout counter. “I want _The Terminator!_ ” he yelled to Max.

“I know.” Max rolled her eyes at him; she was such a classless brat. She finally came over to him holding five fucking tapes and looking hopeful. Billy groaned at her; they were all animated. “Jesus. You want to spend my whole check?”

“Billy, come on, we have all night to watch them!” Then she frowned. “You are going to watch them with me, right?”

Billy couldn’t believe his kid stepsister thought he was going to spend a Friday night watching fucking _Watership Down._ He couldn’t believe he was fucking gonna. Her stupid eyes were getting all big again. “Yeah, I’ll watch ‘em with you, cut your shit out. Did you get my movie?”

“Of course.” Max rolled her eyes and showed him; Billy snatched the other movies from her and rifled through them.

“Oh, no. No. No. I am not sitting through the goddamn _Hobbit_ again.”

Max made a face. “When did you sit through it _before?_ ”

“What?” Billy said. “Don’t question me. Pick another.”

Max rolled her eyes a third time and huffed at him. She was really so rude, since he was renting her movies and getting her a pizza. Christ, the kids these days. He felt like having a martini and commiserating with Mrs. Wheeler. Max ran off and came back with _The Secret of NIMH;_ Billy didn’t know what the secret was but it looked like it was talking animals. It was still probably better than _The Hobbit._ He sighed very heavily. Max smiled and dragged him to the checkout counter. He didn’t flirt with the checkout girls too much; he hadn’t fucked with his hair or anything today.

They went to Rino’s and ordered their pizza; by the time they got home it was after six already. It was a pretty good day so far; really they’d done jack shit and so Billy considered that a good day. Max spread their movies out while Billy went into the kitchen and got sodas. When he came back she’d put on _Alice in Wonderland_ so Billy said “Oh Christ” and went and got a joint from his room. He actually hadn’t smoked in a couple weeks so he got pretty high right away; he kept laughing at the big purple cat and Max told him to shut up four times. Then she piqued her eyebrows at him. “Can I have a hit? Of that?” she asked like a huge dork.

Billy passed the joint over to her anyway. “You gonna tell on me to Harrington?” Then he said, “Shit, what time is it?”

“How should I know?” Max took her hit and then made an awful face and coughed her goddamn lung up for eight minutes; she was so experienced.

Billy got up and wandered into the kitchen to check the time. It was past eight-thirty; he had no clue how the fuck they’d been watching _Alice in Wonderland_ for over two hours. It was Friday and he’n Harrington had been meeting up at the diner every Friday for the last month at least; it hadn’t felt like a Friday since he and Max had skipped. Even so he was a goddamn asshole, he couldn’t even be a proper faggot and think about Harrington all the time or whatever. He’d gotten distracted with Max and her bullshit and her cartoons. He called Steve’s house but his mom said he wasn’t in; Billy asked her to say he’d called and said sorry for not meeting him.

He went back in the living room; Max was still coughing like a freak. He snatched the joint away from her. It’d gone out. “How is this movie so long?” he asked her.

Max looked at him like he was a lunatic. “We watched it twice, do you seriously not remember?”

“What?” said Billy. “The fuck we did!”

“ _Alice_ is my favorite,” Max told him. “You said okay and I rewound it while you were reorganizing the pizza slices and talking about John Steinbeck.”

“Hmmm,” said Billy, real deep. He didn’t remember that either. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so high off of shitty Hawkins weed that he’d started talking about books; he clearly needed to find way cooler friends than Harrington and sweet little Elijane. He realized he’d just called a twelve year old his friend and frowned at himself, even if it was just in his head.

Max was laughing at him, a lot. She was probably buzzed already from her bitty little hit that she’d took. “You look so stupid,” she said.

Billy threw the end of the blunt at her. “Get this shit away from me. I can’t trust anything that makes me watch a Disney movie twice.”

Max got rid of the rest of the joint – Billy didn’t want to ask what she’d did with it – and he laid on the couch while she set up their next movie. “ _Rock and Rule_ or _Black Beauty?_ ” Max asked him.

“ _Terminator!_ ” Max put on _Black Beauty_ because she was the worst. The watched their movies and Max passed out on the loveseat around midnight; Billy covered her with the throw blanket from the couch and went into his room. Harrington hadn’t called him back and he felt like a sulky bitch about it. He smoked a couple cigarettes and fell asleep too.

He woke up weirdly early; he always felt so refreshed after he’d smoked for the first time in a while. Max was awake too and she wrinkled her nose up at him when he came out into the living room. “God, Billy. Can you put a shirt on for once in your life?”

Billy looked down at himself; he kinda didn’t even remember taking his shirt off last night. “Sorry I’m not your sexy chocolate Sinclair bar,” he said. Max made a face at him and Billy kind of felt like an asshole; he hadn’t meant to mention the kid to her. Since he’d made her make a face he went back to his room to find a shirt to wear. He hadn’t done the wash in forever and the only shirt he could find was the t-shirt Harrington’d given him when he’d busted his nose fighting those two guys at the arcade. Susan’d washed it forever ago and it had ended up in his room.

He went back out to the living room and spread his arms out. “Better?”

Max made another face; it was making him laugh. “Not really.” Okay, the shirt was a little tight. “Is that Steve’s shirt?”

“Yeah, remember, he gave it to me after I beat up those guys for you and Henderson.”

“Oh yeah!” said Max. “That is sooo sweet, what else did he give you?” Billy flipped her off.

They went into the kitchen and made breakfast together; it was real cute. They could only act like an actual family when their parents weren’t around apparently. That was fine by Billy. Max made him make the scrambled eggs because she said he did it better.

They ate their food and were too lazy to get up and put another movie on; Max found the remote buried behind the couch and put the Saturday morning cartoons on. _Thunder Cats_ was on and _Scooby-Doo_ came on after it; it was one of the hour-long ones with the special guest stars. The Addams Family was in this one; Billy hadn’t seen it since he was a kid.

“Don’t you want to see Wednesday again?” Daphne was asking Shaggy on the TV.

“I sure do,” Shaggy said. “And I want to see Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, too!” Billy cackled over his toast; Max looked at him being a stupid dumbass and started laughing too. Billy poked her in the head with his fork. They both looked up at the TV again and then Max gasped and almost dropped her plate; Harrington was standing at the window to the right of the TV and grinning at them with his face all mashed up against the pane.

“Fucking Christ!” Billy said. He rubbed his shoulder and got up and went to the window and threw it open. He hoped he hadn’t looked as freaked out as Max had. “There’s this actual thing called a door, I think you might have seen one of ‘em once or twice in your life.”

Steve was grinning at him. He ducked his head and just started coming through the window like a crazy person; Billy didn’t back up on purpose and Steve knocked into him. He didn’t move his shoulder away from Billy’s for a couple seconds. “I did knock on the actual door, asshole, I was knocking for like five minutes! You guys were too busy out here having a ball with, uh,” he looked at the TV, “ _Scooby-Doo_ apparently. I could hear the laugh-track out front.”

Billy seriously hoped Steve wasn’t about to rag on Scooby; he’d hate it if Harrington disappointed him like that. He opened his mouth to defend the show but Steve all of a sudden was looking at him weird. His eyes were flickering all around Billy’s shoulders. “What?”

“Nothing.” Steve kept staring at him; he crossed his arms over his chest and brought a hand to his mouth to start chewing on his nails. His grossest habit in Billy’s opinion. Steve said, “Is that my shirt?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Billy looked down at himself. “You want it or something? I don’t got anything clean.”

“Uh, no, that’s okay.” Steve kept staring at him; he was starting to get the eyebrow wrinkle and it made Billy feel weird as fuck. He was about to tell Harrington not to worry and that he hadn’t slept in the shirt like he was Steve’s goddamn boyfriend or something but then Steve just frowned and said, “That’s uh, real tight on you, man. It’s not tight on me. You are seriously giving me, like, a huge body complex, do you think you could try to look less good or something?”

“Oh.” Billy stopped feeling weird. Actually he felt more weird but it really wasn’t bad. He leaned against the window to give Harrington a nice little show of how good he looked. “You’ll fill out one day, honey.”

“Ha ha.”

“Hey, you know, some people like skinny guys,” Billy told him, real nice. “I dunno where those people are, but they’re probably out there somewhere.”

“Thank you so much.”

“We can work out together if you want,” Billy said. Yeah, that was a real great idea. “I’ll show you my routine or whatever.”

“Yeah? You gonna train me?” Harrington was grinning at him; he was still chewing on his nail like a gross person.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll train you. Make you my bitch is what I’ll do.”

“Steve?” Max said and Harrington finally looked away from him. She was taking advantage of Billy being across the room and drinking his whole damn glass of orange juice. “I know Billy’s real distracting in your tiny shirt, but could you move? You’re blocking the whole TV.”

“Oh! Right, sorry.”

“Just tell him to stand sideways, he’ll disappear,” Billy said. Steve flipped him off and went and stood by the couch next to Max. Billy closed the window and then crossed the room to sit back down.

Max looked up at Steve standing by the TV. Billy looked at him too, since Max was looking. He had his green jacket on like usual and one of his Hawkins sports t-shirts on. His hair was more messed up than it normally was. Billy said, “So what’re you doing here anyway? You checking up on us?”

“What? Oh, no.” Steve looked kind of embarrassed; the arms crossed again and the hand went back up to his mouth. If Billy was closer he’d pull it away. “No, sorry. Uh, just, I thought maybe since we didn’t do nothing last night you’d want to do something today.”

“It’s like nine in the morning,” Max pointed out.

Steve laughed kind of shortly, it turned into a sigh halfway through. “Yeah, I know. I don’t really sleep good anymore.”

“How come?”

“Uh. I don’t know.” Steve had the corner of his thumb in his mouth and was gnawing away at the nail. “I was just driving, I didn’t think you guys’d really be awake. I can - go if you want.”

Max and Billy looked at each other, just for a split second. “Nah, it’s cool with me,” Billy said.

“There’s food if you want it, Billy and I made breakfast,” Max told Steve.

Steve looked happy; he even stopped chewing on his nail and shit. “Okay, cool, thanks.” He went into the kitchen and started clattering around. Max shifted on the couch and looked at Billy for a second; he looked back at her. He couldn’t tell if they were thinking the same thing. It was the first time Harrington’d really been in their house and Billy was trying not to feel weird about it. His house was fine for him and Max but Harrington was a pretty boy rich boy; just his garage was about the size of this whole place.

Steve stuck his head through the kitchen doorway. “Hey, can I use your coffee maker?”

“Sure,” Billy said. Max turned the TV down a little; it really was pretty loud.

Steve stuck his head through the doorway again a minute later. “Hey, can I have the rest of this pizza?”

Max made a great face. “Sure,” Billy said again.

Steve came back out with his coffee and his toast and eggs and pizza. He’d even heated up the pizza too, he was a disgusting human. “You fuckin’ barbarian, you can’t reheat pizza,” Billy told him.

“It’s breakfast pizza, it’s different,” Steve said. He took a huge bite of it and then immediately drank coffee; Billy kind of felt like he was making a great face too probably.

“I’m looking at you right now and I kind of want to puke,” Max told Steve; her voice was laden with regret.

“Ha, funny, that’s literally what my date last week said at the end of the night,” Steve said.

“Awwwwww,” said Billy. “Stevie.”

“I am not even kidding, I still didn’t get to tell you all of it.” Steve picked at the pizza crust. “Actually I’m not going to, I never will, I just made myself really sad.”

“Awwwwww, Stevie,” said Max too. Steve grinned at them.

Max got up eventually after _Scooby-Doo_ ended (the gang did find Wednesday, of course) and put on their last movie; it was time for _The Terminator._ Fucking finally!

“Should have known this was your favorite movie,” Steve said to Billy. He kept getting up and getting more food; he was like a human garbage disposal. Billy was trash so Harrington could eat him up. Jesus he needed to stop. Steve ate the rest of their pizza and the eggs and then stole the rest of Billy’s cold toast. Max moved over to the smaller couch again so that Harrington could stretch out in his food coma. He dug his feet under Billy’s thigh and wriggled his toes against the couch cushion.

Billy moved away from him but he was already at the edge of the couch; Harrington was playing a dangerous game here. “Quit flirting with me, you fuckin’ fag.”

“It’s cold in here,” Steve whined like a huge baby. He lolled his head back on the arm of the couch.

Billy ignored him being a huge baby. He felt pretty good in his house with no parents and with Max and Harrington. _The Terminator_ wasn’t his favorite movie but it was pretty goddamn good. He wondered if they’d ever make a sequel or something. Michael Biehn grabbed Linda Hamilton’s arm all intense. “Come with me if you want to live,” he said; it was so fucking good. Billy aspired to one day be that level of fucking badass. He looked over at Harrington sprawled out on the couch next to him, half-asleep with his mouth open and pizza crumbs on his shirt. He could be Billy’s Linda Hamilton or something.

The phone rang and Max dragged herself up off the couch to answer it; it was Susan calling to check up on them. Max dragged the cord into the kitchen and talked to her for a while; she came back out rolling her eyes and handed the phone to Billy. Billy took it from her. “Hey Susan,” he said. Susan said hi and how are you; she said she was just calling to check up on them.

“Max told me she had a little fight with her friends, thank you for being there with her.”

Billy didn’t know how little of a fight it was but he wasn’t going to gossip with Max’s mom when the kid was right there in the fucking room. He got up and wandered into the kitchen too. “Oh yeah, we just had a movie night and ordered some pizza,” he said. He didn’t think Susan’d want to hear about skipping school and the joint they’d smoked.

Susan told him he was a real sweetheart; it made him roll his eyes but she was all right. She talked for a while about her sister’s and told him she was coming home in the morning; she said for him and Max to start thinking about what they wanted for Sunday dinner. Billy finally got her off the phone after about a million years and came back into the living room. He’d missed the end of the movie and the credits were playing.

Max was asleep on the loveseat across the room with her blanket from last night wrapped around her. Billy guessed she was real exhausted from a big morning of being a super brat. Harrington was asleep too, rolled over onto his side with his arm dangling off the couch and his mouth open a little; he looked real sexy and all. Billy leaned against the wall by the kitchen door for a minute and looked at him. He looked tired as shit. Those rings were back under his eyes and in the dark of the living room they looked almost purple against his pale face. Even sleeping he looked kinda unhappy; his mouth was turned down and he had that frown wrinkle right between his eyebrows.

Billy went into his room and looked through his closet; he hesitated for a moment before he pulled his old blanket out; his mom’d made it for him when he was a kid. Back out in the living room he bent over Steve and moved his arm so it wasn’t hanging off the edge of the couch anymore and covered him up with the blanket; pretty boy was probably cold. Harrington didn’t even move. He was real knocked out. Billy drew the blanket up to Steve’s shoulders and looked at him, looked at his tired face. He reached out smoothed his big hair back from his forehead, then let his hand drift down. He touched Harrington’s hair that was falling over the side of his neck, just for a moment. He only let himself touch him for a moment. It didn’t mean anything anyway, didn’t have to. Steve’s hair was real soft though.

Billy straightened up and turned away from Steve. Max wasn’t asleep and she laying there across the room was staring at him; her blue eyes were wide and unreadable. They flickered back and forth between him and Steve and then stayed planted on his face. She looked shocked out of her goddamn mind.

Billy scowled and stormed past her to take a shower. Max stared at him the whole time he went by. “Fucking what!”

“Nothing,” said Max. “Nothing, nothing.” She pulled the blanket over her head.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you guys got together, I'd have like two brothers. Not that you're my brother,” Max told him.
> 
> Billy leaned against the sink. “Uh-huh.”
> 
> “We could play his Nintendo all the time! Use his pool. Billy, he could take us to the country club probably.”
> 
> “Is that what the gays do out here in Indiana?” Billy asked her.

 

**Chapter Five**

 

 _Last Christmas I gave you my heart_  
_But the very next day you gave it away_  
_This year, to save me from tears_  
_I'll give it to someone special_  
_Once bitten and twice shy_  
_I keep my distance but you still catch my eye_  
_Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?_  
_It's been a year, it doesn't surprise me_  
– 'Last Christmas,' WHAM!

 

**December 1986**

Billy stayed in the shower for a long time; he stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. He didn't feel like going back out there and looking at Max's surprised little face. Even so after he got dressed there was nothing to do but go back into the living room. He still had no clean clothes so he had to put Steve's little t-shirt on again which was a great thing.

Max was still sitting on the loveseat but she was dressed too now in faded jeans and her yellow sweater with the frayed collar. She looked up at him when he came out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe. She still had the weird shell-shocked look on her face, like he'd slapped her around and she was in a big daze. You'd've thought she'd walked in on him fuckin' blowing Harrington or something; Billy had no clue what she was thinking.

Max narrowed her eyes and then stared at him some more. Her mouth twisted up. Then she said, “Can I go over to Bev's house?”

“I don't care what you do.”

“Okay.” She was already grabbing up her bookbag – he guessed she'd packed up all her stuff in a big hurry while he'd been in the shower – and skittering off towards the front door. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob again and looked back at him. She looked like she didn't recognize him. “I'm, I'm gonna sleep over there.”

“'member your mom's coming back at five tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know, I'll be back.” Out the door she went; goddamn but she was in a big rush to get the fuck away from him now after clinging to him all month and beyond. Billy counted to ten in his head twice; he went and sat down on the smaller couch. He looked at Steve for a couple seconds, his big problem. Definitely the biggest problem now that Maxine maybe knew; with the way she was acting there was no way she didn't know.

It made Billy feel kind of down, kind of dirty or something. He knew he should be feeling that way anyway but he felt disappointed. Not that he was gonna ever tell anyone but if he did ever tell anyone. Like maybe if El-or-Jane sent him through a portal or something. And he was in a place where he could tell someone. Just one thing. He'd figured that the person he'd tell would probably be Max. But now he guessed not. Sometimes Max tricked him; people fuckin’ loved to do that, trick you. Sometimes he was a fucking dumbass and he’d forget for two minutes that Max was actually for shit.

Steve was still knocked the fuck out; he'd curled up in Billy's quilt like a baby. The VCR had gone off and the blue of the TV screen shown on his face. Billy went into his room and picked up all his dirty clothes; he went down into the basement and turned the washing machine on.

While he was down there he hunted through a bunch of boxes in the corner of the basement by the window. They'd been living here for over a year now and he and Max still hadn't unpacked half their shit. He guessed they both still kinda felt like they were temporary people in Hawkins. He certainly felt temporary; maybe he didn't have a clue what the fuck Max thought.

Mostly they had a bunch of baby shit anyway. He found a box full of Max's Legos and her ugly old stuffed bear that had buttons sewn on for the eyes. He found a couple more of his mom's records that he'd been looking for. Rolling Stones and The Steve Miller Band; his mom had liked the best music. He remembered he’d used to spend whole Sundays in her room with her, listening to records and watching the TV on mute. Even when she’d gotten real sick they’d done that. He could remember the sun coming in through the curtains. The way it’d looked and felt. See his mom’s red hair in the light, he could hear her laughing. Weird how you could remember some stuff like that so clear, imprinted in your mind like a painting on a glass window.

He opened up a box of old books that were his and Max's and a couple of Susan's shitty romance paperbacks. Max had a bunch of _Frog and Toad_ books from when she’d been real small; he found _Bridge to Terabithia_ too which was still the goddamn most depressing thing he'd ever read in his life. Nothing too good for Elijane, he thought. Maybe it wouldn't be too weird if he bought a book or something for the kid. It was almost Christmas time after all.

That was if Max didn't squawk her damn head off to Susan and his old man about Billy making eyes at Harrington; it was just making eyes but Billy'd be deader than a doornail for Christmas if his old man ever found out. He didn’t know if Max would squawk but she might.

Goddamn but he felt pissed off; he didn't feel like being pissed off at Maxine. It seemed like he'd been mad at her for the better part of a year and he didn't feel like feeling that way anymore. It felt good not to be so angry it made you tired. He hadn’t thought she’d look at him like that.

Billy finished his clothes; he switched out Steve's little shirt for his Metallic tee with the cut off sleeves. Back upstairs Steve was still sleeping away. Billy rolled his eyes and went into his room for his backpack. It was pretty lame to do homework on a Saturday afternoon but he had shit else to do; Maxine was apparently terrified of him now and the only guy he liked being around was passed the fuck out on his couch.

He muddled through his math problems – they were into about three sets of parentheses now which were three too many – and started his new book for English. They were reading _The Awakening_ now; Billy guessed women had had it pretty tough for about forever. He got through three chapters and then Steve was snorting and almost falling off the couch. He sat up real crazy real fast and looked around.

“Oh my god, okay,” he said like a huge freak. He looked around some more. “What was I, did I fall asleep?”

Billy closed his book up; he was laying on the smaller couch with his feet dangling off the edge. “Yeah, you were out for a while, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Oh. Oh, sorry, you coulda woken me up. What time is it?”

There was a clock on the wall right above Steve's head but Billy didn't feel the need to point that out. “Uh. Like four o'clock.”

“Je-sus, I slept for five hours?” Some of his hair was sticking straight up towards the ceiling. ”Sorry. You coulda woke me up, jeez.”

“You looked like you needed it.” Steve stared at him and didn't say anything. Billy said, “It don't matter.”

“Mm.” Steve rubbed his face. He still had Billy's quilt wrapped around him; he wiggled around and then put the quilt over his head and looked out at Billy from it like he was an Eskimo. He was so fuckin' weird. He was also cute as hell and it hit Billy like a truck again; Billy lamented his life. Why’d he have to feel this way. Why'd he have to feel this way. “Where's Max?”

“Went to her friends.”

“Oh.” Harrington kept staring at him with the blanket around his head. Then he said, “I'm hungry. Are you doing anything, can we get more food?”

Billy wasn't doing anything. “Yeah we can get more food,” he said.

 

They went out and got food; Steve whined a lot in the diner like a big baby and said that his neck hurt from Billy's couch. Billy wasn't about to rub it for him or some shit. Then they went back to Steve's house; it was all empty again like usual. Steve made a face and didn't answer when Billy said, “Shit, your folks ever here?”

They went out back so that Billy could play with Luke and Leia; Steve laughed his ass off at Billy like usual. Billy didn't see what was so funny. It was still snowing like crazy but they stayed outside for a while. Princess Leia could catch a Frisbee like a pro; Billy was pretty sure she could be state champ. Harrington also laughed when he said this because he was an asshole who didn't appreciate his dogs.

“DID YOU CATCH A FRISBEE?” Billy asked Leia. She wagged her tail hard and laid down and snuffled in the snow; she was real tired from jumping around the yard. “Harrington, I swear to god, I'll breaking your fucking nose.”

“Oh my god, man, you're like a little kid.”

“I haven’t had a pet before!” Billy told him again, with a lot of passion so that Steve’d understand he was for shit. Then he said, “LUKE LUKE LUKE,” and petted Luke; he didn't want him to feel neglected. Luke ran around in a huge circle and knocked Steve the fuck down. “HAHAHA!” Billy said; it was great. He had high hopes that one day Luke would knock Steve into the pool. Steve wasn’t supposed to but he brought the dogs into the house since it was a fuckin’ snowstorm again.

He left Steve's at around nine; he felt like it was time to go. All in all he'd spent about twelve hours with Harrington. Granted he'd been asleep for half the time but it still counted. Billy thought it was a big deal when you could be around someone for more than an hour and not want to punch them; it was a big deal because Steve's face was quite punchable in fact.

Back at his house he instantly felt bored; he didn't have shit to do. He hadn't been fucking around with the guys from shop class that much anymore; usually on Saturday nights he was out with Max and the Creepy Kid Club now. He watched MTV for a while: Concrete Blonde had some new song out that Max would think kicked ass. He smoked the last of the weed he'd hawked off Tommy Hall and fell asleep past midnight.

Sunday was more boring shit; Billy actually started cleaning the house so's Susan wouldn't come home and flip her shit. She called in at about two anyway all distressed. It was snowing again and her train out of Indianapolis was shut down for the day already and she was stuck at her sister’s. She apologized fifty times like usual and said she'd be home first thing in the morning; Billy told her they'd manage without her somehow.

Max came in around four; she had snow in her hair and was still in her grubby yellow sweater. She stared at him from the door again like she was surprised he was still alive and hadn't exploded out into rainbow particles or some shit. Billy'd felt okay all yesterday with Steve and he'd felt okay today but now he felt less okay with her staring at him like that.

“Your mom ain't here,” he told Max in case she felt the need to run the fuck away from him again.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Her train got canceled; she ain't gonna be back until tomorrow now.”

“Okay.” Max kept staring at him. Then she just said, “Is there anything to eat here?”

“Hell if I know.”

Max followed him into the kitchen; they decided to make spaghetti since it was the only thing left in the house aside from eggs and cereal. Max didn't say much and she turned the little radio on the counter on. Usually Billy'd be overjoyed for her silence.

Max cut up a bunch of hot dogs like a gross gremlin to put into her pasta. She stared at him over the big bowl.

“Don't you fucking dare.” Max laughed at him and then took some noodles for herself; she dumped all her cold hot dogs into her bowl and then poured some sauce over it. Billy mostly managed not to gag.

Then Max stared at him some more. “Can we talk about Steve?” she asked finally.

“There's nothin’ to talk about.” Billy didn't even know why he was sitting at the goddamn table with her.

“I didn't mean to freak out yesterday.” Max kept looking at him. “I was just ... surprised.”

Billy didn't answer her.

Max said, “I just – I just, I thought you liked girls. You’ve always liked girls. I mean, you and Tracey – “

“Don _’_ t fuckin’ talk about fuckin' Tracey to me.” He hadn’t meant to sound so mad but it came out like a growl anyway.

“ _S_ _orry._ God.” Max pursed her lips up at him; it was her worst gremlin face. “I liked her too, you know.”

“Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you liked her.”

“Do you always have to be such a _dick?”_ Max asked him. “It's not like I knew Neil was going to keep you from seeing her! I didn't know my mom was going to tell him!”

“Whatever. You fuckin' knew.”

“No I didn't!” Max yapped her head off. “I was _worried_ about you!”

She was a goddamn piece of work. “I said don't fucking talk about her, okay?” Goddamn he didn't want to think about Tracey; he never did. He'd thought it before but she'd always seemed real young to him. Hell she was only about two years older than Max, really. Tracey had no dad and no family; her mom was a junkie so she was always alone. Billy'd screamed his head off at her and then fucked off to Indiana. He didn't want to think about Tracey. He guessed she was his other big problem, even now. Jesus he'd left her all alone.

“ _Fine._ ” Max stared at him some more. She started eating her pasta and kept staring at him. She was looking and looking at him. Billy didn't like people looking at him too much, not like how she was looking.

“Max.”

“ _What_?” Max ate more of her gross hot dogs. “So do you like Steve now or something?”

“The fuck I like Steve.”

Max stared at him; she swirled her fork around her plate. “I never really saw you look at anyone that way before. Even – “ she made a face; thought better of it. She said, “You never looked at _Jack_ that way.”

Billy almost laughed; Jack was for shit. Also he was a blonde and liked fuckin’ Devo. He said, “Look, it doesn't matter, okay.”

“It'd be okay if you liked Steve,” Max told him. “I like him. And I wouldn't tell anyone!”

“Yeah, I bet you wouldn't tell anyone. Til you fuckin' get in trouble over some shit again and then run squealing to your mom.”

“I wouldn't do that!” Max yapped. “Look, I said I'm sorry a million times about Tracey, I wouldn't do that anymore! I kept quiet about El and the demodogs for a _year_ , I can keep quiet about stuff! I'm getting _better,_ ” she told him. Her fork scraped on her plate. “Maybe you are too.”

“Whatever.”

Max kept staring at him and torturing him. “So _do_ you like Steve?”

“I don't fuckin' like Steve,” Billy told her. “I can't like Steve. I'm not a fuckin' queer.” He couldn't be a fuckin' queer. He couldn't be a fuckin' queer in this house; he thought Max understood that.

She was making a terrible face. “God, why does it matter so much?”

“BECAUSE I'M NOT FUCKIN' QUEER,” Billy yelled at her.

Max scrunched her mouth up at him again and sat back in her chair; she looked like a little rat. “You don't have to _say it_ like that,” she said. “ _God,_ Billy. Jesus. You – there's people that don't care about that. Why can't you just be, whatever, be Billy that likes Steve?”

Billy didn't say anything. He leaned forward on his elbows and started eating his pasta; it was cold now.

Max stared at him and stared at him with her blue bug eyes, then she narrowed them. He could feel the storm brewing; he could feel her getting ready to go off.

The womanly hysteria kicked up to at least a six right away. “YOU KNOW, I thought we were starting to be FRIENDS AGAIN,” Max caterwauled. Billy sighed, externally and internally. “You NEVER tell me ANYTHING, and I've told you SO MUCH. I TOOK YOU to the DINER to MEET EL! SHE FLOATED A SALT SHAKER FOR YOU!”

“Je-sus, the fuck are you even going on about – “

The womanly hysteria kicked up to about an eight; Billy leaned back in slight actual terror. Max's face was all red which meant she was either gonna shriek or cry. He had no clue why the fuck she was getting so worked up. “YOU'RE LIKE MY ONLY FAMILY HERE AND MY MOM'S A ZOMBIE!!!!!!!” Max went the fuck off. “YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH ALL MY FRIENDS NOW AND YOU BEAT UP TWO GUYS FOR WILL!!!!!!!” She absolutely wailed Will's name; it sounded like _Wiiiiiiiillll_. “I FIND OUT maybe you LIKE SOMEONE and you just TREAT ME LIKE SHIT. STEVE'S A GOOD PERSON! HE HAS A NINTENDO! WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO – “

“Excuse me, excuse me, _I_ treat you like shit? You're the one who fucking booked it out of here yesterday like I just got diagnosed with fucking AIDS.”

“I WAS SURPRISED!” Max yelled back at him. “I NEVER SAW YOU LOOK LIKE THAT BEFORE, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU HAVE AN EMOTION BEFORE!”

Jesus she was crazy. “What the fuck does that even mean? I fuckin' have emotions all the time.”

“Yeah, Billy smash, Billy yell!” She was real cute. “You actually looked like a real human for two seconds, you looked like you really liked him and stuff! I guess it was so horrible!”

“God, you're such a bitch.”

Max made a face at him; then she leaned her elbows on the table too and stared at him. She narrowed her blue bug eyes and then widened them. She speared one of her gross hot dog bits and slowly started moving it towards him.

“THE FUCK!” said Billy; he smacked her fork out of her hand. Max looked surprised, then started laughing at him. She looked at him for a moment and picked her fork back up off the table. She'd stopped laughing. Now she was just looking at him again.

Billy felt trapped and like his head was in a vise. It didn't matter what Max thought. He knew it didn't matter. But she was still looking at him. “You’re such a bitch, Max,” he told her again. Max just stared at him and clutched her fork; she was making his head hurt. “All right, fucking fine. I like Steve, okay?”

Max dropped her fork. “OH MY GOD, OKAY!” she said, real excited. “OKAY! Okay okay.”

“Max, I _swear to god_ \-- ”

“No no no I'm cool, Billy.” Max stuffed eighty hot dog bits into her face; Billy mostly managed not to gag again. Muffled: “How long have you liked him?”

The magnitude of how much Billy didn’t want to talk about this was insurmountable. It was inconceivable. It was innumerable. It was like three or four other big words he couldn’t think up right then. He actually thought he’d prefer Maxine being disgusted and running the fuck away from him again. “I don’t know. Two days.”

Max rolled her eyes at him. “Since the summer?” she demanded.

“No,” lied Billy. Maybe lied. He didn’t know. He didn’t know anymore; it didn’t matter. “I don’t know,” he said. “Couple months or something.” Felt like forever when you didn’t get what you wanted.

“That’s still a _long_ time,” Max said with all of her fourteen years of wisdom. “Wow,” she said. She ate some more of her pasta. Then her eyes bugged out and she started choking on her stupid hot dogs. She coughed and swallowed. “Wait, so does he like you back? OH MY GOD. Are you guys doing stuff?“

“MAX!” Billy said. He briefly went deaf dumb and blind over Max thinking about him and Harrington doing stuff. Then he went deaf dumb and blind just thinking about him and Harrington doing stuff. “Oh my fucking god, chill your roll. He doesn't fucking like me, Jesus. He has no idea.” Not that you had to like people to do stuff with them but that was the ideal, wasn’t it, the _Sixteen Candles_ shit. He did like Steve, as awful as it was to admit, so it’d be the real _Sixteen Candles_ shit.

“Are you sure?” Max tried to give him a mysterious look over her pasta; mostly it looked like she was having some kinda facial spasm. “Like, I mean, I kind of thought you liked him before.”

“Great, that’s real great.”  

“You stare at him like all the time,” Max informed him. “Also you do this weird thing with your tongue, like, a _lot._ ”

What was she even talking about? “The fuck I do.”

Max ignored his tone; now she was looking down at her pasta all serious. Her stupid bug eyes glazed over. Billy sighed: the womanly hysteria was awful and all, but this look was even worse. She looked like she was watching _Love Story._ “I think he likes you too!”

Billy was not gonna do that to himself. “Oh my god, okay, we're done talking about this.”

“No, come on!” Max yapped. “I _know things_ , Billy.”

“Uh-huh. What things do you know.” Billy missed being fourteen and thinking he knew shit.

Max made a face. “Um. _Well_. I know he – I, I just know things!” Billy rolled his eyes; he started taking his plate to the sink. “He looks at you too!”

“Yeah, do you blame him?”

“Oh my god,” Max huffed. She followed him to the sink. “If you guys got together, it'd be so cool. You guys are already friends, I never even thought you'd be friends.”

Jesus she was making him tired. “Max, we ain't talking about this.”

Max took his plate from him and started scraping it into the garbage disposal. She blabbered on over the sink gurgling. “If you guys got together, I'd have like two brothers. Not that you're my brother,” she told him.

Billy leaned against the sink. “Uh-huh.”

“We could play his Nintendo all the time! Use his pool. Billy, he could take us to the _country club_ probably.”

“Is that what the gays do out here in Indiana?” Billy asked her.

Maxine ignored him. “You could show him how to actually change a tire. Oh! We could take him to the beach back home.”

Billy didn't really feel that it was necessary to tell her that he'd already gotten drunk and romantic and told Steve all about how he'd take him and Maxine to the beach. Max started laughing like a demon. “How many hot dogs do you think he could eat at once?”

Billy was going to have to kill her; there was no way around it. “Max, this ain't a fucking Disney movie, okay? It’s not gonna happen.” Actually it'd _definitely_ never happen if it was a Disney movie; probably even in 2017 they'd never show two queers together on screen for more than eight seconds. Not that Steve was queer – maybe Billy didn't have to be either. Maybe he could just be Billy that liked Steve.

Max yapped on and on. Even though it was her turn to do the dishes, Billy helped her dry.

* * *

Monday morning Susan came back just in time to burn up the last of the eggs for them; Billy and Max choked down as much as they could and dashed out to the Camaro. It’d snowed a couple inches and Max popped into the driver’s side to start the car up; it took her a few tries. Then she helped Billy dig the car out and part of the driveway so Susan could at least walk around a little. All the while they bitched to each other about how terrible and cold Indiana was; it was hell’s asshole if hell had froze over. They finally got into the car and drove off down the street. On the way up Dearborn Street they passed Neil heading towards the house in his Sedan.

Max made a great face; Billy was sure he looked the same. “I thought he wasn’t supposed to be back until Wednesday,” Max said.

“Yeah, merry fuckin’ Christmas,” Billy told her. They got to school and parted ways; Billy went off to fail his science test and Max went off to fail her math test. Henderson was conveniently avoiding him in study hall today and Billy couldn’t say he minded. Some girl came over and sat by him and they flirted a little; Billy thought she’d either been Velma from _Scooby-Doo_ or Sandy from _Grease_ at that party back on Halloween. It didn’t hurt to flirt. You had to keep your game up, even if you couldn’t get who you wanted. He left her giggling into her binder and went off to push a kid into a locker for Little Byers, his new routine before and after shop class it seemed.

After school Billy had to go to work and Max had nothing to do, nothing to do at all!, she wailed like a dramatic bitch. She looked all mournful and shit sitting in the Camaro as she decided where to go. Both of them didn’t want to go home. “Pretty much the only people I’m talking to right now are El and MAYBE Will,” Max informed him. “And _you_ , I guess.” Billy tried not to feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude; he put his hand over his heart. Max ignored him and yapped on. “And El BARELY talks. Mike’s usually with her, can’t I just come to your work Billy? I won’t even touch anything.”

Billy rolled his eyes at her; he wanted to tell her no. Even though she apparently wanted him and Harrington to hook up and take her to the country club he still felt like he was on dangerous ground with her.

Anyway, even more than that, he kinda felt bad for her. It didn’t matter but he felt bad. He could remember back to a time when his mom had been real real sick and then after she’d died. After she’d died but before he’d met Max and started really dating Tracey and had had them to drag around to places. He remembered dreading going home a lot; shit he’d do anything not to go home. Even now even still he’d do anything not to go home.

“You gotta stay up front and if Hank says you’re going, you’re going.”

Max beamed at him like sunshine melting the snow or some shit. “Okay!”

Hank didn’t say she was going. Max sat up front with him and chatted his fat ear off while Billy sighed and went into the back. There was a Honda Civic that’d been brought in with half its front end torn off; Billy guessed it’d taken a bad turn out in the storm Saturday night. He probably shouldn’t have let Maxine go off all over town when it’d been bad out like that. Hank’d started a list of shit they needed to fix; Billy pulled himself under the engine and started adding to the list in his head.

When he came back out front two hours later Maxine was almost finished telling Hank Billy’s whole life story as she knew it. They were eating a huge pizza that Hank’d probably pulled out of his ass somehow; it didn’t look like it was from Rino’s or Mike’s. “You kids really go out to see Def Leppard together?” Hank asked him.

“Went out to San Diego.” Susan and Neil still didn’t know he and Tracey’d been out there, nonetheless that they’d taken Max. It’d been the _Pyromania_ tour; he and Max still liked the song ‘Photograph.’

“Think they came to Indianapolis in ‘83; we don’t get shit around here though.”

“We know,” said Max. At least they had 102.5. Max got the look on her face that said she was about to ask Hank about ‘Blister in the Sun’; Billy leaned on the counter and started detailing to Hank all the shit the Civic was gonna need done to it.

“You want this to be your project, Bill?” Hank asked him because he was a lazy fuck. Billy didn’t mind, though; Hank paid him by the job. “I’ll teach you how to weld. You should take those welding classes, they got ‘em over in Eastgate over the summer. Be easy to pass if you know what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, I’ll do the Civic. You gotta order these parts.” He gave Hank the list.

“Je-sus Christ,” Hank said.

“Basically totaled, man.”

“Christ. I’ll call ‘em, see what they wanna do.”

Hank let Billy go a little early since he had Maxine with him; neither of them told Hank they didn’t want to go early. Max skidded in the snow. “What do you think your dad’ll be yelling about tonight?”

Billy unlocked her door for her and went around to the driver’s side. “Uh, lemme see. SUSAN,” he said loudly as he started the car up. Max started laughing. “WHY THE FUCK’S THERE NO FOOD IN THIS HOUSE, DOES ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO RUN A HOUSEHOLD WHEN I’M NOT HERE. WHERE’S MY SHITHEAD SON, WHERE’S YOUR SHITHEAD DAUGHTER. WHO OPENED THESE GODDAMN BOXES IN THE BASEMENT. Found your stupid bear, by the way.”

Max’d been smiling but her eyes got big and she stared at him. “You found George?!”

“That thing that looks haunted and has gold buttons for eyes? He’s on the dryer.”

“I thought I lost him.”

“The fuck’s his name George for?”

Max looked at him like he was a huge bozo. “Because that’s his name. Didn’t you ever have any toys?”

“No,” Billy lied.

When they got home Neil wasn’t even there; Susan said he was at the bar and Billy and Max rejoiced. The bar meant he wouldn’t be back until midnight at least. Max went and rescued George from the basement and they watched _Christmas Evil_ together on the TV. All they had to eat were a bunch of Eggos; Billy guessed Neil hadn’t let Susan go shopping. It’d probably been a real great day for her. Susan had an old Ford Explorer that didn’t run half the time; Billy’d been kind of thinking maybe he’d fix it up for her.

 

Wednesday night it snowed again and Billy's car didn't start up Thursday morning. He was pretty sure it was the goddamn ignition; half the time you had to jiggle the key for two or three minutes before it’d turn. Usually it always started up right away for Max (likely another part of the curse of Hawkins) but even she couldn’t get the key to turn that morning. Billy's old man bitched up a storm so Billy and Max started walking; they sure as hell weren't going to wait til eight for him to take them in.

Billy felt like he was on fuckin’ _Little House on the Prairie_ again, walking down Dearborn with the houses all dark. The high school wasn't that far but it was far enough. Once they hit Main Street Max pressed her face up against the windows of the general store; for about a month now she'd been going on about how she wanted some kinda Polaroid camera and annoying the shit out of him. She was saving up all her arcade quarters for it. They walked past the diner and decided to get breakfast. Mostly Billy decided; he just walked right in.

Max stared at him. She was wearing her fuzzy hat and she looked like a big goober. She really did need a better winter coat. “We're already late!” she said. “They're gonna call the house.”

“I'll take the hit for it.”

Max made a face; he probably really would take a hit for it, if not a few. She followed him in anyway. They sat down at their usual table. It was faster to go up and order at the counter but neither of them were in a hurry anymore.

Max yammered on to him as she ate her pancakes; she was detailing her fight with the Creepy Kid Club to him finally. Billy wasn’t sure why she thought he cared but he let her go on. Apparently she and Sinclair had gotten back together and held hands at the lunch table yesterday or some shit, much to Billy's eternal chagrin.

“It took me like eighty years to get El to even say three sentences to me,” Max went on. She stole Billy's orange juice. “Half the time Mike doesn't even write me into their stupid campaign, but it's okay for Dustin's dumb girlfriend who isn't even his girlfriend yet to come over and play D&D!”

“You kids got that girl into your dragon shit already?” Billy asked. Maybe there was less hope for Tracey-Rebecca that he'd initially thought.

Max scowled her trademark superscowl. “THAT'S NOT THE POINT,” she said. “And I – I – and I hate it when your dad's home. I can't even talk to Lucas or Steve for two seconds without him getting on the line and yelling at me.” She'd been blabbering away on the phone last night to someone; Billy hadn't thought it was Harrington.

“Why's Steve calling you on the phone?”

Max made her fish face at him. “That's a private matter,” she said all snooty.

“Max.”

“What?” Fish face #2. “Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him you want to have his _babies._ ”

“Max, I swear to fuckin’ god – “

“Oh my god, he was calling for you anyway, not that I could say more than two words.” The hockey game'd been on; Billy got real jazzed up about hockey and Harrington found it hilarious for some reason. Billy guessed that Steve still must think he was some kinda cartoon villain or some shit; he guessed Steve thought all he did was look at his hair in the mirror and think up insults and shit. Max was still going on. “And when Lucas called, I had to pretend he was Mike! Lucas just, he – Lucas doesn’t understand.”

“What, that my dad’s a racist prick?” It was probably the first time he’d said it out loud and it felt sacrilegious; your family was your family. Max and Billy barely had a family so they had fuckin' nobody.

“I -- I guess.” Max’s face looked weird; she wasn’t geared up towards her womanly hysteria but she looked about ready to cry and they'd barely even been talking. “It’s not even that, it’s – it’s – no one understands.”

Billy didn't want to talk about this but her fuckin' eyes were so big. “Yeah? Think I don't?”

Max looked at him; her eyes welled up in two seconds. Je-sus, Billy thought in his head like Harrington. “Will and Dustin don’t see their dads, but it’s not the same. And Lucas doesn’t understand. When I say I don’t want to go home he says don’t go home. Or when I say I can’t be late. They think, so what, he’ll scream at me.” Her little face crumpled up. “I’m _scared_ of him, Billy. He does more than scream at _you_. I don’t _want_ him to hit you, I don’t want him to hit _me._ ” She looked like a little kid; she looked so little.

“He ain’t gonna hit you.” He didn’t know. “Won’t let him hit you.”

Max wiped her face off. “I don’t know how you’re even _alive_ sometimes.”

Billy didn’t know what to say; Max had not seen half the shit. “Had my mom.”

“Did he hit her?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” He didn't want to think about his mom. “Look, quit cryin', okay? You ain't in fucking science class, you're eating pancakes. Should be happy.”

“I'm not _crying!_ ” Max yapped. She wiped her snotty nose and stole his orange juice again.

They sat for a couple minutes and ate their food. The bacon was good at Hathaway's, Billy had to give them that. He felt weird as fuck; Maxine usually didn't go off telling him all her emotional shit. Why would she, he guessed. She never had, not really. Just one time before when she'd been eleven or some shit and crying all over the couch about her old man ditching one of her track games. Tracey'd made him take Max along to a movie with them; Tracey was such a goddamn bleeding heart, so was Max. He thought about her yelling her head off in the kitchen, _I never saw you have an emotion before!_ She was also a piece of work.

The diner door jingled and Steve walked in. He saw Billy and Max when he was halfway to the counter and veered over. “Hey guys, you skipping again?” he said. He sounded actually excited to see them at 7:30 in the morning on a Thursday; he was a fucking crazy person. Then he looked at Max's face which was still kind of blotchy from her two seconds of crying. “Are you okay?”

Max gave him a look that said he was a huge bozo. “Why are _you_ here?” She was such a joy.

“Jesus. I'm heading to work, I'm just getting coffee.” Steve held his hands up.

“Sorry,” Max said. She smiled her _It's Steve Harrington!_ smile for two seconds. Billy wondered if he had a _It’s Steve Harrington!_ smile; according to Max he had some kinda face for Steve. Max told him,“Billy's car wouldn't start so we're walking. But now we’re eating. Obviously.”

“You’re walking in all this snow?” Steve looked surprised; it wasn't that bad. “What happened to your car?”

Billy was eating his food and ignoring the stupid shit-ass look that Maxine was giving him. “Think it's just the ignition.”

“Can you fix that?” Steve ran his hands through his pretty hair; Billy ignored Max’s look even more.

“Yeah, get a new one, put it in.”

“Okay, oh. Right.” Steve was rolling his eyes and smiling. “I can give you guys a lift the rest of the way if you want. Lemme get my coffee.”

He wandered off to the counter. Max made her biggest fish face at Billy.

“Max, I swear to god, if you start your stupid _shit_ – “

“I'm not doing anything!” She stole the rest of his orange juice; Billy let her since he was under duress with Harrington here and all. Steve came back with his coffee and sat down next to Billy. Max stared at him. “Wow, what are you _wearing?_ ”

Steve looked down at himself; he was wearing a red knitted sweater with a bunch of reindeer on it. He smiled at the reindeer. “What, you don't like it?” he said. “It's Christmas, Max.”

Max made a face; Steve made one back at her. Billy ate his eggs and Harrington started yammering on like he usually did; Jesus Steve could talk. Usually Billy didn’t mind on account of he got to look at Steve while he talked but it was pretty early. Max listened to Steve and Billy rehash the hockey game for a while, then Steve asked her if she was still fighting with Mike and Dustin. She made another real cute face. “What, you think I'm being dramatic too?”

“No, no, I feel you,” Steve said. Billy guessed that really he was just a junior member of the Creepy Kid Club too, since he never knew what the fuck was going on. “I am not picking sides or anything, I like everyone. I'm like, ah, Poland or some shit.”

Max and Billy stared at him. Steve looked around at them. Billy kept on eating his eggs. “You know, like – World War II? I'm neutral.”

Max gave Billy a look that said _This is the man you want to have your babies?_ “Steve!” she yapped. “Germany invaded Poland in like two seconds! Are you totally dumb?”

Billy gave her a look back that said _I don't want any fuckin' babies_. “Think you mean one of the Nordic countries, man. Or Switzerland or something.”

“Oh. Oh right.” Steve got the huge wrinkle-frown for a second; he looked real embarrassed. “Right, that's what I mean, sorry, I'm, I’m Switzerland.”

Max was rolling her eyes. Billy kept on eating his eggs. He didn't care if Steve was Poland or Switzerland; he could care less if Steve'd learned his European history. There were more important things in life, such as how one looked in a reindeer sweater (the answer in this case was ‘fucking adorable’). Max scowled. “Dustin is _so_ Germany,” she said. “He's like the fattest stupidest German.”

She made Billy laugh; he was thinking of Henderson with a little Hitler mustache. Max rolled her eyes again at Billy laughing into his toast. They finished eating and then Steve drove them the rest of the way to school like a responsible boyfriend. Okay Billy really needed to stop making jokes like that in his head.

“I can't pick you guys up, sorry, I work til five,” Steve told them. “Well, I can get you from your work if you want. I can pick you up tomorrow, I can get you in the morning, I got a half day, do you wanna do something?”

Jesus Christ he said a lot of words before eight AM; Billy was thinking this was his biggest fault, even more than chewing on his nails all the time. Billy could give him something else to put in his mouth. Jesus God he needed to stop. “Okay,” he said anyway. He and Max got out of the car and went to class to get detention for being late.

* * *

After school he and Max walked down to the car garage; Max chatted off both Hank's ear and Miles' for a while and then scampered off to make eyes at Sinclair at the arcade. Hank ordered the part for Billy's car and about a quarter of the shit for the Civic; he told Billy he'd swing by Billy’s house one day next week if he wanted and they could change his ignition out. It made Billy feel weird; he didn't have to do that. Then Harrington came by with Max and drove them home. Billy and Max ate Susan's burnt pot roast for dinner; Neil'd finally let her go shopping apparently.

Steve came and picked them up Friday morning. He was wearing another great sweater; this one was red too but darker with a big snowflake. Max and Billy ran out to his car before Billy’s old man could look out the window and start his bullshit. Steve laughed at Billy huffing and shivering with his hoodie strings tied up under his chin. “Chilly Billy,” he said and cracked his shit up; Billy lamented his life again. Steve was smiling a lot at him and that made him feel weird too. Then he fixed Max with a den dad look in the rearview mirror. “You guys really need to get winter coats,” he said.

“Yes, Ms. Graves!” Max chirruped. Billy cackled; Jesus she was really cracking him up this week.

Steve rolled his eyes. “That’s cute, come crying to me when you catch the flu.” Max and Billy laughed some more.

It was an okay day. Billy was waiting for the weekend even though his old man was home; he was always waiting for the weekend. After school he was heading out towards the parking lot once English class had ended and he sighed in his head: Little Byers was at his locker like usual getting picked on. Damn, Billy didn't know why he'd even walked this way. Now he was fated to intervene yet again because he had morals and shit. He wondered when exactly he'd started getting morals and shit; the Muppet Babies were rubbing off on him with their queer crap.

There were three of them this time: two guys and a girl all in a circle around Little Byers. You could tell right away when kids were just talking and when they were picking on each other; Billy could tell at least. He'd been on both sides of it really and you had to punch your way to the other side. Little Byers didn't look like he could punch for shit, though.

Anyway the girl was a real fuckin' porker and Billy didn't really think a slob like her needed to be picking on anyone; either way she was a girl so Billy couldn't smash her face in. He tried not to feel disappointed. He was trying not to get into fights this year and the year was almost over.

“Hey Zombie Boy, why don't you go back to your crypt?” Baby Shitbag #1 was saying as Billy got closer. Mind you Billy was real well-versed in horror movies and that shit didn't even make sense. He should be calling Byers a vampire or something. If they wanted to get real clever they could call him Martin. Hahaha, Billy said in his head and then calmed himself down.

He didn't really get the Zombie Boy thing: Max'd told him that a lot of the kids that picked on Will liked to call him a queer or a zombie, sometimes a cute combination of both. Billy was kinda wondering if the gays had taken over zombies like they'd taken over disco or some shit. Max had not looked amused when he'd asked her about this; the kid had no humor in her life. You had to laugh at bullies or punch them the fuck out.

Billy pulled his hood back up and stomped his way over to Byers; man he really wished that Miss Piggy wasn't around so he could wail on the boys. She looked like the kinda tub of lard that would get in his way and probably get him suspended until the end of time. Since he couldn't wail on them he just pushed his way right through the group. He went and leaned up against the locker next to Little Byers. He was real close to Shitbag #2 and all three instantly went quiet. Damn Billy wished he was smoking a cigarette so's he could look even more threatening.

He brushed some of his hair out of his eyes; he leaned against the locker and looked down at Byers. “You ready to go or what, Will?” Byers looked up at him with big eyes; he didn't say anything for a couple seconds. “Ain't got all day,” Billy said.

Byers closed up his locker; his eyes were about as big as teacup saucers. “You -- I -- we can go,” he said.

“Atta boy,” Billy told him. He slung an arm around the kid's shoulders and pushed him past the three shitbags.

He and Byers walked down the hallway towards the exit; Byers was clutching his little binder and notebooks to his chest like a girl. Once they got out to the door Billy removed his arm and they went outside. “I ain't really giving you a ride or anything.”

“Yeah, I know.” Byers looked up at him with his eyes all bright; he kinda looked like a little Christmas elf or some shit. “I like your sweatshirt,” he said.

“Oh yeah, kid? You like the Misfits?” Billy felt real tickled. He leaned against the railing on the steps. No one here in Hawkins liked Misfits or anything. Tracey'd bought him the hoodie for his sixteenth birthday; to Billy it'd been a real big deal 'cause Tracey'd never had any fuckin' money. “Bet you like that, ah, Night of the Living Dead song on account of you bein’ a zombie and all.”

The kid still looked like a Christmas elf. “I haven't, haven't heard that one.”

“Think it's on their first tape.”

Byers fiddled with his notebook. “Yeah. We're, we're waiting to get their compilations record. Probably for Christmas.”

Jonathan Byers was coming out of the school; he did a double take when he saw Billy standing around on the steps with his kid brother. He was wearing his usual outfit of black jeans and a black t-shirt; he looked like a gay Ramone with his stupid white sneakers. “Will, I was looking for you,” he said. “What, uh, what're you guys doing?”

“Billy likes the Misfits too!” Byers yapped all excited.

Byers #2 looked amused. Technically Will should be Byers #2, but since Billy definitely liked the kid way more than Jonathan, Will was Byers #1. “Yeah, I guess I see that,” he said. Then he just stood there like an awkward Ramone. Billy rolled his eyes and looked out at the parking lot; Steve had just pulled up in his BMW and Max'd already spawned out of the fuckin' bushes or whatever and was leaning over into his window, chattering away. Steve looked up and just stared at Billy and Byers #1 and #2 for a moment; after a minute he raised a hand and kind of waved at them. Byers #1 waved back all happy like a girl.

“Gotta go,” Billy said. “Later kid.”

“Bye Billy!” said Byers #1. “Thanks!”

Once he got to Steve's car he thumped Maxine on the head and got into the passenger side; Max made a couple of her gremlin noises and climbed into the backseat. “What, ah, were you and Jonathan talking about?” Steve asked him.

Billy made a terrible face at the crazy rudeness of Steve thinking he'd actually be talking to Jonathan Byers, the guy who'd stole Steve's girl. “Talked about a record for one minute.” Actually he’d been talking to Little Byers but really he was too insulted to make the distinction.

Steve had the frown-wrinkle for no reason that Billy could see; maybe he thought Billy was gonna go all queer and start wearing white sneakers or something. “Oh yeah, I guess – I guess you guys would like the same kinda music,” he said. Billy also made a terrible face at the crazy rudeness of liking the same music as Jonathan. It couldn't be true.

Max popped her head up between them from the backseat. “Steve, can we still go to your house?”

Steve smoothed out the frown-wrinkle and made his eyebrows look normal again. “Sure, if you guys want,” he said.

“We want to watch the _Knight Rider_ marathon and then get movies,” Max informed him like as if she and Billy had had some kinda discussion about this.

“Do we?” Billy asked her.

“And Billy wants pasta too,” Max went on.

“Do I?” Billy asked her. Max gave him her most nicey nicey smile.

“ _And_ we want to go to Christmas Village!” Billy didn’t know what that was.

Steve looked real amused by her; Billy guessed it was a good thing or a nice thing that he found Maxine amusing. She was usually with Billy nowadays which was probably why Steve usually was too. “That’s a lot of stuff for a Friday night,” Steve said. He was smiling a lot again. “Okay, we can make pasta,” he said.

 

Steve drove them to his big empty house; they ended up not renting movies because Steve's family had about a bazillion of them in the den. The den that was an actual separate room from the living room. Billy and Max looked around like they were in a museum and then went through all the tapes.

Max had a weird look on her face. “Don't you have any horror movies?”

“I don't really watch that many, that's more like your and Dustin's thing.”

Max was giving Billy the _This is the man you want to have your babies?_ look again; Billy ignored her. “Okay, we can just watch the show.”

They watched three episodes of _Knight Rider_ and Steve talked the whole time; Max kept giving him real mean looks which he blithely ignored. Billy'd been hanging out with Steve for a little over two months now so this was about what he'd expected.

Steve yapped on about his birthday which was right before Christmas. He was apparently one of those annoying people that thought their birthday was the whole month or something; he said no one'd done anything with him last year. “Do you know what I'm doing for my birthday this year?” he asked them.

Billy sighed in his head; there was a big shootout happening on the TV. Max was indulging him now though. “What are you doing this year?”

“I'm having surgery, I'll probably die.”

“ _What?_ ” said Max and Billy.

Steve laughed at them. He was getting his wisdom teeth out; it was the only date they had for him until like February. “I have like five wisdom teeth, one of them's impacted so they actually have to knock me out.”

“Aren't you only supposed to have four?” Max asked.

“I guess I'm too wise.” Max rolled her eyes all over the room. Steve said his parents weren't going to be back until the 22nd; he was probably going to walk himself home all looped up.

Max was looking like an awful gremlin. “Billy can pick you up,” she said real sweet. Billy rolled his head towards her on the couch and looked at her; Max ignored him.

Steve looked kind of weird. “Oh, no, that's okay,” he said. “I mean I wasn't saying – “

“Can get you if you want,” Billy said. Steve'd gave them rides already two days this week; surely Billy'd have his car back by the 19th.

Steve still looked weird. “Okay, if you want. It doesn't matter.”

They watched another episode of _Knight Rider_ ; Stephanie really got killed and Steve and Billy couldn't believe it (“I TOLD YOU,” Maxine said). Steve bugged the shit out of Billy making him read his application essay into Huntington. He said he'd applied last year too. Billy didn't know if that meant he hadn't got in or what; he didn't ask though. If Steve wanted to tell him he didn't get in he'd tell him. Steve said, “My dad went there, so.”

Jesus but the essay was real bad. Like it was really bad; it was bad enough to make Billy think with correct grammar inside of his head. He tried hard not to make a face while he was reading it.

He didn't get it; Steve wasn't actually stupid. If he was stupid Billy wouldn't be able to talk to him for more than a minute. He got jokes and shit and he made good jokes; shit he was helping Billy get the first B in math he'd ever gotten in his life. He had a way of looking at things that wasn't like Billy's which was a good thing. He didn't see how Steve couldn't string two sentences together while he was writing them; did he know what a paragraph was? The layout and everything was just real bad and he didn't know what he fuckin' wanted to say.

“Okay, this is a real, real … _real_ rough draft, right?”

“Screw you!” Steve said even though Billy hadn't been joking. Or maybe because he hadn't been joking. “It's due in like two weeks.”

“Ohhhh okay,” was all Billy said. He guessed that yeah, Steve was not getting into Huntington. “Right, right. It's not that bad,” he lied. He was still trying not to make a face.

Steve snatched his essay away. “Come on, I'm still lookin' at it!” Billy said.

“It doesn't matter, forget it,” Steve said. “I don't even know if I really wanna go there anyway.” He yapped on some more until Maxine finally shushed him, then when the episode of _Knight Rider_ finished Harrington actually made them pasta.

Max and Billy sat in Steve's huge kitchen and Max pounded her fork on the table like a baby; Billy was trying not to be amused by her. Probably he should feel weird being with Max and Steve now but he still felt okay. The thing was that Steve made him feel okay; he guessed Max made him feel okay too when she wasn't annoying the shit out of him. Max squawked that Steve overcooked the pasta but Billy ate a lot; he didn't have a lunch period at school this year. Anyway pasta was always good, even better if Steve Harrington made it for you while wearing a holiday sweater, Billy figured.

“Steve, can I look through your kitchen?” Max demanded; she was a weirdo and liked to do shit like that.

Steve had his 'Max is amusing' face on again. “Sure, whatever,” he said.

Max hopped up and starting going through all the cabinets and shit; she spent a long time cataloging what Steve had in his fridge. “I _love_ this countertop,” she said like a forty-year-old mom. She looked like she was plotting to move in. Steve watched Billy eat his pasta; he was kinda making Billy feel weird as shit looking at him.

“I got something on my face?”

“Oh. No, sorry,” Steve said.

“Can we eat these cookies?” Max asked from where she was deep inside the huge pantry.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve sat and watched Max and Billy eat all his food. Billy guessed they were both his charity cases now; it wasn't too bad. Steve and Max talked to each other about the grocery store and the general store like they were two moms; apparently Steve did most of the shopping at his house because his parents were never around now.

Max was eating from three different packages of cookies. “You make a good grocery list, that's a good quality in a man,” she said. Billy lamented his life for the fourth or fifth time just since getting to Steve's house.

Steve was leaning back in his chair at the kitchen table and he looked real amused by her instead of weirded out. “Okay, Max, tell that to my long, long list of dating options,” he said. Max cackled like a gremlin and ate her Oreos.

Then it was time for Christmas Village; Max jammed her fuzzy hat on her head and bounded out to Steve's car. “I can't wait to see Billy's face as he becomes overwhelmed by the spirit of holiday cheer or whatever,” Steve said. He was such an asshole.

“I don't know about all that,” Max said. “It's just Wrigley Field.”

“Did you go last year? The lights are amazing.” Max and Billy exchanged a look. Steve was such a small-town boy.

The big baseball field out by the woods was transformed into some kind of Santa's village; it looked straight out of a cartoon or something, all bright against the dark trees. Billy guessed it was cute and all. There was just enough snow left on the ground to make it look nice. White lights were strewn up everywhere like stars and there was a big tree in the center of the field. They had little tents and stores set up; there was some asshole playing a lute or some shit and Max gave him one of her quarters.

Henderson and Sinclair came up and found them in about two seconds; it was the curse of Hawkins once again. Dustin started yapping away and waving his arms around like usual. Max gave him a look that said he was still Germany but then she started talking and laughing too. Even if she was pissed off to holy hell at you Max could never shut her mouth for more than two minutes.

Max turned back towards Steve and Billy. She was holding Sinclair's hand and was dragging him around like a good dog like usual. “I have to go and get my last present I need to buy,” she announced to them. Then she glared at Billy. “DON'T FOLLOW ME,” she said in slight womanly hysteria (level four). Billy figured she was off to kiss Sinclair under some mistletoe; he mentally despaired at the image.

Maxine dragged Henderson and Sinclair off into one of the tents. Billy let Steve lead him around for a while. Steve started walking backwards in front of him; he was laughing and talking and not crashing into anything somehow. He was the cutest guy in Hawkins. “So?” he said. “Whatdaya think?” He made a stupid motion with his hands; he was gesturing at all the lights. They were at the end of the field and Steve leaned against a streetlamp and looked at him.

Billy was mostly looking at Harrington under the lights. He didn’t care about the little shops. Jesus Steve had a lot of freckles and beauty marks; Billy bet he could map out a ton of constellations on him. The lights were real pretty and all but Steve was _really_ pretty. Billy didn't know why he kept thinking of him as pretty. He wasn't a girl or something.

Steve laughed at him not saying anything. “That good, huh? Did your heart grow three sizes? Is it stuck in your throat?”

“Fuck you, I'm not the Grinch.” It was funny because he'd thought that too on account of the creepy kids making his heart grow and grow or whatever. It wasn't the Christmas lights.

“You've got the same eyebrows.” Steve laughed his ass off at his witty remark.

“Fuck you,” Billy said again without much conviction. He guessed he was feeling the Christmas magic. “You gonna buy me a hot chocolate or something?”

Steve was still laughing his ass off. “Ask me real nice,” he said. Billy leaned against the streetlight too and asked him real nice; Steve looked weirded out. Maybe Billy was gonna have to stop doing that. “Jesus, you make me feel like Mrs. Wheeler,” he said. “Okay, do you want whipped cream?”

“What do you think I want, Steve?” Billy asked. He was still leaning.

“Oh my god, bye,” said Steve. Billy laughed. Steve went off to get the hot chocolate; he came back with Max and Sinclair in tow. Max was scowling up a storm.

“They didn't have what I wanted!” she yapped.

“I can't believe you didn't get it yet,” Steve said. He was giving Billy his hot chocolate.

“What's she want?”

Max glared at him. “None of your business!” she said. “Steve, can we go to the mall tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we can go to the mall,” Steve said.

Billy guessed they were going to the mall. Max leaned over and took his hot chocolate right out of his hand. “Dustin says ‘Blister in the Sun’ is about a guy and he asked Mr. Clarke and Mr. Clarke made a face and said it’s probably about a guy.”

“The fuck,” said Billy.

“AND Will asked Jonathan and Jonathan said it could be about a guy if you want it to be! So it’s about a guy! That’s officially all the people we know unless we try to ask Mom again,” Max yapped. “Everyone knows it’s about a guy, you owe me three jawbreakers!” She thought about it. “And I want a Madonna tape, okay?”

Steve and Sinclair were laughing at him. Billy hated Christmas.

 

The week went on. Steve took them to the mall out in Eastgate on Saturday; it was pretty fancy and had a roller skating rink and a big fountain with an elephant statue in it. Max acted cryptic as shit like a CIA agent slinking through the stores. She situated Steve and Billy in the food court and glared at them. “Don’t follow me!” she squawked.

“I don’t care what you’re buying,” Billy told her. Max glowered at him anyway and then sidled off like a CIA agent. Steve was probably giving her lessons.

Steve was eating like six slices of pizza at once. He also kept drinking Billy’s soda for some reason; he had his own. “Think she’s getting you a present.”

“No, we don’t do that,” Billy said. They never had. Maybe a present for her mom or something she didn’t want him to see.

“I don’t know,” Steve said. He kept eating his six slices of pizza.

They wandered around the stores for a while; in the little bookstore Billy bought _The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe_ for Elijane as Steve made fun of him. Billy picked up a _Babysitter’s Club_ book and shoved it in his face. “Here’s your autobiography, Kristy,” he said. He was so goddamn glad Max was too old for this series. Actually he guessed he would really have to buy her a present now if he’d got one for El-or-Jane; Jesus he’d never hear the end of it. He wasn’t sure what to get her though. “Okay,” he told Steve, “go the fuck away for a while so I can buy your birthday present.”

“Are you serious?” Steve was smiling (also still drinking Billy’s soda; he was holding it though). “Are you going to buy me a book?”

“You can read?” Billy pretended to be shocked out of his goddamn mind. Steve laughed again.

“Screw you.”

“Go and sit at the food court, go wait for me and eat some more goddamn food,” Billy told him. “I’ll be like twenty minutes, you ain’t gonna get lost, are you?”

Steve was already wandering away and drinking Billy’s soda. He was the cutest guy in Eastgate too. “I won’t get lost, Mom,” he said like he wasn’t Mr. Mom and a den dad all put together in one hot guy body. Billy had a real problem.

He bought the book for Elijane and then wandered around for a couple minutes. He got distracted looking at records like usual; he hadn’t brought too much money though. He bought Steve some records (they had a deal where you got the fifth one free; he picked up the first Misfits album for Byers #1) and a silver lighter since he’d apparently lost his last year fighting monsters; Billy didn’t know why he hadn’t gotten another good one yet. Now he wouldn’t need to bum a light off of Billy every ten minutes and stand all close to him and shit.

Back at the food court Steve and Max were eating even more goddamn pizza and talking up a storm. “Did you get your thing?” Billy asked Max.

“ _Maybe,_ ” Max said like a CIA agent. “That’s classified. Can we go look at the elephant fountain again?”

Monday and Tuesday Steve drove them to school; Max came to Billy’s work at seven and Steve picked them up again and they continued their new tradition of eating all the food at Steve’s house. Steve made them watch two Christmas specials on Tuesday. “This one is my favorite, the little guy just wants to be a dentist.”

Wednesday morning Billy woke up having some kinda dream; he was looking for his mom except it wasn’t really his mom. Felt like his mom in the dream. He woke up feeling cold and not knowing where he was. Jesus but he felt bad; a dream hadn’t made him feel bad like that in a long time.

Over breakfast he made a crack about Susan burning the eggs; Neil gave him a real mean look even though Susan wasn’t bothered. She knew she always burned the eggs. Billy’s dad followed him back to his room and threw him around; Billy wasn’t expecting it and he flew right into the window. Billy’s old man grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt and threw him again. Billy landed on his dresser and knocked his record player over; he cracked his head on the wall. Neil went on about respect as Billy waited for his head to stop spinning. He looked at his mom’s record player; it was in about six pieces on the floor now.

“Shit,” he said. He waited for his dad to kick the shit out of him for swearing but just left for work. Apparently there wasn’t enough time in the world to properly discipline Billy on a Wednesday morning.

Max popped her head into the room to check on him; her eyes welled up again in about two seconds. Jesus she was a real bleeding heart for him lately.

“Okay, okay, don’t cry about it,” Billy told her. He picked himself up off the ground. Crying always made it worse; Billy hadn’t cried in front of his old man since he was like ten or eleven. Even though he’d already left for work Billy kinda felt like his dad would be able to sense Max’s tears and come roaring back to go apeshit on them some more. Anyway she didn’t need to be crying over him.

He got Max situated back at the table with her burnt eggs; she and Susan blubbered at each other while Billy went into the bathroom and wiped at his eyebrow until it stopped bleeding. He wished they wouldn’t do that; if they just ignored him everything’d be fine for them, probably. He was trying not to think about his mom’s record player on the floor in pieces. He still kinda felt like he was flying into the window. Jesus he felt about three years old sometimes.

Steve stared at them as they came out to his car; honestly Billy wished he’d just let them walk. “Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to you?”

Max went off in her womanly hysteria. “BILLY’S DAD BROKE HIS RECORD PLAYER!” she yelled her head off in the backseat.

“What, are you serious?” Steve said. “Are you joking?”

“Yeah, it’s hilarious,” Billy said. Max yelled her head off, “HIS MOM’S RECORD PLAYER!”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, man,” Steve said. Then he grabbed Billy’s face and turned it towards him like a den dad and Mr. Mom to look at the cut; Billy was too startled to even do anything. “How’d you do this, you get punched again?”

“Hit the windowsill.”

Steve was way too close to his face. “You could have popped your fuckin’ eyeball out or something,” he said.

“CAN THAT HAPPEN?” Max asked from the backseat in her womanly hysteria.

Billy really wished Steve would stop touching him; he really needed Steve to stop touching him. Sometimes he got too fucking weird and people couldn’t touch him.

It hadn’t happened in a while. When he was little it had used to happen after his old man beat on him but sometimes it would just happen. It was one of the things that was wrong with him. It didn’t have to be anything; he’d just be sitting at home or in class and he’d get the shakey feeling and he wouldn’t be able to breathe. It felt like the floor was going to swallow him up and everything seemed too big and too small. Once or twice it’d even happened when he’d been kissing Tracey and he’d had to shove her off him. It was the worst thing because Tracey was supposed to be safe; she was his safe spot. He remembered saying, _There’s something wrong with me._ Tracey’d put her arms back around him anyway and that was okay. _Billy, there’s nothing wrong with you._

Right now it felt like the floor of Steve’s car was getting ready to swallow him up. He slapped Steve’s hand away from his face, harder than he’d meant to. “Fuckoffme.”

“Sorry.” Steve looked all shocked and shit; Billy guessed he hadn’t slapped Steve off him in a while. Not that Steve was on him or whatever. “Are you okay?”

“M’fine.”

Steve started driving them to school; Billy looked out the window until he felt sort of okay again. After a while Steve asked, “So can you fix the record player?”

“It’s in like six pieces, Steve,” Max yapped from the backseat.

“It doesn’t matter,” Billy said. It was the second thing of his mom’s he’d fucked up in less than two months.

“God, that really sucks,” Steve said. “I’m sorry. Man, I bought you like four records for Christmas, too,” he said. “I bought you that Violent Femmes record.”

Billy laughed even though he didn’t feel like laughing. “Fuck off, I bought that one for you too.”

Max stuck her head up between them; she looked like she was watching _Love Story_ again. “That’s really cute, I guess you’ll have to listen to them in Steve’s room now,” she said like a gremlin.

“I guess so,” Steve said.

* * *

It was the next week now and Billy was real jazzed up. It was Thursday night and he and Max were going to the movies. Normally Billy wouldn't get so excited over the movies and especially with Max but the whole Creepy Kid Club was going and so was El-or-Jane; it was going to be her first actual movie in her first actual theater.

“Of course you can come!” Wheeler Jr had yelped last night in the diner when Max'd started yelling her head off. Then he'd turned his head and glowered at Billy; he looked about like Billy'd killed and skinned his dog (not that Wheeler Jr was even cool enough to have a dog). He made an awful face. “El said ...she wants you to come too,” he'd said like he was being tortured.

HAHAHA, Billy'd said in his head in a great joy. “HAHAHA,” he said now out loud. It was six o'clock and they was getting ready to go. Susan was off at work so they didn't have a horrible dinner to eat. Maxine was sitting on his bed watching him get ready; Billy wasn't sure when she'd started thinking she was allowed in his room and shit.

Max made a face; Billy could see it in his mirror. “Are you talking to one of your personalities?” she asked him.

“Get outta my room,” Billy told her. He was fucking with his hair in the mirror; he needed to look real sharp. He was wearing a new black shirt and his only pair of jeans that didn't have holes in them. The shirt had snap buttons on it so he could pop them off at will – not like he'd need to pop them at Elijane but maybe he'd pop them at Steve or something. He cackled again in his head. “ _Standing on the corner, suitcase in my hand,_ ” he sang into his mirror. He arranged one curl on his forehead and sprayed his hairspray; he was going for sensitive and soulful tonight.

Max looked at him in abject disgust; she was amusing the shit out of him. “You take soooo much longer than me to get ready.”

“Yeah, I also look soooo much better than you, don't I?”

Max made one of her gremlin faces in the mirror. She flopped over onto his mattress. “I don't even know who you're trying to look good for anymore!” she yapped. “ Is it El or Steve?”

Billy wasn't sure either. “Maxine, you know what I do in that bed, you really wanna be laying all over it?”

“ _OH MY GOD, EW BILLY!_ ” screamed Max. She sat up and jumped off the bed with lightening speed. “I hate you _soooo_ much!”

“HAHAHA!” Billy said into his mirror. She was safe anyway; he'd just washed his sheets two nights ago.

“I HATE YOU!” Max squealed again. Billy fluttered his eyes at her scowling reflection. What a little shithead. She wouldn't hate him next week at Christmas when he showed her her stupid Polaroid camera that he'd got her! He'd been feeling real charitable towards her lately; he'd gone out and got it earlier in the week when she'd been at the arcade with Sinclair. The next night they'd gone to the Byers' house and Billy'd gotten Joyce to wrap it all fancy for him. He'd sneaked it in and sneaked into the kitchen while Max and Will and Wheeler Jr were watching _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer_ on the little TV.

Mrs. Byers was hot as shit; she dressed kinda dumpy but she had real pretty eyes and hair. Billy had tried to lay the charm on her, but she'd just put her hand on his arm and told him what a sweetheart he was, totally killing any moves that he'd been getting ready to roll out. “Why don't you just sit down, do you want something to drink?” Mrs. Byers had asked him like a mom.

Billy'd sat at the table like a little kid. “Yes ma'am,” he'd said. Maxine would laugh her ass off at him. Joyce wrapped the camera up for him real nice and yapped on to him about how nice it was to have a sibling you were close to; Billy thought he'd managed not to make a face. “I guess Max has got a photographer's eye just like Jonathan!” she'd said too. Billy'd also managed not to make a face at the crazy rudeness of Maxine being anything like Byers #2.

Billy finally finished fucking around in front of his mirror; he guessed he looked about as good as he was going to get. His hair was getting real long again. He'd hit the windowstill harder than he'd thought last Wednesday: about half his face had been blue and gray for the whole fuckin' week. Now it was down to a nice greenish color and he kinda felt like Frankenstein. He had a huge bruise on his elbow too, one going down the small of his back; they hurt worse than his face.

He was okay though like always. He was used to lookin' like this. He was going to the movies tonight and tomorrow he was getting to pick Steve up from the dentist. Maybe he'd be real looped up and say that Billy looked like a painting again or something; Billy was looking forward to it.

Hank had came over last week – Billy thought it'd been on Thursday – and helped Billy change his ignition out with the part that'd finally came in. Billy's old man had been there and he'd shaken Hank's hand all nicey nicey. They'd talked for a couple minutes and then Hank had lumbered into the garage with Billy to check out the Camaro.

“Piece of shit,” Hank had huffed. “'Scuse me, Bill, sorry to say it. I know all about your old man. I can tell everything from lookin' at a person, you know.” Billy hoped that wasn't true: he didn't need Hank looking at him and knowing everything.

Even so it was okay if Hank thought Billy's old man was for shit. Most people thought that his dad was the best; Neil was real good at putting on a show. It was nice that maybe one person could see that he was an asshole without having to live with him for two years straight. Billy wasn't ten anymore and it wasn't like Hank was gonna call child services or anything. He figured he could move out soon anyway; he was almost finished owing his father money. He'd figure out what to do about Max. Maybe she could hang out at his place after school or some shit. If he even stayed in Hawkins that was.

Anyway Billy was real jazzed up. He didn't need to figure out what to do about Maxine yet; he put his hands on her shoulders and hustled her out of his room. She was still squawking and yelling about his bed and what a gross person he was. “Is your pillow even safe, Billy?” she caterwauled as Billy leaned against the wall and put his combat boots on. “Is it?”

“Sometimes, usually I got real good aim.”

“ _OH MY GOD,_ ” Max wailed like she was dying.

“Get a UV light and check out the walls, got like fifty crime scenes in there.” They'd both been watching _Dateline_ last night.

“ _I HATE YOU!_ ”

Billy cackled. “Put your fuckin' shoes on, you're makin' us late.”

Billy's old man was home watching TV on the couch and he looked up to glare at him. “Watch your goddamn language in this house,” he warned him.

Billy laughed at him. The thing was that he knew he wasn't a perfect angel that just got beat on for nothing. He knew he pissed his old man the fuck off; he knew he was a piece of shit. Sometimes he just didn't care about it. Tonight he didn't care about it. He'd already got punched around and got his mom's record player broken this month; he had shit else. Honestly he felt really down about the record player; most of this week though he'd been around with Steve and Maxine so much that he hadn't had time to feel down about it.

He leaned against the wall some more; he was still laughing at his dad. “Maxine, do you think I need to watch my goddamn language in this goddamn house?”

Max was giving him a look that said what he needed to do was shut the fuck up. “I thought we were going to be late.”

“Okay okay.” Billy popped a couple of his shirt buttons at her; Max made a face like he was killing her. Billy cackled again in his head. “Dad, I'm taking Max and her friends out to a movie, we allowed to leave the house or you gonna come looking for us?”

Neil fixed him with a real hard look. It was similar to the steel-blade gaze but not quite the same; Billy hadn't seen this one before. Billy just looked back at him. Neil's eyes slid over to Max. “Curfew's ten-thirty,” he said gruffly to her.

“Yes sir,” Max said like a ghost.

Billy dragged her out of the house and into the car. They'd both done pretty good staying out of Neil's way since last week. He was going out on the road again soon until Christmas; she didn't need to look like that. 'Your Haunted Head' by Concrete Blonde came on the radio and Max turned it up as they roared down the street. Billy knew she'd like that one.

“YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY, CLEARFIELD'S FASTER!” Max yapped her head off.

“Told you I gotta stop by work.”

Maxine huffed like he was killing her once again; she walked down the block with him to the car garage. It was after hours but Hank was still there. Billy'd said he'd help him bring in some of the parts for the Civic that had came in; Hank had a bad back.

Billy helped Hank bring in the two doors that were leaned up out in front of the shop; they were going to try and fix the hood and front bumper themselves. Hank huffed and puffed like a dying fish. “Hey, you look real nice, Bill,” he said. “You got a date or something?”

Behind him Max cackled like a witch; Billy was ignoring her. “Just going to the movies,” he said. Hank chattered on to Max for about eight minutes as Billy lugged in the rest of the stuff, then they headed off down the street. It was cold but not too cold; their breath made steam in the air but there wasn't any wind.

“I can't wait to see Steve!” Max said as they walked up the main drag. She'd been all distressed when Billy'd gotten his car back and they couldn't hang out at Steve's until ten at night anymore; Billy kinda missed it too. Probably they could just go over there anyway but they hadn't gone over. “What stupid sweater do you think he'll be wearing?”

Billy was particular to the reindeer one honestly. “Hasn't seen us in like two, three days, maybe he went out and bought a new one.” Max laughed her head off. They stopped into the general store so that Billy could buy her her stupid jawbreakers; she spent a lot of time killing him and picking out her Madonna tape.

At the cash register Max sighed her dramatic head off looking at the camera displays. The good Polaroids here were about eighty bucks, a little more than he'd paid out at the mall. Even looking at them now he couldn't believe he'd spent so much money on Maxine. He must've briefly gone crazy or some shit. He definitely wasn't getting new seats for his car anytime soon.

Max pressed her nose against the camera display like a freakshow. “Do you know what my mom's getting me for Christmas?” she asked Billy.

“Uh, I know she ain't spending no eighty dollars on you,” Billy said. Susan was actually getting Max a new jacket; Billy'd told her the one Max wanted at the mall. “Thought you were saving up your quarters and shit, aren't you like halfway there?” He wanted to make sure she wasn't gonna buy it somehow.

Max stuck her nose up in the air like a snooty poodle. “I had to buy something else.”

HAHAHA, Billy said in his head. “Okay. Whatcha get?”

“Nothing for _you!_ ” Max yapped. She grabbed his change off the counter and grabbed his arm too. “Can we go? You're making us late!”

“Am I?” Billy asked her. He let her drag him down the street. The rest of the brat pack was already there at the theater; as usual Steve was pulling up in his BMW right when Billy got on the scene.

They said hey to the pack of creepy kids and to Steve; Steve really was wearing a new sweater and Max cackled and hit Billy's side. “Steve, we missed being at your house!” she said.

Steve had the look on his face that said Max was amusing him. “Yeah, I missed you guys too,” he said. “You coulda still came and hung out with me.”

“Thought we had some kinda big date tomorrow anyway,” Billy told him.

Henderson was yapping his way over to them with his baseball cap. “Oh yeah, aren't you getting all your wisdom taken out tomorrow?” he lisped. “Have fun with him, he is a real baby about pain. Steve, remember when you jammed your thumb at the arcade?”

“Yeah, thank you Dustin,” Steve said, real annoyed. Billy was laughing.

The rest of the creepy kids floated over; Max and Sinclair started yapping their _Love Story_ shit to each other. Like usual Wheeler Jr had a sour look on his face and was dressed like a huge douchebag. Elijane and Little Byers wandered over in front of Billy; El was wearing a puffy pink dress and Will had his hair slicked back like James Dean. Billy got such a kick out of them. “Hey kid, you look real sharp,” he said to Little Byers.

Byers sparkled at him like a rainbow. “Thanks!”

Elijane was looking up at Billy in her serious way; goddamn she looked too cute in her pink dress and baggy jean jacket. “What happened to your face?” she asked him.

“Ah, this? People love to fight me in this town.”

“It looks a lot better now,” Byers told her.

Elijane considered him and narrowed her eyes. “Still pretty,” she decided finally.

Truly Billy felt touched. “Thanks kid,” he said. Wheeler Jr made a terrible face.

“El, you don't really call guys pretty,” he said. Elijane gave him a look that said he was a huge bozo; she was the best ever.

Billy slung an arm around Steve's shoulder. He guessed it was okay to do that; normal people did that. “Ah, Harrington's the only real pretty boy we got around here,” he said.

Steve let Billy shake him around. “You haven't called me that in like three months, I was beginning to think you lost your feelings for me.”

Billy was still trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make him sound like a huge queer when Henderson let out one of his gross Wookie noises. “So what are we even seeing, guys?” he asked. “I could be at the library right now with Rebecca, I really hope we're not going to see _Howard the Duck._ ”

Five out of six creepy kids groaned, also Steve. “Oh my _god,_ shut the hell up about Rebecca for two seconds,” Mike moaned.

Henderson looked like a Wookie in love. “Mike, I'm sorry that I'm experienced and dating an older woman now, I'm still the same guy you've known since the fourth grade.”

Wheeler Jr made another one of his awful faces. “What are you even _talking_ about?”

“Man, you haven't even kissed yet _,_ ” said Sinclair.

“Think how annoying he'll be if they do!”

Dustin ignored them. “You mean _when_ we do? I can't decide if I want to have Steve drive us to the Christmas dance like a rich guy, or if Billy should take me like a bad-ass.”

“No no no, I ain't driving you anywhere for shit,” Billy told him. The stupid Snowflake dance at the high school was next week and he was pretty sure he was already getting stuck driving Maxine: the horror of both Max and Henderson in his car in formalwear was too much to handle right now.

“Wait, so I'm not cool anymore?” Steve asked Henderson. “When did that happen?” He looked super hip in his Christmas tree sweater.

“Steve, sorry, you haven't done anything cool in like a year,” Dustin yapped. “You're still my friend and all, and I appreciate the dating tips that didn't work, but – ”

“Okay, okay, okay.”

Max was giving Billy a big look; Billy realized he still had his arm around Steve and removed it. “So what're we seeing?”

The creepy kids poured over the ticket window; there wasn't too much playing on account of it being Thursday night. _Aliens_ was playing and _The Fly,_ some animated movie with a mouse with a cowboy hat that Billy knew Max was losing her goddamn girl mind over. There were a couple older movies playing, the dollar features that Hawkins rolled out year-round.

Sinclair and Wheeler Jr and Henderson were losing their shit over _The Fly_ ; it was the last week it was playing apparently. “Do you really think you deserve an R-rated movie right now?” Steve asked Henderson like a den dad.

Henderson looked like a sulky Wookie. Elijane was gazing at the _The Fly_ poster with a skeptical look on her face; Billy was sure she'd seen movies and shit on the TV before and all but he kind of felt like a den dad too. He leaned against the ticket window.

“Looks like we're seeing _Grease,_ ” he announced.

Four out of six creepy kids moaned their heads off. Max said, “Oh my god, Billy, don't do this to me!”

“Are you kidding? Why is that even playing?” yapped Sinclair. Because it was the best! Billy leaned over the creepy kids and shouted at the ticket girl; she looked a little overwhelmed with all the creepy kids going off too. The brat pack lapsed into sulky silence as their tickets got printed out; El-or-Jane and Byers looked pretty okay with it.

“What is _Grease?_ ” Elijane asked. She was holding her little ticket like it was a real important thing.

“Oh, you're about to find out,” Steve said; he sounded like he was laughing. They went inside the theater and Max ran off with Billy's stolen change to buy snacks; he hoped she would have the decency to buy him a goddamn soda.

Billy and Steve leaned against the wall of theater #1 and watched the kids buy their popcorn. Steve was real close to him. Billy was trying not to want him; they were about to see a family film. “So, _Grease,_ huh?” Steve asked him. “You a big secret musical fan?”

“No, asshole,” Billy said. Then he said without meaning to, “Probably saw this shit in the theater with my mom like six times.” He didn't know why he said it.

“Really? Are you serious?”

“If you fucking say shit – “

Steve was laughing at him which was great. “Chill out, everyone's seen _Grease_ like six times with their mom,” he said. “Not me, of course, my mother goes not go to the Hawkins theater. That's cute, Bills.”

“Whatever,” Billy said. He watched the kids getting their snacks; Elijane was still holding onto her ticket like she was in _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_. Little kid had never seen a movie in her life and Billy felt like it should be a cute one. Not the one with the mouse and the cowboy hat though. Steve was staring at him so he nodded over towards El. “Kid grew up in some lab surrounded by scientists, you think she should be seein' Doctor Jeff Goldblum on the big screen turning into a fuckin' monster?”

Steve looked blank. “I did not think of that,” he said. “I woulda thought of that like forty minutes into the movie after the first death scene.”

“Surprised Wheeler Jr didn't think of it.”

“Wheeler Jr?” Steve was laughing at him again.

“He's a junior something.” Junior asshole, junior shitbag.

“Do you have nicknames for all of them?”

“Not really.” Sinclair was Midnight, probably he shouldn't really say that one out loud anymore or to Steve. “Uh, okay, Max is Mad Max, as ya know.”

“Yeah, Lucas and Dustin always call her that.”

“Fuck Lucas and Dustin, I been calling her that since she was ten.”

“Really?” Steve looked surprised.

“Who the fuck you think she watched _Mad Max_ with?”

“Oh. Huh.”

Billy considered the kids. “Okay, Henderson's a total Wookie. Usually Sinclair pains me too much to think about him for more'n two seconds. Will is, uh, I dunno, Billy the Kid or somethin'.”

Steve laughed. “That's really cute,” he said. “By the way, you are really fucking weird.”

Billy didn't mind being really fucking weird. He thought about Maxine yapping, _If you guys got together, I'd have like two brothers!_ and thought Steve didn't know the half of it.

The kids came over to them squawking and groaning; Billy noticed none of them were turning down a free movie, though, even if it was a musical about ten years old. Max gave him a soda and a box of Skittles as she walked by. Billy actually felt touched for a moment and then he remembered she'd hawked his fuckin' money anyway. Jesus he was turning into a bleeding heart too.

The brat pack wanted to sit in the back row because they were for shit; not too many other people were in the theater though so it was all right. The kids took up a whole row and Billy and Steve sat behind them like a couple of gay dads watching their ducklings. The goonies yapped on through the previews and stole each other's candy. Henderson spilled half his soda and yelled his damn head off for about a minute. A preview for some movie called _The Lost Boys_ played and Max yelped and creamed her pants; she was apeshit for one of those Corey guys, maybe both. They both looked like fuckin' frogs to Billy; there were too many blondes in Hollywood.

Finally the movie started playing. For all their complaining, by the time the credits were finishing rolling all the kids were into it. Max had her head on Sinclair's shoulder which made Billy want to blow chunks. He ate a lot of Skittles to console himself. Steve leaned in all close to him; as usual he didn't need to get so close. He'd been saying stupid shit for about the whole movie so far and Billy'd expected no less. “Are you going to lose your shit and jump up to do the dance during _Greased Lightning_?” he asked him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy said for the ninth time. Also, “Don't tempt me, okay.” Steve laughed his ass off.

It was a real good time because _Grease_ was always a good time; Henderson started singing along to a couple of songs and everyone yelled at him to shut the fuck up. Billy bet Steve could get his hair to look just like John Travolta's. “I really love the ending, all the leather really does something to me.” Steve was still talking his head off. Maxine turned around to fix Billy with a significant look for some reason; Billy ate the last of his Skittles.

They left the theater once the movie ended and hung out on the empty sidewalk, deciding what to do. It was still pretty early and he and Max had time so they decided to get food. Billy felt real wired up. He'd got to see _Grease_ and Elijane and Steve; Maxine was continuing her strange trend of not annoying the shit out of him.

Max latched onto the sleeve of Billy's leather jacket and was dragging him along because she said he was being too slow. “Did you like the movie, El?” she asked.

“We can see a better one next time,” Wheeler Jr consoled her. Billy made a terrible face at his back.

“That's okay, I liked _Grease,_ ” Elijane said placidly. She'd make a real cute Sandy, Billy thought. Then he thought of Wheeler Jr being Danny and almost blew chunks again. “Wish people would sing like that in real life.”

“Oh, they can, kid, you just gotta smoke with the right people.”

Elijane was giving him a weird little look. “Smoke what?”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said. “Nothing, El, ignore him, he's a terrible person.” Somehow yet again he was drinking Billy's soda. Maxine was laughing and pulling his sleeve (Billy started walking even slower on purpose) and Wheeler Jr wasn't complaining his head off for once, just walking next to El.

Billy felt okay and all. Steve was right next to him. He walked even slower; Max skidded in the snow like a dramatic bitch trying to pull him along. They walked on down the street to the diner.

* * *

Friday afternoon Billy put Tommy Hall's little brother in a trash can for Byers, then he drove Will and Max down to the arcade. “You gotta be home for seven at dinner, don't eat all your fuckin' jawbreakers,” Billy told Max as she climbed out of the car.

“I know, I know!” Max yapped. “Have fun with Steve! Tell me the deets!”

Billy ignored her; Max grabbed Byers #1 by his jacket and dragged him off into the arcade. Billy parked his car and walked down the street to the dental office. Steve was still in the back getting his surgery; Billy leaned on the counter and flirted with the receptionist for a long time until more patients came in. Billy sat down and read three _Highlights_ magazines. Goofus and Gallant cracked his shit up.

Steve came out around four-thirty; he looked all fucked up and his face was puffy. He went and talked to the receptionist for a couple minutes before even noticed Billy. “Oh my god, you actually came to get me.”

“Just said I would yesterday.”

“I thought you'd forget me.” Steve stood looking fucked up and looked down at Billy and the _Highlights_ magazine. He sounded kinda muffled; his hair still looked good though. “Did you color that picture of Elmo?”

“No,” lied Billy. “The fuck. Why does your face look like Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

“I got so much cotton in my mouth,” Steve said. “My drugs are gonna wear off in like two hours, can we go?”

“Yeah, we can go.” Billy stood up and Steve just stood there looking at him. Billy sighed and put his hand on Steve's shoulder; he marched him out of the office like he was Maxine taking forever to get ready.

“WHY IS IT SO BRIGHT OUT,” Steve said. He didn't even have his gay-ass sunglasses today. He leaned against the wall of the dental office and put his head on Billy's shoulder. “They took so many of my teeth, Bills,” he said sadly. “Do I even have any left?”

Jesus it was so great and it'd been like five minutes. “Yeah, man, I think you still got some teeth left,” Billy told him.

“My face hurts.” Steve kept his head on Billy's shoulder.

“Are you supposed to be talkin'?”

“I don't know. Probably not. I think I will sleep here.” He leaned on Billy's shoulder even more.

“No no no,” Billy said. He hadn't expected Steve to be so fucked up; it was hilarious but he felt a little bad for him and all. A group of old ladies walking by gave them a bunch of weird looks. “You can sleep on me at your house, my car is right over here.” He led Steve to his car; Steve collapsed in the passenger seat and laid his head against the windowpane. He moaned loudly as Billy started the Camaro up; Billy was trying to ignore him.

“MY FUCKING FACE HURTS,” Steve said.

“I know, man.” Billy hadn't ever gotten any teeth pulled but he guessed he'd been punched in the face enough to imagine how it would hurt real bad.

Steve leaned on the windowpane real sad. “It's my birthday,” he said all mournful.

“I know, man.”

“I can't even eat anything for a week. I don't have any teeth.”

“You still have teeth, okay.”

“Uhhhhhhh,” Steve moaned. Billy turned the radio up on him; it was some new band called the Throwing Muses on 102.5. “What the FUCK is this SHIT.”

“I don't know, man.”

It only took a few minutes to get to Steve's house; once Billy parked Steve just kept sitting with his head against the windowpane until Billy sighed and dragged him out of the car. He dragged Steve up his steps and to the front door. “You got your key?”

“It's in my pocket,” Steve told him.

Billy stared at him. And stared at him. Steve stared back at him. “Harrington, I ain't going in your pockets, you are going to have to try harder than that.”

“Oh. Right. Okay. No you're right.” Steve dug around in his jeans for about eighty years; finally he found his key and opened the door. The house was all dark inside like it usually was. In the backyard, Luke and Leia were barking their heads off. Steve moaned again. “MY CHILDREN ARE CALLING ME,” he wailed.

“Oh my god,” said Billy. He was so happy again. “You want me to let 'em in?”

“No, I'm tired of cleaning up after them. Can I really lay on you?”

Billy felt more happy and also less happy. Harrington was really fucked up; Billy was hoping he wouldn't be like one of the four people out of every million who fucking died from general anesthesia or something. “You wanna go on your couch?” he said. Steve was just standing there against the front door and he looked like he needed direction.

“ _No,_ ” Steve said like a two-year-old. “I want my bed.”

Of course he did. “Okay, so go upstairs.”

“Okay.” Steve stumbled up the stairs. Billy didn't know if he was supposed to follow him or what; eventually he did.

Up in his room Steve struggled for eighty years to take his stupid sweater off; Billy turned the light on for him. Steve flopped onto his bed like a dead fish; he was wearing his black t-shirt that Billy'd given him back and he looked real skinny. He moaned away again. “Oh my god, my mouth. My teeth. You can just go if you want.”

“Thought I was supposed to hang out with you and make sure you ain't gonna die.” Billy picked up Steve's bat that was full of nails; it was on his dresser for some reason.

“I _am_ dying,” Steve informed him like a dramatic bitch. Billy ignored him.

“I like your monster weapon,” he told Steve. He turned the bat in his hands a couple times. Henderson was always swinging it around like a crazy person the few times Billy'd seen him here.

“Oh yeah?” Steve laughed on his bed; it sounded like it hurt him. “Guess what, that is actually Jonathan's. You should probably just go over there.”

“Don't _ever_ say that shit to me again,” Billy said. Steve smiled at him like he'd said something cute; he really did look like a chipmunk.

Then he stopped smiling. “MY FUCKING FACE HURTS,” he said.

“I know, man.”

Steve covered his face with his hands like a dramatic bitch. “Can you open my window?” he asked.

Billy stared at him; it was like thirty degrees out. “Really?”

“I can't sleep with my window shut.”

“Jesus, okay.”

Steve's window was over on the side of his bed; Billy had to climb over him to get to it. Steve laid there like a chipmunk in a coma and stared up at him. “Thanks,” he said. “You can go if you want.”

Billy felt weird as fuck climbing over him; he shoved Steve into the wall and sat down on the corner of the bed. “You want me to go?”

“It doesn't matter, everyone leaves me. It's my birthday,” Steve said like a dramatic chipmunk.

“Okay, okay, calm down, Stella. Where your parents at?”

Steve moaned again. “Skiing in the mountains with my dad's brother, they didn't even ask me to go this year.”

Billy felt surprised; he actually stopped being affected by the moan. “Seriously?”

“Hrnnnnngh,” Steve said like a crazy person. Billy turned his head and stared down at him. If he was having a seizure they were totally fucked. Steve just made the eyebrow-wrinkle face. “I mean, I didn't go for like the last two years. I mean I started dating Nancy, I wanted to be with her all the time because that's, that's how I am. Then last year I went to Dustin's house. He's all alone with his mom. But now he, he's got that girlfriend.”

“Sorry, man,” Billy said. “I didn't mean to help him get lucky.”

“No no no,” Steve said. His eyes were still closed. “I'm happy, happy for him. I gave him like the worst advice, I was all fucked up from Nancy. I'm glad he got a girl that likes him.”

“Still kinda can't believe it.”

“I know. Have you talked to her for a minute? She is like. _Mostly_ normal.” Billy laughed. Steve flopped over on his side; he was kinda laying behind Billy on the bed. Billy really didn't need to be on the bed. Steve reached out and started touching and poking at Billy's elbow that had the huge bruise on it. “This, this looks kinda better,” he said.

“Yeah, it actually hurts way fuckin' more than my face did.”

Steve pouted like a dying chipmunk; Billy was never gonna forget it. “Sad Billy,” he said. “That's cause you hit your funny bone. Not that you have a funny bone, 'cause you're not funny.” Even drugged up as shit Harrington cracked himself up.

“M'funny,” Billy said. Steve was still touching his arm like a weird person; Billy felt really weird.

“You can really go if you want,” Steve said. “I'm okay, I am used to being alone. I lost most of my friends when I was dating Nancy. And I, I'm not good enough for her. I am always alone.”

“You're good enough for me,” Billy told him like a huge homo; Steve was fucked up and wouldn't remember it. “Me and Max, we like ya enough.”

“Thank you,” Steve said all serious. He was still touching Billy's arm. “That means a lot to me. You and Max are good people.”

“I dunno about that.”

“Did you get her a Christmas present?”

“Yeah, got her that camera she wanted.” He probably really should get off the bed.

“Man. She's gonna lose her shit.”

“Dunno why I even got it.”

“She's your family,” Steve said.

“I _guess so,_ ” Billy said very resentfully.

Steve laughed at him. “Oh my god. You're so cute, man.”

“I ain't even trying.”

“Hmm,” said Steve. “I'm sleeping now.”

“Okay.”

Steve fell asleep in like two seconds; he still had his hand on Billy's arm. After a couple minutes Billy got up off the bed; he dug around in his pockets and put the silver lighter he'd got him in Steve's hand. It was a little after five and he wondered if he should just go. He kept hearing Steve saying though _I am always alone._ He turned on Steve's Nintendo and put the volume on mute. He sat on the floor and played it til Steve woke up at eight.

“Hey, you're still here,” Steve said. He flopped over on the bed and leaned over on his pillow; he was practically hanging over Billy's shoulder. “Did you put a lighter in my hand?”

“Yeah, happy birthday.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Steve sounded all surprised like he hadn't been wailing that the 19th was his 19th birthday all month. “I need to take like eight Percocets, I am seriously about to cry.”

“Can I – “

Steve huffed and interrupted him. “Yeah you can have the rest if I don't use 'em all.” Billy felt happy; he was pretty sure he was at least halfway in love with Harrington. Wouldn't even matter if he didn't have any teeth.

“You want me to make you some soup or something?” He could feel Steve staring at him; some of his hair was falling onto Billy's shoulder. “What? That's what you're supposed to eat if you don't feel good.” He didn't even have a mom anymore and he knew that shit. “I don't want you to go on a bad trip.”

“Okay,” Steve said. He followed Billy downstairs. “I'm not supposed to use a straw for a week.”

“Why the fuck would you use a straw to eat soup.”

“I don't know!” snapped Steve. He followed Billy into the kitchen and sat down at the table like a little kid. He was still too fucked up to even make fun of Billy that much.

* * *

Christmas was about the same as usual; it sucked a little less than usual. He and Max didn't hate each other's guts this year so they had some sort of sibling solidarity going on. Billy's old man was home and everyone tried their hardest not to be in the living room for more than two minutes. Susan was burning the turkey somehow and it'd only been in the oven for an hour; Max came into the kitchen and said “Oh thank god,” when she saw Billy making the mashed potatoes.

“Comments to yourself, Max,” Susan said. She opened the kitchen window to let some of the smoke from the oven out.

Max was leaning into the stove and looking into it like a fire hazard. “The turkey's upside down again,” she told her mom.

Susan gasped. “No it's not!”

“Billy!” Max yapped. “The turkey's upside down!”

Billy looked at the turkey. “Yeah, sorry, it's upside down.”

“Does that matter?” Susan asked.

Max and Billy exchanged a look; they spent about five minutes managing to flip the turkey over. Max screamed her head off that she had third degree burns now. Somehow Susan's second-best dishtowel ended up out the window and Max and Susan were both yelling at each other. Women were so dramatic.

They ate a tense lovely dinner together; the turkey looked all lopsided and like it was from a cartoon. It fell apart when they tried to cut into it. Billy could see Max trying not to lose her shit.

“This is better than last year,” Billy's old man said. “Do we have any stuffing?”

The fire alarm in the kitchen started going off. Max lost her shit laughing. “Not anymore!” she said.

By six o'clock they'd cleaned up and Max started squawking at him to take her over to the Wheeler's. She'd already told him about the stupid Christmas party at the Wheeler's three times this week and so had Steve; they'd both looked at Billy like he was gonna jump for joy and run out and buy a new Christmas sweater to wear for it.

Two nights before had been Maxine's stupid Snowflake dance at school; Billy'd ended up driving her like he knew he'd have to. Maxine wore a blue dress and freaked him the fuck out looking like an actual pretty teenager. She was getting kind of tall and even had boobs and shit now; it was really fucking weird and terrible. She was gonna be fifteen in a couple months, older than Tracey'd been when Billy'd started sleeping with her. He thought about this and thought he'd probably have to kill Sinclair real soon. Then he thought about Elijane and Wheeler Jr and thought he'd definitely have to kill Wheeler Jr real soon.

“Holy shit, Max, you almost look like a real girl,” Billy'd told her while she was putting on her little baby half-inch heels in the living room.

Max made a gremlin face at him and then smiled. “Thanks, I almost feel like a real girl,” she said. Billy's dad was giving them a weird glare from the couch; Billy thought they were supposed to be getting along and all.

He'd driven Max to Sinclair's house and picked him up too; Billy was 105% sure his father would kill him and skin him alive if he knew Billy'd picked up Midnight but he wasn't thinking about it. He even let them play Power 99 in the car; they needed to get into that shitty school-dance mentality.

Once they got to the school he'd climbed out of the car so Max could push the front seat up and climb out; she'd shocked the holy hell out of him and threw herself at him and gave him a hug. “Thanks for driving me and Lucas!” she said.

“Please stop, we're in public,” Billy'd said. He'd drove down to the diner to meet Steve; Steve had given Henderson a lift to the dance. He guessed Henderson had decided to be a rich boy for the night since it was his only option.

Steve had bugged him about the party at the Wheeler's too; he'd laughed at Billy saying _I'll think about it_ for the second time. Steve was making leaps and strides and was mostly eating solid foods again by then.

“Fucking what?” Billy'd said. He'd still felt all grossed out by Maxine hugging him.

“Nothing. I've just heard you say that to Max all month and then you do whatever she wants, you're totally going.”

“The fuck I am, I'm definitely not going now.”

“It's my birthday,” Steve had reminded him.

“Ain't your fucking birthday.” Billy didn't feel the need to remind him that he'd laid on his bed and touched Billy's arm for a fucking hour on his birthday.

“Come on, you're like half the reason I said I'd go, you want to leave me with Nancy and Jonathan?”

“Wow, half the reason, keep sweet-talkin' me,”

Steve had laughed at him. “What, you want to be the whole reason?”

“No,” Billy'd lied. “Look, I said I'll think about it, okay?”

“See you Thursday!” Steve had said like an annoying person.

Anyway it was Thursday and anyway Billy was going. He felt real annoyed that Maxine and Steve apparently thought they had him on a little leash. He did what he wanted! Mostly he was going to see El! Stupid shitheads.

Neil was being real generous with them and said Max could stay out until midnight; she bounced out in the new snow to Billy's car. She was wearing her new bomber jacket with spikes on the collar; Susan'd gotten her the green one like Billy'd said.

“I know you picked this out for me,” Max told him as they climbed into the car.

“I didn't pick out shit for you.”

“My mom always gets me pink stuff, it clashes with my hair.”

“Everything clashes with your hair,” Billy told her.

“Shut up! Yours too!”

Billy ignored her being a stupid shithead; he stretched around behind him and rummaged in his backseat. He'd been hiding Max's present in the trunk but he'd taken it out earlier when he'd gone out into the yard looking for Susan's second-best dishtowel. “Got you a present.” He hadn't wanted her to open it up in front of Neil and her mom; it sucked to open up gifts when you weren't sure if your old man was about to start screaming his head off at you.

Max looked surprised as shit like he'd expected her to. “You got me a present?” she asked. “What is it?”

“I forget.”

Max took the box from him and shook it like a crazy person. “Probably coal or Luke and Leia's dog shit.” She cracked him the fuck up.

“Quit fucking shakin' it and open it.”

Max gave him a mistrustful glance. “It better not be dog shit.” Billy wished it was dog shit. She tore one corner of the pretty snowflake paper off and started screaming her head off. “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS!” She ripped the rest of the paper off with lightning gremlin speed.

“What you wanted, ain't it?”

“Oh my god.” Max was holding the stupid Polaroid camera like it was a box of gold or candy; she looked really happy. “Oh my god, did you steal this?”

Jesus she was annoying. “No I didn’t fuckin’ steal it.”

“Oh my god, it has the automatic flash on it!”

She was looking all affected and it made Billy feel real scared. He could not handle her crying twice in one month. He wasn't used to giving people shit; he wished she'd been unconscious like Steve. “Chill out, okay?”

“THANK YOU SO MUCH, BILLY!”

“What you wanted, right?”

“Yes, it's what I wanted.” Max was beaming at him. She started tearing the package open in two seconds. “Does it have any film?”

“Got you like three rolls, they're in the trunk still.”

“OH MY GOD, YOU'RE THE BEST.” Max threw her arms around him and hugged him for the second time this month; truly he felt assaulted. He hoped none of the neighbors were looking at them in his car. The sharp end of the camera box jabbed into his stomach.

“Okay, okay, calm the fuck down.”

Max yapped and squawked about the camera for the whole ride to the Wheelers; it actually came with a roll of film in the box and she set everything up. She took two terrible blurry pictures as they drove down Main Street; she caught old man Keegan walking his ugly dog on the corner of Main and Broad. She looked real happy and Billy felt okay.

He felt slightly less okay when he'd parked in front of the Wheelers; they were nice and all but it had already been a long day. He wanted to see El and Steve and Max being a retard with her camera but he didn't feel like being around everyone's parents and probably no alcohol. “Okay, let's get this shit over with.” Five hours at the Wheelers; god help him. But he wanted to see Steve again. He wanted to see Steve real bad.

“Okay, wait!” said Max. “I got you something too.” She was digging around in the pockets of her puffy vest.

“Are you serious?” Maxine tossed a little lumpy present at him; it was wrapped in red reindeer paper and truly looked like a lump of dogshit. “Okay, is this Luke's or Leia's?”

Max cackled like a witch. “Open it and find out.”

Billy gave her a mistrustful glance of his own; he hated opening gifts. He peeled back the paper and found more paper; it was the same snowflake paper that Joyce had wrapped her camera with. “Look, if you're fucking with me we ain't got time – “

“Just open it!” Max yapped.

Billy sighed. He kept peeling the paper off. Finally he opened the snowflake wrapper up and didn't see anything; he couldn't believe she was fucking with him after he'd got her her stupid camera. Then he found it and pulled it out; it was some kinda jewelry or something, a long silver chain. He pulled it out and it was his mom's pendant on the end of it.

Max cackled like a witch again; Billy held the pendant and just stared at it. He turned it around in his hands a couple times. It was definitely his mother's St. Christopher medal; it had the little dent on the back of it from when he'd accidentally sent it through the dryer two years ago. “How'd you get this?”

“Do you like it?” Max demanded. “I spent all my money on the chain, it's way better than the one you got!”

“Yeah, I – “ Billy didn't know what to say. He thought he'd lost it; he was sure he'd lost it. “How'd you get this?”

“Are you mad I didn't give it to you before? I wanted to get you the necklace part, we thought we'd surprise you.”

“I'm not mad,” Billy told her. He was just looking at the pendant; he thought he'd lost it. “How'd you get it? Where'd you find it?”

“I didn't find it, Steve found it,” Max told him. Billy stared at her. “What? He loves you!” Max yapped her head off. “He went and found it the same night you lost it!” Billy didn't say anything so Max kept on going. “He gave it to me to give to you, I told him he should do it! I guess he didn't want to be super gay, he said you'd make fun of him. Do you like it, are you mad?”

“I'm not mad,” Billy said again. He didn't know what to say. He thought he'd lost it. His mind was exploding thinking about Steve looking for it in the snowstorm. “I – thanks, Max. I mean it.”

“The chain is really good, me and Mike pulled each other all over the parking lot checking to see if it'd break, you can totally keep beating people up for Will!”

“What were you gonna do if it broke?” Billy asked her.

Max made a face. “Well I – okay well it didn't break!” she yapped. “Are you happy?”

“Yeah, I'm happy.”

“Well, are you going to put it on? I want Steve to see it! You have to complete your douchebag outfit.” He was wearing his black shirt with the pop buttons again and a stupid red sweater Susan'd got him. Billy put it on. Max snapped a photo of him right away; Billy already regretted buying her the stupid camera.

“Do we have to hug again or some shit?” Billy asked her.

Max considered him and made a face. “No, I think I'm good.” Billy thanked God. “Come on, I want to eat stuff that's not burnt!” She dragged him out of the car; Billy barely had time to go to the trunk and grab his gifts for Byers and Eliane. He'd wrapped them himself and they looked like shit.

“I can't believe you got a present for Will, I didn't even get him anything,” Max said as she drug him up the walkway. “Did you seriously have a brain transplant? I like this brain way better.”

“I don't like to see kids get picked on.”

Max banged on the door like a gremlin. “You pick on like eighty people a day!”

“That's different,” Billy told her. On all his report cards it said he had aggression issues. “Byers is a harmless little fairy, he don't do shit to nobody.”

“Don't call him a fairy!” Max yapped her head off. God she was taking away all his fun language. “Should you be saying that when you're in love with the richest boy in town?”

Maxine was a terrible person; he regretted the whole night. “I ain't in love, you moron.”

“Okaaaaay,” Max said. They both put on their biggest smiles when Mrs. Wheeler opened the door; their argument was to-be-continued.

Mrs. Wheeler was wearing a green dress and she looked hot as shit as usual. Max grabbed Billy's arm and dragged him away before he could start hitting on her; she was such a mood-killer. They passed Mr. Wheeler getting drunk in the kitchen and Mrs. Byers wearing a sweater that actually fit her for once. The Creepy Kid Club and Steve and a bunch of other people were in the living room; Steve made room for Max and Billy on the couch by shoving Henderson the fuck off of it. “Hey, you guys look really nice!”

“Thanks, you look like Freddy Krueger,” Billy told him. Steve was wearing a red-and-green striped sweater.

“Oh my god,” Steve said. He looked down at himself. “Do I?” Max grabbed her camera and snapped a picture of him; the flash went off in his face. “Je-sus, thanks. You like your camera, huh?”

“Yup!” said Max. “Do you like my jacket?” She struck a pose.

“Sure, you look great.”

“Do you see Billy's new sweater? Does it look good?”

“Max, go find your fuckin' boyfriend,” Billy told her. Max snapped her camera in his face and wandered off.

Henderson was yapping over with his arm around Tracey-Rebecca; she looked real shy. “Billy, did you buy me a present?” Dustin asked.

Steve flicked his lighter in Dustin's face. “Go away, I just got rid of you!”

“Jesus Christ!” Henderson batted the lighter away. “Stop doing that, my mom says my hat is a fire hazard. Where'd you get that, did you finally buy one?”

Steve flicked his lighter again. “It was a birthday present, asshole.”

“Who got it for you?”

“The only person who got me a present, you stupid shithead!”

“Steve, I bought you cupcakes!” Dustin yapped his head off.

“You ate fuckin' nine of them!”

“Oh my god, it was like six, you're so dramatic.” Dustin was pulling away at the presents in Billy's hand; Billy could not believe the nerve of him. “Merry Christmas, who are the presents for?”

“Henderson, do you wanna get killed in front of your girlfriend?” Billy asked him. “Send El and Byers over to me, okay?”

“Jonathan?”

“No, you idiot!”

“Okay okay!” Dustin yapped on for about five minutes; Tracey-Rebecca said about two things. Finally they wandered away so that Dustin could find more food to shove in his piehole. Every now and then Billy could see a flash going off; Max was being a shithead and documenting everything at the party.

“Oh my god, he makes my head hurt,” Steve said. He dug around in his pockets. “Merry Christmas, here's your Percocets.” He gave Billy the bottle; maybe Billy was in love with him like Maxine said. It wasn't coke but it was something; Billy still had high hopes. Hahaha.

“You feel okay and all? Your parents come home?”

“Yeah, my mom made me cookies yesterday and I only cried a little when I ate them. That was a joke, by the way.”

“Don't lie to me, I'm real proud of you,” Billy said.

Steve poked the new chain on his neck. “Did Max give you your thing?”

“Yeah, she gave it to me,” Billy played with his necklace. “How come you ain't wanna tell me you found it?”

“Oh.” Steve stared at him with his big doe eyes; he bit his bottom lip. Across the room the flash went off again; Billy could sense Max being a huge shithead. “I ... she told you that, huh?”

“Yeah, she told me.”

“Are you mad? We were gonna give it to you right away.”

“I ain't mad.”

“I didn't want you to think I was obsessed with you or something.”

“Ain't you?”

Steve laughed at him. “Umm,” he said. He looked kinda embarrassed; it was truly, truly amazing. “I don't know. I guess I must be, I looked for it for like two hours.” It made Billy feel weird; he didn't have to do that. He definitely didn't have to do that. He was just looking at Steve and looking at him. “It totally wasn't on the steps either, it was like out in the parking lot. Did you know there's a night janitor at the school now? He hit me with a pipe.”

Billy laughed. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, it was a rake. We had a real nice time together. Sorry I couldn't find your chain, I was like frozen solid.”

“This one's better.”

“Yeah … so … uh, Merry Christmas.” Steve was still chewing his lip. “I got your records in my car, you can come over tomorrow and listen to them. Or whenever I mean. Whenever you want.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He still felt really weird. Kinda like the floor was gonna swallow him up again but not in a bad way. “Thanks, man,” he said. Like with Max, he said, “I mean it.”

“Sure, it's not a big deal.” He didn't understand what Billy meant. Max came up like a gremlin and took another picture of them.

“Steve, can you take a picture of me and Billy?”

“Jesus Christ,” said Billy.

“It's Christmas!” Max yapped her head off. Steve got off the couch and Max sat down next to Billy so Steve could take their picture. “Wait, hold on!” Max adjusted her bra. “Okay, go.”

“Oh my fucking god,” said Billy; he was blind. Steve took the picture of Max laughing her head off.

After that it was a revolving door of people wanting to come and sit with him; he was real popular with the Creepy Kid Club tonight. He even talked to Lucas for two minutes. El came and sat by him for a long time and he gave her her book; she looked real happy looking at it. Byers #1 about exploded into glitter when Billy gave him his Misfits record. After that Byers kept bringing him food and sodas which was swell because it meant Billy didn't have to get up; Henderson kept trooping over and taking about half the shit though.

Billy talked to the Creepy Kid Club and a couple of girls from school; he guessed they were Nancy's girlfriends. Velma or Sandy from the Halloween party came up and talked to him for a while; he wouldn't have flirted with her if he'd known she was one of Nancy's girlfriends.

Mostly he was looking at Steve. His heart felt about three sizes too big and stuck in his throat. Steve talked to him a lot and to Max and Henderson; he was looking around for Nancy though. He finally caught her in the doorway to the kitchen; she wasn't really looking at him. Billy'd seen Steve act like a huge dumbass in front of Nancy twice this month when they'd been at the Byers' house. They'd went out for a year so he didn't know why Steve couldn't talk to her.

Steve looked so good even though he was dressed like Freddy Krueger; Jesus he even had brown dress pants on. Billy and Max were gonna have to tie him down and make him watch a lot of horror movies. Billy sat and watched Steve talk to Nancy, a horror movie in itself. She was smiling and glancing at him; she wasn't really looking at him. Billy thought Nancy was for shit but the way Steve was looking at her, Billy wished she'd look at him back. People'd kill to get looked at that way; Billy'd kill for it.

Nancy smiled and touched Steve's arm; she pushed past him into the kitchen. Steve watched her go. He wandered off into the den.

Maxine collapsed on the couch next to him. She had a weird look on her face. “Can you die from drinking too much vegetable oil?”

Billy stared at her. “Why?”

“No reason. Do we have to go soon?”

Billy looked around for a clock; it was almost midnight. “I guess so.”

“Okay! I have to go get my camera and say bye to the guys! Do you want to come say bye to El?”

Billy did; they trooped down to the basement. Elijane gave him a hug which was great (especially for Wheeler Jr's face) and Henderson gave him a hug which was disgusting (especially for Wheeler Jr's face). El hugged Max too which was nice or whatever Billy guessed.

They left the Wheeler's right at midnight; Max'd called her mom to say they were gonna be home late. Susan had told her just to be quiet when they came in. Max was yapping her head off and carrying eight plates of food from Mrs. Wheeler as they went outside; somehow she’d got a felt pair of reindeer antlers and had been wearing them all night. Once they got outside they found Steve smoking on the front steps and looking like a kicked puppy.

“You guys leaving?”

“Yeah, we have a stupid curfew,” Max told him.

“ _You_ have a curfew,” Billy corrected her.

“Whatever!”

“Do you guys want to do something this weekend?” Steve asked them. He was still looking like a kicked puppy.

“Sure!” said Max.

“Is it safe to call your house or what?”

Max and Billy exchanged a look; Max said, “We better call you.” She brightened. “We should get walkie talkies like the guys!” Billy sighed internally for a million years. They said bye to Steve and got situated in Billy's car; Max stacked up all her food precariously in the little backseat and then shuffled through her photos as Billy started driving. She started putting her best ones on his leg.

“Here's Hopper touching Joyce's butt, I am gonna need that back for evidence. Here's you and me!”

“I don't need a picture of your ugly face.”

Max made a gremlin face at him. “Here's Dustin eating eighty cupcakes. Here's Dustin eating a piece of pie. Here's Dustin drinking vegetable oil.”

“Why the fuck's – “

“Oh, here's you and Steve!” Max waved the picture in his face; Billy almost drove off the road. “Steve is looking at you like you're a t-bone steak in this one. I took like three pictures of you guys.”

“Oh my god, please don't start your shit.” Max had eaten after midnight; she was definitely turning into a huge gremlin.

“Steve totally likes you!” Max yapped. “He looked at you all night!”

Billy was still not going to do this to himself. “No he wasn't.”

“Okay, I'm Steve.” Max leaned on the console and stared at him with her chin in her hand. With her stupid antlers on she looked like the biggest asshole Billy’d ever seen in his life. “Billy, do you want to go to the moooovies? Oh Billy, you look really cute, I looked for your necklace in the snow for five hours. Billy, why were you talking to Joooonathan? Do you like Joooonathan more than me?”

She was making him laugh. “Shut the fuck up.”

Max flopped back into her seat; her photos scattered everywhere. “ _I_ think he likes you.” She got her biggest gremlin face on. “Do you want to make another bet?”

There was definitely never going to be anything between him and Harrington but Billy loved a bet, especially one he could win. “What bet?”

“Okay, I bet Steve likes you.”

“That's not even a bet, how you gonna bet on that?”

“I'm not finished!” Max yapped. “Okay, if you guys get together by like … the end of March, I win the bet. If you guys don't get together then I lose.”

She was making Billy tired. “Define get together, what bases are we talking about?”

“I HATE YOU,” Max reminded him.

“Fucking what? I'm not in a Disney movie. I need the _Sixteen Candles_ shit. Do I have to suck his dick or what?”

“I HATE YOU, okay, I don't need to hear about it all! I mean like kissing and stuff! Holding hands!”

“Jesus Christ.”

“You already tucked him in and petted his hair, you totally want to hold his hand!”

Billy ignored her. “Okay, so what do I get when I win this stupid bet and Steve punches me in the fucking face?”

Max thought about it. “Hmm. Okay, if you win, I'll take you to the Metallica concert in June.” They were gonna play up in Indianapolis.

They were home already; Billy parked in the dark driveway. “You're full of shit, you don't have any Metallica money.”

“I'm going to get a JOB as soon as I turn FIFTEEN!” Her birthday was in April. “Joyce already said I can work at the general store with her!”

“Okay, okay, stop screaming at me.”

“ _Fine._ Okay, when I win the bet – “ Billy opened his mouth; Max yapped over him – “ _WHEN I WIN THE BET,_ you have to take me to see … “ She thought about it. Billy sighed; he already knew what she was gonna say. “YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO SEE GEORGE MICHAEL! And I want to go to the country club. I want a new dress for the country club.”

“That is like, way more shit than I'm getting when I win,” Billy pointed out.

“You and Steve will be in love and he's rich,” Max told him. “Can't you get him to buy me a dress?”

Billy wondered if somehow she'd taken all his Percocets. He checked his pockets; they were still there. “Okay, fine. I'll take you to see George Michael and to the country club. When I win, you better fucking buy me Metallica tickets. You ain't coming either.”

“ _Fine!_ ” Max looked like a demon. “Shake on it?”

Billy shook her hand. “You're totally fucked up,” he told her.

“I'm not fucked up, I'm a romantic.” Max got all her food and got out of the car.

They sneaked into their house; Max put her snacks in the fridge and Billy went around turning all the lights off. It was real quiet and Susan and Neil weren't screaming at each other for once; Max and Billy went out onto the roof anyway. Max laid her Care Bears blanket out for them to lay on on top of the snow.

Max tuned her Walkman for a bit; the classic rock station was all fuzzy so she put on 102.5. Throwing Muses was on playing 'Soul Soldier' again. Billy smoked a cigarette and looked up at the stars; he didn't even need a Percocet. He and Max stayed out there for a while.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

_You can all just kiss off into the air_  
_Behind my back, I can see them stare_  
_They'll hurt me bad, but I don't mind_  
_They'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time_  
_Yeah, yeah, they do it all the time_  
_Yeah, yeah, they do it all the time_  
_Yeah, yeah, they do it all the time_  
_They do it all the time_

— 'Kiss Off,' The Violent Femmes

 

**January 1987**

New Year's Eve came and Billy took Max to a party at her girl Beverly's house. It was an actual fuckin’ party with actual other teenagers and alcohol and no parents; Billy ended up staying too. He drank a couple beers on the couch – not too many on account of Maxine popping up and yelling her head off that he still had to drive them home. Then she kept popping up some more and rolling her goddamn eyes out of her head at him; after ten o'clock Billy was surrounded by about three or four underclassmen girls on the couch.

HAHAHA, Billy said in his head at Max. He loved being surrounded by girls on a couch. He got up and wandered off at quarter to midnight anyway; he didn't want to have to kiss anyone he didn't care about. It didn't feel right. He was trying not to do that shit this year. Or next year. Starting in about fifteen minutes, whatever.

Billy went outside and smoked a cigarette before he could start up with his faggy shit. On his way through the kitchen he bumped into Henderson and Tracey-Rebecca; he felt surprised as shit to see them there and they both waved at him. Henderson was shoving a million pounds of food into his pie-hole like usual and talking up a storm to poor Rebecca. Billy wanted to tell him to lay off the snacks: he wouldn't be able to kiss his girl at midnight with a mouthful of brownie.

Then Billy shuddered internally at the thought of Henderson kissing anyone anyway. He rushed outside before he'd have to see it.

Max came and found him at about twelve-thirty still outside smoking. “ _You_ look like you're having so much fun,” she said sarcastically. “Are you ready to go? Or do you wanna sit out here and think about _kissing Steve_ at midnight some more?” She pantomimed sticking her tongue in someone's mouth; she was the true worst.

Billy'd been sitting on the hood of his car; he slid forward until his feet touched the ground and then stood up. “Swear to god, Max, watch your fuckin' mouth,” he warned her. They weren't alone gabbing like girls in their little kitchen; she was gonna say the wrong shit in front of someone one day.

Max ignored him being threatening. She was good at that. “He was supposed to be here!”

“Just saw Steve for like four days straight.” They'd been continuing their tradition of eating Harrington out of house and home; Harrington was continuing his strange tradition of not minding.

“Yeah, but it's New Year's!” Max yapped. “Anyway, I bet he wasn’t coming here for _me._ ” Billy rolled his eyes and lit another cigarette. Max climbed into the passenger seat and started fucking with the radio right away. Madonna was playing on POWER 99; Max hesitated hopefully but then clicked past it at Billy's look.

The Replacements were on on the college station singing 'Can't Hardly Wait.' Max sang along fucking the words up like usual and Billy glanced over at her while he was driving. She'd been all jazzed up all week about the party at Bev's; Bev was a sophomore and Max's coolest friend apparently. She'd got her mom to do her hair up real nice and she was wearing some kinda fancy girl blouse under her bomber jacket. Her hair was in a ponytail spilling down over her skinny neck and she was even wearing fuckin' eyeshadow.

She looked like an actual pretty teenager again: Billy glared at her for growing the fuck up on him.

Max looked over at him glaring at her and then she made one of her familiar gremlin faces; she just looked like Max again. “ _What?_ ” she said. “Oh my god, Billy, it was like half a beer!”

“Wait wait, you're drinkin' now?”

Max made another face. “Lucas had some too and it was gross anyway!” she said like that made it better. Goddamn he really was gonna have to kill Sinclair pretty soon.

“You are such a piece of shit, Max,” Billy told her.

They got home just before one; Susan was sitting and waiting for them on the couch. Billy's old man had gone out on the road two days after Christmas so they had permission to go out again without worrying.

Max hugged her mom and kissed her on the cheek; Billy wasn't looking at them. “Happy New Year, Mom!” she said.

Susan hugged her back. Then she narrowed her eyes. “Max, why do you smell like a whole pack of cigarettes?”

“What? That's from Billy smoking in the car!” Max lied her ass off and zoomed off to the bathroom.

Susan went off to bed with her chickadee safe at home and Billy lounged around on the couch waiting for Max to get the fuck out of the bathroom so's he could shower. After eighty years Max came out with her hair in a bunch of rollers; she was gonna look like a goddamn idiot in the morning.

“Night, Billy!” she said.

“You better not be fucking smoking,” Billy warned her. “Lemme borrow your Walkman, okay?”

Max went into her room and came back out to toss her tape player at him; Billy put it in his own room and went to shower. Once he was finished he laid around on his bed and plugged his headphones in.

Last night he'd been at Steve's til almost three AM. He'd slept in late and wasn't tired now even though he'd been at work all day fucking with the Civic. He felt pretty bored laying around in his bed; he wondered if he should whack off or something.

The reception was still for shit at the house; Billy managed to get 102.5 with just a bit of static. They played a big block of Talking Heads and then some Metallica. The Dead Milkmen played a new song and after that Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds came on singing their crazy shit.

Nick Cave looked kinda all right. Weird and skinny with crazy hair but all right. Anyway that was Tracey's band so Billy wasn't gonna spend any time thinking about how good or not good Nick Cave looked.

Billy laid on his bed and thought about Tracey for a couple minutes; it was two thirty-four in the morning so it was a good time to think about her. Usually he tried not to think about Tracey too much but it was a new year and all. He wondered if she was out somewhere and if she was having a good time. She still had Jack, he hoped, and she didn't need Billy; she and Jack had been friends for years too but Billy'd been the one she wanted to go with. Maybe Jack'd take her out now.

He was so busy thinking about Tracey and listening to his headset that it took him about five minutes to notice his window was rattling away. Finally he looked up and almost had a goddamn coronary. Steve was standing there and looking in his window; apparently this was a thing Steve did now. Billy’s and Max's bedrooms were on the first floor on account of it being the only floor.

“JESUS FUCK,” Billy said. He sat up and pulled the headphones off; he thanked god he hadn't actually been whacking off or some shit. Then he got up and opened the window. “What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

Steve leaned in the window and looked up at him. Like usual he didn’t seem bothered by Billy’s tone. “I didn't want to knock out front in case your dad was here,” he said; it didn’t really answer Billy’s question.

“He still ain't back yet.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve was staring at him in a weird way; Billy was so glad he was ringing in the new year by giving Harrington a show of himself in his underwear and Dead Kennedys t-shirt. Steve started laughing at him. “Oh my god, Bills, do you always wear socks to bed?” he asked; he sounded truly delighted.

Billy lamented his life. “Fuck off.” Steve laughed some more at him and started climbing through the window; apparently that was a thing he did now too. “Harrington. We gotta stop meeting like this.”

Steve fell into the room. He was wearing his green jacket like usual and some kinda preppy polo shirt. Just jeans tonight and no dress pants; apparently New Year's wasn't as special an occasion as Christmas. “Ow. I can go if you want.”

“It don't matter.” Billy said again, “What are you doin' here?”

“Funny story, I was supposed to be at the party you were at.” So Maxine'd said. “Dustin told me to meet him at Mike's, apparently he meant the pizza place. I showed up at the Wheelers' and Mrs. Wheeler basically kidnapped me for the last four hours, it was a really great time.”

Billy tried not to laugh his ass off. “Good going, man.” He was trying, too, not not feel weird as fuck with Steve here in his empty little room. He didn't mind him being here or anything. Just felt strange after being in Steve's fancy house all the time. “So I guess you missed me too much.”

Steve looked around the room slowly; Billy noticed for the first time that Steve was drunk off his ass. “I did, actually, I guess,” he said. He was frowning; man he really knew how to flatter a guy.

“Did you fuckin’ drive here?”

Steve looked at him like he was dumb. “No, I walked, don't worry Mom.”

Billy felt eternally offended; Steve was such a piece of shit. “You walked from the Wheeler’s?” They were all the way on the other side of town.

“It’s not that far.” It was pretty far. “I, uh, had a real fun talk with Nancy and all.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said. Okay. Suddenly Steve showing up here at close to three AM made a lot more sense. “You start drinking before or after this talk?”

“Oh, before. Nancy's dad kept giving me whiskey, I think he forgets that I'm only a year older than her.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said again. “Okay, so you wanna talk about it?”

“What? Not really,” Steve said unconvincingly; he looked like he wanted to talk about it.

Billy sighed internally for a million years. Jesus Harrington was such a goddamn girl about certain things, Nancy Wheeler being one of them. “Lemme take some drugs and put some pants on.”

“Okay.”

Billy took two Percocets and put his jeans from earlier on. Steve stood staring at him with his big eyes the whole time like a drunken Froot Loop; Billy didn't know why he was lookin' and he was trying not to feel weird still. He'd never really had a guy friend that he'd hung out with a lot before. He never knew if he was feeling weird about shit because of how he felt about Steve, or if it was because shit actually was weird with them. Probably it was wishful thinking. He knew it was.

Steve stopped looking at him finally and he picked up Max's little radio that was on the bed. He just stood there looking at it like a drunk little kid; the headphones were still in. “What were you listening to?”

“College radio.” Billy pulled the headphones out and the music started playing tinnily through the little speakers. It was some REM song now. _If your world is a monster bad to swallow you whole._

They decided to go out on the roof; moreso Billy decided since really there was no safe space in his room for him and a drunk Steve. Max's awful Care Bears blanket was still on his floor from when they'd been out at Christmastime and he handed it over to Steve after he'd climbed back out the window. Steve stared at it for a while and apparently decided not to make a comment. They laid out on the roof (Billy had to give Steve a hand up like he was a clumsy little kid), not really talking and listening to the static-y radio for a couple minutes.

“Jesus. It's really cold.” Steve was so observant and succinct tonight.

“No shit,” Billy said. He'd never be happy here in Hawkins but he was used to it. “This is, like, me 'n Max's spot right out here.”

“Really?” Steve smiled over at him. Billy guessed that Steve thought it was real cute that he and Maxine usually had fuck-all to do at night aside from lay out together on their roof and freeze to death.

It _was_ pretty cold out but at least there was no snow anymore. Billy had his leather jacket on; he put his hands in his pockets. “That's _her_ fuckin' blanket, by the way,” he told Steve.

“Yeah, I figured.”

“You wanna go back in?”

“No, I'm okay.” Steve draped the Care Bears blanket over himself. He looked really drunk and really amused. “Let me tell you, I feel really honored out here with this blanket and all, Max's blanket. Do you want a corner?”

Mind you Billy's feelings had been getting way worse since Christmastime – it couldn't be helped – but he wondered if he'd ever be queer enough to get under a Care Bears blanket with Steve Harrington. Jesus he was so cute though; Billy felt like launching himself off the roof. It was only about fifteen feet high so it wouldn't do shit anyway. “I'm good, man.” After another couple minutes the Percs kicked in and then Billy actually was good. He wrapped his necklace around his fingers. “Okay, go off.”

“Huh?” Steve turned his head and looked at him; the moon was bright like usual out here and his eyes were so big. He looked good like usual too. Billy looked away.

“Thought you came over here to cry about Nancy. Tell me the shit if you want.”

“Oh,” said Steve. Billy could hear him shifting around in the blanket like a kid. “Okay, uh, I just … I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm so – I'm, I don’t know, I'm a fucking dumbass.”

“I ain't arguing.”

Steve made his _just-ate-dogshit_ face at him; it made Billy smile without meaning to. “Whatever. Okay, so Nancy and Jonathan've been – like, having this big fight since Christmas apparently,” Steve told him. “Something about college I guess, Nance doesn't want him to stay in state for her. Since he is so. So, so, _so_. So smart and all, he can do anything, you know. He can go anywhere. He's Mr. NYU.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So Nance is like storming around all night, she's got her drink in her hand. She's going off, you know, as you do when your boyfriend, you know Mr. NYU, wants to stay in state for ya – “

He was making Billy smile again; he probably shouldn't be smiling. Steve had a way of saying stuff that amused the shit out of him. “Uh-huh.”

“Okay, so Jonathan's there for like ten minutes which is a great time before he fucks off. I am sitting on the couch listening to Mike talkin' to El on his stupid radio, somehow he keeps telling me to shut up even though I only say two things.”

“Happy New Year,” Billy said which wasn't even funny; Steve laughed anyway.

“Nancy's still storming around. I've had like five drinks so, okay, here I come, King Dumbass – “

“That your official title or just what the little people call ya?”

“Fuck off,” Steve told him; he was smiling. “Lemme tell my story.”

“Okay, all right.”

“So I do my usual shit, I go over and I'm comforting her, I'm like – “ Steve made his voice go up two octaves like a fuckin' pussy – “I'm like, _oh Nancy, don't worry, everything'll work out like you wanted_ , bullshit bullshit.”

“Dunno why you always follow her around doing that shit.”

Steve was staring up at the sky. “Yeah, I don't know either. I barely do it now. What?!” he said when Billy looked at him. “Anyway, that – that doesn't matter. None of it matters actually. So I calm her down, we start talking, she's, like, apologizing to me and shit. I'm like, _oh Nancy, no hard feelings_ – “ he laughed for some reason. “And she's like – well, we never really talked about stuff I guess.”

He didn't say anything for a while. Billy waited. Then he waited some more. Finally Steve started talking again. “So she was like. Apologizing for last year. And I said you don't need to apologize.” Billy sighed; Steve ignored him. “And she said, you know. She said she didn't mean to sleep with Jonathan back last November, it just happened so fast.”

Billy tried hard not to make a pun, really he tried so hard. He managed not to; in his head he congratulated himself. “Okay,” he said so Steve’d go on.

Steve was still staring straight up at the sky and he had the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows again; it was a pretty big one. “The thing is I – didn't really know they'd did that,” he said. “You know. So that was really fun, it was a really fun conversation. And I'm just holding her drink like an asshole as she's telling me how she cheated on me.”

Billy rolled his head to the side and stared at him. “Man. You didn't know that shit?”

Everybody knew that shit; everyone at school had been talking about it last year. Everyone knew Nancy'd slept with Byers before she'd dumped Steve. Everyone knew and talked about it. Even the Creepy Kid Club talked about it; Mike and Lucas and even Will talked about it when Steve wasn't around. They had thought Steve was a real sad sack all last year, Max'd told Billy. Henderson was always yapping and defending him.

Steve was making a face. “I don't _know,_ ” he said. “I mean – okay. Okay I guess I fuckin' knew. I knew. I knew they hooked up. I just didn’t think – we never talk about it. There was other stuff going on. I mean, you know. _Fuckin' monsters_ and shit. And apparently Will was possessed, like okay, that was a thing. And that – that whole mess with Barb came out.”

“Who the fuck's Barb?”

Steve was looking at him like he was an asshole. “Uh, are you ser — Nancy, Nancy's friend that died?!” he said all loud. “I told you about her. You know, that girl I got killed?”

“Oh right.” There was too much crazy shit to remember when you were in the Creepy Kid Club, even if you were just a junior member. Billy still didn’t know all the shit, he was pretty sure. “Right, sorry.” Steve looked all crazy again and it was makin' Billy feel like he was supposed to say something. “I don't really think you guys got her killed, man. It was just a party.” He was pretty sure they hadn't known there were fucking aliens in the backyard; he wondered how Luke and Leia'd stayed safe.

“According to Nancy we got her killed,” Steve told him. “She said that to me before, you know. I guess that's why she – I dunno. I guess if you and your shitty boyfriend get your best friend killed and shit, you gotta stay with him for a whole year after. Otherwise it kinda makes the whole thing pretty damn pointless, right?”

Now, Billy was pretty well-versed in being a shitty boyfriend – mind you he and Tracey'd never fought no monsters or aliens or any shit like that. Honestly he wasn't even sure still that that shit'd really happened; he felt like he'd probably have to see it to believe it. Hopefully he'd never see it. “I don't think chicks really think that way,” is all he said.

“I don't know.” Steve wasn't looking at him anymore; he looked real sad and shit. Billy wished again that he was a normal person and that he knew what to say. Not that there was anything normal about what they were talkin' about, monsters and Barbara Holland dying in your backyard, someone being stupid enough to cheat on Steve. “I don't know. When I think about it, it just feels like. Maybe she wanted him the whole time. Jonathan I mean.”

Probably she had; Nancy Wheeler was a goddamn idiot. “Man, it's been a year. You gotta get over her.”

“I am over her!” Steve snapped. “I'm just not over her – her screwing with me.” He said, “And I guess I fucked up too. I never – wanted to talk about that shit. I should have. I just wanted to pretend everything's normal, I still do. You know you're like the only fuckin' person I ever talk to about normal shit?”

“Yeah, you never shut the fuck up.”

Steve ignored him being an asshole; he pulled the Care Bears blanket up to his chin. For some reason he looked like he was about to go off again. It was the Harrington brand of womanly hysteria; Billy’d seen it a couple times before. Probably Steve'd got it from his mom or some shit. “Not that _you're_ fucking normal either. Every time I come over here I gotta worry what Max's gonna be screaming about this time or if your fuckin' father's beat you half to death – “

“Okay, we don't gotta talk about that,” Billy interrupted him. “Look, my dad ain't here half the time anyway. You're real sweet, Stella, you don't gotta worry about us.”

“Uh, someone has to,” Steve huffed like a forty-year-old mom. Even Billy's mom wouldn't be forty if she'd lived; she'd had him real young.

Anyway Billy didn't know what to say. “Was worse before. When I was a kid.”

Steve stared at him. “Yeah? How bad?”

Billy didn't answer him; he didn't need Steve feeling sorry for him. Apparently he already did which was so great. Anyway they were supposed to be talkin’ about Nancy.

Steve stared at him for a while. Eventually Billy took his hands out of his jacket pockets and turned Maxine's Walkman up so he didn't have to speak. It was the Violent Femmes playing their new song 'Never Tell' and Steve laughed; they'd listened to the first record together practically all yesterday. Steve really liked the songs 'Prove My Love' and 'Promise' because he was a fuckin' bleeding heart like Tracey and Maxine and everybody else Billy goddamn knew.

Those songs were okay anyway; that whole record was okay. He and Steve stayed out on the roof for a real long time. They stayed out there until the sun came up. Billy felt like Steve must be tired but Steve said he didn't really sleep much anymore. “You'd make fun of me if I told you.”

“Why, you dream about the monsters or some shit?”

Steve stared at him for a long moment; he looked weird again. “I guess so,” he said finally. “I don't know. It's pretty bad sometimes.”

Billy'd figured. He'd been figuring for a while. “What, you think that gate’s open again or something? You scared they’re gonna come after you?”

“I’m not _scared,_ ” Steve told him real annoyed; Billy tried not to grin. He didn't want Harrington to think he wasn't serious.

“El-or-Jane'd take care of 'em for you.”

“Maybe.”

“Got your monster weapon too.”

“You mean Jonathan’s?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Man, whatever.”

Steve squinted at him in the pale light of the sun coming up; he was still drunk. He was probably the saddest most pathetic drunk Billy'd ever met – he just cried about a girl he hadn't dated in a year. Billy thought about Tracey again for a second; there was no use crying. Steve squinted at him for a couple minutes. “I can never tell if your hair's fucking blonde or brown or red,” he said out of nowhere.

Billy was still a little high; he was going to have to make sure not to be high around Steve anymore. It made him feel all romantic and shit even though Steve was the most boring drunk and wanted the worst girl. “What color do you want it to be?” he asked.

Steve stared at him for a moment and then kind of laughed; Billy guessed he was making him feel like Mrs. Wheeler again. “Man, don't – do that.”

“Sorry. It's fucking brown.”

“I don't know,” Steve said. He was still looking at Billy and it made him feel uncomfortable now that the sun was coming out, too open or something.

He sat up; it was almost seven. He was tired as fuck even if Steve never slept. “Bet we can get Maxine to make us food.”

“Okay.” Steve sat up too.

 

Maxine did make them food, after she'd yelled her head off for about five minutes calling them perverts for peeping in her room at seven-thirty in the morning. Then she screamed some more about Steve seeing her with her hair in rollers. Steve and Billy sat in the kitchen like kids laughing at her; Maxine finally stormed into the kitchen _sans_ rollers. Her hair was still straight as a board.

“You look like crap,” she told Steve after about a full minute of glaring at him. Billy thought he looked all right.

“Thanks, Max.”

“Seriously? Those things didn't do shit to your clown hair?” Billy asked her.

Max slammed a frying pan on the stove in womanly hysteria. She was about at level five. “SHUT _UP_ , BILLY!” she yelled with amazing volume; Steve and Billy leaned back in slight actual terror. Harrington always thought Billy was exaggerating when he said Maxine was fucking terrifying before 8am. Max looked thoughtfully down at the frying pan, probably envisioning bludgeoning them to death with it. “I think I'm going to get a perm,” she announced.

“The fuck you are,” Billy said.

Maxine slammed another frying pan for no reason; she was just making eggs. “NEWS FLASH, YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!”

“Still ain't getting no perm, your mom'd kill you _and_ me.”

“She already said I can when I'm fifteen!”

“Are you fifteen?”

Max made a face at him; Steve was smiling at them arguing like usual. Somehow Max bitched her head off until Billy got up and ended up making the eggs which destroyed the fuckin' point of getting her up. She burned his toast too; truly women were useless.

“Should I help with something?” Steve asked.

“No, I've had your gross spaghetti,” Max said; even at 8:15 she was a true joy. “Just sit there and look pretty.”

“Oh, huh, thought I looked like crap.”

“I'm sure _someone_ here thinks you look pretty,” Max said; Billy made a face at her.

Susan came in clutching her robe; she looked surprised as hell to see Steve Harrington in their little kitchen at eight in the morning on New Year's Day. “Oh, hi Steve. Happy New Year!” Billy had to give her points; for all he and Max'd been hanging out with Steve lately, it'd nearly always been at his place.

“Hi Mrs. Hargrove,” Steve said like a gentleman; Billy and Max rolled their eyes at each other. She was still just Mayfield like Max. “Uh, Happy New Year. Sorry for – ah, being here so early and all.”

“Oh, that's okay, we're all dressed.” Billy and Max rolled their eyes at each other again.

Max collapsed at the table. “Billy made breakfast so it's actually edible for once.”

Susan just looked at her like she was being funny; Billy slammed Max's plate of eggs down in front of her. “ _So_ fucking rude to your mother,” he told her.

“ _Billy!_ ” Susan said at him swearing; Steve grinned at him. Max ignored him like usual.

“Mom, I can still get a perm when I'm fifteen, right?”

Susan looked surprised. “Excuse me? I never said that.”

“WHAT? YES YOU DID, RIGHT AT THIS TABLE.” Max started going off in her womanly hysteria: it kicked up to a level seven right away. Susan was ignoring her and making coffee; Steve leaned back in his chair in slight actual terror again. Billy gave him a plate too. After a moment Steve said over Max's yelling, “Well, happy 1987.”

“Yeah, happy 1987.” Billy ate his eggs.

* * *

 

The week went on. School started back up on Monday; Max and Billy managed to drag themselves into the high school only two periods late. Billy looked at his detention slip and put it in his backpack. He had basketball tryouts at five on Thursday anyway.

At work he and Hank hammered out his new schedule for when the season started and Hank gave him his own actual set of keys to the shop. He said Billy could come in and work on stuff whenever he wanted; Billy guessed Hank actually really trusted him and shit now. His own keys. He'd have to try not to fuck it up.

That same night Harrington came around and stuck his head through Billy's bedroom window again; Billy yelled his head off once again even though luckily he wasn't in his underwear this time. It was just on principle because Steve was fucking weird.

Steve ignored him yelling. “Oh my god, you look so cute reading your little book for school,” he said. He was grinning like a piece of shit and as usual Billy lamented his life. He managed not to yell his head off some more; he was going to wake up Max and Susan. “Look, I got Dustin and Rebecca in my car, I'm taking them to a movie out in Eastgate. Do you wanna come with us?”

It was after ten o'clock. “Think Max's asleep already.”

Steve stared at him. “I'm not asking Max, I'm asking _you,_ ” he said all patient and shit like Billy was dumb.

“Oh. Yeah, I'll see a movie.” Billy closed _The Awakening_ and got up off his bed.

They went out to Eastgate and ended up seeing a horror movie called _The Hitcher_ ; it had some guy in it who Susan always squawked that Billy looked so much like to Maxine's disgust and amusement. Susan was always saying he and Max looked like some kids on the TV. She was real cute like that. She was nice enough even if she was still a dumb bitch who'd married Billy's dad.

It was mostly couples there at the movies and Billy was certainly not feeling weird about that; the only couple he and Harrington were ever going to be was a couple of assholes. Anyway Steve and Billy got a kick out of Henderson trying to stretch and put his arm around Rebecca; he kept spilling his popcorn everywhere and he did it three times. She kept laughing at him. She seemed like a pretty okay girl honestly; really she didn't talk too much but she knew what to say in two seconds to get Henderson to shut the fuck up. Basically no one ever could get Henderson to shut the fuck up; it was amazing, truly and deeply.

After the movie Steve parked out in front of Tracey-Rebecca's house to drop her off first – Billy was gonna have to stop calling her that in his head if she was really gonna be hanging around Henderson all the time. She only lived about two blocks away from Billy, maybe why Steve'd decided to come and get him. Either way it meant she was poor as shit too like he and Max were. Billy guessed Dustin didn't care about that. That was nice because some people cared about that shit.

Henderson got out to walk his girl up to the door. He held his hand out and helped her out of Steve's car like a fuckin' gentleman too; Billy actually felt proud for a split second. He and Steve leaned over against the window like a cartoon to watch and see if they'd finally fucking kiss; unfortunately Henderson and his girl went around to the side-door of the house so they couldn't see shit anyways. Billy realized he was leaning way too close to Steve and sat back in his seat.

The seconds ticked by. “Ho-ly shit, okay, they're definitely mackin',” Billy said.

“He's gonna be so fucking annoying now.”

“ _Now?_ ” Billy said incredulously; Steve laughed. He was still in his white shirt and tie from work with his hair kinda slicked back and he truly looked like he'd been chaperoning them all.

After a couple minutes Henderson came floating back around from the side of the house like he was on cloud nine. He floated on cloud nine all the way back to Steve's BMW. He opened up the rear door and laid down in the backseat; once again he looked like a Wookie in love. Then he grinned and put his baseball cap over his face.

Steve put the car in gear and started driving and no one said anything for a couple minutes. Steve was biting his lip; he looked like he was about to lose his shit laughing.

Finally Billy couldn't take it anymore. “Kid!” he said. “The fuck! Did you get it or not?”

Dustin pulled his baseball cap off his face. “I KISSED HER AND SHE PUT HER TONGUE IN MY MOUTH AND THEN I PUT MY TONGUE IN HER MOUTH AND WE TOTALLY KISSED,” he yelled.

“Oh, my god, man,” Steve said in what Billy felt was a combination of pride and disgust. Billy started laughing.

“IT WAS SO AWESOME!” Dustin shrieked his head off.

“Okay, okay, be cool,” Steve was telling him.

“I AM COOL, STEVE!” Dustin screamed like an insane person. “ _STEVE!_ I FELT THE ELECTRICITY!”

“Oh, my god, okay — “

“Took you long enough,” Billy told him.

Henderson was clutching his baseball cap up against his chest like a girl and laying in the backseat with his sneakers up against the window. He still had that dopey smile on his face; he looked about ready to pass out. Billy looked back at him and couldn't fucking stop laughing. “True love takes time, my mom says it grows like a rose vine,” Henderson said.

“Jesus, kid, that is actually really beautiful,” Billy told him; Henderson had him feeling those real emotions. Henderson grinned at him. “You gotta use that line on the girl, what else you got?”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again. He turned POWER 99 up on them.

 

Tuesday Billy worked at the shop til past ten; Wednesday Max came boarding into the garage at around six like a shithead and Hank told Billy he could go early. “Good luck tomorrow, kid,” he said; Billy felt surprised he remembered about the basketball tryouts.

He and Max headed on down to the diner to meet Steve and the rest of the creepy kids. It was just Steve and Sinclair there so far and Max gave Sinclair a kiss on the cheek (Billy heaved his guts up internally, very nearly externally too). Steve did not give Billy a kiss on the cheek; he gave Billy a major den dad look as they sat down.

“Man, can you fucking stop putting Tommy Hall's brother in a trash can?” Steve asked him. “I freaking _know him_ and he is gonna get his whole family to kick your ass, they've got about eighty cousins out in South Bend.”

“Why'd you know about that already?” Billy asked suspiciously. Harrington'd probably came here right from work and Henderson and Byers weren't around yet; they'd been the only ones at the lockers today. Sometimes it really did feel like Harrington was his actual guardian angel or some shit, but he couldn't actually be following Billy around all the time.

“I have my sources,” Harrington said mysteriously; Billy and Max and Sinclair stared at him. “Oh, my god. Dustin has double Bio with the sophomores on Monday and Wednesday, he always calls me on my lunch hour in case he gets nervous.”

“Oh, my god,” said Maxine too in a great joy. Billy was pretty sure he was making a face.

“What?” Steve glared at Billy some more. “Uh, Dustin said the guys didn't even do anything to Will today.”

Billy felt grumpy; he didn't know why Harrington wanted to spoil all his fun at school. He could put whoever he wanted into a trashcan for Byers #1, whenever he wanted! “Uh,” he said, imitating Steve, “they looked like they was _going to._ ”

“Jesus.” Steve was rolling his eyes.

The diner door opened and Henderson and Byers and Wheeler Jr finally came in; Byers looked shy and queer like always and Henderson had that dopey grin on his face again. He'd probably been at the library feeling Tracey-Rebecca up against the comic book racks. Wheeler Jr in comparison looked like a huge douchebag such as usual. Billy felt surprised to see him; he guessed usually Mike was with Elijane after school.

The creepy kids started chattering on like usual; they really overwhelmed their waitress today. Steve asked him over the din of kids squabbling, “You doing anything tomorrow?”

“Got basketball tryouts.”

“Oh, right,” Steve said. “Don't worry, you'll make the team.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah I know that already.”

“Hey, do you want me to come and watch you?” Steve asked him like a den dad; next to him Billy could sense Maxine making a face.

“It don't matter.”

Henderson stopped yelling at Byers about their English class. “Steve, you already graduated! Why would you come back, that's creepy,” he said. Steve made a face too. “Don't worry Billy, I'm going to be there for you!”

“No no no, I don't need ya there for me Henderson,” Billy told him quickly.

“Me and Will made a sign for you, do you want us to bring it?”

Jesus Christ they were both queers; it didn't matter that Henderson had a girl. They'd probably made it with fuckin' crayons. “No I don't want you to bring a fuckin' _sign_ – “

Max laughed her ass off. “I think you should save that for his first game,” she told Henderson all sarcastic-like. Henderson gave her a thumbs-up.

“Henderson, I swear to god, you ruin my season with your bullshit I will kick your ass and put _you_ in like twenty trash cans – “

“Yeah, like he'd fit, you'd _need_ twenty,” Sinclair said; he and Wheeler Jr and Byers laughed their asses off.

“Hey! Guys!” Steve said sharply.

“YOU GUYS ARE _SUCH ASSHOLES,_ ” Dustin yelled. “I'VE BEEN SLIMMING! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW!”

“Oh my god, we all have girlfriends,” Wheeler Jr said. He was making one of his douchebag faces.

“NOT WILL! YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!”

Max made an interesting sound into her soda; Billy went deaf dumb and blind at her horrible implication of even doing anything.

“Shut up!” Wheeler Jr got all defensive in two seconds. “ _You_ don't even do anything!”

“I HAD MY TONGUE IN HER MOUTH!”

“Uhh! I had my tongue in her mouth!” Sinclair imitated him; Wheeler Jr laughed.

“Guys!” said Steve again.

Henderson was yapping away. Billy was still deaf and dumb and blind; it took him a couple minutes to realize that Dustin was talking to him. “What?”

“I said, you're probably had the most girlfriends, right?”

“Jesus,” Billy said. Slowly his sight was coming back to him. “Out of you little faggots? I'm sure.”

Sinclair and Wheeler Jr made a face at him; Byers and Henderson didn't look too bothered. “So, but why don't you have a girlfriend _now?_ ” Henderson asked him all curious; Billy lamented his life. “You could _probably_ date any senior you wanted.”

“Uh, highly debatable,” said Wheeler Jr like a shitbag. “Nancy says – “

Henderson ignored him. “Who cares about Nancy? Definitely any junior! Billy! Did you really sleep with Janice Thompson?”

Billy stared. “Who's the fuck's Janice Thompson?”

“I told you he didn't!” Max yapped at Dustin.

“Who the fuck's Janice Thompson?”

“She is this junior who is telling everyone that she slept with you,” Henderson informed him. “Apparently you are very mysterious this year, it drives the girls wild. They have all these theories about you.”

“Oh, my god,” Billy said; Max and Harrington started laughing at him. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means you don't talk to anyone except me and Will, you are like our protector this year,” Henderson informed him some more. Truly Billy felt assaulted; he twirled his necklace around his fingers. Protector!

“I fucking talk to people.” It wasn't his fault that everyone in Hawkins was boring as shit.

“No, apparently you just sleep with them,” Maxine said; she was cracking her shit up.

“So did you not sleep with Janice?” Henderson asked him. He sounded disappointed. “Okay, what about, what about Kimberly Harris? I _know_ you didn't sleep with Nicole Bradford because she said you took her out on Monday night, I told her you were at the movies with me and Steve and Rebecca!”

Billy was pretty sure his mind was exploding. “Henderson, you goddamn Wookie, how the fuck do you talk to all these girls?”

“They're in our study hall!” Henderson yapped like Billy was dumb.

“ _What?_ ” Billy said.

“How do you not notice all the hot girls in our study hall?” Henderson was smiling at him like he was real amusing.

Steve was still laughing at him; Billy was pretty sure Steve'd been the only person at school he'd ever noticed. “This is such a good night,” Steve said.

“Oh my god, this is so fucked up.”

“Billy!” Henderson yapped. “Did you do it or not!”

“No, I didn't fucking sleep with anyone!”

Henderson looked disappointed because he was a creepy kid; Billy scowled at him. Usually he didn't care about rumors but he felt kind of creeped out. Definitely back in California no one'd ever cared enough to make up some lie about him fucking them. Jesus all the girls here in Hawkins really were a bunch of dumb cows.

“Also some guy from Eastgate wants to beat you up I heard yesterday, he used to go out with Rachel Evangelista,” Henderson went on.

“Oh shit.” Billy sat forward in the booth. “Okay, I actually did sleep with her.”

“WHAT?” Max yelled her head off as Henderson gasped and said, “How did her tits look?”

“DUSTIN!” said four out of four other creepy kids and also Steve.

“What? What?”

“Dude, you _just_ yelled all about your stupid girlfriend – “

“Oh my god, my devotion to Rebecca is unalterable, please don't tell her, it is _just_ a question! It's a point of reference! It's for science!”

Maxine made a horrible face. “What branch of science is that?” she asked. “Oh, science of your _prick,_ you mongoloid!”

“ _Max!_ ” Steve gasped like Mr. Mom; he was fucking adorable.

“Ain't she got a mouth on her?”

Max ignored them and slugged Billy on the shoulder; she almost knocked over his soda that the waitress had just brought over. Billy was sure their poor waitress loved hearing about his fake sex life. Max was glaring up a storm. “WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH RACHEL, YOU DOUCHEBAG? I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SOMEONE!” She slugged him again, two times.

“Oh my fucking god, don't assault me!”

Max glared up an even bigger storm. Henderson was still going about boobs; Steve leaned with his elbows on the table and looked at Billy. He looked real interested. “What? I didn't know you liked someone.”

“Chill your roll, it was like back in September,” Billy told Max. Just what he'd always wanted, to talk to his kid sister about his sex life, lack of sex life really.

“BILLY! Do you _really_ think you should be doing that?” Maxine asked like she was his goddamn mom. She even scowled and crossed her arms all imperious-like.

“Oh my god, it was one fucking time, lasted about four minutes.”

Max made a face like he was killing her. “GOD! _PLEASE_ DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT.”

“No, tell us about it!” said Sinclair and Henderson.

“YOU CAVEMEN!” Max gave Sinclair a real hard kick under the table.

“Hahahaha!” said Billy; he got such a kick out of her being disgusted by him. “Okay, first off, she was so – “

“SHUT UP, BILLY!”

Steve was still leaning on the table like a kid. “Bills, who do you like?”

“What? Don't like anyone,” Billy lied.

“Come on, I won't tell anyone.”

“MIND YOUR BUSINESS, STEVE!” Max was yelling her head off. “SHE DOESN'T LIVE AROUND HERE!”

“Je-sus, don't scream at me.”

“Her tits were all right,” Billy told Henderson; he looked heartened. He let Billy have most of his fries.

* * *

 

After detention the next day Billy had his basketball tryouts. Down by the gym he found Maxine skulking around with her ratty skateboard. Jesus she really needed a new board; probably he should have gotten her that instead of her stupid camera. Then again in about another year she'd be driving anyway.

“I'm keeping watch so Dustin doesn't burst in and embarrass you,” Max told him. Billy felt touched, even though she'd screamed at him for two hours last night about how he was a giant slut while they'd been watching _Theater of Blood_ together.

“Thanks, I mean it,” he said. Max grabbed her camera from around her neck and snapped a picture of him; Billy flipped her off and went into the gym.

In the gym there was a gaggle of girls giggling and talking to him and Billy kind of felt like a piece of meat; he didn't know if this was the bunch that apparently wanted to sleep with him or not. Normally he didn't mind feeling like a piece of meat but it was a bit much. Anyway he did the drills and the tryouts and made the team like he knew he would; it really wasn't much of a competition. He was good at basketball and football but he'd never be caught dead on the football team, especially here. Anyway basketball was only half as fun without Steve to knock around.

Max was still waiting for him at seven once all the guys trickled out of the gym. Billy'd taken a shower and his t-shirt was clinging to his back; they stopped at his locker so he could get his jacket out. “You coulda came in.”

“I didn't want to _embarrass you,_ ” Max said like she didn't fucking embarrass him Monday through Friday at his locker squawking about her lunch money. “You were pretty good, you only knocked four people over!” Max told him, his little cheerleader.

“Thanks, I was tryin' to be nice.” He didn't feel the need to tell her that the only guy he really wanted to knock around was Harrington, who'd gone off and graduated on him.

Max bounced alongside him as they went down the hallway. “You don't have work, right? Did you _know_ Hank is Jewish and didn't even celebrate Christmas?! We should get him something for Hanukkah next year. Are we going to the diner? I want to meet Lucas there. I'm sure _Steve_ will be there too waiting to hear about all your free-throws.”

Jesus she was talkin' a lot. “Yeah we can go to the diner,” Billy said. “You fuckin' kids are gonna make me fat eating out all the time.”

“Uh, no one forces you to get double fries!” Billy ignored her; he needed double fries and then some of Henderson's too to put up with the pain of them all gabbing away.

Billy drove them down to the diner; Max gave him a whole dollar for gas money and Billy tried not to be emotional over it. Max ignored him being a shitbag. She leaned out the window and took a picture of Joyce Byers closing up the general store. Joyce waved at them so Max leaned over and honked the horn.

“Outta my space!” Billy told her. When they got to the diner and walked in Steve was at their usual table talking to Nancy Wheeler; Max instantly started scowling up a storm. Billy felt like scowling too but unlike Maxine he had some goddamn decorum. Not a lot but a little at times; he thought he was getting better.

“ _Jesus. Christ_ ,” Maxine huffed like Henderson. “Why is _she_ here?”

Billy felt surprised; he hadn't thought she had a problem with Nancy. Then he remembered their stupid bet that Max thought she could win; he could see George Michael in her eyes.

“Je-sus, you dickhead. Can you tone it down?”

“Uh, _no,_ I can't!” said Max like a huge brat. She seized Billy's arm and dragged him over to the table. “HI STEVE!” she said all loud and obvious like a gremlin.

Steve looked up at them. “Oh! Hey guys,” he said. “Lucas is at the arcade, I was waitin' for you.”

“Billy only knocked over four people at basketball tryouts, he is _really good_ this year,” Max told Steve.

“Hey, that's great, man.” Steve smiled at him and Billy tried not to feel like a huge girl. It was nice or whatever when people smiled at you sometimes. Better if they looked like Steve Harrington.

Nancy was standing and holding a big bag of takeout food; she looked amused. She looked preppy and rich as usual too. Not as preppy and rich as Harrington with his button-down shirt and tie for work but still. In comparison Max and Billy both had holes in their jeans and looked like Garbage Pail Kids. Billy felt like he was in a _Highlights_ magazine: _What's Wrong With This Picture?_

“Hi Max,” Nancy said. She hesitated for a split second. “Hey Billy.”

Max gave her a nasty look. “ _Hey._ ” Billy didn't say anything. Steve looked amused too which was great. They all stood there for a moment with Max scowling her head off and sending out her trademark superglare.

“Okay then!” Nancy said. She was smiling at the warm welcome from the Hargrove-Mayfields. “Well. Um. I have to go, I have Mike waiting in the car.” Billy imagined Wheeler Jr strapped into the trunk like a cave-troll. She looked down at Steve with her big terrible doe eyes. “Um, thanks Steve. I'll see you around.”

“Bye Nance.”

Max scowled up an even bigger storm as Nancy left, then she collapsed in the booth across from Harrington. “What's she thanking you for, did you buy her food?” she demanded. Billy sighed in his head for a thousand years.

Steve had his ‘Max-is-amusing’ face on; he probably thought she was getting a crush on him. God if he knew. “Don't worry, we were just talking.”

“So I see.” Angrily Max ate some of Steve's fries; Steve looked even more amused.

“Max, you're being fucking rude,” Billy told her. He was still standing there like a Garbage Pail Kid.

Max scowled. “Do you know what _I_ think is rude?” she asked; Billy sighed in his head for a thousand more years. He could tell she was getting ready to go off. “ _I_ think it's rude to walk around in Hathaway's leading your _ex-boyfriend_ on! I think – ”

“Okay, okay, that is not what's happening,” Steve said. “That's really sweet of you, Max, I can take care of myself.”

“I don't think you can,” Max said wisely; Billy was pretty sure she was thinking about her Care Bears blanket which was still on the roof. “You know, Steve, you have other options.”

Harrington looked delighted at her surly tone; he was getting a kick out of her. “Do I?”

“Okay, okay,” Billy said too. “What are you doing, you eating all of Harrington's food or am I taking you to the arcade?”

“Don't you want to get something?” Steve asked.

“Not hungry.” Seeing Nancy'd made him want to blow chunks everywhere honestly; he didn't even feel jazzed up about basketball anymore.

“Okay. Well do you want to hang out or something?”

“I guess so,” Billy said like a sulky bitch. Steve and Max hammered out the details; Max was such a fucking meddler. She told Billy that he could go out to Steve's for two hours and reminded him to pick her up at the arcade; her board was busting down again. “Don't have _too much_ fun,” she said like a huge gremlin.

Steve looked like she was being funny. “Uh, okay, we won't.” He got into his BMW and Billy followed him to his house. He still felt like a sulky bitch; each time he hung out with Harrington it got more and more dangerous. When they got to his huge fancy house Steve still looked amused. “Do you want to watch TV or something? There's one of your horror movie marathons on channel five.”

“Whatever you want.”

“Do you want something to eat?”

“M'fine.”

“Okay.” Harrington had a weird look on his face; he looked amused and something else. Billy didn't know what he looked like. He was gonna have to stop acting like he knew what Steve looked liked. “Thanks for hanging out with me,” Steve said like always. Jesus he made Billy feel weird as hell.

They watched _Blood of Dracula;_ there were a lot of _of Blood_ or _Blood of_ movies on the TV this week it seemed. Steve made a bunch of faces and groaned at all the gore but Billy didn't really comment on them like usual or make fun of him. “Are you okay?” Steve asked him like a mom or a girlfriend. Billy wanted to grab him and pin him down against the couch.

“Yeah.”

“Are you worried about basketball or something? You'll make the team.”

“Already made the team.”

“Oh. Okay. Hey, that’s great.” Steve stared at him like a Froot Loop. He said, “Uh, Max was something else at the diner.”

“Yeah, she's a piece of work.”

“I thought she liked Nancy.”

Billy didn't say anything for a while; he felt like a sulky bitch again. Who liked Nancy? Then he said, “Thought you were over her bullshit.”

Steve looked at him; he started smiling. “Oh, my god, are you _jealous_?”

“No,” lied Billy. “I don't feel like listenin’ to you crying about her in a week or so.”

“Oh my god, you're so jealous,” Steve said. “Wow! I'm not going to cry, we were just talking. Don't worry, you're still my best guy.” He made a stupid face at Billy.

Jesus Christ but he was annoying; Billy guessed he wanted to pin him against the couch in a couple'a ways. “Man, what the fuck are you even talking to her for? What's she possibly got to say to you?”

Steve looked surprised. “Uh, we're still friends,” he said. “I've known Nancy for years, we still talk.”

“You don't talk, you fuckin' fall all over yourself over her,” Billy told him.

“Uh, no I don't.” Now he looked kinda pissed; he was getting that familiar big wrinkle between his eyebrows. “Wow, you really think I can't take care of myself? You and Max talk about me?” Billy didn't say anything; Jesus he didn't know how Billy and Max talked about him. “Oh my god, look, if your old girlfriend showed up here, you'd be doing the exact same thing.”

Steve didn't ever need to talk about Tracey; he _really_ didn't need to ever talk about Tracey. Billy should have never told him about Tracey. “That's not the fucking same thing,” Billy said. “She didn't fucking _cheat_ on me, fuckface.”

“Okay, okay. I didn't mean – “

“Been a goddamn year and you're still fucked up about this girl, I'm fucking tired of watching you shit your pants over her.”

“It's not like that,” Steve said. He looked massively annoyed; it was a good look on him. He ran his hands through his crazy hair and stared at Billy. “What's your deal, why do you hate Nance so much? I don't hate her.”

Billy felt like a goddamn moron — Steve usually made him feel like a goddamn moron. He felt like screaming _I HATE HER ‘CAUSE I WANT YOU_. “Just think you can do better than her.”

“Um, _yeah_ , I know that.” Steve still looked annoyed. “It's not a big deal, you don't need to play the shit-on-Nancy game every time I – “

“Look, you don't need someone who'll treat you like that,” Billy said like a goddamn moron and a goddamn girl; Steve was good at making him sound like that. Billy didn't know what it was. He could never keep his fucking mouth shut around Harrington; Harrington made him crazy. It was like he was wired to some part of Billy's brain labeled 'FUCKING DUMBASS' and every time Billy saw him it'd fucking go off.

Steve laughed at him; clearly he thought Billy was a big goddamn joke, as well as a moron and a girl. He was pressing the FUCKING DUMBASS button. “Oh yeah?” he said. He was still fucking laughing at him. “What exactly do I need, Billy? You gonna give it to me?”

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah, like you want to, right?”

Billy stared at him. He wondered if he knew; he couldn't know. Billy stood up and got off the couch. “Okay, I'm not doing this with you.” He slid his backpack over his shoulder.

“Oh my god, it's a fucking joke, don't freak out,” Steve said.

“Whatever. I gotta pick up my sister.”

Steve rolled his head back on the couch and looked at him upside down as Billy went past him; he reached out and grabbed his arm. Mind you this was a new year and all; Billy was trying not to kiss people he didn't care about and he was trying not to punch Steve in the fucking face again. He'd managed last year.

Steve had him trapped with his hand around Billy's wrist though. “Man, are you serious? You say shit like that to me all the time. Chill out.”

Billy was pretty sure he'd never implied that Steve wanted to fuck him before. “Lemme go.” He shook his arm; Steve let him go.

“Are you serious?” Steve sat on the couch and watched him walk to the front door. “Oh my god, Bills, are you seriously fuckin' mad at me now?”

“I'm not mad at you, I'm not doing this shit with you.”

“You don't have to actually leave – “

“I gotta pick up Max,” Billy said again.

Steve kept looking at him. “Okay, but are you going to Will's house on Saturday?”

Billy didn't know why the hell Steve thought he'd be going to the Byers' house; he guessed the Creepy Kid Club was doing something. “I'll think about it.” He left Steve sitting on his couch and staring after him.

 

He didn't say too much when he picked up Max; he was a couple minutes early but not too early. Max yapped on for half the ride home, then she fell silent too. Usually they both knew when the other was pissed off. The difference was sometimes Billy fucked with her even more when she was pissed; Max usually left him alone.

They got home and watched the rest of the horror movie marathon together; Max was stuffing her face with popcorn like a gross gremlin child. Billy watched the movie and tried not to think about Harrington. Didn't really work but you had to give yourself points for trying.

Billy's old man came home for the weekend; he surprised the hell out of Billy the next night when Billy came in after work and then a couple hours later he surprised the hell out of Max too when she got in. She slammed the door too hard when she saw him and Neil told her to watch herself; Maxine looked scared out of her goddamn mind and dashed off to her room.

Later after Neil and Susan went to bed Max and Billy snuck back out into the living room to watch the TV; Billy lit up a cigarette and Max opened the window near him without missing a beat. She told him she'd been out with Sinclair all afternoon and had only decided about ten seconds before she'd opened the front door not to bring him in with her.

Billy stared at her and didn’t even get mad; he felt surprised as hell that he wasn’t getting mad. By this point he was well-versed in Max’s special brand of bullshit and her love of the darkies he guessed.

“Max, you can't fuckin' do that shit,” he told her anyway.“You can't bring him around here.”

Maxine looked like a surly redheaded stormcloud in the light of the TV. “I know that!” she yapped.

“Okay, you know that, you keep doin' it though.”

“Because it's not _fair!_ ”

“Why the hell you want to bring him over anyway?” Billy asked her. “It ain’t like there's shit to do here, we don't got a Nintendo.” Sinclair was kind of a rich bitch too; if Billy were Max he'd never leave Lucas's place.

Max scowled even more. “He's my friend! He's my – my _boyfriend_! I should be able to bring someone here if I want!” Jesus he didn't know how she could fuckin' scream at him without even raising her voice.

“Look, I don't care where you bring him. I don't care what you do,” Billy reminded her. Maybe he cared a little. “My old man ever catches you guys – “

“I know, I know! Jesus! I didn't think he'd be home!” Max scowled away at the TV. “I won’t do it again, can you just shut the hell up?”

Billy blew some smoke at her. “Watch your fuckin' language,” he said.

All in all that was the only incident with Neil; Saturday Billy and Max booked it out of the house real early. They fucked around at the arcade until Sinclair and Henderson showed up with Steve, then they did end up going over to the Byers' house. Billy was still refusing to play that dragon shit with the kids but they managed to rope him into a game of Monopoly around noon; Jonathan came out of his bedroom at one point and stared at Billy laughing his ass off at Henderson getting himself thrown into jail for the third time. Billy ignored him; playing Monopoly was pretty much the only way he'd ever get to be the richest kid on the block.

Jonathan stood staring at them for a while; he and Harrington exchanged their awkward ‘Hey man’s like usual. Billy was still ignoring them. He didn't know why Harrington didn't just knock Byers #2 the fuck out; really Billy'd do it for him but he was utilizing his decorum again and all. Henderson was squawking and yapping and going on that he didn’t know how Billy could be so low as to cheat at Monopoly; Billy cackled and moved his piece on the board.

The Creepy Kids were at their total worst because it was the weekend; they were loud as shit and Billy didn't even end up having to talk to Harrington that much. Anyway he was on his best behavior so that Little Byers would keep bringing him snacks; Maxine nearly rolled her goddamn eyes out of her head at Will bringing Billy two sodas.

Steve followed them out as they were leaving; he was going to drive Henderson and Sinclair home. Wheeler Jr'd already left on his bike to go bug the Chief and Elijane.

He followed Billy and Max over to the Camaro. Dustin and Lucas were yelling their heads off at each other like usual over by his car.

“Hey, man, are we cool?” he asked Billy.

“Sure, whatever,” Billy said. Max was giving him a weird look and Steve kept staring at him. “Yeah, we're cool, all right?”

“Okay.” Steve kept standing there and staring; Billy didn't know what he wanted. He looked like he wanted to say something. He stood there staring until Henderson started yelling his head off for him. “Okay. I guess see you guys later.”

Max stared at him too as they got into the car. “What was that about?”

“Mind your business,” Billy mimicked her; she scowled at him and put on POWER 99 to hurt him the most.

 

Sunday morning Billy's old man left early to go back on the road; he woke Billy up at about seven AM slamming the front door shut. Billy laid in bed and listened to his dad's Sedan start up and then drive away; he guessed he and Max were safe for a while again to be fags and nigger-lovers.

It was still pretty early and he figured he'd fall back asleep. He'd been having some kinda dream about Steve – usually Billy didn't have dreams really, unless they were horrible ones about his mother; this one'd been real nice though even though he barely remembered it. He barely remembered it but he'd been hard when he woke up. That was a thing that'd been happening lately like he was goddamn twelve years old again.

The thing was that even though he loved to say a bunch of shit to gross out Maxine, he really didn't jack off that much or anything; he never had. First off he'd never really needed to. There was always some girl who wanted to go and get off with him, and anyway after he'd been with Tracey for a real long time, almost two years. Even so he'd really just never done it that much, not like the guys at school or in the locker room talked about, joking about whacking off three or four times a day.

Wasn't like he'd never done it. Usually he didn't feel like it; he never had nobody to think of while he was doing it. He'd never been crazy for any movie stars or anything. He'd never even been crazy about Tracey that way. He'd just always thought there was something wrong with him; maybe he just wasn't that way for anyone.

He was that way for Steve though. Jesus he was that way for Steve. He was such a goddamn moron. He couldn't believe it'd taken him over eighteen years to realize he wanted to jerk off to a guy. One guy really. Just one.

He was a goddamn moron and he was also horny as hell; it'd been a while again. Billy put his hand down his boxers and got to work. He was trying to remember his dream from earlier but he couldn't; he guessed he'd have to make up some new shit.

It wasn't going to take too long; it never did. Jesus Billy could come like a rocket going off just thinking about Steve touching him for one minute or whispering some romantic shit into his ear. Afterwards he'd feel all bad and dirty about it but it was so fuckin' good while he was doing it.

He didn't really feel dirty about Steve. Really he didn't; he'd gotten over that pretty fast. He fucking liked him too much. You couldn't feel dirty about Steve Harrington; he was too fucking pretty. Usually he felt bad after because if Steve ever knew. If Steve ever knew. He'd probably never fuckin' talk to him again and Billy needed him to fuckin' talk to him. God he was the only one.

He wrapped his hand tighter around his cock; it almost kinda hurt but that was okay sometimes. He thought about Steve's very punchable face. God if he could get one minute with him. Two minutes. Okay five would be good. He thought about Steve saying. _Bills, who do you like?_ Hahaha. He'd never know.

Maybe he knew; he couldn't know. He thought about saying _Fuck you_ and Steve saying _Yeah like you want to?_ ; it made his whole body flush for a second. He didn't know if he actually wanted to; he didn't know if he could do that to a guy. Okay he could do it if Steve wanted it. He probably could. Jesus he was gonna come in two seconds. He bit his lip really hard; when he did come he wasn't even thinking about fucking Steve or anything but just his huge stupid eyes looking at Billy.

He couldn't breathe for a couple seconds after. Finally he could and he took his hand out of his boxers. He could feel his heart pounding away in his chest and in his ears; he closed his eyes and sighed. He wiped his hand off on his bed. Okay Maxine was definitely not allowed on his bed ever again.

Billy laid on his bed for a couple minutes; he just laid there. He thought he had it pretty bad. Really he'd never had it so bad; it was the _Sixteen Candles_ shit. He laid in bed and thought about that for a couple minutes. He didn't know what to do with himself. He was about to get up and go shower or something when he heard his window slide open. Billy stared at his ceiling because he couldn't believe his goddamn life.

It was Steve sticking his head in through his window about four minutes after Billy'd fuckin' jerked off to him – why would it be anyone else. Once again Billy's life was a movie; it was a fucking horror movie actually. Steve said, “Hey, are you awake?”

Billy felt like a rat in a cage. He snapped up into a sitting position. “Man, what the FUCK are you doing here?” Jesus he'd just fucking gotten off.

“Wow, okay, you're not a morning person.” Steve was staring at him like a chipmunk with his head through the window. His expression went from amused to unsure in about two seconds; Billy hadn't yelled really at him like that in a while. “Are you okay?”

“No I'm not okay.” It felt like there was an alarm going off in his head; Steve was too close. Billy got out of bed and crossed the room to the window. “You can't be here right now, man.”

Steve looked kind of alarmed now too. “Uh, okay, what happened? Is your dad here or something?”

“Nothing fucking happened.” Shot off onto my wall thinking about you, the normal stuff. Also once again he was in his underwear in front of Steve; maybe he'd came over purely for the show. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What? Uh, I wanted to see you,” Steve said like fucking saying something like that wasn't a big deal. He started coming through the window; Billy shoved him back out. “Ow, what the hell!”

“Dude, it is fucking eight in the morning, you cannot keep doing this shit!”

“I – sorry?” Steve said like a retard. “Okay, I'm, I'm sorry.” He stared at Billy with his big doe eyes and now he looked uncertain too; it pissed Billy the fuck off. “Hey, are you really still mad at me? I thought you said we were cool.”

“Look, we're not cool, you can't keep climbing into my window like a fucking faggot,” Billy told him. “You know how bad my goddamn dad would kill me if he saw this shit? Do you ever think with your fuckin' brain?”

“Yeah, I – Jesus, look, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinkin'. I just wanted to – “

“Don't care about your sorry,” Billy said before Steve could say his _I wanted to see you_ bullshit again. Jesus he was a piece of work saying that shit. “Don't care about your bullshit. What'd you come over here at fuckin' eight in the morning for, you need me to hold your fuckin' hand again as you cry about the Wheeler bitch some more?”

“Jesus,” Steve said again. “What the hell's your problem?”

“Uh, you're my fuckin' problem, princess,” Billy told him; it was the truth after all.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Don't call me that.”

Fucking Christ he felt overwhelmed: if Steve'd came over ten minutes earlier. If he'd seen him. Well everybody whacked off but if he'd seen him. Billy couldn't handle it. It was too much; he needed Harrington to get the fuck away from him.

He was getting madder and madder looking at Steve. He didn't know why he was getting mad. He guessed Harrington was used to just waltzing around wherever he wanted and expecting everyone to drop their shit for him at eight in the morning on a Sunday when they should be whacking off; he was not gonna do that to Billy though.

“Why the _fuck_ are you here?” he asked Steve again, then went on before Steve could answer. “Shit, you need to see me every day or something? Max and I don't need your goddamn charity, you fuckin' retard.”

“Oh my _god_ , what are you even talking about?” Steve demanded. “What the fuck's – did something happen?” He actually tried to come through the window again; Billy shoved him again and he went sprawling into the gravel of the backyard. It felt good to shove him. Maybe that's what Billy needed to do all along. “WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.”

Billy leaned out the window. “I just _fucking_ told you you can't come in here, Harrington.”

Steve was picking himself up off the ground; he didn't even say anything for a couple seconds. He was making a great face, it was even more than the _just-ate-dogshit_ face. “What the fuck's your problem?”

“Jesus, are you actually fucking stupid?” Billy asked him; Steve stared. “I just said you're my goddamn problem! I'm fucking tired of you coming around here with your bullshit! Tired of listening to your bullshit, you never shut the fuck up, man! You're worse than a goddamn woman!”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Yeah, right, like you want me to, right?” Billy said mockingly; Steve just looked at him for a second and it made him feel real weird. “Look, you know what, I don't – I'm tired of your bullshit, Harrington. This _whole thing_ is fucking bullshit, I'm tired of it. _You're_ bullshit, actually.”

Steve kept staring at him; he didn't say anything again for a couple seconds. His eyes looked like black fire in his head; he looked all hurt and shit. Even though Billy was pissed off too he could see that.“You – what?” he said finally.

“I _SAID_ YOU'RE BULLSHIT!” Billy yelled at him. “I said you and me, this thing, whatever the fuck you think it is, is total bullshit! I'm tired of your shit, man! Leave me the _fuck_ alone!”

Once more Steve just stared at him for a couple seconds; to Billy it still felt like he was in a goddamn horror movie and this was the climax where Steve fuckin' killed him or whatever. Steve didn't look like the Steve he'd been palling around with the last couple months, the guy who laughed at him when he threatened Henderson over his french fries or who he leaned back in actual slight terror with over Maxine. He just looked like the Steve who'd hated Billy's guts all last year; maybe that was for the best.

Steve's lip curled up. “FUCK YOU!” he screamed. He stalked forward real fast and shoved at Billy through his window. Billy wasn't expecting it and stumbled back a few steps. It made him laugh.

“There ya go, Harrington!”

“FUCK YOU!” Steve just said again; truly he looked like he wanted to spit on Billy. “YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER – FUCK YOU!” He turned away and started storming off out the side of the backyard.

Billy leaned out his window again. “Don't fucking come back here bothering me!” he yelled after him.

Steve didn't turn around; he threw both his middle fingers up. “FUCK YOU!” he screamed again like a broken record. Billy watched him go. His heart felt about in his throat again and he didn't know why. He already regretted about half the shit he'd said; give him another five minutes and he'd regret all of it.

He went and laid back down on his bed. He had some blood on his t-shirt from where Steve had shoved him; probably he'd scraped his hands up in the gravel when Billy'd pushed him the fuck down. Billy thought about that and he thought he hadn't needed to do that.

After a couple minutes he could hear Maxine and Susan getting up; he had no clue how the fuck he and Harrington hadn't woken them screaming their heads off at each other. The Mayfields slept like the fucking dead.

Max knocked on his door twice; Billy didn't answer her. She knocked again. “Billy? Are you okay?” she asked all muffled through the door. “Who were you yelling at?”

“LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE,” Billy said.

Max didn't answer; she kicked his door and he felt her sulky silence wash over him. He just laid on his bed and felt like a piece of shit like usual. It'd been a real bad morning to whack off.

* * *

 

A couple days went by; Harrington definitely wasn't talking to him. Billy felt annoyed and then he felt like a piece of shit. He hadn't needed to say all that shit to Steve. He hadn’t needed to call him stupid; he hadn’t needed to yell all that shit at him. He couldn't stop himself. He didn't know why he could never stop himself.

Wednesday Max waited for him after basketball practice. She'd been sulky at him all fuckin' week still for screaming at her and Monday she hadn't waited for him. “Are you fighting with Steve?” she asked him as they headed out of the school.

“Dunno.”

“Dustin says you really hurt his feelings,” Max informed him; Billy didn’t want to hear that. She scowled up a storm. “What did he do to you?”

Jesus Maxine had such faith in him asking _what did he do to you_ like Billy wasn't an asshole every goddamn day; he had no clue why she had such faith in him. “He didn't do shit to me, I don't want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” Max said like a sulky bitch; she knew when to not press his buttons. She asked the important question: “Are we still getting food though?”

“Yeah we can get food.”

Off to the diner they went to be annoyed by Henderson and Sinclair. Billy rolled his eyes at Max and Lucas doing their _Love Boat_ shit; he wished Little Byers was here. “You kids know my dad's coming home this weekend, right?” he said.

Lucas was giving him a weird look that he couldn't read. “Yeah, we know,” he said.

“Billy, I have a message for you from Steve!” Henderson told him; Max and Sinclair sighed their heads off. “Will you accept the message?”

“Oh, my god,” said Sinclair.

Billy sighed too; he ate some of Henderson's fries to prepare himself. Henderson was still letting Billy eat his fries for some reason even though he and Steve weren't talking now. “Yeah, tell me the shit.”

“Okay.” Henderson pulled a piece of looseleaf out of his pocket.

“Oh Jesus fuckin' Christ.”

Dustin ignored him; he was smoothing his paper out. He cleared his throat. “Okay, first off, you're a grade-A asshole, you never should have been friends in the first place. Um, here there was a lot of screaming and I couldn't catch everything, what'd you say to Steve?” Henderson asked him. He kept reading. “Okay. Uh, you're dogshit, total dogshit, don't talk to him ever again, go back to California, also _you're_ bullshit, I underlined that three times, also you're a huge cheesedick, _and_ you like terrible music.”

“That's great, that's the best poem I've gotten in a while.”

Henderson folded up his paper and put it back in his pocket. He watched Billy eat his fries. “What are you guys fighting about, I thought you were best friends now.”

“What, he ain't tell you?”

“Not really.” Henderson leaned over on the table. “Is it about a women?”

Max and Sinclair rolled their eyes. “No it ain't about a woman,” Billy told him. He felt surprised that Steve hadn't told Henderson about all the awful shit Billy'd said to him; he didn't know why he wouldn't tell him. Anyway Billy wasn't going to tell him. “It don't matter okay, you kiddies can pick your sides.”

“I refuse to do that, you're both my friends,” Henderson yapped dramatically; Billy rolled his eyes.

“Ain't your fuckin' friend.”

“Billy,” Henderson said all serious over his french fries. “Billy! I know that your personal trauma and your abuse makes it hard for you to connect with people, but me and Lucas are here for you!”

Lucas was making a terrible face and so was Max; Billy almost laughed at them even though he didn't feel like laughing. “Dustin, shut the hell up!” Sinclair said. “Why are you gonna say something like that in public? You're not his therapist.” Sometimes Sinclair was almost okay.

“Um, according to Steve he needs a therapist!” Henderson yapped. “Steve says – “

“I don't have any personal trauma,” Billy told him. He was still eating the kid's fries.

“I'm being _supportive!”_ Dustin said. “Oh my god, are you going to leave me any of those, do you just want the plate to lick? Do you have a return rebuttal for Steve?”

“I don't got anything to say to him.”

“Really? Nothing?” Henderson stared at him. “Okay.” He pulled his paper out of his pocket again and wrote something down on it; Billy had no clue what the fuck he was writing.

“What the hell are you writing?” Maxine asked him.

“What! Nothing!” Henderson said, clearly writing something. He wrote for a while; Billy and Max and Lucas all stared at him. Finally he finished and put his little paper away. Billy wondered why this was his life now. “Okay. Billy, I'm going to come to your practice next week, okay?”

As usual Henderson was making him feel those real emotions; it was okay because he was trying not to feel like a sulky bitch about Steve. Go back to California! Terrible music! What the hell was a cheesedick? “Don't need you to come to my practice,” Billy said. He ate the rest of Henderson's fries.

“Watch your figure,” Maxine told him; she stole his soda.

 

A couple more days went by, then a whole week 'nother with no Harrington; Max yapped away to him that she'd seen Steve at the grocery store looking like a lost puppy and Billy didn't want to hear about it. Then Henderson yapped away to him that he'd been at Steve's house and Steve was _acting_ like a lost puppy and Billy didn't want to hear about it. Harrington wasn't _his_ puppy. Then that made Billy get all depressed about Luke and Leia. He was pretty sure he'd lost his puppy privileges.

Dog privileges aside, Billy didn't know what to do. He'd never really had a friend before; he'd definitely never had a friend before that he whacked off to and he didn't know what to do about it. He didn't know how to say sorry and he wasn't going to call Steve's house like a goddamn girl. He'd felt real lonely for the first couple days but he was getting used to it.

He hadn't realized how much time he and Harrington had spent together until he didn't have him to hang around with anymore; it sucked ass. He thought too about Steve saying _I am always alone_ and felt like a piece of shit. It wasn't true because Steve had Henderson and the creepy kids too and apparently Nancy Wheeler but he felt like a piece of shit. He kept telling himself it was for the best but goddamn if he didn’t feel like a piece of shit. He _was_ a piece of shit. He put Tommy Hall's little brother in three different trash cans just because he could and because Harrington wasn't gonna bitch him out for it later.

Billy went home after basketball practice; it was about five-thirty when Max came in with her skateboard and looked at him. Her hair was all crazy from the wind. “Hey,” she said, closing up the front door. “You're not at work?”

“Had practice.”

“Oh, right. When's your first game?”

“Not 'til February. It's an away.”

“Okay! I can’t promise that I can keep Dustin from going, my _powers of persuasion_ only reach so far with him now.” Billy made a face and Max grinned at it. She leaned her skateboard up behind the door — Susan was gonna scream her head off when she came home from work— and flopped down onto the couch beside him.

“Woulda picked you up,” Billy told her; he guessed she'd boarded home. “Thought you was going to the Wheelers'.”

Max gave him a look that said that he was, unequivocally, a huge bozo. “Uh, no. The Wham! farewell tour is on MTV at six, I'm not watching that shit at Mike's!”

“Jesus,” said Billy in disgust.

Max ignored him being in pain; she took the remote right out of his hand and started flicking through the TV channels. She wasn't even looking at him but he could sense her being a shithead. “So … are you still fighting with Steve I guess?” she asked. It was pretty obvious.

“Yep.” Really it wasn't even a fight at this point; Billy was pretty sure they were just done.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what about?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, well, _we all_ want you to stop fighting,” Max told him. “Dustin says Steve has been a huge asshole all week about you, do you think you can make up with him?”

“Don’t think so.”

Max turned her head and made a face at him which then morphed into another look. Suddenly she actually looked all sad for him and shit. “Oh my god, wait,” she yelped. “Did you _tell him?_ That you – ? And he didn't – ?”

Jesus, Billy said again in his head. “No I didn't fuckin' tell him, you shithead!” He guessed Max thought that he and Harrington really queered around braiding each other's hair all the time and talking about their fuckin' feelings.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Max had got the channel down to MTV; she was just sitting and looking at him now. “So are you actually mad at him or something?”

He didn't know what he was at Steve. “No.”

“Okay,” Max said again. She brightened. “So … okay, so the bet is still on, right?”

Billy sighed; he didn't want to talk about the fucking bet. The fucking bet was the problem. Well not the whole problem but it was part of the problem. It was a symbol of the problem anyway. Billy definitely couldn't win the bet just like he definitely couldn't win Harrington.

“Look, Max,” he said. “Your little bet's real cute and all, I'm _so_ glad you're having so much fuckin' fun with it. But you _know_ you're taking me to see Metallica, right?”

“ _Maybe._ ” Max stuck her nose up in the air like a snooty poodle. She was still being funny and it wasn't really funny.

“No not maybe,” Billy told her; he felt pretty annoyed at her. Something in his tone made her look at him. “Look, this ain't actually a fuckin' game for me.”

“I _know_ that, I'm just – “

“It's never gonna happen.”

“Okay, but you don't _know_ – “

“Think all your jokes and shit are real funny, I'm so glad I can fucking amuse you so much – “

“They're not jokes!” Max yapped. “Billy, Steve _likes_ you! At least he did til _last week!_ He always – “

“Shut the fuck up, no he don't.” Billy leaned back and laid his head against the back of the couch. “I'm tired of gossiping about this shit with you like a fuckin' girl.”

Max glared at MTV on the screen; they were playing a shitty Devo video. “Okay, but he does like you!”

“What part of your brain doesn't process me talkin'?” Billy asked her. “It ain't gonna fuckin' happen.”

“You still don't _know that._ ” Max was making one of her gremlin scowly faces; she looked all annoyed at him now for some reason. Jesus fuck she was a piece of work! He was letting her watch the TV! “You don't know! He could like both, like you!”

Billy didn't say anything for a couple minutes. He’d thought she’d known already.

He didn't think he was gonna say anything, say anything at all, but Max was still staring at him and making the scowly face. God he felt so terrible inside, thinking of saying it. He sat there thinking of it, chewing on his lower lip and feeling terrible. Finally he said, “Don't like both.”

Max's eyes bugged out and she didn't say anything for a couple seconds; she looked totally blank. For a moment Billy thought maybe she didn’t get it or something. What he was telling her. Then: “You – oh,” she said. “But that doesn't make sense. I thought you ...” She trailed off. “But what about – _Tracey?_ ” she yelped, like she was scared to say _Tracey_ , like it was a swear word. “I thought you – _loved her!_ Didn't you?”

Once again he was being forced to think about Tracey; he didn't want to think about Tracey, especially not like this. He apologized to her again in his head. “Sure. I loved her, okay? But not like – like I was supposed to or whatever.”

God it was bad to say it. Tracey'd been basically his best friend; he'd known her since he was about twelve goddamn years old and she was about ten. Sure he'd loved her but not in a really good way. Not the way a guy was supposed to feel about his girl. He'd just did what she'd wanted because it was what she'd wanted. He'd never really wanted to touch her or anything. He'd always thought there was something wrong with him. Now he knew what it was.

“...Oh,” Max said after a about a million years of looking at him. “Okay, but what about – those, like, eighty girls you went around with before Tracey?”

“Jesus, wasn’t no eighty — “

“Okay, whatever! Sixty-seven. And what about – “ Max glared strongly at him and he felt true slight terror again; shit but Maxine had a glare on her when she got about her morals – “what about stupid _Rachel_ back in September?”

Jesus God Billy didn't want to talk about this; he didn't know why he'd fucking said anything to her. “I didn't know before, okay. I didn't know in September.” Maybe he'd known. The thing was he'd probably known. But it was easier not to say it to Max.

“Oh. Okay.” Max was still staring at him; she’d stopped glaring though. She looked like her brain was short-circuiting. Her eyes were bugging out again. “So ... so just guys?”

“I guess.”

“Oh. Okay.” She frowned hugely at his face; he wondered what he looked like, looking back at her. “Okay. Okay. Billy, that's okay!”

“No, it ain't really okay.”

“ _Uh, yes it is!”_ Max yapped in her new supportive womanly hysteria. He could feel her staring at him and feel her getting ready to go off; he didn't know why she was gonna go off but he could fucking sense it. He glared over at her. Jesus God she actually looked all excited; it was fucking terrible. Once again he'd rather she freak out and run the fuck away from him.

Max leaned forward to look at him and they were real close for a second. If Susan walked in right now it'd probably look like they were about to kiss; the total hysteria of that almost made Billy laugh. “So you – okay, so what, what other guys have you liked?!”

Billy stared at her blankly. “I haven't.”

Max stared back at him blankly too. “Oh,” she said for the millionth time. “But how – okay … okay.” She stared at him some more and then made an incredulous face. “ _Really?_ So … _just_ Steve?”

“I guess.”

“Okay.” She was still looking at him with her weird girl x-ray vision; Billy lamented his life. “You know, I guess that makes sense anyway. You _basically_ hate everyone on sight after all.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

Max laughed at him. She was laughing at him like it wasn't even a big fuckin' deal, what he'd just told her. “Billy, you're _such_ a loser,” she said. Jesus she was supportive. “Oh my god, Steve's not _that_ good-looking!”

“Fuck off!” Billy told her; he felt all offended in two seconds. “He's all right.”

Max made her fish face. “Uh, okay, but he's no George Michael.”

Thank God for that. “Fuck off, okay?” Billy begged her.

“He's no Corey Haim either.” Jesus God Maxine would never fuck off; she'd never leave him alone either. She flopped back on the couch and made the whole thing shake. “Okay, so what other guys do you think are cute? _Famous_ guys,” she clarified.

“Je-sus Christ!” Billy said. He felt so uncomfortable; he never thought he'd tell anybody this shit. El-or-Jane must've sent him through some kinda portal. “I don't fucking know, okay? I don't think about it.”

“Well you should _sta-art!_ ” Max yapped; she was clearly thinking of all the fun she was gonna have talking about boys and glitter nail polish with her faggot brother. Truly he wanted to die. “Billy Idol? What about Eddie Van Halen?” Billy gave her a look; she amended: “God! In the seventies, I mean!”

“I don't like blondes.”

Max cackled. “Okay. What about Eddie Money?”

“Oh my fuckin' god, no, he's so old.”

Max was cracking her shit up. “Steve Jobs?” she asked him; she was so hilarious. “He's a liberal!”

“You are absolutely the worst fuckin' person I've met in my life, I want you to burn in a ditch,” Billy told her.

Max laughed her head off; Billy scowled at the TV and crossed his arms. After a while he said, “Nick Cave's all right I guess.”

“Oh my god, that skinny guy?” Max asked. Truly she looked overjoyed. “You dweeb, I guess you have a type.”

“Fuck off,” Billy begged her again.

Max looked happy. “Can I watch Wham! out here or do I have to go into Mom's bedroom?”

Billy felt so grumpy and also like a huge faggot. God he hated her, hated her. “You can fuckin' watch it out here,” he told her.

“Okay!” Max watched her George Michael shit; she kept listing famous guys that she thought Billy should think were cute and Billy kept telling her to shut the fuck up. After a while he got up and made them sandwiches for dinner. Susan came home and screamed when Max's skateboard hit her on the ankle.

 

* * *

 

Billy was bored as shit without Steve. It was like back at the start of last year when he'd just been thinking of Harrington all the time; it was way worse now because Billy actually missed him and shit. It was so bad. He missed him more than he missed fuckin' Tracey; he missed him more than the beach and pizza at the boardwalk. Goddamn but he was getting to be such a girl. He might as well let Maxine start braiding his fuckin' hair.

He took Max and her girl Beverly out to the mall over the weekend; they spent the whole time annoying the shit out of him. He and Max wandered off to look at shirts while Beverly was at the makeup counter getting her eyes done up.

Max sighed her head off at him looking at band t-shirts. “You should get something other than a stupid Metallica shirt, maybe you'll actually get a boyfriend if you dress nice,” she said like a stupid shithead.

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Billy told her; there were people around. “Don't want a boyfriend.” He only wanted one guy really. Just one.

Max rolled her eyes at him buying a Def Leppard shirt; she rolled her eyes a little less when he bought her one too. As usual she was spending all his fucking money. Beverly wandered over to them lookin' like she was in a Madonna music video and Max finally shut the fuck up about Billy finding himself a boyfriend. Fuckin' boyfriend.

Thursday morning Billy woke up having the same crazy dream about the blonde lady that wasn't his mom; he went and showered until he felt kind of okay again and until Max was banging on the bathroom door screaming that she had to pee. “Go out the window!” Billy yelled to be an asshole.

“I'm not a guy! I can't aim!” Max yelled like an asshole right back.

Billy drove them to school; during study hall Henderson and his girl came and sat with him. Henderson finally pointed out Janice Thompson. She was a tall bitch with her hair dyed red to look like Molly Ringwald; Billy could care less about her. “How's Harrington?” he asked Dustin, half because he cared and half to shut him the fuck up from talking about another girl in front of Tracey-Rebecca. Henderson was all right but he was a fucking dumbass with women.

Henderson gave him a strange look. “That's classified,” he said; Billy rolled his eyes. “Why, do you miss him?”

“No I don't fuckin' miss him,” Billy lied.

“Hmmm,” said Henderson. He reached into his jeans pocket again and pulled out a piece of paper. Tracey-Rebecca grabbed his arm.

“Dustin, no more, seriously!”

“Okay okay okay!” Henderson yapped. He told Billy, “Steve does not really appreciate my lists.”

“Yeah, he screamed last week and got us kicked out of the movie theater,” Tracey-Rebecca said.

“What the fuck you writing about?”

“That's CLASSIFED, Billy!” Henderson said. Tracey-Rebecca was rolling her eyes. Jesus God.

“Gimme a candy bar,” Billy instructed him.

Henderson looked like a Wookie. “Why do you think I'd have candy?” He gave Billy a Three Musketeers anyway. Then he smiled. “Just like dart,” he said happily. He was clearly having a stroke; that wasn't even a sentence.

“What?”

“Hahahahaha!” Dustin said still happily. “Nothing! Here, have two.” Billy guessed the creepy kids wanted him to get fat as shit and not fit into his Camaro. Then what their plans were for him after that, he didn't know.

He had health class this semester instead of gym; today they were talkin' about breast cancer which was lovely. “Has anyone ever known anyone who passed from cancer?” the teacher asked. Two people raised their hands; Billy felt like killing about everyone in the room.

Billy went home after school; he had shit else to do and nowhere to go. He sat around on the couch and watched MTV for a while and felt like a piece of shit. He twirled his stupid heavy necklace around his fingers. He couldn't even dream about his own goddamn mom; actually now he couldn't even fuckin' look at her goddamn pendant without thinking about Harrington, without thinking of Maxine.

Why'd they have to go and do that shit for him. He didn't do shit for anybody. Couldn't keep his fucking mouth closed for two seconds. Couldn't go a goddamn week without screaming at his sister, couldn't go a goddamn week without screaming at the one guy he liked.

Max came in at about five and stared at him being a sulky bitch. Billy felt even sulkier; it was Thursday and she usually played her D&D shit over at the Byers'. “What're you doing here?”

Max ignored his tone; she was kicking her shoes off. “Weird thing, I actually live here!” she told him all fake-bright.

“Thought you had your dragon shit tonight.”

“Yeah, but Mom is coming home early!” Max yapped. “They're having a movie marathon on on Lifetime, we always watch them together.”

Billy stared at her and didn't say anything. He'd fucking kill a person to watch another movie with his mom; he'd kill a lot of people actually.

Max looked at him weird and sat down by him on the couch. “Do you want to stay and watch them with us?” she asked. “Mom always cries!”

Of course Susan'd fucking cry over a made-for-TV movie. “I gotta work,” Billy lied and then realized it wasn't a lie. He had the keys to the shop; he could go in any time he wanted.

Max looked all disappointed. “Oh. When do you have to go in?”

“Uh. Right about now.”

“Oh. Okay.” Maxine looked all disappointed again like he hadn't been hanging around with her all week.

Billy got his keys and his car keys and drove himself to work. It was after five so everything was dark and Hank'd already gone home; he just lived up the street in a little apartment. Billy went into the back and rolled his eyes at the mess Hank'd left for him. He rearranged the wrenches for the eightieth time this month and then started fucking around with the Civic; he was hoping to have it done by mid-February. Hank was still slowly ordering the parts.

Hank'd been teaching him welding and how to do framework; doing framework was about the only good thing in Billy's life this month. Welding was also fun as shit and Hank said he was good at it; he also said that Billy with a fuckin' blowtorch was about the scariest goddamn thing he'd ever seen in his life, “ – and I was in 'Nam!” Hank'd said; he was eating a sandwich in the garage and giving Billy a wide berth.

“HAHAHA!” Billy'd said. This had been last week. He'd turned the flame down on his gun and tried to compose himself. “I didn't know you was in the service.”

“Uh-yuh, I was in the army for about eight years. I was in the shit, it was a lot of shit,” Hank had told him.

“I didn't know that.”

“Thought I told you.”

Billy'd kind of felt like a piece of shit and he felt like a piece of shit now thinking about it still. Hank talked his goddamn ear off all the time; Billy maybe half-listened about thirty-percent of the time. Probably Hank'd told him. Apparently even Maxine knew more about Hank than he did; he remembered her yapping on about how Hank didn't celebrate Christmas and some other shit before about how his wife'd died.

Anyway that didn't matter. Billy already knew he was a piece of shit. He and Hank had finally fixed the hood of the Honda; Billy was working at putting on one of the doors. His fucking necklace kept on hitting at the metal of the car; the chain Max'd gotten him was even longer than his old one. Every clink from the pendant seemed to be pissing him off; he shouldn't have worn it tonight. He always wore it but maybe he shouldn't. He'd just lose it again. He always lost everything important to him: the necklace, Tracey. Harrington. Even Maxine had barely talked to him for a goddamn year. Not that she and Harrington were important. God they were annoying fucks, getting into his head. Fuck.

He went and turned the radio on to distract himself; as usual Hank'd left POWER 99 on and right away a fuckin' Blondie song came on to kill him. He tuned it to 102.5; it was static-y as shit here in the shop but he left it playing. The Police came on singing 'So Lonely' which Billy figured was about the truth. He went on back to the Civic.

He worked on the car for a couple of hours while the radio kept him company. He loved working on cars; he didn't have to think, he just did it. He was probably thinking anyway. He thought about Max's stupid disappointed face; he coulda done this shit tomorrow. Or Saturday. Or whenever. He coulda stayed in with her and Susan.

It felt wrong to do that though. It was stupid to feel that way and it'd been years but it felt wrong. Susan wasn't his goddamn mom. Sometimes Max was his sister though, even when she was for shit.

After a while he started feeling real weird; his back was prickling up for no reason. He ignored it for a couple of minutes but it kept on feeling that way, like someone was looking at him. Billy knew that was total bullshit but he stopped leaning over the hood for a second and put his wrench down. He turned around to look and little Elijane was standing in the door of the garage looking at him.

“JESUS FUCK,” Billy said and almost had a goddamn heart attack. He was glad he'd put the wrench down because otherwise he'd have dropped it. He somehow managed not to clutch at his chest like a huge girl. “Jesus, kid. How'd you get in here?”

Elijane just looked at him and didn't answer; of course he knew how she'd gotten in. She could do anything with her mind he guessed. “Sorry,” she said.

“Jesus,” Billy said again; he was trying not to swear. He kind of felt like a stupid asshole; he wondered how long she'd been there looking at him while he'd been scowling away and listening to Bon Jovi on the speakers. “What're you doing here, kid?”

“I was out,” Elijane told him. She was wearing her puffy pink dress again and a big jacket; she had some kinda little backpack on. “And I … saw you.”

“What you mean, you saw me?” You couldn't see into the garage from out on the street and the front was all dark; he'd left the lights off. Maybe she'd seen his car or some shit but he was pretty sure Elijane didn't know he worked at the shop. She couldn't have seen him.

El wasn't answering him, just looking at him. Billy tried again, “Okay, what were you doing out? You have another – “ he didn't know what to call it – “episode or something?”

“ _No,_ ” said Elijane. “I wanted to see Mama. But I saw you first.”

“Shit, kid, you have a mom?”

Elijane looked at him like he was a huge bozo. “Everyone has a mom,” she told him. “Even you.”

Billy stared at her. He didn't know why the fuck she'd said that. “Okay,” he said. “Sorry, kid. Didn't think your moms was in the picture.” He knew Hopper wasn't her real dad.

El kept looking at him like she was deciding something. She crossed the garage floor and stood real close to him looking at him. She was still deciding. “The bad men got her,” she said finally.

“Uh, right. The lab people?”

“Yes,” Elijane said. She reached up and poked his head; she could barely reach him. “Fried. They hurt her brain.”

Jesus. “Sorry,” Billy said again. “Okay, you trooping off to see her? Where's she at?”

“Stays with my aunt.”

Billy sighed. El was his bride and all but she was a goddamn woman; talking to her was like talking in circles. “Kid, I dunno about your aunt. I meant how far.”

“Oh.” El thought about it. “Four hours by truck.”

Billy stared. “Do you have a truck?” Elijane looked at him like he was a huge bozo; the poor kid didn't understand sarcasm. “Look, does the Chief know you're out wandering around?” He was probably on his way to instinctively kill Billy right now.

Elijane looked sulky. “No,” she said. “He keeps saying he'll take me to see her. He promises and promises. But he never does. So I left.” She looked at him. “But I saw you first.”

“Kid, what do you mean, you saw me?” El didn't answer him. “You saw me in your mind or some shit?” El didn't answer him again; Billy made a face. “Thought you wasn't supposed to do that shit.”

“I didn't _mean to_ ,” said Elijane. “I just – saw you. Feeling bad. And – alone.” She thought about it. “And _I'm_ alone. So I thought maybe I shouldn't go find another truck.”

 _Feeling bad and alone._ Jesus Christ. “Yeah kid, you shouldn't find another truck,” Billy told her. “Look, lemme finish up here, I can take you back home when I'm – “

“ _No._ I don't want to go home.”

“Uh, okay,” Billy said. He had no clue how to deal with her; he barely had any clue how to deal with Maxine, who was usually about halfway normal. “Look, kid, the Chief is gonna skin my ass if he finds out you're hangin' out here at ten at night – “

“He's not home. He had a state meeting. He won't be back until tomorrow at eight one five.”

Billy stared some more. “Uh, right. Hopper leaves you by yourself?”

Elijane stared back at him like he was a huge bozo; he guessed he was a huge bozo. He'd already seen the kid throw a grown man into a dumpster (well, sort of seen it, at any rate; he'd _felt_ it) and he'd seen all those papers the chief had on her. Heard all the shit Henderson'd told him. He guessed she could take care of herself.

“Okay okay,” he said. “Look, you don't wanna hang out with me, kid. Why don't you go over to your boyfriend's house?”

Once again El looked at him like he was a huge bozo. Jesus she was something else. “Mike's _not_ my boyfriend,” she told him. Billy wondered if Wheeler Jr knew that. She hesitated. “And I'm … I'm not supposed to go there by myself. His parents can't see me. They might – remember me.”

Oh. Right. She was supposed to be some kinda Russian spy or some shit, Henderson'd been yapping away about it too. “Thought that was over, those people looking for you.”

El shook her head. “Too many bad men. I can't be stupid.”

“Okay,” Billy said again. He looked up at the clock on the wall behind her. “So … right, little kid in a pink dress wanderin' around at nine-forty at night, that ain't stupid?”

Elijane scowled at him; she had a glare on her too that rivaled Maxine's. They could get together and fuckin' kill him; probably they was planning it already. “I wanted. To see. Mama.”

“Okay,” Billy said for a third time. “Look, that ain't happenin' tonight, that wasn't happening as soon as you came in here, I don't need another reason for the chief to want to kill me.”

“I wanted to see you,” Elijane said; truly he felt touched. Then she said, “You're all alone,” and he felt slightly less touched.

“I ain't alone,” he said which was stupid. “What, you wanna talk about feelings or some shit?”

Elijane was giving him some kinda look; she was a piece of work tonight. “You feel bad,” she told him. “I thought I could come see you. I thought you'd _understand._ ”

Jesus God she was a true member of the Creepy Kid Club; he had no clue what the fuck she was talking about. “Kid, what do you think I understand?” he said and she just stared at him. “Okay, look, show me the shit.”

Elijane stared at him. “The … shit,” she said slowly; he sensed the wrath of Hopper coming down on him from where the fuck he was.

“Yeah, can't you do that?” Billy said. “I dunno what you're talking about, you're all worked up. Show me the shit, go in my head and show me.” Suddenly he heard Wheeler Jr screaming his head off over the summer, _SHE SHOWED ME WHERE SHE WAS_. He didn't understand it.

“I'm … not supposed to do that.”

“Look, just hit me with a little shot, show me what you can do,” Billy said. “You think I feel bad, okay, 'pparently you're already in my head, show me what you got.” Couldn't make him feel worse than he already did.

“I didn't mean to look,” El said, whatever the fuck that meant.

“Okay, well,” Billy said because he had no clue what the fuck to say. “Show me what you got. Show me the shit.”

Elijane stared at him and stared at him. “Okay,” she said.

She hit him with the shit. It was like a wave going over him; he saw everything at once. It almost knocked him off his feet.

He saw Wheeler Jr screaming and Henderson screaming and Sinclair screaming; he felt a little mark being burned onto his arm. He saw 011 011 011. She was in a little cell that was made up to look like a kid's room; she was so cold. A man with silver hair touched her face and said 'extraordinary;' he didn't mean it in any good way. He saw the first soda can she'd ever crushed.

It was memories coursing through him; they slammed into his head and coursed out through his fingertips. She was screaming and being injected with some shit and she was real small. She was BAD BAD BAD. She was so cold. She was 011 011 011. She was out in the rain; Wheeler Jr and Henderson and Sinclair were looking at her. Jesus she was so scared of them. He saw the Chief making her waffles; he saw Little Byers freezing out in a tent somewhere. He saw the monster; she was the monster. He saw the people she'd killed. Jesus it was a lot of people. He felt the snap go out of her head and into their necks. He saw Mike going over a ledge. He saw Max on her ratty skateboard. He saw the monsters. He saw everything. She was alone. She was bad bad bad. She was the monster.

Then it went away.

It didn't really go away; it went away enough that he was Billy again. He was still seeing the shit; it was coming in waves off her like she couldn't pull it all back into herself. There was so much power; she was too much. He saw flickering lights; he saw her mom strapped down on a table and screaming for her, screaming for Jane. It was that fuckin' blonde lady he'd been dreaming about.

“Jesus Christ,” he said; his voice came out shakey. Wheeler Jr was screaming for her in the woods. Wow she really liked waffles. “Jesus, kid. Okay, don't – uh, don't, don't do that again.”

Elijane almost smiled at him. He looked at her and felt scared; she was the monster. That was her feeling that; after a second it leeched away too.

“Jesus,” Billy said again. He'd gotten all sweaty in two seconds and now he just felt cold. Felt like he was in a big goddamn cell too. “Okay, we can't be in here right now.” Jesus God she'd made him feel jittery; it was too dark in the garage.

“Sorry,” said Elijane. Billy grabbed her up and dragged her to the front before he could have a great old panic attack in the garage. He turned on all the lights in the front of the shop. El hopped up on the counter and sat there looking at him.

“Kid,” he said. “Why the fuck'm I dreaming about your mom?”

El stared at him blankly for a second; her face twisted up. “I didn't _mean_ to.”

“Jesus, you sending out some kind of signal or some shit?”

“I don't know,” said Elijane. “I can't control it.”

“Jesus. Shit.”

“I'm _sorry,_ ” Elijane said in total misery. Her nose was bleeding a little bit and she looked about ready to cry in two seconds; Billy could not handle that.

“No no no,” he said. “You're all right. Christ, you fucking feel like that all the time?”

El didn't answer him for a couple seconds. “Bad,” she said finally. Shit and she thought he felt bad.

“Okay,” Billy said. “Look, kid, you're not bad.”

“You saw.”

“Yeah, I saw the shit.” Billy thought about it. “You see my stuff?”

“I didn't mean to.” Jesus he hoped she hadn't seen Harrington. Or his mom. Or his dad. Tracey. Tracey screaming. His mom screaming. Max screaming. God shit fuck. What had she seen.

“Okay,” Billy said again. Like usual he had no clue what was going on; actually he still had some of her memories floating around in him and it made him feel weird as fuck. Henderson had no front teeth and Jesus God she thought Wheeler Jr was cute! “Okay. Look, kid. You can't go around feeling like that all the time. You don't just have that shit in you, you have good shit too.”

El just stared at him; she looked like she expected him to say something more. Some elderly wisdom or some shit; Billy didn't have a lick of that in him. He wished to God he had a fucking mom or a normal dad so's he could be a normal person who'd know what to say to her. “Look, you've had a real rough time of it, I get it.” He felt like a fucking moron; it was beyond anything he could fucking say.

“I thought you would understand. The bad feeling.”

Billy licked his lips. He wasn't the same as her; he didn't know why the fuck she'd think he'd understand. She thought she was bad but he was actually bad. She should know; she'd seen the shit apparently. “Look kid,” he said for the eightieth time; he was real poetic tonight.

He felt stupid. He didn't know what to call her out loud; he had all those nicknames for her in his head. He wasn't going to fucking call her Eleven. “Okay, listen. Jane,” he said. That was her fucking name after all; that was the name her mom had given her, the name she'd been screaming. “You can't go around feelin' like that all the time, okay kid? You can't go around with a fuckin' – fuckin' hole in your heart because of the shit people did to you. You gotta push that shit _down._ ” He jabbed her a little in the stomach; he guessed it was okay to do that since she'd fucking been in his head and all. “Down in here, okay?”

El stared at him. “Okay,” she said.

“You got other people now. You got the Chief; you got Wheeler. You got, uh, me to drive you around. You don't need to go around feelin' that way, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You ain't bad or nothin'. You gotta put that shit away.”

Elijane was just sitting on the counter and looking at him. “Okay, I'll try,” she said. She sat there looking at him. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Billy said. “I got all my shit under control.”

El just looked at him. _I don't know,_ she said in his head; it freaked him the fuck out. “Can I stay here?” she asked him.

“What?” Billy said in slight hysteria. Like, to live?!

“Until you're finished,” El said patiently; Billy sighed out in relief. “I don't want to go – home. No one's there. I wanted to go see _Mama_. I don't want to be alone.”

“Look, kid, I'll take you to see your fuckin' mom, it just can't be tonight,” Billy told her desperately, then he wished he hadn't said it.

“Promise?”

Shit if she didn't look just like Maxine excited out of her damn mind to hang out with him or something. “Yeah, sure. Just not tonight, you can't be walkin' all over town.” He thought about that black car back in August. It could have just been a car.

“But can I stay here?”

Billy didn't know what to do with her. “It's like ten at night, ain't you supposed to be in bed? What are you, like twelve?”

El glared at him; she actually did look twelve. “I'll be thirteen in May.”

JESUS GOD SHE WAS ACTUALLY TWELVE! WHEELER JR WAS GONNA DIE! Billy tried to compose himself. “Okay, okay,” he said. He thought about it; he wasn't going back into the garage for shit tonight. “Look, you wanna get a milkshake or something?” The diner was open til midnight.

El stared at him; she was thinking about it. She stared at him for a while. “Fries and a soda too.”

“Oh my god, you're killing me, kid.” He had a strong sense of foreboding that Elijane was gonna suck up all his money just like Max. Women'd kill you if you let them.

Billy locked up the front and turned the lights out; Elijane followed him out to his car. He finally saw her little backpack; it had a little cat face on it that was gonna kill him being too cute. Now she was just a normal weird girl again. He took her to the diner and she ate all her food like a crazed rat again. He wondered if she'd gotten any dinner. Even though she was still definitely his goddamn bride he felt pretty weird being alone with her in the diner; she was such a little kid and she wasn't his sister like Max was.

Finally she finished eating and allowed him to take her home. She'd said about all of eight words to him in the diner; she was a goddamn miracle. When they got back into the car 102.5 was all static-y like usual. El stared at the radio and put her hand out; the Violent Femmes came on playing clear as day.

“HAHA!” Billy said even though he didn't feel like laughing; he couldn't help himself.

“Thought you'd like that,” Elijane said. She looked all pleased with herself.

Billy drove her out to the chief's; it was all dark like usual. El stared at him from the passenger seat. “Will you really take me to see Mama?”

“Look, I dunno if the chief's gonna let me take you out – “

“You _promised._ ” She was giving him the awful look again.

“Okay okay okay, Jesus, yeah, I'll take you, I'll figure it out.”

El thought about it. “Mike too,” she told him.

“Je-sus,” Billy said; not Wheeler! She just looked at him. “Okay okay, Mike too.”

“Okay.” Elijane climbed out of the car; she leaned in the window and looked at him in her serious way. “Thank you.”

“Keep your shit locked up, okay?” Billy told her. “I don't want no bad dreams tonight.”

“Okay. I'll try.”

“Okay.”

Elijane went off up towards the house; once again she used her goddamn mind to turn all the lights on before she'd reached the door. She went inside without looking back at him. Billy stared after her; he put the Camaro back in drive.

The whole drive home he tried not to freak the fuck out; he had to push the shit down like he'd told her. All the memories she'd shown him now felt like a dream he'd had. She'd still shown him though. Now he knew what the monsters were that Harrington dreamed about. Goddamn they were ugly fuckers.

By the time he'd gotten back across town and back to his house he felt mostly calm again. Almost normal, not that he ever felt normal. He sat in the car and counted to ten twice; he was all right. If Jane was all right he could be all right.

He got up and went inside; Max and her mom were still in the living room watching the TV. It was past midnight and there was school tomorrow but Susan probably didn't care about that; she was usually good with letting them do what they wanted as long as they weren't out killing anybody.

“Hey, you're back!” Max said; she looked all happy. Felt like he'd been gone about twelve goddamn years. “Do you want to watch the movie with us?”

Billy thought about it. He remembered wishing he'd stayed earlier. “Okay,” he said.

“I want you to see this total douchebag Mom thinks is cute.”

“ _Max!_ ” said Susan.

Billy sat down next to them on the couch. Max pointed at the screen. “That guy with the bowtie.”

“Oh Jesus, what a douchebag.”

“ _Billy!_ ” said Susan.

“Sorry, Sue, that's a grade-A douchebag, probably got a stamp and everything.”

“Oh my god,” Susan said; her eyes were wide and she was shaking her head like a mom. “Honestly, I don't know which of you is worse.”

“Him,” said Max.

“Her,” said Billy. They watched the TV.

* * *

 

 The next night he got dragged out to the diner by Max and the rest of the Creepy Kid Club. It was Friday night; he didn't have to work for once. Billy had a grand old time telling the boys how El'd came to his work; Wheeler Jr had apparently heard most of it already and was scowling up a storm. Billy got such a kick out of him. Truly he didn't even know why the kid ever fuckin' came out with them when he knew Billy'd be around.

The creepy kids were acting weird tonight; they all jumped and tensed up every time someone'd walk into the diner. Billy wondered if they were expecting a monster to come shambling in or some shit.

“I can't even _believe_ she'd want to hang out with you for five minutes,” Wheeler Jr was sneering at him over Elijane. Billy stole a couple of his fries; Wheeler made a face like a demon. “Hey!”

“Stopped her from running off to find her mom,” Billy pointed out to him. Now that the night was over with he mostly felt okay again and he was back to wondering about the age of consent in Indiana. Truly he didn't know how the kids did this shit; did the creepy shit and then just went out to eat and did their normal shit.

“I _guess._ Are you really gonna take her?”

Sinclair was leaned up all nicey nice against Max across from him; Billy was trying to ignore the show. “You know, I guess El would be weird enough to like your caveman personality,” he said like some kinda philosopher. “I mean, she's been so isolated. She probably thinks you're _normal._ ”

“Watch it,” Billy told him. “Screw off, I am so nice to that girl. Gonna take her to see her moms. Got her an ice cream.” Wheeler Jr made another terrible face; Billy grinned at it. “HAHA!” he said. “Fries and a soda too.”

Max was making a face at him too; she looked all sulky for some reason even with Sinclair wrapped around her like a boa constrictor. “I guess you guys had so much fun together,” she said like a jealous girlfriend. Billy'd never understand her.

“Thought you wanted me to be friends with your friends.”

“We're _not_ your friends!” yapped Wheeler Jr. Billy stole some more of his fries. “STOP EATING MY FOOD!”

“We're kind of his friends,” said Little Byers in his loyal way; honestly Billy thought the kid was such a prize, not that he'd ever say it.

Sinclair made a face. He was definitely not a prize. “Yeah, that's debatable.”

The door to the diner dinged again and all the creepy kids sat up; Maxine leaned across the table and grabbed Billy's arm for some reason as if to keep him from bolting. She was totally weird – for a split second Billy wondered if his old man had wandered in or something.

He turned around to look and it was just Henderson coming through the door with a new hideous baseball cap on. Behind him trailed Steve with his hands in his jacket pockets; his hair was falling into his face. He stopped walking when he noticed the creepy kids looking at him. He stopped walking when he saw Billy looking at him. He had a huge pair of fucking glasses on his face; Billy stared at him.

Steve got a huge scowl on his face; he turned a little and shoved Dustin. “YOU TOTAL ASSHOLE!” he said. “I am _not_ doing this shit!” He turned and stalked out of the diner.

Henderson yelped his head off and reached out with a hand to grab at the door before it closed. “OH MY GOD, STEVE, STOP BEING DRAMATIC!” he yelled. “JESUS CHRIST! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, GUYS!” He dashed off out of the diner and after Harrington.

Max and Sinclair and Byers and Wheeler Jr were all making great faces. “You fuckin' assholes,” Billy said. Max finally let go of his arm; the creepy kids all pressed their faces up against the window at the booth to peer out into the parking lot.

Steve and Dustin were out on the sidewalk and Steve was going off; Henderson was yapping right back at him. Steve yelled a lot and clapped his hands in Henderson's face four times. With his glasses on he looked like some kinda professor yelling at his student; holy God it was amazing and Billy was going to remember it later when he was alone.

Henderson batted Steve's hands away and started waving his own arms around like a crazy person. They shouted at each other for a while and then Henderson grabbed the sleeve of Steve's jacket and tried to drag him back towards the diner; Max pressed her nose against the glass of the window like a freakshow. Steve yelled his head off some more. Finally he shoved Dustin off him and stormed off to his car. Billy and the creepy kids watched the lights of the BMW go on and watched Steve drive off.

Henderson came back into the diner all out of breath; he collapsed down next to Billy, shoving him into Little Byers. He sighed heavily. “Whew, sorry you guys had to see that,” he said.

“Why was he wearin' glasses?” Billy asked him.

“Really? That's the first thing you ask about?” said Maxine.

“Did _you_ know he had glasses?”

Dustin smiled his Wookie smile. “You've never seen Steve's glasses? He always wears contacts, this is the first time I think I've gotten him out of the house with them on. As you can tell, he was really happy to see you.”

“Guess, ah, he didn't think I'd be here?”

“Ha ha,” Dustin said. “Surprise!” He handed Billy a candy bar.

“Did you assholes plan this shit?”

“ _No!_ ” lied five out of five creepy kids. Billy didn't say anything and stole even more of Wheeler Jr's fries.

“Son of a bitch, I really thought it'd work, he was my ride home!” Henderson yapped. He gave out a big Wookie sigh. “Maybe if he wasn't wearing the glasses, son of a bitch. It's gonna take me like a half hour to walk!”

“Chill the fuck out, I'll give you a ride,” Billy told him.

“I deserve like forty rides from you, Steve has been _impossible_ lately,” Henderson told him: he sounded like the weary mother of an evil toddler. “Look, I don't know what you did, but can you please make up with him? I seriously can't handle him anymore, I think yesterday I had a stress muscle spasm.”

Max was making a weird face. “Is that even a thing?”

“Um, _yes,_ it is when you have to deal with Steve!” Henderson yapped. “Billy! You have to take him back!”

Jesus he made it sound like a soap opera. “Look, he doesn't wanna talk to me.”

“Yes he does, he literally complains about you all the time and you guys haven't talked for two weeks and _five_ days!”

“That's so sweet, that's really affecting me.”

“It's affecting _us!_ ” Wheeler Jr said. “Can you just make up with him? He's been, like, the biggest jerk ever lately, I don't know how _not talking_ to you can make someone the biggest asshole, but that's what's been happening!”

Billy looked around; all the creepy kids were looking back at him with huge bug eyes. “What, it's really that bad?”

“Oh my god!”

“He's impossible – “

“ – last week at my house he literally ripped my _Temple of Environmental Evil_ in half – “

“ – uh, Wheeler, I dunno what the fuck that is – “

“ – it's a 200 page book, Billy! How did he do it!”

“He flips out, like, all the time – “

“He yelled at me in the arcade!”

“Last week he made me sit in his room and listen to The Smiths for two hours! WHY'D YOU GIVE HIM THAT!”

“ _And_ he dumped a soda on my head!”

“He called me a motherfucker!”

“He called me a motherfucker!”

“He called _me_ a motherfucker!”

Billy stared. “He called _you_ a motherfucker?” he asked Little Byers. Byers nodded his head emphatically. “Okay. Okay that's pretty bad.”

“PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK BILLY!” yelled the creepy kids. “TAKE HIM BACK! HE'S SO ANNOYING!”

“Okay okay okay,” Billy said. “Chill the fuck out.”

“What are you even fighting about?”

“We ain't fighting. I just said some shit to him.”

“What did you say?” yapped Sinclair and Wheeler Jr.

“Guys!” Henderson said, coming to Billy's rescue somehow. “Listen, Steve says this is a private matter. And actually I don't care, I could care less, I am getting a rash. PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK!” he yelled in Billy's face.

Billy wiped some of Henderson's spittle off his face. “Kid, this ain't _Love Boat,_ he's not gonna go sailing into my arms. I really pissed him off, okay?”

“Oh my god, Billy, friends have fights all the time,” Henderson yapped. “Just get over your mental trauma and go apologize to him, tell him you miss him!”

“I don't fucking miss him,” Billy said like a sulky bitch.

“Shut up, yes you do!” Max said. Billy gave her a warning glare which she ignored.

“Okay, okay,” said Wheeler. “Who drew first blood?”

“The fuck? We didn't fucking punch each other.” This time.

“Oh my god, he means who started the argument!”

Billy felt like an even bigger sulky bitch. “I guess I did.”

“Big surprise,” sneered Wheeler Jr. Billy ate even more of his fries; they were cold now. “OH! MY! GOD! STOP EATING!”

“Okay, so you're in the wrong, you have to go apologize,” Henderson said. “You have to shake his hand!”

“I ain't shaking his hand.”

“He'd probably prefer a hug,” Maxine said like a shitheel. Billy took her fries too. “BILLY! STOP EATING!”

“What? M'fucking hungry.”

Four out of five creepy kids looked annoyed. Henderson looked deeply disappointed in him. “I really thought you cared about Steve, you came to the movies with us!” he yapped. Billy didn't answer him. “YOU PICKED HIM UP FROM THE DENTIST!” Henderson screamed; Jesus God Billy hoped he didn't scream at little Tracey-Rebecca like this. “Billy, you're endangering the party! Don't you miss him?”

“Oh my god, I'm not in your fuckin' party.”

“You could be! I thought you were friends with Steve!”

Billy wanted them all to stop talking. “Yeah we were.”

“Well, why'd you screw it up?” Sinclair asked him. “Just go tell him you were wrong, we all have to do that sometimes.”

Lucas Sinclair and his infinite black wisdom; Billy rolled his eyes. He did miss Harrington, though. He missed him a lot. He kinda wanted to go and let Steve beat him the fuck up; at least he'd get to look at Steve while he was doing it. He could keep his cute fuckin' glasses on while he punched Billy the fuck out.

For some reason he thought about little Elijane, sitting on the shop counter last night and looking and looking at him. _Okay, I'll try. What about you?_

He sat thinking about it. He didn't need to feel this way. He had his shit together. The creepy kids all stared at him; they were lookin' more and more irritating with their big bug eyes as the seconds ticked by.

Billy scowled. “OKAY I'LL TRY,” he said finally in great annoyance.

“REALLY?!” yelled five out of five creepy kids.

“Oh my god, if it gets you kids to shut the fuck up, yeah I'll go say sorry. Won't do shit anyway.”

“Yes it will!” said Henderson. “Okay, great, this is great!”

All the creepy kids stared at him some more. Billy stared back. “What, you want me to go right now?”

“Uh, no, you're my ride home!” Henderson yapped. Wheeler Jr said, “And you have to buy me more food, you ate everything, you troglodyte.”

“I want a milkshake!” Max said.

“Jesus,” Billy said.

 

Billy bought the brats the goddamn food they wanted and then he drove Henderson back out to his house. He and Max finally managed to shove Dustin out of the car after about six minutes of talking, then he drove Max back home too.

“Are you going to go and get Steve back?” she asked him.

Billy scowled. Why'd she have to make everything sound like a goddamn romance movie. “I _guess so._ ”

Max wished him good luck and got out of the car. Billy drove to Harrington's real slow; he wasn't thinking about it. Really at this point he barely even remembered what he'd said; he didn't know what he had to apologize for anymore. Okay he knew.

Billy parked out on the street. Like usual Harrington's car was the only one there; Billy wondered yet again if his parents ever came home. Steve didn't like to talk about it.

He got out of the car and stared up at the house for a couple minutes. He smoked a cigarette to prepare himself. He went up the walkway and knocked on the door; he had to knock a couple times. Finally the porch light came on and Steve opened up the door. He was still wearing the amazing glasses. He stared at Billy. Then:

“OH HELL NO!” Steve said like a dramatic bitch. He slammed the door shut in Billy's face.

Billy stared at the door. He knocked again. “FUCK OFF!” Steve said through the door.

Billy knocked again. “Harrington, lemme talk to you.”

“FUCK OFF!” Steve said again; he was starting his broken record shit already.

“Stevie, come on.” Billy knocked again. Steve turned the porch light off on him. “Oh my god, are you serious!”

“I'M GIVING YOU WANT YOU WANTED, I'M LEAVING YOU ALONE! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!” Harrington yelled like a den dad and a hysterical bitch. Jesus that was Billy's hysterical bitch; Billy grinned at the door. The light in the living room went off too.

Fuckin' Christ. Billy stood and glared at the door; he knocked for a couple more minutes. He could feel Steve's sulky silence washing over him like a river. Even though Steve was pissed as hell at him Billy was still kind of getting a kick out of him; that probably made him a bad person.

He went and stood back out in the yard. There was just a light on in Steve's room and the rest of the house was dark. He guessed that was that if Harrington didn't want to talk to him.

He lit up a cigarette and stood looking. Then he tossed it to the ground and stamped it out. He knew he was an asshole and he was a piece of shit, but he guessed he needed to get over himself. He thought about all the shit Elijane had shown him and thought it was small beans compared to the bullshit he'd yelled at Steve. Anyway he wanted to see Steve and he wanted to talk to him. He wanted Steve.

He went around to the side of the house where the garage was and stood looking up at the light on in Steve's room. He was pretty sure the window was open a little. He remembered Harrington making him open it for him when he'd been all looped up from the dentist. Billy stood looking at the window for a while. Then he went and dragged one of the metal trash cans over to the side of the garage. He turned it over and hopped up on it, then he started climbing up the gutter; looked easy enough in the movies. Harrington's house was even bigger than most of the houses in the movies though.

The gutter rattled away as Billy shimmied up it; Jesus he really did need to stop eating fucking french fries all the time. He reached the roof of the garage and dangled off it for a couple seconds, then he pulled himself up. The metal rafters of the gutter clattered loudly as he dragged himself up over them. He was making a lot of noise.

Harrington threw his window open and stared down at him laying on the garage roof. “OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!”

Billy rolled over and sat up. He stood up and started making his way across the sloped rise of the roof; he almost fell backwards. “I wanna talk to you.”

“YOU ARE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT!” Steve yelled at him. “YOU'RE GOING TO FALL AND CRACK YOUR SKULL OPEN ON MY DRIVEWAY!”

Billy reached the edge of the garage and looked up; he had about eight feet of gutter to climb before he got to Steve's window. “Shoulda thought about that before you slammed the fuckin' door in my face.”

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!” Steve screamed like a dramatic bitch; hell yeah that was Billy's dramatic bitch. He jumped up and grabbed the gutter. “OH, MY FUCKING GOD.”

Steve screamed his goddamn head off the whole time Billy dragged himself up the gutter pipe; it was way harder than they made it seem in the movies. In the backyard Luke and Leia were barking their heads off. At about five feet up the gutter started fuckin' groaning in its bearing and Billy was pretty sure he was about to die. He scrabbled the rest of the way up and then Harrington grabbed his arm and dragged him through the window.

“YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!” Steve told him. “I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT, ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?”

Billy fixed his jacket and looked around. Steve's room looked the same. “Wanted to talk to you.”

Steve glared at him. He still had the amazing glasses on and his red sweater; he looked like a super den dad. “Why, why do you wanna talk to me. What do you want?”

Billy ignored him; he was inspecting his arm. “Scraped my fuckin' wrist getting up here, Harrington.”

“OHHHH MY GOD!” Steve moaned like he was in pain. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?”

“Jesus, stop fuckin' screaming at me,” Billy said; he didn't want to do this part. “Look, I … wanted to say sorry.”

Steve crossed his arms like a den dad; he still looked pissed as hell. “Okay, so?”

“So … “ Billy stared at him. “Uh, sorry.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve snapped in total annoyance. “What, what are you fucking sorry for?”

“Oh my fuckin' god,” Billy said; he didn't want to do this shit. He didn't know how to do this shit. He'd said sorry about six times in his goddamn life now; half of it had been this year. He didn't know how to say sorry and mean it. He hadn't even said sorry for punching Steve the fuck out last year, not really. “Look, I'm … uh, sorry about all the shit I said to you. I didn't mean it.”

Steve stared at him; he still had his arms crossed like a dramatic bitch. He was leaned up against his desk as far away as possible from Billy. “You didn't mean it,” he repeated blankly. “Okay, cool. Why'd you say it?”

“I … “ Billy said. He didn't thinking screaming _NEWS FLASH, I'M GAY!_ in Steve's face would go over very well at this particular moment. “I don't know. Look, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean it. I was just mad. Not at you.”

“Uh, right.” Harrington still looked majorly unimpressed with him. “Look, you fuckin' told me we were cool – “

“We are cool.”

“So why'd you say all that _shit_ to me?” Harrington looked all hurt again; Billy felt about two inches tall. “Did your dad do something to you?”

Billy felt like a piece of shit too; his dad was always doing something to him but he didn't feel like lying to Steve about it right now. It wasn't about his dad this time. “No he didn't do shit to me.”

“Okay, look, if I piss you off so bad all the time – ”

“You don't piss me off,” Billy told him. “Look, I didn't mean any of it, okay? I'm fuckin' sorry. I told you I'm a fucking asshole, you know this shit.”

“Uh, okay.” Steve was frowning. “See, the thing is – uh, you're not? Uh, not lately. So tell me what I did to you.”

Jesus he was going to kill Billy, making him say shit. “You didn't do nothing.” He said again, “I was just mad. Not at you.” Steve just stared at him. “Look, I can't – fucking explain it, okay? I was just mad. I didn't mean it, I was just – I'm sorry, okay? You're the only – “ He stopped, tried again. “You're like my best friend, okay, man? I'm fuckin' sorry.”

Steve stared at him. And stared at him and stared at him. Billy wondered if Steve was about to push him out the window. Finally he said, “Okay.”

Billy stared back. “Okay?” It couldn't be that easy.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever.” Steve looked real tired and sad. “Look, we don't have to – hang out all the time or whatever. I thought you wanted to. Didn't think I fuckin' bothered you all the time – “

“You don't bother me,” Billy said. Okay Harrington bothered him all the time but it was fucking great. “I didn't mean it. I missed you, okay?” he said like a huge girl.

Steve made a face at him. “Do you really think I feel sorry for you and Max or some shit?”

“I dunno,” Billy said; he felt like a Garbage Pail Kid in about two seconds.

“I don't feel sorry for you, you asshole. You're too big of fuckface.” Steve made a terrible face. “You're like – okay you're like my best friend too, okay?” He added, “You shithead.”

Jesus he was so sweet. Billy felt uncomfortable as hell. “So are we done fighting or what?”

“I guess so.” Steve glared at him. He stopped leaning on his desk and walked over. Then he slugged Billy in the shoulder, really hard. “You're such an _asshole,_ ” he said.

“Come on, man, that's my fucking bad arm!”

“Oh, shit. Sorry!” Steve made a face.

“S'fine.”

“Look, we don't have to – hang out every day or something. Uh, I'll stop coming in through your window.”

“You can come in my window,” Billy said like a sulky bitch. Somehow he stopped himself from saying _You can come in my bed too!_ Hahahahaha. “Sorry, okay?” He wasn't looking at him.

“You're such a piece of shit,” Steve told him. “Stop saying sorry, okay? Feels like I broke you or something.”

Steve had broken him; he'd done that a while ago. “Okay.”

Steve stared at him. They were just standing around his bedroom. “So … “

Billy thought about it. “Hey. How long you been wearing glasses?”

“Oh, my god,” said Steve. He pulled them off his face. “I knew you'd be a fucking asshole about this.”

“I'm not being an asshole!” Billy said. “I dig them, man.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again; he was rolling his eyes. He had his 'Billy is amusing' face on though; Billy didn't know how he hadn't realized Steve had that face for him before. “Should show you my yearbook from ninth grade, you can cream your pants looking at my retainer and braces.”

“Oh, my god,” Billy said too in total thrall. “Shut the fuck up, are you serious.” Steve laughed. Billy said, “What the fuck was Henderson writing about me for two weeks?”

“I don't know, he's annoying as shit,” Steve said. “You know I had to take him and Rebecca out like six times because he said I was fuckin' lonely? One night they sat at the library and talked about, like, Indonesian tree frogs for two hours. I wanted to kill myself.”

“Sorry, man,” Billy said. He thought about it. He said, “Steve, what the hell is a cheesedick?”

“Oh, I was real mad at you, I get really creative. Dustin wouldn't even write down half the shit.”

“That's great, that makes me feel so good.”

Steve was grinning at him and it felt like normal. Billy felt okay. “Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” He paused. “Or you can go home. I don't care.”

“We can watch a movie.” Billy followed him downstairs.

 

The weekend went by. Billy's dad was home again so he and Max had to be on their best behavior all Saturday. Sunday Neil drove Susan out to Indianapolis; he was acting real nicey nice again like he could be sometimes. Billy knew better but it was probably good for Susan to get out of the goddamn house for once.

So it was Tuesday night and Maxine was annoying the shit out of him; he and Harrington were going to meet at the diner. It was the first time they were really gonna hang out since their fight. Maxine was treating it like some huge fucking deal; she'd had him trapped in his room for about an hour now and was making him fucking late.

Max sat him down on his bed and fucked with his hair; he batted her hands away. Max sprayed him with his hair spray. “Oh my fuckin' god!”

Max ignored him. “Are you going to be okay without me there?” she asked him like a huge mom. Oh my fuckin' god, Billy said again in his head.

“Gee, actually I dunno,” he said in such a serious voice that Max looked all touched for a second, then she scowled and slugged his shoulder. “Max, it ain't a fuckin' date, chill out.”

Max ignored him. “Okay, what are you wearing?”

“What you mean what am I wearing?” Billy looked down at himself; he was wearing his usual Garbage Pail Kid jeans and his Metallica shirt.

“Oh, my god,” said Max in total despair of him. She went over to his little dresser and started rifling through it. “Where are the clothes my mom bought you at Christmastime!” Then she screamed in horror and threw a pair of boxers at his head.

Billy laughed his ass off at her. “Chill out, all the shit's clean.”

“You are so disorganized!” Max yapped. “Where's your red sweater?”

“Oh my god, I ain't wearing the red sweater, you shithead, it's fuckin' warm out.” They'd been having some kind of warm spell this week; Henderson'd been annoying the fuck out of everyone screaming that it must be the gate.

Max ignored him; she stamped over to the closet and starting going through that shit too. She started throwing shirts at him. “Don't you want to look nice for Steve?”

“I always look nice,” Billy told her. He could sense her rolling her eyes. Max scurried back across the room and kept holding shirts up to him and assaulting him; he kept smacking at her. Truly he didn't know when the fuck she'd started thinking it was okay to come into his room. Finally Maxine decided on some kinda blue t-shirt; Billy put it on to humor her.

“Okay, I guess that's okay.” Max looked critical and sprayed him with his cologne.

Billy smacked her on the head again. “Max! Quit spraying me with shit!”

Max sprayed him again. “Put your leather jacket on!”

“The fuck, it ain't cold out.”

“Uh, Steve likes the leather jacket,” Max told him like he was a huge bozo. She held his cologne threateningly; Billy put the jacket on to avoid her wrath.

Max followed him to the front door like he was her dorky son going off to prom. “Have fun, don't stay out too late!” she said, making fun of him like a shithead. “Make good eye contact!” she yapped. “If he compliments you, it's totally a date!”

“Oh my fuckin' god, it's not a date, you asshole!”

Max leaned against the doorframe and gave him a smug look. “Oh my god, I can't believe this! I just realized that I know more about boys than you,” she said; Billy lamented his life.

“Look, don't just eat candy for dinner, okay?”

“Oh my god, can you just go?!” Max said like she hadn't been bothering him for an hour; she was shoving him out the door. She was totally waiting to eat candy for dinner.

Billy got into his car and started driving off towards the diner. His radio was still coming in real clear since El'd done her magic trick on it and he felt happy. “Happy Tuesday night, rockers!” said the shithead radio announcer. “It's time to get the Led out!” They started playing a block of Led Zeppelin; 'Whole Lotta Love' started playing since Billy was going to meet Steve.

Harrington was already at the diner at their usual spot when Billy walked him; he was eating about eighty things like usual. He was wearing his white work shirt and some kinda tie. No glasses though; Billy tried not to feel disappointed. “Hey, sorry I'm late.”

“That's okay, I just got here,” Steve said. Billy sat down. “I ordered for you since you always get the same damn thing.”

“Did you get – “

Steve was rolling his eyes. “Yeah I got you your double fries, don't freakin' worry.” He was stuffing a whole dinner roll in his mouth and he looked up at Billy. “Is that a new shirt? Looks nice.”

Hahahahahahaha, Billy said in his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * other important things:
> 
> \- Steve in glasses is so important; did you know it's Billy's second-biggest kink?
> 
> \- I really didn't want to write any OCs into this fic (I mean, I guess we have Billy's boss and his gay brother ... ) but I LOVE DUSTIN AND I WANT HIM TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND HE CAN TALK ABOUT SCIENCE WITH.
> 
> \- Can you believe that Steve Harrington listens to the songs 'Promise' and 'Prove My Love' by the Violent Femmes and thinks about Billy Hargrove? Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just write them ...


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bill!” said Steve like a den dad. He turned to Henderson. “Dustin, you look fine.”
> 
> “That's debatable,” Billy murmured; Byers snorted into his soda.
> 
> Steve gave him a look and then went on. “Look, it doesn't matter what you look like, okay? If somebody likes you for who you are, they're gonna, you know, they're gonna like what you look like no matter what.”
> 
> Dustin stared at him. “Steve! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there is some racial stuff in this part, and then Billy gets his ass kicked again: Max and Lucas get caught. So, yeah. Sorry for spoilers, but just a warning in case you don't want to read that stuff. It's towards the end and the n word gets dropped a couple times. This chapter is the longest thing ever and we are not gonna talk about that but it took me so long because by this point I really didn't want to write those parts.
> 
> Uh, I could go on and on about it, but I'll just say it's something I felt needed to be addressed, and I'll continue to do so; you guys know I have my ~vision for this story lmao. Also, I am not white so don't come for me. I grew up with a white family (my dad's side is black), though, in a predominantly white area, and … um, let's just say it wasn't fun. People are really racist. In 2018 people are really racist and they were really racist ten years ago when I was a kid and I can't imagine thirty years ago. I've had lots of slurs thrown at me by my own family members. It was kind of cathartic to write this but also not; I almost didn't post this.
> 
> I've done so much more with this story than I thought I would, and, like, at this point … I'd really rather not write Neil at all lmao. I am so not interested in writing him kicking the shit out of Billy, but I had to do this one last time, okay? Should I have him get eaten by a Demogorgan or should I have Susan divorce him and hook up with Hank? You guys decide!
> 
> Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!

 

**Chapter Seven**

_You know that sometimes, it feels like_  
_It's all moving way too fast_  
_Use every alibi and words to deny_  
_That love ain't meant to last_  
_You can cry tough, baby, it's all right_  
_You can let me down easy, but not tonight_  
_We're running with the shadows of the night_  
_So baby take my hand, it'll be all right_  
_Surrender all your dreams to me tonight_  
_They'll come true in the end_  
  
\- 'Shadows of the Night,' Pat Benatar

**February 1987**

Billy still had basketball on Wednesday and Monday; Max'd been actually going to his practices for some reason so that meant she couldn't keep Henderson and Byers out of the gym anymore. After the last week in January they'd managed to scare away the group of girls that always talked to Billy though so they were at least useful for something.

It was Wednesday now, the second day into the month, and he had Max and Lucas and Henderson on the bleachers to annoy him. Henderson had his girl Rebecca there with him; he had his arm slung around her as he yelled his dumb shit. “YEAH!!! THAT'S MY FRIEND!!!” Henderson screamed as Billy sent a junior sprawling across the gym.

“SHUT UP, DUSTIN!” said Max and Sinclair.

“HARGROVE, THAT IS ANOTHER FOUL!” said the coach. He blew his whistle; Billy made the shot anyway.

“NOTHING BUT NET!” screamed Henderson happily; Rebecca covered his mouth with her hand.

Practice ran til past five today and after he met the creepy kids out in the hallway. “You're really sweaty, you should have showered,” Max informed him. She was chomping away on her last jawbreaker and her mouth was all blue. Billy ignored her.

“Billy, do you think you can keep your shirt on next time, _certain people_ get too distracted by you running around,” Henderson lisped.

Rebecca smacked his baseball cap and gasped. “No they _don't!_ ” Henderson grinned like a Wookie.

Half the Creepy Kid Club plus Rebecca followed him down the hall. Max and Sinclair were babbling away to each other as Billy opened up his locker to get his jacket; the temperature had gotten back down to freezing again and there was an inch of snow on the ground. Henderson had been bitching and moaning away again two nights ago in the diner that it must be the gate, definitely was the gate, do you guys think it’s the gate? Billy was learning that just about everything was the gate, according to Dustin. He didn’t know how Harrington hadn’t lost his goddamn mind yet.

“OH MAN! I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS!” Dustin'd yelled his head off in the diner.

Billy'd flicked a sugar packet at his face and Sinclair had rolled his goddamn eyes out of his head. “Oh my god, what _do_ you feel good about?!” he'd yelled back. “It's February, you idiot!”

Now Henderson leaned over Billy's shoulder like a creeper creepy kid. “Hey, do you have anything cool in your locker?” he asked. He started grinning. “Aww! Hey!” he said in true delight. “Is that that picture of you and Max at Christmastime?”

“REALLY?” Max yapped. “DID YOU PUT MY PICTURE UP?”

Billy shoved Dustin away from him; truly Henderson was the worst ever. He'd thought it was Wheeler Jr but Henderson was showing his true colors more and more. “No I didn't put your fuckin' picture up!” he lied. One goddamn thing he put up in his locker to get himself through the day, now he was going to have to burn it on account of Dustin seeing. He put his leather jacket on and scowled. “What's going on, why's there a gathering happening here? Am I taking you kids out or something?” He couldn't believe 1987 was the year he'd turned into a goddamn charity cab service.

“You _said_ we would go to the movies with Steve on Wednesday,” Max reminded him. She slurped her jawbreaker like a disgusting troll; Sinclair looked enamored with her.

“Uh, no, said _I_ was going to the movies with Steve on Wednesday.” Billy laughed at her face. “Oh my god, you shit, you already know I'm gonna fuckin' take you. Dunno how you're all gonna fit in my car.”

Rebecca looked uncomfortable; she bit her lip. “Oh, I don't have to go. It's fine.”

“What? You aren't coming?” yapped Henderson.

Billy slid Max's horrible picture into his English book in what he felt was a sly movement; he slammed his locker shut. “Kid, I don't care if you come, you're just gonna be cramped in the backseat.”

“Um … “ She was still hesitating. “It's okay, I don't have any money anyway.”

“Why would you need money, I am going to pay for you,” Henderson said right away; Billy felt proud for a moment. Then Henderson said, “I bet we'll just see one of the dollar movies anyway, Billy probably wants to see _The Sound of Music_ for the eightieth time,” and Billy felt significantly less proud. He hit Henderson on the top of his baseball cap and shook him around for a minute. Take a kid to see _Grease_ one fuckin' time.

“Why do you tell these fuckin' lies about me, Henderson? So lucky your girl's here.” Dustin grinned at him for some reason like his life wasn’t in peril. Whatever.

Billy walked out to his car; Max and Lucas and Dustin and Rebecca followed behind him in two little pairs. The Creepy Couples, Billy thought, cracking his shit up. Sinclair and Henderson squished into the back with Rebecca and Max took her spot as Princess Shithead up front with Billy.

The Creepy Couples talked and talked as Billy drove them out of the school. Maxine was hoping to see _The Mosquito Coast_ and the boys were clamoring for _Evil Dead II_ ; Billy was hoping that one'd win out. Normally Max was deep into that horror shit too like him but apparently the call of River Phoenix was too great for her tonight.

Billy glared into his rearview mirror. “Henderson, you _fucking_ pervert, I see your hand on that girl's leg one more time, I'm kicking you to the goddamn curb.”

Henderson removed his hand from Rebecca's knee. She was making a great face. Good lord help them all; Henderson might be getting ass. “What are you talking about, there is absolutely no space back here!” he yapped; Billy rolled his eyes. Once again he asked the Lord for help but as usual the Lord did jack shit.

Steve was already parked in the lot behind the movie theater when they got there. He was leaning against the door of his car yapping away to someone in the backseat; Billy pulled up real close to him to be an asshole. He and Max got out of the car and Max pulled her seat up to let the brat pack out. They looked like a gaggle of clowns or something squeezing out of Billy's car.

“Hey,” he said to Steve.

“Hey shithead,” Steve said back and shoved his arm; like usual he stole Billy's whole heart in two seconds. “Okay, I was hoping you'd bring along two or three kids.”

Billy tried not to start laughing. “Say that again in your head, Harrington, you fuckin' pedophile.”

Steve did laugh; there was a time when he wouldn't have laughed. “Shut the hell up, I brought a surprise for you.” Wheeler Jr was climbing out of the backseat and already making a terrible face. Billy made one back.

“I don't want that thing, take it back!” he told Steve.

“Oh my god. Not him!” Steve said. He was rolling his eyes. “Mike, can ya hurry a little?” Wheeler Jr was still making a terrible face (actually Billy thought that that was just what his face looked like: terrible); he turned around and helped Elijane out of the car.

“OH SHIT!” said Billy. “Hey kid!”

“Hi Billy,” Elijane said. Wheeler Jr had a grip on her hand and a scowl on his face; he was such a treasure. She asked Billy like she'd been rehearsin' her words, “How are you?”

Billy leaned on his car in a great joy. “I am fan-freaking-tastic, kid,” he said; for some reason Steve and Wheeler Jr rolled their eyes at him. “What you been up to, was you on lockdown?”

El nodded. “Super lockdown,” she said all serious. Billy got such a kick out of her.

“El went and told Hopper that she ran off to see you like a dummy,” Wheeler Jr told him.

“Mike! I can't lie!” yelped Elijane.

Wheeler Jr was making another one of his shit-faces at Billy. “I think he wants to talk to you again.”

“Okay, he knows where to find me.” Once again Billy thought his favorite thing was talking to high-ranking officials, especially scary crazy adoptive bear-dad ones like Hopper.

At the ticket window the Creepy Couples hemmed and hawed and squawked. The only one missing was Little Byers on account of Joyce being so protective and crazy; there was worse things she could be, Billy figured. Wheeler Jr held Elijane's hand the whole time and Billy wondered again if the kid knew that apparently he wasn't her boyfriend.

 _Evil Dead II_ wasn't playing yet even though they had the poster up. Finally the kids decided on _Youngblood_ which was some kinda hockey movie starring yet another guy who Susan always blabbered on that Billy looked like; the other week Maxine'd pretended to choke and die into her breakfast at the audacity of someone saying Billy looked like Rob Lowe. She was a treasure too.

“This is going to be way better than _Grease,_ ” Wheeler Jr told Elijane; Billy made a face and a gesture at his back that made Steve start laughing again.

The kids spent about eighty years picking out snacks; all the creepy guys had to buy candy for their creepy girls. “Do you want something?” Steve asked him.

Billy was definitely not a creepy girl even if he did want Skittles and also Steve. “No I'm good,” he said.

The movie was okay. Billy wasn't really paying attention to it on account of he had Harrington on one side of him and Elijane on the other; he felt real jazzed up for the first time all day.

He hadn't been hanging out with Steve as much the last two weeks: he’d only seen him one other time since Max'd sent them off to the diner towards the end of last month. He was glad Steve’d called him up. Steve had told him they were cool but they weren't really cool; Billy knew Harrington didn't trust him now after the shit he'd pulled.

Billy didn't blame him. He'd said a lot of shit. He was trying to make up for it, not that he knew how. Harrington was all sensitive and shit; Billy didn’t know how to be that way. Half the time even now he couldn't figure if he wanted to kiss Steve or punch him still.

After the movie ended they all went back out to the parking lot. The Creepy Couples stood around under a streetlamp together yapping away about their creepy shit and Steve and Billy went and leaned against Steve's car.

Billy asked Steve about his work and Steve started bitching his head off. Even if he didn't trust Billy anymore, nothing could stop Steve from talking his ear off, it seemed. Billy didn't mind; he liked hearing Harrington talk and talk. Maybe it was his favorite thing, even more than hockey or pissing off Maxine. Tuesday was the day Steve was supposed to bring in coffee for the office; Wednesday this chick named Deborah brought it in and she brought Steve the wrong thing every time.

“Fuckin' bitch, you should get her fired,” Billy said in support. He had one cigarette left; he and Harrington were sharing it leaned up against the door of his car. Billy handed the cigarette over.

“She is a bitch, she has never liked me,” Steve went on like a sulky office drone; hell yeah that was Billy's sulky office drone. 401k and shit – Billy could dig it. Steve took a drag off the cigarette. “She is about thirty-two and acts twelve. She never liked me, she thinks I get special treatment because of my dad. Don't even see him all goddamn day.”

“I know, man,” Billy said in support.

“Do you know who got the most fuckin' sales calls today?” Steve asked him.

“Bet it was you, Harrington.”

“Hell yes it was me,” Steve said like a dramatic bitch; hell yeah that was Billy's dramatic bitch. Okay he really needed to stop thinking shit like that in his head. “I’m not even on that shit, mostly I do paperwork. I pull my weight around there, you know? Every fuckin' Wednesday night Linda stays late and breaks the goddamn copy machine, I can actually feel it breaking right now. I am gonna spend my whole lunch hour tomorrow making copies with her down in the basement.”

“Thought you liked that old lady.” Apparently she was some old bat who ate lunch with him every day; Henderson laughed his ass off about it but Billy thought it was kinda sweet. Mind you it wouldn't be sweet if some old bitch tried to eat lunch with _him_ every day but for Steve it was sweet.

“No, she's all right, but she still breaks the goddamn copy machine every fuckin' Wednesday.” Steve looked up; Elijane had materialized next to them in two seconds. “Uh, freakin' Wednesday,” he amended.

“Gosh darn Wednesday,” Billy said like a moron; Steve laughed. Billy was looking at him and looking at him. He couldn't help himself. He was Billy that liked Steve tonight; he usually was.

Elijane slipped her little hand into his; Billy tried not to be startled out of his goddamn mind. Nobody really touched him anymore, aside from Harrington sometimes and Max getting all up in his personal space all the time. “Hey Jane, you need something?”

El nodded. She looked up at him in her serious way. Billy also tried not to feel scared out of his goddamn mind; he hoped she wasn't going to ask him about going to see her moms again. He was still trying to figure out what to say about it to Hopper that wasn't 'I promised' like a stupid fourth-grader. Elijane just looked up at him. She was still holding his hand. She said, “I need the next book soon.”

“Oh okay,” Billy said in great relief. She was just talking about _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe_. “You almost done, kid? What you think about it?”

Elijane looked real serious. She thought about it. “Edmund is a mouth-breather.”

“HAHAHA,” said Billy; he was seeing their wedding. He'd always thought the same thing. He got himself under control. “Yeah, totally is, he gets a little better though. All right, I'll get ya the next book.”

El looked up at him. “Next week, okay?”

“Yeah yeah, okay, next week.” He was well aware that the kid was workin' him over but he didn't really care; there was worse people who could work him over.

Wheeler Jr came over about a minute later like a slave owner to snatch her up; El clung to Billy's hand for a second more then let herself be led off. “Bye Billy.”

“Ah, later kid.”

Steve was looking at him and smiling like a goddamn goofball. He raised his eyebrows high up on his forehead and looked cute as shit. He had his arms folded across his chest; he leaned over on the car and nudged Billy's shoulder with his own. “Holy crap, man, she touched your hand,” he said, making fun of Billy. “You gonna be okay?”

Billy was grinning at him; he couldn't help himself. It was a real good night. “Think so,” he said.

 

Friday after basketball drills Billy went to work. Hank was closing up shop and his gay brother was fucking around in the front office being a terror and listening to some Madonna record; it was the same one Billy'd had to buy Max on tape.

Billy let Hank talk his ear off for a while. He tried to actually listen for once even though it was just the same goddamn story about Hank's sister screwing him over for World Series tickets six years ago. Hank told that story about every two goddamn weeks; Miles leaned out of the office and laughed at Billy's face.

Hank paid him for the week and then he started going on and on complaining to Miles too as he slowly put his jacket on. Billy abandoned all hope and went into the back. Even with the garage door closed he could still hear fuckin' Madonna singing about the borderline mixed with Hank gabbing away; in his head he sighed for a thousand years.

He changed the tire on an old truck for a Monday pick-up, then rearranged the wrenches for the thirteenth time this month already. He wasn't doing anything with the Civic tonight; they were waiting for the last of the parts to come in. There wasn't too much to do which was about usual for a Friday.

It was a little past six when he went back out to the front. Hank had finally left and Miles was torturing him listening to 'Higher Love' yet again in the office now. Billy rolled his eyes; he gathered up the hundred and ten car manuals Hank had left all over the counter like a fuckin' slob. Hank'd left him a note on the counter before too he'd left – 'Bill, your lady's bringing her Chevy in on Tuesday! Wear a nice shirt!' with a fucking' smiley face; Hank thought he was too hilarious. Billy made a mental note to dress nice for Ms. Ellenburg on Tuesday.

He tossed the note into the trash and put his jacket on. He was getting himself geared up to leave and say bye to Miles without scowling when the phone rang. Billy eyed it for a moment; he had shit to do. Finally he decided to pick it up. “Hawkins Auto,” he said into the phone like a good little employee.

“Uh, hey. Bill?” It was Harrington.

“Hey, what you callin' here for?” Steve hadn't been calling him too much lately, and he definitely never called him at work. Probably he hadn't even been doing any of his creepy drivebys lately; Billy wondered what was up.

“Uh, hi, nothing.” Steve sounded weird and far away. “Uh, I mean, actually my car broke down.”

“Shit, you serious?” Billy leaned on the counter. “Where you at?”

“I was comin' home from work, I'm like out by that payphone off of Route 22.”

That was still pretty far out of town. “You get your car off the road?”

“Yeah, uh, it was just smoking pretty bad.” Steve hesitated; a couple seconds of silence ticked by. Billy was still leaning on the counter. He was thinking about Harrington standing in some phone booth, out alone in the dark against the highway. It made his stomach clench; he kinda felt like a den dad or something. Or something. It was real cold out, anyway. “I don't – want to bother you or anything,” Steve said. “Uh, usually we go out to this mechanic out by the office. I wasn't even gonna call – “

“No, man, you don't gotta go all the way back over there.”

“ – didn't know if you'd be working but I just – “

“Look, lemme call the tow for you,” Billy interrupted. “He'll know where you're at.”

“Uh – “ Steve still sounded awkward and far away – “okay. Okay I guess. Sorry, I just – ”

“You been there long?”

“Not really, like twenty minutes.”

“He can come and get you in like a half hour, I can look at your car and take ya home.”

“You don’t have to do that – ”

“Ain’t a problem.”

Another couple seconds went by. Finally Steve said, “Okay. Uh, thanks.”

Billy felt weird; he was pretty sure Harrington didn't want to be calling him. Either way he'd called him so Billy'd got him. “Yeah, I got you. Just hang tight, okay?”

“Yeah. Sure. Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Once again he felt fuckin' weird. Apparently he didn't even know how to end a phone call with Steve anymore; he hung up after another second. Then he got out their phone book and looked up the number for the guy Hank used to do tows, some lazy fuck named Alan who lived out past Loch Nora.

Billy called him up; he had to heckle him for about five minutes to get him off his ass and to agree to go get Harrington. “Man, it's like six-thirty, I got a beer in my hand,” Alan whined his bitch-ass off. “Why you calling me at home?”

People from out past Loch Nora were definitely for shit; six-thirty wasn't late anywhere in the world. “What you usually do when someone needs a tow after six?”

“They gotta go out to Eastgate.”

Billy leaned on the counter again; he was trying real hard not to start hollering through the phone. Weird thing, people didn't usually like it when you did that. “Jesus. Listen, man, just do this one thing for me.”

“Hockey's on at seven,” Alan reminded him; Billy rolled his eyes. “I been out all goddamn day. I had to go out to fuckin' Bloomington two times!”

Billy didn't care how many times he'd had to go out to Bloomington. “Fixed your fuckin’ truck like three times.”

“Okay, okay, okay. Look, Hank's gotta pay me double for this shit, it’s Friday.”

Apparently cars weren’t supposed to break down on a Friday in Indiana; Billy actually got dizzy from rolling his eyes all around the shop. “Yeah, whatever, okay. He can take it out of my pay, I don't give a shit.” Miles was leaning out the office and looking at him; Alan kept on bitching about how hard it was to be the only tow truck in town.

Billy was losing the battle with himself not to holler. “Jesus fuck, can you fuckin’ go?! It’s like four degrees out.”

“Je-sus Christ,” Alan whined his head off. Billy ddn't know how the fuck he was gonna drive with no head but that wasn't his problem.

“It's the fancy Beamer out on 22.”

Alan bitched for about four more minutes and Billy finally got off the phone with him. Miles came out with the radio to kill him; they were playing that faggy Eddie Money song now. “Who needs a tow?”

“My friend's car broke down,” Billy told him.

“Bill! I didn't know you had friends!” Miles said in fairy delight, teasing him like a shitheel. With great restraint Billy managed not to roll his eyes out of his own goddamn head.

It took about forty minutes for the tow to get back with Harrington and Billy was forced to hang around the front and make conversation with Miles. He actually watched hockey which was surprising; he also supported the Penguins too which was a goddamn tragedy.

“Pittsburgh ain't done shit for like four years.”

“Gotta support the home team,” Miles said. He was sitting on the counter with his bandana and he did not look cute as shit like Elijane had a couple weeks ago; he looked like a fairy. Billy thought back to Hank telling him not to bring any girls to the shop and wanted to laugh. He probably hadn't meant twelve-year-olds with fuckin' mind powers.

“What the fuck you move out here for?”

Miles made a stupid face. “Don't you know, I followed a man.”

“Jesus Christ,” Billy said. “Why you gotta say that shit to me?”

Miles laughed at him. “I followed my brother, you little asshole. His wife was from Indianapolis.”

“Oh yeah.” Billy didn't feel like talking about Hank when he wasn't here to interject with a smartass comment. Not like he'd make a smartass comment about his own wife. “She died, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, she had cancer, about twelve years ago. It was real bad.”

Billy definitely didn't feel like talking about that. “Usually is.”

The tow truck came rumbling along with Harrington and his car; Miles glittered back on into the office and Billy went out on the street to go yell his head off. “The fuck you pulling out front for, go around the back, shithead.”

Steve got out of the truck cab; Alan put the truck back into gear and blew some cigar smoke at them. He looked like a fuckin' cartoon villain; he even had a handlebar mustache. “Pleasure talking to you as always, Hargrove.”

Billy ignored him. “Don't fucking dent that car, you asshole, costs more than your life.” Alan put his middle finger up and started driving down the alleyway. Billy grabbed Steve's shoulder and led him into the shop. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks.” Harrington didn't look okay; he looked pretty tired and miserable, about what you'd expect someone to look like when their car broke down on a Friday night. He also looked about half frozen; Billy reached out and rubbed his shoulders for a couple seconds before he realized he was definitely being way too queer.

“Yeah. Lemme go look at your car.”

“Okay.” Steve was just looking at him with his hands in his pockets.

Billy took Steve back into the garage with him; he hollered at Alan until he went away and then he took Steve's car keys and opened up the hood. He'd already known what was wrong with it before he'd even got the keys really. “Yeah, you blew out your head gasket.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve said; he was trying hard to look like he knew what that was and Billy tried not to grin at him. “Is that bad?”

“Nah, happens a lot. Easy fix.”

“How do you fix it?”

“Buy another one, put it in,” Billy told him.

Steve was smiling; he had his 'Billy-is-amusing' face on again now. “Oh, okay, right. I guess you can do that?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Billy told him. “Ain't you notice it was overheatin'?”

Steve looked like a guilty puppy. “Um, yeah, it does that sometimes, usually I ignore it til it goes away.”

“Jesus Christ, Harrington!” Billy exploded. “You don't deserve this fucking car.” Steve laughed at him because he was an asshole. Billy growled; he leaned over stretched with his hands on the hood and looked down at the engine. _Usually I ignore it til it goes away,_ Jesus God. He tried to calm himself down. “Oh, my god, okay,” he said. “Don't worry, Daddy’s gonna take care of you, baby,” he whispered down lovingly to the Beamer.

Steve made a sound like he was choking and Billy scowled. “Fucking what?”

“Uh, nothing,” Steve said in a weird voice. Billy looked over at him; Steve was staring back with a weird expression too. He smiled and bit his lip; fucking Christ Billy'd take care of him too. “Do you want me to leave you guys alone?” Steve asked, teasing him.

Billy rolled his eyes and took his hands off the hood. Harrington was still staring at him; Billy started checking out the rest of the car to avoid his gaze. Everything else seemed okay. He checked the oil and the strip came out bone dry; Billy once again battled with himself to not yell his head off. Mostly he lost. “STEVE!” he roared. His pendant clinked against the engine in a very insulted way. “When the fuck's the last time you changed your oil?”

Steve looked like a guilty puppy once again. “Um,” he said and made a great face. “Well I had a tune-up last year.” He thought about it. “Uh. No I didn't, I had a swim meet.”

Billy’d liked to have been at that swim meet. Also: “Oh my fucking god,” he said. “You total asshole, you're going to ruin your goddamn engine!” Truly Steve could hurt him like no other. “What kinda oil she take?”

Steve made another great face. “Does that matter?”

“HAHA!” Billy said in agony. “NOT ANYMORE!” He went off towards the front and came back with a couple half-gallons. “Oh my god, don't have to change your fuckin' oil because there's none in it,” he lamented. “Okay, from now on you put 20 in it.” Steve stared at him. “Okay, actually, nevermind, you just let me do it.”

Steve laughed at him; he stood and watched while Billy grumbled over his car. “Jesus Christ,” Billy said again in great pain. “You know, your car isn't Christine or some shit, it don't fix itself.”

Steve laughed at him being a total nerd which truly Billy felt was a rude way to treat your mechanic; after another couple minutes he finished and closed the hood. They went back out to the front of the shop. Miles was still glittering away and closing up the little office. “You leaving?” Billy asked him before he could start up his queer shit.

Miles started up his queer shit anyway; he was grinning again as he put on his jean jacket with all the patches on it. “I'm going, I’m going. I wanted to see this mystery boyfriend you spent half your paycheck on getting a tow for,” he said like a total shithead.

Steve looked startled; Billy lamented his life. “What, are you serious?”

“He's exaggeratin'.”

Miles laughed at him in fairy delight. “Hank's not really gonna charge you,” he said.

Billy thought about it. “You think he can come in and order a part for me tomorrow?”

“My brother? Coming in on a Saturday?” Miles was walking to the door.

Billy'd figured. “Yeah. Okay.”

Steve had a weird look on his face as Miles left the shop. “Um … is he … ?”

Billy'd thought that just about the whole state of Indiana knew that Miles was gay; Hank'd told him the story about how it'd been some big deal when they'd opened up the shop together in the seventies. You didn't even need to look at Miles to figure he was queer, just had to follow the trail of glitter.

“Yeah, he's fuckin' gay,” Billy said shortly. “Why, that bother you?”

“Uh, no. I just was curious.”

“He's okay,” Billy said. “Likes terrible music like you, you guys should talk.”

Steve rolled his eyes; he was smiling. “Yeah, uh, my dad would really love that.”

Billy didn't say anything for a couple seconds. He wondered if that was the reason why their usual mechanic was all the way out in Columbus. “You ready to go or what?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.”

“Okay.” Billy got all his keys together and they went out to the Camaro. Once again he felt weird with Steve there; he didn't know what to say around him now and that usually didn't happen. He sat in the driver's seat. “Sorry, you ain't gonna have her back for most of the week, can't order the part til Monday.”

“Shit,” Steve said. “I mean, no, yeah, I knew that.”

“Probably take like two or three days to get here, I can put it in for you right away.” Steve was staring at him again; Billy didn't know why. He thought about it. “How you gonna get to work?”

“Shit,” Steve said again. He was playing with his seat belt; he hadn't clicked it in yet. “Um, I dunno. I guess my dad will actually have to come home, I can get a ride with him I guess.”

“He ever home or what?”

Steve made a face even though he'd just said it. “Yeah, of course he's home. I mean, he usually comes in in the morning and shit, he has to get ready.”

“Where's he usually at?” Billy said.

“He has this second office out in Columbus, he usually – he's been – he stays there a lot. Most nights.”

“Oh. The fuck's he do there?”

“I don't know.” Steve looked really annoyed; Billy didn't know if it was at him. “I don't know, cheats on my mom?”

Billy stared. “What, you serious?”

“I don't know,” Steve snapped again. He still looked annoyed; he ran one hand through his crazy hair and crossed his arms around his stomach. “I mean – I mean he has. Like when I was, like, I don't know, twelve or thirteen I guess.”

“Your mom just cool with that?”

“Uh, we don't really sit around the fuckin' table and talk about it,” Steve said. “I think he – I mean, I think they have, like.” His lip curled. “An _arrangement._ ”

Billy made a face. “Christ.”

“Yeah. Yeah it's great. It's really great. Pretty sure 'working late' is code for 'banging your secretary,' I don't know how people – “ He stopped talking.

“That sucks, man,” Billy told him. “What about your mom, can you take her car?”

“I dunno.” Steve was chewing on his lower lip; Billy watched him do it. “Look, I don't want you to think – my mom's okay and all.”

“Ain't say nothing about your mom.”

“She is real big into charities these days, she is out running like four organizations. And she's – uh, she goes to see her family a lot, a couple years ago her sister had – “ He stopped for a moment. “She had … uh, she had … “ He said it all slow: “She had … cancer … so – “

“Oh my god, you can fuckin' say the word, I ain't gonna start crying,” Billy told him. A lot of people had cancer; he'd been knowing that.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I know that, asshole, I'm just saying.”

“She okay and all?”

“My aunt? Yeah, she's fine, it was like a tumor on her kidney, she had surgery. My mom is usually with her, I don't wanna, like, take her car. Um, I'll figure something out. I can take the train or something.”

“Train's like two miles from your house.”

“I'll figure it out.”

Billy thought about it. “Can pick you up if you want.”

Instantly Steve looked weird as shit. He was still playing with his seatbelt like he was considering bolting from the car. “Uh, no. That's okay.”

“Can't take you in, I gotta take Max to school, I can come get you if you want.”

“Uh, you don't have to do that.”

“It ain't a problem.”

Steve was still hesitating.“No ... no, that's okay. Don't you have work?”

“Can go in late for like three days, it don't matter.”

“Yeah, I don't, uh, want to bother you. I'll figure it out.”

Jesus Christ Harrington was a difficult bitch; Billy sighed in his head. “Look, we ain't even been hanging out, lemme fuckin' get you.”

“Umm.” Steve was still biting his lip and playing with his pretty hair; Billy was gonna kill himself in two seconds. “You don't mind?”

“I'm doing shit else, just let me get you.” Steve stared at him; he had the frown-wrinkle now so Billy said, “I wanna get you.” It was the only way he'd ever say it.

Steve finally clicked his seatbelt into place. “I – yeah, okay,” he said.

“Jesus Christ.” Billy put the Camaro in drive; he felt relieved. “Makin' me fucking beg to drive you around, man, I don't like that shit. Next time I tell you I'm gonna do something just let me fuckin' do it.”

Steve had his Billy-is-amusing face back on in two seconds; he was such an inconsiderate bitch as well. “I thought you just did what you wanted anyway.”

“That's debatable,” Billy said like Sinclair or Wheeler Jr. He scowled at himself. He never got to do what he really wanted anyway.

They drove on down the main drag; the radio was real quiet but they were playing the Steve Miller Band so Billy felt okay. Steve ran his hands through his hair; Billy wasn't noticing it. Steve asked before they turned down the street for his house, “Uh, so are you – doing anything? Do you wanna do something?”

Billy lamented his life; of course he wanted to do something. “Told Max I'd watch a bunch of movies with her.” It was a pretty embarrassing plan for a Friday night; he almost didn't want to say it. Susan had been working til past midnight all this week and Billy'd been in charge of supervising Max (“ _NOT_ BABYSITTING,” Max had yelled her head off on Monday morning like a huge baby). Billy hadn't pointed out that he'd been fucking supervising Max for way over four years now. He looked at the clock on his dashboard. “Actually was supposed to be back like an hour ago.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve said. “Sorry. I, uh – that's nice that you guys do that.”

“Yeah, it's a great way to spend a Friday night, watching movies with my kid sister.” There wasn't even any fucking beer in the house.

“Huh, thought she wasn't your sister.” Steve sounded like he was smiling.

“Whatever, you know what I mean,” Billy snapped. He was thinking. Steve at home by himself on a Friday night made him feel even worse than himself being stuck at home watching movies with his little sister. _Stepsister_. “S'a bunch of horror movies, you should come watch 'em with us,” he said.

“Uh, that's okay. I don't want to – “

Billy interrupted him before he could start with his 'I don't want to bother you' shit; Jesus he must have done a fucking number on Harrington. He hadn't thought he was important enough to do a fucking number on Steve and he felt like a piece of shit again. “Come fucking watch them with us, I'll hold your hand.” He said, “We miss ya.”

“You're an asshole,” Steve told him. He paused for a second. “Okay, I'll come over.”

“You need something from your house?”

Steve looked at him for a minute. “Uh, I guess I need my glasses.” Billy started grinning. “My _fucking_ eyes hurt, you're an asshole,” Steve told him again.

“Didn't say a goddamn word.”

Steve stretched out in the passenger seat. “At this point you don't even have to.”

Billy drove Steve to his house; he sat in the car and watched him run in. Steve was inside for a long time, long enough for Billy to start thinking he'd ditched him. Finally Steve came back out; he was wearing jeans now and the amazing glasses and Billy rejoiced.

“Sorry, my mom was actually home, she was talkin' to me,” Steve told him, getting back into the car. “She remembered you and Max from the diner, she thought you were about twenty-three goddamn years old.”

“That's great.”

“My mom's cool, you'd like my mom,” Steve told him. “You both like to make fun of me til I fuckin' die, you'd get along great. She said you and Max have to come over for dinner one night.”

“Me'n Max don't do too well in the general public,” Billy told him; Steve grinned.

It was getting pretty late but they stopped at Mike's to get a pizza to try and subdue Maxine's wrath; it was nearing nine o'clock by the time they finally pulled up in front of Billy's shithole house. All the lights were off inside aside from the flickering screen of the TV in the living room and it looked real ominous. Steve and Billy sat looking at the flickering light in true slight terror.

“Jesus Christ, I can fuckin' feel her bein' pissed off,” Billy said. “Can you feel it?”

“Yeah, I can hear it too, it's this low hum in the air. Like – ah, start of a horror movie soundtrack,” Steve said; Billy grinned at him. They got out of the car and went to meet their fate.

They went up the driveway and Billy opened up the door; it was unlocked like usual when Max was home. “Ass-face, what I tell you about this fuckin' door?”

The TV flickered ominously. Max whipped her head around from the couch like she was in _The Exorcist;_ she was scowling like Billy'd expected. “YOU SAID SEVEN-THIRTY, YOU DOUCHEBAG.” Then she took pause. “Oh. Hi Steve.”

“Hey, Max. We brought you a pizza.” Steve came around the couch in slight true terror to sit next to her. “Sorry, it's my fault. My car broke down.”

Billy sat down on the other side of her; he guessed it was safer that way. “Harrington didn't have a lick of oil in his fuckin' car,” he told her.

Max whipped her head around like _The Exorcist_ again. “STEVE! You total asshole, you're going to ruin your engine!” Steve started laughing for some reason.

“What movies you get me?” Billy asked her.

Max bounced up off the couch and bounded into the kitchen. “Okay, so 1985 was not a good year for me and you, it was a good year for horror though.” She showed him the tapes all proud; she'd gotten _Day of the Dead, Reanimator,_ and _Return of the Living Dead_.

“Oh Jesus,” Steve said, looking at the covers.

“Told you I'd hold your hand,” Billy told him; Steve laughed and Max made her fish face at him. She put _Reanimator_ on, then took about half the pizza and went to her spot on the smaller couch. She was still giving Billy a big look which he ignored. They watched _Reanimator_ for a couple minutes.

“Steve, are you going to Billy's basketball game tomorrow?” Max yapped even though she'd just screamed at Harrington twice to stop talking. “It's his first game!”

Steve looked up from the dead cat on the screen. “Oh, yeah. Sure, I'm going.”

“You should just stay here tonight, it's already late,” Max informed him; Jesus she was a piece of work.

“Um,” said Steve.

“Okay, he don't have to stay over,” Billy told her.

“Billy's girlfriend used to stay over all the time, she'd sleep in my room!” Max declared.

“Oh my god, that was my old room anyway, you shithead!” Billy reminded her. Tracey'd slept over like four times when Billy's old man hadn't been there; that didn't count as all the time. Anyway Steve was definitely not his girlfriend.

“I didn't even want your room!” Max shot back; she was such a liar. She'd loved his big closet. Hahahaha, he thought now.

“Why did she get your room?” Steve asked him.

“Was bigger.”

“Neil made me take it when we moved in!” Max continued yapping. “The spare bedroom smelled weird, and the window was creepy!”

“Yeah, it smelled weird 'cause my mom was fucking dying in in,” Billy snapped. Steve had been smiling but he stopped smiling; Maxine also looked similarly stricken.

“What?”

“What?” Billy said; fucking Christ the two of them made him say too much shit. “She fuckin', she stayed in there. Smelled like her medication.” Some of the stuff they'd gave her had smelled like that cherry cough syrup; he still couldn't take that shit. The room had also just fucking smelled like her after she'd gotten sick, maybe from her chemo. It radiated off of her like a battery or something, was terrible. He didn't want to talk about that or think about that. He looked at Max. “Anyway Steve ain't staying in your room, you shithead.”

Max had been lookin' all sad and shit but now she instantly just looked like the biggest gremlin in the world even though it wasn't yet midnight. “No, he can stay in yours,” she said sweetly.

Steve looked kind of amused again with them going on at each other. “I don't have to stay over,” he said to Max.

“Why not? You don't have a car, we'll just have to get you in the morning anyway.”

“Oh, well I – “ Steve looked perplexed.

“You can stay over if you want, my dad ain't here,” Billy told him.

“Oh, okay. Sure,” Steve said. Over the loveseat Max looked like a true demon; Billy could tell she was seein' George Michael again.

Steve yelled his head off at the end of _Reanimator_ ; he remained traumatized all throughout the credits. Max and Billy kept laughing at him.

“You really don't like this stuff, you know it's not real right?” Max asked him.

“Yeah I _know_ it's not real,” Steve said like a sulky bitch (hell yeah that was Billy's sulky bitch). “There's enough horrible shit out there, why you wanna watch this stuff?”

Max looked at him like he was dumb. “It's more fun when it's not real.”

“That's debatable,” Steve said like Sinclair or Wheeler Jr; Billy laughed at him. It was a little easier not to want him so bad when Max was around to be a shithead. Not completely gone but it was manageable; Billy wasn't popping a boner or anything. Anyway he'd eaten too much pizza to think about sex with Steve. Did it count as sex when you just wanted your friend's prick in your mouth? Haha. Steve Steve Steve. Billy shifted on the couch and stared at the TV screen.

They put on _Day of the Dead_ next; Steve made fun of the soundtrack for a while and then passed out at eleven-thirty anyway. When the movie ended Maxine got up and starting poking at him. Steve snorted and batted her arm without opening his eyes.

“Jesus, he's worse than Pop-Pop!” Max exclaimed; Billy laughed his head off.

“Leave 'im alone, he don't sleep good.”

Max made a face. “All he does is sleep here, are you going to tuck him in again?”

“Fuckin' hate you,” Billy reminded her. Max just looked at him and went and got the last slice of pizza.

 

Max stuffed her face full of pizza like a troll and went to bed; Billy went into the bathroom and took a shower (he thought about Harrington making fun of him and didn't put any socks on after). When he came back out Steve was still sleeping away; Billy went into his room and got him a pillow and a blanket. He shook Steve's shoulder. “Hey.”

Steve sat up and looked all surprised. He took his glasses off his face. “Oh. Thanks.” He took the pillow and jammed it behind his head; he looked like a little kid with his hair all crazy. “Did you finish the movie?”

“Yeah, everybody died. S'pretty late, you okay out here?”

“Yep. Thanks.” Steve settled down in his blanket.

Billy went back into his room and went to bed; he felt weird as fuck with Harrington out on his couch. It was too close or something. Anyway he was real tired; holy shit he'd had to talk to a lot of annoying people today. He woke up way too early in the morning to Steve shaking his shoulder and asking him if he could borrow a T-shirt; “Mmmmyeah?” Billy said and wrapped his arms back around his pillow.

He finally woke up again and rolled out of bed around ten; his basketball game was at one and it was an hour away. Out in the kitchen Susan was drinking coffee and Max was eating a shit-ton of food like usual; Steve was sitting on their counter lookin' like a magazine ad. His hair was wet like he'd taken a shower and was sticking up all crazy like Nick Cave's hair. He was wearing the amazing glasses and Billy's Dead Kennedys t-shirt; Billy stared at him.

Susan was drinking her coffee. “You're up before eleven on a Saturday? I don't believe it.”

Billy rubbed his face. “Okay, all right, that's cute.”

“Mom came home at two in the morning and threw her coat on Steve, she didn't even notice him!” Max yapped.

Billy sat down at the table and eyed Max's plate of eggs skeptically; they had a weird orange tint to them and looked like Susan's handiwork. “Yeah, Harrington's the resident coat rack around here,” he said; Steve laughed and Max gave them a weird look. “Susie Q, did you make these eggs?” Max made a face like always at Billy calling her mom Susie Q like it wasn't the best goddamn song ever written.

“I don't need any comments,” Susan told him.

“Didn't say a goddamn thing yet.”

“Billy!” said Susan at him swearing. Max said, “They're not _that bad_ today.”

Billy choked down the eggs; Max kept laughing at him so he made a big production out of it. Steve gave him some toast so he choked on that too.

“I cannot deal with you two this morning, it's only been fifteen minutes,” Susan said; she wasn't really mad. She swept off to the living room to kill them and watch _Little House on the Prairie_ and Max and Steve and Billy fucked around in the kitchen for a while. Max was washing dishes and handing them to Steve to dry.

“Did you sleep okay, Steve, Billy was really concerned about you,” Max said; Billy thought up eight ways to kill her on the spot.

Steve had his Max-is-amusing face on; he looked so goddamn good sitting on the counter. “Yeah, I was okay.”

They got ready and said goodbye to Susan; she had to go back into work at three. On the drive there Max sweetly informed Billy that Henderson and Sinclair were coming and taking the school bus, something to look forward to. “The fuck, where's my boy Byers at?” Billy said. At least Wheeler Jr wasn't coming.

“I think he said he's going to a concert with Joooonathan,” Max said like a shithead; Steve made a face.

The basketball game was out at Bloomington High School. Billy parted with Harrington and Max and went to get changed; he let the coach yell at him for a while not to be an asshole. Once again he felt pretty jazzed up: he was playing basketball and Steve was wearing his t-shirt and it was going to be a good weekend. Since he had Harrington and his little cheerleaders on the bleachers he tried his hardest not to be an asshole. He scored about ten points and only knocked over two people. Henderson screamed his dumb shit like usual; even over all the commotion he could hear Sinclair bitching his head off. Henderson said, “Steve, what the hell are you wearing?”

After the game they went and got food with the creepy kids at a diner in town. Max declared that Billy played a good game and so he should get double fries; like usual she was too supportive.

“I'm gonna get fucking fat eating all this shit,” Billy said and ordered double fries anyway.

“You look great, man,” Steve said.

Maxine made a huge fish face and leaned with her elbows on the table. “Yeah, you look great, man,” she echoed like a shithead. Billy rolled his eyes and kicked her hard under the table.

“Ow!” said Lucas; Max grinned.

Henderson annoyed the fuck out of everybody taste-testing all the food; he had some kinda crazy ratings system. Lucas kept rolling his eyes and telling him what an idiot he was. Sinclair was such a goddamn sourpuss and Billy got a big kick out of him honestly. Billy drove them home and dropped the kids off at Henderson's; he knew that Max and Lucas were planning to sneak off somewhere but he ignored this fact.

He drove Harrington home finally; it was past seven and dark out now. He kinda didn't want to let him go and that was stupid. He'd got a lot of hours with Steve this weekend already and he was gonna get more on Monday and the rest of the week.

Steve fiddled with his seatbelt and unclicked it. “Thanks for hangin' out with me,” he said like always. “Uh, thanks for takin' me around and all.”

Billy looked over at him and wanted to kiss him; he really wanted to. He'd thought about kissing Steve plenty of times and in a couple different ways but this was the first time he actually had to stop himself from doing it, he tried real hard. He could see himself doing it, clearer than a memory Elijane'd send through him. He could just lean over and do it. He saw himself doing it. Wouldn't even shove Steve around, he'd do it real nice. Put his hand on Steve's shoulder; he was wearing Billy's t-shirt after all. Maybe he'd get in a good two or three seconds before Harrington knocked him the fuck out.

Of course he couldn't really do it. God he couldn't really do it. Billy leaned back and laid his head against his seat. “Whatever,” he said.

Steve's eyebrows went down; Billy realized he was being a grade-A douchebag in two seconds. “What you doin' tomorrow, you wanna do something?” he asked to try and save it.

“Uh, that's okay, man.”

“Can bring Max over, we ain't doin' shit,” Billy told him. “She's been waiting to eat all your goddamn food again.”

“I'm not doing anything.” Steve was chewing on his lip. “Uh, you guys can come over if you want.”

“Can bring you over some more tapes that don't fuckin' suck.”

“Okay.”

“Hockey game’s on at two, I want to watch it on your big TV,” Billy told him.

“Okay,” Steve said again. He had his Billy-is-amusing face on; Billly didn't mind it. “Yeah, if you want. Sounds good.”

Billy wanted. “I'll call you.”

* * *

 

School took about a thousand years to go by like it did every Monday. Billy left basketball practice a little early and drove Max home. He'd already called Hank from the school payphone and told him he'd be a little late; apparently Miles had gone and told Hank all about the BMW already anyway.

“Bill, is that Steve Harrington's fancy Beamer?” Hank asked him; everyone in town knew who the Harringtons were. “I didn't know yous were friends. He a nice guy?”

“He's okay,” Billy said.

When he and Max got in Susan was home from her job already, eating ice cream out of the carton on the couch. She looked a little guilty as they came in through the living room. “You guys are home early, do you have work?” she asked Billy.

Max answered for him because she was a shithead. “Billy has to go pick his _boyfriend_ up from out in Columbus,” she said.

“ _Maxine!_ ” Susan said; she flicked her ice cream spoon at Max. “Don't talk that way. Steve seems like such a nice boy.”

“How'd you know it was Steve?” Max asked like a gremlin. Then she scowled and turned her hysteria up to about a three. “Wait, okay, so if he was queer, he wouldn't be nice anymore?”

“I didn't say that. Don't say that word!”

“Uh, _Neil_ says it. Are you homophobic, Mom?!” Max demanded at a level five.

Billy ignored them; he didn't know what the hell was up with everyone thinking they were so funny this month calling Harrington his boyfriend. Fucking boyfriend. It's not like Billy got any kisses or a finger up his ass or anything. Jesus God. He choked on the bottle of water he was drinking; Max and Susan stopped arguing about whether Max should be allowed to say 'queer' or not and stared at him from the couch.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yup,” Billy croaked. He got himself under control. “Okay, I'm goin'.”

“Don't have too much fun,” Max said; Billy thought up eight more ways to kill her on the spot.

He drove himself out to Columbus. It was about a half hour way – 'More like twenty minutes the way you drive,” Harrington'd said like a fucking grandpa yesterday when he'd given Billy directions eight times. Columbus was supposed to be some kinda little city but it still all looked like _Little House on the Prairie_ shit out here to Billy. Steve worked in a huge office building in an industrial complex; Billy got there a couple minutes before five-thirty just in case Harrington got out early and lost his fucking mind thinkin' Billy'd forgot him or some shit.

He got out of the Camaro and leaned against the door smoking for a while; Steve came out a few minutes later. He was pulling his tie off and talking to an older lady with a bunch of blonde hair piled on top of her head and he smiled when he saw Billy.

“Hey, you look cool as shit out here smoking and waitin' for me,” Steve told him once he'd came over; he was still smiling. Billy had no clue whether Harrington was making fun of him or not so he didn't answer right away. He was usually smoking and waiting for Steve it felt like.

“That your old lady with the copy machine?”

Steve was getting into the car. “Yeah, that's Linda, did you hear the stupid shit she was saying to me?”

“Thought she'd be older.”

“I think she is about fifty, she's got this kid who's twenty-five and ignores her,” Steve told him. “I think I am like her surrogate office son, where'd you think I got all those amazing Christmas sweaters?”

“Oh my god, man,” Billy said in true delight.

Steve was messing around with his radio; he looked happy even though he'd just shared incriminating information about himself. “Thought you'd like that. Did you get new speakers or something? Sounds really good.”

“Jane did one of her magic tricks on it,” Billy told him; he was pulling the car out of the parking lot.

Steve stared at him blankly for a second; Billy remembered he definitely hadn't told him about that. “What, really? When'd she do that?”

“Came in to see me at work one night when I was in the back, talking 'bout she saw me.”

Steve made a great face. “Uh, okay, that's not weird, what do you mean she saw you? Like in her – “ he made a crazy hand gesture – “in her _mind?_ ”

“Guess so.”

“Jesus. Sorry, yeah, that's kinda creepy.”

“Yeah it was,” Billy admitted. “Kinda scared the shit out of me, she just blew the door open with her fuckin' powers. Came in at like ten at night saying she seen me. Freaky stuff.” He didn't feel like telling Steve all the other shit, that was just for him. _I thought you'd understand. The bad feeling._

“I can imagine, God. You think she's got like – a, a radar or something?” Steve made another face and looked out the window. “Jesus, I really hope she can't freakin' see what I'm doing at ten at night.”

“What you usually doing at ten at night, Harrington?” Billy asked and then wished he hadn't; it felt too much like flirting.

Steve didn't miss a beat. He was still looking out the window. “On a regular night? Usually eating string cheese out of the fridge in my underwear. Friday nights, you know, I slide into the room with my socks on like I'm in, uh, _Risky Business._ ”

Billy laughed. “Oh my god, stop, you're turning me on.”

Steve started laughing too and he looked over at Billy. He was smiling and it made Billy realize that Steve hadn't been looking at him too much lately, not like he'd used to or whatever. He didn't know how he hadn't realized that Steve looked at him too. “You ain't do that at my house on Friday.”

“I didn't want to embarrass Max or anything,” Steve said. He was still looking at him. Billy was starting to feel weird again; it still felt too much like flirting. Steve just leaned over like nothing and started messing around with the radio, dialing through the channels.

“HA!” he said all loud when he found a song he liked; Billy sighed internally because he knew what was coming. Steve got a serious expression on his face and he started singing. He told Billy, “ _I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time._ ”

“Okay, that what we're doing now?”

“ _When you're standing oh so near, I kinda lose my mind,_ ” Steve informed him. He was grinning like a shithead.

“All right, yeah.” Billy drove on; Steve sang him the song. He did some impressive air guitar too, at one point he hit Billy in the face and almost made him drive off the goddamn road. “Fuckin' shit, Steve!”

“ _I GUESS YOU'RE JUST WHAT I NEEDED,_ ” Steve told him. Then he looked sulky. “You know, Dustin usually backs me up on drums,” he said pointedly.

“I'm driving,” Billy reminded him.

“ _It's not the perfume that you wear. It's not the ribbons in your haaaair._ ” Steve flicked his earring; Billy smacked his arm away.

“I'M DRIVING,” he said again; Steve laughed at him. He looked pleased with himself when the song ended, then he looked slightly less pleased. He said, “Sorry, I'm just being stupid. I can stop if you want. I used to, I annoyed the crap out of Nancy doing this shit. I can stop.”

Billy didn't know why the hell he was being compared to Nancy Wheeler. “You annoy the crap out of me all the goddamn time,” he informed Steve. “And here I still am, the fuck.”

Steve grinned at him; Billy reminded himself that he needed to be looking at the road. Steve messed around with the radio again until he found a station he liked. He was still grinning. “Hey Bills, did you know that _some people call me a space cowboy?_ ”

“Okay, you can't actually annoy me with this one, I like this song.”

“ _Some people call me Maurice,_ ” Steve informed him. “' _Cause I speak of the pompitous of love._ Is that a real word?”

“Think he made it up for the song.”

“Huh. I guess you can do that.”

“Can do anything if you're Steve Miller,” Billy said. Steve Steve Steve. Steve sang his song.

 

Tuesday he went to work and picked Steve up and then went back to work; Wednesday he had off and he and Steve went out to the mall at Eastgate so's Billy could buy the next Narnia book for El. Steve looked around at all the little kid books; he looked pretty tired again and didn't even make fun of Billy for reading the back cover of _The Neverending Story_. He still sang a couple of faggy songs on the way home though. Apparently Harrington had a thing for Genesis; Billy was still trying to figure out what to do with this sensitive information.

They went on back to Billy's house; Max had her friend Beverly over and they were being terrible girls watching _Dynasty_ so he and Steve went into his room. Steve sat on his bed and Billy tried not to think about pinning him down on it. He started looking through his tapes. He bet Steve'd like that one song by the Germs; everyone did. He found a shoebox he'd forgotten under his bed; it was from a pair of his Converse and he and Tracey'd covered the box with stickers like fuckin' kids one year. “Oh shit!” he said. He was laying on his floor and Steve was looking down at him.

“What's that, secret Billy stuff?” Steve asked him like a weirdo. “Is it your pornos?”

Steve was a total asshole; it didn't matter if Billy wanted to lick his face. “I don't have any porn, you shithead,” Billy told him. It was the truth after all. Back in Riverside his old man'd used to go through his room about once a month. He'd had to keep his weed and smokes and any important books at Tracey's house; once Maxine'd carried a pack of cigarettes around for him in her backpack for three days acting like the littlest CIA agent.

He opened up his shoebox; he guessed it was some secret Billy stuff anyway. It was mostly a lot of old pictures from when he'd been a kid. He'd have to transfer his and Max's horrible Christmas photo into it – it couldn't stay in his English book forever. A keychain someone'd given him; he didn't know why he had that. Some old theater stubs from movies he and Max'd seen and their Def Leppard tickets. Folded up cover of a Cheap Trick tape that he'd wrote some dirty romantic shit to Tracey on; he didn't know why he had that either. The letter she'd wrote him when she was eleven and his mom had died. Her big sloping handwriting made him smile. It was so faded now; you almost couldn't see the ink. Tracey’d always wanted him; she was the only person who’d ever really wanted him. She’d wanted him even though there was so much wrong with him.

“Oh my god, is that a love letter?” Steve asked. He sounded all excited like a girl.

“Yeah, you wanna see it?”

“Okay.”

Billy stared at him. He handed him the letter. It wasn't really a love letter; it was okay if Steve looked at it he guessed. Steve looked at it. “Oh, Jesus.”

“S'about five or six years old.”

“Shit, I'm sorry. Why'd you show me this?” Steve said. He was still looking at it anyway. He said, a lot quieter: “Man, this girl really liked you.”

Billy didn't say anything for a couple seconds; he didn't know why he'd thought he should show Steve the letter. Being around Harrington and feeling the way he did made him forget about how he'd felt about Tracey. They'd been kids anyway. He knew he was fucking queer now anyway – he knew that now – but he'd really liked her too. That was his girl; she'd been his best friend he guessed. “You wanna see a picture of her?”

“Yeah, you got one?”

Billy looked through his box of secret stuff. “Oh, here's my mom!” he said. He always got jazzed up seeing his mom. He handed Steve the picture; it was an old Polaroid, probably from when Billy'd been about four or five. His mom sitting on the couch in a fancy dress. Must've been some kinda holiday.

“Oh, wow, man,” Steve said. He was looking at the picture; he shifted around and slid off the bed. He sat down on the floor next to Billy. “Hey, she was really pretty. She looks like you.”

“She was pro'lly like twenty-two or some shit there.” Billy was still looking through the box of secret Billy stuff. He pulled out another photo. “Me 'n Max's first Christmas.” Billy and Max were sitting together on the same couch from the last picture and were both glaring up a storm; Max looked small as shit and was wearing some hideous pink sweater Susan'd just bought her. Her little eyes were so big, even all squinty-scowly. Susan really did buy always Max pink stuff.

Steve took that picture too and smiled. “Holy shit! How old were you?”

Billy made a face. “Uh – yeah, year after my mom died, guess I was like fourteen?”

“Cool, that's what you looked like at fourteen?” Steve said loudly. “Okay I'm not showing you my yearbook after all, you're like supernaturally good-looking.”

That made him feel good even though Steve didn't mean it the way Billy wanted him to. “Stop flirting with me, it ain't gonna get you nowhere.”

Steve rolled his eyes. He just looked at the pictures for a moment. He said, “Uh, so your mom died you were thirteen and then you – I mean, in this picture, Max and her mom lived with you guys already?”

“They wasn't hitched yet or nothing,” Billy told him.

Steve didn't answer him for a couple minutes. “That's – yeah, that's kind of fast still. I mean.”

Wasn't much else to say to that; it was just what had happened. “Max's okay sometimes though,” Billy said, even though it was dangerous to say and a threat to his whole existence since she was right out there in the living room.

“Yeah, she is.”

“Used to think I was real cool before I fucked all this shit up.”

Steve sounded like he was smiling. “She still thinks you're cool,” he said. Then he added, “Don't know _why._ ” Billy smacked him really hard in the leg; Steve laughed and kicked him in the shoulder.

“OW!” Billy smacked him again. “That's my bad arm, you shit!” Steve leaned over and punched him in his other arm. “DON'T FUCK UP MY PHOTOS!” Billy yelled like a kid; Steve laughed at him some more but he stopped hitting him.

Billy finally found the photo he wanted. He handed it over to Harrington even though Steve was being a piece of shit. In the picture he and Tracey were standing around outside of the high school; she looked happy as shit in the stupid preppy school sweatshirt Billy'd saved for a month to buy her. He was pulling her ponytail. Trace's hair and eyes were so dark; her eyes were so big. Maybe he had some kinda type after all, just not like he'd thought. “After some football game.”

“Ho-ly shit,” Steve said; he was grinning at the picture. “Oh my god, you dated Riverside's version of Nancy Wheeler, I can't believe this.”

Truly Billy felt assaulted; was probably the worst thing anyone'd said to him in his life. “Don't say that shit to me, she wasn't some rich bitch.” He thought about it. “Had a fuckin' mouth on her.” Steve opened his mouth to make a comment; Billy interrupted him before he could be a fucking asshole: “Not like _that_ , you shitbag.” Okay kinda like that too. Steve didn't need to know about that private shit though.

“I didn't say a goddamn word,” Steve said, imitating him; Billy grinned. “Okay, okay, I apologize, I take it back. She's real pretty too.” _Really pretty_ , Jane'd say if she was here. “She the only girl you slept with? Aside from your hoards of fangirls here, I mean.”

Billy rolled his eyes at him; Harrington must think he was some kinda loser. “No she wasn't the only girl I slept with, you dumbass. I guess it's at – okay, you count the four minutes with Rachel – “ Steve laughed – “yeah, there was two before her, I got four.”

“Okay, I don't feel so bad, I'm at three,” Steve told him; Billy didn't know why Steve was telling him this shit. “I mean, Nancy was the only person I slept with a lot, though.” He made a face. “Does like twice a month and a lot of bitching before and after count as a lot?”

Jesus God, Billy really didn't feel like discussing Harrington's sad sex life with him. Nancy Wheeler was a piece of work; Billy'd bet on his life she'd never even gave Steve the kinda real good real sloppy blowjob he deserved. “Man, I don't know, Tracey was like a fuckin' nympho.”

“Yeah, the way you look, I don't blame her.”

Billy stared at him.

“Oh my god, what?” Steve said, too loud. “You know you look good.”

“Do I?” Billy said. Steve laughed; he looked kind of uncomfortable. Billy couldn't stop looking at him. He was pretty sure he was gonna launch himself at Steve in another five seconds. He was gonna do it; he was so close. Steve was –

Max chose that moment to burst into his room like a shithead. “BILLY, CAN YOU TAKE ME TO DUSTIN'S?” She looked around. “Oh, sorry. What are you guys doing?”

“Nothing,” Steve said right away; he was standing up. “What do you need at Dustin's?”

“He's had my Walkman for like a week!” Max caterwauled; Billy was lamenting his life. “He already half-broke it!” She looked over at the shoebox of secret stuff. “Oh my god, are those your pictures?” She looked happy. “Did you show Steve the winter formal?”

“He don't need to see the winter formal,” Billy growled; Steve looked way too intrigued anyway. Billy sat up. Now that he knew he was queer at least a woman could never make him wear a fuckin' bowtie again. Anyway, he guessed he wasn't going to get to find out about how good Steve thought he looked. “Okay, take ya to get your shit.”

Max yapped her head off while Steve gave him the photos back and Billy secured his shoebox back under his bed; Beverly was still in the living room and they all headed out to the Camaro. “SHOTGUN!” Max yelled like a shithead. Harrington just had his Max-is-amusing face on and he squished himself into the backseat.

They dropped Beverly off first; her mom's apartment was just off of Dearborn near the main drag. Steve stretched out as best he could in the backseat while Billy and Max argued about the fastest way to Henderson's place. Dustin lived out by the woods on the opposite side of town; there was no fastest way to his house.

By the time they'd gotten to Henderson's it was a little before nine; Harrington was conked out in the backseat like a huge baby. Max was looking into the backseat and grinning. “Pop-Pop's here again,” she informed Billy; he tried not to laugh.

Maxine looked like she was gearing up to go and yell her head off; she closed the car door in a real serious way and stomped on into Dustin's house. Billy sat in the car and listened to Steve mutter in his sleep; it must be pretty bad if he was passing out in the back of Billy's car. Finally Max came out looking triumphant and pissed off and holding her Walkman. “Dustin said it ate his tape and that I owe him a new Human League, he's such a LIAR!” she went off. In the backseat, Steve twitched in his sleep in true slight terror. “I wish I had a stupid CD player, no one could borrow it then!”

“The fuck's he listening to that shit for?”

Max made a terrible face. “I don't _know_ , God I hope that stupid tape got ruined!” Billy laughed and Max looked all pleased with herself. “Did you eat yet? Should we wake up Pop-Pop?”

Billy was still laughing. “Oh my god, stop calling him that.” He thought about it; for some reason really he didn't want to wake up Harrington. “I want a milkshake, you wanna go to Dairy Queen?”

Max stared at him. “That's all the way out in Eastgate.”

“I know, you wanna go?”

“REALLY?” Max yapped all excited. “Okay! I have six dollars!”

“Jesus, don't need your six dollars,” Billy told her. He put the car in gear; Max fucked around with the magic radio and found the classic rock station. They played 'House of the Rising Sun' by The Animals and 'Time of the Season' by The Zombies; Billy felt pretty good.

Max laid her head against the window; she looked happy too. “I'm glad you like me again,” she told him.

“Who said I liked you?” Billy asked her. Max made a slight gremlin face at him. “Don't start on me with your fuckin' emotional crap, okay?”

“I'm not emotional, you are!” Max yapped.

The drive out to Eastgate took about forty minutes ('Half an hour the way you drive,” Billy could hear Steve going on in his head). They had to drive around for a while before they found the Dairy Queen; Billy saw a cool-looking bookstore and made a note of it. Once they finally got to their destination Billy parked and gave Max a few extra bucks. She went in to get their food and Billy looked at Steve in the rearview mirror; his knees were bent weird and his mouth was open. What a vision, Billy thought, cracking himself up.

Max came running back to the car and almost spilled her fucking milkshake everywhere; the Camaro shook as she got back in. Steve snorted in a very sexy way; Billy made a great face.

Billy and Max ate their fries and shot the shit; Cream was playing 'Sunshine of Your Love' on the radio and the neon light from the Dairy Queen sign was shining into the car. Max started asking him about boys; they had some kinda code now. Wasn't really a code, Max'd just say the name and Billy'd say some approximation of yes or no. If anyone asked they could just say they were talking 'bout the movies.

Max was pitching her voice a little low even still since Steve was snoring away in the backseat like some kinda sexual buffalo. “James Spader?”

Billy made a face.

“Yeah, I feel the same way. Johnny Depp?”

“Uh, you kiddin'?” They'd seen _Nightmare on Elm Street_ together.

“I knew it!” said Max. She thought about it. “Okay, big one, he was just in that hockey movie: Keanu?”

“Shit, yeah.”

Max laughed her head off as quietly as possible. “Tom Cruise?”

Billy made a face again. Even so: “I guess.”

“This is so great, you totally have a type,” Max said.

“The fuck I do.” Billy stole a couple of her fries; Max gave him the carton.

“There is this guy named Denzel Washington that was in a couple of Mom's TV movies, he is so hot,” Max yapped. She looked moony. “Really I think he and Lucas have the same brow line.” Max was an insane person.

Steve was snorting and sitting up in the backseat; Max and Billy tried hard to look like they hadn't just been talking about guys. Steve looked around. “Uh, okay, why are we at Dairy Queen?”

Max shoved a milkshake in his face. “We got you food!”

“Oh, thanks. God, are we really out in Eastgate?”

“No, they built one next to the general store while you were sleeping,” Max said like a smartass. “We didn't want to wake you up.”

“Okay, thanks. I feel like this is my second home back here, you ever gonna get my blood off your door?” Steve asked Billy. He rubbed his eyebrow. “Uh, were you guys talking about Tom Cruise?”

“No,” lied Billy and Max.

“You know, some people say I look like him.”

Maxine looked deeply skeptical. “What people?”

“Uh, okay. Firstly, my mom,” Steve said, grinning; Max and Billy started laughing at him. They gave Steve some fries.

 

Thursday night Billy took Steve to the shop with him; it was past seven but Hank hadn't told him not to bring any guys around. Anyway Billy was pretty sure Steve wasn't going to seduce him and steal the amazing wrenches. Steve sat around and watched Billy try to change out a couple of rotors on a Hyundai Pony; it'd sat all winter and they were rusted on worse than anything Billy'd ever seen.

“Sorry, get the part in for your car tomorrow, you're gonna have it back for the weekend though,” Billy said. He gave up on the rotor; he'd already broke off the fuckin' screw that held everything together.

“Yeah, that's okay,” Steve said. “Really if you don't – “ a square of light fell over him; they looked up and Elijane was standing in the doorway again like goddamn Carrie White at prom. Without all the blood that is. Actually she did have a little blood coming out her nose. “JESUS CHRIST,” said Steve.

El looked around. “Sorry,” she said. She looked at Billy. “Can I have my book?”

Billy tried hard not to act like she'd about given him a goddamn heart attack. Goddamn he needed to rig up some kinda bell for when she came in or something he guessed. “Kid, you gotta stop doing this shit to me. Why you bleedin'?”

“Did you walk here?” Steve demanded like a den dad. Elijane didn't answer either question, just kept standing in the doorway. She wiped her nose.

“Why you think I have your book?” Billy asked her.

El gave him a look. “It's in your car.”

“Jesus,” said Steve.

“Jane, you really come here for your book?” Billy asked her; she didn’t answer. “Or, uh, was you doing an escape route again?” El just gave him another look and didn't answer him again. Billy gave up. “Okay.”

He went and got her her book from the car; when he came back Steve was grilling the kid about where Hopper was and she was giving him a bunch of her non-answers. Billy gave her the book.

“Thank you,” she said. She sat down on the big tool box and started reading it; Billy guessed she was hangin' out here. Steve looked at him and Billy shrugged. He went on back to the Hyundai. He thought about it.

“Hey kid, can ya fix the radio in here for me?”

“I can try,” Elijane said. She looked up at the stereo that was sitting leaned against a folding chair; it started coming in a little clearer but not real good like it had with the car. “Sorry. I can't – I'm not that strong anymore.”

“Uh, okay, what does that mean? El?” Steve said. El didn't answer him; she was reading her book. Steve sighed with a creepy kid ignoring him like usual.

Billy finished all he could do with the Hyundai; he moved on to Steve's car. He played around under the hood some more, checked all the fluid levels. He rotated the tires; you had to do that every couple months and he was sure as shit Steve hadn't gotten that done when he was supposed to either. He went out to the front of the shop for brake pads and changed the ones on the front. 'Dream On' by Aerosmith was playing on the significantly-less-static-y radio and Billy felt happy, was about his favorite song.

“Doesn't Bills look real cool workin' on my car?” Steve asked Elijane.

Kid was still reading her book; she didn't look away from the page. One little eyebrow went up though. “He is cool,” she said.

HAHA, said Billy inside his head. Jesus she jazzed him up. Finally around ten he stopped messing with Steve's car; he figured he should take Jane home before Hopper put out some kinda hit on him. “You guys wanna go?”

“Bill, can we still get Chinese food?” Steve asked him like a kid.

El was still reading her book; she turned a page. “BilLY,” she said without looking up.

“Uh, what?”

“It’s BilLY,” she told Steve without looking up. Kid really liked her 'y's; she sounded all imperious-like. Billy smiled at her without meaning too.

Steve looked amused. “Okay, _Billy_ , can we get Chinese food?” he said.

Elijane closed up her book finally. “I … had an egg roll once,” she said.

Billy thought that was a goddamn travesty; he guessed Hopper could put out the hit. “Yeah let's go,” he said.

 

Friday the part for Harrington's car finally came in. Billy skipped practice for once and went to the shop; Hank'd already put it in when he got there. “Charge me for the brake pads,” Billy told him. Somewhere out in fairyland he could hear Miles makin' a comment. Billy went and checked the car again anyway; Hank followed him into the garage shaking his head.

“You're killin' me, Bill,” he said.

“I'm just checkin' out your work.”

“You gonna go get your boy? Can leave at five if ya want.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Billy called Steve up at work to tell him his car was finally done; he felt like a flustered girl. “Steve, lemme uh, lemme ask you something.”

“Uh, yeah go ahead.”

Billy twisted the phone cord around his wrist; he felt more nervous than a fifth-grader askin' someone out for the first time. “When I come get you tonight,” he said slowly. “Can I … uh ...”

“... Yeah?” Steve waited; he sounded amused.

“Can I ... can I drive the Beamer to come get you? Can I drive her?”

Steve didn't say anything for a minute and Billy felt scared. Then Steve laughed. “Are you serious? Yeah, you can drive my car.”

“REALLY?” He felt real jazzed up in two seconds.

“Uh, yeah man.”

“OKAY COOL!” said Billy.

“You can drive it whenever you want.”

Steve Harrington was a gift from God; Billy felt it in his soul and in his cock. “OKAY SEE YA AT FIVE-THIRTY!” Billy said. He hung up. He was gonna drive the BMW!!!!

Max called the shop right before he was leaving; Hank picked up the line. “Bill, it's your kid sis,” he said. He gabbed away to Max for eighty years. Billy abandoned all hope and leaned on the counter. “Okay, lemme give you to Bill,” Hank said. He gabbed away for eighty more years; Billy felt his bones turning to dust. Finally he managed to wrestle the phone away from Hank.

“Hey, your dad's home, I'm just warning you,” Max told him all glum; Billy felt slightly less jazzed up.

“You want me to come get you? Can get food or something.”

Max lowered her voice. “Don't you want to be with Stephanie?”

Billy blinked. “Who's that?”

“It's a code name, dumbass!” Max yapped.

“Je-sus Christ,” Billy said. “Can come get you,” he told her. Fuckin' Stephanie. Max thought she was too hilarious. Anyway he did want to be with Steve, but he didn't mind being with Max and Steve. “Max,” he said. “Max, I'm gonna drive the Beamer.”

“REALLY?” said Max all excited for him. “Okay, yeah, come get me!”

He went and got Max; he was being real careful driving Steve's amazing car that cost more than his life. It took Max a couple of minutes to come on out; when he rolled the window down he could hear her hollering even through the walls of the house. She stormed out a couple seconds later and flung herself into the car.

“They didn't really want me to go out, it's Friday night!” she told Billy all angry. “Oh my god, my mom just does whatever _he_ wants all the time! She's such a slug!”

“S'easier that way.”

Max scowled up a storm like a sulky slug. “Sorry, I am _probably_ getting you in trouble somehow right now. Just by existing!”

Billy didn't care about that currently; he was driving the Beamer and they were going to get Steve. Seemed like he was always in trouble anyway, with his old man at least. “Kid, you're fine, chill out.”

“I AM CHILLED OUT!” Max yelled her head off, the least chilled out person ever. “I thought they wanted us to hang out anyway!” She scowled up a hurricane and angrily pressed the buttons on Steve's fancy radio. She found herself a Madonna song; Billy let her keep it on to calm herself down.

They got to Steve's work and Billy made Max get into the backseat. “Do you wanna drive, man?” he asked Steve sadly when he came out of the office.

Steve was going around to the passenger side; he had his Billy-is-amusing face on for some reason. He hadn't taken his tie off yet and he looked cute as shit. “You can keep drivin' me around if you want,” he said.

Billy felt happy. Steve got into the car and they started driving; Steve and Max started chatting on about some bullshit Henderson was pulling in two seconds. Billy ignored them. He didn't care about Dustin; he was driving the Beamer!

Finally Steve stopped gabbing away with Max and turned his head to look at Billy. Billy looked back at him for a second and felt struck. “What do I owe you for my car?” Steve asked.

Billy took a moment to collect himself. “Got your invoice in the glove box, you can come in and pay Hank next week.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.” Steve took out the paper and looked at it. He looked at it for a while. Billy relished the silence for a couple seconds; really Steve never shut the fuck up. Then Steve said, “Uh, this is wrong.”

“What you mean it's wrong?”

“Uh, yeah, this is, this is way too cheap.”

“I just charged you for the part, I ain't charge you to put it in.”

Steve frowned at the paper; Billy was driving so he couldn't really look over at him like he wanted to but he looked real confused. “Oh, okay, but, uh – what about all the other stuff you did to it?”

“Don't matter.”

“Uh, yeah, I saw you working on it for like three hours,” Steve said. “What about the tires, what about, uh, the brakes you put on it?”

“Brakes're like fifteen bucks, it don't matter.”

“Yeah, but – “

“Why you wanna start your shit with me?” Billy asked him; it was a serious question. “I told you I got you. You wanna make me write up another fuckin' invoice? I hate that shit.”

“Okay, okay.” Billy looked over at him; somehow Steve had the frown-wrinkle and his Billy-is-amusing face on at the same time. He had a big face so he had a lot of expressions Billy guessed. “Okay, uh, thanks. I guess I owe you again.”

“No, we're good,” Billy told him. Maxine was being suspiciously quiet in the backseat; Billy didn't dare glance in the rearview mirror to see what kinda big look she was giving him.

They decided to go to the diner to meet up with whatever creepy kids would be there. It was a Friday night so it was guaranteed at least two of 'em would be around; they were like cockroaches.

Byers and Sinclair and Henderson were all at Hathaway's yapping it up and spilling sodas everywhere. Max and Lucas ran off to sit up at the counter together all nicey-nicey holding hands; Billy was trying to ignore the show.

Billy sat down at the table. “Byers! Why ain't you come to my fuckin' game last week?”

“I'm sorry!” Byers said; he looked like a little Corgi puppy or some shit shakin' at the table. “I'll be at the next one!”

Byers had a big bruise going down the side of his face; it took a couple minutes to get the kid to admit he'd got hit earlier at school. Billy felt bad. Then he wondered why he felt bad for one of Maxine's little friends; he remembered the kid saying _We're kind of his friends!_ about him though.

Billy counted to ten to calm himself down; he spent a while eating Byers' fries and detailing some aggressive fighting tactics to the kid. Steve was sitting next to him like a den dad negating every fuckin' thing he said and Henderson was moping about waiting for his food.

“Look, kid, you remember when I knocked Harrington out last year?” Billy said; Steve made a face at him.

“I wasn't there, I was possessed,” Will reminded him.

“Oh right.” Still that was such a normal sentence. “Okay, look, you wanna punch someone in the face, you probably wanna go right for their nose – “ he grabbed Steve's face and pulled him closer – “example A, this one here's got a huge fuckin' target – “

Steve let his face be smushed. “Yep, thank you – “

“ – sometimes's good to get as many punches in as you can, though, I like to do a little trio 'round the cheekbones, pow pow pow – “ he feigned demonstrating on Steve's face –

“ – okay, yep, this is great, could ya – “

“ – but really you should go for the bridge of the nose, you gotta hit 'em right between the fuckin' eyes, it scrambles their brain and knocks 'em out real quick – “ Billy let Steve's face go and leaned across the table to pantomime cracking his fist against Byers' head; Byers laughed –

“No, nope, absolutely don't do that,” said Steve; he was the least fun person at the table.

“I don't think I could do that,” Byers said.

“You totally could,” Billy told him. “Look, you get in one good punch on these fucks, they'll leave you alone.”

“Did I leave you alone?” Steve asked him.

“Ah, for a while.” Steve smiled. Billy told Byers, “See? Brain trauma.”

Steve rolled his eyes; he was still smiling though. “You're such an asshole.”

Billy ignored Steve saying his romantic shit. “Anyway, I got you, kid. Otherwise if I'm not there, you gotta punch 'em in the face.”

Will nodded real serious. “Okay.”

“You gonna do it?”

Byers laughed a little. “I, I don't know.”

“You can do it,” Billy told him.

“No, don't do that,” Steve said. Truly Byers looked torn.

Billy looked away from the pain of Steve spoiling his night, then he did a double take. “Henderson. Why the fuck you eating a salad?”

“No, no, don't start him up,” said Steve.

Henderson started up. “Rebecca gets her driver's license in SIX DAYS, she told me we are going to go to second base in her dad's car, OR MAYBE MORE,” he told Billy.

“Goddamn, that’s forward,” Billy said; really he felt delighted for Henderson. Billy'd knew she was a junior Tracey!

“WATCH YOUR MOUTH!” Henderson yelled his head off and Billy felt less delighted; truly Henderson didn’t fear for his life anymore. “I don't have any fries for you tonight, I have got to look my best.”

Billy ate more of Will's fries. “Kid, dunno what you're gonna do about it in six days.”

“Bill!” said Steve like a den dad. He turned to Henderson. “Dustin, you look fine.”

“That's debatable,” Billy murmured; Byers snorted into his soda.

Steve gave him a look and then went on. “Look, it doesn't matter what you look like, okay? If somebody likes you for who you are, they're gonna, you know, they're gonna like what you look like no matter what.”

Dustin stared at him. “Steve! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!” He turned to Billy. “Billy, how many arm reps do you do in a day?”

“What?” Billy said; he was still eating Byers' fries. “Uh, I ain't even worked out in like two months or some shit.”

Dustin stared at him too. “GREAT, SO YOU JUST LOOK LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME?” he said.

“He's got, ah, a great metabolism,” Steve said dryly; Billy grinned at him.

“Son of a bitch,” Dustin said. He put his head in his hands. “I can't deal with this kind of pressure, I can only hold her off talking about physics for so long! Women have needs, Steve, do you know that!”

“Ohhh my god,” Billy said. He was so happy. “Steve, do you know that?”

“Calm the hell down,” Steve said to the kid. “Look, it's gonna happen when it's gonna happen. Just, uh, relax. You know. Be yourself.”

“BE MYSELF?” screamed Henderson incredulously. “OH, BE MYSELF! WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE ADVICE IS THAT?”

“Oh my god, I'm so done talking to you,” Steve told him. “Eat your fuckin' salad, you little asshole.”

“You should, um, go easy on the dressing,” Byers said like a true shithead; Billy laughed his ass off for a long time.

 

Another week went by; Saturday the 14 th  was Valentine's Day and Friday night Billy was once again forced to be tortured driving Max to the high school in another one of her fancy dresses. Neil was at home until the morning so's she couldn't meet Sinclair at the house. Billy figured it was okay if she just met him at the school.

Saturday Billy's old man left to go on his sales calls and the house felt normal again. Susan made them horrible breakfast and went to work; Max fucked off on her busted skateboard to go to the arcade and Billy fucked off to go into the shop since he hadn't been there yesterday. Miles was in the front office but he didn't bother Billy too much. It was tax season and he had about a million messy receipts in front of him and a hopeless look on his face.

Billy lovingly tidied up the wrenches again; for some reason Hank'd pulled out the whole engine of a Ford truck and Billy messed around with it for a while, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. About everything it seemed. He was embarrassing himself singing along to some Heart song when Miles wandered into the back.

Billy stopped singing the Heart song. “You want something?”

“Yeah, your boyfriend's out on the street waiting for you with his puppies,” Miles informed him; Billy rolled his eyes.

“He's not my fuckin' boyfriend,” he told Miles. “He ain't queer.” He didn't know why he hadn't said 'we.'

Miles arched a fairy eyebrow. “Does he know that?”

“Man, leave me alone,” Billy begged him.

“Okaaaay.” Miles floated off back towards the office. “It's Valentine's Daaaay.” He was the most annoying person on the planet.

Billy put his stuff away and went outside; Harrington was indeed out there with his puppies. “ARE YOU A PUPPY?” Billy asked Leia; like usual she got all jazzed up. “What's up, man? You miss me?”

“I just saw Max and Lucas being gross at the arcade, she told me you were here. How late you workin'?”

“Uh, I'm done now. You wanna do something?” They decided to watch a movie at Billy's house; he and Max still had _Return of the Living Dead_ rented out. Steve said he'd walk the dogs back home and drive over. Billy went home and took a shower; it was Valentine's Day after all even if Susan was at home watching TV in her room.

Max came in around seven with her board and stood looking at them. She made a delightedly evil face at them watching the movie which Billy didn't feel was necessary. “Happy Valentine's Day, Max,” Steve said.

“Oh, you too!” Max said like syrup; Billy sighed for a thousand years. She fucked around in her room for a while and then went past them into the kitchen with her huge old stereo. “I have to work on my science project!” she announced.

“Okay,” Billy said. Steve was sitting Indian-style next to him on the couch and his knee was pressing into Billy's thigh so he wasn't thinking about too much. Max went into the kitchen and started blaring her music. She played 'Hurts So Good' by John Mellancamp. She played 'Any Way You Want It' by Journey. When she started playing 'Like a Virgin' by Madonna Billy said 'You want a soda?” to Steve and got up off the couch.

He went into the kitchen; Max was just sitting at the table with her boom box. “Turn your shit down,” he told her, opening up the fridge.

Max gave him a look. “Uh, I'm setting the mood for you.”

Billy got the drinks and stepped back from the fridge. “'Scuse me?”

“What?” Max yapped. “It's Valentine's Day!”

“Yeah, 'm aware of that.”

Max stared at him. “ _Okay_ , so ...” She made her fish face.

“Fucking what?”

“Oh my god, dummy! _Make a move_.”

“Oh, my god,” said Billy too. “No, nope, that ain't happening. Why you got all these shitty songs?”

“I made a tape for you guys,” Max told him.

“Oh, my god,” Billy said again; she was unbelievable. “Can't believe you actually listened to a fuckin' John Cougar song, I'm so disappointed in you.”

Max looked slightly hurt as she should. “I thought it was _appropriate_ for your situation.”

“I'm glad this is funny for ya.” Billy leaned on the counter with his sodas. “Your mom's right in her bedroom,” he pointed out.

“She taped _General Hospital_ all week, she's not coming out until like midnight. Did Steve ask you to hang out or did you?”

Billy rolled his eyes; he wasn't doing this with her. “Turn your shit down,” he told her again. He went back out and gave Steve his soda.

“Hey, thanks,” Steve said; he didn't look away from the screen. “You missed a lot of boobs.” Billy sat down a little further away from him.

Max started up her bullshit again. She played 'Can't Fight This Feeling' by REO Speedwagon then she played 'Call Me' by Blondie. She played Patti Smith singing 'Because the Night;' truly she nearly had Billy feeling those real emotions. She popped her head out of the kitchen and then practically scowled it off at them not passionately kissing or something. Billy rolled his eyes again. She was such a piece of work; she'd probably scream her head off if she ever saw that. She played 'Why Can't This Be Love' by Van Halen. She pulled out the big guns and played 'I Want To Know What Love Is' by Foreigner.

“MAX!” Billy yelled his head off. “COME ON, MAN!”

Steve started laughing. “What is she doing? She is hitting all my jams tonight,” he said. Somehow he was real close to Billy on the couch again; Billy lamented his life.

Finally Max came out in a big sulk; the movie ended and they all watched MTV for a while. Steve got up to leave around eleven. “Don't you want to stay over?” Max yapped.

Steve had his Max-is-amusing face on. “No, I'm all right,” he said; he was putting his jacket on. “Later, guys. Thanks for hangin' out with me.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. Steve left. Max scowled her head off some more; Billy didn't know how she regenerated so many fuckin' heads.

“You're such a baby!” Max told him. “You could get a boyfriend if you wanted to!”

“Don't want a fucking boyfriend,” Billy said. Max scowled off her seventh head and turned the TV up.

Billy slept til past noon on Sunday; he got up and helped Susan wash all the dishes they'd been ignoring all week. Max's dad called for her at around two; Max glared suspiciously at Billy and dragged the phone off to her room and closed the door.

Billy wandered over to the door and eavedropped on her like a shithead. Personally he thought Max's dad was for shit; he'd only been out here one time to come visit her and hadn't even assed himself to fuckin' call her on Christmas or New Year's. She'd been in a big sulk about it for three days when they'd been hanging out at Harrington's.

Even with her door closed and the TV on Billy could hear about everything; you could always hear everything that was going on in their little house. “I know, that's okay!” Max was yapping to her dad. “Yeah, I know, I miss you too! Mom's okay.” She was quiet for a couple minutes. “No, she hasn't said anything about you!” She said, “That's okay, I know you're busy!”

Billy rolled his eyes. Max said, “Well, what about for my birthday?” She was quiet again for a couple minutes. “Oh, okay,” she said in a subdued tone. “Yeah, I know. Yeah, I _know_ . Okay. Okay, what about in the summer?” she asked. “Maybe Billy and I can come out there, we are _going_ to take our friend Steve to the beach anyway.”

Max was quiet for a few minutes. “Ew, no!” she said. “Ew, no, he's older. He's Billy's friend! I told you who I like!” She listened for a couple minutes. “Yeah, Billy's okay,” she said. “Yeah, he's okay again. He's been really cool. He is _basically_ my best friend here anyway. Yeah. No, Lucas is just my boyfriend.” She laughed. “Shut up, Dad!” Max yapped on for a while; Billy returned to the couch. After a couple minutes Max finished up gabbing and came back out. She glared at him as she put the phone away.

“Were you listening to me talking?” she asked suspiciously.

“I'm watchin' the TV,” Billy told her.

“Okay.” Max flopped down on the couch and looked at him. Then she said, “Can we go and get food? I want to watch Dustin eat another salad. Do you think he touched a boob yet?”

Billy tried not to laugh. “Yeah we can go get food,” he said.

* * *

Wednesday the 18 th  was Billy's birthday and it was just another day; his birthday hadn't been any type of big deal since he'd been about ten. Susan'd left for work early and Billy was pretty sure that his Dad wasn't gonna fucking call him from Indianapolis to dole out any birthday wishes. Actually just his dad not being home was fuckin' present enough, he figured.

Max didn't wish him happy birthday either and she stole the last Eggo from him out of the freezer; Billy bitched at her for a couple minutes and then went back to his room to get ready for school. He never celebrated his birthday but even so he kinda felt like Molly Ringwald in _Sixteen Candles_ or some shit. Usually Max said happy birthday to him.

Billy looked at himself in his mirror; he got a fucking kick out of feeling like Molly Ringwald in _Sixteen Candles._  He was pretty sure Steve wasn't gonna sit him up on a counter and feed him any birthday cake, though. He put on his blue t-shirt that Susan'd got him for Christmas and put his mom's bracelet on to make himself feel better.

Adding insult to injury he had a big math test second period; Steve'd still been helping him a little so he figured he might get at least a B on it. He finished his test early and sat around looking at the guys in class; no one looked as good as Harrington.

He didn't know why no one looked as good as Harrington. He thought about Max saying _Steve's not THAT good-looking;_ he was anyway but it didn't matter. He thought about her saying too _You could get a boyfriend if you wanted to!_ and he didn't think he wanted to. No one else was interesting here. How were you supposed to go fuck around with somebody you didn't care about? Other people did it all the time. He'd done that before and it was for shit and it always turned into a total mess; he didn't think it'd matter if he moved on to guys. Jesus. Alone on your birthday and you couldn't even get a guy.

Third period was History and he'd only been sitting in class for about ten minutes when they called his name over the loudspeaker. Billy gathered up his books and wandered off to the main office trying to figure out what all he'd done so far since Monday. Hadn't hit anybody for Byers yet; the week was still young though. Skipped shop class yesterday to go and smoke in the bathroom with two guys from basketball; they _definitely_ didn't look as good as Harrington. Like usual no one had any weed in this town and definitely not any coke.

When he got to the office Maxine was sitting in the principal's crying her head off; it made him feel real scared. She had her knees drawn up in her chair and everything.“What's going on, what happened?” Billy said.

The principal looked overwhelmed and was trying to comfort Max; he was bent over with his ugly tie hitting her shoulder. He looked like he'd never seen a kid crying before. He glanced up from badly comforting Max. “Your stepmother got into an accident going to work,” he told Billy. “She had, ah, she had a little fender-bender. She's getting checked out at Hawkins General.”

Billy stared. “The fuck you mean, she ain't even got a car – “

Max cried her head off even louder; Principal Green looked more and more overwhelmed. You'd think he'd be used to this shit. “Now, now,” he said to Max. He said to Billy, “Don't worry, she's going to be fine. She's just called us from the hospital. You're over eighteen, I'm going to let you two go early and go to see her.” Max wept her head off onto his shoulder. “There, there,” said Principal Green.

Max went on crying her head off as Billy got his stuff together; he'd just tossed his bookbag on the floor when he'd seen Max going off. The principal wrote them out a dismissal slip; Max wiped her snotty nose off on her sweatshirt sleeve and then started off on a fresh bout of weeping as she took the slip. She went out the door ahead of him and started turned down the hall.

Billy followed after her with his hands in his jacket pocket; he didn't really know what to say or what to think. “Max,” he said to her back. “You okay?”

Max turned around and started walking backwards looking at him; she wasn't crying anymore. A big grin split her face. “Oh my god, did you really believe all that crap? Mom's fine, she's at work!”

Billy stopped walking and stared at her. “WHAT THE FUCK, MAX!”

Max threw her head back and laughed at him; she grabbed the hem of his jacket. “Come on, it's your birthday!”

“Oh my fucking god, you little shit, how long you been able to cry like that? Makin' me fuckin' worry about you – “ Billy bitched his head off at her as she dragged him out of the school; Max kept laughing at him.

“Holy crap, were you actually upset about Mom?”

“Don't got a problem with your mom,” Billy said gruffly.

Max dragged him out to the parking lot laughing her head off; she was the worst ever. Harrington was idling in his car with Byers and Sinclair in the backseat. Rebecca was behind him in a little Honda that looked like it was ready to fall apart at any second; Billy guessed she'd got her permit. Henderson was next to her in the passenger seat, yapping away as he usually was. Billy said, “What the hell's going on?”

Little Byers leaned out the window. “Happy birthday!” he said. Steve said, “Hey, you wanna go?”

“Uh.” Billy did wanna go. “What you doing here?”

“Yeah, we're kidnapping you for your birthday,” Steve informed him.

“Wait, you guys planned this?” Billy said. He kinda felt like he was watching a movie or something; it wasn't the _Sixteen Candles_ shit after all _._

“A little slow on the uptake this morning, _Bills,_ ” Max said like a little shithead.

Billy ignored her being a shithead. “Are you serious? So who, who called up actin' like your moms?”

Rebecca leaned out her window too; she had Henderson's baseball cap on her head and looked like a goddamn idiot. “Uh, uh, hello, this is Ms. Mayfield?” she said in a wavering voice. Max laughed her third head of the day off; Henderson was grinning at them.

Steve honked the horn. “Come on, I have trauma, let's go before that janitor comes after me again,” he said; Max dragged Billy over to the car and then squished in with Byers and Sinclair. “Happy birthday, man,” Steve said as Billy got into the car.

“Yeah, thanks,” Billy said. He was feeling weird; nobody ever did nothing for his birthday. Maybe he was dreamin' or something. Then again if he was having a dream about Steve why would Sinclair and Byers be in the backseat. Billy shuddered slightly.

Max saved him from feeling weird or thinking about the Steve-dreams. She leaned up into the front; some of her hair hit against Billy's arm. “Steve, drive slow so Rebecca can follow you!” she yapped.

“I know, I know!” Steve said all annoyed in two seconds. He put the Beamer in drive. “Put your seatbelt on, shithead.”

They drove out to the diner; their usual exhausted waitress was there and she gave them all a big look as they came in playing hooky but didn't make any comments. “It's your birthday so I'm going to buy you breakfast!” Max told Billy. Then she made a face. “Uh, just don't go over four dollars, okay?” She was too fuckin' sweet.

Steve made the kids sit at a table next to them so they wouldn't annoy Billy too much on his birthday (”You guys look like our dads or something sitting together,” Henderson said; Steve and Billy ignored him). Billy ate his four dollar breakfast and Steve annoyed him on his birthday.

Steve drank his coffee in two seconds; he was going to be so annoying in about eighteen minutes. “Rangers got a good lineup for Saturday,” he said.

“Why you wanna start with me today?” Billy asked him; everyone knew Philadelphia was gonna kick the Rangers' asses.

Steve was smiling. Billy was pretty sure that he just rooted for the opposite team every time on principal just to piss Billy off. It was okay though because Billy never had nobody to talk about sports; he ripped into the Rangers' lineup for a while. Steve kept interjecting with really deep thoughtful comments like, “Okay, but you're wrong.”

Once the kids finished their food they ran over to Steve like a gaggle of ducks; Maxine was inspecting Billy's plate to make sure he'd ate everything and wasn't wasting her money. They all walked back out to the cars. “Where we goin' now?” Billy asked.

“Don't get excited, it's nothing too great,” Sinclair told him. “Better than being at school, I guess.”

“Anything's better than bein' at school.” Sinclair smiled at him for some reason.

Steve drove them out to the big quarry outside of town; in over a year of being in Hawkins Billy'd never been out here. It was real pretty; something about being out there up high made the sky look huge. He didn't say it though. The kids got out of the car and Steve fucked around in the backseat for a couple minutes. “Happy birthday, I got you beer,” he said.

Billy laughed. He thought about it, then felt horror-struck. He grabbed Steve's shoulder for a second. “Holy shit, man, I been sober for almost a month.”

“I know, don't worry, I got you.” Steve had his Billy-is-amusing face on; there was nothing amusing about being sober for so long in a town like Hawkins.

Henderson was coming over to them from Rebecca's car with his hands behind his back. “Did I say happy birthday yet?” he asked. He whipped his hands out from being his back and shoved a huge wrapped square in Billy's face. “I want a Christmas present next year, okay?”

Billy felt weird as fuck. “Uh, you got me a present?”

“Yeah, of course I did! Max made me!”

“No I didn't!” Max yapped; she was doing her _Love Boat_ shit with Sinclair and leaning against the trunk of Steve's car. “He asked me!”

Henderson waved the square in his face. “It's from me and Rebecca.”

All the creepy kids had got him shit; Billy wondered if he'd gone through some kinda portal again. He leaned on the hood of the car and opened up the shit. Henderson'd got him the new Metallica record; Sinclair gave him Dio's _Holy Diver_ . Max got him _5150_ by Van Halen and _Kicking Against the Pricks_ by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Little Byers gave him a Misfits poster and a Clive Barker book wrapped all fancy: “Max said you like him,” he said all shy.

Billy did like him; he was feelin' all kinds of those real emotions. “Shit, thanks kid,” he said. “Take ya to see _Hellraiser_ when it comes out.” Byers beamed like a little Christmas elf again.

Goddamn but Billy felt weird; he wasn't used to people getting him anything or having to say thanks for it. He couldn't believe they'd all got him anything, even if it was mostly stuff he couldn't use. “Uh, thanks guys,” he said. “I mean, thanks. Dunno why you assholes got me records, you know I don't got a player anymore.”

“That's really sad, if only someone got you a record player,” Henderson said; he was grinning like a Wookie.

“Okay, all right,” Steve said. The kids all squawked on for a couple minutes and then dispersed; they ran off down towards the rocks and the water and Steve and Billy stayed up near his car. “Hey, sorry, I know this is kinda lame,” Steve told him. “We don't, uh, got any beaches around here or anything. I was gonna take you out to the lake or something but it's still cold as fuck, you know. Figured I'd take you out here and then all the kids wanted to come.”

“I'm good out here,” Billy said. He didn't know what he felt weirder about: Steve wanting to take him out for his birthday, or the kids wanting to come. Must've been they wanted to play hooky or something. “Ain't they find Byers' fake body around here?”

“Uh, yup, yeah, that happened,” Steve said. “I mean, actually it didn't really happen, Will said he's fine being out here. His mom will totally kill me if she finds out though. Like, in so, _so_ many ways.”

Billy figured that was about right; by the look on Steve's face he was thinkin' about all the ways.

They could hear the creepy kids shouting and laughing down by the shore line. Even way up here you could hear Sinclair begging Dustin to shut the fuck up. Steve and Billy sat around on the ground and Billy drank his beer; he was looking up at the sky. Sometimes he was looking at Steve. Steve talked his head off about nothing in particular like usual.

Billy felt okay. He felt pretty good and he wasn't used to feeling good on his birthday. He and Steve got into a big discussion about Star Wars (Steve was pro-Ewok; Billy thought they were fucking terrifying).

“So okay, but what if you got to keep 'em like as pets or something?” Steve said. “They'd have to do whatever you say. They're kind of cute and all.”

Billy was drinking his beers. He was getting a little drunk; he didn't have to be in to work until six so he figured he'd be okay. “Why you gotta say this shit to me, Steve? Look, they ain't cute, all right? The fuck. Give me fuckin' nightmares. They tie me down like, uh, _Gulliver's Travels_ or some shit.”

Steve started laughing at him. “Yeah, I think that says more about you as a person than it does about the Ewoks.”

“Uh, no, they was _going to eat_ Han Solo,” Billy pointed out; Steve laughed at him some more.

It was a little past three when Wheeler Jr came shambling up the gravel road towards them; he had his hair in his eyes and a scowl on his face like usual.

“Hey Mike,” Steve said.

“Hey,” Wheeler Jr said. He made one of his shit-faces at Billy. “Happy birthday, I _guess._ Here.” He shoved yet another wrapped square at Billy; it was another record. “This is _not_ from me, by the way, it's from El, sorry she couldn't come.”

“My girl got me somethin'?” Wheeler Jr made the most horrible shit-face at Billy callin' Jane his girl; Steve laughed at that too. Billy made a big production of tearing the paper off the record. It was the first Aerosmith album from the seventies; it had the song 'Dream On' on it. “Shit, tell her thanks for me, kid.”

“Tell her yourself!” Wheeler Jr said like a huge baby brat.

Billy grinned at him. “Oh! Think I will!” he said all nicey-nicey.

“AUGH!” Wheeler Jr said like Charlie Brown. “You're _so_ annoying.” He jammed his hands in his pockets and shuffled off down to the shore where the rest of the creepy kids were. Dustin and Max were pulling Rebecca around on Max's busted-up board and she was laughing her head off.

“Wheeler is such an angel, I feel touched by God right now,” Billy said.

“Yeah, he's going through a phase I guess.” Billy thought the phase was called 'being a giant shitheel.' “He treated me like that too for a while.” Steve thought about it. “Guess he still does.”

A while later Henderson came huffing and puffing back up the trail; he sat with them and annoyed Billy for a while. “Hey kid, did ya get to touch a boob?” Billy asked him.

Henderson made a huge face. “That's CLASSIFIED,” he said; that meant no.

Steve started laughing again. He was doing that a lot today. “Oh my god, tell him what happened.”

“Son of a bitch, Steve, I'm glad you think my life is so funny,” Henderson said. He was hunched down on his knees between Steve and Billy. “Okay, listen, first of all you need to understand that I'm about forty percent deaf in my left ear – “

“Uh-huh,” Billy said; he was already too happy.

“I WAS VERY ILL AS A CHILD,” Henderson said. “I had fevers, I had nosebleeds!”

“Dustin,” Steve said.

Henderson sighed like a Wookie. “Anyway, okay, so I thought Rebecca told me that she wanted to take me to second base as soon as she got her license, turns out she said Second Street. I started to take my shirt off and she parked in front of the wildlife museum!”

“HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD YOU TOTAL ASSHOLE!” Billy said; his voice echoed over the quarry.

“Yeah, still don't understand why you thought _you_ needed to take your shirt off to go to second base,” Harrington was saying. “I mean, that's usually the girl, Dust.”

“It's called equality, Steve, men shouldn't be ashamed of having their bodies touched,” Henderson yapped.

“Oh, my god, okay, that is way too much info for me.”

Billy was still laughing; okay maybe he was more than a little buzzed. “Steve, Steve!” he said. “Go to Third Street with me!”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again; he had his Billy-is-amusing face on and something else.

Dustin waited until Billy finished laughing. It took a while. “It's like four o'clock, are you going to be okay to go to work, you lightweight?” he said. “Steve, you better give him his present soon. I have to be home at five-twenty, my mom's making a souffle.”

Billy lolled his head back against the ground and looked up at Harrington. “What you get me, Stevie? You gonna give it to me?”

“Okay, you're really being too much right now,” Steve said. “Come on, asshole.” He gave Billy a hand up and they walked back to his car. They stood looking at his trunk. “Uh, right, I didn't wrap it or nothin'.” Steve looked at the trunk some more.

“Oh my god, what's wrong with you?” Henderson asked him. He started patted Steve down; Billy'd never thought he'd feel jealous of Henderson. “Where's your keys? Come on, you are making us all look totally stupid.”

“Man! Get off me, okay? Jesus.” Steve shoved him away and started to open up his trunk. “Look, you don't have to keep it or anything.”

Billy looked in the trunk; it was a big Kenwood turntable. He stared at it for a while. “You got me a record player?”

Steve was biting his lip and he looked uncomfortable. He was looking down at the player too and his hair was falling in his eyes; he swept it back with a hand and it fell right back into his eyes. “Uh, I know it's not your mom's or anything – “

“That's okay,” Billy said right away; he didn't want to talk about his mom. He was still looking at the record player. “The hell, man, this shit's really expensive.”

“It wasn't that bad,” Steve said. Sometimes Billy forgot what a rich bitch Harrington was; a model like this Billy'd have to save for about a year and then steal some of Maxine's milk money.

“When'd you get this for me?”

“Uh,” Steve said.

“Practically like right after yours broke!” Henderson lisped helpfully.

“Thank you Dustin,” Steve said in a very annoyed tone; Henderson grinned up at him. “Uh, yeah, I didn't think I should give it to you at Christmastime, I thought it might be weird.”

“I had to stop him from breaking it three times when you guys were fighting,” Henderson said.

“Okay, I wasn't really going to break it.”

“He was totally going to break it,” Henderson said.

Billy was just looking at the turntable in its box; Dustin and Steve stared at him. “Are you okay?” Henderson asked. He was grinning again.

“Uh, yeah,” Billy managed to say. “Yeah, this is … uh, too much, man.”

“Guy at the store said it was like the best one, I thought you'd have fun pushing all the buttons,” Steve said, teasing him. He always got a huge kick out of Max and Billy arguing at his house over who got to push the button to start the dishwasher; they'd never had one before.

“Yeah I will,” Billy said; he felt too weird and overwhelmed to come back with a smart comment. Steve Steve Steve. Steve bought him a record player. “Thanks,” he said. “Holy shit.”

Steve still had his hands in his pocket and he smiled. “You like it?”

“Yeah, man.”

Henderson butt in: “He was supposed to give it to you first, then we were going to do all the vinyls and laugh at you having a stroke and getting emotional.”

“I ain't emotional,” Billy said; Steve said, “Okay, shithead, when was I supposed to give it to him, when you were eating all his cupcakes in Becca's car or when you kids were stuffing your faces in the dinner?”

“Wait, there was more food?”

Henderson looked guilty. “Look, Rebecca ate like six, I am still on my diet!”

“Thought you ain't touch a boob yet.”

“YEAH, BUT I'M GOING TO,” yelled Henderson. “It's called consent, Billy.”

The rest of the creepy kids were coming over; Rebecca was holding Max's board now and she had a big scrape on one knee. “Did you like our big present of leaving you alone?” she asked him; Sinclair was laughing at him.

Really all the kids had him feeling all those real emotions. “Yeah, thanks,” Billy said. It was getting dark soon; Max pointed out that it was past five-thirty. Henderson screamed his head off: “OH MY GOD, MY SOUFFLE.” He screamed at Steve until Steve said they could go. Max and Billy transported the turntable into his car.

“Thanks again, man,” Billy said to Steve.

“Yeah, sure. See ya later.” Steve was just standing there looking at Max and Billy by his car. Henderson and Rebecca were getting into her little Honda and Henderson was still screaming his head off; Rebecca was telling him to settle down.

Max and Billy got into his car and he drove her down to the arcade. “Come get you at ten,” Billy told her.

Max unclicked her seatbelt. “Okay!” she said. “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah I did,” Billy said. “Thanks, Max.” Max beamed all pleased with herself; he'd been thinking Harrington planned the shit but it was probably Max.

Billy drove down the street to the car garage; it was a quarter past six but Hank was still fucking around in the front. Usually he'd be home already. “Sorry I'm late,” Billy said.

“That's okay, kid,” Hank said. “I was waitin' for you. Got you a present.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a huge set of the glorious wrenches that Billy was always messing with.

Once again Billy was feelin' all those real emotions. “Man, are you serious? You didn't have to get me nothin'.” It was a real nice set; cost almost eighty dollars, about worth a quarter of Billy's life.

“I ain't got no kids anymore to spend my money on,” Hank told him. “You don't even steal nothin' from me yet. You have a good birthday?”

“Yeah, how'd you know it was my birthday?”

“I been talkin' to your kid sister, Jesus she can talk Bill,” Hank said; Billy nearly managed not to laugh his ass off.

“Thanks a lot. You didn't need to do this for me.”

“Oh, it ain't nothin'. You need a set for you car. I just got you the same kind I got since you're always lookin' at 'em. I ever tell you about the guy I bought 'em off?”

Hank'd told him that shit about eight times; Billy leaned on the counter. “Uh, don't think so.”

Hank talked his ear off for a while; Billy let him do it. Once Hank left he fucked around at the shop some more, then he put his new wrenches in his truck along with the record player and went to go get Max. “Can we get McDonald's?” she asked him.

“You ain't eat enough shit at the arcade?”

“I don't have any money, I spent all it on you!” Max yapped.

“Yeah we can get McDonald's.”

“I want to listen to the Nick Cave album when we get home, there's a cover of a Velvet Underground song on there, I will help you set it up,” Max informed him like a slave driver.

“Okay.” Billy got her her McDonald's and they went home and set up the record player; Max was eating her fries all over his room. They listened to Nick Cave singin' 'All Tomorrow's Parties;' it was pretty good. Max yapped her head off for a while and then finally she left him alone.

Billy laid in bed thinking his thoughts. He'd had a real good day; usually that didn't happen on his birthday. He fell asleep thinkin' about the Ewoks.

* * *

 

Two days after Billy's birthday was a Friday and everything went to shit; it'd been a great month so far so he didn't know how he hadn't expected things to go to shit. Friday was the day Billy's dad found out about Max and Lucas.

Once school ended Billy went to basketball practice like usual; Max and Sinclair weren't there but Byers and Henderson were. He didn't really have concrete plans to meet up with Steve but he figured he probably would anyway. He'd seen Harrington just about every day this week aside from last night when Hank had stayed late at the shop again, killing him and talking about 'Nam. Apparently Hank didn't sleep too good either. Since Hank'd got him the wrenches Billy was trying not to be an asshole; he hadn't booked it out of there early like he'd wanted it.

Anyway it was Friday now; like usual Billy'd been waiting for the weekend. He smoked a cigarette outside after practice, talking to a couple of the guys for a few minutes. Still no one looked as good as Steve, Billy thought as he drove himself down Dearborn Street. He was all sweaty and in his old cut-up Metallica shirt; he'd left his jacket at the shop yesterday fucking running out after Hank'd finally shut up. He wanted to take a shower at home and get all nicey-nicey looking for Harrington. He was mostly thinking about Steve, Steve Steve Steve like usual. He should have been thinking about what the fuck Maxine was up to.

Neil's sedan was parked in the driveway. Billy made a face; thought he was supposed to be out in Indianapolis all weekend.

He put the Camaro on the street and got out of the car. He could hear Max and his old man going at it before he saw them, for some reason it sounded like they were yelling out in the backyard. It made him stop walking for a moment; he felt like he already knew. He looked around the yard. Then he saw Sinclair's red bike leaned up next to the steps and he definitely knew.

Billy said about eight million swears in his head; he got so creative with it. He started walking again. He knew it. Goddamnit how many times had he told her. Fucking told her.

He walked around to the side of the house still saying the elaborate curse words in his head; he had his hands in his pockets. Maxine let out a scream like a fuckin' banshee so Billy walked a little faster.

He saw Sinclair before he saw Max and his old man. Lucas was sprawled out on his back in the gravel of the backyard like he'd just taken a fall, propped up on his bloody elbows. The knees of his jeans were blown out and bloodied too and Billy knew his old man had been pushing the kid around. Didn't get scrapes like that just from falling.

Maxine and Neil were over by her window yelling their heads off. Window was open; they must've gone through there getting out. Billy said eight million more curse words in his head. Max didn't look too scared of Neil like she had been over the summer or the last couple months; Billy guessed her love of Sinclair was just too great for rationality or some shit. It must be his Denzel Washington brow. Jesus fuck she was a piece of work.

Max was at about a level nine in her womanly hysteria; unlike Billy though his old man was not leaning back in slight actual terror. He was getting right back in her face. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS!” Max was screaming like a broken record. “YOU CAN'T DO THIS!”

Sinclair saw Billy coming before the other two did; he was picking himself up off the ground. He looked up at Billy.

“The fuck's going on here?” Billy said.

Max whipped her head around. “BILLY! HE CAN'T DO THIS!” she yelled like a broken record. Her red hair was so long now, falling halfway down her back, and her hands were clenched into fists at her sides. She looked like Billy's mom again; she also just looked like Max.

“Do _not_ tell me what I can and can't do,” Neil told her. He reached out and grabbed at Max's wrist; he wasn't allowed to do that. Billy started walking again.

“LET ME GO!” Max yelled. She was struggling away from him and that was gonna make him madder.

Sinclair got there first; he put himself between Neil and Max and pushed at their interlocked arms. “Don't touch her!” he said all dramatic like a hero.

Neil grabbed him too; now he had ahold of two creepy kids. “You wanna grab me, you fuckin' spade?” he said. “Do you want to try and grab me? We can go back inside, looks like you like it inside my house.”

“Okay, we're not doing this,” Billy said. He really didn't want to do this. Why'd he have to do this.

“Yeah, I'm gonna deal with you later.” Neil wasn't looking at him; he was trying to drag Max and Sinclair past Billy towards the front of the house.

“Uh, no, you're gonna deal with me now,” Billy said. He wasn't even feeling scared like he should be; he was pretty sure six months ago he'd have been scared. Mostly he was tired. He'd wanted to go to Steve's. Sinclair was closer to him; he grabbed Lucas by the hood of his jacket and wrenched him away from his father. “Fuckin' go, okay?” Lucas went.

Neil stared at him; he dropped Maxine's arm and she scampered around behind Billy like a scared puppy. She had a big red mark on her wrist. “Oh, I didn't know you and the nigger were friends,” Neil said in a real nicey-nice voice. Then it changed. He was walking towards Billy; he was real close. “You were supposed to watch your sister.”

“I been watching her, I don't got a leash this fuckin' long,” Billy said.

“You knew about this. He was in my house.”

“Go to my car,” Billy told Max.

“Don't you dare,” Neil told her. “Get inside, _now._ ”

“YOU'RE _NOT_ MY DAD!” Max yelled her head off.

Je-sus Christ, she was still starting her shit. “MAX, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?” Billy said.

“Maxine, get inside,” Neil said again; he stepped to the side like he was gonna come for her again. Billy grabbed his arm.

“Yeah, don't look at her.”

Neil reached out and shoved him _hard._ Billy hadn't been bracing himself and he flew backwards and skidded on his back on the gravel and concrete too. It burned like holy hell and he let out a hiss; Max was skittering away from them. Neil stood over him. “You knew about this,” he said. “You let that kid into my house.”

“I ain't let nobody into the house.” Billy was getting up before his dad could hit him; Neil hit him anyway. Billy shoved him away. “The fuck you gonna do, you gonna lynch him in the yard?” Neil hit him again; Billy shoved him away. “Yelling your goddamn heads off out here, bet half the neighbors already called the cops.” He shoved his father away from him again. Jesus fuck his whole back was burning; he was trying not to make a face like a huge baby.

He started walking to his car; Neil grabbed his upper arm which burned too. Billy shook him off. Max and Lucas were on the sidewalk getting into the Camaro and Billy walked over to them. His dad kept grabbing him and Billy kept shoving him. Neil grabbed him all the way to the sidewalk. Billy shoved him pretty hard to get him away from him; truly he saw his whole life flash before his eyes. Even still he didn't feel scared. He was waiting to feel scared. Mostly he was mad; he didn't want to do this shit today. He got into the driver's side and Max leaned up and pressed down on the door-lock button.

Neil stood looking over them; his face was a black cloud of rage. “Swear to god, Billy,” he said. “Get your sister and come out of the car.”

“She ain't my sister!” Billy said through the window like a total dumbass.

Billy's dad hit the glass of the window hard with an opened palm; all three of them flinched. “It is going to be _so much worse_ for you if you don't _get out of the car,_ ” Neil told him. Billy put the Camaro in drive. “Disrespectful shit, don't you fucking dare drive away.”

Billy drove away. Neil stood out on the sidewalk looking at them; he didn't even scream or anything and that meant it was real bad. Max and Sinclair turned around in the backseat to stare back at him until Billy rounded the corner, then they turned back in their seats. Nobody said anything for a while. Billy was counting to ten in his head a million times and also saying eight million swear words. He was getting real creative again; he was also getting blood all over his fucking seat.

He got to Sinclair's house; he was really proud of himself for not exploding. He wasn't sure how he felt right now. He still didn't feel scared. It was almost worse than being scared; he was just thinking about the total shitstorm that might've happened if he'd gotten there a couple minutes later. If his dad had got Max and Sinclair back into the house.

He said, “You kids know you just fucked us, right?”

Max and Lucas didn't answer for a couple seconds. Then they said, “Yeah.”

Billy didn't say anything. He was thinking of his dad's face out on the sidewalk and how bad his and Max's lives were gonna be for the foreseeable future. If they even had futures at this point. God he'd been right out in the yard knocking Sinclair around, a goddamn kid. What else would he'd do if he got them in the house.

Billy adjusted his rearview mirror and looked back at Max and Lucas; they stared at him too. Billy looked at Max wearing her grubby yellow sweater like usual. He narrowed his eyes. He looked at her some more. “Max,” he said slowly.

“Yeah?”

Billy stared at her in the mirror. “The fuck's your sweater on backwards for?”

Max and Sinclair stared up at him like twin raccoons; their eyes were getting bigger and bigger, Lucas's in particular. “I,” he said. “She – I NEVER TOUCHED HER!” He slammed the passenger seat forward and bolted from the car.

Billy let him go. He threw his head back against his seat. “MAX, YOU FUCKIN' DOUCHEBAG!” he yelled.

“Oh my god! I didn't do anything!”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! THE FUCK YOU DOING!”

“I didn't do anything!” yelped Max again.

“You fucking asshole!” Billy said to her. “Jesus Christ, did my dad walk in on you guys?” Max made a great face; Billy exploded again. “OH MY GOD, MAN! What the FUCK you thinkin'?” This was a whole new bag of shit; this was so bad.

“I didn't think he'd come home! He was supposed to be in the city all weekend!”

“You fuckin' moron, the fuck you thinking?” Billy demanded again like a den dad; he couldn't help himself. Max was supposed to be smarter than him and shit. “I swear to god, Max, if you're fucking around with Sinclair – “

“Oh my god, we weren't doing anything!”

“ – it ain't Valentine's Day anymore, you shithead!”

“This is the first time we even did anything!” Max yelled. “It’s not like it was even sexy, I had a SPORTS BRA on!”

“JESUS, DON'T FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT!” Billy screamed in horror; he was going deaf and dumb and blind again. “Oh my god, you total asshole, I am not equipped to deal with this _shit!_ ”

“I'm sorry!” yapped Max. “No one was supposed to be home! Mom's at her sister's! I thought you were going to Steve's!”

“You are such a shithead,” Billy told her. “Oh my god, what are you doing, you're fucking _fourteen._ ”

“I'LL BE FIFTEEN IN TWO MONTHS!” Max yelled her head off. “We've been going out for like a year! What about you and Tracey boning after five minutes?”

Jesus God she better not be using him as any kinda example; also he was deaf dumb and blind all over again, having to hear her say _boning_. “Don't start that shit with me!”

“We didn't even do anything! I mean _barely!_ ”

“Jesus, I don't care! Stop talkin' about it!” Billy begged her.

“ _You_ stop talking about it!”

“Oh my god,” Billy said again. “You're such a shithead, you totally fucked us. You know you fucked us, right?”

“HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HOME!”

“Why you wanna do that shit? You wanna get fuckin' pregnant?”

“OH MY GOD, WE WEREN'T GOING TO _HAVE SEX!_ ” Max yelled; Billy went even deafer dumber and blinder at the horror of her saying _sex_ too.

“Stop fuckin' screaming at me!”

“I'M NOT SCREAMING, YOU'RE SCREAMING!”

“I'M NOT SCREAMING!” screamed Billy. He reminded her, “Fuckin' hate you.”

Max folded her arms across her chest like a sulky bitch and flopped back against the backseat; she looked like a total asshole with her stupid sweater on backwards. Jesus God he couldn't believe her. “So what are we going to do? What are you gonna do?”

Billy rubbed his face. “I don't fucking know. Get outta my car, I can't deal with your shit right now.”

Max got out of the car. She came around to the driver's side door and looked at him through the window all critical. “You look like total shit,” she told him.

“Yeah, thanks so much.”

“Your arms are all messed up, you're bleeding everywhere!” Max yapped.

“No shit,” Billy said. He thought about it. “Look, don't go home this weekend, okay? Your mom ain't coming back til Sunday.”

“Uh, God, she's probably on her way back right now.”

“Yeah, I don't care,” Billy told her. He thought about how his old man had looked standing on the sidewalk as they'd left; really Susan shouldn't fucking come home either. “Look, I'm serious, okay?”

“Mom won't let him do anything to me,” Max told him; she still didn't understand. He thought about his dad saying _you wanna grab me, you fuckin' spade._ Thought about his dad grabbing Max's face over the summer; that'd been before he'd even caught her screwing around.

Billy reached out the window and grabbed Max's wrist; he didn't do it too hard but she looked startled anyway. “I'm fucking _serious_ , Max,” he said. “Don't go home, okay? Think I don't fuckin' know him? I don't care if your mom calls you all nice and shit saying he ain't mad, he's fucking mad. Don't fuckin' go back there til I tell you.”

Max stared at him. “Yeah, but if Mom says I have – “

“I don't care,” Billy told her again. “I'll figure something out. Stay at your girl Beverly's or somethin', okay? Don't go back home, you understand me?”

“I just – “

“Max. This is serious shit.”

“I _know_ that, I'm not _stupid_ – “

“Say you understand.”

Max looked weird; her brows were drawn down and she had a little frown on her face. He was still holding her wrist. “Okay, okay. Okay, I understand.”

“Okay.” He let go of her wrist.

Max put her hands in her jeans pockets and stood looking at him. “What are you going to do? Are you gonna go back home?”

“Fuck no I ain't going home.”

“Are you gonna go to Steve's?”

“I dunno now.”

Max chewed on her lip. “Sorry,” she said softly.

Billy put his car back in drive. “Yeah. Well.” He looked up at her. “Keep your fuckin' clothes on, okay?”

Max rolled her eyes; she didn't even flip him off like he'd expected her to. “Bye.” She still had her hands in her pockets; she hunched her little shoulders. “Thanks,” she said.

Billy didn't answer her. He drove off; he was tired of her.

He wasn't sure what he was going to do now. He didn't know where he was supposed to go. Couldn't go home. Couldn't go to the shop looking like this and shouldn't go to Harrington's looking like this. He didn't want to dump his problems on Hank or on Steve.

Fuckin' Max, his biggest problem. He'd thought it was Harrington but as usual Max came through for him after all.

He drove around for a while; he drove out to Lover's Lake and smoked the rest of his cigarettes. He pushed his seat back as far as it could go and sat forward to try and peel his t-shirt off his back a little; it was tacky with blood and was stickin' to him. The material was in shreds and he was pretty sure most of his fuckin' back was as well. Jesus he hoped he hadn't fucked up Harrington like this last month pushing him out the window. He looked at himself in his mirror; he had a split lip too but that wasn't too bad or nothing. Just was about usual. He was still okay.

It was way past dark out when he put his car back in drive. He still didn't know where to go; like he'd told Max he definitely wasn't going to go home and catch the shitstorm yet. He still didn't feel scared; he was trying not to think about it. It was a kind of resigned feeling, something low in his stomach. He always knew when he was in deep shit.

Somehow he wound up at Steve's house anyway. He still didn't want to bother him with the shit. He sat in the Camaro looking up at the house for a couple minutes; Steve's car was the only one there like almost always but there were a lot of lights on.

Billy got out of the car and went up the front walkway; after all it was a shame for his boy to be alone on a Friday night. He felt weird knocking even though he didn't know why. Maybe Steve had Henderson over or something. He still didn't know why Steve didn't just find a new girlfriend; he didn't need to hang out with Billy all the time. He knocked on the door.

“UH, HANG ON,” Steve said from somewhere inside the house. “SWEAR TO GOD, DUSTIN, IF THIS IS YOU AGAIN WITH YOUR PASTA SALAD _BULLSHIT_ – “

Billy coughed. “Uh, it's me,” he said awkwardly into the door.

“Oh, hang on!” Steve said. He threw the door open. “Hey, I was about to call you – _holy shit,_ ” he said. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Uh,” Billy said, still awkwardly. He kinda had the shakey feeling now but it wasn't too bad yet. Asides from that though it was cold as shit out here now without his jacket. He just stood there. “Uh, c'n I come in?”

“Shit, sorry,” said Steve. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He went to grab Billy's arm and then stopped himself; he was making a face. Billy crossed the doorway and came inside. “Man, what happened to you?” he asked again.

“Fell in my backyard.”

“Uh, Jesus.” Steve was inspecting him like a den dad now. “You should really clean that, you got like rocks and shit in your arm.”

“Can't really go home,” Billy mumbled.

“Yeah, I figured.” Steve dragged him out into the kitchen. “What happened? Take your shirt off.”

Billy peeled his shirt off; it fucking hurt. “My old man caught Max'n Sinclair in her fuckin' room.”

“Oh my god, are you serious?” Steve was rifling through one of the kitchen drawers for a dishtowel or something; he stopped and looked up.

“Wish I wasn't.”

Steve was making a terrible face; he took Billy's bloody t-shirt from him and switched it for a rag. “Oh Jesus, man, please tell me they weren't doing stuff.”

“Had her fucking sweater on backwards yelling her head off outside.”

“Oh my god, no,” Steve said in true horror; really no one understood him better than Harrington Billy thought.

“Yeah, said he wasn't s'posed to be home.”

Steve made an even more terrible face. “What you think they'd've done if you came home and found 'em?”

“Listen, I'm fucked up enough already,” Billy begged him; he was getting horrible images of Maxine in her sports bra and he could feel himself losing his sight again. Steve laughed like a horrible person. He was back to inspecting Billy like a den dad; it made him feel really weird.

“Yeah, your back is totally messed up, I think we have a first aid kit or something around here.” Steve trooped off like Mr. Mom and Billy wandered over to the sink to try and wash his arms off a little.

Steve came back chattering his head off after a couple minutes. “My mom'd be so proud of me, it only took me about eight minutes to find the peroxide.” He stood staring at Billy by the sink.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Steve said. He came back over and continued his critical inspection. “Uh, yeah, you're not even getting it all. Do you want me to do your back?”

Billy didn't answer him for a minute; he was thinking about it. He wondered what kinda Friday night this was gonna turn into. “Okay,” he said. Steve snatched the towel back from him; he made Billy go and sit in a chair while he rinsed it off.

Billy sat leaned over the kitchen table and let Steve clean his back off. He didn't feel too sexy or anything; he felt like a damn little kid with a skinned knee. Anyway it didn't hurt too much; the peroxide felt good. “Haven't even worked out two months, you're such an asshole,” Steve mutterered. “Your shoulder looks real ugly,” he told Billy in support.

“Thanks.”

Steve stopped cleaning his back and touched him with two fingers up on his shoulderblade near his neck, about an inch apart. “Uh, what's this from?”

Billy already knew what he was touching. “What?”

“Are these fucking cigarette burns?” Steve was still touching him.

Billy didn't want to talk about that. “I dunno, can you stop feeling me up?”

“Sorry.” He could tell Harrington was rolling his eyes; at this point he could fucking feel it. Steve resumed his Mr. Mom shit for a couple minutes. He didn't need to get so close; Billy could feel his breath on his shoulder. He heckled Billy for a couple minutes until Billy told him the rest of what'd happened. “Jesus,” said Steve. “I mean, okay, I almost kinda get it, I guess I wouldn't wanna walk in on my daughter with some guy either.”

“She ain't his daughter,” Billy reminded him. He chewed on his lip for a second; it started bleeding a little. Goddamn his old man had good aim with his wedding ring. “That ain't why he was shaking Sinclair all around the yard.”

Steve didn't say anything for a minute. “Yeah, I know that.”

“Called him a fuckin' nigger and a spade.”

“Uh, Jesus.” Steve sounded really uncomfortable. “So where's Max, you leave her there?”

“No I didn't fuckin' leave her there!” Billy said. “You think I'm stupid? She went to one of her girl's houses. We ain't coming home this weekend.”

“You can stay here if you want,” Steve told him. Right away Billy felt weird again.

“Uh, s’not what I meant – “

“Yeah, whatever, I'm just saying.”

Billy chewed his lip again; he tasted blood in his mouth. “Yeah, thanks.”

 

They were in the kitchen for a while until Steve declared his back good to go. He gave Billy back his Dead Kennedys shirt to wear; Billy spent a while mourning the loss of his Metallica tee. He'd looked damn good in that shirt, no matter what dumb shit Maxine said.

Out in the living room they laid around and watched MTV for a while. Steve let Luke and Leia inside and laughed at Billy talking to them for a while like usual.

“Can we get Chinese food?” Billy asked him. He was sprawled out on the floor. Luke was laying his huge self on Billy's stomach and Leia was snuffling at his hair; he felt so happy.

“Uh, you never have to ask me that,” Steve said. “You wanna order it or you wanna go and get it? You can drive my car if you want.”

“REALLY?” Billy said; Steve laughed at him again.

They didn't stay up too late; Harrington was tired from work and Billy was tired from dealing with Maxine's special brand of bullshit. He ended up sleeping on Steve's floor; Steve gave him about three pillows and asked if he was okay eighty times. Billy fell asleep to Harrington still bitching his head off about work.

They got up kind of late; Steve sat on the couch and Billy laid on the floor again playing with Luke and Leia some more. Steve stared at Billy watching the Saturday morning cartoons; he laughed at Billy laughing his ass off at the _Paw Paw Bears_ and _Johnny Quest._ They went and met Henderson at the diner (Billy drove the Beamer again) and everyone got breakfast even though it was past noon. Billy laughed his ass off again at Dustin mournfully eating a single poached egg.

Back at Steve's house they watched more TV; Harrington was a real layabout like him. The phone rang at about four; Steve picked it up from the end-table by the couch. “Harrington's,” he said all proper. “Hey, Max. Yeah, yeah I know. Yeah, he's right here.”

He handed the phone to Billy. “Hey shithead,” Billy said.

“I knew you'd be at Steve's!” Max said.

“Where you at?”

“I'm still hiding at Bev's,” Max told him.

Steve was standing up; he wandered off into the kitchen. Billy guessed he was giving him privacy or some shit; it didn't matter. He played around with the phone cord. “Sinclair okay?” he said.

“Yeah, he's fine. Neil pushed you way harder.” Was great to know that his old man still hated him more than Midnight. Billy told himself again to stop calling Sinclair that in his head.

“He tell his parents?”

“ _No,_ ” said Max. “I don't know _why._ ” She went on: “I talked to Mom already, she is _really mad_ about everything. She's gonna come home tomorrow and we're gonna talk about everything.”

“Said I don't want you going back to that house til I said,” Billy told her.

“I know, I said that, Mom said you're being stupid.”

“I ain't being stupid.”

“Her train comes in at four, we're gonna go to the mall and stuff first.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He thought about it. “I'm gonna go back before you guys and do damage control.”

“What? Why?” Max yapped right away. “No, don't do that, Neil will kick your ass!”

“He's gonna kick my ass anyway, might as well get it out of the way.”

“No, don't go home!” Max said all dramatic. “Just wait for me and Mom, okay?”

“S'gonna be worse if yous are there.”

“No it won't be!” Max yapped; she still didn't understand. He thought she had; the other month she'd been cryin' in the diner. Billy'd said he wouldn't let her get hit. He didn't know if she was gonna get hit but he wasn't gonna let it happen.

“Look, I don't want you guys there.”

“Uh, you don't have to do this, Billy!”

“What? I ain't doing nothing,” Billy said.

Max yapped on for a couple more minutes and finally Billy managed to get her off the line. Hockey was on at seven; they ordered pizza and drank more of Harrington's dad's thirty-two year-old whiskey. Like usual Steve laughed at Billy getting all jazzed up about the game.

Billy didn't mind Steve laughing at him. He felt good in Harrington's house even though he knew he had to go eventually. He felt good around Steve even though he knew he had to go eventually. He couldn't believe he'd spent more than a day around him; maybe Steve did want him a little even if it wasn't really the way Billy wanted him to. Sometimes he was thinking maybe, maybe. He was always setting himself up. Maybe it didn't have to be like this, could be a little different. Maybe he could, maybe he would. Anyway it didn't matter.

Steve went to bed to a little past midnight; he was kind of hinting to Billy that he should take a shower (he said, “Man, you're starting to reek, go take a fucking shower”).

Jesus he was too sweet. Billy went and took a shower; Steve gave him an old Hawkins High shirt and a pair of sweatpants to wear. Billy lamented his life; he was never going to wear a Hawkins High shirt. The water from the shower spray felt like little needles cutting into his back but he stayed in there for a while.

Steve rolled his eyes at Billy coming out of his bathroom shirtless and shaking his hair like a wet dog. He told Billy that he should sleep in one of the spare rooms in an actual bed tonight but Billy ended up on his floor again anyway.

Steve was talking and talking; Billy wondered if he was still a little drunk. He kept saying stupid shit that wasn't funny and Steve'd laugh at it. He told Billy a story about how he and Carol and Tommy H had taken Carol's mom's car for a joyride when they'd been twelve or thirteen. Carol'd ran into a fucking fire hydrant and cried so much that Steve and Tommy had taken the fall for her. They'd gotten grounded all summer. “My dad took my fuckin' bike, too,” Steve told Billy; apparently that was the ultimate salt in the wound.

Billy stretched out and raised his arms over his head; it hurt his shoulders. He kept forgetting he was all cut up. “Sounds like you guys were actually pretty good friends.”

“I, yeah, I guess.” Up on his bed Steve sounded thoughtful. “I mean, they were okay. I don't know when they stopped being okay. Maybe it's me.”

“Nah, they're stupid as shit,” Billy told him.

“They were like my best friends, I kinda just did whatever they wanted though,” Steve said. “They weren't like you.” Billy didn't know what that meant. “You know, Tommy still has so much of my shit, you know he still has half my Aquaman comics?”

“Aquaman's gay, man,” Billy told him gently.

“Uh, no, he is married!” Steve said pointedly; instantly he sounded all kinds of impassioned. Billy started laughing. “She's got a twin sister, you asshole!”

“Oh, my god,” Billy said, still laughing.

“I'm not, you know what, I'm not talking about this with you, I'm not letting you insult me about this like everything else.” Steve went on and on about how horrible Billy was, this wound back around to Tommy somehow. “Anyway Tommy has like a bunch of my records too, he's got my copy of _Star Wars,_ he has like half my old tapes. I'm never getting that shit back. Actually Nancy has my fuckin' favorite record, I bet she listens to it with Jonathan all the time.”

“'m sure they listen to it and think about how unique they both are. What's your favorite record?” Billy asked him; he already knew. Steve sat up on the bed and glared down at him. He had the amazing glasses on and he looked cute as shit; Billy told himself not to get a hard-on.

Steve glared at him some more. He flopped back down on his bed and grabbed his pillow and jammed it under his stomach. Finally he muttered, “Springsteen.”

“HAHA!” Billy said. “Knew it.”

“Oh, fuck you, go listen to _Kill 'Em All_ for the millionth time and think about how hard you are.”

“That ain't my favorite record,” Billy told him. “My favorite record's by Fleetwood Mac.”

“Wow, you just come out and say that, you can't say shit to me,” Steve said.

“I can and I will, why you think I call you Stevie?”

“Wow, that's really beautiful,” Steve told him.

Billy laughed. “What? She's pretty like you.”

Steve leaned over the edge of the bed and stared at him again; Billy was still telling himself not to get a boner. “You're so weird,” Steve said. He reached down and touched Billy's wrist; he was still wearing his mom's bracelet from his birthday. Steve started playing with the bracelet. Billy didn't know why he was doing that. “You get all fancy for me?” Steve said; he was being sarcastic but it almost made Billy shiver.

“Yeah, you like my Boy George shit?”

Steve laughed. “Uh, I guess so.” He was just looking at Billy. “You know, I never really met anybody like you before.”

“What, that bad or something?”

“No, it's uh, it's not bad,” said Steve. He stared down at him; Billy suddenly really wished he had the horrible Hawkins High shirt on. They looked at each other. Then Steve moved his hand away and sat up a little. Billy realized he'd been holding his breath. He let it out. “Okay, I'm sleeping,” Steve said.

“Yep,” Billy said. Steve flopped over on his side; Billy heard the mattress squeak. Billy closed his eyes.

 

He woke up twice to Steve stepping on his fucking face getting out of bed like a weird person; the first time he fell back asleep right away and the second time he didn't. Billy laid there on the floor and looked at the light in the hall that Steve'd left on. He was gone a real long time. Eventually Billy sat up and looked around, then he got up too. He wrapped his blanket that Steve'd given him around himself and felt like a shaman. It was almost 4am so he was allowing himself to be stupid.

He actually had to look for Steve for a couple minutes; the goddamn house was so big. He wasn't upstairs or in the living room or the kitchen. Kitchen was too goddamn bright; Billy rubbed his eyes like a kid. He wondered if maybe Harrington was having bathroom issues or something and Billy was just being weird, then he noticed that the kitchen was way too bright because the overhead lights at the back of the house were on. He looked out of the back door; Steve was sitting outside with Luke and Leia by the pool. His back was to Billy and his shoulders were hunched. His white t-shirt was real thin.

Billy went outside too. Steve didn't look up as Billy came over. He had his pajama bottoms rolled up and was sitting with his feet in the pool; steam was rolling off it and it looked real romantic.

Billy sat down next to him. Luke wagged his tail at him so Billy said, “Baby, baby!” Luke licked his face. Billy was real tired so he didn't laugh too much. “What you doing out here, man?”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up.”

“You have a bad dream or something?”

Steve breathed out a laugh. “Uh, I guess so,” he said. “Sorry. Actually I don't usually have any dreams when I'm around you, you're like my good luck charm or something.”

That made Billy feel weird. He thought about it. “Hey, you ever dream about some blonde lady?”

Steve made a little face and looked over at him. “Uh, no?”

“Oh okay,” Billy said; he was definitely not gonna tell him about it then.

“What, like some actress?”

“No, nevermind.” He looked out at the pool and the yard. “How come we never use your fancy fuckin' pool?”

“Oh.” Steve looked surprised. “Uh, you can use it if you want. I don't really go in anymore.”

“Max's been crying about your pool for like three months,” Billy told him.

“You guys can use it, Dustin just came over Thursday and did his swim laps for Rebecca.”

Billy shuddered. “Don't make me sick, okay?” he begged; Steve laughed.

He didn't say anything for a while. He said, “I think this is where Barb died.”

Billy stared. “Uh, in your pool?”

“I guess.”

“She drown?”

“No, she – that, that thing, the monster got her.”

 _I'm the monster._ Billy looked at his knees. “Ain't no monsters anymore.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“You dreamin' about her or something?”

Steve made another little face. “No, I never dream about her. You'd think I would.”

“What you dream about?”

“Uh, I don't know. It's stupid.”

Billy was still looking at his knees; he reached over and started petting Luke again. “Can tell me if you want. What you dream about, the monster?” Steve didn't answer him. Billy told him, “I saw it, you know?”

Steve stared at him. “ _What?_ ” he said.

“Uh,” Billy said; Steve stared at him like a crazy person. “No, no, don't freak out, okay? Jane showed me.”

Steve stared more. “She showed you,” he said blankly.

“Uh, yeah. Told you she came by my work before. She went in my head and shit.”

“Oh my god, okay,” Steve said. “That's not weird. Why'd she do that?”

“Asked her to.”

“Okay, great, uh, _why?_ ”

Billy really didn't feel like detailing that whole night to him. “Look, I dunno. We was havin' a moment. I told her to show me the shit.”

Steve was still staring at him blankly. “You asked her to show you the monsters?”

“No, I – not really. Look, I dunno. Told her to show me why she was feelin' bad. She showed me a lot of shit, I saw those fuckin' things too.”

“Okay, great, so you probably know way more about whatever went on than me,” Steve said; actually he sounded kinda amused.

“Uh, not really. Was all jumbled up. She _really_ likes waffles,” Billy told him; Steve laughed for some reason. “That what you dream about? That, uh – the Mind Flayer?” He didn't know why he knew they called it that.

“No, that's something different, apparently that hasn't got here yet,” Steve said.

“Great, that's great.”

“Yeah, apparently it controls all the others.”

Billy stared. “Okay. That's some _Outer Limits_ shit.”

“Uh, yeah.” Steve looked like he wanted to laugh. “Like – okay, when the whole thing with Barb happened, we thought there was just one. Caught it in a fuckin' bear trap. I mean, Jonathan and Nancy did. I was there. Screaming in the background, as I do.”

Billy laughed.

“Then, uh, you know last year, Dustin's favorite thing, there were all those – fuckin' – wow I hate calling them this, those demodogs running around.” He looked thoughtful. “You know, the kids probably really shouldn't have put you outside.”

“Yeah, I already know they're fucking assholes.”

“Dustin told me Mike wanted to leave me out there too, we coulda woke up together.”

Hahahaha, Billy said in his head. “Mike's for shit,” he said.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd still leave me if he had to make a choice,” Steve said, he was laughing again. He fell silent again. He looked at his legs in the pool. “There was, man, there was hundreds of those things.”

“That what your nightmare about?”

“Uh, it's not really a nightmare.” Steve didn't say anything for a while. “I just, like – look, the kids dragged me down into some fuckin' tunnel, I guess we kinda told you about that.”

“Yeah, the portal.”

“Wasn't really a portal, it was like a channel of caves,” Steve told him. “It was like, uh, the fuckin' universes were bleeding together. Felt like I was in the _Twilight Zone._ ”

“I did concuss ya,” Billy pointed out.

“Okay, you didn't actually do that, Dustin made me go to the doctor like a day later. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. They were like – there were so many of those things. We burned a lot of them.”

“Shit, man.” He still couldn't believe Harrington'd done all that; Max just talked about it like a TV show.

“Yeah, so I guess I – dream about it. It's not like – it's not a nightmare. Just feels like it's happening.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a nightmare,” Billy told him; Steve rolled his eyes.

“I just – yeah, when I'm dreaming it, I can never help anybody. They pick off all the kids. Now they kill you too, which is so fun,” Steve said. “There was – uh, when we were leaving, they all came at us. There was like fifty of them coming at us. It was just me and Dustin left down there. I thought I was dead, man. Saw my whole life flash before my eyes, I haven't done shit.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.”

“I thought I was dead,” Steve said again. “I always dream about it. I never save anybody. They pick 'em off, like, one by one, like a horror movie. Dustin. My parents. Uh, you and Max. Even that janitor that hit me with the rake.”

Billy was starting to understand why Steve didn't like horror movies. “Okay, but that ain't gonna happen.”

“Yeah, tell that to me when I'm dreaming it,” Steve said. “I just – I don't know. Sorry. It doesn't matter.”

“Uh, you ain't gotta be sorry.”

“I just, uh. Just feels like I never sleep anymore. And I'm always – I mean, when I'm by myself, it gets real bad. I mean. I'm always by myself. I got Dustin, which is cool. Really fuckin' sucked when you weren't talking to me for three weeks.”

Billy put his hand on Steve's shoulder; he guessed it was okay to do that. “I'm sorry, man.”

“No, I – uh, that's okay,” Steve said.

Billy looked at Steve; he looked at the pool. “I'm really sorry,” he said again.

“You don't have to be sorry.”

“No, no, you don't understand,” Billy told him. He moved his hand to the center of Steve's back. “I'm _really sorry._ ”

Steve stared at him; they were real close. “Uh, what are you – “

Billy pushed him into the pool.

“YOU FUCKING – “ Steve said and then he hit the water. He came up sputtering; he was laughing. He threw his head back and flipped his hair out of his eyes. “YOU PIECE OF SHIT,” he said.

Billy laughed his ass off. “Sorry, you set yourself up.”

Steve floated over to him. “You're such an asshole,” he said. “I thought we were having a moment.”

“We were havin' a moment,” Billy said; he was still grinning.

Steve was in the pool up to about his waist; he waded over and stood between Billy's legs and stared up at him. “Funny you should say that,” he said. He grabbed Billy's leg.

Billy kicked him in the chest. “No, no, think about what you're doing here.”

Steve started laughing.

“Swear to god, man – “

Steve pulled him into the pool; he was still laughing. Billy got about eight liters of water up his nose. He came up and couldn't see anything; he had all his hair in his eyes. “YOU'RE DEAD, HARRINGTON,” he said.

Steve just laughed his ass off like a little kid; he splashed Billy and then moved away. Billy pushed his hair out of his face and went after him. He got Steve trapped in the corner of the pool and came at him like a shark.

“Oh my god, stop,” Steve said; he was still laughing. “What are you gonna do to me?”

Billy could think up a couple things. “Don't tell me to stop, you started this shit.”

“You pushed me in!”

“Those are details, that's debatable,” Billy told him. He grabbed Steve by the shoulder; Steve laughed and hit him in the chest. “OH WOW, YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY DIE!”

He dunked Steve a couple times, just twice so he wouldn't actually drown. Steve just laughed his ass off; he spit water in Billy's face. “You're such an asshole,” he said; he floated away towards the shallow end.

Billy followed him; he was always following Harrington it seemed. “Gotta tire you out so you can sleep.”

“Yeah, that's really sweet, I'm sure that's what you want to do.” Steve was smiling at him; he looked so good with all the steam rising around him. You could see everything through his t-shirt. He looked like he was in a magazine again. Then he stopped smiling and grabbed Billy's arm. “Oh _shit_ , I didn't think about your fuckin' back. Are you okay?”

Billy was just looking at him. “Yeah, m'fine,” he said. “Feels good.”

“You're so weird,” Steve said again. He was still holding Billy's arm in the water. “Shit, I dunno if you're supposed to go in the water with cuts like that. Uh, I mean, I guess the pool's clean. Just, uh, don't touch the sides.” He frowned. “Maybe?”

“I'm fine,” Billy said again.

“Yeah,” Steve said. He was still holding Billy's wrist; he looked down at his hand on Billy's arm. He looked back up at Billy's face. He was just looking at him. He still wasn't letting go. “Uh, I … “

Billy just stared back at him. There was only about a foot of distance between them; he could clear that real easy. He couldn't move though. His whole body felt like it was on fire; it wasn't because of his back. He didn't know how you could be frozen and on fire and also in a pool at the same time but here he was. Steve was just staring at him. His hair was so dark around his face; he looked so good. He said, “You know, I uh, I never … “ He stopped. He was just looking at him.

Billy licked his lips. “What?” he said.

“Uh, I … “ Steve said. He was just looking at him. Billy swallowed hard; Steve stared down at his throat. Billy saw his eyes go down and back up to his face. Jesus Steve was just looking at him. Billy was still frozen; he'd never felt this way in his life. For a second he was almost sure Maxine was going to win her bet; his mind went totally blank. Steve said, “I just never … “

Then there was a huge splash as Princess Leia jumped into the pool. Steve dropped Billy's wrist finally. “OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU STUPID SHITHEAD!” Steve yelled his head off. He went and swam after his dog. “ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Princess Leia swam away to the shallow end; Steve was still yelling. Billy tried to get himself under control.

It took about ten minutes for them to coax Leia out of the pool, then Luke jumped in too to be an asshole. “Oh my god, motherfuckers, they always do this,” Steve told him. “Reason number two why I never go in the pool.” Billy couldn't believe his precious dogs were fucking cockblocking him; he lamented his life.

By the time they got the dogs settled and dried off and banished to their fancy little shed it was way past five in the morning; they went on back into the house about half-frozen and Steve gave Billy some more clothes. Steve collapsed on his bed in his wet pajama pants and fell asleep in two seconds – at some point outside he'd just thrown his t-shirt at Princess Leia in some kinda Hulk-like rage; Billy was still laughing about it. Billy got changed right there in Steve's room and then passed the fuck out on the floor too.

 

Steve got up around ten and he didn't step on Billy's face this time; Billy woke up anyway. “Hey, don't look at me,” Steve said like a dramatic bitch as he put a shirt on.

Billy wondered if he was insecure. He thought Steve looked all right. He put his hands behind his head and looked up at him from the floor. “Can't help it,” he said. Steve rolled his eyes and said, “Jesus.”

They went downstairs; Steve's mom was in the kitchen and Billy felt like a Garbage Pail Kid in two seconds with his ripped up jeans and another one of Steve's shirts that was too small on him. “Ma, can you make me coffee?” Steve asked; he was already looking into the fridge with a kind of hopeless look on his face. “When'd you get home? I didn't know you were home.”

“I've been home,” Mrs. Harrington said. She was wearing a robe and slippers and somehow looked like she'd just gone and gotten her hair done. She was real pretty even with no makeup on; she had huge brown eyes like Steve and she looked young. “I came in late last night and heard you laughing with someone, I figured I'd wait until the morning to come embarrass you.”

“That's really sweet, thank you,” Steve said. He was still looking in the fridge.

“Who were you calling a stupid shithead at four in the morning?” his mom asked. She was real dry like Steve'd said.

Steve looked guilty. “Uh, Leia jumped in the pool,” he said. “Do you remember Billy?”

“Oh yes, I remember Billy,” Mrs. Harrington said in a voice that made Steve roll his eyes.

“Hi,” Billy said like a Garbage Pail Kid.

Steve's mom was going over to the coffee machine and setting it up. She was still looking at both of them. “And what happened to Billy?” she asked. Billy stared back at her before he remembered his split lip; it wasn't that bad.

Steve was going past him to the pantry and he shoved Billy a little so's he'd sit at the table. Billy sat at the table. “I got in a fight,” he said.

“He likes doing that, I told you,” Steve said; he'd found some pancake mix. “He fought those guys at the arcade before and he fought Tommy before too.”

“I never liked Tommy,” Steve's mom said. Steve sighed and his mom ignored him. She was still looking at Billy. “I'm glad you took Steve away from Tommy,” she told him.

“Yep, not what happened, you're like a year behind, that was Nancy,” Steve said.

“Hm, I don't see Nancy here.” Steve's mom looked around; Steve sighed again. “You two always fought and made back up. Tommy is a bully,” she told Billy; he managed not to make a face. “Steven, do you remember when you were in sixth grade and you were so sad because – ”

“NO, DON'T TELL HIM THAT,” said Steve from in the pantry.

“What happened in sixth grade?” Billy asked.

“NOTHING,” Steve said. He looked real sulky with his pancake mix and he went back to the fridge. “Do we have any eggs?”

“Did you buy any eggs?” Mrs. Harrington asked him.

“Yes, did you eat them all?”

“No I did not,” his mom said. She had a pretty low voice; sounded like a movie star or something. “Did you look behind the milk?”

“Uh, no, they're not there.”

Steve's mom rolled her eyes; she went and found the eggs in two seconds as moms do. She went back to scrutinizing Billy. Billy sat and let himself be scrutinized. He felt weird as shit; he definitely wasn't going to flirt with Steve's mom and so he didn't know what to do with her. Steve gave him a cup of coffee. His mom said, “Oh. I remember now. Max. Max is your sister. I couldn't remember the name, I knew it was an M.”

“Yeah, that's my sister,” Billy said.

“You're not related, are you? You look alike. Same eyes.”

“Uh. Yeah, s'weird, right?”

“I think you two will have dinner with us next week,” Steve's mom said; she wasn't asking him.

“Okay.”

“Billy eats a lot,” Steve said like he wasn't a human garbage disposal.

“Steven can cook for us,” his mom decided. “He might go off to college next year, I'm trying to tell him he needs to learn to make something more than macaroni noodles.”

“Why?” Steve said. “I'm making pancakes right now.”

Billy didn't really want to think about Steve going off to college. He wondered if Steve'd made his mom read his terrible Huntington essay and what she'd thought of it.

Steve made his pancakes; his mom leaned against the counter and watched him. She stood by his shoulder and played with his long hair for a minute; it was such a mom thing to do. Seeing them like that hurt Billy for a second. He wasn't really jealous or anything, just hurt for a second. Then it went away.

“Honey, your pancake-flipping skills have greatly improved over the last year,” Mrs. Harrington said.

“Thank you,” Steve said.

His mom went upstairs after another couple minutes; they heard her out in the living room. “Steven, don't think that I don't see this dog hair all over the couch,” she called out.

“What?” Steve said. “That's from Billy.”

“Hm, I want you to imagine my skeptical silence for the next twenty seconds,” Mrs. Harrington said. They listened to her going up the stairs in skeptical silence.

“I like your mom,” Billy said.

“Yeah, she's okay.” Steve was eating a pancake with his hands like a goddamn savage. “Do you want any syrup?”

“What do you think I want, Steven?” Billy asked him.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Uh, I think you – probably want to not tease the guy makin' you breakfast,” he said. Billy didn't see how he was teasing him. Steve gave him the syrup though.

They ate their food and drank all the coffee; Steve let Billy turn the dishwasher on. Then Billy sat around and watched while Steve made even more coffee. He was gonna be so annoying in about fourteen minutes. He wasn't talkin' too much yet but it was coming. Billy sat and looked around. He thought he should probably leave soon; it was almost noon.

He and Steve went into the living room and watched a movie; Steve talked his head off but Billy wasn't paying attention to him. He kept thinking about Maxine even though he didn't want to think about Maxine. Steve's mom had brought her up and got her in his head he guessed. Not really because she'd been in the back of his mind all weekend; she was such a shithead.

He thought about her stuffing popcorn into her mouth on the couch and laughing about her mom's horrible breakfast; thought about her gasping when he'd found stupid George the haunted bear. Thought about her bouncing alongside him walking down Main Street to the arcade or the general store yapping her head off and thought about her waiting at his locker for her lunch money like she couldn't fuckin' count it herself. He thought about eavesdropping on her and her dad and how she'd said _He is basically my best friend here_ about him; he didn't know why she'd say that about him.

He thought about Max in a big sulk at him all last year and how she'd yelled her head off at him back in October saying _I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT YOU COULD BE FRIENDS WITH MY FRIENDS_ ; turned out he guessed he could be. He thought about Max tagging along to the movies with him and Tracey, thought about her tagging along to the movies with him and Harrington. He remembered how she'd cried in the diner the other month and then stole his orange juice. He thought about telling her what he'd told her and how she'd said _Okay, Billy, that's okay!_ in two seconds. He thought about her laughing her head off as quietly as possible in his car asking him about Keanu Reeves; he remembered her saying _Make a move!_ and telling him he could get a boyfriend if he wanted. He knew she wanted to see George Michael but maybe she actually wanted him to get what he wanted too. He guessed she really was his sister, even if she was for shit sometimes. She was such a dummy but he guessed he didn't want anything to happen to her; he didn't want her to catch the shit.

He was thinking about Sinclair too even though he didn't want to. Billy never liked to think about Sinclair and now he had to ask himself why. He knew why. If Maxine'd been going out with any other guy – Byers or Henderson or even fuckin' Wheeler Jr – Billy'd have been all right with it. He'd have the most fun in the world teasing her, even if it was some older guy and not someone in the Creepy Kid Club. He almost never teased her about Lucas; he didn't like talking about him. He knew why. He remembered thinking before he'd never said the word nigger but he'd thought it; he didn't want to be that way. He wished he wasn't that way. He didn't want to be like his old man.

The movie ended and Billy stood up. It was getting near three o'clock. “You leavin'?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, time for me to let my old man kick the shit out of me.”

Steve stared at him. “Wait, what, are you serious?”

“Wanna get there before Max comes back home.”

Steve kept staring at him. “Uh, why?”

“Don't want her to catch the shit.”

“Okay, right. Do you think he'd hit her or something?”

Billy didn't want to talk about this. “Dunno.”

Steve sat up and stared at him some more; Billy wished he wasn't looking at him. “Uh, okay, you don't have to do that.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Why do you even stay there?” Steve asked him; Billy stared at him.

“You know why I stay there.”

Steve frowned. “Okay, but there's people who can help you guys.”

Jesus Steve was too cute; he should come over and watch some Lifetime movies with Susan. “I'm fuckin' nineteen, nobody's gonna do shit for me.”

“Okay, but Max – why don't you guys – you know, you could tell somebody how he is. Your dad, I mean.”

“Oh yeah? Who we gonna tell?”

“I don't know!” Steve said. “You could – talk to Hopper or something. I bet he'd – “

“Hopper can't do shit, he ain't child services.”

“Yeah, but – “

Billy cut him off; he didn't want to talk about this. He felt so annoyed in two seconds. He didn't want to feel annoyed at Steve. “Look, man,” he said. “Don't start your bullshit with me, okay? I didn't grow up like you. Government doesn't give a shit about you when you don't got money.“

Steve looked all hurt in two seconds. “Uh, I didn't say that you grew up like me – ”

“You think nobody ever tried to help me before? People down the street, my uncle? You think my neighbors never called the – cops or some shit when my mom was screamin' her fucking head off getting dangled out a fuckin' window?”

Steve stared at him; he was holding one of the pillows from the couch in front of him like it was protecting him from something. Billy didn't know what. “I – “

“Lemme tell you what happens,” Billy told him. “Nothing fuckin' happens. My dad ain't a drunk, he don't shoot up in front of nobody. Kept the same job for fifteen years. Lemme tell you what's gonna happen. They ain't gonna do shit except make it worse.”

“You don't know that.”

“Yeah, I do know that,” Billy said. “Okay, best case scenerio, maybe they take Max away from her mom, you like that? Maybe she gets to go into foster care with a bunch of, uh, fucked up old fucks watchin' her. Better yet, probably goes off to that big group home up in Indianapolis; you'n me can go up and visit her on the weekends.”

Steve stared at him; he looked like he didn't know what to say. Finally he said, “So what's going to happen to you?”

“Nothin', I'll be okay.”

“Yeah, you're always okay, aren't you?”

Billy didn't know what he meant by that. He wished he had a jacket to put on. “Look, I'm just gonna go, my dad can throw me around for a while. Calm him down before Max'n her mom get home.”

“Yeah, I really don't want you to do that,” Steve said.

“What you want me to do?” Steve didn't answer him; he had the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows again. “I'll be fine, man.” He tried to sound like he meant it.

“Uh, okay.” Steve was just frowning at him. “Look, will you call me later and let me know you're okay?”

Billy stared at him for a moment; goddamn if he didn't sound just like Tracey worrying over him when she knew he was gonna catch the shit. He went to the door. “Yeah, whatever.”

“I'm serious,” Steve said. “Call me, okay?”

Billy put his hand on the doorknob; he wasn't looking at Steve. “Yeah, I'll call you,” he said. He went out the door and out to his car.

* * *

  
Billy's dad was waiting for him when he came home; it was about what he'd expected. Neil was sitting on the couch with the TV off and he stood up when Billy came in the door. “About time someone living in this goddamn house came home,” his dad said. In two seconds he was real close to him.

Billy closed the door. “Why you think nobody wants to come home to your shit?” he said; Neil cracked him across the face.

“I saw your car parked at Steve Harrington's house,” his dad told him. “That who you been queering around with all weekend with while your sister runs around doing God knows what?”

Billy rolled his tongue around his mouth; he was tastin' blood already. He thought it was pretty fucking scary that his dad had been driving around looking for him while he'd been at Harrington's. He was pretty sure his old man was smart enough not to come for Steve, though. If he knew who Steve was he probably knew Steve's dad about owned the whole town. Anyway just like with Max Billy was pretty sure he'd kill his old man before he let him touch Harrington. “Looks that way, don't it?” he said.

“That who bought you that fancy turntable and all those records? What'd you have to do for those?”

“All my friends got me those,” Billy said; it was the truth after all.

“Max's friends,” Neil said.

Billy spit some blood on the carpet. “Uh, my friends too,” he said.

“You don't have any friends,” Neil told him; he'd been telling him that his whole life. He pushed Billy into the wall and started smiling. Billy let him do it. “I guess you do have one friend,” he said. “How long you been hangin' around with the little nigger?”

“Oh, Sinclair?” Billy said; he watched his dad's lip curl at him saying the name. It almost amused him. “Me'n Lucas are thick as thieves, Dad!” That wasn't the truth; that definitely wasn't any kinda truth but it was worth it to see the rage and revolt split across his old man's face. Billy told him, “I been lettin' him and Max run around all year.”

“I'm glad this is a joke to you,” Billy's dad said. “I'm glad you've paid so much attention to what I've taught you.”

“Man, you ain't taught me shit,” Billy said; Neil hit him in the face again. Billy put his hands up to stop him and then put them down; he didn't know why he put them down. “What's your problem, what's your deal?” Billy asked him. “He's a fuckin' kid, he don't do nothing to nobody.” That one was the truth too.

“He had her in her room – in _my house_ – “

“Oh my god, she's a fuckin' teenager, that's what they do – ”

“Yeah, I guess you know about that, don't you?”

“Guess so,” Billy said; he wasn't going to let his dad make him feel bad about Tracey anymore.

Neil started off on his bullshit. “I'm not going to stand for people _like that_ coming into my house, my house that I work for, that I pay for. You're supposed to watch your sister, I told you you're supposed to – “

“She ain't my sister,” Billy said on autopilot. “What, what – tell me what kinda people you mean,” Billy said. “Lemme understand you, you're always askin' me if I understand you. Why you hate him so much? You hate him for being a nigger, or you hate him because his nigger parents make more money than you?”

That really pissed his old man off; he hit Billy for a while. It made Billy start laughing. “His daddy went to college, the fuck you do?” Neil choked him to shut him up and Billy saw stars. He spit some blood in his dad's face. “I been takin' her around with that kid all year,” he said. “Dropped her off at his house on Friday. Took 'em to the fuckin' Christmas dance.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Neil said.

“You know they let 'em vote now?” Billy said; he was still laughing. “It ain't the sixties anymore, they're allowed in restaurants and everything!”

“Shut the _fuck_ up,” Neil said again. “You think I'm a goddamn idiot?”

“Do you know what I think?” Billy asked him; his dad punched him in the stomach. His dad hit him for a while. Billy laughed a little more, then he stopped laughing. Probably he could stop him; after a while he couldn't stop him.

Neil left him in a heap on the floor near the hall; he gave Billy a last hard kick in the ribs and wandered off.

Billy laid there for a while. Sometimes he'd come back and it was worse if you'd got up when he came back. When his dad did come back he had his coat on and his car keys. He stood by the door and looked at Billy. “I'm not done with you,” he said. Billy knew.

He opened the door and left. A few minutes later Billy heard his old car start up. He wasn't really in a rage anymore so he probably wasn't going out looking for Max and her mom. Probably he was going to the bar; back in Cali Billy's old man liked to cool down and have a couple of drinks after he'd beat the shit out of him real good.

Billy laid on the floor for a while, then he sat up and leaned against the wall for a while. Felt like the floor was gonna swallow him up and send him into the basement; he put his head in his hands and tried to get himself under control. He thought about the quarry a couple days ago and the sky so big until he felt okay again. He never really had shit to think about to make himself feel better when he felt this way, was weird to come up with somethin' right away. He thought about that for a while until he felt okay again.

Even after the weird shakey feeling went away he just sat there. He sat there for a long time. He felt real low; he almost wanted to cry or something and he never cried. He felt real tired. He hadn't got beaten on real bad in a long time, probably since the summer, and he was tired of it. He was so tired. His neck hurt a lot where his dad had choked him and he could feel his eye swelling shut. It hurt real bad when he breathed in deep and he was pretty sure he'd cracked or bruised a rib; he'd done that once back in Riverside and it had sucked major ass.

Finally he stood up and looked at the clock over the couch; he felt like a little kid shaking in his ratty sneakers. It was past seven. He almost couldn't believe his dad had been beating on him for so long or that he'd been sitting so long; he wasn't sure which one it had been. He still kinda felt like crying a little.

He got the corded phone from off the end table and took it into his room. The cord wasn't long enough to reach his bed so Billy laid on the floor with his pillow. He cradled the phone against his ear and called Steve's number because Steve'd said to call him. He felt real low and he wanted Steve; he felt like a baby or a girlfriend or something. Wished he'd never had to leave his house; he could be eating dinner with Steve and his weird cool mom right now in a different universe.

Usually it took Harrington a couple minutes to pick up the line; he answered right away this time though and it caught Billy off guard. “HELLO?” Steve said like a crazy person.

Billy cleared his throat; it hurt like fuck. “Hey,” he said.

“Jesus Christ, I thought you were Dustin, I fucking hung up on him like four times,” Steve told him. “What happened, are you okay?”

“Yeah, m'fine.”

“What happened?”

Billy cleared his throat again. It still hurt. “What you think happened?”

“Are you _okay?_ ”

“Asked me that already.”

“Uh, yeah, because you don't sound okay. He hit you again?”

Billy laughed; it felt like falling in the gravel had. “Yeah, I got hit.”

“Okay, is it bad? Do you need me to take you to the hospital or something?” Steve asked like a den dad.

Jesus. “It ain't that bad.”

“Uh, okay, yeah, I don't really know what that means. Is he still there?”

“No, went out.”

“Okay, is Max there? Do you want me to come over?”

Definitely not, that was a bad idea. “She ain't back yet.”

“Uh, okay,” Steve said again. Billy closed his eyes for a minute; he was so tired. “Uh, BILLY?” Steve yelled his head off like a crazy person again.

“Jesus, don't scream at me.”

“Sorry, I thought you passed out or somethin'. I don't know, are you okay, man?”

“Yeah, I'm always okay,” Billy said. “Look, you wanted me to call you so I called you.”

“Okay,” Steve said. He sounded unsure of himself. “So … uh, do you want me to go or something?”

“No,” Billy said. He didn't really know what he wanted. He was so tired; he felt like cryin'. He laid his head on his pillow.

Steve sounded all worked up like when all the creepy kids were yapping at him. “Okay, sorry, I just, uh, I don't know what you want me to do.”

Billy cleared his throat again; he wondered if he was going to have a bruise tomorrow. Maybe he already had some. Jesus he felt so fucked up, he felt like a little kid. “Uh … c'n you just … talk to me for a while?”

“Uh, _talk to you?_ ” Steve said like Billy was speaking Chinese.

“Yeah, just talk to me til I feel okay.”

“Okay,” said Steve. Then he didn't say anything for about eight seconds. “Um … what do you want me to talk about?”

“I don't know, what d'you always talk about?” Steve didn't say anything again. “Come on man, you never shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry, I am a LITTLE OVERWHELMED,” Steve yelled his head off. “Usually I don't get phone calls from my friends after their dads BEAT THE SHIT out of them on a Sunday night, I don't know what to say!”

“Stop screamin' at me,” Billy told him. “Thought you wanted me to call you.”

“Okay, sorry, sorry, I did. Umm. I, yeah, sorry, I just – uh, I don't know – “

“Come on, Harrington.”

“Okay. Yeah, I, uh – okay – “

Billy rubbed his eye; it was the one that was swelling shut so's it was okay if a couple of tears were leaking out. “Jesus, you always got some shit to say, man,” he mumbled. “Uh – look, tell me how you feel 'bout me in my basketball uniform, I know you got some thoughts about that.”

Steve breathed out a laugh; it sounded like broken glass. “Uh, okay,” he said. “Bills, did I ever tell you how I feel about you in your basketball uniform? I think about it a lot, you look really good.”

“Yeah, I know I do.”

Steve laughed again. “Jesus,” he said; he sounded kinda hopeless and Billy didn't like him soundin' that way. “Man, are you _okay?_ ”

“Yeah, m'fine. Just fuckin' talk to me, okay?”

“Okay, okay,” Steve said; he still had that desperate quality to his voice. He was quiet for a couple seconds. “Okay, so, uh – when we weren't talking last month I basically just ate a lotta chips and watched like every episode _Murder She Wrote_ , I have been waitin' to discuss with someone.”

Billy'd laugh if his throat didn't hurt so bad. “Yeah, tell me.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “First off, why's that old lady have so many hats? I get that it's wardrobe but okay. Anyway. Okay, so Karen Black was in one of the last episodes I watched, isn't that your girl?”

Karen Black'd been in a lot of horror movies; she was hot as shit. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Right, so her husband dies in this one episode, Jessica's like, oh, not in my town! Hey, they're in Maine, right?”

“Think so. Everything's in Maine.”

Steve talked for a while; he had a lot of feelings about _Murder She Wrote_ apparently. He talked for a long time. Every now and then he'd ask Billy if he was okay. Billy said yeah each time and then eventually he did feel okay. Steve was still talkin' at past nine when Max burst into his room with her eyes all big like a crazy person. She stared at him on his floor.

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU DEAD?” she yelled her head off.

Billy raised his head up from his pillow. “No, 'm on the fuckin' phone.”

Maxine gasped looking at him. “Oh my god, your _face!_ ” she yelped. She raised her voice. “MOM, COME LOOK AT BILLY!” she yelled in her womanly hysteria.

“Uh, what's going on?” Steve said; Billy was trying to sit up before Susan came into his room and had a total meltdown with him laying on the floor.

“Gimme a minute, Max n'her mom came home starting their shit.” He put the phone down on the floor.

Susan came into his room and gasped her head off too. “OH MY GOD,” she said too. “WHAT HAPPENED?”

“What do you _think_ happened?” Max snapped for him.

“M'fine,” Billy said. Susan was fluttering around and touching his face; Billy smacked her hands away, not that hard. “Don't touch me, I'm fine.”

Susan glared her head off at him. Even in his injured state Billy leaned back in slight true terror; he could see where Max got her _Exorcist_ stare from. “You are _not_ fine,” she said like a mom. “Oh my god, did he really – I think we should take you to the emergency room.”

“Oh my god, don't need to go to the fuckin' hospital,” Billy said; Susan didn't say _Billy!_ at him swearing. “It ain't that bad.”

“I don't know,” Max said. “Mom, Billy has so much brain trauma, I don't know if he can take any more!”

“You're so fuckin' funny.”

“I'm not kidding!” Max yapped.

“Max, be quiet,” snapped her mom. “Can you do that for two minutes?”

Max scowled. “ _No._ ”

“I can't believe this,” Susan said; she was getting all worked up in her womanly hysteria and Billy lamented his life. “I can't believe – okay, this is ending tonight. I can't believe this, Billy, I am so sorry. I cannot – “

“Look, it ain't your fault.” Really he wanted her to stop talking.

“No, it is my fault. I'm supposed to be your – I am so sorry. I turned a blind eye for too long, I am so sorry. I knew about this before. I know everything now. I am so sorry.” She was going on and on; Max started yapping away too. Billy put his head in his hands.

After about eighty years he managed to convince Susan that he didn't need to go to the hospital; it took eighty more years to get her the hell out of his room. She was real worked up. After Susan left Max stood there staring at him. “Why'd you come home early, I told you not to!” she said.

Billy dragged himself up onto his bed. “Why you think you can tell me what to do?” he asked her. His dad wasn't home anymore and that was the important thing.

Max gazed at him with a steady level four of womenly hysteria; then she looked down at the ground. “Are you talking to someone on the phone?”

“Yeah, Harrington.” Billy didn't know if he was still on the line; he was too tired to say that to Max though.

Max picked up the phone. “Steve?” she yapped. “Are you still there?” She looked up at Billy. “He's still there,” she said. She said into the phone, “Did he tell you what happened? I know! I _know,_ I told him not to! I know. I know he does! Uh, I _know!_ Oh my god, don't lecture me!”

“Max,” Billy begged her.

“Okay, okay!” Max said into the phone, “Okay, me and my mom are home now, it's fine. Yes! I know! No, he's okay! Oh my gosh, do you want a picture?” Billy almost laughed. “Do you want to say goodnight to Steve?” Max asked him like a shithead.

“M'okay.”

“Okay,” said Max. She said into the phone, “No, he said no! We can _probably_ see you tomrrow, Billy can at least, I am getting grounded until I'm seventeen.” She scowled into the phone. “SHUT UP, STEVE! Okay, okay. I knooooow. Oh my god.” She got a weird look on her face. “Uh, right, I'll tell him. Okay! Okaaaay. Okay. Goodnight!”

She hung up the phone; she still had her weird look on her face. “Uh, Steve says he'll be thinking about your basketball shorts, WHAT'S THAT MEAN?” Billy laughed; it hurt to do so. Max jumped on his bed; just it bouncing actually hurt too. “Did you guys hook up?” she demanded.

“Oh my god, no,” Billy said; he felt annoyed in two seconds.

“Okay, okay!” Max stared at him with her bug eyes. “Are you okay, Billy?”

Jesus God no one was ever gonna shut the fuck up ever and let him go to sleep. “Yeah I'm fine.”

“You didn't have to do that,” Max told him. Billy didn't answer her. “Are you okay, do you wanna take a shower?”

Really he didn't think he could move. Most of what hurt was down to a dull throbbing ache now but he didn't want to move. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Max stared at him some more. “Can I sleep in here?”

Billy stared back at her. “Max, that's fuckin' weird,” he told her.

“No it's not!” Max scowled her head off at him. “Ew, not in your gross bed! Oh god, I should not be sitting on this.” She jumped up in two seconds; Billy wanted to laugh again. “Uh, what if Neil comes home again?”

“At this point I really can't do shit.” Max kept staring at him. “Je-sus Christ, I don't care,” Billy said.

“Okay!” Max dashed off and got her hideous Care Bears blanket and her pillow.

“What time's it?”

“Almost eleven,” Max told him.

“Jesus, your moms talked for that long?” Billy was pretty sure he was one with his mattress at this point; he felt like a dead fish on the shore somewhere.

“Yeah, she usually does.” Once more Max stared at him. “Do you want me to put a record on for you?”

“Okay.”

“You're lucky your dad didn't break this.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Max put on _Rumors_ for him. She laid on his floor with her stupid blanket; Billy fell asleep in about two seconds.

 

They woke up the next morning to Neil and Susan screaming their heads off at each other; Susan was locking Neil out of the house and making a big production of it. Max and Billy leaned out his door and listened to them going on.

“HE'S YOUR SON!” Susan screamed.

“YOU'RE MY WIFE!” Neil screamed. Max and Billy rolled their eyes; Susan made a big production out of slamming the deadbolt lock shut. Neil hammered away at the door for a couple minutes yelling and then he left. They heard the sound of his car starting up; Max looked up at Billy.

“You think he's going to work?”

“Hope so,” Billy said.

Max stared at him critically. “God, you look so much worse now,” she told him.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Billy went and showered; he did look like total shit. Felt like shit too but it was better than last night; he was okay. He'd liked Harrington's fancy bathroom but it felt good to shower in his own house. Finally he dragged himself into the kitchen where Susan was making breakfast in her womanly hysteria and Max was sitting at the table.

Susan looked at him and her eyes welled up in two seconds; she looked about ready to go off. “Oh my god, you look so much worse now,” she said.

“I already told him that,” Maxine said helpfully.

Susan slammed down a plate of pancakes in her womanly hysteria. “I cannot believe this, this is not going to happen anymore.” She went on and on in her womanly hysteria.

“What are you going to do, Mom?” Max asked her. She was choking down her second pancake and Billy was on his third; Harrington'd made them better but food was food.

“I don't know, I don't know. I'm going to think of something.”

“Yeah, we're gonna be late,” Billy said; he was tired of her talking. He jingled his car keys at Max. “Go start my car.”

“Okay.” Max took the keys and went off.

Billy stood up kind of slow; his ribs still hurt. He gathered up his and Max's empty plates and brought them over to Susan; she looked at him and looked like she was gonna start fuckin' crying again.

Billy put their plates in the sink. “Susie Q, you ain't gotta worry about me.”

“Yes I do,” Susan said. “I'm so sorry, Billy. Max told me everything, I shouldn't have let this happen. Your father shouldn't have done what he did to Lucas Sinclair. He shouldn't have done what he did to you.”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Billy said. “You don't gotta make trouble for yourself over this shit.”

Susan was shaking her head at him like a mom. “You don't have to worry about me either,” she said; Billy rolled his eyes. Like hell he didn't. Anyway he wasn't worried about her; she wasn't _his_ damn mom.

Max saved him by beeping the horn eighty times; Billy looked away. “Gotta go.”

At school Maxine followed him to his locker like a little kid; by the end of the day the whole fuckin' hoard was there looking at him. Billy opened his locker; the creepy kids stared at him. Truly they were creeping even him out and at this point that took a lot. Even Henderson wasn't talking. “Oh my god, what?”

“Nothing!” yapped the Muppet Babies; they all kept staring at him. Byers looked about ready to cry. Sinclair looked uncomfortable and even Wheeler Jr wasn't making his usual shit-face.

Billy sighed. “Jesus, the fuck you tell them?” he asked Max.

“Nothing, I didn't say anything!” Max yapped. She made a face. “Okay, I told Dustin two things.”

“Oh my god, that's worse than talkin' to a fucking newscaster.”

Henderson grinned. “Yeah, he's right, you should have known better,” he said; Max scowled and crossed her arms. “Did your dad really do this to you? You guys can come live in my basement, my mom needs help fixing it up.”

“Okay, we ain't talking about this,” Billy said. He closed his locker and started off down the hall; the creepy kids all skittered after him. “OH MY GOD, the fuck you doing?”

“What, aren't we hanging out?” Max yapped. “You _can't_ go to basketball practice like this, can you?”

Billy felt like a grumpy bitch. “Guess not.”

Sinclair was looking up at him skeptically. “You look like total shit,” he said with his infinite black wisdom; Billy felt emotional.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Sinclair stared at him. “Do you want me to buy you some fries or something?”

Billy thought about it. He'd already told his dad what great pals he and Sinclair were and got his ass kicked for it; he might as well let the kid buy him some food. He was still real tired. “Okay,” he said.

 

A couple days went by, then most of the week. Billy's face was feeling better and he could open his left eye again; he still had a ring of bruises around his neck which was kinda embarassing. Everybody'd know what that was from.

Steve met them at the arcade on Monday and somehow with their combined powers the creepy kids managed to keep him from yelling his head off.

“DON'T tell Billy he looks like total shit, he knows it already,” Henderson yapped wisely. Billy wasn't talking and he was eating the fries Sinclair'd got him.

“Shut the fuck up, Dustin, he looks okay,” Steve said in a big hysterical sulk over him; truly Billy felt touched.

Susan was still keeping Neil out of the house; she made them double-lock the door when they left in the morning and she wasn't picking the phone up when it rang every fuckin' hour. Apparently Neil was staying at some motel outside of town and he was not happy about it. Max seemed optimistic but Billy wasn't really letting himself get jazzed up; his old man knew how to work people over. Susan had to go to her job a lot but on Wednesday night she was home early and she went into her bedroom and talked to Billy's old man for an hour; Maxine was making a terrible face.

“It ain't gonna last,” Billy told her. “Get your kicks while you can, you're lucky she ain't said shit to you about Sinclair yet.”

“Uh, my mom's not racist!” Max yapped.

“I ain't talking about her being racist, I'm talkin' about my dad catchin' you without your goddamn shirt on.”

“I HAD A _SPORTS BRA_ ON!”

“STOP TELLING ME ABOUT IT!”

“STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!” Jesus three days in and she was already screaming her head off at him again.

Thursday night he and Max went over to Harrington's for dinner; Max talked her goddamn head off the whole ride over there and she was carting around the Nick Cave album she'd got him so's Steve could listen to it.

Steve answered the door before they'd rung the bell. He had a dishtowel hanging over his shoulder and Max laughed her head off. She plucked it off his shoulder and tossed it back at Billy's face as she walked through the doorway. “Found mom's good dishtowel!” she said; Billy also laughed his head off.

“What?” said Steve. “Hey, man, you look a lot better.”

“Thanks,” Billy said.

Steve's mom was in the kitchen drinking a huge glass of wine; from the state of the kitchen it looked like she needed it.

“Hi Mrs. Harrington!” Maxine said like a big charmer. She looked around the kitchen. “Steve, did you use every pot and pan that you own?”

“Yes he did,” said Mrs. Harrington.

“Oh my god, this was a really bad idea,” Steve said.

Steve's mom stared at Billy and she almost made a facial expression; Billy felt startled. “What happened to you?” she asked. “Another fight?”

Billy sat down at the table. “Uh, yeah,” he said. Steve's mom stared at him.

Max put her hand on his shoulder. “He really doesn't talk much, it's all the trauma,” she said like a shithead.

“Okay, Max,” Steve said.

Steve had made a roast chicken because his mom said it was easiest; apparently she'd supervised him the whole time, hence the wine. Max looked at everything skeptically. “Steve, these potatoes look weird,” she said with her usual amount of tact.

Steve looked like a slight crazy person; he had his dishtowel back on his shoulder. “Why, what's wrong with them?”

“You can over-mash them, sweetheart,” his mom said.

Steve ignored Billy and Max grinning at his mom calling him sweetheart. “What, really? Why didn't you tell me when I was doing it?”

“I was handling three small fires that you didn't notice.”

“Oh my god, can you please not do this to me in front of them?” Steve begged her; his mom was smiling.

“I think they look okay, man,” Billy said in support.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” said Max; Billy laughed his head off (in support).

Steve got all the shit together as Max sat at the table and yapped her head off to his mom. Somehow she was telling her about school and science class and California and also going to see Def Leppard all at once; Steve's mom was smiling at her.

“And my mom still doesn't know Billy took me!” Max finished up; she took the bowl of mashed potatoes from Steve without saying thanks. “Uh, don't tell her, please.”

Steve was leaning over the table in agitation and chewing on his nails like a gross person; if his mom and Max weren't sitting there Billy'd reach out and grab his arm. “Can you stop talking for two seconds and try my food, is it okay?”

“The chicken looks better than my mom's,” Max said in support even though it wasn't saying much. “Billy's eating everything anyway.” Everyone looked at Billy.

“What?” he said with his mouth full. “Oh, do you guys say a prayer first or somethin'? Sorry.”

“No, you're fine,” Steve's mom said; she had some kinda Billy-is-amusing face on too which was okay.

“Okay, what's the verdict?” Steve asked him.

“Yeah, it's okay,” Billy said. “Gimme a leg?”

“Oh my god, Billy.” Maxine was rolling her eyes.

“What? _Please_ gimme a leg.”

Steve gave him a leg. “You're gonna be such a good wife to someone someday, Steven,” Billy told him; Max spit her soda out looking at Steve's face. Mrs. Harrington poured herself more wine.

 

Saturday Billy went to work all day to finish up the Civic; he hadn't been able to do shit all week after Hank'd seen him on Tuesday walking in and looking like he was in a horror movie. Hank'd yelled his head off about Billy's old man and then called Miles into the shop and then they'd both yelled their heads off; Billy hadn't said shit and he didn't even know why Hank thought his old man'd done shit to him.

“I told you I can tell everything about a person by lookin' at him,” Hank'd told him. “You get into a fight at school, you'd be braggin' about it, wouldn't ya?”

“No,” Billy had lied.

“Why you let your old man knock you around?” Hank asked him. “I seen him before, you're bigger than him. Looks like a goddamn sewer rat with a mustache.” Billy hadn't answer him; he'd been organizing the brake pads in the front of the shop for no reason. “Kid sis okay?”

“Yeah, got caught with some boy in the house.”

“Uh-yuh, I see,” Hank had said. “I seen her palling around with Mike Wheeler.”

Billy'd tried not to make a face; he didn't quite manage it. “Don't make me sick. No, that ain't her guy.”

Anyway it was Saturday night and he finally had some peace and quiet. Maxine came boarding up around nine and knocked at the front til Billy let her in. Max told him that as of seven-thirty the home was still Neil-free. Billy didn't answer her; he was still waiting.

“Wanna start the Honda up?” he asked instead.

“Hell yeah!” Max said. “Did you finish it?”

“Yeah, just now.” He'd started it up before of course but this'd be the first time since all the consmetic shit was done. Max started the Honda up; she revved the engine for a couple minutes until Billy told her to stop.

“Did you see the new Jeeps?” Max asked him. “I think that's what I want when I start driving next year.”

“They ain't safe,” Billy told her; Max rolled her eyes and handed him the keys back.

“Mom said I can sleep at Bev's tonight, do you want to go to the diner? Everyone's gonna be there, I think even El is gonna be out til ten o'clock,” Max told him. It was a quarter to nine; they'd better hurry.

The diner was only about five or ten minutes away walking; Billy closed up the shop and they headed over. “El asked me if I wanted her to squeeze Neil's brains out, why does she know about it?” Max asked him. She'd wanted to walk so's she could show him a new trick on her board but all she'd done was fuck it up four times.

Billy felt true slight terror; he really hoped Jane didn't have some kinda radar. “Maybe Wheeler told her.”

“Oh, probably.”

The creepy kids were all at the diner like Max'd said. It was a Saturday night, the last night of the month. Max got a milkshake and made a big display of herself slurping it down in front of Dustin; she was waiting to meet Beverly. Henderson looked like a sulky Wookie at the table and Steve and Byers and Wheeler were over by the jukebox with Elijane. They had some faggy song playing and Steve was spinning Jane around with one arm and laughing. Billy watched him spin her for a while; he was trying not to want him again. They were in a family establishment after all.

Max leaned over into his personal space. “You're doing the tongue thing again,” she whispered to him.

“The fuck I am,” Billy said. He put his tongue back in his mouth where it belonged. He was still looking at Steve though.

The creepy kids came back to the table after a couple minutes. El stared at him for a while but couldn't really get a word in edgewise; Billy hoped again she wasn't sending him any messages or reading his goddamn mind. Right now it'd just say Steve Steve Steve anyway. He looked real good tonight; always did.

Henderson was having a crisis. “Okay, what time is the right time to touch a girl's boob?” he asked.

“DUSTIN!” said three out of five other creepy kids; Steve just rolled his eyes.

“You ain't gone to Second Street yet?” Billy said.

“IT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN,” Henderson said; he had a one-track mind.

“Are you gonna go for the left or right?” Billy asked him; Henderson looked thoughtful.

“Oh, my god,” said Maxine in disgust. “I can't believe we're talking about this again.”

“Look, you don't have to think about it, just do it,” Sinclair said. “You'll just know.”

Billy stared at him. “Will you know?”

“Um,” said Sinclair. “Not me, of course.”

“Uh-huh,” Billy said; Maxine was laughing like a little asshole.

Henderson yapped about boobs for a while as he was wont to do; at a quarter after ten Hopper drove into the parking lot in his truck and beeped the horn twice. Like usual he was smoking about six cigarettes at a time. El said by to everyone and walked out in her calm way. Henderson talked on for a million more years; he said he'd exercised a lot today and probably deserved an ice cream. “It's been a long, long month,” he said.

Steve was making a face. “How exactly do you figure biking from my house counts as a lot of exercise?”

“Uh, it's more than you do!” Henderson yapped; Steve rolled his eyes.

“Did you ride your bike here with him?” Little Byers asked.

“No, I walked,” Steve said. “I wanted to ride next to him all slow in my car shouting encouraging shit, why didn't you like that idea, Dustin?”

“Oh my god, Steve, no one thinks you're funny!” Steve was cracking his shit up anyway.

Max's girl Beverly finally came into the diner round ten-thirty; she slid into the booth next to Billy and she and Max talked their heads off to each other over him for about ten thousand years. Okay it was about five minutes. All the creepy guys shut the fuck up in the presence of a new girl; Steve was grinning at Billy in amusement.

After minute six Billy couldn't bear the girl talk anymore; he'd finished his food and most of Byers' too. “Bev, why're you fuckin' coating me in spit right now?” he asked; she'd been yapping in his ear.

“Oh, sorry!” Bev spit on him some more. “I have to wear my retainer after ten.” She pushed it out of her mouth at him and Billy started laughing. According to Max most guys thought Bev was hot shit; she was just a little dork like everyone else.

It was a little after eleven and their waitress was starting to get her usual world-weary look. Lucas paid for Billy's food and Harrington paid for everyone else's like usual. Max and Beverly took off thick as theives down towards Bev's apartment and the three creepy guys got on their bikes to go to Wheeler's.

“See you later,” Wheeler said to Billy with a minimal shit-face; Billy tried not to feel touched.

“You want a ride home?” he asked Steve.

“No, I can walk,” Steve said. “I'll walk you to your car.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “I can give ya a ride if you want.”

“It's okay, I like walking sometimes. I gotta remind myself there's no fuckin' monsters outside.”

Steve was pretty weird; Billy guessed he could dig it. They went off together down Main Street and Steve started bitching his head off like usual. Tomorrow was Sunday but he had to go into the office with his dad for some reason.

“Your old lady break the copy machine or something?”

“Yeah, she totally did, but it's not about that. Everyone's getting their tax money so we got all these extra orders to do.”

Steve talked for a while; they were the only ones on the street. Billy was looking and him and looking at him. Tommy Hall drove by them in his car drinking a beer; Billy wouldn't have even noticed him but Steve said “Oh great,” so's he looked up. Tommy stared at them as he drove by. He had two or three other people in the car with him.

“I guess that was my weekly Tommy sighting, that wasn't too bad,” Steve said.

“I ain't seen him for a minute.”

“Really? I see him about once a goddamn week, he's always got some shit to say to me.”

“Probably misses ya.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I don't think so.”

“He workin' or what?”

“I don't give a shit what he's doing,” Steve said.

Tommy Hall drove by them in his car again like a total creep. He slowed down and leaned out the window. “Hey assholes,” he said. He threw his beer can at them; it hit Steve in the head like a fucking cartoon.

“OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK!” Steve yelled his head off.

Tommy laughed his head off; he was parking his car down the street. “The fuck, you okay?” Billy said.

Steve leaned against a streetlamp with his head in his hands. The beer can was fizzing off into the sidewalk. “Uh, yeah, it was half-empty,” he mumbled. He moved his hands away; he had a big cut on his eyebrow. “What the FUCK,” he said. “WHY does this SHIT always happen to me?”

Billy was pretty sure it had something to do with the price of being in the Creepy Kid Club; he didn't know how but it was probably connected. “Okay, I'm gonna go kick his ass.” He was very jazzed up at the prospect of kicking Tommy's ass, especially for Harrington.

“What? No, nope, don't do that, he's got like half his cousins with him,” Steve said. He was still leaning on the streetlight.

“I love punchin' cousins,” Billy said; Steve sighed at him like he was being cute. Billy turned around. “TOMMY, LEMME TALK TO YOU.”

“No, no, no,” Steve said; Billy felt that he could hear a deep resignation in his voice.

Billy didn't have to go for Tommy; he and his cousins were already getting out of the car. “Hargrove, I hear you been messing with my brother,” he said.

“Okay, yeah, we're not not doing this,” Steve said.

“Shut the fuck up!” Tommy told him; he was laughing and walking up real close to them. “I cannot believe I hit you with that thing, your face is still the biggest fucking target in this town.” Billy managed not to make a face; he wasn't exactly wrong. “Hargrove, what did I tell you about watching your sister? Skateboard's still not as fast as a car.”

“What the fuck you say about my sister?” Billy asked; in two seconds he got pissed the fuck off. Okay he was already pissed the fuck off but Maxine'd caused him too much trouble lately to end the month getting shit-talked by Tommy Hall.

“Oh god, okay, I guess we're doing this,” Steve said from somewhere behind him in deep resignation.

Tommy Hall shoved Billy in the chest; Billy barely moved and felt like laughing at him. “I _said_ to keep your eye on that little _bitch_ – “

“Okay, yeah, we're doing this,” Billy said; he hauled off and punched Tommy in the face. It felt so great and familiar.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” Tommy said like he hadn't expected Billy to punch him in the face. Instantly two cousins were on him and they slammed him into the window of the general store; Billy started laughing his head off.

“Jesus Christ, WHY are you laughing right now!” Steve yelled his head off.

Billy punched a cousin in the face; Tommy was coming for Steve. “Harrington, you miss me?”

“Why the FUCK were you drinking a Miller Lite, you stupid shithead?” Steve asked him. “You could have fucking killed me!” Clearly the Miller Lite was the biggest offense of the night; Billy started laughing at at the thought of someone's cause of death being a can of Miller Lite. Steve tackled Tommy and Billy was still laughing his head off. He fought the guys all over the street; at one point he knocked Cousin #2 into Steve and Tommy and everyone fucking fell over like they was in Looney Toons.

“You fucking asshole – “ Tommy punched Steve in the face so Billy hit him in the back of the neck; Tommy went down like a bowling pin. Cousin #2 punched Billy in the face so he threw him up against the streetlamp and started punching him. He was still laughing. He hadn't gotten to wail on anyone in a while. The kids at school were different; they was just kids so mostly Bill just threw them around.

It was a pretty good fight, only lasted about five minutes. Harrington actually got a few good punches in and Billy felt real proud. Someone up over the general store turned the light on in their apartment and flung the window open. “TOMMY HALL, IS THAT YOU?” they yelled.

“Shit, okay, we gotta go _now,_ ” Steve said; Tommy was leaning against the window of the general store bleeding and Billy was still punching out cousin #2 on the ground. Steve yanked Billy off him. “Jesus Christ, don't fuckin' kill him!”

“HAHAHA!” Billy said; he spit some blood on cousin #2. “SUCK MY FAT ONE, YOU FUCKIN' PRICK!” He was being Wil Wheaton in _Stand By Me_ without the gun. Actually he didn't think that was the line anyway. Actually he should be River Phoenix.

“Oh my god, okay, you fuckin' moron!” Steve was dragging him down the street; already Billy could hear some sirens blaring in the distance. Cops never had shit to do in this town after ten but drive around lookin' for fights. He hoped Hopper hadn't gotten called out of bed. That made him laugh even more; Steve dragged him down the street and they ran across the block. “Oh my god! I'm glad this is fucking funny for you!” Steve said; his eyebrow and lip were bleeding like crazy.

“Hahahaha!” Billy said. “Hopper said if I gotta fight Tommy Hall I gotta do it after dark!”

“What the fuck?” Steve said. A police car turned down Main Street; Steve said, “OH SHIT!” and dragged Billy into the alleyway by the comic book shop. The big clock across the street was reading twelve o'five; it was officially March 1st. The cop car passed them and went on blaring down the street; they could hear people yelling way down near Dearborn.

Steve had the hem of Billy's t-shirt twisted up in his fist. “Stop fuckin' laughing, you total retard,” he said. “Oh my god, you are actually insane, I can't believe you did that. Haven't you been in enough fights this month?”

“What, I ain't do shit,” Billy said. He felt real jazzed up; he hadn't been in a real fight in a long time. “I never do anything to anyone, Steve.”

“Right, yeah, you're a total angel.”

“He fuckin' started it!” Steve was way too close to him.

“You sound like a little kid,” Steve told him. He was still holding onto Billy's shirt and Billy was gonna lose his goddamn mind in about another second. “Hey, do you think we won the fight?”

Billy was staring at him. “Yeah, we won the fight.”

“I never actually won a fight before,” Steve said; he finally let Billy's t-shirt go.

“You got in some good punches, man.”

“Thanks, I been practicing on Leia.”

“Don't say that about my girl,” Billy said; Steve laughed at him. Billy was still looking at him. His heart was jackhammering in his chest and he didn't know why.

Steve leaned up and pushed his shoulder against Billy's. He was looking out into the street. “Do you think the cops saw us? I cannot get into any more bullshit, my dad'll kick me out of the company.” He started laughing. “I can't believe you said that stupid line from the movie, you know you got it wrong.”

“Yeah, I know,” Billy said. He was just staring at Steve; Steve was grinning at him. Across the street the neon lettering from the pharmacy sign was flickering like crazy and he looked so good. His hair was crazy and his lip was bleeding and he looked so good. He was making Billy crazy.

“You fuckin' retard, I can't believe you really – “ he said and Billy couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Steve by the collar of his shirt with both hands and slammed him backwards against the brick wall of the comic book store.

Steve's eyes popped wide open and his head rocked back against the wall. The shadows back here fell across his face. “ _Ow,_ what the – fuck, what the fuck!” he said. He licked his lips; he kind of looked scared like Billy was about to punch him. “Uh, okay, what, what? What the hell are you doing?”

Billy just stared at him.

“What'd I do?” Steve said; he didn't seem to realize that Billy had gone off the deep end. Billy's heart was hammering so loud in his chest. In about another minute it was gonna come up through his throat and out his mouth. “Okay, look, I didn't actually mean you were retarded – “

“Shut up,” Billy told him.

“What?” Steve said; he was looking at him all crazy. “What'd I do?” They were real close. “What are you doing?”

“Fucking shut the fuck up for once in your life,” Billy begged him. He slammed Steve up against the wall again and leaned in and kissed him.

It was a real bad kiss; it was probably the worst kiss Billy'd ever given anyone in his life. He'd leaned in too hard and Harrington still had his mouth open because he never shut the fuck up; their teeth clicked together and Billy was pretty sure he'd just fucking licked Steve's whole tongue.

Steve made a crazy sound into his mouth so Billy slammed him up against the wall again. Steve's head rocked back against the concrete; Billy was probably giving him more brain trauma. Anyway he wasn't think about giving him brain trauma; he wasn't thinking about anything. Billy kept kissing him. He put his hand in Steve's hair and yanked his head back a little. He could taste the blood from Steve's split lip in his mouth.

After a couple seconds the rushing in his head went away and he realized he'd lost his goddamn mind. He took his hands off of Steve's shirt collar and out of his hair and pulled away. The whole world tilted up; for a fucking second he was sure he was going to fall over.

Steve was just staring at him. His eyes were huge and shell-shocked and his mouth was still open. He had some blood on his chin now too; he wiped it away with the back of his hand. He was still staring at him.

Billy felt fucking terrified; he felt rooted to the spot. He'd never felt that way before. Maybe Harrington'd made him feel like that before, not like this. He stood there frozen like a statue and waited for Steve to start yelling his head off or start punching him in the face. He felt totally fucked up and he barely even remembered the kiss already; he hadn't got to do it all nicey-nicey like he'd wanted.

Steve just stared at him. His eyes were flickering like crazy all around Billy's face; Billy couldn't move. “You … “ he said. “What the fuck, you … “ He stared some more.

“Uh. Sorry,” Billy said. He was still waiting for Steve to knock him the fuck out.

“Why did you … “ Steve stared at him some more; he looked like Billy was giving him post traumatic stress disorder. “You just … “ He started laughing.

Billy stared at him; he licked his lips. “What?” he said stupidly.

Steve kept laughing at him; he was laughing his ass off. Billy was going to have to kill him in two seconds. It was a goddamn tragedy.

“I can't believe you did that,” Steve said.

“Uh, what?” Billy said. He was still frozen and still waiting to get punched in the face. He'd never felt like this before.

Steve kept laughing. He leaned back against the concrete wall and ran his hands through his crazy hair. “Oh shit,” he said. “I guess you really like my cooking, huh?”

Billy said, “What?”

“That was really fucking bad, man,” Steve said. He was still staring at him; Billy felt so scared. He said, “I think you can do better than that.” He grabbed Billy by both arms of his jacket and yanked him hard; Billy almost fucking fell on him. Steve said, “You stupid shithead.” Then he started kissing him back.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple in probably their late thirties passed by them arguing; Max gestured at them with her pizza. “She's pissed off because she knows he's sleeping with the pool boy, she just found his swim trunks behind their bed,” she said.
> 
> The couple snipped away at each other for a couple minutes; the woman was gesturing with her shopping bags. She turned away to look into a display window and the guy made a huge face at her back.
> 
> “Yeah, he's thinkin' about the pool boy right now,” Billy said; Max cackled into her soda like a witch.
> 
> “Oh! Joe!” she said in a moony voice. Billy laughed real loud. “That's the pool boy, he's twenty-five.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I said I wasn't going to do this but I'm gonna do this; I always do this with my stupid writing. So this chapter was getting too long and I'm insane and I have too much stuff I want to do with the storyline for this 'month' - seriously, it was going to end up being like 50k. I didn't want to make you guys wait for forever so I'm splitting this one up into two parts; I think it will still flow okay and it means we get more content (aka I get to write way more boy sex, seriously so much boy sex).
> 
> Anyway, isn't it fitting that this dumb story should have eleven (Eleven!) chapters?
> 
> I don't have that many notes for this one! This is the chapter that moves this fic from mature to explicit, it's not too too much yet but watch out for dick holding! @desfinado helped me with the sexy stuff; they are the best.
> 
> EDIT: what the hell, this got up to 400 kudos when I woke up today, I LOVE Y’ALL! You guys are the best.

**Chapter Eight**

_I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through_  
_Didn't know how lost I was until I found you_  
_I was beat, incomplete_  
_I'd been had, I was sad and blue_  
_But you made me feel_  
_Yeah, you made me feel shiny and new_  
_Like a virgin touched for the very first time_  
_Like a virgin when your heart beats next to mine_  
_Gonna give you all my love, boy_  
_My fear is fading fast_  
_Been saving it all for you_  
_'Cause only love can last_  
– ‘Like a Virgin,’ Madonna

 

 ** **March 1987****  
  
The clock on the pharmacy across the street had read 12:08 when Steve started kissing him. It read 12:15 by the time they stopped. Seven minutes was a really long time; seven minutes wasn’t shit.

He still had Steve up against the wall; Steve’d dragged him there. Steve Steve Steve – Billy coudn’t think anything but the name. Nothing in his brain seemed to be working properly. He was pretty sure he was kissing back.

Steve had him by his elbows, pulled tight against him. He let go after a moment and somehow found the collar of Billy’s jacket. He yanked Billy forward even closer and then this time Billy did fall on him – “ _Shit,_ ” Billy said. Steve grinned into his mouth. Holy shit. Steve.

It was different than kissing a girl which was a stupid thing to think; he definitely wasn’t kissing a girl. Wasn’t bad – was about what he’d thought about, and he’d thought about kissing Steve a lot.

Steve’s mouth was wider than some girl’s but just as soft. His whole body was bigger too and Billy didn’t feel scared that he was gonna fuckin’ break him or something. Steve really was a goddamn inch taller than him; Billy lamented his life. Then he stopped lamenting his life because Steve’s tongue was in his mouth. Holy shit.

Somehow Billy managed not to have a seizure. He couldn’t believe Steve’s tongue was in his mouth; it didn’t make any sense.

He felt real scared but after about eight seconds he stopped feelin’ scared. If there was one thing he knew how to do it was fix a car; yep that was his brain fucking spiraling out. If there was another thing he knew how to do it was kiss someone so he did that. If Steve wanted to punch him later Billy guessed they’d get to that. He rolled his tongue in Steve’s mouth and Steve made a sound low in the back of his throat; it made Billy go crazy and kiss him even more.

He was pretty sure he owed Tommy Hall a huge thank-you letter somehow. Clearly Tommy’d given some Harrington super brain damage throwing him around. Steve said, “ _Fuck,_ ” and put his hand in Billy’s hair; Billy’s mind brain short-circuited again. Pretty soon it was gonna start melting out his fuckin’ ears.

Everything was spinning and Steve was too close to him. He put his hands on Steve’s waist and shoved him back into the wall; he didn’t want Steve to feel his huge fuckin’ hard-on. He held him there for a while and they stayed like that, with him holding Steve’s hips against the wall and Steve with his hand in Billy’s hair. Holy shit. Steve.

Billy was pretty sure Steve was feelin’ his prick anyway. They were too close; Billy wasn’t gonna back up and let him go for shit. Steve kept pushing himself up off the wall and into Billy; Billy’d slam him back into the wall. Steve apparently thought this was hilarious. He kept making sounds and laughing into Billy’s mouth and Billy wasn’t going to stop him or shut him up either. Holy shit you could have your tongue in Steve Harrington’s mouth and he still wouldn’t shut the fuck up; was about as much as Billy’d figured. It was amazing.

He moved his hands up; he was moving too slow and too fast, didn’t know what was going on. Steve’s skin felt warm though his t-shirt. His jeans were slung low on his hips and Jesus Billy wanted to touch him. His blood burned with it; it was rushing through his veins like fire. God he wanted him, he wanted him. Could think up like a million things to do if his fuckin’ brain would ever start working again. He pressed his thumbs into the points of Steve’s hipbones and Steve shifted against him again; his mouth was so hot.

Steve kinda smelled like a Miller Lite which Billy didn’t mind; he kinda tasted like blood still which Billy also didn’t mind. He bit Steve’s bottom lip and Steve made another one of his crazy sounds; Billy was gonna lose his mind. He kept waiting for Steve to push him away or for his own fuckin’ body to just shatter apart but neither of those things were happening. He kissed Steve and kissed him; felt like all the air was being sucked out of his lungs. Probably wouldn’t get to do this again.

A light fell upon them; someone was turning onto Main and they jerked apart. The car drove past them and roared down onto Clearfield. Billy saw the red of the brake-lights as it passed, could hear the bits of gravel spitting out under the tires. It was real quiet again; you could even hear the neon light buzzing across the street.

They were frozen together like statues for a moment; Steve finally pushed him away with two fingers and Billy backed up.

“Oh, shit, okay,” Steve said. He was still leaning against the wall of the comic book store and his eyes were wide; he had his shell-shocked look back on. His chest heaved up and down. “Okay,” he said again. “Maybe, maybe not the best place to, ah, do this, here.” He pushed himself up off from the concrete and put his amazing hands in his pockets. “Do you think they saw us?”

“Uh,” Billy said. He couldn’t really talk; his brain hadn’t yet caught up to his heart and his dick. “Dunno. Pro’lly thought you was a really tall girl or something.”

Steve huffed out a laugh like a crazy person. “That’s great, that’s, I’m glad you’re still – I’m glad you think this, this is funny.”

“Don’t think it’s funny,” Billy said. Now that he wasn’t kissing Steve he was starting to feel real scared again. He didn’t know what to do now. Steve could still take it back; probably he was gonna take it back.

That was okay. Billy put his hands in his pockets too.

“Okay,” Steve said. They stared at each other. Billy looked across the street; it was twelve-sixteen. They were just standing in the alleyway. “Okay,” Steve said again. “Yeah. Yeah. I don’t – so I don’t – uh, what just happened?”

Billy stared at him: he’d been there for it. “You kissed me.”

“OH, RIGHT!” Steve said like a crazy person. “THAT’S RIGHT, THANKS, I FORGOT. Okay, uh, and that, that’s not what – you did it first.”

“Uh. M’aware of that.”

“OKAY,” Steve said again like a crazy person. ”Why – why – why did you do that?”

Billy chewed on his bottom lip. He thought about it. He was so scared again, was worse than his dad beating on him. “Wanted to.”

“O-okay.” Steve looked really overwhelmed. “Uh, yeah, okay. Well, I – uh, you probably – probably shouldn’t do that in, in the middle of fuckin’ Main Street.”

“Right.” Billy stared at him. His brain still wasn’t working; most of his blood was in other areas currently. He thought about it some more. He had a couple questions. “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said loudly; he still looked overwhelmed. “I, I, uh, yeah, I don’t, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He was still waiting to get knocked the fuck out; might as well put all the cards on the table.

“We should – uh, yeah, I don’t.” Steve kinda looked like a robot short-circuiting now. “I. We should probably – go – “

“Yeah,” Billy said. They walked back out onto the sidewalk; streetlamp was too bright.

“Okay,” Steve was still saying. “Okay, okay. Yeah, I gotta – uh, yeah, I gotta think. I gotta think about this.”

“Okay,” Billy said too; it was the word of the night.

“I have to be at work in six fuckin’ hours,” Steve said inanely. “I have to, yeah, I, I have to go home.”

“Okay,” Billy said again. He was sure he knew other words than that; once in his life he’d known whole sentences. “You want me to give you a ride?”

Steve laughed a little and it died in his throat. He still looked overwhelmed; Billy didn’t blame him. “Uh, yeah, no, that’s – I definitely need to walk right now.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He still didn’t know what to do. “Um … are we cool, man?”

Steve stared at him for a moment and then he smiled, a corner of his mouth going up, and Billy hadn’t been expecting that. “I, uh. Yeah, yeah, we’re cool.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Yeah. Okay. Uh, I just need to think for a while.”

“Okay,” Billy said again.

”Yeah. Uh, I’m gonna stop, stop talking now.”

“Can you do that?” Billy asked him.

“Fuck you.” Steve started walking; he turned around and started walking backwards and looking at Billy. He was biting his lip and he had his hands jammed in his jacket pockets; Jesus Christ he was the cutest guy in Hawkins. Billy didn’t know how he wasn’t crashing into stuff. “I gotta work til five, call me tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“I’m serious,” Steve told him.

“Yeah, I’ll call you.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Okay. Fucking call me, asshole. I’m serious.” He stared at Billy some more; he rounded the corner and disappeared.

Billy kept standing there for a couple seconds more. Holy shit. He counted to ten and got himself under control. Steve Steve Steve. Okay. He was gonna call him. He hadn’t even gotten punched. Jesus Christ.

He walked the two blocks down to his car; he just about walked into the fuckin’ parking meter. He tossed his keys a couple times and caught them. Okay he dropped them once, and walked into a second parking meter.

Seven minutes in heaven, he thought like a total fag; he started grinning. He had a huge hard-on the whole drive home.

The door was locked at the house but the TV was on and when he came in Max was asleep on the couch. Billy stared at her; thought she was supposed to be at Bev’s. Then he almost fuckin’ stepped on Bev on the floor right away. Seeing the Muppet Babies killed his erection; he guessed he wasn’t whackin’ off tonight. That was a lie because he was definitely going to go jerk off.

He picked George the haunted bear up off the floor and put him next to Max on the couch; he got the blanket off from the loveseat and covered her with it. Max’s eyes popped open and Billy froze getting caught doing something nice. “What you doin’ here?” he asked her.

“Bev’s mom was drunk, we just came here,” Max told him in a whisper. She sat up and looked at him all critical; her hair was stickin' up on one side like a cartoon. “Why do you look  _more_  screwed up?” she asked. “And … why do you look happy about it?”

Billy stared at her. He didn’t really want to tell her about Harrington just yet; she’d scream her fuckin’ head off and all the neighbors would know in two seconds. Steve might still take it back or change his mind. ”Got in a fight with Tommy Hall,” he told her.

“Oh. We saw all these cop lights in front of Joyce’s work, I guess that was you.”

“Yeah, was me.”

“Looked like Hopper was booking him. Tommy said something and Hop threw him against his Jeep!”

Billy felt like laughing; he guessed he’d got the chief out of bed anyway. ”I’m goin’ to bed.”

“Please wear a shirt in the morning,” Max advised him like a shitheel; Billy ignored her.

He went into his room and locked the door, then he jerked himself off thinkin’ about Steve’s tongue in his mouth and Steve’s hand in his hair. Holy shit. He thought about those things for a long time after, too. He didn’t fall asleep for a while.

A huge voice in his head was screaming like a siren. It was screaming that he’d kissed a guy, what that meant and what it was going to mean, that was something he couldn’t take back. A bigger voice was piping up, too, going on and on. It was a whisper but it was somehow so much louder than the first. It was saying,  _but he kissed you back_.

 

* * *

 

He woke up way too early the next morning; he laid around in his bed for a long time trying to fall back asleep. That wasn’t happening so eventually he got up. It was a little after eleven and Max and Susan were sitting around at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.

Billy went to the fridge and drank some orange juice out of the carton; Max looked at him like he was a troll. “Where’s Bev at?” he asked her.

“She had work at ten.” Beverly worked out at the supermarket; not the main one but the little convenience store out by the woods near Henderson’s house.

“Oh.” Billy looked around at them; he felt so restless and it was only the mornin’. Jesus what the fuck was he gonna do til five o’clock. “What you guys tryin’a do today? Susie Q, you gotta work?”

The girls stared at him. “No, I have off,” Susan told him.

“Okay.” Billy didn’t know why they were lookin’ at him; it’s not like he never fuckin’ talked to them. “You guys want me to take you out for breakfast or somethin’?”

Still they stared at him. Susan looked kind of amused which frankly Billy didn’t feel was necessary. “Can you handle being seen with me in public?” she asked him.

“Oh my god, all right,” Billy said. He closed the fridge. “You’re funny, I’m going to take a fuckin’ shower.”

Susan turned a page in her newspaper. “Billy! Please.”

“Freakin’ shower,” Billy amended.

“Thank you.”

Billy took his freakin’ shower and tried not to think about Steve; he didn’t need to get hard again. When he finished the girls were dressed too and still giving him weird looks. They went out to his car; Max squished happily into the backseat.

Susan stared at the dried blood on the driver’s seat; just her looking at it made the scabs on Billy’s back fucking itch. ”What, what is that?” she asked in a weird voice. “Is that blood? What is this from?”

Billy started the Camaro up; Max popped her head up between them. “Uh, that’s from when YOUR HUSBAND threw Billy all around the yard last week,” she said all snitty.

“Okay, Max,” Billy said.

“Oh, my god,” Susan said still in her weird voice. “Are you being serious?”

“He tried to throw _me!_ ” Max yapped.

“He didn’t fuckin’ throw you,” Billy said.

“Mom, you know this!” Max said. “He tried to! He hit Billy like four times!”

Billy didn’t say anything; it’d been more than four times. Susan was still staring at the blood on the seat. “I just didn’t realize he did all this,” she said in a subdued tone.

“It’s not that bad,” Billy said.

Max leaned over even further. “That is _probably_ the least incriminating stain in this car anyway,” she said like a shitheel.

“ _Maxine,_ ” Susan said in horror; Billy laughed his ass off.

They went to Hathaway’s and Billy felt blessed and surprised that no creepy kids were around for once; he didn’t think he could handle that right now, even if it was just Will or somethin’. They sat at the counter and Max yapped her head off to her mom.

Billy was drinking a whole pot of coffee to try and calm himself down; Susan told them that she was meeting Neil for dinner out in Eastgate on Thursday and Max scowled her head off.

“So Billy’s dad beats the crap out of him and you go out on a date with him?” she demanded at a level five in her womanly hysteria. “That’s really great, Mom.”

“It’s not a date,” Susan said. “He wants to talk to me, I owe him that. We locked him out of his own house.”

Billy didn’t say anything; Max regenerated a second head and then scowled that one off too. “Why can’t you just divorce him? We can go and stay with Aunt Cindy.”

Billy gave Max a look; he certainly wasn’t going to stay with Aunt Cindy. He didn’t have an Aunt Cindy. He still wasn’t saying anything though. Susan said, “It’s not that simple, Max.”

“Uh, _yes it is._ ” Angrily Max ate her fries.

Back at home Billy still felt too restless; it was only one o’clock. How was he supposed to live until five, he asked himself again. He didn’t even know why Steve wanted him to call him. Jesus he probably wanted to _talk_ ; Billy lamented his life.

He organized his records; he went down to the basement and brought the rest of them up. He cleaned his room. He did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. He washed his clothes. He worked out til he thought he’d die; he still felt like jumping out of his skin. He came out of his room and went to get his clothes from the basement; the girls were sitting on the couch now watching TV. It was only four-thirty.

Billy sighed heavily; Max and Susan stared at him. “What?” Billy said.

He went and got his clothes. It was only four forty. Jesus God. Actually he probably shouldn’t call Harrington right at five; he’d only said he was leaving work then. Billy should probably wait til six. Six-thirty. Seven. Seven-thirty. No that was too late; what if he wanted to do something. God. Okay seven. Six forty-five. Seven was okay.

He was still standing there holding his clothes. Max and Susan stared at him; Max had her eyebrows all drawn down and Fleetwood Mac was blaring away in his room. “What’s up with you today?” Max asked. “Are you having a nervous breakdown?”

“Screw off,” Billy said. He went and put his clothes away; it was four forty-five. Jesus fucking Christ, he was worse than a damn girl.

He thought about it. He put his Misfits hoodie on and went outside. He went out to their little garage at the back of the yard and started messing around with Susan’s car; she had an old Ford Explorer and it hadn’t been running for about six months.

He looked under the hood for a while. He was pretty sure the engine was okay; everything looked clean. Battery cable might be fucked. One of the connectors had a big crack in it; of course it was the one with all the wires that went down under the engine. He pulled himself under the car and messed around with the starter for a couple minutes.

The gravel was crunching away as someone walked up to him; he could tell it was Max. “What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Billy wriggled out from under the car and shook some gravel out of his hair. He looked at the engine again.

“Neil says the car’s dead.”

“It ain’t dead.” Billy rolled his eyes. Really he should have looked at this shit months ago. He’d been meaning to; could never keep his mind on one thing for more than a damn minute. “Get me my shit outta my car, okay?”

Max looked at him for a moment. “Okay,” she said. She went off and came back lugging his tool kit; she gave him her mom’s keys too.

Billy gave them back to her. “Try and start it.”

“It doesn’t start.” Max climbed into the Explorer anyway and tried to crank the engine; it didn’t even turn over. “See?” she called out the window.

“Okay.” Billy thought about it. “Go get me a rag or somethin’.”

“Okay,” Max said again; Billy wished she’d take this kinda direction all the time. She went into the house and came back out. She tossed Susan’s third-best dishtowel at him. Billy got a wrench clamped around the battery connector and held it down.

“Try and start her again.”

Max stared at him, then she went on back into the driver’s side and turned the key again; Billy held down on the battery. The car sputtered and roared to life. “HAHAHA!” Billy said; that was easy shit. The car started making a weird clicking sound two seconds later. “Okay, yeah, that’s the tranny.”

Max stuck her head out the window. “The _what?_ ”

“The TRANSMISSION, shithead,” Billy said; Max grinned at him. “Okay, turn her off.”

Max turned the car off. “Hahahaha,” Billy said again.

“What’s wrong with it?” Now she was leaning over the engine too.

“Pro’lly bout a quarter-million things. Yeah, if we can get it started again, it’ll run off the accelerator. Battery’s fried, needs a new cable too. Starter’s okay I guess.”

“I don’t know what any of that means.”

“Starter was part of what died on my car,” Billy told her. “This one’s way easier to get to.” Max nodded real serious even though her face was sayin’ she’d rather be inside watching _General Hospital_ with her moms. Billy was thinking about it. ”Can take it to the garage, Hank’ll fix all the shit I can’t.”

“We don’t have money for that.”

“Yeah, m’aware of that,” Billy told her. He lit up a cigarette.

Max thought about it too. “Do you think we can owe Hank?”

“Maybe, figure somethin’ out.” Billy was pretty sure he owed Hank already, just for giving him a fuckin’ job way back last year. Goddamn he’d been a surly asshole the first time he’d walked into the autobody shop.

“Why are you helping Mom?” Max asked him; she was giving him a big weird look.

“I’m not helping her, I‘m fucking bored,” Billy said. Anyway: “Don’t got a problem with your mom.”

“Uh, you will when she moves Neil right back in here next week!” Max yapped her head off.

“S’easier that way,” Billy told her again.

Max rolled her eyes; she’d never understand. She wandered back inside and Billy stood around smoking for a few minutes. He looked at his wristwatch; it was only five-fifteen. Jesus Christ.

He went on back inside; once more the girls stared at him.

“Did you start my car?” Susan asked him in a weird voice.

“Yeah, for like a minute.”

“Billy says Hank can fix it for us,” Max told her mom.

“We don’t have money for that,” Susan said.

“Uh, we’re aware of that!” Max yapped; Billy rolled his eyes.

“Can take it in and get a price on it,” he said. “I’ll do that before Thursday.”

Susan stared at him; she knew what Thursday was. “You don’t have to do that.”

Billy didn’t answer her. He knew he didn’t have to do that. Susan needed a car; he thought again how he’d meant to look at hers before. The train was like a mile from their house still and she walked there every time she needed to go into work. Wasn’t like out in the city where the bus ran on every block.

Max was still staring at him too. “Do you want to watch _Unsolved Mysteries_ with us?” she asked him.

“The hell’s that?”

“It is this new crime show, it’s like _Dateline_ but they do a bunch of stuff,” Max told him. “Last month there were ghosts!”

Susan had three episodes taped; they watched one and then she got up to go and make dinner. Billy took her spot on the couch. He got kind of into _Unsolved Mysteries_ , the music was pretty cool. He and Max were laughing at a shitty reenactment of a shooting when Susan came back out and said that dinner was done.

Billy looked at his watch; somehow it was seven-forty. He said eight million creative swears in his head and got off the couch. “I gotta make a phone call.”

Max gave him a weird look. Billy ignored it and dragged the phone off into his room. He was feelin’ real scared again; Steve could still take it back. Anyway Billy said he’d call him so he called him. He dialed the number.

“Hello?” Steve said two seconds after the phone started ringing. Billy felt surprised again.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Billy said again like a goddamn moron.

“Yeah, hi,” Steve said. Billy wondered if they were gonna do this all night. “Uh, what’re you up to?”

“Nothin’,” Billy said. “Said you wanted me to call you.”

“Uh. Yeah, I did.”

Billy was wrapping the phone cord around his wrist; he didn’t know what to say now. Goddamn he was supposed to be cooler than this. “So did you do your thinkin’?” he mumbled into the phone.

“Uh, yeah, I did.” Steve said again; he sounded amused. “Did you?”

“I don’t need to think about it,” Billy told him and then felt like a huge dumb asshole.

“Okay.” Steve still sounded amused. “So do you want to hang out or something?”

Okay okay okay cool cool cool. Jesus fucking Christ. Billy took about four seconds to compose himself so’s he wouldn’t yelp like a huge girl. Steve might still change his mind.

Maybe that’s why he wanted Billy to come over; maybe Steve wanted to laugh at him when he saw his face. He didn’t really think that was somethin’ Steve would do but he also knew you could never really trust nobody, not for real. He’d been shown that a lot of times _and_ he’d shown people that, too. Tracey crying her eyes out, Max’s surprised little face when he’d twisted her wrist last Halloween. Every time Susan’d thought Billy was cool with her back in Cali and then he’d scream in her fuckin’ face; he was just like his dad. The way Steve’d looked when Billy had shoved him out the window last month.

Even so there was this little part of him whispering _maybe, maybe_. Maybe just once. He pushed all those faces out of his head. He hadn’t been that bad lately, was trying to be better. He said, “Yeah, we can do somethin’.”

“Uh, okay,” Steve said. “I actually – yeah, my dad’s, my dad’s here right now, this never happens. He’s got like five of his friends here all drinkin’, is there anyone over at your place?”

Billy lamented his life. “I got Max and Susan on the couch watching _Unsolved Mysteries_.”

“No shit, that’s what my dad’s watching,” Steve said. “My mom is walking around makin’ a million comments. I thought your stepmom’d be at work.”

“Usually is.”

“Okay, cool, they are never home,” Steve said; Billy was pretty sure it was the curse of Hawkins again. “Uh, so I don’t – okay, it doesn’t have to be tonight. What are you doin’ tomorrow?”

“Uh, I gotta work at five.”

“Oh, right.” Steve sounded bummed. “Okay, well I – “

“I can call out.”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” Steve said. “I can — yeah, I can leave early.”

“I can go in late.”

“Okay.” Steve sounded amused again; Billy wondered what kinda face he was making. “I got a lot of time, I can leave at like three. You wanna come over at four?”

“Okay,” Billy said too. He hesitated. “You wanna – you wanna talk or somethin’?” He was dreading it.

“Um, if that’s what you want to do.”

“Think you know what I wanna do,” Billy said; he thought up eight ways to kill himself in two seconds.

“Oh my god, okay,” Steve said faintly. “So I – “

“See you tomorrow,” Billy interrupted in a panic.

“Yeah, okay. See you at four.”

They hung up. Billy stared at the phone for a couple seconds. Steve still hadn’t taken it back, but now he had to wait til tomorrow. Jesus Christ.

He took the phone back out to the living room and flung himself onto the couch in a big sulk; Max was staring at him.

“Who were you talking to?”

“No one,” Billy said in a big sulk.

Max rolled her eyes. “Mom burned dinner,” she informed him.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Now she is trying to blame the stove, she says it cooks uneven,” Max said.

Billy laughed; he tossed the remote at her. “Start the show.”

“Okay.” Max took the remote. They watched the last _Unsolved Mysteries_  together.

 

* * *

 

Somehow the rest of the night and the morning passed; Billy spent a lot of time picking at himself before school started and internally freaking the fuck out. He didn’t know why he was being like this. Jesus he really was worse than a goddamn girl.

To feel like less of a girl he put on his Def Leppard shirt; Steve’d seen all his goddamn clothes already anyway. It’s not like he was trying to get a fuckin’ boyfriend.

Max came in and stared at him messing with his hair in the mirror. “Are you okay?” she said slowly; it was six fifty-six on Monday morning. Usually on Monday morning he’d be in bed til seven-fifteen and Max’d be screaming her head off that he was gonna get them detention.

Billy gave up on his hair; he wondered again why he’d cut it. He looked like fuckin’ Molly Ringwald with a perm or some shit. “Leave me alone,” he begged Max.

He made a face in his mirror; he had a new bruise on his cheekbone from Tommy’s cousin punching him and his left eye and his neck were a fading gray-yellow from his old man last week. Would be nice if he could look good for one fuckin’ day, just one.

He turned and checked his ass out in the mirror; at least he still had that.

Maxine would never leave him alone. She leaned against the doorframe into his room and made a horrible face at him checking himself out. She looked at him critically. “In class we learned male schizophrenia can start right around your age, you might wanna talk to someone,” she said.

“You’re such a piece of shit, Max,” Billy told her. He grabbed up his jacket in a big sulk and stomped out to his car. Max followed him with a big ol’ Billy-is-amusing face on; he definitely wasn’t going to tell her shit about Harrington. Max looked amused at him the whole ride to school; at his locker she bitched her head off about her lunch money for eighty years until he gave her an extra two bucks and sent her off to class with Little Byers.

The day dragged on and on; in study hall Henderson tossed his backpack on the tabletop and stared down at him. Billy’s eye twitched with Dustin looking at him. It took all his might not to knock the whole fuckin’ tabletop over.

Dustin stared at him and looked amused. “Are you having another stroke?” he lisped.

Billy’s eye twitched again. “Henderson, I cannot deal with your fucking _shit_ today, okay?” he gritted out. “Go and sit with your girl.”

Dustin was taking his backpack. “Billy, I appreciate you using your words!” he yapped. “Do you want a candy bar?”

Billy’s eye twitched and somehow he managed not to scream again. “Okay what you got,” he said.

Henderson gave him a Three Musketeers very carefully. “Good boy!” he said like Billy was a fuckin’ dog.

Billy took the candy bar. “Go the fuck away,” he told Henderson.

Henderson went the fuck away.

Billy ate his candy bar; he threw Tommy Hall’s brother into a trash can for Will as was the Monday tradition. He suffered through shop class and he glared at Nancy Wheeler passing back all their assignments in English. Usually he didn’t care enough about Nancy to glare at her but today he was glaring at her. Anyway he should probably be thankin’ her for being a huge fucking idiot and dumping Harrington last year.

Finally school ended after a thousand million years; Will was waitin' at his locker and he told him that Max'd gotten detention mouthing off in Earth Science.

Somehow Billy managed not to yell his head off once more; wasn't Byers' fault. God he should just fuckin' leave her. He had a little time to kill, though. Not a lot but a little.

He and Will went and leaned against the lockers by Max's science classroom. Byers was talkin' and talkin' for once and that was okay; he was Billy's goddamn favorite after all. He was a good distraction. Billy started listing records he thought the kid would like; Wills looked like he wanted to pull a pen out and start takin' notes.

Finally Max came bursting out of the classroom with her books held against her chest and a scowl on her face; Billy bitched her out for a couple minutes and then drove her and Will down to the arcade.

The kids spent fucking forever mooching around in his car; Billy was trying not to scream again. Max was putting on three different lip glosses and yapping her goddamn head off. Billy gritted his teeth; it was five after four.

“Do you want to come and hang out with us?” Max asked him; she smacked her lips together in his rearview mirror like a gross gremlin child.

Billy struggled not to gag. “I got shit to do.”

“Okay, how late are you going to be at work?” Max went on and on. Jesus God she was truly killing him. “Do you want to get food after? Mom’s working late, she left us a casserole and I can already tell how good _that’s_ going to be so I thought – “

“Maxine! Outta my fucking car!” Billy begged her.

“Okay okay! God!” Max took eighty years to open up her door and climb out, then she took eighty more years pushing her seat up so Will could get out. “I’m just going to take my board home, see you later!”

“Yeah, later.” Max took eighty more years getting her skateboard and shutting the door. She and Will stood on the sidewalk looking at him as he put the Camaro in gear and drove off.

Steve’s house was less than a five minute drive from Main Street; Billy freaked himself the fuck out twice and calmed himself down twice getting there. Felt like he really was having a goddamn nervous breakdown, did that shit really happen?

Probably nothing was gonna happen. There was no way. Maybe Harrington’d just gotten caught up in the moment on Saturday night or something. It’d been right after the first fight he’d ever won after all. Maybe he’d just been horny; you could kiss just about anyone if you were hard-up enough. Billy certainly knew that.

He didn’t know why he was doing this to himself. Nothing was gonna happen.

He got himself to Steve’s in one piece and parked his car on the street. He got out and just went right up the walkway; he wasn’t gonna give himself time to freak out. He wasn’t gonna do it to himself. He knocked on the door.

Steve answered in two seconds like he’d been waiting for the door; probably he’d been walking by or something. He was still in his blue shirt from work and tan pants and he had the amazing glasses on. Billy thought he looked fucking incredible.

“Hey,” Steve said all surprised like it wasn’t four-fuckin'-fifteen and he hadn’t told Billy yesterday _see you at four_.

“Hey,” Billy said.

“Hey,” Steve said again; Billy was about to start lamenting his life again. Steve was just hangin’ onto the door with one hand and Billy wondered if he was gonna slam it shut on him.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“Uh, that’s okay. You wanna come in?”

“Okay,” Billy said.

Steve let him in. He stared at him. “You want something to drink?”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Uh, okay,” Steve said too. He led Billy into the kitchen and started going through the fridge. Billy stood behind Steve and admired his ass; nothing was gonna stop him from doing that. “You want a root beer?” Steve asked him; he knew what Billy liked.

Billy stopped looking at his ass. “Okay,” he said.

Steve gave him the root beer, then he stood looking at Billy for a couple seconds. He went and slid onto the counter; it was his standard spot whenever they were in the kitchen and it drove Billy crazy.

Billy stood there with his soda and tried not to go crazy. Steve was still looking at him; he had the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows for no reason that Billy could tell. It’s not like Billy’d even gone fuckin’ nuts yet and molested him up on the counter or something. He could hear Henderson in his head lisping away, _it’s called consent, Billy!;_ in his head he told Henderson to shut the fuck up.

Steve stared at him from the countertop; he had his legs spread out and his hands in his lap and like usual he looked cute as shit. “Uh, are you okay?” he asked.

Jesus Christ he was supposed to be cooler than this. Billy put his soda down on the counter. “I think so,” he said.

“Okay,” Steve said. He still had the wrinkle-frown on but he kinda had his Billy-is-amusing face on now too; Billy didn’t know how he was being amusing. He was being a huge fucking dumbass. Steve said, “Uh, why don’t you come over here?”

Holy shit. Billy went over there. He got right between Steve’s legs and then thought maybe that wasn’t what he’d meant. He looked at Steve; he was pretty sure that was what he’d meant.

Steve was smiling at him. Holy shit. “Right here?” Billy said.

“Uh, yeah, that’s good,” Steve said. One eyebrow was going up; Jesus God he was so hot. He was sitting hunched over a little and he was still a couple inches taller what with bein' the counter. He was looking right at Billy. “So I don’t smell like a beer anymore,” he said.

“Doesn’t bother me any,” Billy said; Steve laughed. He looked Billy up and down. Holy shit.

Steve said, “So, uh, what you tryin’ to do here?”

“What you want?” Billy asked right away; Steve laughed again even though Billy hadn't been kidding.

Steve was just looking at him. Billy felt a little helpless; he’d never felt like this before. He was also pretty sure they were about to kiss. He could feel the fuckin’ air charging up around them. He tried to get ready for it.

He was still trying to tell himself to calm the fuck down and that nothing was gonna happen when he leaned in and went for it. He was losing his mind again. Steve was apparently losing his mind as well because he leaned in too; their teeth didn’t click together this time. Steve grabbed the lapels of his jacket so Billy went crazy. He grabbed Steve and slammed him into the cabinet; they broke apart for a moment.

Steve’s head rocked against the door of the cabinet with a _thud!_ ; a couple plates shook inside. “Fuck – _ow!_ ” he said.

“Shit, sorry,” Billy said. He leaned up and put his hand in Steve’s amazing hair and kissed the side of his mouth; he’d been wantin’ to do that. “Sorry.”

“Shut up,” Steve told him; he was laughing. “You’re so fuckin’ short.” He grabbed Billy by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in before Billy could manage to make a comment.

“The fuck I —“ Billy said anyway; Steve leaned in and kissed him again with his mouth open. Billy stopped talkin’ and closed his eyes. Steve's mouth was so hot and he didn’t taste like blood anymore either. Billy slammed him into the cabinet again. His mind was gibbering out _oh god oh god oh god._

Steve was still laughing. He had his hands twisted in Billy’s jacket and his shirt. “Oh my god, can you be nice to me for two fuckin’ minutes?” he asked. He could barely get the words out because Billy kept kissing him.

“Yeah, sorry,” Billy said. He could be so nice; probably he could be nice for at least five.

He slid his hand out of Steve’s hair and touched the collar of his shirt. He leaned in and kissed Steve again; he was trying not to go too fast even though his head was spinning like crazy again. He traced Steve’s bottom lip with his tongue and then flicked it into his mouth; Steve fuckin’ groaned and yanked Billy closer by the collar of his shirt. Jesus fuck. Billy slammed his hand down on the counter so he wouldn’t fall over; he knocked his soda over and everything.

Steve started laughing at him again; he was still kissing him though. Holy shit his mouth was so hot. Steve’s glasses pressed against the side of his face; Billy didn’t mind. He kissed Steve and kissed him; felt like he was gonna die.

He twisted his hands in Steve’s work shirt. He wondered what kinda tie Harrington’d been wearing earlier; Jesus he was gonna get hard in two seconds thinking about him in the tie and the amazing glasses. Yep that was happening now.

Steve put his hand on the back of Billy’s neck. He kept trying to pull him closer; Billy couldn’t get any closer without climbing up on the fucking counter too. He could feel Steve’s breath hitching in his throat. He was so much broader than a girl and their chests knocked together; it was so much better.

Billy tried to calm himself down; he didn't know if he'd get to do this again. He didn’t think he was ever gonna be calm with Steve’s tongue in his mouth but he could try. He’d said he’d be nice.

He put his hand on Steve’s shirt collar again; somehow a couple of the top buttons on his shirt had come undone. He moved his hand onto Steve’s neck and trailed it down his collar bone. Jesus his skin was so soft and Billy wanted to touch him. He stroked his thumb down the three amazing freckles on the side of Steve’s neck. He could feel his pulsepoint; it was fluttering away like a bird’s wings. Steve was breathing and sighing and biting Billy’s lip; Billy was gonna rip all those buttons off in another minute.

He dropped his hands and grabbed at Steve’s belt; he dragged him forward on the counter towards himself. Jesus there was really nowhere to drag him. They were so close.

There was still too much stuff in the way; Billy wondered why he’d worn his jacket. Why'd anyone wear any clothes ever really. Steve had his hands on Billy’s shoulders and then he grabbed his back and then he put both hands in Billy’s hair. Billy was kissing him like he was gonna die. He couldn’t stop; would like to die like this.

He was still gripping Steve’s belt; he let go of it and ran his hands up Steve’s stomach. Then he ran his hands down over Steve’s legs. He ran his hand over Steve’s left thigh and over his huge fucking hard-on.

Billy thanked God for khaki pants; you could fucking feel everything through them. He was dimly aware that he was feelin’ Steve’s prick and he had no idea if it was okay to do that; Steve wasn’t pushing him away though. In fact he was trying to pull him closer and now he was making his crazy sounds in Billy’s mouth again. Holy fucking shit.

Billy put his hand back in Steve’s hair; his other hand was still on Steve’s pants and on his huge amazing dick. He couldn't believe he’d got him hard. He pressed his palm down against him; he could feel Steve’s cock twitch against his hand and he about lost his fucking mind. Steve said, “Oh fuck,” in a choked voice so Billy kept touching him. Holy shit. He kept Steve held against the counter with his hand in Steve’s hair and his palm against his prick. It was so good; he couldn’t stop kissing him.

He wondered if he could get Steve off this way. If he could just touch him a little more. Fuck he couldn't stop touching him, really. He’d be so nice; he was thinkin' about it, all the things he could do. He traced over the thick line of Steve's cock with two fingers; holy shit he was so hard. Billy couldn't believe he'd got him so hard. It didn't seem possible. He bit at Steve's bottom lip a little too roughly; he couldn't stop himself. He ran his thumb over the head of Steve's cock real slow.

Steve was sighing and groaning into his mouth; he was makin' all kinds of sounds. Billy couldn't really believe this was happening and he wasn't sure of what to do. Never been with a guy before, never really thought he _would_ be with a guy. Then again he _was_ a guy; he knew what felt good and what felt fucking amazing. He kept his hands on Steve's cock; Steve fucking shuddered when Billy pressed his thumb against the tip of it again.

Steve had one hand curled under Billy's jaw. He had his other hand on the back of Billy's neck, fingers threaded tight in his hair; it kinda hurt a little but Billy didn't mind that. Sometimes shit was better that way. Steve was so close to him on the counter; he was practically straddling him. Each time Billy'd touch his dick a certain way Steve's whole body would fuckin’ shake and he'd roll his hips toward Billy. They'd gotten so close and Steve reached out and hooked one of his legs around Billy's waist. He pressed his ankle into the small of Billy's back and fucking thrust up against him.

“Ah, god,” Billy managed. His mind was spiraling somewhere around the kitchen; he kept tryin' to touch Steve in the way that'd make him push against him again. Steve was a little taller than him on the counter; the only fucking thing Billy's cock was rubbing against was the goddamn silverware drawer.

He wondered if he could pick Steve up and throw him on the table. Wondered if they could make it to the table; Steve was pretty fuckin' heavy.

Steve was kissing the side of Billy's mouth real sloppy; he trailed his lips over Billy's jawline and then he just fucking bit at his neck, right under his pulsepoint. “FUCK,” Billy said. He tightened his hand in Steve's hair too and yanked his head back a little; somehow he found Steve's mouth again. “You're so fuckin' hot, man,” he mumbled into his mouth; he drew Steve's bottom lip in between his teeth.

“Uhhhh,” Steve said because he was the fucking sexiest and most articulate person Billy'd ever met. Fuck he was so hot. He breathed out a kinda laugh like Billy being funny; Billy wasn’t bein’ funny. He thrust his hips against Billy again when Billy touched his cock in that way he liked; oh god Billy was gonna lose his last two brain cells in about two seconds. Steve said, “Uhhh, god I – “

“Yeah?” Billy said. He moved his hand up and hooked two fingers under Steve's belt buckle. He could do it, could take it out. Wanted to touch him, fuckin' wanted to see him, too. He'd seen Steve naked before; they'd had gym class together for about half a year. Jesus Christ Billy didn't know how he hadn't realized he'd been fuckin' looking at Harrington the whole time; okay probably he'd realized. He knew what Steve's cock looked like already.

He hadn't seen him hard yet though. Wanted to touch him so bad; his own cock was fuckin’ aching at the thought of it.

He didn't know if he should touch him. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing; he didn't know if he should touch him. Should probably just feel fuckin' grateful he'd gotten some kisses and a bite on the neck or somethin'. There was still that voice in the back of his head going _oh god oh god oh god;_ he didn't know what kinda voice Steve had in his head or what it was fuckin' saying.

God he didn't want to ruin this. He was thinking about Steve in his pool again; he was thinking of Steve with his big eyes and Steve holdin’ onto his arm saying _I just never._ Wondered what he was gonna say.

He kept his hand on the belt; he just kissed Steve for another couple seconds. He tried to kiss him real nice. He tightened his hand on the belt buckle; he was losing his mind. Steve didn't push him away though. He just fucking moaned and thrust his hips up against him again.

Billy lost track of the voice in his head. He took his other hand out of Steve's hair and started undoing the belt.

“Uhhh fuck,” Steve said against his mouth.

“Yeah?” Billy said again. He didn't know what he'd do if Steve didn't say yeah.

“Yeah, I,” Steve said; he sounded a little breathless. “Oh fuck.”

Oh fuck. Okay. Billy got the belt undone. He leaned in and kissed Steve again; this time Steve was the one biting his lip. Billy ran his hands back over Steve's thighs again; he put his hand back on his prick. Oh fuck. He slid one hand back up a little and touched the button on Steve's pants. He pushed the belt out of the way. Steve's whole body shuddered again; he said, “Bill.” He wasn’t stopping him.

Billy kept kissing him. He put his hand under Harrington’s shirt and stroked his way down his stomach. He started workin’ at the button on his khakis; he was just gonna do it. Steve went crazy kissing him; Billy moaned into his mouth. He was –

Someone was knocking on the front door; it took a couple minutes to notice it from way up where Billy was on cloud nine. The knocking got louder and then someone was yelling “STEVE? STEVE?”

Billy’s eyes popped open; Steve’s tongue froze in his mouth. With great regret Billy pulled back about an inch. “Who the fuck is that?” His hand was still on Steve’s cock; his hand was still holding the end of his belt.

Steve’s face was totally blank; he tilted his head to the side a little and looked over Billy’s shoulder like a crazed owl. “Oh my fucking god,” he whispered. Billy’s hand was still on his cock; it twitched against his palm again. “No, this isn’t happening right now.”

“STEVE ARE YOU HOME?” yelled the person out front; sounded like a creepy kid which Billy figured was about right.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again.

“Uh. S’that Henderson?” Billy asked. His own hard-on was rapidly dying at even the mere thought of Dustin. He finally moved his hand away from Steve’s prick.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said a third time. “Oh my god, what the fuck. I – I – why – okay, no, no, maybe he’ll go away.” He grabbed Billy again.

Billy started laughing; he wasn’t going to not kiss Steve if Steve wanted him though. He put his hand back in Steve’s hair and leaned in again. Jesus fuck Harrington was an amazing kisser; Billy was pretty sure he was making some sounds of his own. He'd been getting so worked up he almost didn't realize how good it was. He put his other hand up against Steve's hip and kissed him and kissed him. Mouth was actually getting kinda sore but that didn't matter.

The kitchen window about ten feet away started rattling; Billy was pretty sure it was only by the grace of God that Harrington was the only fuckin’ person he knew who actually had curtains up in his kitchen. “STEVE, I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE!” Henderson yapped. “I SEE YOUR CAR OUT FRONT, ARE YOU AVOIDING ME? YOU SAID I COULD USE YOUR POOL, IS BILLY HERE WITH YOU?”

“Oooooh my god,” Steve said; he grabbed Billy’s wrist and finally slid off of the counter. “What the fuck, why is this happening right now?”

“Did you tell him he could use your pool?” Billy asked. He watched Steve do up his belt and adjust his dick in his pants; holy god he was gonna remember that later.

Steve stared at Billy staring at him; he seemed at a loss for words for a moment. “No I, I didn’t fucking tell him – “

Henderson’s huge grinning moon-face appeared at the back door; he waved at them. “STEVE!” he said. “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME KNOCKING?”

“Oh my fucking god!” Steve yelped like a crazed chihuahua; Billy was about to start laughing even though Henderson was ruining his fucking life.

Steve stalked across the room and threw the back door open. “What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

Henderson pushed his way right past Steve and into the house; Steve made another angry animal sound. “You said I could use your pool last week, I am here to do my swimming laps. Hi Billy!” He stared at the root beer exploded on the kitchen floor, then he stared at Steve. “Uh, what happened to you guys? What’s wrong with your shirt?”

Steve’s eyes almost bugged out of his head; he looked down at himself. His work shirt was all wrinkled and the top two buttons were undone. Billy bit his lip; he’d gotten Harrington all fucked up. “Uh, I … ”

“Wow, you both look really screwed up, are you guys fighting again?” Henderson crossed his arms like the littlest den dad. “Billy, did you start something with him again?”

“Uh, he always starts something with me,” Steve said. It was so typical of Harrington to throw him under the fuckin’ bus.

“What did he do?” Henderson demanded like Billy wasn’t even in the goddamn room. “Steve! Did Billy call you bullshit again, he does not understand the meaning behind that phrase! You need to calm down, you seriously need to stop comparing him to Nancy, it’s getting really weird.”

“Yeah, it’s getting really weird, man,” Billy said. He was leaning on the counter now.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said in a hopeless way. “Why, why, why are you here?”

“You said I could come over last week!” Henderson yapped. “Why’d you hang up on me last night, I called you like three times.”

“What? I never said that!” Steve said like a crazy person.

“Yes you did, you said I could come over Monday night, it’s Monday night!”

“Okay, well, it’s not fucking night time yet!”

“Uh, yes it is, it’s after five!”

“What?” Billy and Steve both said; that wasn’t possible.

Henderson looked really amused. “I guess you guys were really going at it,” he said.

“Hahahahahaha,” Billy said. Steve said, “Oh, my god.”

“What are you fighting about?”

“We’re not _fighting,_ ” Steve said; he sounded really annoyed.

“I was just pissin’ him off,” Billy said. He pushed himself up off the counter. His head was still spinning; he didn’t want to go but Henderson was really fucking up the mood and all. “I gotta go to work.”

He started past Steve and Henderson; he pushed against Steve’s shoulder as he went out the door. “Stop fighting with me, asshole,” he said.

“Uh, I,” Steve said. “Okay, call me later.”

“Yeah, I’ll call you.”

“Guys, should we talk this out?” Henderson said.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, DUSTIN!” Steve said.

Billy went to work.

 

* * *

 

Billy went to work; it was about the longest night of his life. Hank was there late working too much like usual and he was gabbing away too much like usual too. He told Billy he could bring in Susan's Explorer any time. He laughed at Billy dropping eighty tools all over the counter.

“You thinkin' about some girl, Bill?” Hank asked him; he looked real amused. He was huffing and puffing over the engine of the Ford truck. “Was you out on a date? Hair's all messed up.”

“Yeah, I wasn't out with some girl,” Billy said. He kept thinking about Steve's amazing dick in his fuckin’ work pants. God he’d kissed Steve and gotten him fucking turned on and had touched his cock; he dropped the wrench he’d been holding again. His fucking balls hurt; he’d been so hard earlier and he needed to go home and jack off like three times until he finally fuckin’ died.

Hank still looked real amused like Billy was being funny; he didn't ask him any more about girls though. “Your old man still outta the house?”

That was another thing Billy didn't feel like talking about, especially when he was busy thinking about Steve's prick. “He'll be back.” Felt like he was talkin' about the fucking Terminator or some shit.

“Uh-yuh, they always come back,” Hank said. He was struggling to his feet; it took him a while. “You gotta keep him away from kid sis,” Hank said.

Billy wondered what all he knew about it. Max and her fuckin' mouth. “He's not that bad all the time,” he said; it was only three-quarters of a lie. He didn't know why everyone thought Maxine was his goddamn responsibility.

Turns out apparently Maxine was his goddamn responsibility. He got through another day of school and he dragged himself to basketball practice. Actually he was feeling pretty good; he wasn’t draggin’ nothing. He was still out there on cloud nine: was pretty nice up there. Steve Harrington sat on his countertop and fuckin' made out with you when you was on cloud nine.

Billy got so happy thinking about it that he knocked over five guys at practice; the coach was screaming and threatening to bench him at this weekend's game. Billy wished the coach'd bench him. They’d lose the damn game and he'd go right the fuck to Steve's and kiss him and touch his dick some more. HAHA. He loved it here in Hawkins, was the best place in the world.

He got home a little before five o'clock. He didn't have work and he was already thinking about Steve; really he'd been thinkin' about him all day. Maybe he'd want to do something again; he probably knew what Billy wanted to do. God Billy was gonna go crazy thinking about Steve’s amazing dick and if he was gonna get to see it.

He figured Steve'd be home around six. Maybe he could call him up; maybe he should just go over there. He was wonderin' what kinda work shirt Steve would be wearing as he unlocked the door and went into his house.

Max was sitting alone on the couch with the TV on mute. Her face was all splotchy and her arms were folded across her chest; Billy stopped thinking about the work shirt and the amazing dick that maybe awaited him.

He stared at her as he took his jacket off. “Hey, what’s wrong with your face?”

Max ignored him. She glared the TV.

“What you doin' here?” he tried again; he had no clue why he did that. Usually she’d be at practice waitin’ for him.

Max glared her head off at him. “WHAT DO YOU CARE?” she hollered.

Billy felt true slight terror looking at her; Jesus Christ he already fuckin' knew the night wasn't gonna go like he wanted. “I  _don't_  care,” he told her.

Max burst into tears; Billy leaned against the doorway and stared at her in more and more mounting fear. “Why – why you doin' that?” he asked her in true slight terror.

“LEAVE ME ALONE,” Max yelled.

“What happened?” Jesus he had no fucking clue why he'd asked that. He should have booked it for the shower. He should have known better: in over four fuckin' years he and Maxine'd never left each other alone.

Max sniffed and hiccuped; she sure was makin' a real production. “MOM FINALLY CALLED LUCAS'S PARENTS TO APOLOGIZE TODAY AND IT TURNED INTO THIS HUGE THING,” she yelled her fuckin' head off. “THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT NEIL, AND MOM SAID THEY YELLED AT EACH OTHER FOR  _TEN_ MINUTES! THEN MOM TOLD THEM WE WERE KISSING IN MY ROOM AND NOW I'M ON PUNISHMENT AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SEE LUCAS  _AT ALL._ ”

Billy knew Susan'd get around to getting at Max for screwing around with Sinclair, it'd just take her some time. She didn't like not letting Max and him do what they wanted.

“Okay, calm down,” he told her.

“I AM CALM, YOU STUPID DIRTBAG!” screamed Max, the least calm person ever. Jesus she didn't need to fuckin' go at him. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

If only. Billy tried his hardest to ignore the dirtbag comment. “So how long you grounded for?”

“I'M NOT GROUNDED, I JUST CAN'T SEE LUCAS!” Max said; her volume button was broken at ten. “MOM PULLED ME OUT OF SEVENTH PERIOD TO YELL AT ME, SHE IS SO MAD! THE SINCLAIRS SAID I'M A BAD INFLUENCE!”

“You are a bad influence,” Billy told her; Max scowled her head off and regenerated a new one.

“I KNEW YOU'D BE A HUGE ASSHOLE ABOUT THIS, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!” Billy counted to ten so's he wouldn't go off on her; Max started yelling some more before he even got to six. “I can't do ANYTHING if I CAN'T SEE LUCAS, he is like MY ONLY FRIEND HERE!”

“Okay, you have other friends.”

“NO, I DON'T!” Max yelled. Truly she was at a fuckin’ level nine in her womanly hysteria; Billy could hear sirens going off in his own head. “HOW CAN I HANG OUT WITH ANYONE IF I CAN'T BE WITH LUCAS, I BET MIKE IS SO HAPPY!”

Probably he was; Wheeler Jr was a piece of work and Billy'd never understand him, not that he wanted to. “Okay, look,” he said. Max was still cryin' and it was making him feel real scared. He wondered for a second if she was fuckin' playing him like she had been on his birthday. He said, “Okay, look,” again and then realized he had no goddamn clue what to say to her.

“I DON'T HAVE ANYONE, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM AT ALL!” Max yelled her head off. “HIS PARENTS ARE PROBABLY PUTTING OUT A _RESTRAINING_ _ORDER_  ON ME RIGHT NOW! THE ONLY OTHER FRIEND I HAVE HERE IS BEVERLY, AND ALL SHE EVER TALKS ABOUT IS HOW SHE TOUCHED RYAN PEARSON'S DICK FOR TWO MINUTES LAST MONTH!”

“Je-sus  _Christ_ , Max,” Billy said; he was going deaf and dumb and blind again.

“THIS IS WHAT NEIL WANTED! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, TOO, NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH ME ANYMORE!”

Billy still didn't know why the fuck she was coming for him. “Okay, I don't gotta problem with Sinclair – “

“ _Yes,_ you do!” Max yelled at him. Her womanly hysteria had somehow wound down to about a seven; probably she was gettin’ tired. “Just leave me here TO DIE, you can go hang out with Steve and El all the time like you want now! You like them so much better than me!”

That was debatable, Billy didn't say. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “No I don't, the fuck you talkin' about?”

“YES YOU DO!” Max hollered. The hysteria cranked back up to a nine. Billy guessed she was getting her second wind; he lamented his life. “YES YOU DO, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS STEVE, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS EL! YOU LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN ME!”

“The fuck I do,” Billy said. Jesus he'd never understand any goddamn woman; he didn't know why the hell she was talkin' about Jane right now.

“Yes you do!” Max said again. She was sniffling and snotting all over herself like she'd gotten beat on or something. “You met her like six times and you like her WAY BETTER than me! It's not fair! Everyone thinks she's SO AMAZING! You treat her so different than me!”

“Uh, yeah, because she's different than you,” Billy said. El wasn't his annoying goddamn sister; also she could move shit with her mind and fix radios. “You sound like a fuckin' eight-year-old right now.”

“You've known me for  _four years_  and you like her so much better, it's not fair!” Max went on sobbing in her womanly hysteria. “YOU BOUGHT HER A BOOK, ALL YOU DO IS SCREAM AT ME!”

“I'VE NEVER SCREAMED AT YOU IN MY LIFE!” Billy screamed at her.

“You let her hang out at your work!” Max yapped like she hadn't hung around the shop all December and January tellin' Hank Billy's whole goddamn life story four times. “YOU BOUGHT HER FRENCH FRIES! EVERYONE LIKES HER MORE THAN ME AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN _TALK!_ ”

Jesus God. “Yeah, why you think we like her more?” Billy asked. It was definitely the wrong thing to say; Max burst into fresh tears. “Oh my fuckin' GOD, I'M JOKING!”

“NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU LIKE HER MORE THAN ME!”

“Oh my god, you sound like my fuckin' girlfriend!” Billy said; she was really starting to piss him off. “I don't like her more than you, Jesus Christ.”

“YES YOU DO!”

“She's fuckin' different than you!” Billy told her; he didn't really wanna talk about El. He went over to the couch and glared down at her crying. “The fuck you talkin' about I don't like you?”

“YOU DON'T LIKE ME, YOU JUST USE ME TO HANG OUT WITH STEVE!” Max yelled. “YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME, YOU JUST WATCH ME SO NEIL WON'T BEAT YOUR ASS!”

“NEWS FLASH, HE DID BEAT MY ASS!” Billy yelled down at her. “Beat my ass bout a fuckin’ week and a half ago over you, you forget that shit already?” Max just cried and hiccuped at him. “STOP CRYIN'!” he told her; Jesus she was going off. “Talkin' bout I bought some girl french fries, you ain't my fuckin' girlfriend!”

“STOP SCREAMING AT ME!”

“I'M NOT SCREAMING!” Billy told her. “Bought you your fuckin' camera, didn't I?” Max just cried more. “STOP CRYING! I TOOK YOU TO SEE DEF LEPPARD!” Billy yelled like a crazy person.

“BECAUSE TRACEY TOLD YOU TO!”

“NO SHE DIDN'T!”

“YES SHE DID!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Billy collapsed down onto the couch beside her; he put his head in his hands. “Stop crying!” he told her again. “I still bought the fuckin' tickets, didn't I?”

“That doesn't mean anything!”

“Yeah it does, you think I had any fuckin' money?” Billy asked her.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“NO! When I ever leave you alone?” Billy demanded; he was so pissed off. “Jesus, kid, you're gonna give yourself a fuckin' heart attack carrying on like this, stop fuckin' crying!”

“GOOD, JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE! MOM CAN COME HOME AND FIND MY CORPSE! YOU CAN GO HANG OUT WITH EL LIKE YOU WANT!”

“OH MY FUCKIN' GOD!” Billy said. He turned his head and stared at her; Max glared back. “Are you serious, you shithead?”

“ _What?_ ” Max scowled her head off.

“You really think I like her better?” Max made another face and didn't answer him; Jesus she was still fuckin' crying too. “I don't like her better, asshole. Look, you're my sister, I can't like nobody more than you.”

“Yeah, just because our stupid parents got married!” Max said. “You just – “

“No, you're my fuckin' _sister_ , okay?” Billy interrupted her. Max stared at him. “Jesus. Don't just hang out with you when I wanna see Steve.”

“I  _guess_ ,” Max said like a sulky gremlin.

“I don't ask you to bring him over here,” Billy told her. “Didn't ask you to make a fuckin' tape for us.”

“Uh, you need my help!” Max yapped.

“Okay, whatever,” Billy said; he was not gonna get into that with her right now. “What about all that shit I told you? Nobody else knows that shit about me, you think I tell people bout it? Think me'n Henderson talk about fuckin' Tom Cruise?”

“God, I hope not,” Max said; Billy almost laughed.

“Can you stop fuckin' crying?”

“I'm not crying!” Max yapped. She scrubbed at her face with her hands like a snotty princess.

Billy waited a couple minutes til she'd calmed herself down. He told her, “Look, you know the shit with Sinclair ain't gonna stick, okay?”

“Yes it is, Mom is  _really_  mad and Lucas's parents are going to skin him like a raccoon!” Max said. “I'm not even allowed to hang out with him at school now. Not that he'll  _be_  at school because he'll be  _skinned and dead._ ”

Billy was raising his eyebrows and trying not to make a comment; if he said that shit about Sinclair Max'd yell her head off that he was bein' a racist. “They ain't gonna know if you seen him at school.”

“YES THEY WILL, MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING!” Max said. Billy shuddered; he sure as hell hoped Susan didn't know everything. “How am I supposed to do  _anything_  now? I really can't hang out with the guys if Lucas is there too, I'LL JUST DIE HERE!”

She looked like she was getting ready to go off again; Billy put his hand on her shoulder in true slight terror. “Look, don't fuckin' cry – “

“I'M NOT CRYING, I'M JUST SAYING!”

“Okay, okay, stop screamin' at me,” Billy begged her.

“I'M NOT SCR – I'm not screaming!” Max said.

“Look, it's gonna blow over, if you really wanna see the kid you'll find a way to see 'im,” Billy told her. “Ain't you done that already?”

Max gave him a kinda guilty look; she knew what he was talking about. “I, I guess.” She wiped her face again and huffed away for a couple minutes more. Then: “Thanks Billy,” she said.

“What?” Billy said; he wasn't looking at her.

Max wiped her eyes again and sniffled some more. “So what – so what are you doing now?” she asked in a small voice.

Billy rolled his head back on the couch to look at the clock behind them. Jesus Christ it was after six; somehow she'd been screaming and crying at him for nearly an hour. “Oh shit,” he said.

“Are you going out?”

“Was gonna.”

“Oh, okay,” Max said still in her small little voice; Billy lamented his life.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. He didn't know why he was doing this. “Look, okay, you wanna – you wanna go see a movie or whatever?”

“Really?” Max stared at him. “Are you going with Steve or something?”

“No I ain't going with Steve,” Billy snapped. God he didn't know why he was doing this. He still wanted to go and see Harrington more. Fuck he really wanted to see Harrington; been thinking about him all day. Max's goddamn face was still all red though. “He don't have to come.”

“Really? So … can it be just me and you?”

Billy tried not to sigh. “Yeah, just me and you.”

“OKAY, COOL!” Max flung her arms around him; Billy almost threw up on himself in horror. She really didn't need to do that shit. Then she leaned away and wrinkled her nose up. She was still crying a little. “You really smell, you should take a shower before we go out.”

“Stop bein' so fuckin' nice to me, you're gonna make me have an emotion,” Billy told her.

 

Max ran off to get ready and Billy went and took a shower. Once he was done he took the phone into his room again and stood there staring at it like a huge girl; apparently that was becoming a common thing for him.

He didn't know if he should call Harrington or not. He didn't know what the fuckin' protocol was for when you was a guy and you'd made out with your very male friend twice now and touched his dick a lot; oh god now he was thinking about Steve’s dick again. He tried to calm himself down.

Shouldn't be a big deal. He looked at the phone; he didn't need to make it a big deal. He tried to think whether or not he'd have called Harrington before all this shit happened just to tell him he wouldn't be around for a night. Probably he wouldn't have called him.

He called him anyway; he was such a fuckin' girl.

No one answered at Steve's anyhow, saving him from talking on for ten years or saying some awkward bullshit. It was only a quarter after six. Steve probably wasn't home yet; even so Billy didn't leave a message. Wasn't like he was Harrington's fucking boyfriend. Steve didn't need to know what he was doing all the time.

Maybe he didn't want to know anyway. Billy liked him too much; he was already pushing heaps of shit on Steve, fuckin' feelings and shit. Probably he just wanted to hook up or something, if he even still wanted to do that. He didn't need to know what the fuck Billy was doing all the goddamn time; he wasn't a goddamn girlfriend like Tracey or Nancy or something.

Okay. Billy took the phone back out to the living room and got himself under control.

Max was back out in the living room in a new sweatshirt with her eyes all red still. She was giving him a big weird look. “Did you call Steve?” she asked.

“No,” lied Billy.

“You can bring him if you want.” Max looked like the saddest little gremlin.

Billy was putting his jacket on. “S'okay,” he said. “You ready to go or what?”

“Yeah, I have like eight dollars, I can pay for your movie if you want!” At least he was getting something out of the night.

They'd already seen all four of the films playing at the Hawk so they just drove around for a while. There was some big mall out in Columbus they hadn't been to yet so they decided to go there after only about ten minutes of arguing. It took a while to find it and Max declared that Billy'd almost ended their lives four times driving there. She was such a fucking piece of work; he wasn't that bad.

Outside the mall at the ticket booth Max bounced around like a little kid. The big overhead light was shining on her hair and her red sweatshirt; she looked again like her little ten-year-old self all excited and Billy was kinda getting a kick out of her.

“Holy shit, they are actually playing  _Evil Dead_ , we  _have_  to see it,” Max yapped. “Wow, I'm sorry, we probably really should have brought Steve, he'd be  _so_  scared.”

Billy laughed; Max looked all pleased with herself. “You kidding me? I actually want to see this shit, he never shuts the fuck up.” Max laughed too.

They got their movie tickets.  _Evil Dead_  didn't start til a quarter past eight so they fucked around and wandered about the mall for a little; Max was cracking his shit up.

In the music store she got herself an Iron Maiden tape; Billy was pretty sure it was just to piss her moms off and he couldn't say he disapproved. He bought himself the first Megadeth tape – “Nice choice,” Maxine said all snooty.

Billy licked his lips and managed not to make a comment; without him she'd be bopping away listening to fuckin' Human League with Henderson.

They ate some pizza and made fun of the people walkin' by; it was a Tuesday night so's it was a lot of older ladies for some reason. Max kept saying the stupidest shit about them and Billy was still getting a kick out of her.

A couple in probably their late thirties passed by them arguing; Max gestured at them with her pizza. “She's pissed off because she knows he's sleeping with the pool boy, she just found his swim trunks behind their bed,” she said.

The couple snipped away at each other for a couple minutes; the woman was gesturing with her shopping bags. She turned away to look into a display window and the guy made a huge face at her back.

“Yeah, he's thinkin' about the pool boy right now,” Billy said; Max cackled into her soda like a witch.

“Oh! Joe!” she said in a moony voice. Billy laughed real loud. “That's the pool boy, he's twenty-five.”

The movie was basically a reboot of the first one which Billy hadn't been expecting. It was still a good time though. Max was right; Steve'd be scared out of his goddamn mind.

It was way past eleven (Eleven! Billy still thought in his head like a big goon; he couldn't help it) by the time they got home. All the lights were on in the house and they sat in his car for a moment, looking through the windshield in true slight terror for a moment. Susan didn't go off too much but when she went off she went the fuck off.

They went on inside; Susan was sitting and waiting for them on the couch tapping her foot all imperious-like. Max scowled her head off and started towards her room and Susan jumped up and followed her. “Where  _were_  you?” she demanded, stalking after Max down their little hallway.

“You ain't care where I was, Sue?” Billy asked dramatically; Susan ignored him.

“YOU  _DIDN'T_  SAY I WAS GROUNDED, I WAS OUT WITH BILLY!” Max yelled her head off in two seconds.

“Is she telling the truth?” Susan asked him.

“Yeah, took her to see a movie.”

“AT LEAST SOMEONE IN THIS HOUSE CARES ABOUT ME, WHO'D THINK IT'D BE MY TRASHMOUTH BROTHER!” Max yelled her head off some more.

“Okay, why you gonna come for me right now?” Billy asked her; he'd just bought her fuckin' pizza. He guessed that wasn't as good as french fries.

“Max, you know that isn't true!” Susan said.

“You never stick up for me!”

“Yes I do!”

“No you don't!”

Jesus they were making him tired; there was too many women in the house. “I'm goin' to bed,” Billy said. No one even answered him; he rolled his eyes and pushed past them. He went into his room and thought about Steve's dick some more. Max and Susan yelled for a while.

 

* * *

 

Wednesday after school he had basketball practice like usual; Maxine sat on the bleachers with her head in her hands all depressed with Beverly sitting next to her yapping on and on. Once practice ended they went home and Max helped him get Susan's Explorer started again.

She stood there in the driveway lookin' like the saddest gremlin as he backed it up and started driving down to the shop; he almost fuckin' doubled around and went back for her.

Jesus Christ he was turning into such a bleeding heart. He rolled his eyes at himself in the rearview mirror. Kid could stand to be alone for an afternoon or two.

It was after five when Billy got to the garage; all the lights were still on in the front. He figured Hank must be working late again and sighed in his head for a million years. He drove the Explorer down the back alley to the garage wonderin' what kinda bullshit Hank was gonna want to talk on about now.

He walked slowly back to the front to kill a couple minutes; when he opened up the door to the shop no one was there but Hank laying on the floor on his face like a dead fish.

“OH SHIT, MAN!” Billy yelled and dropped his keys; he was already seeing the cops and the coroner's report and Miles screamin' and cryin' into a handkerchief.

“Hey Bill,” said Hank from the floor.

“Jesus fuck,” Billy said in relief. He'd actually been real scared. He went across the shop and knelt down next to Hank. “What the fuck happened, did you have a heart attack, you fat fuck? You paralyzed?”

“Spare me the jokes, please.” Hank huffed and puffed. “My goddamn back gave out again, I been layin' here since three forty-five.”

“It ain't a joke, you fuckin' eat too much,” Billy told him. “Ain't nobody come in here for two hours?”

“When's anybody come in when you need somethin'?” Hank asked; Billy guessed that was about right. “Can you help me up?”

“Uh, maybe,” Billy said doubtfully. He grabbed Hank's shoulder and somehow got him leaned up against the counter; Hank wobbled like a bowling pin. His face was all red like he was real hurt; Billy felt bad. Also: “Don't fucking fall on me, I'll die,” Billy told him in true terror.

Hank ignored Billy being an asshole; apparently he was good for that too. He wiped his brow off. “Thanks, kid.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Billy said. He put his hands in his pockets. “Can you fuckin' move at all?”

“I'm good right here,” Hank said staunchly; Billy sighed.

“You need me to help you get home or something?”

“You don't need to do that, kid,” Hank said. “Can call my brother or something.”

“Uh, ain't he live like an hour away?”

Hank wiped his brow off again. “'Bout forty-five minutes, he's probably at a goddamn dance club right now.”

“Don't tell me that shit,” Billy begged him; Hank laughed his ass off.

“He don't do that shit anymore, Bill, he got a real nice boyfriend. Been together since '81, a Latino.”

“Don't tell me that either, Jesus,” Billy said.

“They's goin' on a cruise in the spring, show you all the pictures.”

“I guess you want me to fuckin' leave you here,” Billy said thoughtfully; Hank laughed his ass off again.

“Okay, you wanna see my shithole apartment?” Hank said.

It took about ten years to get Hank out of the shop, then it took ten more years getting him to his truck. Billy thought about trying to squeeze Hank into his Camaro and somehow managed not to laugh hysterically; as it was he practically had to boost Hank into his fuckin' truck like a baby.

Billy went around to the driver's side. “Where's your keys?” he asked.

Hank's face was all red again like he was real hurt. “Think they're on the floor of the shop,” he said.

“Je-sus Christ,” Billy said; Hank laughed at him.

Billy went back and found the keys; he'd actually left the keys to the Explorer on the floor too from when he'd dropped them thinkin' Hank was fucking dead. He put Susan's keys away and locked up the front, then he went to drive Hank home.

Hank lived way way down on Main Street, past all the big shops and the arcade and the water company. There was just two apartment complexes on either side of the street, the woods beyond them, and the big state road that'd take you down past Henderson's house.

Hank's apartment wasn't really a shithole; it _was_ way up on the third floor so's it was a real fun time getting up there. Hank fell over onto the couch like a dead fish right away and Billy stood in the little dark living room looking around. It was real crowded in here; Hank had a lot of furniture and kitschy stuff, wasn't what you'd expect.

Billy tapped at a lamp and turned it on. “What you gonna do tomorrow, you gonna close up the shop?”

“Hell no, I ain't closed on a Thursday since the Steelers won the Superbowl back in '79,” Hank said.

“Yeah, you should probably go to the doctor or somethin', man.”

“I also ain't been to the doctor since the Steelers won back in '79,” Hank told him; Billy sighed. Hank laughed his ass off again. Billy didn't see why Hank thought he was being so fuckin' funny tonight. “You're a good kid, Bill, I'll be fine. I'll get my brother over here to help me squeeze into my fuckin' back brace, I won't do that to you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Billy said.

He looked around; he didn't really know what to do now. He felt kinda bad and shit: he didn't want to just fuck off and leave Hank. He looked at some of the porcelain statues up over on top of the TV. One of 'em was a pink pig on a cloud with wings; it looked demonic. Billy picked it up and looked at it.

“You see that fuckin' thing?” Hank asked him from where he was crashed out on the couch. “Ain't she creepy? Was Julia's favorite thing for years and years.”

Billy didn't know who Julia was. “That your wife?”

“Nah, my daughter.”

“I ain't know you had a daughter.”

“She don't live around here anymore, she moved out to the city after college. She's real artsy like you, she was always reading her books.” Billy didn't say anything so Hank went on. “I went and sold the house after my old lady died, I couldn't stay there anymore. Don't think the kid ever really forgave me.”

“You had a house before?” All the furniture made sense now.

“Uh-yuh, we lived out on Springfield near the park. Think I sold it back in, uh, '76 or '77. Was real rough on Julie, I shouldn'ta done it. Think she was sixteen or seventeen. She missed her moms a lot, they always got along better than me and her.”

Billy stared at the demon pig on its cloud. “Yeah, it's hard,” he said finally.

Hank was staring at him. “Where's your mom at, Bill? You ain't never say nothing about her.”

Billy put the statue down; he didn't really want to talk about this. Couldn't believe he hadn't said anything to Hank about his mom in a whole year of workin' with him. “Uh, she's dead too,” he said. Felt weird to say it to him. “She had cancer, too.”

Hank stared at him some more. “I didn't know that,” he said after a couple seconds. Billy didn’t say anything. “How old were you?”

“Uh, thirteen.”

“Jesus Christ, you were only a fuckin' baby,” Hank said. He looked all sad and shit; he didn't need to look like that. “I'm sorry, kid.”

“I'm fine,” Billy said; he wasn't fuckin' dead.

“Bet you miss her. Jesus. I'm sorry, Bill.”

“I'm fine,” Billy said again. Neither of them said anything for a while; Billy was trying to figure out a way to say he should go.

“Kid, you wanna stay and watch the hockey game with me?” Hank asked him.

Billy felt surprised. “Uh, no, I should – “ he stopped and thought about it. He looked at Hank all crashed out on his couch surrounded by his dead wife's furniture. The room was all dark aside from the one little lamp over on an end table; was about as bleak as Billy fuckin' felt sometimes. “Guess I can stay for a while,” he said.

 

He was at Hank's until past ten; they were pretty sure the Philadelphia Flyers were going for the Stanley Cup in May. Hank yapped his head off when Billy was leavin', telling him to be careful walking home. “I know you're a big tough guy from Cali, we got coyotes out here too though,” Hank told him.

Billy felt like laughing; he was pretty sure they had way more than fuckin' coyotes here in Hawkins. “I'll be okay.”

“Can take my truck if you want.”

“Yeah, I'm good, man.”

It took him a long time to get home, about an hour. He didn't mind; it was a nice night out, not too cold. He felt okay even though he'd had to talk about his mom for two seconds.

He stopped for a couple minutes when he got back to the main drag. He smoked a cigarette and leaned against the window of the comic store thinkin' his thoughts. It was all dark down the whole block and that neon sign was still flickering like crazy across the street.

He was thinking about going to Steve's again; didn't know if he should. It was real late now, not that that meant anything. Maybe it meant something now; Billy was pretty sure he had no fuckin' clue what he was doing. He didn't want to show up at Harrington's at close to midnight like a huge giant queer. Problem was that he was a huge giant queer, especially for Steve. He thought again how he didn't want to mess it up. Eventually he just went on home.

Thursday was a lot of the same; he ended up staying real late at the shop, helping Hank out because he couldn't do too much. Hank wobbled about in his back brace; he got the hood of Susan's Explorer up and fucked around with the engine even though Billy kept telling him not to.

“Car's still got a lot of juice in her,” Hank huffed and puffed over the engine. He kept messing with the starter even though Billy'd told him it was good. “I can talk you through the transmission, you wanna do it, Bill? Charge you for the parts, I ain't gonna charge you to put 'em in if you're doin' it.”

“Yeah, we'll buy the parts,” Billy told him. Transmission work wasn't cheap. “Thanks, man.”

Hank huffed and puffed on the floor. “You wanna help me up?” he said.

It was a little after ten when he got back home; Max was sitting around by herself on the couch watching  _The Omega Man_  on the movie channel; she moved over so's Billy could sit down next to her.

“Anybody call for me?” Billy asked her.

Max gave him a weird look. “No, why?”

Billy didn't answer her. “Your mom still out with my dad?”

“I guess so.” Max scowled her head off. “Do you think he'll come back tonight?”

“Dunno,” Billy said. His own mom'd never been able to get Neil out of the house for more than a night, and it'd been her goddamn house really. He didn't feel like thinkin' about that, though. He and Max watched the movie.

They heard Neil's sedan pulling up in the driveway right around quarter past eleven when the movie was ending; Max yelped and scampered off into Billy's room like a little kid. Billy rolled his eyes and followed her. Max pushed his creaky window open a couple inches and they sat on his bed together, listening to Neil and Susan talk for a couple minutes.

Susan came inside by herself and they heard Billy's old man's car drive away; Maxine made a huge fish face and bounced up off his bed. She ran out to go and grill her moms.

After a few more minutes she came and popped her head back into his room; Billy was still sitting on his bed and smoking a cigarette. “Day eleven, no Neil!” she said. She gave him a thumbs up like a little dork. “This is really good, right?”

“Dunno,” Billy said.

He wasn't letting himself get too excited; his old man'd told him he wasn't done with him. His dad never told a lie and he never forgot nothin' either. Might be okay for Max and her mom, though. He smoked a couple cigarettes, thinking about it. He thought about it for a while.

 

* * *

 

 

Friday came and Billy rejoiced; Friday was still Friday even if he hadn't been able to get in touch with Harrington all week. He only knocked over three people at practice and the coach said he could still play tomorrow. Max was sitting on the bleachers lookin' like a sulky princess with just Wills sitting next to her all loyal; once again Billy thought how he'd knew Byers was a goddamn prize.

Billy finished practice and the kids parted ways; Will waved at them and set off down the hall to find his faggy brother. Billy figured he could still call Jonathan a faggot even if he himself was a faggot; there was truly nothin' else to call that douchebag. Okay there was a couple things.

Susan was in the house already when they got in at a little before five. Max bounced on the counter and started yapping away and trying to work her moms over; Billy started poking around at the casserole dish wrapped on the stove. It was a lasagna and it didn't look too burnt; he thought about it and started cutting out a slice.

“William Hargrove, I know you're going to wash your hands before you start eating that!” Susan gasped and went in at him in two seconds.

Billy scowled his head off at her calling him fuckin'  _William_ ; he decided then and there he was never gonna wash his hands again in his life. He took his plate to the table. “Man, I just showered at school!” he whined like a huge baby.

Max kept on yapping and going on with her new plan; Jesus God she was a piece of work. “Okay, Mom, but what if  _Billy_  is hanging out with me and he wants to go see the guys, what if Lucas is there, do I really have to  _leave_ if I'm hanging out with  _Billy?_ ”

Billy snarled; Max ignored him. She looked around with her big bug eyes. “Mom?”

Susan gave Max a big look; said she knew exactly what Max was doing. Maxine made her best lonely puppy-dog face and Susan sighed. She was too soft. “Well, I don't know,” she said; she was waffling already. “You know I certainly can't speak for Lucas's parents.”

Max came and stood behind Billy; she tapped her fingers on his shoulders like a gross gremlin. Billy tried to shrug her off so she leaned forward and tapped him even more. “But speaking for yourself … ?”

Susan sighed again. “Well, if Billy wants to hang out with Lucas Sinclair, I suppose I can't stop him,” she said cautiously.

God help him. Max tapped on his shoulders some more; she was such a horror. Billy sighed. “Ya know me and Sinclair are thick as thieves, Susie, miss him so much,” he said in resignation. He was seeing his fuckin' fate as a chaperon stretched out in front of him.

Max yelped so loud and high that all the dogs went deaf in town. “SO CAN WE GO TO THE ARCADE?” she yapped in his ear.

“Get off me!” Billy begged her; he was eating. “Look, you got til nine o'clock, I have got _shit to do_  tonight.”

“YES YES YES!” Max yelled over Susan gasping at him swearing; she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

Billy gagged. “GET OFFA ME!” he begged her; Max cackled. Then he gagged some more. “Oh my god, is this a whole frickin' tomato in here?”

“I ran out of sauce,” Susan told him. Her brows knitted down in concern. “What, is it that bad?” Billy was too busy choking to answer her. “Oh, my god, okay, Billy.”

Max killed him bitching her head off as he struggled to finish his lasagna; she bitched her head off all the way to his car. “I gotta stop by work and pick up my check,” he told her; he waited for the third round of bitching to start.

“That's okay, I want to see Hank anyway, I have stuff I need to tell him!” Max yapped.

Billy glared at her as he started up the Camaro. “What fuckin' stuff you got to tell him?”

“Mind your business!” Jesus God she was too much.

At the shop Max bounced around the front and she and Hank talked their heads off as Hank got Billy's check out for him; Max was telling Hank all the dirt on her tragic romance with Sinclair.

“No shit, you're goin' around with Lucas Sinclair?” Hank said; he was still wobbling about in his back brace. “I thought you was Mikey Wheeler's girl.”

Max fixed Hank with a look that said her opinion of him was going down the gutter. “MIKE WHEELER?” she yelled at a steady level six. “UH, NOT IF HE WAS THE LAST GUY ON THE PLANET.”

Hank cackled. He gave Billy his check; was about the most money Billy'd ever seen in his life. Billy stared at it for a while and Hank cackled again at his face. “You got paid for the Civic, I think you got me a client for life,” he told Billy. “Sorry I couldn't cut this one for you, Miles said we gotta put it on the books.”

“That's okay,” Billy said; Max reached out like a gremlin and snatched it out of his hand. He watched her eyes turn into huge dollar signs and sighed.

“You better go and cash that shit before your old man sees it,” Hank told him.

“Billy's father is not staying with us right now, he is a HUGE RACIST,” Max yapped her head off telling Hank their business as usual.

“Huh, interestin', that don't surprise me,” Hank said.

“Okay, we don't gotta talk about that.” Billy took his check back from her. Max let it go with minimal struggle.

Billy helped Hank change a pair of rotors (Billy changed them and Hank talked his head off). He helped Hank close up the shop and then off they went to the bank to cash his check; it was a Friday so's they were open til seven. Max rolled her eyes out of her head at Billy flirting with the pretty teller at the window (“You're hopeless!” Max yapped) and then they set off towards the arcade.

Max was counting out tens and twenties right on the street like a goddamn moron. “This is more money than I've ever seen in my life! Do you think Steve will be at the arcade?” she asked. She pulled his wallet out of his fuckin' pocket; Billy swatted at her. “You could be his sugar daddy for like two weeks with this, I bet he has a lavish lifestyle.”

“Stop waving my cash around,” Billy told her; he got all giddy thinkin' about Steve being at the arcade (also being his sugar daddy but that wasn't gonna happen). “I'll give you five fuckin' dollars if you quit your Steve bullshit for one night.”

“Uh, Steve bullshit ceased, until twelve o one AM!” Max declared with a big goony smile. Billy rolled his eyes at her.

Steve wasn't at the arcade but Will and Wheeler and Sinclair were; Billy lamented his life for a moment and went to stand by Will at the Dig Dug machine. Max and Lucas stared at each other across a ping-pong table like tragic heroines. The music swelled; Billy was cracking his shit up.

“Hi Lucas,” Max said all dramatic and sad like she was in  _Romeo and Juliet_.

“H-hey Max,” Sinclair said all dramatic and sad like he was in  _Romeo and Juliet_. Billy and Wheeler Jr rolled their eyes; Wheeler gave him a suspicious look.

“Where's my girl at?” Billy asked him.

Wheeler gave him an even more suspicious look. “Fighting with Hop for like the eighth time this month, she  _really_  wants you to take her to see her mom.”

“Ah Jesus,” Billy said.

“You really never should have said that to her, she is not going to let it go. You promised!”

“Can't take her if the chief fuckin' kills me,” Billy pointed out; Wheeler looked a little happy at the thought of Hopper killin' him.

Max and Lucas shared a soda doin' their tragic  _Love Stor_ y shit; somehow Billy ended up over by the Dragon's Lair game with Will. Max took a moment out of her  _Love Story_  shit to declare that Billy was the worst ever at video games.

“No I ain't, I barely even play,” Billy said.

“Yeah, because you're the worst, YOU WASTED ALL MY LIVES AT DONKEY KONG AT STEVE'S!” Max went in on him.

“You was distractin' me, you never shut the fuck up!”

“BECAUSE YOU USED UP ALL MY LIVES!”

“You could probably play this one,” Byers said all loyal; he showed Billy how to play Dragon's Lair. It looked like a cartoon, was totally different than most of the other arcade games here.

Billy tried it and died in two seconds. “THE FUCK,” he said.

Byers laughed at him. “Um, the controls are like backwards, you have to push up if you want to go down.”

“Okay, show me again. MAXINE,” Billy said; she was the keeper of his fuckin' wallet tonight apparently. “Gimme some quarters.” Max looked into his wallet all officiously. Jesus. Maybe by tomorrow he'd have two dollars left.

He and Will played Dragon's Lair for a while; Wheeler popped his head over Billy's shoulder too and started yapping helpful shit like “Oh my god, you're so terrible!” Byers said Billy was doing pretty good but Billy didn't think he'd ever get to kiss the princess, not that he really wanted to, hahaha.

Someone started banging on the huge window next to the row of games; Billy looked up and Henderson was waving at them. Steve and Rebecca were with him and Rebecca was hooking up her and Dustin's bikes to the rack. Billy stared at Steve. Wheeler screamed, “Uh, BILLY, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET YOUR ASS BLASTED!”

“Uh, what?” Billy said. GAME OVER! flashed the screen. “Oh, shit.”

Henderson was coming through the door yapping away to his girl. “Why'd you knock on the window, you douchebag, you killed Billy!” Wheeler told him.

Henderson grinned at them. “He doesn't look dead,” he said like a dork; Mike sighed in disgust and Billy almost laughed.

“Hi Billy,” Rebecca said all shy; she had her long hair pulled back in two braids and a new scrape on her knee. Billy said hey back.

“Okay, okay, you don't need to say hi to her like that!” Henderson yapped. Rebecca said, “Dustin, oh my god!”

“What? I'm protecting my assets.”

“YOUR  _ASSETS?_ ” Rebecca said dangerously; Henderson grinned like a Wookie.

“My most precious asset,” he said; Will and Wheeler Jr were making great faces.

Rebecca rolled her eyes and then smiled. “Okay, your precious asset wants some curly fries.” She led him away.

Wheeler Jr looked disgusted once more. “How does that work?” He looked at Billy. “Does that actually work?”

“Apparently.” Billy's most precious asset was finally making his way into the arcade; he didn't feel like talkin' about Henderson's freaky love life.

Steve had his hands in his pockets and he was wearing a huge puffy vest over his polo shirt; fucking Christ Billy'd never thought he'd fall for someone wearing a polo shirt but apparently that happened when you was gay in Indiana.

Steve was looking around. “Hey guys.”

Max popped up out of nowhere like a true gremlin; she was eating curly fries too which Billy found very interesting. “HI STEVE!”

“Hey,” said Billy.

“Hey,” said Steve. He had his little half-smile on his face; he looked cute as shit like usual. “What's goin' on?” Three out of four creepy kids started yapping their heads off. “Okay, okay, I wasn't asking you – “

Henderson and Rebecca came back over with her fries. Henderson was stuffing about half of them in his mouth; so much for his diet. “Guys, can we go somewhere and get some real food?”

“Dude, you just ate at my house,” Steve said.

“That was like two hours ago!”

The kids yelped around and decided to go to the diner; Wheeler used up his last quarters and then they all set off down the street. Somehow it was way past nine already; Billy'd been being terrible at Dragon's Lair for a while. The creepy guys were pushing their bikes; Henderson was wobbling along with both his and Rebecca's and talking everyone's heads off. Max and Sinclair were walkin' next to each other and still doing their tragic  _Love Story_  shit and not holding hands for once.

Steve was walking next to him and Will. He wasn't saying too much like he usually would; it made Billy feel weird.

“What you been up to?”

Steve didn't fire off with a twenty-minute work story like usual. “Uh, nothing really.”

Okay. “Yeah, me too.”

Steve didn't say anything; Billy wondered if he was having a gay panic. Billy'd been having a gay panic for most of his life so he was pretty over it by now.

They got to the diner and squished into their usual huge booth. Steve still wasn't talkin' to Billy too much and he wasn't lookin' at him too much either; mostly he was talking to Dustin and Rebecca.

Billy felt weird as shit; he knew what this felt like. Was the same as being with a girl. He knew when somebody wasn't into him.

That was okay; was about what he'd figured. He'd been hoping and he'd been thinking about Steve's amazing dick for most of the week but it was about what he'd figured. It'd been why he'd put off calling him. That was okay.

He tried hard not to get into a big sulk about it. He leaned back in the booth and talked to Wills for a while; Max was too distracted by Sinclair's presence to be givin' Billy any kinda big look for once.

It took a million years for the kids to eat their food and then a million years of standing around outside to figure out what they was all doing. The creepy guys were all headed back to Wheeler's house; Max said she wanted to spend the night at Rebecca's.

Max handed him back his wallet reluctantly. Billy gave her her five dollars and a glare, too. “Call your mom,” he said.

“I know!” Max yapped.

“Becca's house and not Sinclair's, I mean it.”

“Oh my god, I know, Dad!” Max said; Billy glared at her.

Max took Rebecca's bike for her and started wheeling it off down the sidewalk; it was just him and Harrington left under the streetlamp. Steve wasn't saying anything to him and Billy felt like a huge dumb asshole. Even so he said, “You want me to give you a ride home?”

“Uh, I guess,” Steve said in his new distracted voice.

“Car's like a block away.”

“Okay.”

They walked the block in silence; Billy was still lamenting his life. Didn't know what to say. He was supposed to be cooler than this; why wasn't he cooler than this? Never done this shit before, not like this.

Steve got in the car and Billy drove him home. Neither of them said too much; the radio was on and playing too quiet. The Rolling Stones were singing about how they couldn't get no satisfaction; Billy thought that was about right.

He was still thinking up some shit to say. “Hockey's on on Sunday,” Billy said as he turned off Main down Steve's street.

“Oh. Yeah, I know.”

Billy licked his lips. He knew he was being a total stupid fuckin' asshole but he had to try. “You want me to come over and watch it with you?”

Steve looked over at him for a second, then he kept looking out the window. “Sure, if you want,” he said flatly. He drew his hand up to his mouth and started chewing on his nail like a rat; Billy reached over without even thinking and pulled it out of his mouth. Steve jerked a little. “What the – fuck, man, you're not my mom, don't do that.”

“Ain't say I was your mom.”

“Whatever,” Steve said; Billy parked in his driveway close to the house. Everything was all dark and Steve wasn't sayin' anything else.

“Why you bein' a bitch?” Billy asked him.

“Oh, fuck you,” Steve said.

“Huh. Thought that's what you wanted.”

“Oh my god! Screw you.”

“Okay,” Billy said. Goddamn he felt like fucking shit. He leaned his head back against his seat and gripped his steering wheel.

Steve didn't say anything for a moment. He rubbed at his eyebrow. He said, “Look, I – I don't want to do this with you, okay?”

“Okay,” Billy said again; Steve was still making him feel weird. Bad. He already felt like shit but Steve was makin' him feel weird too. He’d figured Steve still would freak the fuck out and take it back at some point but he was makin’ him feel weird. Why’d he even get in the car. Billy was so fucking stupid.

Steve was looking at him; Billy didn't know why he was looking. “Fucking what?”

“You – okay.” Steve had his eyebrows raised like Billy was the one being a fuckin' asshole. “Yeah, I'm gonna go.”

Billy was still gripping the steering wheel. “You mad at me or somethin’?”

Steve looked surprised; his hand was curled around the door handle. “Uh, no,” he said. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Yeah, coulda fooled me.”

“I just – uh, I don't really know what‘s going on.” Billy didn't say anything; Steve kept staring at him, “Right, so I’m just, yeah, going to go in my house.”

“Okay, what’s that mean?”

“You – really?” Steve stared at him.

“What?”

“I – yeah, I just have no clue what you’re doing, uh, if this is, like, some game you play, that’s cool and all – “

Like usual Billy had no clue what the fuck he was going on about. “What are you  _talking_  about?” he asked him.

“Uh, I DON’T KNOW,” Steve said. “I don’t know what’s going on, Bill! I mean, uh, okay, you flirt with me all month, you kiss me in an, uh, an alleyway, you throw me on my counter and fuckin’, fuckin’ make out with me — “

“You was already on the counter,” Billy pointed out.

Steve looked like he was getting a migraine. “All right, whatever, that’s not the point. I just – “

“S’like half the point,” Billy said. He felt real annoyed; how was he supposed to go around and not try to make out with Harrington when he was lookin’ cute as shit sitting on various surfaces?

“ _What?_ ” Steve looked like he was getting an even bigger migraine. “Look, I just don’t know what – what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to matter, but I just – like, this month you want to screw around with me, I guess, okay, uh, back in January you threw me out your damn window and didn’t want to talk to me for three weeks – “

“I already said I was sorry for that.” How many times was he supposed to say it; what was he supposed to say.

He glanced over again. Steve was still holding onto the door handle like he was gonna bolt in two seconds.

Steve looked real annoyed; he looked like a very fucking angry marshmallow in his puffy jacket. “Okay, but you still – whatever, fuckin’ yelled all that shit at me and won’t – say why. So if you’re going to get sick of me again I’d like a heads up before I go and make an asshole out of myself – “

“That’s not what happened,” Billy said. He didn't know why Steve was going on about it. Thought they were over that.

“Uh, yeah, I was there, pretty sure that’s what happened, if you’re getting ready to do that shit again I’d – “

“That’s not what happened, I didn’t get sick of you,” Billy told him. He was back to looking at his steering wheel; it was so interesting. “Was because I wanted to throw you on the counter.”

Steve sounded badly startled. “Uh, what?”

“All that shit from before.” It was really hard to say. He didn’t want to say it. He might as well say it; Billy was pretty sure he'd already screwed everything up, and Steve had got his FUCKING DUMBASS button going off again after all. “All that shit I said, I didn’t mean it. Was just mad because I wanted you. Okay?”

“You wanted ...” Steve still sounded startled; Billy wasn’t looking at him. He didn’t need to sound like that. Had to already fuckin' know. “Okay,” Steve said finally; he sounded really overwhelmed. “Okay. I, yeah, I didn’t know that. That is, uh, new information.”

Billy didn’t say anything. Steve said, “So – what about now?”

“What?”

“What about now, do you still feel like that or what?” Billy looked up; Steve looked all annoyed in two seconds. “Are you, like, okay, seriously, are you screwing with me?”

Hahahahaha Billy said in his head even though it wasn’t funny. Somehow he managed not to scream at Steve that he hadn’t even started screwing with him yet. He felt kinda dizzy again. “Yeah I still feel like that,” he said shortly.

“Okay. Right.” Steve had his eyebrows drawn down and he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Billy wanted to lean over and grab him.

“What?”

“Uh, nuh – nothing. Are you gonna flip out on me again now?”

“I ain’t flipping out,” Billy told him. He was super chill all the time. Obviously.

“Okay,” said Steve. “Okay, so you – what’re you doing?”

“What are you  _talkin’_  about?” Billy begged him.

“Nothing, just, uh – okay, I haven’t seen you all week – “

Billy stared at him. “Man, are you serious?” he said. He said about eight million swears in his head; he shoulda gone over. Even so: “It’s been like three days.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that!” Steve looked even more annoyed in two seconds. “I’m not, like – okay, I just don’t know what’s going on, I thought you – “

“Oh my god, I wanted to see you,” Billy interrupted him. ”Called you on Tuesday night, you wasn’t home.”

“Oh.” Steve stared at him too. “Sorry, I wasn’t – ”

“Max flipped her fucking shit again, her mom ain’t lettin’ her see Lucas anymore,” Billy told him. “She was cryin’ her goddamn head off, had to take her out all night and cool her off. I tried callin’ you.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.”

“Ain’t you just see them doing their  _Love Boat_  shit?”

“Uh, yeah, I wasn’t really payin’ attention to them,“ Steve said dryly; Billy didn't know what that meant.

“Had to do fuckin’ damage control with her, then I got busy at work. Hank threw his back out, I had to help him get home and shit. I just got busy.” Steve was still staring at him. “Wanted to see you, I dunno what you fuckin’ want.”

“Oh.” Steve looked really embarrassed; he finally took his hand off the door handle. “Sorry, I just – ”

Billy was back to looking at the steering wheel. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

“Wow, I feel really stupid,” Steve said; Billy managed not to make a comment. “I just didn’t know what was going on.”

“Coulda called me,” Billy said like a sulky bitch.

“Oh, yeah, let me call you at work like a huge girl to talk about our fuckin’ relationship!” Steve said all snitty like a dramatic bitch, hell yeah maybe that was gonna be Billy’s dramatic bitch. He felt a little hopefully even though maybe he shouldn't be feelin' that way. Holy shit. Anyway Steve was still fuckin' talking. “I bet you’d love that, you’d still be fuckin’ laughing at me!”

”Still coulda called me. If you wanted.”

“I – yeah, I didn't really know what you wanted,” Steve said.

Billy could understand that; he'd been feeling the same way. “Look, my fuckin' brain don't work right, I been hit too many times, you know this,” he told Steve. “Wanted to see you. You wanna see me, just fuckin' call me, okay?”

“Okay, yeah I – sorry,” Steve said. He sounded really embarrassed; it was kinda great and kinda something else. He didn’t need to sound that way. “God, I’m sorry. Sorry, I don’t know why I get like this. I uh – yeah, Tommy used to say all the time when I like someone I get totally crazy.”

Billy started grinning; he couldn’t help it. “Do ya like me, Harrington?” he asked in delight.

“I – oh my god,” Steve said. He sounded all annoyed again. “I don’t – do you like  _me?_ ”

Goddamn he was really gonna make him say it; Billy stopped grinning. He still wasn’t looking at Steve so it was okay. Jesus. Okay. “You know I like you,” he forced himself to say.

“Uh, yeah. No I don’t.”

“Yeah you do,” Billy told him. “Think about it for two seconds, think about the last five months. You fuckin’ know.”

Steve didn’t say anything for a few seconds; it took more than two. Billy guessed he was thinking about it. Finally he said, “Okay,” all overwhelmed again. Then he didn’t say anything some more.

Billy chewed on his lip; he rolled his tongue around his mouth. Jesus Harrington was putting him through the fuckin’ ringer. He felt real scared again. “So,” he said slowly. “Okay, so Monday was … okay with you?”

Steve didn’t answer him for a second. “That depends,” he said slowly.

Jesus Christ, Billy was gonna die in two seconds. “Depends on what?”

“Uh – I guess – depends on how many other guys you go around throwin’ on countertops or whatever.”

“You was  _already_  on the counter!” Billy said in pain; Steve stared at him. “Oh my god, there ain’t no other guys.”

“Okay, right. What about, what about girls?”

Fucking shit, Steve really thought he was some kinda slut or something; he didn’t know why everybody always thought that shit. “Ain’t no girls either.”

“I thought maybe you were drivin’ around kissing your mystery woman this week or something.”

Billy stared blankly at him; Steve stared back. “My  _what?_ ”

“You ... that girl you – like.” Steve looked real unsure of himself. God he was so cute even if Billy never understood a word he fuckin' said. “Don’t you ... like someone?”

Still Billy stared; he had no clue what the fuck Harrington was going on about. Why the fuck would he – then he got it. “Oh my god, man. No, that was just some bullshit Max was goin’ on about,” he said. “Can’t believe you remember that shit.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve looked real embarrassed again; Billy didn’t need him lookin’ like that.

“I ain’t hookin’ up with any girls either, man,” Billy told him. “I only want to hook up with you.” Then he felt like a huge dumbass.

“Okay,” Steve said. He was chewing on the corner of his lip and looking at Billy, looked like he was thinking about it. “Okay, then I – okay, me too,” he said.

Billy stared at him. His mind was going totally blank again. “Uh. Yeah?”

“Y-yeah?” Steve raised his eyebrows; it was his nervous face. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Billy said in two seconds. He thought about it, only took another two seconds. “Okay, so what you tryin’a do?”

“What?”

“Oh my god, do I have to do every fuckin’ thing?” Billy asked him. “You gonna come get it or what?”

Steve stared at him, then he stared smiling. Holy shit. “Okay,” he said. He unclicked his seatbelt and stared at Billy some more. He pushed himself up out of his seat. Then he twisted around and swung himself into Billy’s lap.

His knee smashed into Billy’s thigh.

 _BEEEEEEEEEP!_  went the horn.

“Jesus  _fuckin’ Christ_  – “ Billy said and then Steve leaned down and kissed him; about half his mind went right out the window. The horn beeped again. Billy fumbled around by his door and pushed his seat back as far as it would go; Steve fell on him and started laughing. “Oh my god, man, you’re fuckin’ heavy – “

“I’m compact,” Steve told him severely; he kissed him again real sloppy. Jesus. Billy grabbed at him a little desperately.  _BEEEEEEP!_  went the horn.

“Fuck,” Billy said into his mouth; he put both his hands in Steve’s amazing hair. “Your fuckin’ neighbors are gonna see this shit – “

Steve laughed at him. “No they’re not,” he mumbled; he was dragging his lips over Billy's jaw. He had one hand on Billy’s shoulder twisting up his shirt and the other on the back of his neck. God. “Ones on the left have fuckin’ parties eight days a week, they don’t come outside for shit. Couple on the right’s about ninety years old.” He kissed Billy again; Billy opened his mouth into it. His heart was thumping away and he was pretty sure he was gonna die.

“Pro’lly come outside and see us and drop dead.”

“Mm,” Steve said into his mouth. “Solves our problem.” He shifted on Billy’s lap; Billy was getting fucking hard in two seconds. Oh fuck. Billy groaned and Steve shifted again.

 _BEEEEEP!_  went the horn.

“Fuckin’ shit, Steve!”

Steve starting laughing again; he tightened his grip on the back of Billy’s neck. Holy shit. “You need a bigger car,” he murmured.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Billy said. Then he stopped talking because Steve’s tongue was in his mouth again. Holy shit. Steve. Billy couldn’t keep his eyes open; he kept wanting to look at him. Couldn’t believe this shit was happening. He reached up and unzipped Steve’s stupid puffy vest. “Take this shit off, man.”

Steve was laughing at him; he struggled out of the vest. “What, you don't like it?” he said. He threw the vest in the backseat. “My mom bought that for me.”

“Don't talk about your mom right now,” Billy begged him; he put his hands on Steve's hips.

“What do you want me to talk about?” Steve was real close to him.

“Don't want you to talk,” Billy said. Steve leaned in and kissed him again; he drew Billy's bottom lip in between his teeth. Billy moved one hand off Steve's hip and pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Shit,” he said against Steve's mouth. God he was so good. “C'mere.” He put his hand back in Steve's amazing hair.

Billy liked the way Steve kissed him; it felt like he was gonna swallow him up. Their tongues slid together and Billy couldn't think at all for a couple seconds. He felt so dizzy; it'd been so long since he'd kissed somebody and really wanted to do it. It was different than kissing Tracey — than kissing anybody — and not just because Steve was bigger or heavier. Billy's whole fucking body was burning with it, how good it was. He apologized to Tracey for the millionth time, this time for something totally new. If he'd known.

There hadn't been no Harringtons in California; there hadn't been anyone like Steve ever. Maybe if there had been Billy woulda known before. He kissed Steve back and tried not to die. Fuck it felt so good to kiss someone that you wanted so bad. Steve's mouth was incredible; the shape of his lips. Jesus. He could do some amazing shit with his tongue. Steve started making his crazy sounds into Billy's mouth again; Billy wanted to hear all of them.

He had his hand in Steve's hair and his hand on his hip. There wasn't any fuckin' space in his goddamn car and Billy wasn't in control like he had been on Monday, not that he'd been in control then. He couldn't go anywhere if he wanted to. Steve ran his hand down Billy's chest and bunched the hem of his t-shirt up in his fist; Billy moaned into his mouth like a fuckin' girl when Steve's hand grazed against his stomach.

“God,” Steve mumbled; he bit Billy's bottom lip too hard and Billy thrust his hips up without meaning to.

 _BEEEEEEP!_  went the horn.

“Fuckin' Christ – “

“Oh my god, can you move – “

“How the fuck can I move with you climbin' on me – “

“The seat, can you move the seat back!”

Billy didn't answer him; he grabbed Steve by the neck and pulled him back down. He sucked Steve's bottom lip in between his teeth and pushed their hips together again. “Oh fuck,” Steve said; he put his hands in Billy's hair. “Fuck.” He put his tongue in Billy's mouth and Billy was gonna lose his mind in two seconds. He bit down without meaning to; “FUCK!” Steve said. He was thrusting against him and oh god Billy was gonna lose his mind; he could feel fucking everything. He fumbled between them.

Steve moaned when Billy rubbed against his hard-on and he about stuck his tongue down Billy's throat. There was no space and Billy could barely move his fuckin' hand; he reached up and shoved Steve in the chest so he'd back up.

Steve sat up a little and he cinched his hips up towards Billy.  _BEEEEP!_  went the horn; they ignored it.

Billy wasn't going to think about it this time; he ran his hand over Steve's cock again and started undoing his fly. “Oh fuck,” Steve said for the eightieth time. Billy got his jeans open. Harrington wore fuckin' briefs just like Billy knew he would; they had stripes on them. He put his hand in Steve's underwear and pulled his cock out.

Steve's dick was definitely bigger than his; Billy lamented his life for a split second. Then he stopped lamenting his life because he was holding Steve's amazing dick. Pretty fucking cock; Billy couldn't really think. Knew Steve'd look fucking amazing.

He looked up at Steve; his chest was heaving and he was biting his lip and he looked so good. Billy pumped his hand a couple times. Steve made a noise like Billy was killing him and leaned down and kissed him again; he almost missed Billy's mouth. He took one hand out of Billy's hair and started twisting it in his lap; Billy couldn't believe he was touching him. He moaned when Steve's hand found his cock through his jeans.

 _BEEEEEEEEEP!_  went the horn.

“FUCKING SHIT!” Billy squeezed Steve's cock again.

“Oh my god, Bill – “ Steve was trying to undo his fly; he hit his head on the ceiling – “ _FUCK!_ ” He was still touching Billy's dick through his jeans.

“Fuck, oh my god, you ain't gonna get to it – “

“ _Just move and let me_  – “

Billy took his hand off of Steve's dick and pushed him back again ( _beeeep!_  went the horn softly); he struggled for a couple seconds to open up his jeans and got his cock out too. He pressed his dick against Steve's and wrapped his hand around both of them.

“OH MY GOD,” said Steve;  _BEEEEEEP!_  went the horn as he thrust his hips like a crazy person.

Billy couldn't really talk; he could barely breathe. He was feeling too much stuff, his dick and Steve's dick and the real emotions. Jesus Christ Steve was so fucking hot; he ran his thumb over the tip of Steve's prick and got his pre-come smeared over the head of it. Steve said, “Fuck, Bill.”

Billy couldn’t believe he was actually touching him. He was still trying not to talk; he was going to come in two seconds. He kept moving his hand over the both of them; Steve moaned at some kinda motion and almost fell on him ( _BEEEEEP!_  went the horn).

”God, man,” Billy said. With his other hand he reached out and grabbed at Steve's waist to try and steady him.

Billy moved his hand real slow; he was trying to memorize the feel of Steve's cock against his own. Everything was too hot and too fast and too bright even though it was totally dark in the car; Billy didn't understand it. They weren't even kissing anymore; it was too awkward a position for that. He just kept moving his hand; Steve was moaning so he kept going. Jesus Christ.

“Gotta tell me what to do,” he said; he ran his thumb over the head of Steve's cock again and Steve shuddered. Fuck. “Steve,” he said. “What you want?” He was still moving his hand real slow and Steve said 'Oh god,” and thrust his hips again and then he was coming; his whole cock twitched  _hard_  in Billy's hand that that made him come too and then that happened.

Billy came for about a thousand years; he was pretty sure he fuckin' came for longer than they'd been fooling around. When it was over and he floated back into his body Steve was panting above him and there was a big sticky mess all over his t-shirt.

“Fucking Christ,” Billy managed; he lolled his head back against his seat and he let go of both their cocks. Steve fumbled around for another minute; he jammed his knee back on Billy's thigh and then struggled awkwardly back into the passenger seat.

Neither of them talked down a moment; they were both breathing hard. Billy wiped his hand off on his shirt. “Shit,” he said.

Steve started laughing; he looked over at him. “Sorry,” he said. He put his amazing dick back in his pants.

“Uh, s'not your fault,” Billy said like a moron; Steve leaned over and kissed him again. Billy's last living brain cell flew out the window and he let Steve kiss him real sloppy for a couple minutes. His whole empty head was spinning. Steve put his hand on Billy's shirt; he slid it down his stomach and then yelped.

“Oh my god, how's it cold already!” he yelped and Billy started laughing his ass off. Steve wiped his hand on his shirt too. “Was — was that okay?” he asked in a weird voice; he wasn’t looking over at Billy.

God. Somehow Billy managed not to say eighty gay things. “I liked it,” he said.

“Okay. Good.” Steve was starting to look overwhelmed again; Billy shifted around and put his own dick back in his pants. “Um, so are we doing this now?”

Somehow Billy managed not to say eighty more gay things. “Hope so.”

“Okay,” Steve said again.

Billy thought about it; one of his brain cells slid back into his ear. “You gonna come to my game tomorrow?”

“Uh.” Steve laughed. His hair was all crazy again and he looked so good. “Yeah, if, if you want. How many points you gonna score for me?”

“How many you want?” Billy asked; Jesus he needed to stop.

Steve laughed again. “I gotta – should probably go in,” he said. He sounded less overwhelmed and more like normal Steve now.

“Yeah. Okay.” They stared at each other; Billy was pretty sure they were about to go for round two.

Far away the light went on over on the neighbor's porch; it was the ninety-year-old couple's.

“Oh my fucking god, are you serious,” Steve said loudly; Billy started laughing.

“Yeah, you gotta go, man.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Okay, yeah.” He stared at Billy some more. “I, uh, you can – “

“See you tomorrow,” Billy said; he didn't know what all he'd do if Steve was gonna invite him in or some shit. Probably he wasn't ready for it; that was a weird thought to think.

“Yeah. Okay.” Steve looked at him for another second; he leaned in and kissed him again real quick – holy Christ – and got out of the car. Billy was pretty sure he had a huge fuckin' grin on his face; he felt like a total dumbass. Steve tripped up his porch steps and Billy felt okay.

Billy didn't even laugh; he watched him go in. He felt like he was tripping too, in more ways than one. He turned his car back on and went back down the driveway.

Somehow he got himself home without crashing into anything. His brain was spinning a mile a minute and he couldn't even breathe right; he kept forgetting to breathe. It was like the best kinda nervous breakdown.

It was a little past midnight when he crept into the house; Billy thanked every god there was that Susan was asleep when he came in. He collapsed down on his bed still in his come-streaked shirt; Jesus Christ that was Steve's come on his t-shirt.

Billy laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. His heart was still thumping in his chest like he was about to die.

Holy shit. Steve. Holy shit. Billy stayed awake for a while.

 

 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max jumped up and went to get them sodas; she gave Steve a big glare but he didn't say anything about them only havin' store brand. Max sat back down.
> 
> “Objectively, do you think Bret Michaels is cute?” she asked him; Poison was on singing 'Talk Dirty To Me.' Billy sighed in his head for a thousand years.
> 
> Steve gave her a big weird look. “Uh, do you think he's cute?”
> 
> “I don't like guys with long hair,” Max said all snooty. “Do you?” Steve just stared at her. By now Billy'd thought about sixty-four ways to kill her on the spot; he was so creative.

**Chapter Nine**

 

 _Quite some time, I've been sittin' it out_  
_Didn't take no chances, I was a prisoner of doubt_  
_I knocked down the wailing wall, ain't no sin_  
_Got the feel of fortune, deal me in_  
_Now I know I got to play my hand_  
_What the winner don't know, a gambler understands_  
_My heart keeps playin' it through with you my friend_  
_I'll take my chances on you again and again_  
_Comin' straight on for you, you made my mind_  
_Now I'm stronger, now I'm comin' through_  
_Straight on, straight on for you_  
– 'Straight On,' Heart  
  
  
**March 1987 (part two)**

 

“You're such a fucking asshole,” Steve told him. He was glaring and he looked really annoyed.

“Screw you,” Billy said dismissively.

“Screw _you_ , you're such a douchebag!”

“No I ain't,” Billy said. “You're just wrong, you got it wrong.”

“How the hell am I wrong? I just explained everything to you, it's how I feel. Actually it's not how I feel, it's fucking facts.”

“Weird, I just heard a lotta bullshit coming out your mouth like usual.”

“Oh my god!” Steve said. He leaned across the table and stole some of Billy's fries. “How is it bullshit, they fuckin' beat the Flyers last year!”

“That was last year,” Billy told him. It was Thursday night and they were at the diner; Steve was hurting him like usual acting as though he could predict the whole damn hockey season. “Why the fuck you rootin' for the Oilers, man? No one cares about Canada.”

“Okay, funny guy, they cared last year when they won the Cup – “

“Buncha fuckin' cabbage farmers in Canada, maybe you should go there so I don't gotta listen to you anymore – “

Steve actually gasped like a dramatic bitch; Billy grinned. “Wow, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you!” Steve said. “You wouldn't be able to drive my car around anymore, what would you do?”

“Oilers don't even got a single good starter this year, traded their best fuckin' forward for that little frog-lookin' faggot – “

“Oh my god, okay, just because you're hard up for Brian Propp – “

“I ain't hard-up for nobody.”

”Are you sure?” Steve said. He raised his eyebrows in that way that made Billy kinda dizzy; he was fuckin' obscene really.

Billy licked his lips. “You are – such a piece of shit, dunno why I even talk to you.”

“Huh, I think you know why you talk to me.” Steve was grinning.

Billy couldn't speak for a second; Steve looked real smug. Jesus Christ. Give a guy a handjob three times and he gets all cocky – hahahaha. Billy sank down in the booth in a big sulk. “Shut the fuck up,” he muttered. He smacked Steve's hand to recover. “Stop eatin' my fries!”

“Yeah, you're not eating them,” Steve pointed out. He took Billy's soda too. “You're running your mouth.”

“What you want me to do with my mouth?” Billy asked him.

Steve rolled his eyes and slurped Billy's soda. “Shut _up_.”

Maxine was coming over from where she'd been sitting at the counter with Lucas and Dustin. She had her bomber jacket on even though it wasn't too cold out and her usual world-weary look that she got whenever he and Harrington started up about hockey. She stretched out and leaned with her elbows on the table. “Are you guys still talking about sports?” she asked.

“Yeah, listen, Bills is trying to tell me – “

“Steve, the Oilers suck, no one cares about Canada!” Max exclaimed. “The Flyers just beat them!” Steve looked nonplussed; Billy grinned at his face. “Can I have another dollar?” Max asked him.

Billy tossed her a buck. “How long you gonna be?” It was almost eight-thirty and Susan wasn't going out of her way anymore to keep Max from Sinclair but she had given her a pretty strict curfew.

“I'm just getting another ice cream!”

“Gotta say goodbye to lover boy soon.”

“I know!” Max made her fish face at him and wandered back to the counter.

Billy turned back to Steve. “Oh my god, stop eating!”

“What? I'll pay for you, man,” Steve said.

Billy rolled his eyes; he wasn't Harrington's goddamn date. Steve went on about the Oilers for a few minutes more and Max and the creepy guys got their ice creams.

They all walked slowly out of the diner. Steve was talking and talking; he was still wearing his white work shirt and he was still drinking Billy's soda. Next to them Henderson was slurping away at his ice cream cone like a little horror. They all leaned against Steve's car and watched Max and Lucas do their Romeo and Juliet shit at the sidewalk corner.

Max and Lucas stared into each others' eyes; you couldn't hear what they were saying from over here. “MAXINE,” Billy said; it was eight-forty.

“Okay, okay, god!” Max yapped. Lucas was unlocking his bike from the bike rack.

“Sure you don't want a ride home?” Steve asked him. “We can put your bike in the truck.”

“Thanks, I'm good,” Lucas said right away; Billy was pretty sure he didn't want to chance his folks seeing him in the car with Max.

“Okay, see ya.” They parted ways. Lucas pedaled off and Max and Dustin climbed into the backseat.

“Seatbelts!” Steve said like a den dad. The kids rolled their eyes; Dustin slurped his ice cream (Billy shuddered). Steve started pulling the car out of the lot. “Don't get that on my seat, shithead.”

“Oh my god, has Billy been in your car?” Henderson yapped in two seconds.

“Uh, why?”

“Didn't you get it back from his work like three weeks ago, it still smells like him.”

“Huh, that's weird,” Steve said in a funny voice; they'd only been neckin' in it for about an hour last night after Billy'd got off work. Billy scratched at his eyebrow and tried to look nonchalant. “I don't think it smells like him.”

Maxine leaned forward in her seat. “The _scent_ of _Billy,_ ” she said like a shitheel. She tapped at her chin exaggeratedly. “How would you describe that? What is that, it's like a distinctive, it's like, scent of douchebag, I'd call it.”

“Okay, asshole,” Billy said.

“It doesn't smell like asshole,” Henderson said; Billy glared at him grinning in the rearview mirror. “Smells like, uh, Camel menthols and cheap cologne.”

Billy twisted around in his seat. “OKAY, SHITHEAD, YOU'RE REAL FUNNY!” He swiped at Dustin.

“AHHH!” said Henderson. “STEVE, HE'S GOING TO KNOCK OVER MY ICE CREAM!”

“YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY?”

“AHHH! I SAID IT ALREADY!”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Steve said; he was laughing. The car skidded a little on the road as Billy struggled with Henderson. Henderson smacked him in the arm so Billy grabbed his baseball cap. “Hey, hey! Guys!” Steve grabbed his arm a little. “Bill! Calm down, okay?”

Billy scowled with Steve touching his shoulder; he turned back around and flopped down in his seat. “My cologne ain't cheap,” he said in a big sulk.

“I know, man,” Steve soothed him; he was gettin' a big kick out of him. He flicked Billy's earring. “Be nice, okay?”

“Yeah, _Bill_ , be _nice,_ ” Max said in a smarmy voice; Billy snarled. Wasn't too much he could do though with Harrington touching his shoulder and touching his fuckin’ earring. Jesus Christ Steve had him acting like a goddamn neutered puppy. Okay maybe not fully neutered. Hahaha.

“Why the fuck you eatin' so much anyway, what happened to your diet?” he asked Henderson still in a big sulk.

Steve said, “No no, please, don't ask him abou – ”

“I no longer need to be on a diet, Rebecca has seen me without a shirt on as of SUNDAY AFTERNOON and she DIDN'T EVEN SCREAM!”

“God, I'm going to throw up,” said Max.

“Wait, yous went to Second Street already?” Billy asked him. It was the first he was hearing about it.

“I HAVE SEEN THE PROMISED LAND AND IT IS A SOLID B CUP! I HAVE SEEN THE MOUNTAINS OF PARADISE AND THEY ARE – ”

“Dustin! Jesus!” Steve and Max said in varying tones of disgust.

“Oh my fuckin' god,” Billy said; he was laughing. “How was it?”

“Out of respect for my lady I have been bound from sharing any details!” Dustin yapped.

Max slugged him on the shoulder. “You _douchebag_ , you just told us all her bra size – “ Steve started laughing.

“How were her tits? Did you feel 'em?” Billy demanded.

“Oh, my god, Bill,” Steve said.

“Fucking what? I wanna know, I deserve to know this shit.”

“That is classified information,” Henderson told him; he was grinning though.

“What was it like, okay,” Billy said. “Come on, how was the, ah, firmness level, was it like pudding or Jell-o?”

“BILLY, YOU SLUG!” Max screamed; she leaned up in her seat again and punched his shoulder too.

Steve was still laughing at them; he put his blinker on and turned off of Main Street. “What? What are you even talking about?”

“No, I can't hear this crap again,” Max begged them. Billy started laughing too.

“What? You've heard this shit before?” Steve asked her.

“Billy and Tracey made it up with their friend Jack, they are _total_ cretins.”

“Wo-ow, okay, I want to hear this, what are you talking about?”

“The firmness rating, like you feel it through the bra,” Billy told him. Steve stared. “Like, okay, you know that bagged pudding shit they used to give you at lunch back in middle school?”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said. “Wait, you talked about this stuff with – with your girlfriend?”

Billy gave him a look. “Told you that was my girl.” He guessed Steve had never had any kinda fun stupid conversation with Wheeler; he wondered if she'd ever taken her fuckin' bra off for him.

“Okay.” Steve made a great 'huh' face.

“Tracey was a _huge_ pervert,” Max put in helpfully like she herself hadn't just gotten caught rounding the bases with Sinclair last month.

“I would like to meet this girl,” Dustin said.

“Okay, all right,” said Steve. “So okay, what about the – Jesus – what is this about the pudding bag?”

“Okay, s'either a bag of pudding or a bag of Jell-o, guess it usually depends on how big the tits are,” Billy explained philosophically; Steve raised his eyebrows very high. “'Cept if they're really small then, then you got like your little mosquito bite bumps I guess, or I guess it's like – ”

“Oh my god, I _hate_ you – “ Max said –

Billy was laughing too much – “it's like a – “

“Shut up!”

“'s like a Jell-o Jiggler – “

“WOW,” said Henderson.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again. “Which is, wait, is that, so which is good?”

“Jello's prime, but any tit's a good tit, man,” Billy told him; he believed that even if he wasn't into 'em like he should be. He thought about it. “Aside from Maxine's that is.”

“AUGH!” said Max like Charlie Brown; she slugged him again, two times. “DON'T TALK ABOUT MY TITS, YOU MONGOLOID!”

“HAHAHAAA,” Billy said with her hitting him; she even fuckin' pulled his hair too.

“Guys, come on, stop, stop!” Steve said. Maxine was half-stretched into the front seat beating on Billy; she kept knocking Steve in the arm. “Max, hey!”

Billy pushed Max's face back and turned his attention to Dustin. “So which is it? Come on kid, pudding or Jell-o?”

“Listen, that's classified information, this conversation has _really_ opened up my mind in so many ways but I seriously cannot tell you guys any details.”

Steve said, “Okay, so why'd I have to hear this shit for two hours the other – “

“ – BUT IF I _COULD_ GIVE ANY DETAILS, I'D SAY DEFINITELY JELL-O!”

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again.

“ _Very_ nice,” Billy told Dustin.

 

They were cutting it close but they dropped Henderson off first; Max leaned up between Steve and Billy after he'd gone to take control of the radio. She got it to POWER 99 where Tom Petty was on singing 'American Girl.' Billy'd used to sing that song to Tracey all the time and she'd yell and tell him how terrible he sounded; “Don't sound any worse than him singing it,” Billy'd say. He guessed it was appropriate that it'd came on since Max'd just been yapping her head off about Trace and all.

“Steve, can you floor it, my mom is going to murder me if I break curfew!” Max said; it was 8:52.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Steve got them back to the house at three minutes after nine, truly not bad for the way he drove. Max got out of the car complaining about how slow he was anyway.

“Bitch, are you serious, you drank my whole fuckin' soda?” Billy asked him as he unbuckled his seat belt.

“Oh no, guess I have to buy you another one,” Steve said real sweet; Jesus he was so smart. He shook the empty styrofoam cup at them.

Max bitched her head off and regenerated a new one. “Oh my god, are you guys serious?”

“I ain't got a curfew,” Billy reminded her.

“ _Madhouse_ is on at ten, you _said_ you'd watch it with me!” Max yapped; she was on some big Vincent Price kick lately.

“He'll be back by then,” Steve told her.

“Will I?” Billy said; Steve smiled at him.

Max gave them a big look and finally closed her door. “Okay...” she said slowly. From inside the house Susan turned the porch light off in what Billy felt was a real officious manner; Max sighed. “Don't have _too much_ fun, boys. Safety first!”

“Oh, my god, bye Max,” Steve said pointedly. Max gave them another look, then she flipped them off and scampered towards the house. Steve watched her as she ran in. “She is too frickin' much. Did you – tell her about us or something?”

Honestly at this point Billy still wasn't sure what there was to tell her. Anyway, Max'd been talking that way to Steve for months now. “No, you think I'm stupid?” he said. “Maybe she wants you too.”

Steve rolled his eyes and made a terrible face. “Uh, yeah, I doubt that.” He put the car back in drive. “Jesus, she makes me nervous, I thought she might've figured out that I had a, a thing for you or whatever.”

Billy stared at him; Steve kept on driving like what he'd just said wasn't a huge fuckin' deal. Goddamn but it made Billy feel bad. He was a piece of shit but he didn't like lyin' to Harrington _and_ to Max.

Steve really did buy him another soda and then they drove back to his fancy house. It was all dark like usual and there were no other cars in the driveway; they were good to go. They'd barely got inside before Billy pressed him up against the door and planted one on him.

Steve banged into an end table. “Ah! Jesus,” he muttered; he had his hand in Billy's hair already though. He pulled Billy down the hallway. Outside towards the back of the house Luke and Leia started going nuts barking; it was about the first time Billy’d ever ignored the kids. He leaned in and kissed Steve again, then he banged into an end table too (“Fuck!” Billy said; Steve started laughing against his mouth). Steve's big nose squashed against his face; it was real romantic.

They'd gotten together and hooked up a couple times since last week – here once before on Saturday after Billy's basketball game had ended, last night in the car after they’d gotten out of work. Both times had ended with them fumbling around like crazy and then him jerking Steve off; it was quickly becoming Billy's favorite pastime.

The car again probably hadn't been too smart of an idea – they'd parked at the lake and it'd been raining so hard – but what happens happens. The Beamer was way bigger than Billy's car too and the horn hadn't gone off that time. Seemed like it was so much harder to see someone when you wanted to fuckin' be alone and make out with them, more so if you was a guy and the person you wanted to be getting with was also a guy.

Even so every time he was alone with Steve now he got real scared – he couldn't help it. It was okay when they were out together or with the brats around yelling and talking their heads off. When they got alone Billy didn’t know what was gonna happen; he kept waiting for Steve to say, 'Okay, we can't do this anymore.' He felt like a nervous kid again, could barely believe it whenever Steve'd touch him.

It was too stupid. He wanted Harrington so bad; he couldn't stand to think about not having him. It hadn’t even been a week yet and Steve wasn’t even his, whatever the fuck that’d mean if he was. He kept waitin' for him to change his mind. He couldn't really be queer like Billy was; he could still change his mind.

Probably wouldn't change his mind in the middle of Billy gettin' him off. He pushed Steve up against the wall again and curled his tongue into his mouth.

Steve started laughing when Billy put his hands up under his shirt. “Are you gonna rate my tits?” he asked him; he was smiling. “What am I, pudding or Jello-o?”

“You ain't got no tits to rate,” Billy said and pressed their mouths together again. Steve tasted like his stolen root beer.

“Yeah, but I think there should be some kinda – “

“Jesus, can you stop talkin'?” Billy begged him. Steve kissed him in the middle of it because he was fucking rude.

“I'm not talking.” They were about two inches apart; Billy felt a little light-headed.

“Come on, man, I only got like twenty minutes here.”

“Oh my god, you're so cute, you really want to watch the movie with her.”

“Fuckin' said I would earlier, I didn't know you'd wanna do something again.”

“Yeah, I always wanna do something,” Steve told him; he was playing with the collar of Billy's red shirt.

He bit at Steve's bottom lip for a moment. God he tasted so good. It wasn't the root beer, was something about his lips and the way his mouth felt. “Okay. What you wanna do?”

Steve smiled at him; Billy guessed he had some ideas. He grabbed Billy by the back of the neck and kissed him some more. Somehow they made it to the living room. “OW!” Steve said when he knocked into the coffee table.

Billy fell onto the couch and pulled Harrington on top of him. He felt so dizzy again, wanted to touch him so bad. They shifted around for a couple seconds and Steve kneed him in the thigh twice. It was weird, navigating around another guy's body. It was what he wanted but it was so different – Harrington was the same size as him; bigger really even though he'd be fucking insufferable if Billy ever said it.

“I was thinkin' about you at work today,” Steve told him; Billy was running his hands down over the curve of his back. They were pressed pretty close together and Steve was leaned up above him. He put his hands on Billy’s shoulders for a second. His hair smelled really good too, Jesus. Maybe Steve’d got all fancy for him or something; thinking like that made Billy feel all giddy in two seconds.

Billy couldn't stop looking at him in the dim light. It'd been three times already and he still couldn't really believe Steve'd let him touch him. He pulled him a little closer. “Oh yeah? What you think about me?”

“Ah, mostly how much you were gonna annoy me talking about the Flyers.”

“Ha fucking ha.”

The room was dark but Steve was grinning at him; Billy could see the shadows playing over his face and his dark hair falling in his eyes. His skin was so pale and Billy couldn't talk again for a couple seconds. “I said _mostly_.” Steve was playing around with his shirt collar again. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together again; Billy opened his mouth up into the kiss. Steve slid his hand up Billy's chest and curled it around the back of his neck.

Somehow Billy managed not to whimper like a huge girl. He'd been thinking about Harrington all day too. Not about hockey.

Steve shifted around on the couch; he pulled himself back up and started messing around with the top two buttons on Billy's shirt. Billy covered Steve's mouth with his own and helped him get the shirt unbuttoned.

He closed his eyes when Steve traced a hand up the line of his spine. “Hey, your back feels way better now,” Steve told him; he kissed the side of Billy's mouth. “Still hurt?”

Billy shivered. “No, 'm good.”

They made out for a while. It was just making out and it was just touching but it was so good. Once again Billy thought he'd be okay dyin' this way; he was basically obsessed with it now, wasn't ever a single other thing on his mind. Time seemed to do this strange thing when he was kissing on Harrington: it went by too slow and too fast all at once. Every now and then Steve would pull back to say something stupid; Billy'd beg him to shut up and drag him back down onto the couch.

Steve put his hand on the side of Billy's face and curled his fingers under his jaw which felt great. Then he said, “You gotta shave your fucking face, man, you're killing me,” which was less great.

Billy decided against telling him that he sounded like a huge girlfriend. “Think you can take it,” he said. He stretched up and bit Steve's bottom lip again; Steve started making his crazy sounds. He was just getting down to business and starting to reach for Harrington's belt when the big grandfather clock in the corner of the living room started going off makin’ some weird chiming sound.

Billy opened his eyes; he wasn't sure when he'd closed them. “S'that?”

Steve made a great face and sat up a little again; he elbowed Billy in the chest. “Sorry! Ah, yeah, uh, it's ten-fifteen.”

“Shit, are you fuckin' serious?” He flopped his head down on the arm of the couch. “Why ain't it go off before?”

“I wasn't really paying attention to that.”

“Shit,” Billy said again. “Okay, I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

Billy thought about it; he was still playing around with Steve's belt buckle. He'd been feeling Steve's huge amazing hard-on against him for about a half hour. “You want me to get you off?”

“Oh, my god.” Steve made another great face. “Uh, you don't have to do that every time.”

“I don't mind,” Billy told him, the greatest understatement of his life. “Only takes about thirty seconds.”

“Oh, screw you, yesterday was at _least_ a minute,” Steve said; Billy laughed. He wondered if Harrington wanted to screw him. Okay okay okay. Had to get himself under control.

He reached out to shove Steve off him and ended up curling his hand around the side of his neck instead. He stroked his thumb over the three big freckles that went down the side of Steve's throat; Billy was pretty sure they were his favorite ones. Steve bit at his wrist and then leaned down and kissed him again. “Lemme up,” Billy said against his mouth. God Harrington was going to fucking kill him; he wasn't exactly struggling.

“Okay,” Steve murmured and kissed him some more; Billy's hand slid from his neck and into his hair. “Hmmm.”

“I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

Billy kissed him for another couple minutes; he could feel Maxine's wrath radiating from across town and turning him off though. He pulled Steve's hair really hard. “Hey, lemme up,” he said again.

“Ow, ow, ow – okay, jeez.” Steve climbed off him; they had a kind of awkward minute where they both just stood around looking at each other with their huge hard-ons. Steve hadn't really tried to touch him aside from that first time last week when he'd been tryin' to get at Billy's dick in the Camaro; Billy was okay with waiting for it. Pretty okay. One day soon he was just gonna cream his pants and fucking die. He'd told Harrington _I only wanna hook up with you_ and Steve had said _okay me too_ but he wasn't gonna fuckin' force him to do something. He'd definitely waited longer before for a girl.

Jesus it'd be real nice if he'd do something though. Anyway Billy and his hand were pretty good friends now.

Billy did his shirt back up and they went back outside so Steve could drive him home; Steve started talking his head off like usual and Billy felt okay. “What are you doin' tomorrow?” Steve asked him after he'd finished complaining about fuckin' stubble-burn from Billy's face for eight minutes.

Billy thought about it. He wished he could just drop all his plans; a year ago he would've. Then again, if you'd told him a year ago that he'd be thinking about skipping out on work to go and mack on Steve Harrington some more, Billy'd have laughed himself sick and then probably gone and thrown himself off one of the cliffs at the quarry.

He licked his lips; could still taste Steve on his mouth. “I got a game at six, probably have to babysit Max and Sinclair after. Uh, was gonna stop by the shop and make sure my boss ain't fuckin' dead.” He'd never say it out loud but Hank had really scared him last week.

“Do you want me to come to your game again or is that weird?”

“You can come watch me,” Billy told him. He liked showing off for Harrington. “Just meant we probably can't hook up after.”

“That's okay, I'll have to see what time I get off work. What about Saturday, are you going to the Wheelers'?”

“Jesus.” Billy made a face; the kids were playing their stupid dragon game at Mike's again (“Mike's house, not the pizza place!” Henderson'd told Billy and Max like they was stupid). “Yeah, guess I gotta be there.” Steve knew all about Susan's new rule for Max and Sinclair.

“I'll go if you go.”

“Are you gonna play with 'em?” Billy asked in delight; he was seeing a whole new expanse of shit to tease Harrington about.

“No, I'm not going to play, you asshole,” Steve said. He added in a grumpy tone, “Anyway Becca took my spot.” Billy laughed and laughed; Steve smiled at him doing it.

Max glared over at him like she was his damn mom when he finally came in. “It's TEN THIRTY-THREE, ASSFACE!” she yelled over the TV.

“What, anything good happen?”

“Not really,” Max admitted. She was sprawled out on the couch in her pajamas with the little cats all over 'em and she gave him a big weird look. “Where's your stupid soda?”

“Uh,” Billy said; about three-quarters of his brain were still halfway across town on Harrington's couch. “Forgot it.”

Max looked at him like he was dumb. “Seriously?”

“We was talkin'.” Billy sat down on the couch next to her.

“Uh-huh.” She was still giving him a big look; Billy worried that she was gonna figure him out in about a minute. “You would tell me if something happened between you guys, right?”

“Jesus, nothing happened,” Billy told her; he felt seriously guilty in two seconds. To make himself feel even more guilty he said, “Ain't you think you'd be able to tell if something happened?”

“ _Maybe._ ” Max glared at him all mistrustfully. “I still have til the end of the month, you know.”

“Yeah, uh-huh.” Christ, he was gonna end up having to take her to like four George Michael concerts at this point, even if Harrington fucking went and dumped him on Saturday or something. Maybe he would; tomorrow wasn't a sure thing and Saturday was still two days away. Billy stared at the TV and tried to think of what he'd do if Steve had a gay panic before then and cut him off.

Max was still yapping. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder; Billy had no clue why she was doing that shit. He froze and stared down at her. “Nothing's going to happen if you don't _make a move_ , do you need to see Metallica that badly? I don't why you're doing this, you stupid baby.” Max went on and on insulting him.

Billy hitched his shoulder twice to try and get her off of him; he wasn’t a fuckin’ baby. Max ignored him. “What'm I doing?” he asked her.

“Gee, try _nothing?_ ”

Billy decided to indulge her even though she was treatin' him like a superbrat. “Why do I gotta make the move, why can't he make it?”

Max sat up for a second and gave him a look that said he was a huge dumb asshole. “Uh, because Steve is _stupid_ , he never knows what's going on! He probably doesn't know you're into him. You have to _tell_ him, Billy!”

“What, you ain't drop enough hints for me?” Billy asked her; Jesus he couldn't actually believe he felt bad lyin' to her.

“He _probably_ wouldn't even get it if you threw him against a wall and stuck your tongue down his throat!” Max said all grumpy.

HAHAHAHA, thought Billy. Jesus. He wondered if she had fuckin' cameras all over town or something. “Guess he is pretty dumb,” he said. Max leaned on him again; he took the TV remote and turned the volume up over her.

 

* * *

 

Friday passed as slowly as possible; the seconds ticked away at a snail's pace. Billy was counting down 'til the weekend like usual.

During study hall he taught Henderson and Rebecca how to play poker with an old deck of cards Henderson had – Billy won two candy bars and Dustin got yelled at by the teacher for hollerin' about fifty-two card pickup. In English they'd started reading _The Sound and the Fury_ by Faulkner; Billy'd read all that shit back in California during sophomore year. That Quentin guy was still a fucking pervert and now Billy was gonna have to write a damn essay about it a second time. He took a nice nap on his desk as the teacher was goin’ on about perspective changes in a novel. At least it wasn't more Shakespeare, Billy figured.

School finally ended and he drove himself right to work. Hank wasn't dead; he was working on Susan's car. Billy leaned against the wall and watched Hank fuck around with the transmission for a while.

“Thought I was supposed to be doing that.”

“I ain't doin' nothing,” Hank told him. He was huffing away in his back brace. “Go up front and cover for me, hey? That Owens guy is comin' in for his Jeep, I fucking hate that prick.”

“Jesus,” Billy said; Hank laughed at him.

Billy went up front. Friday was the worst day for pickups; everyone wanted to get their shit done before the weekend. Alan came in with two tows bitchin' his head off, then the Owens guy did come by. He spent about ten minutes inspecting his car as Billy envisioned beating him to death with a tire iron; he'd get so creative with it. Two rednecks from out in South Bend stopped over to pick up parts and someone came in with their Hyundai all busted up. Mrs. Ellenburg came in for no reason but to talk to him for ten minutes and to throw her amazing breasts all over the counter; Billy stared at her and wondered how he hadn’t realized he was gayer than a maypole about a decade ago.

Finally at a quarter past five Maxine came boarding in to save him – she breezed right past him and went into the back to talk to Hank; Billy rolled his eyes. They both yapped their heads off to each other while Billy muttered to himself and locked up the counter. Everyone in this goddamn town talked too much.

He went back into the garage. “Max, you're killin' me.”

“Mom's car starts again!” she told him all excited.

Billy leaned against the door again. “Yeah, I see that.”

“You gotta go soon, Bill?” Hank asked him. “Who you playin' tonight?”

“We're going against South Bend, they _majorly suck_ ,” Max answered for Billy in two seconds; he wondered why he ever bothered to try to fucking talk. “They have the worst average of the season, it is _probably_ going to be a massacre.”

Hank told him good luck and not to kill anyone at basketball; he said he was heading out too. “That asshole come back for his Jeep?”

“Yeah, took him about fifteen minutes to take his damn keys, thanks for that.”

Hank laughed at him some more. He was the worst boss really, had no compassion. Billy leaned against the wall and suffered as Hank and Max gabbed on and on; they’d never stop. Eventually he slid to the floor in a dramatic way.

Max rolled her eyes when she finally noticed him playin' dead. “Okay okay okay!” She grabbed at his arm; Billy flopped over on his side. “OH MY GOD, YOU DUMBASS! The floor's dirty!”

He and Max went out to the Camaro and Billy drove them back to the high school. He left Max talkin' with Beverly and Will and Henderson out in the hallway and went off to hang with a couple of guys on the team before they had to go into the gym. It was only March and they was already going on bitching about taking their girlfriends to the prom; Billy was pretty sure he wasn't going to have to worry about that shit this year either.

The game tonight was just a home game so there weren't a lot of people there to watch them play. Hawkins didn't care too much about basketball. “GO BILLY!” Henderson yelled anyway like huge dork shithead; Maxine shoved his shoulder hard. Billy'd given her three bucks earlier and she and Sinclair had bought out the whole snack stand with it it seemed.

South Bend was a bunch of assholes and Billy wondered if any of Tommy Hall's famous cousins were on the team. He got four points right away and Henderson cheered for him some more. Truly Billy almost felt the real emotions; it was a shame that Henderson was such an annoying fuck otherwise.

During the second quarter he scored three points from way down the court. He looked up after the coach had blown the whistle again and saw that Harrington had actually finally showed up; he was talking away sandwiched between Dustin and Max and Nancy Wheeler. He was laughing a lot.

Billy wondered what was funny. He stole the ball from number 08 from South Bend and went back down the court. When he looked up again he wished he hadn't – Nancy was smiling real cute and she put her hand on Harrington's arm for about five seconds; it was so great. Number 08 from South Bend slammed into his shoulder trying to steal the ball back so Billy threw him across the gym.

“HARGROVE, GODDAMNIT, THAT'S A FOUL!” the coach yelled his head off and blew his whistle. “GET ON THE BENCH!”

“That's my bad arm, he fuckin' knocked into me!”

“I should cut you for your _fuckin'_ language alone, you'll be lucky if I let you come to a goddamn practice next week.” Billy scowled. “I'm tired of your ugly face! BENCH!” the coach told him.

Billy went and sat on the edge of the bleachers in a big sulk. He was trying hard not to feel pissed off. He wondered what Harrington and Nancy were having so much fun talking about together; he was pretty sure it wasn't about how he and Steve'd been necking on his couch last night for about a damn hour.

He glared out at the court; number 08 from South Bend flipped him off.

After the second ended quarter Maxine trooped over like his little cheerleader and plopped herself down beside him. She was drinking a huge soda and she smelled like cheese fries from the cafeteria.

“You were doing so good, why'd you go all Demogorgan?” she asked him.

Billy didn't really know what that meant. “I didn't do shit, you saw that fag push me.”

Max was giving him one of her calculated womenly looks; Billy didn't appreciate it. “I thought you were over using that language, did you get mad because Nancy's here?” she asked.

“I ain't mad,” Billy lied. “Harrington bring her or something?”

“What?” Max looked at him like he was an insane person. “Uh, no. Will's brother is taking pictures for the game, they are in a big fight apparently,” Max informed him; that was great too. “She stole my seat! I told Steve he should break Jonathan's camera, he didn't think that was too funny.”

Billy didn't answer her and Max narrowed her eyes at him after another second. She looked at him critically with another one of her looks; Billy didn't know why she was lookin'. “Wow, you're actually mad!” she gasped. She started laughing at him.

“Screw off, I ain't mad,” Billy lied again.

“Oh my god, you're such a gorilla!” Max said. “You baby! Steve doesn't know he's your _territory_ now.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy begged her. “Why you sittin' by me? You're embarrassin' me.”

“You always do this, you huge infant!” Maxine was getting a real kick out of him.

“No I don't.”

“Yes you do, you're so stupid! Do you remember when that guy on the baseball team asked Tracey to the winter formal?”

That'd been a good fight; he'd had to take Tracey to the fucking dance afterwards though with his nose all taped up. Billy didn't say anything.

“And when we saw that guy driving her around and it turned out to be her uncle?”

That'd been less of a good fight. “So fuckin' what?”

“Well, you can't beat up Nancy,” Maxine informed him all smart-like.

“No shit.” Billy glared out at the court again.

Max looked at him with a third womanly gaze; she narrowed her eyes again. “Okay. Okay, I'm going to take care of this for you,” she decided with finality.

“No, I don't need you to do shit for me.”

“Okay Bill!” Max said brightly. She clapped him hard on the shoulder and bounced off. Jesus Christ.

Coach let him play during the last quarter; Billy was still in a big sulk and only got two throws. After the game ended he went and showered for a long time in the locker room to try and calm himself down; he _was_ a huge infant with territory issues he guessed. Goddamnit.

He glared at himself in the mirror. He asked himself why it mattered; he knew Steve just wanted to hook up with him. It's not like he was Harrington's fucking boyfriend or whatever. It didn't matter.

When he came back into the hallway the creepy kids were still waiting for him with Steve; Billy'd kinda thought maybe they'd have left. Will and Sinclair were leaning against some lockers and Henderson was sitting Indian-style on the floor like a lazy fuck. Maxine was chewing about a pound of bubble gum now and the sleeve of her yellow sweatshirt was all wet.

“What happened to you?” Billy asked her.

Max beamed and showed him the whole wad of gum in her mouth; Lucas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Max spilled her whole soda on Nancy Wheeler, I think you guys have the same brain issues.”

“It was _just_ a Sprite, Lucas!” Max yapped at a level three. “I tripped!”

“She did not trip, she did it in like slow motion, I saw her eyes zero in,” Steve said. He was wearing his puffy vest again and he looked cute as shit again; Billy cursed his whole life. “Am I a really bad person for finding it kind of hilarious?”

“I think it's great that you've found another emotion aside from pathetic misery, you've really come far this year,” Henderson yapped from the floor in support.

“Thanks, shithead,” Steve said.

They went and got food because Max and Billy hadn't gotten any dinner yet. Billy didn't think he was acting like a huge prick but Steve was giving him some kinda weird look anyway. Max looked happy talkin' on and on to Sinclair and Byers even with her sweatshirt all wet; Henderson'd taken off with two burgers and booked it in two minutes to go feel his girl up again.

“Do you think any of that food's even going to make it to Rebecca's?” Sinclair said. They looked out the window and watched Dustin shoveling a burger into his mouth as he tried to balance everything on his bike.

Billy laughed even though he didn't really feel like laughing; Lucas smiled at him. He and Max continued on with their _Love Story_ shit. They'd missed each other soooo much during lunch; it was truly unbearable. Wills was making a great face.

“Hey, I heard your Orion song on the radio today,” Steve told Billy.

“What?” Billy said. He'd been hard at work trying to steal one of Maxine's chicken nuggets. She glanced over and hit his hand, hard. “Ow!” Billy smacked her back.

“That Metallica song, it was on the college radio. Do you like that one?”

“I guess,” Billy said shortly. Max was giving him one of her weird looks now too and Steve was getting the big frown-wrinkle between his eyebrows. Jesus. If only Nancy was there to put her arm around him! Billy scowled and stole the chicken nugget anyway.

“STOP EATING MY FOOD, YOU TOADSTOOL!” Max yelled.

“I'm payin' for it,” Billy pointed out.

Max rolled her eyes at him and made a big gremlin face with nothing to say. Billy took some of her fries too. “BILLY! STOP!”

“You can have some of mine,” Will told him like a sweet gay Beatle; truly he was the only one of the creepy kids worth a damn aside from Elijane.

It took the baby brat pack forever to eat their food even with Billy stealing it and at a quarter to nine Jonathan Byers drove up in his shithole car to collect his brother. Nancy wasn't with him. Billy glared at the car as Will counted out his money. “Bye Billy,” he said.

“Later,” Billy said in a big sulk.

Max and Sinclair took a moment to stop makin' cow eyes at each other. “Can I get a ride with you?” Lucas asked Will.

“Sure!” Max and Lucas took eighty more years doin' their _Love Story_ shit and saying bye.

“Is your dad still on the outs?” Steve asked them as they were finally paying and getting ready to go.

“Yeah, he's at that motel still,” Max said. She was leaned on the counter ordering a milkshake to-go. She hadn't even asked Billy if she could or if he'd wanted one; she was truly impossible. “Actually I think Mom said he's on the road this week anyway.”

“Okay. So can I come over and hang out with you guys?”

Max narrowed her eyes and considered him all dramatically. She pushed up her sweater sleeves. “Hmm. What do you think?” she asked Billy.

“If you want,” Billy said.

They got back to the house; Susan was waiting on the couch again clutching her robe and making a big point of looking at her watch.

“Mom, come on, it's nine-fifteen!” Max yapped. “It's Friday night!”

“I'm aware of the time and date, thank you,” Susan said; Maxine scowled. They did that weird thing that girls did where they had a whole conversation with their eyes. Steve and Billy watched them in slight terror.

Susan folded first. “Fine, all right,” she said after a thirty-second staredown. “Hi, Steve. I'm going to my room, please don't make too much noise.”

“You ain't gonna say hi to me, Sue?” Billy asked in a big sulk.

Susan gave him a look that said he was amusing her; like usual Billy felt so glad everyone thought he was hilarious. “Hi, Billy. Goodnight, Billy.”

Max flopped down on the couch once more and took over the TV; she hesitated over _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ but decided to take pity on Steve. She clicked past it.

They watched MTV for a while. Cheap Trick came on playing a live video of 'I Want You To Want Me' and The Vapors sang 'Turning Japanese.'

Max jumped up and went to get them sodas; she gave Steve a big glare but he didn't say anything about them only havin' store brand. Max sat back down.

“Objectively, do you think Bret Michaels is cute?” she asked him; Poison was on singing 'Talk Dirty To Me.' Billy sighed in his head for a thousand years.

Steve gave her a big weird look. “Uh, do you think he's cute?”

“I don't like guys with long hair,” Max said all snooty. “Do you?” Steve just stared at her. By now Billy'd thought about sixty-four ways to kill her on the spot; he was so creative.

They watched the TV for a while; at quarter after eleven Max took the phone and went past them into her room. She pushed at Billy's shoulder which either meant _goodnight_ or _make a move_ ; Billy rolled his eyes.

Steve was looking at him. “What?” Billy said.

“Nothing, I guess.”

“Can't hook up in here,” Billy told him. He could already hear the low murmur of Max yapping away to whoever it was on the phone; it'd be way worse in his room.

Steve rolled his eyes too. “That's okay, I don't want to do that tonight, I feel like talkin',” he informed him; Billy sighed internally for another thousand years.

“Okay, what you wanna talk about?”

“Can I ask you a question without you flipping the fuck out on me?”

“Depends.”

Steve ignored him being an asshole. “Actually, can I ask two questions?”

“That counts as one,” Billy said.

“Whatever. Can we go out on your roof again?”

Steve was a weird person; Billy felt this in his heart. It was about forty degrees out. “If you want,” he said.

They went outside to the back of the house; Steve didn't need a hand up this time. His stupid puffy vest made a stupid noise against the shingles on the roof; Billy felt annoyed. They sat out there for a couple minutes, not really talking. Billy lit up a cigarette and laid on his back too. He looked up at the sky; you could see all of Orion tonight.

Steve was still looking at him. “Can I ask you my questions now?” he asked.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Okay, so I've been using my context clues and thinkin' real hard,” Steve told him; Billy tried his best not to smile. “Does – okay, seriously, does Max know I have a thing for you?”

Billy finally turned and looked at him. He thought about Maxine yapping away that Steve was so stupid; Billy didn't think that but truly sometimes Harrington made him worry. Once again he thought how he didn't like lyin' to both him and Maxine. “No, shithead, she knows _I_ have a thing for you.”

Steve stared at him. “Wait, are you serious?” he said blankly. “You – did you tell her that?”

Billy took a drag off his cigarette. “She just knew.”

“Oh. Okay.” Steve kept staring at him; he had that kinda blank shell-shocked look again. “I ... how long has she known that?”

“Is that your second question?”

“No, I, I have new ones now,” Steve told him.

“Okay.” Billy already felt like a huge dumb asshole; Steve was good at making him feel like that it seemed. He didn't know why Harrington was so surprised. He muttered, “You 'member back in January when she was all pissed off at the diner sayin' you had other options?”

“Shut up,” Steve said still in his shell-shocked voice. “Wait, so she – ? Jesus. I thought she had a fuckin' crush on me or something.”

“Nope. Was me.”

“Oh my god,” Steve said. Then he started laughing. “Bill, do you have a crush on me?” he asked. “That's so embarrassing.”

“SCREW YOU!” Billy said; he hit Steve real hard in the arm.

“OW!” Steve said. “You can't hit me anymore, asshole!” He was still laughing at Billy which was so great. He laughed some more. Then he said, “I just, okay, wow. So – oh god, at Christmas when she asked if I thought you looked good in your sweater?”

Billy rubbed at his mouth. “She's real subtle, ain't she?”

“Holy shit. She's so – she is like your little wingman, Bills,” Steve told him in delight.

“Don't say that shit,” Billy begged; Steve laughed and laughed.

“You did look good in that sweater,” he told Billy finally.

“Thanks, you still looked like Freddy Krueger.”

“Oh my god, thanks,” Steve said. Billy looked at the curve of his smile and wanted to kiss him; didn't know if he should. “So is she gonna tell everyone?”

“Hope not,” Billy said. He sure as shit wasn't going to tell Harrington that they'd bet on him like a piece of meat. Over Metallica tickets? He could hear eight years of outrage; he'd be about twenty-six by the time Harrington stopped bitching him out and he'd _definitely_ never get laid then. “She's been okay.”

“Okay,” Steve said. He was quiet for a moment. “So is that why she – look, are you mad that I was talkin' to Nancy?”

“No,” Billy lied in two seconds.

“She just came over for like five minutes, am I not supposed to talk to her at all?”

“I don't care who you talk to,” Billy lied some more.

“Right, you're obviously mad at me, I didn't even do anything for once,” Steve told him.

“I ain't mad,” Billy said, mad. He scowled up at the sky.

“Yeah you are, you do this thing when you're PO'd, you look like a goddamn kid and you start saying about two words at once.”

“No I don't,” said Billy; that was three right there.

“So … you're not mad,” Steve said slowly. Billy looked over at him; Steve raised one eyebrow up which usually was hot as hell but right now was annoying. Billy looked away again.

“Nope.”

“Got yourself benched for fun?”

“Was bound to happen.” That was four words.

Steve sounded amused which was so great. “Bill, do you think I still like her?”

“I don't know,” Billy said like a sulky bitch. “Cried about her to me for six fuckin' months.”

“Okay, it wasn't that long,” Steve said; Billy didn't answer him. “And I didn't cry, I had allergies in November.”

“Can do what you want.” That was five whole words.

“I don't want her,” Steve told him.

“Okay.”

“Hey,” Steve said. He rolled his head to the side and stared at Billy, then he reached out and grabbed his wrist. It was real quiet and cold; Billy could see the steam their breath was making in the damp air. “I'm serious. I don't care about Nancy.”

Billy swallowed; he couldn't move. He felt his throat click. “Okay,” he said again.

Steve kept looking at him. He could feel Steve's thumb skating across his pulse point. “Jesus, you're fucking stupid.”

“Yeah, you make me that way,” Billy said.

“Whatever.” Steve rolled his eyes; he was smiling a little. He turned his head again and looked at the sky. Billy looked over at him and felt like he'd never look away; Steve was better than the whole goddamn skyline. He was still holding his wrist. “Are you okay now?”

“I think so.”

“You done being pissed at me?”

“I wasn't pissed,” Billy lied.

“Okay,” Steve said. “So listen, I watched this movie this week, I wanna tell you about it.”

Billy cleared his throat and tried to feel normal again. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I look forward to your commentary, it's better than watching TV,” Steve told him like he didn't run his goddamn mouth off during every movie or TV show ever.

“Okay, this was a Lifetime movie then?”

Steve gave him a look; it totally was. “Screw you, man.”

“Bet Susie was watchin' it too,” Billy said; Steve made a great face. “So what happened?”

“Oh my god, you guys would've been so into it. You and Max, not Susan. This was on Tuesday by the way, when you were at work late, Dustin was at Second Ave or whatever I guess so I was all alone – “

“Second Street.”

“Okay, whatever, I don't need to hear about it again, that cute shit is your guys thing.”

Billy was smiling without meaning to; Steve was good at making him do that too. He didn't feel the need to point out that he'd definitely never have any kinda cute shit with Henderson. “What happened in the movie?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“If you're gonna be a fuckin' prude and not hook up with me on my goddamn roof, then yeah, let me 'bout the movie.”

“Okay, I didn't know that was an option,” Steve said; he didn't even get pissed off about the prude comment. “So it was like a horror movie, it was made-for-tv so I could handle it.”

“Could you?” Billy asked him.

“I mean, mostly.”

“Bet you missed me, did you want me to hold you hand?” Or your dick, hahaha.

“I did miss you, can I talk for two seconds?” Steve asked him.

“I ain't stopping you.”

“Okay, so it's all these high school kids, it's Halloween, someone's great-aunt's a witch – “

“Jesus, that shit's so common nowadays.”

Steve laughed. “Wait til I tell you about the resurrected cheerleader from the 1950s.”

“Was her name Nancy?”

“Screw you, it was Mary actually.”

Steve talked for a while; the resurrected cheerleader ended up saving the day. Then he stopped talking and looked at Billy.

“What?” Billy said.

“Okay, look, you said we can't hook up in your house, what about out here?” Steve asked him.

Billy thought about it. Their neighbors on either side were real far away and there was nothing beyond the back of the house aside from an expanse of field and then the woods. It was pretty secluded and Billy remembered he'd hated that when they'd first moved here.

“Okay,” he said; Steve almost knocked him off the roof. It was pretty cold for March out but Billy thought they did okay warming each other up.

 

* * *

 

Billy made breakfast in the morning out on cloud nine; he had the radio on and Tom Petty was playing again singing 'Don't Do Me Like That.' That wasn't a song he'd sung to Tracey and he probably wouldn't be singing it to Steve, either – Harrington could do him any way he liked. Haha!!!!

He wasn't really sure how he could be up on cloud nine with a huge case of blue balls but he wasn't really gonna question it. He and Steve had just made out last night again but Steve'd said _I don't want her_ and he'd also said shit like _Oh god_ and _You're so hot_ so Billy was pretty feeling pretty good even though like usual he hadn't gotten off or anything. Jesus he wondered if he was havin’ an actual emotion or something; Maxine would know. He felt so charitable he even left the last of the orange juice for her and her moms.

Max shuffled into the kitchen at a little past ten with her hair all stickin' up in the back. She was wearing her huge old Wham! t-shirt and no pants; Billy tried not to shriek.

Max stared at him. “What's on your chest?” she asked.

“What?” Billy looked down at himself; he hadn't been thinking. His t-shirt had a big rip across the front and you could see the start of a purple mark on his collarbone. He had a couple more love bites going down his chest that were hidden from view, one on his shoulder. “Guess a bruise from the game,” he lied offhandedly.

“Oh. That sucks.” Max flopped down at the table; Billy couldn't believe she'd bought it. He guessed it was still too early for her. “It looks like a leech or something. Why were you doing banging around on the roof at 1 am, you woke me up twice.”

“I, ah … slipped,” Billy told her. Max just stared at him again. “Do you want a pancake?” he asked her real nice to switch topics.

“Okay,” Max said after a moment. Holy god she was stupid in the mornings; Billy laughed in his head. “Can you make me coffee?”

Jesus she was already starting her shit makin' him do everything for her, too. Billy didn't mind doing it from out on cloud nine though. “Yeah I'll make you coffee.”

“Do we have bacon?”

They did. “You gotta make that, I can't eat that shit,” Billy told her; he was definitely watchin' his figure. Hahaha.

Max moaned like he was killing her. “You're the worst,” she told him like an ungrateful bitch. They ate their breakfast and then Max continued on with her bitchy act tryin' to hustle him over to the Wheeler's.

“I gotta shower first, I gotta shave my face,” Billy told her.

“Why? You'll just look like a homeless person again in two hours.” Billy thumped her on the head; Max cackled. She was so hilarious.

Billy showered and got dressed; he shaved his face real nice for Harrington even though it's not like they could do shit at the Wheelers'. When he went back into his room Max was in there going through his dresser. Seriously Billy was gonna have to plant some dirty shit for her to find or something so she'd stop thinkin' she could go through his stuff all the time. “Man, what the fuck you doin'? What if I came in here naked or some shit?” he asked her.

“YOU TROLL, why would you walk through the hall naked?”

Billy laughed at her; Maxine looked at him critically. “Ugh, is that what you're wearing?” she asked like a snooty poodle.

“What?” Billy looked down at himself; he had on his usual Garbage Pail Kid jeans and his Def Leppard shirt.

“You had that shirt on like three times this week, it's dirty.”

“No it ain't,” Billy lied. It wasn't really a lie; it didn't smell or nothin'. He usually got changed before he went to work.

“You're such a caveman. Don't you want to look nice for Steve?” Max yapped. Billy was pretty sure she'd asked him that shit about eighty times so far and then he always ended up just wearin' some band t-shirt out to wherever they was going. Apparently Steve liked it!!! Haha!

Billy laughed in his head again for a few seconds and then composed himself. “I always look nice.” Max rolled her eyes and continued going through his dresser. Billy flopped down on his bed. “You ain't my stylist.”

“You _need_ one.” She pestered him for a while and threw some t-shirts at him; he ended up wearing his _Rock in Rio 84_ shirt anyway that was blue and tie-dye (“Don't fuckin' look at me!” Billy yelled; Max rolled her eyes and made a huge production of turning around and covering her eyes while he changed his shirt).

“I look like a fuckin' faggot from the sixties,” Billy said.

Maxine smirked at him in his mirror. “How oddly appropriate. AHHHH!” she screamed when Billy rabbit-punched her twice. “MO-OM! BILLY'S HITTING ME! You were born in the sixties, douchebag!”

She flounced off to the bathroom to kill him spending eighty years getting ready. Billy laid out on the couch and talked to Susan for a while; it was past eleven now and she'd finally gotten up.

Susan told him that she might finally be getting a raise at her job – “About time,” Billy said. Susan looked tired and a little nervous like usual and Billy could see what they were doing. Susan would talk about anything together with Max and him as long as it wasn't about Billy's old man; they'd been dancing around him for a while now. Neil'd been calling her about every night this week, Max had told Billy. Susan'd take the phone into her room and Billy knew his old man was workin' her over.

They weren't talking about that though. “Thanks for taking Max out to see her friends,” Susan said.

“They ain't that bad,” Billy lied. He was lyin' a lot this morning; the kids totally were that bad. He thought about it. Five hours of Wheeler Jr's ugly, ugly face. Also five hours of Steve's pretty, pretty face though so it was okay.

Maxine was coming out of the hallway with her hair all wet. “Who's not that bad?” she asked. She jumped close to the couch like a crazy person and sprayed Billy with his cologne.

“AUGH!” Billy said. “Quit sprayin' me! You go in my goddamn room again?”

“It's called hygiene, Billy!” Max sprayed him again. Jesus God.

“Thought my cologne was cheap.” Billy swatted her.

“Dustin said that, not me.”

“Max! Leave him alone!” said her moms.

“You see the shit she does to me, Sue?” Billy asked mournfully. Max sprayed him a final time; Billy swatted her again. “MAXINE!”

“MOM! BILLY'S HITTING ME!”

“Oh, my god,” Susan said; she looked happy they were getting' ready to go.

At the Wheelers' all the creepy kids were there aside from Elijane and Billy tried not to feel disappointed. Felt like he hadn't seen her or any creepy magic tricks in a million years. Wheeler Jr made a point to tell them that his parents were out all afternoon; he looked happy that Billy couldn't flirt with his moms. He led them downstairs to the basement.

Max thundered off towards Sinclair right away like she'd been away from him for about a century which Billy understood. Steve was on the couch with Wills and they were eating a huge pizza together even though it was barely past noon. Harrington was wearing his best polo and he looked like a Calvin Klein ad or some shit; Billy could dig it.

“Hey Bills,” he said around his six slices of pizza.

“Hey,” Billy said.

“Hi Billy!” Will said around the other six slices; Jesus they were savages.

“Hey,” Billy said.

Wheeler Jr screamed at Steve for a while for eating the whole pizza (“I BOUGHT IT, YOU SHIT!” Steve screamed back). The kids were setting up their dragons game or whatever the fuck it was. Wills was telling Billy that there wasn't going to be an actual dragon in this campaign; Billy didn't know what those words together meant. Henderson kept on yapping and yapping to him too and shoving pieces of paper into his face tryin' to explain the rules to him. Rebecca was sitting beside him with a long-suffering look on her face.

“Kid, I ain't ever gonna play, I don't need to know this shit,” Billy told him.

“Okay, I'd like you to sit in as an observer on this game, you need to learn some techniques if you're ever going to join our adventuring party.” Henderson went on like Billy wasn't even talking; Billy made a terrible face. Adventuring party. Jesus god they were a bunch of geeks. Here he was sitting with them though. The things you'd do for a chance at Steve Harrington's amazing cock.

He ended up sitting on the floor in front of the couch with a view of the TV and of the tabletop at Henderson's insistence. The kids were all spread out everywhere with their dice and their papers; like usual everyone was yammerin' on too much and it was makin' Billy dizzy. Wheeler kept yelling his head off at Max to turn the volume down on the TV and Max'd shoot him a bored expression. Henderson told Billy that Mike was the Dungeon Master; Billy had a coupla things to say in response to that.

Even so he was okay with bein' on the floor and watchin' the TV. Maxine wasn't even playing the game this week and she had _ThunderCats_ on; Wills gave him the last slice of pizza. Steve was muttering some of his dumb shit down at him and his knee kept pressing into Billy's back which was all right.

“THE HELLHOUND APPROACHES YOU FROM THE UNDERSLOPE OF THE RAGGED TERRAIN, ITS FUR CRACKLES WITH FIRE!” Wheeler Jr screamed like an insane person. “YOU STARE INTO ITS EYES AND SEE A REFLECTION OF DESPAIR AND THE DEPTHS OF _YOUR OWN SOUL!_ WHAT DO YOU DO?”

Billy blinked.

“He's good, right?” Steve said; Maxine choked laughing.

“I WISH TO PET THE DOG!” Henderson yelled.

“WHAT? NO, DUMBASS, YOU HAVE TO VANQUISH IT!”

“I'm not going to roll higher than a 12, I want to pet it! Why can't I tame it?”

“Oh my god, Dustin,” Maxine said in disgust without looking up from the TV.

Steve was laughing and standing up; he touched Billy's shoulder for a second. “I gotta pee, I'll be back.”

Henderson looked up from his budding argument with Wheeler. “Steve, can you grab me a soda?”

“Yeah, sure.” Steve looked at Billy. “You want something?”

“I'm good.”

Steve went off upstairs. Billy sat and listened to the kids; it was way boring now without Steve sitting behind him making stupid comments or touchin' him with his knee.

Max was flopped out on the other couch like a corpse. On the TV Lion-O was going up against a picture copy of himself that'd came to life; Billy and Max'd seen this shit about five times since last year. They always seemed to replay the same eight or nine episodes.

“Oh my god, can you just roll so I can have my turn?” Sinclair was bitching at Dustin.

“DON'T RUSH ME!”

“YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!”

“Dusty, just roll, it's fine!” Rebecca was saying. Maxine'd pulled a bag of chips out of nowhere somehow and was crunching away on them like a horror. Her eyebrows went way up at 'Dusty;' she and Billy started grinning.

Billy stood up; there was too many creepy kids screaming. Max looked over at him. “Gonna go smoke.”

“Can you get me a soda too?” she asked him.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” Hopefully if Mrs. Wheeler came home she wouldn't mind him digging through her goddamn fridge like he lived there.

He'd just gotten up the weird narrow basement stairs and was about to turn out of the hallway when Steve appeared out of nowhere and tackled him into a bathroom that he hadn't even known existed.

“SHIT!” Billy said and bounced off the sink. “Oh my god, man, the hell you doing?”

“Sorry.” Steve touched his back where he'd hit the sink; he was smirking like an asshole even though he'd just caused Billy grievous bodily harm. He was still touchin' him though so Billy couldn't be too upset. Steve slid his hands around from Billy's back and over his waist; he pulled Billy towards him by his belt loop. Jesus. “I wanted to see you.”

“Just saw me like five minutes ago.”

“Yeah, that's not the same,” Steve said; he was looking at Billy in that way he had that made his eyes go all dark and Billy knew they were about to kiss. He felt glad Maxine'd made him change his t-shirt.

Steve kicked the door closed with his foot; Billy grabbed him and shoved him back against it. “You're such a piece of shit,” he said. He mashed their mouths together hard.

“Uh-huh,” Steve said; he was already working at untucking Billy's t-shirt from his pants and running his hand low across his stomach. Billy quivered with Steve touching him and murmured into his mouth. Steve slid a hand up his chest; Billy made a sound when Steve tweaked his nipple. “Okay, I'm going to remember that,” Steve told him like he hadn't already discovered the fact that Billy went crazy for that shit last night.

“Fuck you,” Billy said anyway. He pinned Steve against the door again and tried to get ahold of himself. They were so close; he could feel Steve smiling against his mouth all pleased with himself. “What you doing, you lose your mind?”

“Maybe, is it in here?” Steve kissed him some more. Billy could barely breathe; his eyelids fluttered closed.

He pushed him back a little and opened his eyes again – he had fuckin' morals after all even if Harrington was going to go around acting like a crazy loon. “No, we can't do this shit here, I am _not_ hookin' up with you in your fucking ex-girlfriend's house.” He definitely wasn't going to pop a boner in the downstairs bathroom; there was too much lacy shit in here. That was a goddamn lie because he was already hard as a pole. God. Steve Steve Steve.

“Why not? She's not here, seems like something you'd be into.” Steve pulled back and his head thudded against the door; he was giving Billy his best pretty boy doe-eyes let-me-take-you-home look. He fumbled around behind himself for a second and pressed down on the door-lock. “Come on.”

“You're real cute, that shit ain't gonna work on me.”

“Weird, I have it on good authority that there's at least one person around here who thinks I'm _really_ cute,” Steve told him.

“Who, Henderson?”

“Oh my god, fuck you, I'm flaccid for ten years now,” Steve said; Billy started laughing.

Steve kissed him again so Billy pushed him back into the wall. “No, no, we're doing this my way, you wanna screw around with me.” He braced his hands on either side of Steve's shoulders and kissed the side of his mouth; he worked his way down Steve's jaw. He felt Steve's throat click as he swallowed hard. “Marked me the fuck up last night, Max thought I had a fuckin' leech on my shoulder.”

“You do have that hideous birthmark,” Steve said; Billy slammed him into the door again.

“Shut the fuck up – ”

“Ah!” He was laughing. “I can't shut up, I have so much shit to say, can you stop me?”

Jesus Christ. Harrington was going to kill him and he was going to do it sooner rather than later; Billy was sure of it. He shoved Steve into the door again and kissed him hard; he started grinning when Steve moaned and pushed against him.

Billy knocked him back again and leaned in real close. “No, you fuckin' cocktease, don't rub against me.”

“God, you're such a dick,” Steve muttered; he wasn’t really mad. “I'm not teasing you.” He ran his tongue over Billy's lower lip and kissed him real sloppy so Billy pressed him up against the door once again. Steve reached out anyway and grabbed him by the hips. God like usual Harrington just thought he could do whatever he wanted. Like usual Billy was letting him.

“Can you fuckin’ be nice to me?” Steve said into his mouth.

“Dunno how,” Billy said; Steve smiled. Billy dropped his hands down from where he’d been bracing them against the wall and played around with the hem of Harrington’s amazing polo. Goddamn he was so cute; Billy was never gonna get over it.

Steve murmured something that Billy’s brain couldn’t currently process and kept on kissing him. He reached out and curled a hand under Billy’s jaw so that he could tilt his head a little; Billy let him do it. He was gettin’ fuzzy on how many times they’d hooked up now – this was either the fifth or sixth – but Steve was always doing that shit; he was always touching Billy’s face like he was special or something.

He guessed that was Steve’s thing or whatever. Billy knew he wasn’t really special. He was something all right but whatever it was he was pretty sure it wasn’t special. He let Steve hold his face and stroke his thumbs down the sides of his jaw as they kissed for a while, then he pulled away and started biting on Steve’s neck, not hard enough to leave a mark.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Steve said. He slid his hand into Billy's back pocket so Billy went crazy kissing him again. He forgot what he'd said about not hooking up at the Wheeler's; actually they was totally already hooking up anyway. He started rubbing his hand down the front of Harrington's jeans. “Ohgod,” Steve said when Billy found his amazing hard-on.

Steve talked too much; Billy was going to lose his damn mind. He kissed Steve with more force and rubbed his hand against Steve's cock through his jeans. “Mmf,” Steve said against his mouth. He was pulling Billy's hair hard like a rude bitch; he grabbed Billy's ass again. “Ah, Bill.”

The last thread of Billy's sanity snapped; he sank down to his knees and started undoing Steve's belt. “Oh, damn,” Steve said faintly like a little dork; hell yeah that was Billy's little dork. He put both hands in Billy's hair.

Billy got the belt open. He didn't hesitate; had thought about doing this before. “You want me?” he asked.

“I — god, yeah,” Steve said in a tight voice. He gripped Billy’s shoulder.

“Gotta tell me.” He unzipped Steve's fly and got his jeans down past his hips; Steve's briefs were grey and the swell of his cock looked truly incredible. Holy shit. Where was Maxine’s Polaroid when you needed it. Billy mouthed at him through his underwear.

“FUCK,” said Steve. His hand tightened painfully in Billy's hair; Billy was into it.

He scraped at the curve of Steve's hip with his teeth. “Gotta tell me,” he said again; he was all about enthusiastic consent.

“Ah, god,” Steve groaned out. He was about humping Billy's face; it was so amazing. “Yeah, I – want you. I want you. Billy.”

Honestly Billy'd always thought he'd had a pretty stupid name. Every asshole in every shitty movie or TV show was named Billy; usually they fuckin' died too. All it took was Steve saying it with his dick in Billy's face for him to realize it was about the greatest name of all time.

He pulled Steve's briefs down a little; his huge dick almost hit Billy in the face. “Holy shit, man,” Billy said. He felt like crazy person; Steve made him crazy. He wrapped his hand around Steve's cock. Jesus. The tip of his dick was a pretty red just like his mouth; Billy wondered how you could hide such a huge amazing dick in a little pair of jeans.

He licked the head of Steve's cock; “ – _uhhhmygod,_ ” Steve said. “Oh fuck. Damn. Oh my god.” Hahahaha. Billy swirled his tongue around the tip of it and took a couple inches into his mouth. “FUCK,” Steve said again.

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up, man,” Billy mumbled around his cock. His cock. Steve's cock. In Billy's mouth. Okay okay. It was totally crazy.

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, oh fuck. Oh my god, Bill,” Steve was yammering out; Jesus he was a talker. Billy could dig it, maybe not in the Wheelers' lacy purple bathroom though. Okay probably. Okay that was happening. Fucking Christ.

Billy wasn't really sure what to do. He'd gotten blown a lot, of course, but not for a while, and it wasn't like he'd ever done it before. He didn't know what Steve liked. He pumped him in his hand a couple times; he touched Steve's balls through his underwear. “Ohhh my god,” Steve said again; Billy guessed that meant he was into it.

He didn't really know what to do. He was so fuckin' turned on and like usual Steve hadn't even touched him; Jesus Christ he wanted him so bad. Steve's huge cock was right in his face and holy god Billy wanted him. He was on his knees in a fuckin' purple bathroom with a tie-dye shirt on and a guy's dick in his face, Steve's dick in his face and in his mouth and holy god Billy wanted him.

In his head Billy could hear his dad telling him what a fucking faggot he was; he'd always known. Jesus Christ his dad would kill him in two seconds if he knew Billy'd ever even thought about touching a guy like this, touching a guy at all. For a second he could actually _feel_ his old man knocking him the fuck around and he was pretty sure he was actually going crazy; the whole room started spinning for a second. Then it just turned into Steve touching him and Steve pettin' his hair because that was what was happening too.

Billy didn't need to think about his fuckin' dad right now. Steve was right here and Billy'd wanted him for so long; he'd wasted so much time actin' like he hadn't wanted him. He ran his tongue over the head of Steve's cock again and then just took the whole thing into his mouth.

“OHHHFUCKHOLYSHIT,” Steve moaned out like a crazy person; he thrust out too hard and Billy gagged on his dick. He grabbed Steve by the hips and slammed him back against the door as a warning. “Ahhhfuck,” Steve said. He had one hand on the back of Billy's neck and he was gripping his hair really hard. “Oh god, sorry, sorry.”

Billy didn't say anything; he was bobbing up and down on Steve's dick. Felt fucking weird when it hit the back of his throat. It wasn't bad like he'd kinda worried it would be. Holy shit he couldn't believe he could take nearly all of Steve's huge amazing dick in his mouth. He guessed it turned out he didn't have too much of a gag reflex; he wondered which of his parents he had to thank for that useful fucking gene. Probably his old man, fucking asshole. “ – _hahahah_ – “ Billy choked out around Steve's amazing dick.

“Oh my god, Bill,” Steve was saying. Like usual he was a goddamn chatterbox. Actually he was kinda whimpering and Billy's own cock twitched fucking painfully in his jeans. “Uhhh my god how are you doing that – “

Billy didn't answer him; he was kinda busy. He'd thought about this a lot, if he could get Harrington off like this. How he'd do it. How Steve'd feel, how his dick would feel in Billy's mouth. Everything was kinda spinning and he couldn't remember all the stuff he'd thought of doing.

Really Steve was so fucking amazing up close. It was corny to think it. He had a little beauty mark on his hip that Billy'd just discovered; he decided it was his fourth favorite one. He wrapped one hand around the curve of Steve's hip and put his thumb on the amazing beauty mark. He drew back for a second and let Steve's dick slide out of his mouth. It really did hit him in the face this time; Billy was kinda into it.

Steve was panting; he still had his hand on the back of Billy's neck but he was touching him real light like he was special again or something. He murmured Billy's name and ran his hand through his hair.

Billy wasn't really sure if he could look up at Steve right now; it was safer not to look up at him. He still half-couldn't believe what he was doing. He focused back in on Steve's huge life-changing cock. He wrapped his hand around it again and stroked down the length of him; Steve moaned when Billy touched him like he couldn't help it and it kinda made Billy want to moan too.

The head of Steve's cock was real thick and it was all shiny and wet from Billy fuckin' drooling all over him; it was kind of pretty in a way. Mind you 'pretty' wasn't really a word Billy'd ever thought he'd use about another guy's dick but he guessed 1987 was a new queer year and all. He took Steve back into his mouth; wanted him so bad. Steve stopped using his words and started moaning his head off again.

Billy was trying to tell himself not to go crazy; he was pretty sure he was going to go fucking crazy on the Wheelers' bathroom floor with Steve's huge dick in his mouth and his own hard-on bulging against his jeans and fuckin' hurting him. He took his hand off of the amazing freckle on Steve's hip and pressed his palm down against himself, then he groaned against Steve's dick and stopped that shit because okay he was gonna fucking come in his pants in two seconds like a kid. Jesus Christ. Didn't think he'd ever been so worked up before.

“Oh, my god, Bill,” Steve was groaning out again like a crazy person; it was so smart to be yellin' out a guy's name when you were getting blown in a bathroom with a buncha kids about ten feet below you in the basement. He was pawing at Billy's shoulders and trying to pull him up. “C'mere, come here – “

Billy slid off of Steve's dick again. He watched a long line of spit tremble between his mouth and the head of Steve's cock and finally break; Steve made some kinda sound. He dragged Billy up and kissed him real sloppy and Billy moaned into his mouth when Steve's tongue slicked against his. There was spit and drool everywhere and Steve bit Billy's lip too hard; it was the real romantic shit. “God, you're so hot,” Steve mumbled. Billy groaned again and wrapped his hand around Steve's dick to start jerkin' him off some more. Steve said, “Oh, fuck,” and fumbled around between them; he rubbed at Billy through his jeans and Billy's eyes actually rolled back in his head.

They kissed for a couple seconds; Billy's lips felt weirdly numb and he couldn't really think about anything aside from Steve's hand rubbing on his cock. He was pretty sure he was makin' a bunch of great sounds of his own.

The room was too hot and he was so dizzy. He thrust hard against Steve; he felt like he gonna come in two seconds again and he couldn't have that so he sank back down onto his knees and took Steve's dick back into his mouth.

“Oh fuck, oh my god,” Steve said in that weird tight voice. He grabbed a fistful of Billy's hair and jammed his face against his cock and fucking choked him; Billy gagged and saw stars for a couple seconds. He slammed Steve back against the door again. Steve's cock popped out of Billy's mouth and he went after it. He was tryin' hard not to nick him with his teeth but at this point he wasn't really sure what he was doing anymore. He swirled his tongue around the head of Steve's dick; he could feel the ridges on the underside of it. Steve's whole cock twitched in mouth and Billy groaned.

“Fuck – god – “ Steve's cock twitched again and his knees actually buckled; Billy grabbed him by the hips and pinned him in place. Steve slammed his cock into his mouth again and Billy couldn't breathe for a second. “Fuck – fuck – okay you gotta stop – “ Steve yelped out like he wasn't fuckin' choking him with his huge dick. “Uhhhmygod, I – “ He yanked Billy's hair really hard and came. Billy choked and swallowed most of it: it was kinda salty and his whole face was fucking numb like he'd done a pound of coke. He pulled back a couple inches and pumped his hand around Steve real hard until he was moaning and shaking.

“God, I – okay, okay – “ Steve was pushing him back a little. Probably it was too much. Geez Billy was way too enthusiastic; wished he coulda done it for longer. “Sorry, sorry – I just – “ Billy slid off his dick and looked up finally; Steve stared back down at him and Billy wondered what he was seeing.

Harrington looked totally wrecked; his chest was heaving and his mouth was open and he was staring at Billy with one of his dazed expressions. Billy almost fuckin' creamed his jeans just looking at him.

Steve took his hand out Billy's hair and tugged at his shoulder so Billy stood up again. His fucking knees hurt from kneeling on the floor so much and his heart was thumping in his chest. Steve grabbed him and kissed him and Billy felt so surprised; wondered if Steve could taste his come in Billy's mouth. “Oh my god, you're a fucking mess,” Steve said. He was holding Billy's jaw again; Billy couldn't get away if he tried.

“Uhhh,” he mumbled against Steve's mouth. He was pressed so tight against him and he felt like he'd die if Steve pushed him away; he was so turned on he could barely move.

“Okay, okay, yeah,” Steve soothed him. Billy shuddered and pressed his face against Steve's neck; Steve tangled his hand in Billy's hair again. He was pawing at the front of Billy's jeans with his other hand and Billy felt the loss of his last brain cell as it flew right out his ear. He put his hand over Steve's wrist and helped him get his jeans unzipped. “Oh my god,” Steve said once he'd gotten into Billy's boxers. He wrapped his hand around Billy's cock; Billy rubbed his face against Steve's neck and bit down on his three favorite freckles. “Oh god, you're so – “

Everything was spinning and it was too fast; Billy didn't even have time to think about the fact that Steve was actually finally touching him. He was so hard and Steve's hand was so big; holy shit maybe the Violent Femmes song had been about a guy after all. Billy was going to go fucking crazy and die right here.

He bit Steve's neck again so that he wouldn't moan. Steve said, “Ah god, okay – “

He was touching him so lightly; Billy couldn't take it. He bucked against Steve's hand without meaning too. He couldn't feel anything but his fuckin' hand. He was pretty sure he was still biting him. God.

Steve stroked his cock a couple of times. It wasn't enough and it was way too much; Billy was shaking. Steve twisted his wrist and said in a breathless voice, “Harder?”

“Mmm – ” Billy said against his neck.

“Yeah, okay, I got you,” Steve said; he tightened his grip. Jesus. Jesus. Steve said, “Okay, I don't really know what to – “ and Billy came all over him in about four seconds like a kid. His whole body shook with it. Steve said, “Oh,” in a weird low voice; he was rubbing his thumb over the tip of Billy's cock and smearing his come everywhere and that made Billy come even harder. He made a great sound that he really hoped Steve wouldn't remember later.

Finally after about a billion years he stopped coming; he kinda felt like a rag doll and the back of his throat hurt. He kept his head buried against Steve's shoulder. Steve had his hand in Billy's hair and he was stroking down his neck real slow. His other hand was still on Billy's cock; he slid away after another couple seconds and wiped his hand on his jeans.

Steve tangled his fingers in Billy's hair and pulled him back a little so that he could kiss him some more. Billy slipped his hands back under the amazing polo and kissed him back; he was so dizzy. He couldn't believe Steve'd got off already and still wanted to kiss him.

“Uh – so I – was that okay?” he asked Billy like Billy hadn't been dying for forever waiting for Steve to touch him.

Billy put his head back against Steve's shoulder. He felt real sweaty. “Yeah, was good,” he said.

“Okay. All ten seconds of it was good?” Steve asked him. He was teasing him and he was probably grinning; Billy could tell without looking at him. He bit Steve's neck again. “Ow! Leave me alone!” Steve said like a dramatic bitch; Jesus Christ hell yeah that was Billy's dramatic bitch. Holy shit.

Steve grumbled for a moment more; he had his arm wound around Billy's back and was still petting his hair. Billy was about to fall over it felt so nice. No one'd touched him like that in a long time, not really. He pressed his face into Steve's neck again. “So I just, uh, I didn't know, I mean, I never,” Steve told him eloquently. “I never, yeah, I never did that before, I – ”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Steve stopped petting him for a second; he sounded surprised. “You – wait, really?”

“Why you think I'm some kinda slut?” Billy asked his shoulder.

“Oh my god, I don't.” Steve was laughing at him which was so rude to do to someone who'd just had your whole dick in their mouth.

“Told you I wasn't hookin' up with nobody else.”

“Okay, I just thought you'd – like, maybe back in Cali or something – “

Billy felt like a sulky bitch; Steve thought so little of him. “What, you think I cheated on my fuckin' girlfriend?”

“ _No,_ I just – “

“I don't do that shit,” Billy told him severely. He bit his neck again for good measure; he was gettin' all three of his favorite freckles.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry.” For some reason he sounded like Billy was being funny. Billy huffed into his neck. “So you never, with – okay, so what happened?”

“What you mean what happened? Came here 'n saw you,” Billy told him.

“Oh my god, all right.” Steve still sounded like he was being funny. “I just – “

Someone started knocking on the door real loud and they both jumped. “STEVE?” the mystery person yapped; it sounded like Henderson. Billy pulled back a little. Steve's eyes were about bugged out of his head. “STEVE, ARE YOU IN HERE?”

Henderson rattled at the doorknob to no avail; Jesus Christ Billy'd never been more grateful for a locked door in his life. He buried his head back against Steve's neck and Steve sagged against the doorframe. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” he yelled like a crazy person.

“Uh, are you okay, you've been in here for like twenty minutes,” Henderson lisped helpfully.

“YEAH, I'M AWARE OF THAT,” Steve yelled still like a crazy person. Billy wondered if he was one of those weird people that got real hyped up after sex; he thought that could be real fun.

“What are you doing? I was waiting for my soda!” Henderson yapped. He was still rattling the doorknob.

“Oh, my god, Dustin, GO AWAY!”

“Hey, hey, look, I know it's hard for you to be at Nancy's house, are you in here crying about her again?” Henderson asked.

“ _Hrrrrnnngh,_ ” Billy muttered like a jealous gorilla into Steve's shoulder. Steve slugged him hard in the back; Billy bit his neck again. “That your allergies too?” he whispered as quietly as possible.

“SHUT UP!” Steve said, possibly to him or to Dustin or both. “Oh my god, I wasn't crying, you asshole!”

“Okay, sure, sure, buddy,” Henderson lisped in what Billy guessed he thought was a reassuring tone. He knocked on the door some more; he was the most annoying troll on the planet. “Steve! Are you okay? I'm just checking you!”

“Yeah, sure, I'm fine, I uh – “ Billy could feel Steve shifting about – “uh I, I don't really feel too good, I just need a minute to – ”

“Oh my god, are you having bathroom issues again?” Henderson demanded; Steve punched Billy in the back again before he could start laughing.

“NO, I'M NOT HAVING BATHROOM ISSUES, JESUS!”

“Hey, is this like at my house when you ate all those burritos from that place on Broad Street?” Henderson asked. Billy gasped in delight. “My mom still talks about what you did in our bathroom, she has this like whole speech she does – ”

“ – _hahahahahahahaha_ – “ Billy said into Steve's neck as quietly as possible; Steve started beating him on the shoulder, _hard_. Truly he was abusive; Billy should have expected this.

“NO IT'S NOT LIKE AT YOUR HOUSE, LEAVE ME ALONE, ASSHOLE.”

“Oh my god! Steve! You don't need to curse at me! Hey, have you seen Billy?”

“Uhhhhh,” Steve said inanely. Billy started mouthing at his neck again; Steve swatted him. “Uhhh. No, I – why would I know where – “

“He went out to smoke like twenty minutes ago, do you think he left? Will's about to roll, I need him to see – “

“I don't know where the fuck he is, leave me alone, oh my god!” Steve begged. He'd grabbed Billy's face and finally pulled him away from his neck; he was glaring at him like a den dad. Billy did Steve’s jeans back up for him and gave him his sweetest smile.

“WOW, WHY ARE YOU BEING AN ASSHOLE TO ME?” Henderson yapped. Jesus just the sound of his voice was making Billy's dick eternally soft; he was so glad Henderson had had good timing for once.

“I'M _NOT!_ ” Steve yelled back; he looked really overwhelmed. He gave Billy a final warning glare and let his face go. Billy backed up against the sink and put his own dick back into his pants; Steve stared at him and then rolled his eyes and made a great face when Dustin started knocking again. “Oh my god! Look, I – sorry, uh, my head really hurts, I just need to be alone for a couple minutes!”

“What, again?” Henderson said; he wasn't leavin'. Steve sighed and thumped his head against the door twice. “Are you still having those headaches? Did you call that doctor my mom told you about?”

Steve looked like an animal in a cage. “No, I didn't call him, leave me alone, okay?”

“Okay but he's highly recommended! Do you want me to get you some Advil? Steve? STEVE!”

“Dustin! I'm SERIOUSLY FINE! GO AWAY!” Steve made a sound like a tea kettle going off.

“Okay … “ Henderson said fadingly through the door. “Let me know if you see Billy, okay?”

“Yeah, I'm, I'm sure he's around somewhere,” Steve said in a strangled tone; Billy tried not to grin.

Henderson finally left. Steve stayed awkwardly leaned against the door for a couple seconds. He had some of Billy's come on the bottom hem of his shirt; he stared at it with a weird expression and wiped it off.

“Okay,” he said softly to himself; Billy was pretty sure he was about to freak out. “Okay. So, yeah, I think – “

“Why ain't you tell me you was having headaches?” Billy asked him.

“What?” Steve glanced over at him blankly. “Oh, I – that's nothing, it's from my contacts or something. I wore them for like three days straight, apparently you are not supposed to do that.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it's fine,” Steve said dismissively; he still seemed a little dazed. “Uh, I – I don't know – can't believe we did that.”

“Yeah, you started it with me,” Billy pointed out. Actually he was pretty sure he'd it started with Harrington way back last year. Jesus.

“I guess I did.” Steve looked a little pleased with himself because he was a crazy person. Then his smile faded and he just looked a little uncertain again. He was just standing there leaning up against the door and looking at Billy.

Now that they wasn't having a moment anymore Billy didn't really know what to say or how to feel. “Guess you should go back out there,” he said finally.

“Yeah,” Steve said like the thought hadn't occurred to him. “Right. Uh, okay. Yeah.” He pushed himself up off the door finally and came over to the counter; he knocked Billy out of the way a little and looked at their reflections. “Okay,” he said again faintly.

Billy watched him turn the faucet on and wash his hands. Steve made a great face in the mirror. No big deal, just washin’ your friend’s jizz off your hands, Billy imagined him thinking. He kinda felt like he was gonna freak out too.

Steve fucked around with his hair for a moment; it'd gotten all screwed up even though Billy didn't remember grabbin' it. He made another face. “Jesus. Do I look okay?”

“Yeah, you always look good, man,” Billy told him. Steve turned his head and stared at him. Billy didn't know why he was lookin'. One corner of Steve's mouth ticked up in a smile; goddamn Billy loved that smile. He went crazy and leaned in and kissed him again. He didn't even think, just leaned over and did it. Steve kissed him back so maybe he still wasn't about to have a gay panic. Billy pressed him against the counter.

He got control of himself; Henderson was gonna bust back in here with a fuckin' axe like he was in _The Shining_ or something in about another minute. He kissed Steve again and then pushed him away. His mouth was tired. “Yeah, gotta get you away from me.”

“Okay, I'm going,” Steve said; somehow he'd got a hold of Billy's wrist. He was grinning now.

“Follow you out in like five minutes.”

“Okay,” Steve said again. He let Billy go; he slipped away and unlocked the door, then he was gone.

Billy stared after him for a couple seconds. He wasn't really sure how he felt; he felt okay. He sat down on the floor and smoked a cigarette to try and get ahold of himself. His whole body was singing Steve Steve Steve still and he felt kinda shakey for some reason. He guessed there was worse ways he could feel after sucking a dick for the first time.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. He'd fucking liked it too. He ended up smoking a second cigarette.

He fixed himself up too and left the bathroom; he started down the steps and then had to double back for Maxine's stupid soda. He tried hard to look like he hadn't just had Steve's huge amazing dick in his mouth when he handed it over to her.

“Thanks,” said Max. She gave him a weird look and then turned back to to TV; she had Sinclair next to her on the couch now so Billy guessed she wasn't up for scrutinizing him too heavily.

No one really paid him much mind aside from Henderson. “WHERE WERE YOU, YOU MISSED THE FIREBALL!”

“What? I was outside, sorry,” Billy said. He sat back down on the floor in his spot in front of Steve; Steve nudged him with his knee.

Wheeler Jr came thundering down the staircase; he was making a huge shit-face. Billy wondered if he'd been upstairs the whole time. “WHICH ONE OF YOU _ASSHOLES_ WAS SMOKING IN THE DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM, MY MOM IS GOING TO MURDER ME,” he yelled. Steve started laughing.

 

The kids broke up their game around seven; Max was ready to go home and eat Susan's horrible dinner. Henderson had Steve cornered on the couch yapping away to him so's he and Billy couldn't gaze longingly into each other's eyes and say bye or whatever.

Max gave him an annoyed look as they got back into the Camaro. “What happened to you? Your hair looks all screwed up and you BARELY TALKED to Steve!” she yapped.

 _DID MORE THAN TALKIN'!_ Billy managed not to scream in her face. He wondered how Max would react if he told her Harrington's dick was about the size of a baseball bat.

“How could I talk to 'im, you kids were screaming too fuckin' much the whole time.”

Maxine looked thoughtful. “Okay, whatever, I need to get you guys alone in some kind of … romantic setting. Does Steve like Italian food?”

Billy tried not to throw up. The thought of some kinda romantic date shit was a little much; he didn't know if he'd ever be able to do that kinda stuff with anyone really.

Back at the house he instantly felt bored as shit. Normally he'd be hangin' out with Harrington all weekend but he wasn't sure if Steve'd want to hear from him about three hours after he'd had his cock in Billy's mouth. He was out there on cloud nine still but he guessed he didn't know what kinda cloud Steve was on; he might still be down there on Earth thinkin' about stuff.

He was pretty sure one of the guys on the basketball team was throwing a party; Susan didn't really like it when he went out and left Maxine by herself when she was workin' late though. Anyway he didn't really feel like going to a party if Harrington wasn't going to be there. He was about the only person in town Billy liked. Max and Will were okay. MAYBE SOMETIMES Henderson, not today like when he was goin' on about his fireball shit or ruinin' Billy's moment with Harrington. Anyway he guessed they'd had a couple of moments by now.

He let Max play her Vincent Price movies and detail some horrible plans she had for how he could win Steve over – “Have you ever seen that movie _Endless Love?”_ she questioned all serious. “I mean – okay, maybe don't kill his dad or whatever.” She thought about it. “He could kill _our_ dad, though.”

“ _What?”_ Billy said; like usual he had no clue what the hell she was goin' on about. “Max, shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, _you're_ clearly not a fan of big gestures,” Max yapped. Billy turned the volume up over her and she laughed.

He woke up too early the next morning; any time before noon on the weekend was too early. He helped Susan make breakfast before she went off to work and wandered back out to the living room. He was still layin' on the couch watching cartoons when Max came out of her room at around quarter-to-one. “What are we doing today?” she asked him like they were the fuckin’ Bobbsey twins or some shit; Billy lamented his life.

“Dunno what you're doing,” Billy told her; there was a _Defenders of the Earth_ marathon on and he had English homework to do.

Max ignored him. “Are you going to Steve's?” she asked him. “Can I come with you?”

Billy thought about it: he hadn't been sure if he should call Harrington today either. He didn't want him to think he was bein' too eager or some shit. Then he thought about Steve in his car back at the start of the month lookin' how he'd looked and saying _I just, I don't know what you want_ and thought that he was probably being a huge fucking dumbass again. He guessed he could be a little eager.

“Yeah, you wanna go over there?”

Max looked excited. “It's gonna be like sixty degrees out today, do you think he'll let us use his pool?”

“Probably.”

“Do you want me to call him or can you do it?” Maxine asked him like she was his damn mom again.

Billy rolled his eyes. “I can call him,” he said. Max made a big production of giving him the phone.

“Oh, hey!” Steve said when he answered; he sounded happy and Billy felt okay. “What's up, man?”

“Nothin',” Billy said. “What you doin' today?”

“Nothing really, I'm not doing anything.”

“Me 'n Max wanna come over and use your fancy pool,” Billy told him.

“Ohhh, okay. Okay, I see what this whole thing's been about,” Steve said; he was teasing him.

Billy leaned back against the arm of the couch and grinned. “Yeah, did I earn my pool privileges yet?” he asked; Maxine made a big weird fish face.

“Yeah, for like a day.”

“Wow!” Billy said; Max was right there so he couldn't really say what he wanted. “Huh, I guess I'll have to try harder next time.” Steve laughed. “You're pretty funny, you're cute,” Billy told him.

“There's actually this person that thinks I am real cute, you might know 'em,” Steve said.

“I never said that.”

“Hey, ah – can you go swimming?” Steve asked him. “What about your, uh, you know, your – ?”

“Ohhhright,” Billy said; he remembered Steve's handiwork from Friday night. “Shit. Uh, guess I can't. Think of somethin'.”

“Sorry,” Steve said. He didn't sound too sorry.

“Make you sorry,” Billy said; Maxine made an even bigger weirder fish face. He wasn't even doin' nothing. “Okay, we'll be over.”

“Okay.”

He and Max finished watching the episode of _Defenders of the Earth_ and then went off to get ready. Like usual Maxine took about fifty trillion years primpin' herself and Billy sat waiting for her on the couch. Finally she came out in her jeans and a little bikini top; Billy almost managed not to shriek.

Max ignored him crying about his bleeding eyes, almost. “You're so dramatic. Where's your bathing suit?” she asked him.

“Too cold for me, I ain't swimming.”

“Why? The pool's heated,” Max pointed out.

“I'm shy,” Billy said; Max rolled her eyes out of her goddamn head. The living room was a huge mess right now, she'd never find 'em. Hahaha. Who was dramatic.

“Oh, my – are you serious?”

“What, I ain't been workin' out.”

“Billy!” Max yapped. “This is a really good opportunity for you!” Jesus she thought his life was a fuckin' episode of _Love Line_ or some shit. “Oh my god, I bet Steve's not going to go in either, you'll both just sit around NOT TALKING again and think about grabbing each other's BUTTS the whole time or whatever it is you – “

“MAXINE!” Susan said; she was rounding out of the hallway and buttoning up her blouse for work. “Can you leave your brother alone? How many times have I asked you not to talk like that?”

Max jumped and her eyes practically bugged out of her head. Billy sat back on the couch and gave her a big glare. “Sorry! Sorry, Mom!”

“I honestly don't know what's gotten into you lately, the things that come out of your mouth – ” Susan went on and on; Max was cringing like a guilty poodle.

“I was just joking, Mom!” she yelped. Susan turned away for a second to drag her keys off the wall; Max cringed and slid her eyes over to Billy. She mouthed, “Sorry, sorry!”

“Well, I don't really think it's funny to joke about things like that, I'm sure Billy doesn't appreciate it either.”

Billy didn't say anything; he already knew Max had a fuckin' mouth on her. Susan sighed at them some more and left finally for work. Max was fidgeting and twitching like a crazy person with him glaring at her. “SORRY!” she burst out. “I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS STILL HOME!”

“This is why I didn't want to tell you shit, you asshole, you don't know how to shut your fuckin' mouth – “ Billy told her; he wasn't even yellin'.

“Oh my god! Yes I do!”

“ – you're gonna say the wrong fuckin' thing in front of someone – “

“ _No_ I won't!” yapped Max. “I said SORRY! It was _just_ Mom, she doesn't even – “

“Yeah, just your mom and she's fuckin' disgusted, next time it'll be my dad and he'll snap my neck in two seconds – “

“ – he's not even here anymore, it doesn't matter what he thinks!” Max yelped.

Billy ignored her and leaned back against the arm of the couch; he sighed at her going on and on about his old man. First off he knew there was no way in hell his dad was ever gonna let Max and her moms have this house. Second he was pretty sure now there was no fuckin' way he could tell her about Harrington even if he wanted to. She was too goddamn dumb; sometimes Billy forgot that despite her womanly wisdom and her plannin' and her helpful advice or whatever she was still just a stupid kid.

It wasn't even the shit she said about him liking Harrington; it was fuckin' everything else she said all the damn time. Billy guessed that Max still thought it was some big joke that he was queer or something. She probably really did think he could go on _Love Line_ or whatever and get a fucking boyfriend; was like she didn't know how other people thought. Sometimes she had him feelin' like he was okay, and she didn't know how to not open her goddamn mouth. As it was she was going to get him into trouble anyhow – it was only by some miracle of God that Steve was Steve and was maybe a little dumb. Any other guy would've fuckin' curb-stomped Billy's ass already. Then again there was a reason why Billy didn't like no other guy.

Okay. He stopped thinking his romantic shit. “Look, just quit your shit, okay? Can you do that for one fucking day?”

“All right, I'll stop, I stopped!” Max yapped. She pantomimed zipping her lip up. If only, Billy thought. “I'll be so good today, I won't say a single thing to Steve, okay? I mean I'll just act like a normal person!”

“Can you do that?” Billy asked her. “You ain't normal.”

“Yes I am, I'm so normal!” Max scowled at him; she was just standing around in her horrendous bikini top with her frizzy hair twitchin' like an insane person. “ _You're_ not normal!”

“Yeah, I know that, thanks,” Billy said; Maxine made a face.

“That's NOT what I meant!” she yapped in support of his gay lifestyle.

“Okay, okay, okay, stop talkin', Jesus.”

Max stared at him with her big bug eyes. “So can we go?”

“Yeah, put a fuckin' sweater on, I ain't your pimp.”

At Steve's house Max past dashed right past him into the backyard and swatted at Luke. “I don't have time for you, Lukey,” she said. She shucked her jeans off and jumped into the pool; Steve was making a terrible face.

“Jesus, she looks like an actual girl, who got her that bikini?”

“Isn't it terrible?”

“I can hear you, assholes!” Max said.

Harrington was wearing his little swim shorts and a red t-shirt; Billy daydreamed about drowning Max in the pool so's they could hook up. Steve sat with his feet in the pool and talked his head off to Max and Billy for a while as Max paddled around. He had real nice shoulders.

Jesus. Billy was tryin' not to get too distracted by him. Maxine was around to kill his libido and anyway he had dogs to pet.

“HEY! I SEE YOU! STOP DRINKING OUTTA THE POOL!” Steve told Leia; he pointed at her dramatically and she put her ears down and slunk around past him.

“Don't fucking scream at her!” Billy said. Steve rolled his eyes and Leia loped over to him. Her ears were still down but she thumped her tail twice hopefully against the concrete. “Little girl,” Billy said sweetly to Leia; she wagged her tail some more so he started petting her. “Why's Daddy so mean???” he asked her. Leia whined and put her head on his leg; she didn't know! “I know! Daddy's so mean!”

“Shut up, it's really bad for her to do that,” Steve said all grumpy. Billy ignored him; he was yapping away to his girl. He held Leia's face.

“ARE YOU A BABY?” he asked her. Leia slurped his face. “HAHA!”

“Oh, my god. Did he always do this?” Steve asked Max.

“He was worse before, our old neighbors down the street had this stupid beagle.”

“OH MY GOD, MOLLY!” Billy gasped; he got jazzed up in two seconds rememberin' the old bitch. “She was the best girl.”

“He loved Molly,” Max told Steve. She leaned against the pool ladder. “She was really fat and old. She had like two teeth left, it was so gross.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Billy said. “I knew that dog for six whole years,” he told Steve; Steve was making a huge Billy-is-amusing for some reason. Some people didn't care about animals that much. It was so sad. “She was the best, you'd pretend to shoot her and she'd play dead. POW!” he said to Leia; she wagged her tail hard and snuffled at him. “HAHAHA! Okay okay. AHH!”

It was a nice day even though he couldn't hook up with Harrington. He and Steve kept giving each other these big looks; it was kinda like a game they were playing or something. Billy kept thinking about Steve's amazing dick in his mouth. He wondered if Steve was thinkin' about it too.

The sun was shining but it was still pretty cold out and Maxine announced she couldn't leave the pool. She kept ordering Billy around and makin' him get her sodas; between the two of them they pushed Steve into the pool about five times.

“You guys are actually evil, there's something wrong with you,” Steve said later when they'd finally gone inside and he was dripping chlorine on the kitchen floor. “You belong on one of those crime shows, you're like seriously nefarious and shit.”

“That's a big word, did Billy teach you that?” Max asked; she was wrapped in a Scooby Doo towel bein' a huge troll and looking through the pantry.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Wow, no, it was on the SAT, you frickin' brat.”

“Oh, I forgot you took that,” Max said. She closed the pantry door. “What score did you get?”

“Uh, that's classified,” Steve said like Henderson. Max rolled her eyes too. She sat at the kitchen table.

“We're hungry,” she informed Steve.

“Is that your hive mind talkin'?” Steve asked her; Billy started laughing.

They made a huge mess out of the kitchen making garlic bread; Max yapped her head off that they were using too much cheese but there was no such thing. They sat at the table waiting for it; Steve looked over at Billy and got a weird look on his face.

“Hey, can I ask you about somethin'?”

Billy wondered if he was going to have a gay panic in front of Maxine. “Yeah, what?”

Steve stared at him some more. His hair was still all wet; he swept it away from his forehead and looked all Nick Cave-y again. Goddamn. “You remember when you asked me if I ever dreamed about some blonde lady?”

Billy stared back; for a couple seconds he didn't. Then he did remember; it'd been his big life-changing night when he'd got to see Steve in the pool. “Yeah, I guess. What about her?”

“Okay, who is she?”

Max was making a big weird fish face at both of them. Billy thought about it. “Uh, think that's El's mom.”

Steve said, “Wait, are you _serious?_ ” and Max said, “Oh, my god!” in annoyance.

“What?” Billy said.

“Okay, why am I dreaming about her?” Steve looked at Max. “Does she – like, like, she even have a mom?”

Billy didn't say anything; Max made another big fish face. “Of course she has a mom, you nimrod, everyone has a mom!”

“Okay, okay, I don't know anything about it! No one tells me shit,” Steve said. He looked grumpy now; he was leaning with his elbows on the table. “What, do _you_ have dreams about El's freaky mom?”

“I don't know, I don't remember everything I dream about,” said Max all snotty. “Are we going to talk about her for another hour again now?”

“Chill out,” Billy told her. “What you know about it?”

“Why would _I_ know anything? No one tells me anything either, I'm not _best friends_ with El like _you_ are _._ ”

Jesus she was going to start with her girlfriend shit in two seconds. He turned back to Steve. “So you been seeing her too or whatever? Her mom?”

“I guess like … like once or twice now. I dreamed about her last night, really fun times. Do you think it means something?”

“Oh my god, you're so behind, Mike went on about this like two months ago,” Max said; Steve looked blank. “ _What?_ ”

“Okay, great. So that's, that's like normal to you guys? Just havin' freaky dreams about some lady you've never met?”

“Yeah, welcome to the creepy kid club,” Billy said. Steve and Max made great faces. The whole junior squad was here, Billy thought and laughed to himself. He kinda got a real kick out of it; like usual none of them knew what the fuck was going on. “Guess it's part of her radar.”

Steve kinda smiled; he furrowed his eyebrows too though. “Yeah, I just feel like maybe that shouldn't be happening, did she do that before? Why is she doing that?”

“Don't think she can help it.”

“She probably misses her,” Max said; Billy guessed she'd been having some dreams too even if she was being too much of a brat to say it.

“Okay, but don't you think that's weird? Do you think it means something?”

“I dunno,” Billy said. Dreams didn't always have to mean something; just the other night Billy'd dreamed that he'd had four dogs and also Steve'd came over wearing the gold bikini from _Rocky Horror._ That definitely wasn't going to happen. He only needed three dogs. Haha. “Dreams just a dream. Guess she wants to see her.”

“Yeah, lucky she has you to take her on a stupid field trip,” Max said like a huge brat.

Steve stared at him again. “Uh, what?” he said.

“What?” Billy said too. He felt weird; he was realizin' he hadn't told Steve about that. He guessed he'd figured Henderson would've filled him in or something.

Steve was still looking at him. Billy said, “Told her I'd take her to see her mom or whatever.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, was that time she came to see me at work and fixed my radio. I told you 'bout that.”

“Yeah, when HE BOUGHT HER FRENCH FRIES,” Max said in her womanly hysteria.

Steve ignore the womanly hysteria; he was giving Billy some kinda big look too. “Okay, Bill, you didn't tell me you had some big emotional talk with her, are you really going to do that?”

“Asshole, didn't have some big emotional talk – “

“Do you think that's safe? To do that? You're just gonna, what, go on a road trip with this kid?” Steve asked him like a den dad or a fuckin' boyfriend. Billy had no clue what he was goin' on about; Elijane could probably take out the whole damn US army.

Max was staring between them and it was making him feel pretty weird. “I didn't even talk to the chief yet, ain't no way he's gonna let me take her.”

“I guess.” Steve had a funny look on his face. “I mean, do you think that’s a good idea? You don't – I mean, you don't know her family, you don't know what could happen.“

“Oh my god, he's freaking out again,” Max whispered to Billy.

“I'M NOT FREAKING OUT,” Steve said, freaking out. “I just, I don't know, you don't even really know her.”

Billy shrugged. “Sure I do.”

“Uh, okay, she's basically a weapon – “

“Shit, man,” Billy said in disgust. “She's a fucking kid.”

“Okay, I didn't mean it like that – “

“You scared of her?”

“No, I'm not scared of her!” Steve rolled his eyes like a sulky bitch. “You know I like her, I didn't mean – look, you didn't even know what was going on here last year – “

“Uh, neither did you,” Maxine pointed out helpfully.

“Yeah, thanks Max!” Steve yelled. He turned back to Billy. “Do you want me to go with you or something?” he asked like a den dad; he was making Billy feel weird as shit.

“Calm down, Stella, I just said I don't even know if – “

Max sat up suddenly; she was looking fixedly over Billy's shoulder. “Uh, Steve?” she yapped.

“Oh my god, what?!”

“The oven's going to explode!”

“What?” Steve said. He looked up and made a great face; the oven was smoking like crazy. “Oh, _shit!_ ”

The smoke alarm starting going off real loud. Maxine screamed that Steve was even worse than her moms; Steve started laughing at her. Billy figured they was done talking about El for a while.

 

* * *

 

Now that he and Harrington were officially hooking up or whatever it was impossible to get any time alone together; they didn't do shit for about half the week. It rained about every fuckin' day too and Billy was in a great mood. Not really.

Monday they met up at Steve's house once he was done work; Steve started bitchin' his head off about Elijane again so Billy grabbed him by his tie and threw him down on the couch. Then Steve bitched his head off about how Billy was a terrible person who just manhandled him all the time so Billy had to climb on him and kiss him to shut him the fuck up.

They'd only been making out for about four minutes when Steve's mom came walking in; they'd heard her heels clickin' out in the front hall and jumped apart on the couch. Mrs. Harrington had seemed totally unperturbed to find the two of them sitting together in silence without the TV on. She'd made a couple of her usual smart comments and had made Steve take her out to dinner; Billy'd begged off and went to work late with blue balls like usual.

Tuesday he went to basketball practice and then to shop again (Coach hadn't benched him like he'd been threatening); Hank was killin' him and begging him to stay late and put the whole fuckin' engine back into a truck he'd been working on. “Come on, Bill, my daughter's in town, she ain't never in town,” Hank said. “It's not even a holiday. Supposed to take her to dinner, if I bail on her again, she ain't never comin' back from Indianapolis.”

Jesus Christ he was workin' him over; Billy scowled like a kid at Hank workin' him over. He guessed Hank was doing him a huge favor fixing Susan's car up after all. He guessed he owed him. Billy fuckin' hated owing people. “Fine, yeah, I'll do it, if I fuck it up you're takin' the blame.”

Hank tossed his keys in the air and dropped them like a dumbass. “You're the best, Bill,” he said; Billy muttered grumpily in response. Hank clapped him on the back and left him to suffer with the Chevy. Took him about five hours to do everything; by the time he'd finished it was past eleven and he was too fuckin' gross and tired and dirty to think about going over to Harrington's.

Wednesday Steve got the afternoon off; he met Billy at his house after basketball practice. It was a little before five. “Surprise, my dad's home now too, he and my mom've been fighting each other since Sunday night,” he said all glum. He must've gone home and gotten changed; he was wearing his jeans and some cute t-shirt.

“That really sucks, man,” Billy told him; Steve made a noncommittal noise.

“Yeah, it’d just be nice if they could fight each other from across the county like usual.”

Billy didn’t know if he should smile at that. He was lamenting his life: Harrington's parents had basically been absent the whole time Billy'd known him; he and Steve had always been alone in his fancy house doin’ whatever. Now as soon as they wanted to hook up with each other everyone was having a goddamn party in the living room like they was in some kinda sitcom.

Steve and Billy walked up the walkway and into Billy's house. Max had her friend Bev over; Billy didn't remember if she'd told him that or not. They were sprawled out on the floor watching Madonna videos to try and learn the moves to some song to use at the spring dance. They looked like two big idiots; Steve made a great face at Bev tryin' to do a split and falling over.

Max stared at Steve and Billy sitting on the couch; she was giving Billy a big look like usual. He raised his eyebrows at her and she jumped up. “Bev, did you still want – to go to the store?” she asked loudly.

“Huh?” Bev said. She was half-under the coffee table for some reason with a buncha magazines fallin’ onto her ass.

“I want to get that, um …” Max looked like she was thinkin’ hard. She pursed her lips. “THAT BON JOVI TAPE!” she yelled like a crazy person. “I'll buy you fries after.”

“Okay!” said Bev; like any smart person she could always be swayed with fries. Max started pullin' her out from under the coffee table by her gangly leg. “Can your brother give us a ride?”

“Ummmm, your bike won't fit in his car!” Max answered for Billy all suave.

“Oh, right.”

Max dragged Bev out to the front door. “Mom's at work til nine!” she said pointedly; she gave Billy her biggest _Make a Move!_ look. Jesus Christ she was the best little sister Billy could ask for even if she had no clue what the fuck was going on; he was gonna take her to ten George Michael concerts and buy her like eighty t-shirts.

Off went the girls; Billy heard the door click as Maxine locked it behind her.

Steve looked over at him. Billy stared back. “So do you wanna – “

“Yeah, get over here,” Billy said; Steve swung over and climbed on him in two seconds. “Oh shit,” Billy said. His heart started thumping away in his chest like a nervous girl or something when Steve leaned in and kissed him. God Billy wanted him so bad; four days was too long and he was already fuckin' hard. “Shit, man, you turn me on,” he said. “Failed my fuckin' Lit test thinkin' about you.”

Steve stopped kissin' him for a second. “Okay, I doubt you failed,” he told him; Jesus he was so supportive. He started smiling real nice. “Do you wanna tell me about your vocab words? What did ya learn this week?”

Billy slugged him; Steve laughed. “OW!”

“Shut the fuck up, c'mere.”

“Why, so you can hit me some more?”

Goddamn Harrington was a frustrating bitch. Billy grabbed him by the waist and dragged him onto his lap where he wanted him. Steve was still laughing at him; Billy didn't care. One day he was gonna get control of himself and let Steve know who was boss. Probably not today. Steve put his hand in Billy's hair and yanked his head back; Billy gave out a choked gasp as Steve licked a line up his throat and then found his mouth again.

Madonna was still playin' on the TV; it was Billy's big gay soundtrack apparently. Harrington was a really good kisser and Billy was so hot in two seconds; he shouldn't be so fuckin' hot in two seconds. Steve was wearing his black Hawkins High t-shirt and he looked so good and he felt so good. Billy couldn't stop touching his back and his ass as they kissed.

He thought again that he'd wanted Steve for so long. It was this feeling that seemed to get more intense every time they'd hook up. It kinda scared him in a way; he didn't feel scared.

Steve was murmuring and touching him about everywhere; it felt like Billy was being zapped with sexy electricity or something. Jesus God now he was even using Harrington's dorky fucking phrases in his head. Steve ran his hands down Billy's hips; he played over a big rip on the thigh of his jeans. Billy yammered out, “Ah, fuck, okay,” like a goddamn idiot when Steve rubbed against his erection.

Steve made some kinda sound into his mouth and shifted over a little bit. He was still rubbing his dick through his pants. Billy was wearing his oldest most Garbage Pail Kid pair of jeans; they were kind of threadbare and he could feel fucking everything through them. It was kind of a curse right now. He shuddered a little when Steve gripped his cock through them. He put his hand on Steve's wrist and kissed him again. “Shit, hang on, I just – “

Steve laughed at him. “What? Hey, you always do this to me, I wanna do it to you,” he said. He was kissing Billy's neck again and Billy couldn't stop shaking. Harrington had him like a trapped animal. He pressed his mouth against a spot right under Billy's jaw; Billy was gonna shake apart in about a minute. “Thought about doing this to you before,” Steve told him real low. “I wanna touch you.” Holy shit. Jesus.

“Uh. I just – “ Billy managed; he was still holding onto Steve's wrist and squirming like a kid. “ _Fuck._ Steve, I – “ Steve kissed him again. His hand was still on Billy's cock and he was going so slow; Billy couldn't get away. He felt sparks shooting out from his eyelids. He was supposed to be cooler than this. He groaned out into Steve's mouth and started laughing a little. Jesus he was so fucked.

Steve kissed him some more; all Billy could hear was fuckin' Madonna going on and the sound of their mouths pressing together. Steve put his other hand on the side of Billy's face. He muttered Billy's name into the kiss; Billy dragged his hand into Steve's hair and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Everything was so bright and hot. Billy said, “Uhh, god, man.”

Steve's hand was twisting in his lap. He ran his thumb over the head of Billy's cock through his jeans; Billy shuddered so he did it again. He gripped Steve's wrist and tried to move his hand away, couldn't take it. “Hahahaha you motherfucker,” he said like an insane person. He hissed out against Steve's mouth in a helpless way; his hips jerked when Steve pressed against his cock again. “Fuck you gotta stop. Shit. Oh. _Oh._ ”

Steve started grinning into his mouth like a total asshole. He kept on rubbing at Billy's cock; Billy was shaking and twitching and moaning against his lips. “Oh my god, Bills, are you going to cream your pants?” he asked in delight.

“Hahahahaha uhhh I,” Billy said; there was no blood left in his head and his two remaining brain cells were working hard trying to remember language. He swallowed hard with Steve kissin' his jaw. “Fuck, I just – “

“God, you're so gorgeous,” Steve breathed out; Billy had no clue what he was talking about. “Why're you so hot, man?”

“Hahahahauhhhh,” Billy said. Steve started assaulting his neck again; goddamnit he already knew all the fuckin' spots to hit. He was still pressing down on Billy's dick and Billy was trying so hard not to fuckin' hump his hand. “Fuck, man, come on,” he whined out.

“What, are you gonna come?” Steve asked him. “You can do it if you want. Be so hot.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Billy turned his head so's Steve could kiss him again; felt like he was gonna swallow him up. Billy couldn't stop touching him and holding onto him. Steve. God. “Uhhfuck,” he said.

Steve's eyes were so big; he looked like he was daring him. “Go on, I want you to. Come on.”

Billy shivered with Steve saying his romantic shit. Steve kept on kissing him and he kept on touching his cock through his jeans; he rubbed at Billy's thigh again. Billy was pretty sure he was whimpering like a goddamn idiot. He kept choking and laughing into Steve's mouth and his hips kept twitching.

“God, man,” he moaned out; Steve said, “Yeah, I know.” He thumbed over the head of Billy's cock again and Billy's whole body shook. Steve did it again two times and mumbled into his mouth; Billy bit at his bottom lip too hard and started coming. He gripped Steve's hair and his wrist and Steve said “Oh shit” and kept on rubbing his cock. Billy groaned into his mouth again; he saw little white stars like he was in a cartoon or some shit. He came so hard it kinda felt like he'd actually blacked out for a second.

Finally he returned to his body; Steve was still touching him through his jeans and he was breathing kinda hard too. Billy slid his hand out of Steve's hair and cradled the back of his neck for a second. He didn't even know what to say so he was glad when Steve kissed him again. “God, that was so hot, you're so hot,” Steve said into his mouth.

Steve's lip was bleeding a little; Billy guessed he'd done that. He fumbled at Steve's jeans and got his fly open; Steve moaned out real loud when Billy got his hand wrapped around his huge dick. He climbed back on top of Billy and stuck his whole fuckin' tongue down his throat. Billy started jerkin' him and Steve shot off onto his shirt in about four seconds; they both groaned.

Billy worked at Steve's cock until he was shaking; Steve put his hand on his arm and he finally stopped. Billy was still breathing too hard, couldn't catch his breath.

Steve collapsed down next to him on the couch; he was laughing because he was an insane person. He looked over at Billy and said “Oh shit;” there was come all over his Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

Billy stared down at the shirt and smeared it away with his hand. He could almost breathe again. Felt so dizzy. “Man, you gotta stop doing this shit to me,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, sorry,” Steve said; he didn't sound too sorry. “I can't help it. Are you okay?”

“Think so.” He did feel okay; he also felt kinda crazy and he was covered in jizz like a fuckin' porno movie. Couldn't believe he'd came in his pants like a kid; Steve looked like he was never gonna stop being happy about it.

Billy stood up. Yep he was never gonna be able to wear these jeans again without thinking of Harrington rubbin' him off. He was a fucking mess again; his boxers were sticking to him and his legs felt like spaghetti noodles. It was so sexy. “Put your dick away, I gotta go take a shower,” he told Steve.

Steve was rolling his eyes and zipping his pants up. “Yeah, I'm just still hanging out like this when Susan comes in, what d'you think she'd do?”

“Definitely regret marryin' my old man,” Billy said; Steve laughed. Billy pushed at his shoulder and went past him into the hallway and into his room to get new clothes.

Once he was alone in the bathroom he felt weird as hell. He shoved his jeans and his Led Zeppelin shirt deep down into the laundry bin; Jesus Christ he was definitely gonna have to do the wash this week. He took a shower and tried not to freak the fuck out.

Maybe he shouldn't have left Steve alone in the living room. He might be freaking out too, or it might be weird when Billy went back out there. What was he supposed to do, take Steve in the shower with him. Hahaha. Maybe Steve'd just have left. Maybe he'd want to leave.

Okay. That was okay if he wanted to leave. Billy tried to calm himself down; he spent way too much time in the shower trying not to freak out.

Steve was still on the couch when Billy went back out; he had some huge plate on the coffee table and was eating something.

Billy came around to the back of the couch and stared down at him for a couple seconds. “Did you make a fuckin' sandwich?” he asked finally.

Steve tilted his head back to look at Billy; he was stuffing his goddamn face already. “What, I made you one too,” he said. He stared up at him. “Oh, I like that shirt,” he said.

Billy stared at him; Steve raised an eyebrow at him, upside down. He said, “Uh – sorry, did you want to go out somewhere?”

“No I'm good,” Billy said; he'd finally found his voice. He sat down and Steve handed him the remote. “Thanks.”

“I have to buy you more bread now.”

“Yeah, that's okay,” Billy said.

Steve stared at him like a dork and leaned in; Billy smacked him. “Get the fuck away from me, I know you put mustard on that thing.”

“Screw you!” Steve said. He leaned in and kissed Billy anyway; wasn't that bad. “Hey, can you put on UPN, I want to watch _Night Heat,_ ” he said once he'd finished kissin' on him.

Jesus Christ Harrington thought he could just fucking tell him what to do all the time; Billy gave him a big look. Steve just gazed back at him real sweet. Billy folded; anyway there wasn't nothing else on.

“Yeah, whatever,” Billy said. He put _Night Heat_ on and ate his sandwich. Steve talked through the whole fucking thing just like Billy'd figured he would.

 

* * *

 

 

Billy's old man came back home on Friday night. On Thursday Susan sat them down in the kitchen and had a big talk with them about it. It was raining outside again; that felt about right.

Billy didn't really think they needed to have a big talk about it. Was about what he'd expected; he had shit to do and he really wanted to be over at Harrington's. First off there was a hockey game on tonight, second he knew Steve's mom wasn't home again.

He and Maxine had just been havin' a big whispered argument about Harrington before Susan'd came in: Max couldn't believe Billy hadn't put the moves on him yesterday. Billy hadn't thought she'd needed to know about him jerking Steve off on the couch. Then again it could work to his advantage; if she knew she'd probably never go into the fucking living room again. Haha!

Susan was fluttering about the kitchen like a nervous bird; she was already talkin' away a mile a minute saying her shit about how they were a family and they needed to stick together. Billy stopped laughing in his head; he guessed he should try to look serious.

He didn't really care about his dad though. Not caring was an understatement. He wasn't like Max; he'd known Neil would be coming back. It'd been real easy to ignore it up until today.

Susan went on and on trying to do her little cheerleader act. “I just think this could be a really good thing for us, it's going to be different now,” she told Billy and Max. Her eyes were red and tired. “You know, we've talked a lot, and I think – “

Maxine was scowling up a storm; was about what Billy'd expected too. “HOW is it going to be a good thing?” she asked. She looked truly terrifying; she was already at a level five and Billy already had a fuckin' headache. “How can you just let him COME BACK here?”

“Max, it's not that simple,” Susan said. “I'm not – I'm not _letting_ him, he lives here. You know, we don't have a lot of – ”

“Uh, I LIVE HERE TOO,” Max went off in her hysteria; Susan was clutching her third-best dish towel.

“Don't – don't yell at me,” Susan told her in a faltering voice; Max scowled some more.

“Okay, well, DAD yelled at you, Neil yells at you, BILLY yells at you, I guess I can too!”

“Max, shut the fuck up,” Billy said. He didn't know why she was comin' for him right now.

“YOU shut the fuck up!” Max yapped back.

Susan didn't say 'language.' She was busy trying to placate Max. “Listen, we've had a long talk about this, I think – “

“What, you had a long talk about him _beating up my friends?_ ” Maxine snitted.

“Okay, he's apologized for that, that is not going to happen again. I – you're _my_ daughter, and we're going to have boundaries now, if he wants to discipline you he's going to need to – he said he'll apologize – “

“Whatever, what about Billy?” Max interrupted her moms. She looked all imperious-like with her hands folded on the table. “Is he going to _apologize_ to Billy for beating the total _shit_ out of him?”

“I – “ Susan said; she looked all taken aback like she hadn't seen Billy limpin' around the house for two weeks. Billy guessed they were all used to that. “I don't – “ she paused for a long time; Billy was just looking at her. Finally she said, “He won't – talk about Billy to me. He says that, he said – “

“My dad say some shit to you about me, Sue?” Billy interrupted her too. He didn't mean to and he'd told himself he wouldn't but he was getting real mad in two seconds. His old man loved to talk shit on him; had had Susan fuckin' scared of him before they'd even moved in together. “What he say about me?”

“He didn't say any – “

“He callin' me a fuckin' rapist again?” That'd been his dad's favorite phrase to throw around after the whole shitshow with Tracey had happened; he had a whole mess of shit to say about Billy and Tracey. He loved to tell Billy how he'd ruined her, throw it in his face, like Tracey was some fuckin' piece of meat that Billy could have spoiled just by touching her.

He didn't even want to think about what his old man would say if he knew about him and Harrington. His dad wouldn't even say anything; he'd just murder him on the spot.

He didn't feel like thinking about that. He'd let his dad make him feel so bad for so long about Tracey; he wasn't going to let him do that with Steve. He couldn't do that with Steve if he tried. He said again, “What he say about me?” He wanted to know.

Max was staring at him in a weird way like she hadn't heard his old man going on about what a rapist and a degenerate Billy was for half a goddamn year; Susan looked real upset. “He didn't – say anything about you!” she said. “It's not abou – this is not going to be like before. I'm not going to, to let him hit you in the face at the breakfast table!” Her face was all red.

“The _breakfast table?_ We only have one table,” Maxine said like a shitheel. Billy ignored her.

“What did he say about me?” he asked Susan again.

“He didn't say anything about you!” Susan said again. He was makin' her get all flustered; he guessed he sounded some kinda way. “I – he, he said that I'm … I'm not your _mother_ , and I shouldn't – I should mind my own business, but I – “

“Yeah, you ain't my fuckin' mom,” Billy told her; it was the truth after all. “So why don't you mind your fuckin' business? Be easier for you.”

Susan's face crumpled. Billy didn't know why she had to look all hurt and shit. She wasn't his damn mom; he was only repeating what his dad said apparently. “Don't _talk_ to me that way, Billy!” she said.

“HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKIN' TALK TO YOU?” Billy asked her; Susan shrank away from him like he was gonna hit her or some shit. Jesus god.

Max was pushing her chair back and slamming to her feet; the legs of the chair scraped loudly out against the floor. “YOU BOTH SUCK!” she screamed. “YOU'RE TOTALLY STUPID, YOU BOTH SUCK! I HATE IT HERE!” She slugged Billy's arm hard like a little horror and stormed out of the kitchen. They heard the front door out in the living room creak and as she stomped out; she slammed the door shut like a huge baby.

Billy rubbed his arm. She'd gotten his bad one of course and it already hurt anyway 'cause of the fucking rain. Susan was crying her head off into her third-best dishtowel; it was making him feel real annoyed. He sat and watched her cry for a minute or two.

“You gonna go after your fuckin' daughter or do I gotta go get her like usual?” he asked. Susan cried some more and didn't answer him; Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, figures.” He got up and left the kitchen too; he also slammed the front door like a huge baby just because he could.

Billy stood out on their little front porch for a few seconds; the sky was grey and looked like nothing. He put his hands in his jacket pockets. He'd figured he'd have to get his car and go drivin' all over the damn neighborhood looking for Max but she was just standing by the mailbox cryin' her eyes out like a little superbrat. He went over to her; the rain felt like sharp needles hitting his face. “Don't fuckin' hit me again, you shit,” he told her.

“SCREW YOU!” said Max at a steady level seven.

“Screw _you_ , why you mad at me?”

“You don't even care about anything!” Max cried and yapped her head off. “Mom's letting your stupid dad come back here and you don't even care!”

Goddamn but she was annoying. “I do care, what you want me to do?” Billy asked her; Max didn't answer him. “Don't scream at your fuckin' mom.”

“Uh, YOU JUST DID.”

“She ain't my mom,” Billy told her; Max scowled.

“You guys are so STUPID! Neil isn't even here and you just let him do WHATVER HE WANTS! He's not even – “

“He owns this house, you asshole,” Billy said. “He owns both your asses, he owns this house. This ain't a cartoon, Max, can't just wave a wand and get rid of him. What you want me to do?”

“I don't know, YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING ANYWAY!”

Jesus she was a piece of work. She'd never understand. Maybe it was a good thing she'd never understand; she didn't need to be like him.

Billy thought about it. They was just standing out in the yard gettin' rained on. Maybe he could tell her one thing. “Look, he ain't even gonna be here half the time, if you just keep outta his way for like two more – “

“Oh my god, that's not the point!” Max said. “You guys always say that, you act like it's fine! You just say, oh, it's okay, he's not that bad, and let him yell at you all the time – “

“Shut the fuck up, can you let me talk?” Billy begged her. Max scowled at him but he ignored her; he'd been thinking about this a lot when he hadn't been daydreaming about Steve's huge amazing dick. He guessed he'd been thinkin' it for a while. “Look, I can't stay here for too much longer, he's gonna kick me out when I graduate 'f he doesn't fuckin' kill me before then.”

No one'd said that but Billy knew it was coming; he was pretty sure his dad had only let him hang out this year because of school and on account of Billy owing him money from the hospital over the summer.

Max stared at him. “So what, you're going to just leave?”

“Yeah, what else am I supposed to do?” Max stared at him in her womanly hysteria for some reason; her eyes were getting bigger and bigger. “Was thinkin' maybe I could get a place or something,” he told her.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” Max yelled her head off at him; it wasn't what he'd been expecting. “SO YOU'D JUST LEAVE ME AND MOM HERE? ARE YOU GOING BACK TO CALIFORNIA? WHAT ABOUT _STEVE?_ ” she screamed like an insane person.

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy begged her; he didn't need the neighbors hearing her screaming about Steve Harrington at six o'clock on a Thursday. “What the fuck are you talking about, why would I go back to California?”

Max looked like a sulky bitch. “Um, you always talk about back at home,” she said like she didn't do the same fucking thing.

“No I don't,” Billy said. California _was_ back at home but it wasn't really home anymore; he missed the beaches and the city and the lack of fuckin' snow but he didn't have shit left for him there. “What the fuck'm I gonna do there?”

Max scowled and didn't answer him for a second; she shrugged her shoulders all moody. “I don't know, go do coke with Uncle Brian?”

Brian was Billy's mom's brother who'd taught him to work on cars. He'd really liked Maxine; thought she was hilarious. After the shit that'd happened with Tracey he hadn't liked Billy too much. “I ain't going back to California, asshole,” Billy told her. “Was thinking maybe I'd get a place around here. For a while.”

“Good for you, I don't _care_ what you do,” Max told him like a shithead; she wasn't hearin' him. “Have fun ABANDONING ME with your asshole dad, I don't know why I expected ANYTHING ELSE from you! Why are you even telling me this, you m – “

“Oh my fucking god, I'm gonna get a two bedroom!” Billy yelled at her.

Max stopped yelling and stared at him. “Okay, what's that mean?”

“I DON'T KNOW,” Billy said; she was makin' him feel weird as shit. “Ain't gonna fuckin' leave you. Maybe, uh – maybe you can stay with me on the weekends or some shit.”

“REALLY?” Max yapped her head off; she stopped being mad in two seconds. “YOU'D LET ME STAY WITH YOU?”

“Okay, I ain't gonna fuckin' adopt you – “

“WHERE are you looking at? There are these really cute apartments on Broadway, they _probably_ even have washers and dryers – “ she was already starting with her shit running his life.

“Oh my god, look, I said I was _thinking_ – “

“Do you even have enough money for an apartment? I'M GETTING A JOB IN TWO WEEKS, I CAN GET YOUR GROCERIES – “

Jesus God. “Yeah I have money, I'd have more if you didn't fuckin' spend it all,” Billy told her. He still had most of his cash from fixing the Civic up and he had an actual bank account and shit like a grownup; anyway Steve mostly paid for his shit when they went out like Billy was his fuckin' girlfriend or something.

“Hank would probably let you work full-time, he says you're really good,” Max yapped on and on. She jumped and hit the mailbox; she slugged his arm again. “This will be so cool, are you going to get a TV? You know what, you could PROBABLY get a boyfriend REALLY EASY if you had your own apartment – “

Fucking Christ he'd like it better three minutes ago when she was pissed off at him and screamin' about his dad. “Shut the fuck up,” he begged her again. “I don't want a fucking boyfriend.”

Max rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, you obviously don't, what are you _doing?_ Do you even still like Steve?” She was still bein' too loud but at least she wasn't yelling anymore.

Billy didn't answer her for a couple seconds. He didn't really have a word for how he felt about Harrington; it was more than _like_. “I guess.”

“ARE YOU EVEN A REAL HUMAN?” Max demanded. “What do you mean, _you guess?_ You either do or you don't!”

“You're just pissed off because you're gonna lose your bet in ten days,” Billy told her; once again he felt seriously guilty in about a minute.

“No, I'm pissed because you're a huge chicken, you had ALL DAY yesterday to make a move and you just watched stupid _Crime Story_ – “

It hadn't been _Crime Story_ ; Maxine'd came back in at around eight last night and looked all pissed off that they wasn't hooking up out in the living room or whatever. Mind you Billy didn't know what all she got up to with Sinclair but he didn't think even he could hook up with someone for three or four hours even if it was Steve Harrington; you had to stop and get food in between. “Look, he – ain't gonna climb on me on the fuckin' couch,” Billy lied his ass off.

“Yeah, because you won't do anything!” Max yapped. “This isn't fair, we need to rework the agreement!”

“Knew you'd be too fuckin' cheap to shell out any goddamn money – “

“I'M NOT CHEAP!” Max yelled her head off. “THE BET WAS IF – “ she seemed to realize they was standing out on the sidewalk and lowered her volume a little – “it was if he likes you, he OBVIOUSLY does, how am I supposed to prove it if you guys don't even say two sentences to each other?”

Hahahaha. Steve obviously liked him. Hahaha. Billy tried to calm himself down. They'd just been havin' some big conversation and now they was just talkin' about guys like usual. “Look, you wanna extend the bet or something?” Billy asked her.

Max looked at him skeptically. “Really?”

“Yeah, gimme a chance to figure out what I'm gonna do.” It'd give him a chance to figure out what to tell her at any rate. Jesus Christ. He didn't know why he'd let her start her shit in the first place. He'd never thought he'd have a fucking chance with Harrington; he still didn't know what they were doing. Anyway he didn't want to lie to her forever. He didn't like doing that shit.

“Okay, so … how long do you have now?”

“Dunno, when's Metallica go on sale?”

“June first,” Max told him all scowly; Billy guessed she'd looked it up.

“Yeah, gimme til then,” he said.

Max gave him a big long look. “Okay, fine,” she said finally. “You're _lucky_ that I like you.”

“Am I?” Billy said. “Look, you ready to go back in or what? You done bein' an asshole to your moms?”

“No, I'm still mad at her,” Max informed him; Billy didn't know if he should say it or think it but he was too. “Can we go see a movie or something?”

Billy didn't know why she thought they was hangin' out after she'd just told him to screw off and that he was a huge chicken asshole. “Okay,” he said anyway; he didn't have shit else to do but some fuckin' homework. She'd just said she liked him too.

He went back inside and got his keys. The house was all dark now; Susan'd locked herself in her bedroom all dramatic. Billy rolled his eyes. He'd been thinkin' Susan was okay but she was still pretty useless. What if he and Max'd decided to fuck off back to California. Max's sweatshirt was on the end of the couch so he grabbed that for her too.

Max stared at him with her big bug eyes once they got in the car. “Can we go and get Steve and Lucas?” she asked.

Billy licked his lips. “Yeah, if you don't say a buncha shit about my dad.”

“I won't!” Max yapped. She stared at him some more as he started driving; she was about the most frustrating person on the planet. “Can I really stay at your apartment sometimes?” she asked.

“I GUESS,” Billy said.

Max looked happy. “I think you should get a dishwasher,” she said.

 

The weekend went on and passed by. Really it wasn't too different having his dad back at the house; he and Maxine weren't home too much as it was anyway.

Friday night Billy had work and a basketball game; if Nancy Wheeler was there Billy didn't see her. Saturday he 'n Max spent all morning at the arcade; afterwards Maxine fucked off to her girl Beverly's house for the rest of the weekend and Billy went over to Harrington's. They watched two movies and hooked up three times; Steve was a fuckin' porn star and Billy was never gonna get with anyone else. It was past midnight when he crept back into his house totally fucked up. Jesus Christ. He kept replaying Steve touching him and sighing in his head; goddamn he was never gonna want anybody else.

Sunday morning Billy was eatin' cereal out on the couch and thinking about Steve while Susan and his old man were getting ready to go out to breakfast. Susan talked her head off to Billy while she was getting' her jacket on; Neil was leaned up against the front door watching them. Billy wondered if his old man was pickin' up on his gay thoughts. HAHA! Billy thought about Steve's huge pretty dick and his huge amazing hands and ate his cereal.

Susan was going on and on like he and Max hadn't made her cry in her room three days ago. “I need you to help me pick out a birthday present for Max, you know what she likes,” she told Billy.

Maxine was turning fifteen on April first; she was a fuckin' changeling and Billy'd always known it.

Billy ate his Froot Loops. He could feel his dad staring at him and he didn't know why he was looking. “Uh, she needs a new board,” he said to Susan. He and Harrington'd decided to go halfsies and get Max a CD player and some new music that didn't suck (Steve had a different opinion than Billy about what didn't suck but Billy was workin' on him). “She likes those Madrids, they're not too much money out at the mall.”

“Do they have pink ones?” Susan asked him. She sounded all serious; somehow Billy managed not to make a comment.

Susan took the keys off the wall and went off to start the car up; Billy's old man kept leaning and looking at him.

Billy ate his cereal. “You want somethin'?” he said.

His dad didn't answer him for a couple seconds. Billy could tell he was giving him a big look. He stared at the TV; _Scooby-Doo_ was on. “I don't need you interfering in my marriage again,” Neil said real slow; Billy knew it was gonna be the same crazy shit as always.

Billy ate his cereal. “I ain't do shit, you did that,” he said. “Maybe you could keep your wife happy if you wasn't a fuckin' racist – “

“Oh right, we never finished our talk about that, did we?”

“Leave me alone,” Billy said. His brain shook in his skull; he could feel his dad's fists poundin' on him. He knew his old man wasn't gonna start shit with him with Susan right there out in the car though. He'd told himself before that he was real tired; he wasn't scared. He had to stop being a fuckin' pussy. “Aren't you going out? I got shit to do.”

“What do you have to do?” Neil asked him. “Seems like you got a lot of time to sit around my house and run your mouth – “

Out in the driveway Susan beeped the horn; Billy kept on eating his cereal. “Your wife wants you,” he said.

Billy's dad stared at him some more. Really he was ruining Billy's TV experience; it was _Scooby-Doo Goes to Hollywood_ and Billy hadn't seen this shit for about six years. Daphne was still a piece of work.

“Guess we'll talk later,” Billy's dad said; there was a promise of a threat somewhere in there. Billy ate his cereal. Neil stared at him some more and finally left.

Billy went back over to Harrington's; he jerked Steve off in his kitchen and then Steve made him more food. They played basketball out in his front yard. Henderson and Rebecca came over at around six and they all went to the diner; Maxine and Lucas showed up conveniently five minutes apart. Billy figured they was keepin' up appearances too.

Max and Lucas were telling Dustin and his girl about the movie they'd all seen on Thursday night, _Night of the Creeps_ ; Billy hadn't been paying attention to it then and he wasn't payin' attention to it now. He kept looking at Harrington across from him playing with his wristwatch and pushing his hair behind his ears.

Billy wasn't super crazy experienced like he guessed Henderson and the kids thought but he'd been with a couple people, a couple girls. He couldn't think about Tracey now – she'd been different even if he’d never wanted to fuck her like crazy – but before, hooking up with people had been a big game to him. He got a big kick out of girls wanting him; he'd get bored with them two seconds after. It was like a kid's game to him or something, two steps and done. Once you won it you never wanted to play it again. Steve was so different than that too; Billy felt like he had no power. Just wanted to fuckin' look at him forever.

“Are you sick? You're not eating your fries,” Dustin yapped at him; Billy almost put his elbow in Max's plate of ketchup.

“I'm not really hungry.”

“Billy is watching his figure,” Maxine said like a shithead.

“Ooooh, do you have a lady to impress?” Henderson said. Steve started laughing because he was a fucking asshole.

Billy kicked him under the table; “OW!” said Lucas. Steve made a great face.

“Uh, yeah, I got someone in mind.”

“Oh my god, I knew it. Is it Marissa Thomas?”

“Who the fuck's that?” Billy said; Dustin looked at him like he was a huge dumbass.

Back at home Neil and Susan were watchin' a movie on the TV and Maxine glared up a storm. Susan wasn't lettin' her watch TV in her bedroom so Max stomped off to Billy's room; Billy got a big ol' look from his dad for that too. In his room Billy did his math homework while Maxine fucked around with the fancy record player Steve'd gotten him and bitched her head off. She talked all throughout _Rumors_ ; Billy lamented his life.

He gave her his notebook. “Can you check this for me?”

“Yeah, can you do my science for me?”

“I guess.” They traded books.

“You did everything right, are you gonna show Steve your report card?” Max asked him; she was the worst person.

“No, fuck off,” Billy lied.

“I hate it here, I actually can't wait to go to school tomorrow,” Max bitched her head off. “Bev's mom is drunk _all_ the time, I slept about two hours.”

Billy was fillin' out Max's periodic chart for her; he tried to make his handwriting as sloppy as hers to match. “Sounds like Trace's mom.”

“No, Mrs. Russo was way worse,” Max said. She rolled Billy's math notebook up in her hands. “Steve's mom seems nice.”

“She's okay.”

“I bet if you guys were boyfriends, Mrs. Harrington would take us skiing.”

Jesus God. “Why do you think we'd take you?” Billy asked her; Max scowled her head off. “Thought you ain't like snow.”

“It's different at a resort,” Max said with her womanly wisdom.

“Okay, whatever, can you get your mind outta the gutter for a fuckin' minute?”

Max made a horrible face at him. “I'm not in the gutter, you brat!”

“Whatever, pervert.”

Maxine switched topics, but not really. “If you get an apartment, is Steve going to be over all the time?”

“Yeah, I guess if he still – “ he'd almost slipped up and said _if he still wants to hook up_ ; he finished writin' in her notebook. “If he still wants to hang out or whatever.”

Max was laying and looking up at the ceiling; she hadn't noticed him hesitating. She furrowed her brow and looked real devious. “I've been thinking, I bet we can get him to buy you a lot of furniture,” she said. “Do you still have that black button-up shirt?”

 

* * *

Another week went by by. After work on Tuesday Billy drove himself home; it was a little past six when he got in. Max and Susan were watching TV together on the couch. “Dinner's on the stove,” Susan told him.

Billy's old man's car was in the driveway and he didn't want any bullshit; last Thursday his dad had almost clocked him in the kitchen. “I'm good,” he told Susan. He went off down the little hallway towards his room; his dad was just coming out of the bathroom. He stared Billy down as Billy went to go by him; in his head Billy heard him say _I don't need you interfering in my marriage_ again like a crazy person.

Neil stared at him as he went by; Billy couldn't help his fuckin' mouth. “You got somethin' to say to me?”

“I'm just waiting for you to start your shit with me again,” Neil told him. He reached out of nowhere and cracked Billy real hard in the mouth real fast; Billy's head went reeling back. His dad hit him again; less than a week in and he was starting his shit. “You truly never learn, do you?”

Something in Billy snapped; it was real small but it was the start of a fissure. It was a break that went all the way through him.

Maybe it was something about his dad being out of the house for once – not just out on business but actually locked out and beggin' Susan to come back; Maxine'd been so happy with him being gone. Maybe it was something about hangin' out with Max and her moms for damn near a month and bein' able to say what he wanted and do what he wanted; the girls were okay. Or maybe it was from fucking around with the creepy kids all the time – kids that wouldn't pop you in the eye in a minute if you said some bullshit. Kids who were always running around doing their queer shit throwing their arms around each other, acting like actual friends or somethin'. Max laying her head on him while they watched their movie or Steve holding his fucking wrist for two minutes – it was different than kissing and shit, sometimes was more important.

Maybe every single time a person touched you it didn't have to hurt. He'd had Tracey for a while but it'd been so long ago; he'd felt so bad for so long.

Billy was real tired. He was real tired of getting hit and he was real tired of feeling bad; he'd almost forgotten how it felt to get hit all the time.

He grabbed his dad by both arms and slammed him into the bathroom door, _hard._ “DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” he screamed. He slammed him again. “I AIN'T DO SHIT TO YOU, I NEVER DO SHIT TO YOU!”

He whirled away and stormed back down the hall and into the living room; Max and Susan were staring at him from the couch with wide eyes. Billy went right out the door without looking back.

He'd left his keys tossed on the coffee table. He didn't bother going back for them; he was pretty sure he wouldn't be leavin' again any time soon if he did that. He just kept walking and when he got to Main Street he stopped and looked around. His head was spinning and it felt like it'd taken about four minutes to hit the main drag which wasn't possible; was about a twenty-minute walk at the least. He couldn't believe he'd shoved his old man and screamed in his face; he was pretty sure he had about twelve hours left to live.

Billy'd never really shoved his dad back before. He'd been too small before, then he'd been too scared for forever. He guessed he'd kinda shoved his old man off him back last month when the thing with Max and Sinclair had happened; that was different though. He was real tired.

He didn't know where he was going; he knew where he wanted to go. Like usual he didn't want to bring his shit to Harrington but in about two more minutes he was at Steve's huge fancy mansion anyway. He stood for a moment standing on the sidewalk and looking up at the house; he forgot to breathe a couple times.

Billy went up and knocked on the door. Steve answered and let him in right away.

He stared at Billy for a couple seconds; he looked upset. “Hey, what – what happened to you? I just called your house, Max said you came home and left right away.”

“Got in a fight with my dad.” It wasn't really a fight; he'd just got hit like usual.

Steve's eyebrows went way up. “Uh, wait. Your dad came back home?”

“Yeah.”

Steve was still staring at him. “When?”

“Last week I think.”

“Okay, why didn't you tell me?”

“Dunno.”

Steve was getting the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows; Jesus Billy hated him looking like that. He guessed maybe it was part of why he hadn't told him. Steve'd freak the fuck out if Billy told him he was getting wrinkles or some shit. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, 'm fine.”

“Your nose is … bleeding pretty bad,” Steve pointed out; Billy wiped it on his sleeve.

“I'm okay.”

Steve was biting his lip and he had his arms crossed like a den dad. “God,” he said. “Bill, I just – “

“You wanna hang out or somethin’?” Billy asked a little desperately. He was just standing there like a dumb asshole with his hands in his pockets and his nose bleedin’.

“Yeah, I – yeah, sure. That's why I called you.”

“Okay.” Billy just kept standing there like a big dumb kid. It was like he couldn’t think what to do. Steve looked at him for a moment longer and then grabbed at his arm; Billy tried real hard and managed not to flinch. Steve led him into the kitchen and gave him a towel for his face.

Billy wiped at his nose until he stopped bleeding; Steve was just looking at him. “Okay,” he said finally. “‘M okay.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” Steve said in a weird voice. “You – uh, he cut your eyebrow too. I guess.”

Billy scrubbed at his eye; he hadn't even noticed. It didn’t hurt too bad. Was like the third or fourth time his dad'd got his eye this year; he was waiting to get a big scar. After so many years his old man didn't even need to aim. “S’fine.”

Steve reached out like to touch his face; Billy shrugged him away. Steve made a face and leaned back against the counter.  “Man, I'm getting really tired of you getting hit all the time,” he said in his weird voice.

“How you think I feel?”

“Sorry,” Steve said. “I didn't mean – “

Billy interrupted him. “Hey. C'n I use your phone?”

“Uh. Sure, yeah.” Steve followed him into the living room; it made Billy feel weird standing there. Steve handed him the corded phone like he was a baby. “Who you gonna call?” he asked. Billy smiled for a second and Steve rolled his eyes and laughed. “Okay, yeah, no one can say that sentence ever again.”

Billy sat down on the couch and dialed his house line; if his dad or Susan picked up he was plannin' on just hanging up. Maxine answered though like he knew she would.

“Hello?” Max said all out of breath.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Uh – hold on – “ there was a couple seconds of static; Max was takin' the phone into her room. “Hey, what happened?” she asked him. “Where'd you go?”

“M'at Harrington's.”

“I figured. Did Neil hit you again?”

“Cracked me in the face once.”

“Oh my god, Mom is going to _flip out_ – “

“No, hey, don't say shit to your moms,” Billy told her. Steve was standing next to the couch and kinda staring down at him; it was making Billy feel weird as shit still. He felt a little stupid for running here and wantin' to call home right away. He'd just wanted to call. “What's he doin', he freakin' out?” he asked Max.

“No, he's in the kitchen being a huge creep,” Max whispered to him. “He came out of the hallway all mad and wanted to go after you, he and my mom started yelling at each other a lot.”

“Okay.” Billy chewed his lip. He didn't want to tell Maxine he was checkin' up on her or whatever. He guessed it was pretty obvious.

“What did you do?”

He scoffed. “Didn't do nothing.”

“I didn't mean – “

“He gets bad, call me here, okay?”

“Okay, I will,” Max said in a weird little voice. She sounded about ten goddamn years old again, sounded so small. For a second Billy felt real bad for some reason; it rose up over him like a blanket of thorns. He swallowed hard and got control of himself. Didn't need to do this shit tonight. “You – are you gonna come home tonight?”

“Yeah, I'll be back.”

“Okay,” Max said again in her little voice; Billy rubbed his eyes.

“Just call me if he gets bad, I'll come back.”

“I think we'll be okay.”

“Okay.” Billy didn't know what to say so he just hung up. He gave the phone back to Steve who was still looking at him. “What you wanna do? You wanna watch TV or somethin'?”

“I – yeah, sure.” Steve put the phone back on the end table and sat down. He was chewing his lip; he picked up the remote. They watched the TV for a few minutes, was some game show.

Billy wasn't really paying attention to the TV; he was so dizzy. He looked at Steve for a couple minutes. Steve made him less dizzy. Steve looked back at him. “You look real nice,” Billy told him.

Steve made a face and looked at him funny, then he smiled. He was just wearin' one of his little t-shirts. Billy thought he had such nice arms. “Uh, thanks,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Billy said; he didn't know why Harrington was asking him that. He thought about it. “You wanna hook up with me?”

“Uh – “ Steve laughed. “Is that what you want to do?”

“I always wanna hook up with you,” Billy told him. “Your parents comin' home or what?”

“No, we're good, my mom's at her sister's.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “So you wanna?”

Steve laughed again, but only a little bit. He looked like Billy was being funny again. “I – yeah, I always wanna hook up with you too,” he said.

“Okay,” Billy said. He pulled Steve onto his lap; was where he usually liked him.

“Okay, we're doing that,” Steve said. He put his hands on Billy's shoulders; he ran his hand through his hair and touched his face. “You know, we don't have to – “

“Why you talkin'?” Billy whined; he pulled Steve a little closer and aligned their hips.

“Ohgod, okay,” Steve said. He leaned in and pressed his lips against Billy's throat. “Thought about you all day,” he murmured.

Billy swallowed. “Yeah, me too,” he said. He had, he always was. He breathed in and out twice with Steve kissing him; he was okay. He slid his hands over Steve's amazing hips and bunched his fists up in his little t-shirt.

Steve kept kissing his neck and up his jaw like a fuckin' tease. Billy moaned when he finally got to his mouth. Steve's lips were so soft; Billy needed him so bad. He kept forgetting to breathe. Sometimes he wished he could crawl out of his body and look at Harrington while they were hookin' up; he looked so amazing and there was so much to see. He kept touching Steve's back and his stomach and sliding his hands up his sides.

“Ahh, okay,” Steve said and laughed when Billy ran his hands up his stomach; his chest hitched and he inched away. Billy did it again; Steve shuddered.

“You ticklish?”

“No, I'm not,” Steve lied. He leaned in again and curled his tongue into Billy's mouth. Billy moaned again; he couldn't help it. “Mmm,” Steve said. He made the best sounds. Billy slid his hands down and into the pockets of Steve's jeans; he grabbed Steve's ass and ground him down against himself. Steve breathed out harshly and bit his lip too hard.

Steve's tongue was still in his mouth and time was doing that weird slow-drip thing it did whenever he got with Harrington. Billy's head was spinning like usual; it was almost too much. He kept forgetting to breathe and it felt like he was drowning. It was a good way to go. Even so he started counting down the seconds until he had to take a breath. He ran his hands down Steve's back over and over again; he was so heavy. When Steve slid his tongue against his again Billy's whole chest stuttered.

Steve pulled back a couple inches. “Bill. You okay?”

“Mm? Yeah,” Billy said.

“Uh. You're going all zombie on me.”

“What? No, m'okay.” He leaned in and bit the hollow of Steve's throat; Steve sighed and moved closer again. Billy got his hand in his hair and kissed him some more; he was tryin' to get all of his three favorite freckles. Steve was right here and he was okay. He breathed in and out again; he clutched at Steve's back and at his waist and pulled him in as tight as possible. He was right here.

Steve breathed out again. “God, you're so – “ He reached out to touch Billy's face; Billy reached out and slapped his hand away, too hard. He hadn't meant to, just did it. “I – okay – “

“Fuck. Sorry.” Billy opened his eyes; Steve was shifting away.

“Are you all right? Did I hurt your eye or something?”

“What?” Billy said. He felt frozen; he hadn't meant to do that. “No. I.“ He didn't know what he wanted to say.

Steve was pulling away some more and that wasn't what Billy wanted either. “Uh, okay, yeah, you're not okay.”

“What?” Billy said again; his chest was starting to burn and it wasn't because Steve was too hot like usual or something. “I'm fine.”

“Uh, we don't have to – “

“No no no, I'm good,” Billy told him; he got Steve pinned back in place. “I didn't mean to do that. Start over, okay?”

Steve's eyes were big and dark looking at him. He was so close but Billy felt real dizzy; he closed his eyes. Steve touched his face so Billy kept his eyes closed; he didn't smack him away this time. “Hey, we don't have to do anything,” Steve said.

“I'm fine, man,” Billy said again. “I just. I, uh – “ He tried to clear his throat and couldn't even do that.

“Okay,” Steve said. “Yeah, you're okay.”

Billy was always okay; his breath shuddered in his chest. Fuck. Fuck. He didn't want to do this here; didn't mean to do this here. He felt weird as fuck with Steve looking at him; he felt so small. “I, uh – “ he wrapped his hand around Steve's wrist and pulled his hand away from his face. “Uh. Sorry. C'n you – get offa me for a second – ”

“Yep – sorry – “ Steve slid off of him. Billy could feel the dip in the couch as Steve shifted over and sat next to him; the whole thing bounced and for a second he felt like he was going to blow chunks. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

He could just feel Steve sitting beside him; he had to remind himself to breathe. Oh fuck it was bad. There was something wrong with him. “Uh – just gimme a second.”

“Okay,” Steve said from somewhere a billion years away. Billy pressed his palms into his eyelids; he could feel his body thumping away from him.

“Can still hook up,” he managed. “I just, uh, need a sec – “

“Oh my god, OKAY,” Steve said like a crazy person; Billy could barely hear him. He was feelin' his heartbeat in his ears. “Bill, we don't have to do anything, you're fine.”

Billy didn't answer him for a couple seconds. He bit his lip too hard. He could taste blood but sometimes that just happened and there was no blood. There was something really wrong with him. He felt the same way he had when he'd been hearin' Max's little voice on the phone but way worse; he felt that blanket covering him again. Was so dark and was too much, black and shooting lights. He kept tryin' to breathe around it. Felt so stupid. “Sorry – I just – “

“Yeah, that’s okay.”

“Uh, I just – I get like this sometimes – “

“Bill, that's okay,” Steve said again in a really weird voice; Billy was pretty sure he was thinkin' up eighty ways to dump him. “Do you need me to – do something – ?”

“No, I – maybe stop talkin' – “

“Yeah, you know that's never gonna happen,” Steve said; Billy'd laughed if he could ever fucking breathe again. He took in two breaths but it felt like nothing was happening; he told himself _you're fine you're fine you're fine_. Once he'd got himself so worked up as a kid he'd actually passed out; he did not want to do that shit here. He could feel Steve staring at him and felt like such a stupid bitch. He kept his head in his hands. Steve said slowly, “This happened – you did this before. In my car.”

Billy choked out a laugh through his hands. “S'real sexy, right.” At least Steve'd got him talkin'; he still knew he was just on Harrington's couch and not falling through the walls or some shit.

“I just, uh – don't know what to do – “

“Just need a minute.”

“Okay.” Steve sat and stared at him for a while longer; Billy could feel it burning through him. After a couple minutes he stopped feeling like he was underwater and like he was chokin' on his breath. He sat up a little and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry,” he managed to say.

“Yeah – that's okay.” Steve shifted around beside him. “Okay, I – uh, can I touch you?”

Billy looked at him out of the corner of his eye; Steve'd just fuckin' said they didn't have to do anything. Then he realized he was being a goddamn lunatic and Steve just meant _touch you_ like a normal person; Jesus Billy was fucking insane. “Yeah, you can touch me.”

“Okay.” Steve hesitated and then he reached out and put his arm around Billy's shoulders; Billy shuddered without meaning to and put his head back in his hands. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Billy said; he guessed it was okay. Felt so dizzy and tired.

“Okay,” Steve said again. He squeezed Billy's shoulder and then ran his hand through the back of his hair. “Hey, you're okay,” he said all soft like he was talkin' to a kitten he'd found in the rain or some shit; Billy couldn't even answer him.

“I can go home if you want.”

“You, I – no, okay,” Steve said. “Okay, c'mere.” He was pulling on Billy's arm; Billy didn't know what to do so he just followed. “C'mere.” Billy laid his head against Steve's shoulder. Steve ran his hand down his side. “You're okay, man.”

“Sorry,” Billy said again.

“No, I shouldn't have, uh, I thought you were upset so I shouldn't have – “

“Wasn't upset,” Billy mumbled. “Uh, just happens sometimes. Sorry.”

“No, you're okay.” Steve kept on petting his side; felt real nice. Billy leaned against him and breathed real slow until the room stopped spinning. Steve pulled him some more and Billy shifted around; he ended up laying on top of him with Steve stretched out under him on the sofa cushions. Steve wiggled up until he was laying with his shoulders against the arm of the couch. He freed his trapped arm from against the back of it and started petting Billy's hair.

Billy wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and locked his hands together under him. Steve kept on petting his hair; Billy closed his eyes and listened to the TV for a while. Steve's hand felt real nice stroking down against his hair and his neck but he still felt real shaky; was like a bunch of electricity going through him, not the sexy kind. He kept forgetting to breathe and he had to keep on counting when he should inhale. Was about the worst thing when you remembered you had to breathe; felt like you'd never stop tickin' out the numbers.

They laid there for a while. Steve's hand drifted down his hair down to his back; he started rubbing small circles onto Billy's shoulders. It felt so good Billy about wanted to cry; no one'd touched him like this in a while. Steve's pointy hipbones were digging into his stomach. After a long time Steve said, “You okay?”

“Think so,” Billy mumbled. He burrowed his head into Steve's chest and looked at the TV; Steve rested his chin against Billy's head. “Sorry,” he said again. “Can still hook up if you want.”

“Oh my god, we don't have to do that every time,” Steve told him. “I didn't make out with you a month ago, I still liked hangin' around with you.”

Billy guessed that was true enough; he kept forgetting that part. He was so scared of Steve figurin' out he wasn't worth it that he'd forgot they was actual friends before. “Don't wanna bother you.”

Steve scraped his chin against Billy's temple; he needed to shave too. “Yeah, you're not bothering me.”

“I just – “

“Big secret, I love cuddling,” Steve told him. “I need constant attention so this, yeah, works for me, I am always the big spoon.”

“Uh.” Billy squeezed his arms around Steve's waist. “Yeah, think I'm layin' on you, that means I'm – “

“Shut up, I'm bigger, I'm always the big spoon,” Steve said severely; Billy grinned without meaning to.

“Whatever,” he said. Steve kept on rubbing his shoulder; Billy closed his eyes. “I can go home if you want.”

“Why, so I can watch _Dateline_ all by myself and have a huge asthma attack?”

“Shut the fuck up, you don't have that,” Billy said in delight.

Steve combed his hand through Billy's hair. “Oh my god, I forget you don't actually know shit about me,” he said. “Everyone else I know's known me since I was about two. It’s not like bad anymore, I don’t have an inhaler or anything. You should come watch me run track three or four miles and then say I don't have asthma, you'll probably cream your pants again.”

“Okay, I know enough about you,” Billy said.

“I was really cool.”

“You are cool,” Billy told him; he felt like Elijane sittin’ in the shop or something. Shit he needed to go and see that kid. He thought about it. “Can we go back to the track thing? What you wearin' in this scenario?”

Steve laughed. “You're such a pervert, shut up.”

“Ain't that what you like about me?”

“Yeah, one thing,” Steve murmured; he ran his hands through Billy's hair again. Billy felt real okay. He closed his eyes again.

When he opened them again Steve was gasping over _Dateline_ and Billy didn't know what was going on. Steve's hand was still in his hair. “S'it?” he said.

“Oh my god, I think you drooled on me, they kept this girl in a box for seven years,” Steve said in a horrified tone.

“What?”

“It's breaking news, this happened like two years ago in your California heaven. I'm going to have nightmares, I don't need to go to the beach anymore,” Steve told him.

Billy didn't really understand any of those sentences together. “What time's it?” he mumbled.

“Mm. Like almost ten,” Steve said; he was still watching the TV. Billy wriggled up and kissed him on the mouth; Steve moved his hand against the back of his neck. He was smiling. “Hi.”

“Mm,” Billy said. “Hey.” He kissed Steve again real slow; he guessed he really had been asleep.

Steve was so warm like usual and his mouth was so soft. Steve was always so hot. He was like a furnace or something. It was so cold here in Hawkins; Billy needed him.

They kissed for a while. Billy felt like he was getting lost. The room was dark aside from the light of the TV; there was just the _Dateline_ announcer talkin' and the quiet sounds of their mouths together. It felt different than usual: Billy wasn't freaking out or kissing him to try and get him off or to stop him from changing his mind. It was just real slow. He traced over Steve's lips with his own and slicked his tongue into his mouth. Billy felt all of Steve's amazing sounds going down into his chest; he could kept them in there. Steve put his hand on the side of Billy's face and curled his fingers around his jaw.

 _Dateline_ ended and an infomercial came blaring on too loud; they both jerked for a second and Steve grinned against his mouth. Billy slid down a little and laid his head back against Steve's chest. Steve put his arms around him again; Billy didn't feel like moving.

After a couple of minutes he guessed he had to; that stupid clock was chimin' away for a million years. Billy counted twelve strikes. “I gotta go home.”

“Okay,” Steve said; neither of them moved. “You know, you can stay over. If you wanted.”

Billy didn't say anything for a moment. He guessed he wanted. He didn't feel like thinkin' about that though. The thought of waking up at Steve's house was definitely way too much; he always crept outta here at like one am so's he didn't have to deal with that morning-after shit.

He sat up a little. Steve was lookin' at him with his big dark eyes.

“I gotta take Max to school in the mornin'.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said. “I'm just saying. If you wanted.”

Billy leaned down and kissed him again; Steve laughed because he was great at ruining the mood. He ran his hands down Billy's whole back and made him shake; he gripped hard at his shoulders when Billy pushed down against him. Goddamnit now he kinda wanted to hook up again; he was pretty sure he could. It felt different than all of the other times. Billy didn't feel like he was gonna die if he didn't get it; just didn’t want to leave him.

After a while he started getting really worked up anyhow. He sat up and pulled away before he could start gibbering and drooling and telling Steve how hot he was; Jesus God it was the start of another emotion or some shit.

Steve sat up too. He leaned over and wrapped his hand around the back of Billy's neck. His hands were so big; Billy was almost sure that fuckin' song was about a guy.

“Okay. You gonna go?”

“Guess so,” Billy said; they ended up making out for another five minutes. “Okay. I gotta go, man.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said. He leaned over and rested his chin on Billy's shoulder for a couple seconds; goddamnit it he was too fuckin' cute. He played around with Billy's wristwatch for a couple seconds. He slid his hand down and interlocked their fingers.

Billy stared down at their hands locked together. He pulled his hand away and rubbed his face. “Fuck.”

“Uh, what?” Steve said; he sounded real weird in two seconds. “Sorry, I – okay, we don't have to do that – “

“No, that's not what I – “ Billy reached out and grabbed at Steve's hand again; he felt like a piece of shit in two seconds. “No, you’re fine.”

“Okay,” Steve said still in the weird voice. “I just – “

“Shut up for a fuckin' second,” Billy begged him. He licked his lips and huffed out hard; he was thinkin' about Steve and thinkin’ about all the stupid shit Maxine'd been saying about him for a couple months. He thought about her saying _Steve likes you, at least he did until two weeks ago!_ and callin' him a huge chicken asshole and saying, _kissing, holding hands!_ He thought how Steve'd just held him for about fucking two hours and felt like a dumb piece of shit; he'd been acting he didn't know what was going on with them. He scowled again, probably even made some sound.

“Okay, are you having a seizure or something?” Steve was real close staring at him.

“No, you asshole,” Billy told him. He glared at the TV and squeezed Steve's hand hard. “I just gotta – uh, I gotta fuckin' take Max to see George Michael.”

Steve said, “Wait, _what?_ ”

 

 


	10. Chapter Ten (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henderson made a face and batted the cupcake wrapper away. “I thought you'd be more excited about this, this is what you wanted!”  
> “Uh, yeah, no it's not, I never said that.”  
> “WHAT THE HELL, STEVE! I ran all the way over here to tell you!”  
> Rebecca was putting their presents on the coffee table; she'd finally stopped yapping away to Max. “No he did not, I drove him here in his mom's car,” she said.  
> “That's an irrelevant detail,” said Dustin; Rebecca pinched him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys, I suck, this chapter is going to be two parts too. I was stressing myself out like crazy about the length so I decided to cut it in half. Hopefully won't have to wait too long for the next part. I had so much Steve/Billy stuff that I wanted to put in. I tried to cut some but I've been waiting forever to get to this crap; I might as well indulge myself! This is probably the least action-y chapter. I've read over this like 12 times and I still can't objectively tell if it sucks.
> 
> ALSO, ARCTIC_WOLF MADE ME A FANVID AND IT'S [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058462) AND IT IS THE CUTEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. It cured my anxiety, cleansed my pores, and enabled me to write the last 6k to finish this.

**Chapter Ten (part one)**

 

 _Home in the valley, home in the city_  
_Home isn't pretty, ain't no home for me_  
_Home in the darkness, home on the highway_  
_Home isn't my way, home I'll never be_  
_Burn out the day_  
_Burn out the night_  
_I can't see no reason to put up a fight_  
_I'm living for giving the devil his due_  
_And I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you_  
\-- ‘Burnin’ For You,’ Blue Oyster Cult  
  
  
**April 1987**

 

Hopper found him the same night that he had his freak-out at Harrington's; Billy could already tell it was gonna be a real exciting month for him. By the time Steve had stopped yellin' about Billy and Max's bet it had been way past one am; it was April first. He hadn't been that mad; he hadn't even dropped Billy's hand or anything (“Wait – so, so hang on,” Steve said in the middle of a rant about how Billy and Max both were terrible twisted people, “why does she get so much more shit than you?” “She doesn't,” Billy said). He seemed to mostly think it was a joke and not something that Billy'd been being tortured over for the last three months. That was okay, Billy figured.

Steve walked him to the front door and leaned against the side of it; he was still holding Billy's hand like he was a little kid. He made one of his squinty faces. “I can drive you home if you want,” he said for the second time.

Really Billy didn't really need Harrington to drive him home like he was a goddamn girl and kiss him on his front porch or some shit. He was still kinda trying not to freak himself out again. “Why, so you can yell at me some more?” he said; Steve rolled his eyes a little. “Don't need my dad to see you.”

“Oh, right. I mean, yeah, you're right.” Steve finally released Billy's hand and opened up the door; Billy started down the steps. “Are you gonna be okay at home?”

“Sure, yeah,” Billy said. He said, “Don't think about the girl in the box.”

Steve made a great face. “Jesus, I – “

Haha! “See you later,” Billy interrupted before he could start. “Be at the diner, okay? It's Max's birthday, you can buy us somethin'.”

“Sure, okay.” Steve was just lookin' at him from the door; when Billy turned back to glance at him he was frowning a little and his eyebrows were drawn down. “Hey, just – uh, be careful, okay?”

“What, you worried about me?”

“No, asshole,” said Steve like a sulky bitch.

“Gonna give me your monster weapon?”

“Uh, do you want it?” Steve asked; somehow Billy managed not to make a crack about his huge dick.

Off down the street and into the night he went. It was colder out than before and his body felt strange and heavy now that he wasn't wrapped around Harrington or holdin' his hand or whatever. Was a fuckin' pussy way to think but Billy couldn't help it. It was nice to do that shit sometimes; he'd forgotten about it.

Steve only lived about fifteen minutes away from the main drag walking; Billy wandered down Broad Street and rounded onto Main. You could see the shop from here and the general store down on other end of the block. The streetlamps were on but even so it was pretty dark and quiet. No one else was out; even the bars here in Hawkins closed before midnight. Everything was real still; Billy could never decide if it was peaceful or creepy.

He walked down past the comic shop and the pharmacy with its flickering neon sign. He was just flicking his lighter to light up a cig when he heard the sound of a car. A big police Jeep turned down off Redwood Lane; Billy lamented his life.

The Jeep turned its red-and-blue lights on and Billy lamented his life even more. He stood and watched as the car pulled up next to him. The window rolled down all slow like a horror movie. It was Hopper.

“Hargrove, just the person I wanted to see on my patrol,” the chief drawled; Billy sighed in his head for a thousand years. “What kinda shit you pullin' now?”

“I ain't doing nothing,” he told Hop. He blew some smoke out of his nose.

“You look like a fuckin' demon standing out here,” Hopper told him; he was too sweet. “Where are you coming from?”

Billy smoked his cigarette. He guessed he really didn't need to start some shit with any police officials at one in the morning. “I'm just walkin' home, I ain't doing nothing,” he said again.

Hopper just stared at him. “Where are you coming from?” he repeated.

Billy rolled his eyes. “I was at Steve Harrington's.”

“Huh, you sure seem to like hangin' around with Steve Harrington at around one in the morning,” Hop commented. Billy didn't answer him; Hopper stared some more. “Get in, I'll give you a ride.”

“Uh, yeah thanks, I'm good,” Billy said.

“Funny, I wasn't really asking you,” Hopper told him. “Get in, we need to have another one of our heart-warming chats. I've been looking for you, asshole.”

Christ the chief really knew how to flatter a guy. Billy stamped out his cig and went around to the passenger side and climbed in. The chief said, “Yeah, we gotta talk about some things.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

Hop stared at him again; he kind of looked like a serial killer at one in the morning. He put the Jeep back in drive and looked at him some more. He rubbed his jaw. “So what happened to your face?” he said finally.

Billy didn't answer for a couple seconds. “Got in a fight,” he said; it wasn't really a lie.

“Right, okay,” Hopper said. He shifted in his seat and drummed his hands against the steering wheel. Billy glanced over at him; the chief looked like he wished he was smoking about four cigarettes at once. He was just looking at Billy and Billy couldn't tell what he was thinkin'. “You got somethin' you want to tell me about?”

“Not really.”

“Jesus.” Hopper started off down the main drag. The headlights of the Jeep looked so bright against the black of the street. “You know you're worse than your goddamn sister.”

“What you know about it?” Maxine was a little shit and she was too much but he couldn't really see her runnin' her mouth off to Hopper.

“All right, first off, I'm the fucking police chief of this town,” Hop told him. “Also I got a damn little kid with mind powers, I think I kinda know a little bit about everything that goes on here.”

Billy didn't say anything. Shit he really hoped that Hopper didn't know everything. “You get knocked around or something?” the chief asked him; Billy knew what he meant.

“It ain't that bad.”

Hop did light up a cigarette then; Billy watched him blow some smoke out his window. He wasn't looking at Billy now. Hopper licked his lips. “You know I can't help either of you if you don't say shit.”

“I can handle it.”

“Sure, okay. I guess you can.” Hopper smoked some more.

“That what you wanna talk to me about?”

“I don't actually want to talk to you at all,” Hop told him; Billy'd laugh if he wasn't kinda fuckin' terrified. “Seems like you got a habit goin' round with little girls making promises to them, I've been hearing your work is the new hot spot for my daughter.”

“I ain't doin' nothing to her,” Billy said right away.

Hopper made a face and looked over at him in disgust. “Jesus _Christ._ Look, I know that, okay?”

“Okay,” Billy said too.

The chief rubbed his face; he looked real annoyed in two seconds. “Christ,” he said again. “You're a _fucking_ piece of work, you know that?” He smoked his cigarette and turned off of Main Street; he went right down Dearborn instead of left towards Billy's house. Billy guessed they really were gonna have one of their heart-warming chats.

Hopper drove in silence for a few moments; Billy stared ahead at the road. Finally the chief spoke again. “You know she got out again last weekend,” he said. He was staring out at the road too and Billy kept glancing over at him. Sounded like they was talking about a damn cat or something. “Found her in Wrigley Park in the middle of the night. You know anything about that? Did she go to see you?”

Billy tried to think of what he'd been doing last weekend in the middle of the night. He was pretty sure he'd been hooking up with Harrington in his fancy bedroom with some faggy pop record playing. Steve had lube in his room; was about the best place on the planet, not that they even made it up there half the time. Okay anyway that wasn't what the chief was asking about. “No, I ain't seen her for a minute,” Billy said. He felt guilty as fuck again; probably it wasn't like the kid gave a shit but he thought again about how he'd been meaning to see her.

“Okay, great,” said Hopper. He rubbed his jaw again.

“The hell's going on with her anyway?” Billy asked him; he was looking out at the road too. “I thought she was done with that shit.”

“Your guess is as good as mine, you ever talk to her for two minutes?” Hop said. “Can't get a goddamn thing out of her if she doesn't want you to. Jesus, my kid never – “ he stopped. Billy didn't know what he was talking about; he waited. Hop said, “I'm taking care of it.”

“Okay,” Billy said too. Hopper turned and finally looked at him; Billy feared for his life and amended that to a, “Yes sir.”

“You know what, it's not like I keep her locked up or anything. I don't know what all you hear hanging out with Mike Wheeler all the time,” the chief told him; Billy had no clue why he was tellin' him. He felt deeply insulted by Hop insinuating that he hung around Wheeler Jr all the time too but decided to keep that to himself. “I have got _so much shit_ I have to do, and I've _fucking told her_ – I don't keep her from her family. Her aunt talks to her, you know, she calls her every Saturday. Calls collect too, runs my goddamn phone bill up.”

“Yes sir,” Billy said.

“How they talk for two hours when the kid says about four goddamn words, your guess is as good as mine,” Hopper went on. “I don't keep her from her mother, I've taken her to see her before. It's not safe for her, you understand that?”

“Yes sir,” Billy said.

“Took her to see her last Christmas, took her out there for Mother's Day, you know usually I go and see my ex-wife.”

Mother's Day had been almost a year ago; Billy didn't say anything. The chief went on: “I was going to take her, I don't keep her locked up.”

“Yes sir.”

“Now it's, you know, no no no no, I don't need you to take me, I don't want you, you _lie_ , you make shit up, she really said _shit_ to me,” Hopper told him like it was some travesty; he looked real pissed again off in two seconds. “Goddamn kid, she thinks she's grown. Now it's – ah, it's Billy said this, Billy said that, I want Billy, I want Mike, I'm gonna go see my mom, _you_ can go, _I_ don't care. You guys caused a lot of _shit_ for me.”

“Didn't mean to do that,” Billy said. “Sorry.” Felt like he'd fuckin' said sorry about eighty times tonight but he was fearin' for his life again and all. “Made me promise her and shit.”

“Yeah, she does that.”

He thought about it; he didn't know what the chief wanted from him. It was totally fucked up but shit had been a lot easier back two hours ago when he hadn't been able to catch his breath on Steve's couch. “I don't got to take her or anything – “

“No, you _do_ got to take her, actually,” Hopper told him; he looked real pissed off again real fast. “You _do_ got to take her, and I have to go with you now, I'm never gonna hear the end of it. Looks like you and me are gonna become real good friends.”

Billy saw his whole life flash before his eyes; Hopper was lurking behind every corner and he'd never get to do any coke again. He stared out at the dark road. “Yeah, all right,” he said. Hop had done a big loop around the block; they'd crossed over Main again and they were almost back to Billy's house.

“You know, she likes you for some reason,” Hopper told him. “Hell if I know why.”

“She's an okay kid,” Billy said.

“She's never really been a kid. I'm sorry I can't let her be a kid.” Hop parked down the street from his house and smoked his third cigarette. “Wants me to tell you she needs some book too. God forbid I go out and buy it.”

“Okay.”

Hopper kept on smoking. “I'll let you know when we're gonna go, should be around the end of the month.”

“Okay.” Billy said again; Hopper stared at him again. “Yes sir.”

“You see anything weird around here, you let me know. Tell your sister too.”

Like usual Billy had no clue what he was talkin' about. “What you talkin' about, weird like what?”

“Anything, anything fucking weird. You see any cars from out of state driving around, you let me know. You see anything.”

“People still lookin' for her or somethin'?”

“I hope not,” said Hop. He put his cigarette out right on the windowpane. “All right. Guess I'm done with you for now.”

“Yeah, okay.” Billy unclicked his seat belt and put his hand on the doorhandle.

“Oh yeah, wait. One more thing,” Hop said. He looked like he wanted to be smokin' about six more cigarettes. “Tell, ah, tell your buddy Steve Harrington that if he wants to hook up with someone in his fancy Beamer at the lake right across from my house, maybe he should turn his fucking headlights off first.”

Billy stared blankly; he was seein' his whole life flash before his eyes again. This time there was no coke and no Steve's amazing dick in his mouth either. He felt totally frozen. He didn't say anything.

Hopper continued: “Look, I don't know what damn girl he's going around seeing and I really don't care. You know I almost went up and bashed his damn window in before I realized it was him and realized I didn't give a shit? Tell him he's too old for that crap, okay? Shouldn't do that shit where anyone can see it.” He stared at Billy and said, “You get what I'm saying?”

Billy licked his lips. “Right,” he said slowly. He had no clue if the chief was fuckin' with him, didn't know why he would be. “Yeah. I'll, uh – I'll tell 'im.”

“Okay, all right. Get out of here.” Hopper stared at him as he opened the door and climbed out of the Jeep. He was givin' him a real meaningful look now and it made Billy feel like he was in a cage or something. His face was all fucked up again; the chief had been lookin' at him too long and it made him feel kinda crazy. Hop said, “You and Max need something, I guess you call me then too. You know. If you can't _handle it_ anymore.”

Billy knew what he was talking about but he still didn't feel like starting shit. “Yeah I will,” he lied.

“All right,” the chief said again. He turned his lights off and sat parked while Billy walked down the street to his house; he felt weirder and weirder with every step.

His old man's car was in the driveway and the house was all dark. He tried to be as quiet as possible when he went in anyway. No one jumped out from the hallway to kick his ass and he was safe for the night at least.

Billy locked up the front door and put crazy Hopper behind himself for the night too; fucking shit Harrington was going to flip out _again_ when Billy told him they'd almost gotten caught. He guessed he had to tell him.

Fuckin' headlights. Jesus Christ they were both dumber than a bag of hair; granted Billy hadn't known the chief's house was right across from the lake. Harrington had to have known so he was still dumber. At least there was that.

Billy was still pretty dumb. He got too fucking stupid around Steve; he couldn't think straight. Haha. Sometimes he couldn't even stop himself to think if something was a good idea or a real bad one, if they should kiss there or not. All that mattered was Harrington right in front of him talking or laughing or teasing him. Christ they had to be more careful.

Maxine was sleeping on his floor when he got into his room. He was still thinkin' about how fucking dumb Steve made him; he nearly tripped and stomped her head.

Billy looked down at her and rubbed his eyebrow. It stung sharply and made him flinch; he'd forgotten about the cut. He wondered what'd happened that'd made her feel the need to come in and sleep on his floor. Thought about waking her up but decided against it; after another few seconds he climbed over her and collapsed on his bed. He wrapped his arms around his pillow.

Max woke up anyway and sat up like a crazy person. “Billy? Is that you?”

“Who else would fuckin' it be?” he asked her. He thought about it. “Happy birthday, asshole.”

“Oh, thanks,” said Max; she sounded about half-asleep still. “Can I stay in here?”

“I guess so. You okay?”

“Yeah.” She sounded weird; Billy could hear her shifting around on the carpet. Max said, “Uh, _Dateline_ was really creepy, did you watch it at Steve's?”

 

* * *

 

Maxine started working over at the general store with Joyce Byers that same day right on her birthday. She'd had all her damn paperwork filled out for a couple weeks already and was raring to go. Honestly Billy was kinda impressed with her even though he'd never say it; Susan said that Max and Billy had the same work ethic and made them roll their eyes all over the breakfast table.

Billy took her to work right after school. Max was all excited and talked his head off the whole drive back to Main Street; Joyce was gonna show her how to use the scan gun. She hadn't even wanted to go home to see if she had a present waitin' for her from her moms or anything. Billy's old man was still home so he didn't blame her. They'd got up super late to avoid him; still had to eat Susan's terrible birthday breakfast though.

Maxine needed to stop sleeping in his fucking room like a weird person. She was gonna get his ass beat again doing that shit; she wasn't a kid anymore.

He parked on the sidewalk midway between the two stops on Main. “How late are you working, should I just come over to the garage when I'm done or should I meet you?” Max asked him; she was unclicking her seatbelt.

“I guess,” Billy said. He'd felt okay enough this morning but now he was tired from listenin' to everybody at school and his eye hurt. He was tired of looking like shit all the time too; Henderson'd been pokin' away at him in study hall and Velma from that Halloween party had sat with him and looked at him too much. Billy hadn't felt like flirtin' with her today.

“What's that mean, you _guess?_ ” Maxine huffed and demanded like she was his damn mom. “When are you done? I told Steve to be at Mike's at eight!” She added like he was dumb, “The pizza place, not Mike's house!”

“How the hell you talk to Harrington?”

Max gave him a look. “Dustin calls him during lunch on Wednesday, remember? I had a message relayed.”

“Jesus.” Billy sighed; Max laughed at him.

“So can you be done by then or what?” Christ she looked like she was about to slug him.

“Yeah, I'll be done, I gotta work on this new truck we got in yesterday.”

“What kind of truck? Is it totaled? Are you going to make like five hundred dollars again? You're not going to forget to meet me, are you, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY,” Maxine yapped on and on killing him and makin' herself late for her first day on the job.

“Ain't you goin'?” Billy begged her.

“Okay, okay! I'm going! Wish me luck!”

“Yeah, good luck.”

Maxine climbed out of the Camaro and took off down the street towards the general store; Billy watched her go. He felt true terror for all the shoppers that were gonna get in her way. He smoked a cigarette and looked over at the car garage. It was stupid but he didn't feel like goin' in.

Hank was sitting at the counter eating two huge hoagies; he stared at Billy when he walked in. He followed Billy into the back and kept on staring at him. He didn't even bring his sandwich.

Billy was taking his tools out by the truck; it was a big Toyota Tacoma. Hank leaned against the doorframe and looked at him. “You need somethin'?” Billy asked him.

“Not really,” Hank said; Billy sighed. No one was ever gonna leave him the fuck alone. Hank looked at him some more. He said, “Je-sus Christ.” He said, “You know, Bill, I'm gettin' real tired of you coming in here all busted up.”

“Yeah, me too,” Billy said. “It ain't that bad.” Hank huffed. He was leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed like a fuckin' drama queen: Billy'd came in before looking way worse than this.

“What happened t'ya?”

“Doesn't matter,” Billy said.

“Why ain't you think you matter, Bill?” Hank asked him. He was a damn philosopher.

Billy ignored him; he was opening up the hood of the Tacoma. “Look, you got anything else for me today?”

Hank continued his fun game of staring at him and killing him. Finally he sighed. “Yeah, I guess I – you think you can do two oil changes before five for me?”

“Sure can,” Billy said into the engine.

Hank looked at him some more; when Billy finally glanced up again his face was all red. “You know, kid, you come in here lookin' like this one more time, I'm callin' the fuckin' cops on your house myself,” Hank told him.

Billy chewed his lip and leaned looking down at the engine. Somehow he managed not to reach up and slam the hood shut; he really wanted to. He even kept his voice real level. “That's not gonna do nothing,” he said; Hank didn't answer him. “I don't need you getting in my shit, okay, man?”

“Okay, Bill,” Hank said like he was talking to a little kid. “Sure. If that's what you want.” He stared at him for a while longer, then went on back to the front.

Billy did the oil changes and worked on the truck; he was tryin' not to think about if his old man was gonna be up waitin' for him and Maxine when they got in. He wouldn't really do shit to them on her birthday, Billy figured. Maybe Billy's birthday but not Max's. One thing his old man had liked to do was punish him for shit Maxine did when she'd been little, if she'd stayed out too late or made some kinda mess. He was scared about it going the other way too. Probably Susan wouldn't actually let him do anything but Billy was tryin' not to think about it.

He was trying not to think about the shit Hank'd said to him, either. _Why ain't you think you matter, Bill?_ Sounded like a fuckin' Lifetime movie. He knew he mattered a little, was just how shit was.

Billy worked on the truck. It had some of the same transmission problems Susan's car had and he knew how to fix them now; even if Hank'd done most of it he'd still showed Billy and spent about twelve years talkin' about all the different parts and coils and taking shit apart.

Inside the hood of the car the engine was fuckin' filthy. It was a goddamn shame, was less than ten years old. Billy didn't understand why some people didn't take care of their cars. He didn't look up to answer when Hank told him he was leavin' at half-past five, then he thought maybe he should have answered. He needed this job; couldn't afford to be a dick to his boss who just helped him out all the time, even if he did talk too goddamn much.

Finally at a quarter to eight he put his things away. He washed his hands in the back and went up front; Maxine pressed her face up against the glass of the big window right away like a homicidal maniac and glowered at him. Billy flipped her off as he locked up the counter.

When he got outside she assaulted him in two seconds with a big scowl on her face. She had her arms crossed and looked like his damn mom again or something, maybe a mom from hell. Haha. She was still wearin' her stupid red canvas vest from the general store too and she looked real official.

“You're LATE!” she scolded him. “Didn't you hear me, I was knocking for like five minutes! If there was a Demodog out here you'd just find my guts on the fire hydrant!”

“Don't tease me,” Billy said.

“Really? That's it?” Maxine asked like a shitheel. “Nothing about how you've been dreaming about decorating with my intestines for years? Are you okay?”

“I'm tired, man,” Billy told her. He was. That happened sometimes; sometimes after he'd get into one of his weird baby freak-outs he'd be real tired afterwards, maybe for a whole day after if it was bad enough. Last night had been pretty bad. On top of that Harrington'd seen it, then Hop had been driving him around makin' him feel like a damn escaped convict or some shit. Hank leaning against the shop door looking at him; Billy hated people looking at him like that. He was just tired.

He didn't feel like tellin' Maxine about that though. “How'd the job go?” he asked to distract her.

“It was okay! Tomorrow I get to go on register!” Max started yapping her head off and they set off down the street. Billy was smoking his last cigarette; he'd forgotten to get a pack earlier and he was in a mood about it.

They got down the block to Mike's the pizza place; Billy couldn't believe she'd wanted to eat there for her birthday. “Do you see Steve's car?” Max asked him. She was waiting for Billy to finish his smoke; she pressed her face up against the glass door of the restaurant like a crazy person again.

“Come on now, Stevie wouldn't be late on your birthday,” Billy drawled; Max rolled her eyes at him.

Billy looked through the window too and then wished he hadn't. Harrington was in one of the booths alongside the wall and Byers and Sinclair were with him; Nancy Wheeler was standing over the table talkin' down at them. It was some real deja vu shit, right down to the way he instantly felt pissed off. Nancy had a real fancy sweater on.

Maxine noticed her at the same time Billy did; she bristled up like a little porcupine. “Oh, _hell_ no,” she said like a dramatic bitch. “What's she doing here? I thought the rich people only ate at Rino's.”

Billy almost laughed; he didn't feel like laughing though. He thought about Max saying _You can't beat up Nancy!_ and smoked his cigarette. “Calm your shit down,” he told her.

“I can't calm down, this is _not_ happening on my birthday,” Max yapped. She was getting into a womanly rage; Billy had no clue if it was on his behalf or out of desire to one day fling her underwear at George Michael. Jesus he made himself shudder.

Maxine wrenched the doorhandle to the restaurant open and started stomping down the row of booths like she was the little chick in _Firestarter_. After a moment of sighing Billy stamped out his cigarette and followed after her.

Nancy was already leaving as they came up; she was looking down at the ground like she usually was when she wasn't makin' eyes at Billy's man. She glanced up as they went past her and looked all surprised. “Oh – ! Hey guys,” she said.

“Hey,” Billy said. Really he was gettin' so good at his manners; suddenly he wanted a candy bar. Maxine put on her best princess shithead face and stomped past her without answering. Nancy made a great face and raised her eyebrows up; Billy walked by her too.

“Hey, Max,” Lucas said when they got to the table.

Max ignored him. She sat down real officious and rolled the sleeves of her sweater up; she looked fuckin' terrifying. She turned her glare on Steve. “I didn't see Miss Nancy with a pizza box, did she eat with you guys?” she demanded at a level six. Sinclair looked nonplussed.

“We didn't order yet, we were waiting for you,” Byers told her. Max ignored him too.

“She just came in to say hi,” Steve said; he looked up and smiled. “Hi,” he said to Billy.

“Hey,” Billy said. He sat down too.

“Hi!” said Byers.

Jesus. “Hey, man,” Billy said. Will had a big bruise on his forearm; Billy stared at it until the kid squirmed and put his hands under the table.

Maxine looked even more terrifying. “Steve, I thought we had a talk about you wasting your time on women that don't care about you.”

Lucas was making a great face. “Did you?” he said; Billy could ask the same question.

Harrington looked truly delighted; he had a big ol' Max-is-amusing face on. Billy contemplated throwing himself over the edge of a bridge.

Steve leaned with his elbows on the table. He had the sleeves of his polo rolled up too; he was givin' Billy a damn show tonight. “I'm sorry, Max, you know, I, I can't help it if people wanna talk to me,” he said. “Apparently I'm in high demand around here.”

“I don't know about all that,” Max snitted; she had her biggest gremlin face on.

Steve looked even more amused by her. He was fuckin' insufferable really. “I wasn't doing anything,” he told her.

“ _Whatever,_ ” Max said. Steve laughed at her.

Billy rolled his eyes and ignored him; Christ if Maxine found out Steve knew the shit too they'd both gang the fuck up on him and never stop goin' at him til he died. He was seeing a great future for himself. Actually it wasn't too bad.

Lucas was looking more and more weirded out. “Um, are you done?” he asked her. “How'd your job go?”

“It was fine I guess,” Maxine said in a big sulk on Billy's behalf.

“My mom's really excited to have you there, she said she needs a girl to talk to,” Will told her all sweet.

Max relented her scowl a little; she was such a soft touch. “She's already told me _so much_ gossip, why do they keep rehiring the maintenance guy?” She started going on and on about what went on in the stock room; Billy figured he was safe again for a while.

They stayed at Mike's the pizza place until a little before ten which wasn’t too late for the way the creepy kids could talk. Steve told Lucas and Wills he could give them a ride home; he went and stood by Billy's car with him as Maxine got in and fucked with the radio. The creepy guys were arguin' and tryin' to fit their bikes into Steve's car a ways down the street.

Steve gave him a smoke and held his lighter out so Billy could light up; Billy gripped his arm for a second to steady the flame. “Are you okay? You only made fun of me three times, you didn't eat anything,” Steve said like Billy was his little girlfriend.

“'m tired,” Billy told him around the cigarette. He wasn't actually Harrington's little girlfriend; he still felt weird and he was tryin' not to get into a big sulk over seeing Wheeler for two seconds. It was hard not to get into a big sulk over her even though he knew he was being a huge fucking dumbass again. Kinda knew.

From inside the Camaro Maxine laid on the horn and made a face at them. Usually she was real good at giving Billy his private time with Harrington but she'd already lied her ass off to her moms and said she worked til ten-thirty; it was almost a quarter past.

Billy blew some smoke at her. “OKAY, ASSHOLE,” he said; Maxine punched at the horn again and Steve laughed. Billy rolled his eyes. “Jesus. Guess we can't do nothin' tonight, you got half the dork brigade in your car anyways.”

“That's okay, I just wanted to see you for a while,” Steve said; he made a cute face when Billy looked up at him. Billy figured if they wasn't out on the main drag with Maxine scowlin' at them they'd be doin' their hand-holding shit again. “I get outta work early tomorrow.”

“Okay. You want me to come over?”

“Yeah, I want you to come over, dummy. Did you wrap her CD player yet?” Steve asked him.

In two seconds Billy got a flashback of Tracey pickin' at him over some bullshit like birthday or Christmas presents; he was pretty sure he managed not to make a face. Was like war trauma or something.

“Yeah I wrapped it,” he said. Looked like total shit; he'd hid it under his bed in his box of secret Billy stuff. He figured Max knew enough not to go snooping in there. “Man, she's gonna – “ Max laid on the horn again. “JESUS CHRIST, ALL RIGHT!” Billy hollered. “Fucking shit. Guess I gotta go.”

“Okay, see you.”

“Later, man.” Billy got in the car and glared at Max as he started it up. Max ignored him; she leaned over and snatched the cig out of his hand and took a puff. “MAXINE! Are you FUCKING serious?”

“Uck, your drool is all over this,” Maxine yapped and coughed. Billy snarled; no it wasn't. “I can't believe you like a guy that smokes Parliaments.”

“Ain't he sad?” Billy said; he put the Camaro in drive and pulled away from the curb. Some asshole in a black Honda came roaring around the corner and Billy almost didn't see 'em; he heard the squeal of tires before he seen the car. He slammed on his brakes real fast to let them by. “Motherfucker!” He punched the horn too and asked Max, “When'd you start smokin'?”

Max was coughing and making a terrible face. “I didn't,” she said. “Ugh, it's bad. Here, take it back.”

“I don't want your fuckin' cooties.” Billy stepped on the gas again.

“Everything makes so much sense now,” Maxine said; she was such a piece of shit. “Steve's looking at you.”

“Maybe he's lookin' at you, freakshow,” Billy said; Max rolled her eyes.

Billy's dad's car wasn't in the driveway when they pulled in; they were safe for another night. Susan wasn't waitin' up for Max on the couch either. The door to her room was closed and the light was on; Billy guessed she'd had a real fun night hangin' out with his old man.

Max rolled her eyes all around the hallway. There were three empty beer bottles on the coffee table from Billy’s dad. “Happy birthday to me,” she said.

Billy went to bed.

 

The rest of the week passed and Friday came; Susan took Maxine out to get an early dinner before they both had to go to work. They'd looked like they was getting set to invite him along too so he'd booked it off to Harrington's again. His dad was due home at six and he didn't want to be around for that.

Steve's mom was home so they couldn't hook up anyway – “A REALLY RARE OCCASION FOR A FRIDAY NIGHT,” Steve said all dramatically.

“I can hear you,” his mom said from the kitchen; Steve puffed his cheeks out like a kid.

They watched TV on the couch in the living room and wrapped up the rest of Max's CDs. “You know, Dustin wanted me to have her party over here, I'm really glad that didn't happen.” Steve was talking his head off like usual; somehow Billy had about a pound of tape stuck on his shirt. “I told him it'd be fuckin' weird, like we're way older. Anyway I don't want to clean up after those brats, I'm not actually a goddamn babysitter.”

“Sure you aren't, Stacey,” Billy said. He gave up on the CD he was trying to wrap.

“You're an asshole, why do you know all their names?” Steve asked him.

“Whose names?” Billy asked; Steve rolled his eyes and yanked some tape off of Billy's elbow. “OW, BITCH!”

Mrs. Harrington came into the room to kill Steve and embarrass him; Billy'd only met her a handful of times now but he could tell it was her favorite pastime. She was dressed to the nines in a fancy dress and jewelry even though she'd made a big production earlier tellin' them she was tired and how she wasn't going out.

“I just finished dinner, you can eat with us,” she told Billy. Like usual she wasn't asking him. “I made Steven's favorite meal,” she said; it was chicken alfredo. She stared at them real scary until they got up and went into the kitchen.

Steve looked like a grumpy bitch while he got the plates out. Billy didn't know where anything was to help so he sat at the table and tried not to feel like a junkyard dog. Steve's mom watched him and creeped him out.

“Why'd you cook, it's not like Dad's coming home,” Steve said like a grumpy bitch. “We could have just ordered something.”

“Strange thing, everything I do doesn't actually revolve around a man,” his mom told him. Even though she was creeping him out with her x-ray vision – he figured all women had that shit – Billy was still getting a kick out of her.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay, you just made this for me, so – “

“You're not a man, you're my baby, Steven,” Mrs. Harrington told him; Billy laughed happily and Steve's mom smiled.

“Oh my god, thank you,” Steve said. His mom smiled at him too real sweet.

They sat at the table and ate. “Were you boys wrestling the other night, that big crash from your room woke me up,” Steve's mom said to him; Steve choked on his chicken.

“Uh, he abuses me,” he said.

“No I don't,” said Billy. He had definitely not known she'd been home last night; he'd been very enthusiastic. Harrington didn't need that lamp anyway, he'd said later.

“Hmm,” said Steve's mom. She told Billy, “We're eagerly awaiting Steve's college acceptance letters, he's been getting restless.”

“No I haven't,” Steve said; Mrs. Harrington ignored him.

“Are you applying to any schools?” she asked Billy. “Where do you want to go?”

Billy felt like a big ol' Garbage Pail Kid; he wondered if she'd been planning to give him the third-degree or had just decided now. “I probably ain't going nowhere.”

“Billy's gonna be a mechanic, well he is already, he knows everything,” Steve told his mom. He was drinking a big glass of milk like a kid. “He doesn't need to go to college.”

“Might take this trade class over the summer,” Billy said.

“His boss has been teachin' him how to weld, he knows how to paint a car too,” Steve went on tellin' his moms all Billy's business.

“That's a decent profession,” Mrs. Harrington said; she was making Billy feel real weird lookin' at him. “There aren't as many autobody technicians around here as there were in the seventies, you know we used to go over to that garage on Church Street. Steven, that's across from that park we were at when you walked across the monkey bars and fell and broke your ankle. He was seven,” she told Billy.

“I know what park it was, thanks,” Steve said.

“I didn't know you broke your leg.”

“Yeah, it sucked,” Steve said. “That was before my little kid bones fell out and I got my grown-up ones, I was kinda clumsy.” Billy smiled at him.

Steve's mom ignored him being cute. “Are they really putting computers in cars now?”

“Ma, computers are in everything,” Steve told her; she ignored him some more.

“Some of 'em,” Billy said. “Supposed to be easier.”

“I don't know about all that.”

“Just hook a wire into some of the newer ones, you know what to fix in two seconds.”

Steve laughed. “Uh, not me.”

“Oh yes, Steven told me how you rescued him back in January.”

“It wasn't in January, remember Billy wasn't talking to me then,” Steve said throwing him under the bus like usual.

“I'm sorry, that's right,” Steve's mom said. Billy wondered what all she knew about it. She looked at him in her weird way; she was almost as bad as Maxine or Elijane. “Steven was very upset when you were angry at him,” she told him; somehow Billy managed not to make a comment.

“No I wasn't,” said Steve.

“He played all those records you bought him, I was forbade to speak of you.”

“Oh, my GOD,” Steve said in great pain. “No I didn't, no she wasn't.”

“Didn't know I had such an affect on you, Steven,” Billy said.

“Don't worry, you don't,” Steve told him all grumpy.

“You know, he also – “

“Why are you doin' this to me?” Steve begged her.

“You mentioned it,” his mom said. “Well, I'm glad you made up. I'm sorry, Billy, am I being too much?”

“Uh, not really,” Billy managed; Steve muttered, “You're always too frickin' much.”

Mrs. Harrington ignored him. “Billy,” she said all thoughtful. She was still looking at him. “How come you're not a Bill or a William?”

Steve started eating off of Billy's plate; Billy rolled his eyes and pushed it over to him. “I call him Bill,” Steve said with his mouth full.

Steve's mom kept looking at him and makin' him feel weird. “Uh,” he said. “S'what my mom called me, my sister calls me. My girlfriend called me that too.” They were all determined to keep him from being cool.

“Oh, do you have a girlfriend back home?”

Billy didn't even have a _back home_. “Old girlfriend,” he said. Steve was looking at him too.

“Oh, well,” is all Mrs. Harrington said. “Why did you and your sister move all the way out here?” she asked; Jesus she was really grilling him today. “Paul and I went to Santa Monica once when I was pregnant, I almost didn't leave.”

“What? I didn't know that,” Steve said.

“See? You have been to California, sweetheart,” his mom said; Steve sighed.

Billy guessed Paul was Steve's dad. He also guessed that sayin' _I knocked my girl up and got the shit beat out of me_ wasn't really appropriate dinner conversation. “My stepmom's got a sister over in Indianapolis,” he said.

“Mom, can you stop asking him twenty questions?”

“I didn't ask twenty, I asked about five,” his mom said. Steve rubbed his eyebrow and sighed again like a dramatic bitch. “All right, I stopped, I'm stopping.” Steve started eating off her plate too; she looked amused. “I'll leave you be, can you clean up after me?”

“Yeah, anything if you go away,” Steve said; he was fuckin' rude to his mom like every other person Billy knew.

“Please no wrestling tonight, I have to go to a banquet tomorrow.”

Steve wasn't even chewing anything and he still managed to choke. “Oh my god, goodnight Mom.”

They didn't say anything as Mrs. Harrington left the table; Steve looked like he was getting another one of his migraines. “Uh, sorry, sorry about her, I can't stop her.”

Billy didn't really feel like talkin' about Steve's mom; he felt seriously fucking weird. “Can I load your dishwasher?” he asked him.

Steve gave him an odd look and then looked amused. For a second he looked too much like his mom and it kinda freaked Billy out. “If you want,” he said like Billy was a weird person.

Billy loaded the dishwasher; Steve showed him where the soap was. Billy got a big kick out of starting it up; was real exciting for a Friday night. In another universe he'd be a real good housewife. “Your mom's a good cook,” he told Steve.

“Yeah, I guess she's okay.”

“Better than Susie,” Billy said. Steve made a great face; he'd eaten over twice last month when Billy's old man had been out of the house. “Yeah, she used to be worse.”

“How is that even possible?” Steve said; Billy laughed. Steve asked him, “So how's she been since he's been back?”

Billy didn't need to ask who _he_ was. “I ain't really seen her,” he said. It was the truth. Susan was like the ghost of the house when Billy's old man was around; that hadn't changed. Steve made a face and didn't say anything.

They went back into the living room and finished wrapping up Max's shit, then _Crime Story_ came on and Steve said they had to watch it together. He kept leaning real close to Billy on the couch and talkin' his head off saying what was gonna happen. Billy kept begging him to stop talking; he leaned over twice and kissed him real quick to shut him up. It didn't really work.

“The mom did it, they’re gonna book her in the next scene,” Steve said. He had his hand on Billy's arm and was drawin' out little patterns; Billy was pretty sure he'd never felt this way about anyone before. “She’s hidin’ the kids in that empty factory they showed in the beginning.”

“Jesus Christ, shut up,” Billy begged him. “No she ain't.”

The mom had poisoned her husband and hid the two kids in the abandoned factory; Steve laughed at Billy's face. He pulled at Billy's earring. “Told you so.”

“Get offa me,” Billy commanded him; Steve flicked the earring. “How'd you know that?”

“BOOM! That's logic,” Steve said and waved his hand in Billy's face like a huge dork; Billy leaned over and kissed him again. Steve grabbed his jaw so he couldn't pull away.

Billy kissed him back for a minute – he couldn't not – and then shoved him in the chest. “Leave me alone, your mom's here.”

“Weird, I don't see her,” Steve said. He leaned in again; Billy shoved him off. Steve laughed at him. “What, you started it.”

“I'm serious, shithead. I like it in your fancy house, I don't wanna get chased off.”

“What? You're not, it's fine,” Steve said. Billy gave him a look; he wasn't playing around. “Okay, okay, okay. All right, I'll be good.”

When they finished watching the show it was a little past ten; Billy had to go and pick Max up from her work. Steve walked him out to his car. He had his hands in his pockets and was kinda hunched over like when he was nervous; he had the big wrinkle-frown between his eyebrows.

“Sorry, uh, sorry about my mom again,” he said. “She, you know, she always does this, she likes to know my friends or whatever.”

Billy was trying not to feel weird again, it might not mean anything. He leaned against his door, chewed on his lip. “She know about us?” he asked.

Steve made a great face. “Uh, god, _no,_ ” he said. “No way. I mean, she's not like – she wouldn't be – you know, she has a cousin who's, uh, like … that,” he said in a weird voice. “If she knew she'd probably have given me, like, fifty pamphlets already, I don't feel like thinking about that.”

That was definitely more support than Billy could expect outta his old man; he didn't feel like thinkin' about that either. Goddamn there was a lot of shit lately he didn't feel like thinking about. He didn't say anything.

Steve kept on talkin'. “She just likes you, you know,” he said; he still had his hands in his jeans pockets and was looking down at his shoes. “I mean she likes you and Max, she thinks Max is real cute and all.”

“Guess someone has to,” Billy said; Steve laughed a little.

“She always asks me shit about you, she thinks you're way better than Tommy and Carol.” Billy didn't think too much of himself but he figured that he was better than Tommy and Carol too.

“What you tell her about me?”

“Uh, nothing,” Steve lied; Billy wondered when he'd started to know when Harrington was lying. Steve looked up at him. “I mean, I don't, I don't say anything about, you know, your dad or whatever.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He didn't want to talk about his old man either. “Guess I should go,” he said finally. Felt like he was always leaving Steve; he didn't like it. Well he knew you always had to leave somebody but he didn't like going.

“Yeah, get ready for the party tomorrow,” Steve said; he looked all jazzed up in two seconds like a little dork. “I hope you don't want to screw around after, I'm gonna eat so much cake!”

“Stop turning me on, Harrington,” Billy told him; Steve laughed.

 

On Saturday morning Max spent about two hours in the bathroom gettin' all dolled up to go over to the Wheelers' house. Mrs. Wheeler liked Maxine too for some reason; she'd been all distressed a couple weeks ago when Max'd said she wasn't having a party. Billy'd been dropping her off there for some creepy kid shit and had gotten roped into coming in for a minute.

“You know, Nancy and Michael haven't let me throw them a birthday party since they were about twelve,” Mrs. Wheeler'd said; she'd been in the kitchen cookin' something like she usually was and leaning out against the doorframe. Wheeler Jr had made a terrible face at being called _Michael._ He was so ungrateful.

“My mom works all the time, we don't have a lot of extra money,” Max had yapped her head off tellin' everyone her business like usual; Mrs. Wheeler had started plotting on the spot.

Billy guessed Susan didn't mind some other mom throwing her kid a party. She did work all the time; anyways their house was too fuckin' small to do shit in. She and Mrs. Wheeler – 'call me Karen' – had been on the phone all week talking up a storm. Billy wondered how long it'd take his old man to put a stop to that friendship.

Maxine was taking too goddamn long to get ready; her moms was already at work and Billy's dad was in his bedroom, sleeping late. So far Billy had managed not to see him since that night at the start of the week and he'd been really hoping to keep it that way for the foreseeable future.

Finally after a million hours Max finished doin' whatever she was doing and came on out of her room; she had a fancy white party dress on like she was Marilyn Monroe or some shit. She'd got her hair cut the other day and it fell a little over her shoulders; she looked like an actual teenager again. Billy glared at her.

“What?” Max snapped; she was primpin' herself in the little mirror next to the front door. “Are you ready to go? Do I look okay?”

“I GUESS,” Billy said.

Max peered out the window. “Yuck, is Neil still here?”

“He's sleepin'.”

“God, let's go before he gets up!” Max said like she hadn't been killin' him for the last two hours. Not like they could or wanted to go out to the Wheelers' at 10am but she'd barged into Billy's room then anyway yappin' about she needed his hairspray.

Outside it was raining which meant it was a great day for a birthday party; Billy glared at her some more and threw his leather jacket over her shoulders. “Why didn't you bring a fuckin' sweater?” he asked her. “Look like a goddamn prostitute, where'd the rest of that dress go?”

“Oh my god, shut up! You're such a dick! You can't tell me what to wear! Mom said I look nice!” Max went off on him in two seconds; she was carrying her big present from her moms that she hadn't opened yet and a birthday card from her. “Mike has to actually be nice to me today, it's his present to me.” Max switched topics as they got into the car.

“Thought he wasn't that bad anymore.” Billy started the Camaro up. It took a couple tries for the engine to catch which was great; he'd have to look at it later. He pulled off onto the street.

“He's not, he still doesn't like me though.”

They'd only been here for a fuckin' year and a half. “Eh, don't really blame him,” Billy said.

Maxine slugged him; truly she was abusive. She started goin' on telling him all her shit even though like usual he hadn't asked her. Jesus if he really did get a place and she and Harrington came over they'd both talk him to death.

“I guess I get it now, I didn't really before. You know I'm at his house all the time, I mean Dustin and Rebecca too, it must suck for him to see all his friends with their girlfriends or whatever when he can't even have El around ever.”

“She was there at Christmas,” Billy pointed out.

“Yeah, because there was like a bazillion people there, we had to plan it out for like a month before and beg Hopper! I think he mostly went because he wanted to see Joyce!”

Billy shuddered at Hopper wanting to see Joyce; she was too nice of a lady for the chief. “El says she ain't even Wheeler's girlfriend.”

“Good, he's a douchebag!” Max yapped.

“He's too fucking old for her anyways,” Billy said; Maxine puffed her cheeks out at him.

“Okay, Dad!” she said. Billy snarled and she laughed.

Wheeler Jr opened the door for them when they got there; he was already making a great face. His mom had made him put a tie on! “Hey, you look – “ Wheeler made a small shitface – “nice,” he told Max.

“Thanks, hold my stuff.” Max thrust her present from her moms and Billy's jacket into his arms; Wheeler looked like a cat being electrocuted. “Is Lucas here?”

“Yeah, he's in the kitchen with Steve, they're eating everything already.” Maxine flounced off; Wheeler closed the door and stood staring at Billy. “Hey,” he said in a great pain.

Billy grinned at him. “Hey Mikey,” he said; Wheeler said “UGH” and went to put away his jacket.

In the kitchen Steve was at the table eating and talking to Mrs. Wheeler and Max; he looked up and smiled when he saw Billy.

Mrs. Wheeler was at the counter wearing an apron and cutting up sandwiches; she was all dolled up like she was in a TV commercial. “Billy, can I trouble you for a second?” she asked.

“Karen, you could never trouble me,” Billy said; Maxine snorted and Steve made a great face at him.

“I just need to get this serving platter down from the cabinet, I can never seem to reach it myself.”

“You know, I'm like two or three inches taller than him,” Steve told her.

“No he ain't,” Billy said immediately. “I got you covered.” He made a display of himself getting her serving plates for her. Mrs. Wheeler kept him at the counter with her dishin' out snacks.

“Max, that's some dress you got on,” Steve was saying. “Where's the rest of it?”

Max struck a pose; over at the counter Billy nearly gagged. “Do you like it?”

“Of course I do, you look like an actual girl, you look real sophisticated.”

“All right, Steve, that's enough!” Lucas said loudly. Steve blinked at him and Billy laughed into the plate of sandwiches. God it was fun at Wheeler Jr's.

Mrs. Wheeler put her hand on Billy's shoulder; he was getting a big kick out of her too. “Could you help me take these out to the living room?” she asked him.

“Whatever you need, Karen,” he said real sweet. Over at the table Sinclair was rolling his goddamn eyes out of his head.

Billy helped Mrs. Wheeler transport all the food and shit out into the living room; Harrington was being a lazy fuck like usual and apparently Sinclair couldn't leave him alone with Max for two seconds. When they was in the living room Jonathan Byers stopped over to drop his brother off; he stood there standing and dripping on the doorstep while Will scampered over to Billy with his presents. Billy guessed he wasn't staying.

“Did you get Max that Kate Bush CD?” Wills whispered to him like a little CIA agent.

“Uh, just the first one.”

“Okay, good, I got her that one that just came out.”

Jonathan stood dripping out on the steps; he looked like he was turning into a fuckin' zombie with his weird little eyes pushed back in his head. Wills had gotten all the looks in the family Billy guessed, was so sad for Jonny. Haha. Mrs. Wheeler was touching his arm. “How are you doing?” she asked him.

“Oh, I'm fine, never better,” Byers said in a monotone; he was such a charmer. “Is Nancy here?”

Mrs. Wheeler touched his arm some more. “She's out,” she told him.

“Oh. Right. Why wouldn't she be.” Wills made a face and Billy managed not to make one back; Byers looked over at his kid brother. “Will, call me when you want to come home.” He stood there dripping on the steps some more. “Hey,” he said all awkward to Billy.

Billy didn't know why Byers was saying hi to him. “Hey, man,” he said back anyway; he was so polite lately.

Beverly arrived with another one of Maxine's girlfriends who wasn't in the creepy kid club; Billy didn't know her name. Wheeler Jr looked like he was contemplating suicide with the girls yappin' on and on. “Why'd you wear a tie, you geek?” Bev asked him.

“My mom made me,” Wheeler Jr answered like a total stud; Bev cackled and Mike turned the color of an overripe tomato.

Steve came and sat down on the couch next to Billy; he had a huge plate of food somehow already. “Too many kids, my head hurts,” he complained in two seconds. “Lucas looks like he wants to punch me in the nuts, this is your fault. How long do we gotta be here?”

Henderson burst in all late as the kids were playing some board game on the floor; he had a big yellow rain slicker on and and was carrying two little presents and a pink backpack. He looked like a giant idiot as usual. “Sorry we're late, there was a special on National Geographic!” he yelled like an insane person.

“Dustin, DON'T DROP THOSE!” Rebecca yapped from behind him; she was shoving him through the doorway.

“I'm not dropping them!” Henderson said. He tripped over nothing and almost dropped everything.

“You're dripping on the game,” Wills told him.

Henderson ignored him. “Where's Steve?”

Steve took a moment to stop complaining from the couch. “Hey, right here in plain view,” he said.

“Hey, Dustin, do you have anything you want to say to me that you haven't said ALL WEEK?” Maxine was flouncing over like she was in a damn movie. She had two party-cone hats on her head like a demon.

“Yeah, happy birthday, is there any cake?” Dustin said. He shoved her presents into her arms; Maxine scowled at him and held Rebecca's backpack. “STEVE! Mike, did you tell him yet?”

“What?” Wheeler Jr said in terror; he was sitting bein' assaulted over by the TV by Bev and Mystery Girl.

“Steve, hold onto your socks! I come bearing important news!” Henderson waddled over in his raincoat and plopped himself down on the coffee table next to the pile of presents; it shuddered under his weight.

“Dustin! You can't sit there!” Mike told him.

“My socks are fine, why are you yelling at me already?” Steve asked.

“Okay, are you ready for this? Nancy and Jonathan broke up!” Henderson said; Billy froze staring at him.

“Dude, you're not supposed to tell people yet!” yapped Lucas.

“Uh, Steve's not people,” Henderson said. “STEVE!” he said again like an insane person.

Steve was eating two cupcakes at once; he made a face at Dustin. “ _What?_ ” he said.

“Uh, did you hear me? Jonathan. Broke up. With Nancy!”

Steve put a whole cupcake in his mouth. “Okay,” he said like a sexy beast.

Henderson stared. “Okay?” he said. “Really? That's it? Okay? Mike, did you tell him already?”

“No, I didn't tell him!” Mike said; Bev flipped his tie into his face. “AUGH! Stop touching me!” Lucas and Will were laughing at him.

“Okay, I thought this was big news,” Henderson said. He looked around. “Is this not big news?”

Steve kept eating. “What, I don't care about Nancy,” he said.

“Okay, you cared last month!”

“NO I DIDN'T!” said Steve; he threw a cupcake wrapper in Dustin's face.

Henderson made a face and batted the wrapper away. “I thought you'd be more excited about this, this is what you wanted!”

“Uh, yeah, no it's not, I never said that.”

“WHAT THE HELL, STEVE! I ran all the way over here to tell you!”

Rebecca was putting their presents on the coffee table; she'd finally stopped yapping away to Max. “No he did not, I drove him here in his mom's car,” she said.

“That's an irrelevant detail,” said Dustin; Rebecca pinched him.

“Huh, I thought you were watchin' the National Geographic,” Steve said.

“ALL RIGHT, SO I HAVE PRIORITIES!” Henderson said. “Look, you could probably get back with her, women are all vulnerable right after they get dumped.”

“YOU PIG!” said every girl in the room.

Wheeler Jr made another face. “Stop prostituting my sister!” he said in disgust.

“It's not prostituting, they already went out!”

“Oh my god, can you leave me alone?” Steve asked; Maxine came over and shoved Henderson off the coffee table.

“Can we STOP TALKING about Nancy, I'm ready to open my PRESENTS,” she announced. She'd already grabbed the one from her moms and was tearing into it.

Henderson was picking himself up off the floor. “Jesus Christ, Max!” he lisped. “You're deceptively strong, do you steal Billy's steroids?”

Billy finally spoke. “I don't take those,” he said; Steve laughed and nudged his shoulder.

Maxine spent about eighty years opening up all her crap; she lost her shit over the board her mom had got her (a plain wood one, no pink stuff for once) and then she lost her shit again over her Discman and CDs.

“GET OFFA ME!” Billy told her when she hugged him. “Don't ever say I don't do shit for you, asshole.” Sinclair made a face like he was turnin' into the Incredible Hulk when she hugged Steve.

“I can't believe you guys got Max a joint present like a married couple,” lisped Henderson; Steve slugged him in the back. “BILLY! STEVE'S HITTING ME!” Dustin screamed. Billy hit him too. “Jesus Christ, I hate you guys.”

Rebecca and the creepy guys had got her CDs too anyway – “I know you just got that Bon Jovi tape, I thought you'd want it on CD too,” Bev said.

Maxine made a great face; she didn't give a shit about Bon Jovi. “Thanks Bev,” she said. Steve started laughing so Billy shoved him.

Sinclair had got Max a CD too and stickers for her new board (“How did you know I was getting a skateboard too?” Max asked him. “I have my sources,” Lucas said mysteriously; he meant Billy) and Will had presents to give from his moms too. Joyce had got her two fancy blouses; they didn't look cheap. Max put them both on over her dress like a little idiot. At least she was covered up, Billy figured. Henderson came at him with a party hat and Billy kicked him in the leg; Dustin was definitely not his favorite person right now.

Mrs. Wheeler herded the creepy kids into the kitchen for cake; Dustin asked if Billy was going to sing so Billy punched him in the back. “STEVE, BILLY'S HITTING ME!” Dustin screamed.

The party – if you could even call it that; there wasn't no booze or nothin' – broke up around six. Maxine had to go to work and then she was sleeping at Bev's house; Billy drove her in and then took himself back over to Harrington's like Steve had told him to. Steve gave him a beer and let Luke and Leia into the kitchen so Billy could hang out with them.

“Hey, do you want to see a movie or something?” Steve asked him. He was standing leaned up against the counter; he kept playing with Luke's tail as he padded by. “What?” he said to Luke. Luke wagged his tail.

Billy was drinking his beer at the table. “Not really,” he said.

“Okay, what do you wanna do?” Steve looked at him weird. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Quit asking me if I'm okay all the time, I ain't your goddamn girlfriend,” Billy told him.

Steve made a face. “Thanks, I know that, you're way too ugly to be a fuckin' girl.” He was too sweet. Billy didn't say anything; Steve sighed like a dramatic bitch. “Hey, are you – ? Okay, I knew you were gonna get like this as soon as Dustin opened his mouth earlier – “

“I ain't gettin' like anything.”

“Yeah, you haven't said anything to me in about four hours.”

“Sure I have,” Billy said; he felt like a sulky bitch again. “Why do you always wanna talk?”

Steve had his Billy-is-amusing face on. “I don't,” he said like Billy was being funny.

Billy thought about it. He got up to throw his beer in the trash; Leia looked at him in disappointment for not having food so Billy petted her for a minute.

Steve was looking at him. Billy stood there with his hands in his jacket pocket; they weren't too close. “So did you know Byers and her split up?”

“No, why would I care what they're doing?”

Billy thought about it some more. “Okay.”

“Okay, so.” Steve still had his Billy-is-amusing face on. “You don't want to go to a movie, you don't wanna talk. Do you wanna just go home?”

“No,” Billy said like a sulky bitch.

“Hmm, okay. So what do you wanna do?”

Billy glared at him; Steve snagged the sleeve of his jacket and started pulling him closer. “Why you teasin' me?”

“I'm not.”

“Thought you ate too much cake.”

“Uh, didn't you see me? I only had like four pieces.”

“Jesus Christ,” Billy said.

Steve laughed happily. Billy grabbed him and threw him against the counter.

“AHH, I DIDN'T MEAN RIGHT THIS SECOND,” Steve yelled; he was still laughing. Billy untucked his shirt from his pants. “MY KIDS ARE WATCHING.”

Billy didn't answer him. He was kinda busy. Steve said, “Oh, fuck.”

 

* * *

  
A week went by; Nancy Wheeler continued to ruin his life.

Billy already had to see her all the time at school and be pissed off; now it seemed like she was poppin' up everywhere else too. She came into the diner on Sunday when he was there with Harrington. She was at the movies with one of her girlfriends on Tuesday when he and Max took Steve to see _Blood Diner._

“Steve! Isn't that a scary movie?” she asked him; they was flirtin' away by the ticket window while Maxine had a coronary into her box of Goobers. “Can you handle that?”

“Oh, yeah, I've gotten so much better since last year,” Harrington said. Max rolled her goddamn eyeballs out of her head; they rolled all the way into theater four. After the movie ended they dropped Max off at home; Billy went over to Steve's and threw him all around his goddamn house again.

Wednesday the starter on Billy's car died; he'd known it'd be the next thing to go. He'd had to change it out back when he'd gotten the Camaro and they only lasted a few years once you switched 'em, especially if you bought cheap. Back in the house Maxine ran around lookin' for her new sweater; Billy's old man told them they had about four minutes to get out of his face so they set off walkin'. Max bitched her head off the whole time askin' why they couldn't call Steve for a ride.

“He ain't my fuckin' boyfriend, he's not gonna drop everything to come and get us,” Billy told her.

Billy had basketball practice once classes ended; at his locker before drills he was talkin' to Velma from the Halloween party when Max came up to him all officious. Christ she was like a fuckin' demon; she could find him at any time. She had her new skateboard under her arm.

“I relayed another message to Steve, he's going to pick you up after practice,” Max informed him. She looked askance at Velma.

Wednesday was really the worst day of the week. “Man, why'd you do that shit?”

“Oh, Steve Harrington? You guys are friends with him, right?” Velma said; her name was really Angela. She did wear a lot of orange though and she had glasses. At heart Billy felt she was a Velma.

“Yeah, he's okay,” Billy said; Maxine made a huge annoying fishface at him.

“How's he been?”

“He's been great, what do you know about it?” Maxine answered for him at a level four; Billy sighed in his head for a thousand years.

“You know he and Nancy Wheeler house-sat for us last spring break, you should bring him to my birthday party next month.”

That was lovely information, just what he wanted to hear. Billy leaned against his locker and tried not to feel pissed off. He smiled real nice. “Angie, are you havin' a party?”

Maxine slugged his shoulder to keep him from flirting. “Billy! I have to go to work, can I borrow two bucks?”

“Why you think I have money for you?” Billy asked her.

“I get paid NEXT WEEK, I CAN OWE YOU!” Max yapped. “I have to eat dinner, you know!”

Billy gave her the money so she'd go away; Max dropped her board and took off down the hall with her backpack dangling over one shoulder. “Your sister's really cute,” Angie-Velma told him. Billy felt eternally offended but managed to contain himself. She thought Henderson was funny too – she was basically a lost cause.

“Cute's a relative term, I got a couple other adjectives for her,” Billy told her.

The coach was leaning out of the gym and glaring at him so Billy said later and went off to get screamed at. Practice ran late and Harrington met him at seven and drove him back to his big empty house. Billy still felt annoyed for no reason; he threw Harrington all over the den and gave him a blowjob. Steve pulled Billy on top of him on the floor and jerked him off. Billy clutched his arm so tight it was gonna bruise.

They laid around on the couch afterwards and watched game shows. Steve crushed him and played with his hair like Billy was a fucking girl. His belt was still undone and the buckle kept pressing into Billy’s hip.

Steve knew all the answers to Jeopardy; Billy said it was a rerun so it didn't count. “You can stay over if you want, I'll take you to school in the mornin',” Steve said.

Billy really wanted to stay over. “I can't stay, my dad's home 'til Saturday.”

“Yeah, that's kind of the point, you not being there,” Steve told him.

“He ain't been that bad,” Billy said. He said again, “I can't stay.”

“Okay. I'm just saying. When do you get the part for your car?”

“Uh, after the weekend, I think.” He'd already called Hank and made him order it for him.

“I can take you guys in again if you want, come get you on Friday.”

He didn't have to do that. “If you want.”

Steve smiled at him; it made Billy feel weird since they were so close and all. “Uh, little different now than back in December.”

“Yeah, you've gained a lot of weight recently, I ain't wanna mention it,” Billy said; Steve sat up and slugged him in the stomach. “OW!” Truly he was abusive. Steve laid back down on him and wriggled around to get comfortable. “Get offa me, I can't breathe,” Billy said dramatically. Steve ignored him; he was good at that.

“So what's wrong with your baby this time?”

“Starter died.”

“What, again?”

Billy sighed; Steve was always remindin' him didn't know shit about cars. “S'not the same thing as before. Starter's under the engine on my car, we gotta use the lift.”

“Okay, can you fix that?”

“Yeah, you – “

“Get another one, put it in, why'd I ask,” Steve said; Billy laughed. He let Steve drive him home.

Thursday Billy had an English test and he had to work late; after school on Friday Harrington came to pick up him and Maxine. Billy'd only taken about two minutes at his locker with the little shithead yappin' at him to hurry up but by the time they got out to the parking lot Nancy Wheeler was already leaning into the driver's side of Steve's car talking to him. Billy put his hand on Max's backpack and yanked her backwards before she could go off makin' a big shitshow. Billy smoked a cigarette and took his time walkin’ over to the Beamer.

Wheeler looked all pressed and perfect like usual in her little pink sweater and skirt; she looked like a perfect rich bitch like usual and Billy felt like a huge dumbass in two seconds. It was too stupid. He let Maxine drag him over to the car and tried not to act like a total asshole.

Steve asked them what they were doing and if they wanted to come over and watch movies; Maxine said yes and Billy was biting his tongue. He'd been doin' that a lot lately; a year ago he'd have never been able to. Hell two or three months ago he wouldn't have been able to.

He didn't want to bring Nancy up and make a thing out of her. Her, it, whatever. Making a thing out of it was gonna get him fucking dumped. So far he and Steve hadn't really talked about what they were doing and it was good that way. There was an easier choice than Billy and he didn't need to remind Harrington of it; he wasn't gonna say it.

Wheeler definitely wasn't actually perfect – nowhere near it actually. If you asked Billy really she was a grade-a bitch and a grade-a dumbass but no one was askin' him. Maybe she was a little closer to it than him: Billy knew he wasn't perfect. He had all kinds of shit wrong with him; Harrington knew about most of it. Pretty soon he was gonna get tired of it.

It was gonna be so much easier for Steve when he hooked back up with Wheeler; really Billy didn't see any other way it was gonna go. She was a girl, that was his girl, and she was all soft and shit and she was so much easier, Billy figured. She didn't have aggression issues or a fuckin' temper or scars all over her back; she was goin' to college. She had a nice family (barring Wheeler Jr), could go over there any day of the week without worryin' about it. Didn't have huge baby freak outs like he fuckin' did if somebody touched him; who'd want to deal with that shit?

The thing was Billy knew he was being a little bitch about it. Maxine had laughed at him all week and said he was a jealous fuck; she'd also said a bunch of great hilarious shit like 'You better make a move and do something before Steve gets back with Nancy' like that'd even matter if Harrington wanted her back.

Maybe that was true that Billy was a jealous fuck but it wasn't the normal kind of jealousy. Wasn't like back in California when Tracey'd talk to some guy for two minutes or even the weird rage-anger he'd felt when they'd first moved here and Max'd wanted fuck-all to do with him. It was kinda like this weird sinking feeling, almost the same as the way he'd feel when he knew he was gonna get beat real bad or something. The way he'd felt the day they'd all left Riverside; he hadn't even said goodbye to nobody, not really.

It was just because it was her, Nancy. Billy'd feel okay until he'd have to see her with Harrington; he already had to see her every day in fuckin' Lit class actin' like she was the only person in the world who knew a goddamn thing. It was just Nancy, and Harrington'd wanted her back so bad for so long. Billy remembered he'd said to him before _Look, if your girlfriend showed up here you'd be doing the same thing_ and that wasn't true, wasn't the same thing at all but Billy got it.

He guessed he kinda felt like he was on borrowed time with Harrington or something; he'd always figured he was. Maybe Steve – maybe Steve actually cared about him a little, it'd be nice to let himself think that. He seemed to want Billy enough, he wanted him around too, and he got all lovey-dovey and shit after they'd hooked up, but probably it was just a thing he was goin' through. Steve hadn't had anyone for so long.

Billy hadn't either: he remembered how he'd been shocked out of his goddamn mind when Harrington'd kissed him back, actually he still felt pretty shocked out of his mind. He’d figured that he'd take what he could get, whatever Steve wanted to give him. That'd been a month ago though and he wanted so much more now. He was fuckin' selfish too. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted but he wanted it.

He knew Steve couldn't really be queer like he was. Steve liked girls: he hadn't been goin' through some crisis for the last fuckin' year like Billy had. Steve liked girls and he liked to look at girls, liked to talk about girls; he acted like a real gentleman around Maxine but he and Henderson could go on talkin' about tits and skirts and how to get a girl to look at you.

Billy didn't have any tits and he definitely wasn't going to wear a skirt; he didn't have a pussy for Steve to fuck either. There was only so much stuff they could do. Sooner or later he'd remember that; probably sooner than later with the way Wheeler'd been goin' at him. He'd just wanted her back for so long.

Billy thought it fucking sucked; he wasn't thinkin' about it. How was he not supposed to think about it. He sat at Steve's house and tried not to think about it; he couldn't even eat the fuckin' popcorn Max gave him. Steve kept giving him big weird looks from across the couch; Billy was ignoring them. Finally at a little after eleven Harrington drove them back home.

Saturday Billy's old man went out to Washington for a week and everyone relaxed; Maxine was havin' a big party to herself in the living room before she had to go to work. Billy'd promised Hank he'd go in and finish the truck and help with inventory. He was in a big sulk over it but really he'd only worked two days this week; he couldn't fuck off on his job all the time tryin' to keep Harrington away from Nancy fuckin' Wheeler. It wasn't gonna matter anyway.

Steve came and picked him up at one; he started talkin' his head off before Billy'd even got to the car. Billy walked around to the passenger side; there was a pink sweater crumpled up in the backseat of Harrington's car and Billy knew whose it was in two seconds. He'd only been glaring at it in Lit class for about forty minutes on maybe Wednesday.

“Hey, do you wanna watch the hockey game with me tonight?” Steve asked him.

Billy was not gonna talk about the sweater; he didn't need to talk about the sweater. He stared at it for a couple seconds anyway before he got in. He was pretty sure it hadn’t been in there yesterday. Maybe this was Harrington's way of givin' him a message; Billy didn't really think he'd be like that. “Okay,” he said.

“I guess you were right about the Flyers, I'm trying not to be too hurt,” Steve said. “Hey, did your dad leave, do you wanna watch it at your place?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Billy said; Steve looked at him. “Yeah, you can come over.”

“So my parents' anniversary is on Tuesday, they're already acting fucking disgusting like we don't all know what my dad does in his office out in Eastgate, I probably won't be around on Sunday,” Steve said. He glared at Billy until he clicked his seatbelt on and then started driving.

“That sucks, man,” Billy said; it did. Steve started going off talking about it, then he started talking about the Flyers again somehow. After a while Harrington finally realized he wasn't talking back.

“Hey, you all right?”

“Sure am,” Billy said.

Steve looked at him; they were almost to the main drag. “Really?”

“Yep,” Billy said.

“Okay, so what's up with you?”

Billy didn't answer for a moment; he wasn't going to say anything. He was almost to work and then he could go in and he wouldn't have to say anything. Then he did say it anyway like a huge dumb asshole. “Real pretty sweater you got back there,” he said.

“Uh, what?” Steve was backing into one of the spots on the street across from the garage; he turned his head to look over his shoulder as he turned the car. Billy saw his eyebrows go up when he noticed Wheeler's pretty pink sweater crumpled up on the seat. “Oh, shit,” he said like a little dork getting caught.

Billy chewed on his lower lip. “When'd you have her in here?” he asked. It had to have been last night. He didn't know why or how; Harrington'd been with him and Max until late. It was pretty fucked up.

“Yeah, that's, that's seriously nothing, I was about to tell you abou – “

“When'd you have her in here?”

“Oh my god, are you getting ticked off?” Steve asked him; he glanced over at Billy as he put the car in park. He looked real amused in two seconds which just made Billy feel even more pissed off. “Wow, it's really noth – look, uh, some weird shit happened with El again or whatever last night, it was like frickin’ one in the morning so I ended up – Mike ran off and left her, ah, Nancy I mean. So I just – “

Billy took two seconds to stop bein' pissed off. “What happened with the kid?” he interrupted him.

“Nothing, she's, she's fine I guess.”

“Okay.” Billy rubbed at his mouth. “You wasn't gonna tell me this shit?”

“Uh, I'm telling you right now, I knew you'd fuckin' act like this so I didn't – “

“What she do?”

“Nothing, we didn’t do anything – “

“I mean Jane, shithead,” Billy told him. Steve stared at him blankly like he didn't know who they was talkin' about for a second, then his face cleared. Really Billy didn't know why no one used the kid's goddamn name.

“I don't know, had a — frickin' nightmare or something?” Steve said like an asshole. “Surprised she didn't, like, have you out there sleepwalking with her.”

Billy ignored him being an asshole. “She okay?”

“Yeah, I said she's fine – “

“What, she was bleedin' again?”

“I guess?” Steve said. “No, I don't know, I didn't see her or anything. I'm sure she did her usual freaky shit.”

Billy rolled his eyes. He never knew why Harrington got so weird about the kid, was like he was scared of her sometimes. It was too stupid. She was just a little kid; she wasn't even thirteen. He'd been the one driving around after Billy all summer like a goddamn FBI agent makin' sure he didn't squawk on her; Billy didn't know what his problem was. Really any bullshit that happened between him and Harrington after that was definitely all Steve's fault. The way he fuckin' felt right now was Steve's fault.

“Look, I – I didn't see her or anything,” Steve continued. “You know nobody tells me shit, Hopper slammed his fuckin' door in my face. So, yeah, Mike just left Nance stranded at the park and I gave her a ride – “

“What, she call you?” Billy asked him; it was so great. He bet Harrington'd just been gunning to go and get her.

Steve looked at him like he was an insane person. “Uh, yeah, because we had to go and get Mike. It was like two in the morning, there's only so many people that know about it all – ”

“That's _great_ , that's really romantic,” Billy said. “You coulda called me.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, that would have been so great, I'm sure that's what everyone needs, half the town running around – “

Billy interrupted him. “You fuck her in here?”

“Oh, my god, shut up.” Steve laughed at him; it was great that he thought Billy was so hilarious. “What, recently?” he said; Billy just looked at him. Steve laughed some more. “Yeah, Bill, me and Nancy screwed in my car with the, the headlights on two hours after I left your house, does that sound like somethin' we'd do?”

“Dunno what she's into,” Billy said. “Did you do it or not?”

Steve stopped laughing at him. “Holy shit, are you serious?” he said. “No, I didn't fuck her, you asshole!”

“Whatever,” Billy said.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said again. “Bill, she's my friend, sometimes you do these things for your friends, they're called favors – “

“Whatever,” Billy said again. Steve thought he was such a fuckin' dumbass but he couldn't see what was right in his face. “She called you for a reason.”

Steve stared at him. “Yeah, because she – are you serious? Are you, like, are you _serious?_  Come on, you really think I'd do something with her?”

“I dunno, you follow her around like a fuckin' puppy dog all the time.”

“No I don't, what the hell.” Harrington was starting to look annoyed now; his mouth was twisting down and his eyebrows were bunching together. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Jesus Christ he was too much. He had to know. “Look, I seen you with her, man,” Billy told him. He felt a little crazy. “She's been up your ass the whole month, she been at you since before she dumped Byers – “

“Okay, _no_ ,” Steve interrupted him. “Uh, no, that's not – you're crazy, I mean I knew that already, there's definitely nothing – okay, wait, is why you've been so fuckin' pissed at me all week?”

“I'm not pissed,” Billy said. It wasn't even really a lie. He wasn't pissed at _Harrington_. Okay he didn't know what he was.

“Yeah you are,” Steve told him in a real matter-of-fact tone; really it kinda scared him how much Harrington had his number. “Jesus, I thought you were bein' especially violent with me lately, I figured you were working through your aggression issues or some shit – “

“I don't got aggression issues,” Billy lied.

“Sure, whatever. Look, how many times do I gotta tell you that I don't care about Nancy?”

“Okay, what about what she wants?”

Steve stared at him blankly. “I don't … care?”

“Man, I _seen_ her,” Billy told him again, a little desperately. It was so hard to say it: he wished he could tell Harrington about the way Nancy looked at him or about the way it made Billy feel. It'd sound even fucking crazier if he said it out loud. “I seen her with you. Wants to get with you again.”

Steve laughed at him again; he still looked pissed off though. “Yeah, no, she really doesn't.”

Billy leaned his head back against his seat. “Stevie. I know what it looks like when someone likes ya.”

“Uh, yeah, so do I,” Steve said like Billy was a huge dumbass.

“Do you?” Billy asked him; Steve rolled his eyes.

“Okay, that's, that not what's going on, she and Jonathan _just_ broke up, Nancy's not like that – “

Jesus Christ they hadn't been together for more than a fuckin' year and he was still jumping to defend her. Billy rolled his eyes. “Ain't she?” he asked Steve. “How long it take her to get a new guy after she fucked you over?”

“Screw you.” Steve looked really pissed off. “I meant – I meant she's not like that for _me_ , she doesn't care about _me_ like that, it doesn't matter!”

“Whatever.” Billy tried to calm himself down; Harrington gettin' all riled up was kinda making him feel like he was being a crazy jealous bitch or something. He probably _was_ bein' that way, couldn't help it. “You gonna get back with her?”

“Oh, my god, Bill, are you fuckin' serious?” Steve asked him loudly. He ran his hand through his hair all annoyed. “I just said I don't want her, I just told you there's nothing going on!”

“Probably could if you wanted to.”

“Okay, well, I – “ Harrington looked like a crazy person with his hair sticking up – “I don't want to, asshole! I don't want to go out with someone like that again!”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“I don't get why you're – why are you saying this _shit_ to me?” Steve asked him. “I thought you – I thought we were good, I thought we were having a good time, I thought maybe that meant something to you.”

 _Having a good time._ Suddenly Billy really didn't want to talk about this anymore. “It does mean somethin' to me,” he said; Steve just stared at him so he reached for the door handle. “Look, whatever, I gotta go to work – “

“Uh, yeah, _no_ , we're not done, asshole,” Steve snapped. He leaned over and snatched Billy's hand back from the door; Billy flinched away without meaning to and then felt like a huge idiot. He just hadn't been expecting it, usually was better than that.

Steve stared at him like he was a huge idiot too. He was still gripping Billy's wrist. “What, what, I wasn't going to hit you,” he said all intense.

Billy wrenched his arm away. There was people on the street; anybody could walk by and see them. “Whatever,” he said again. It was the word of the afternoon.

“I'm serious. Jesus.” Steve was still staring at him. “Bill, I wouldn't hit you like that, I'm not your fuckin' dad.”

“Yeah, I know that, don't wanna fuckin' hook up with my dad,” Billy told him; Steve rolled his eyes.

“Great, that's good to know, why are you being a total _asshole_ to me right now?”

“I'm not,” Billy told him. “You guys told me to use my words, I just wanna know what's goin' on.”

“Oh my god, nothing's going on, I gave her _one_ ride home – “

Billy knew what rides home led to. He thought about how Harrington'd looked smiling and laughing and looking up at Wheeler in his car, at the diner. It made him so crazy. “Can get back with her if you want,” he said.

“Fuck you,” Steve said dismissively. He had his hand in his hair again like Billy was really trying his patience. “Jesus, I didn't think you'd be like this, you're such a fuckin' baby – “

“Look, we can still hook up if you get back with her,” Billy said; he was giving him an out. “You just gotta let me know what's up.”

Steve made a great annoyed face. His eyes bugged out like in a cartoon. “What the _fuck_ are you talking – “

“I'm serious. Just don't fuck around with me, man,” Billy told him.

“Oh my god, do you think I'd do that?”

Billy didn't really know what to say. He didn't know; he didn't know what Steve'd do. Harrington was a better person than he was but that didn't mean too much. Billy knew better than to expect anything out of people. He thought again that Steve couldn't really be queer like him; probably they couldn't keep doing what they were doing for forever. “S'what everyone's expecting you to do,” he said; he wasn't lookin' at him.

Harrington still looked annoyed as hell. He flopped back in his seat and scowled. “Yeah, seems like a lot of people expect a lot of shit out of me, maybe I'm fuckin' tired of it.”

“Just meant it would be easier for you,” Billy told him. Steve stared blankly; Billy supplied, “Easier than me.”

Steve scoffed. “Uh, yeah, I know that, pretty much anything would be easier than you, you fucking asshole.”

“Yeah, well, I mean. I mean, I dunno. Way I look at it, I, I, I dunno what you're doin' with me,” Billy said. Apparently he couldn't even get out a fuckin' simple sentence anymore. “You’re not — I mean, you know Wheeler never beat the shit out of you in the middle of the night,” he pointed out and then wished he hadn't; they never talked about it.

“Gee, yeah, I know that, thanks for bringing that up.” Steve made a face. Then he looked thoughtful instead of pissed the fuck off; he was a crazy person. “I mean, Nancy also lied to me and pointed a loaded gun in my face, so, I dunno,” he said slowly. “Maybe I'm movin' up or whatever.”

Billy stared blankly. “Uh. What?”

“Nothing, it was a misunderstanding,” Steve said vaguely. He pursed his lips and looked real annoyed again. “Look, I don't wanna talk about her, okay? I can't believe you're making me say this _fucking shit_ to you, asshole – “

“I ain't makin' you say nothin'.“

“Oh my god, shut up for two seconds,” Steve moaned. “I don't want – _Nancy_ , you shithead, I don't want to get back with her! I thought you fuckin' knew that, I want – I want _you_ , I want to be with you, okay? Fuck!”

Billy stared at him; Steve stared back and looked even more irritated if that was even possible. “What?” he snapped. “Is that, is that _okay_ with you?”

“I guess so,” Billy managed.

“Great, that's great, you guess, I'm so glad we had this talk, I love you fuckin' screamin' at me for ten minutes,” Steve said like a dramatic bitch; he was scowling and looking ahead at the sidewalk and the shop again.

“I wasn't screaming at you,” Billy told him; he felt totally overwhelmed and didn't know what to say now. “I just – “

“You have _serious_ fucking issues, you piece of shit, I thought you were, like, I thought you were supposed to be the cool guy.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not.”

“Great! So neither of us is!” Steve yelled his head off at him. He leaned back against his seat again and glared at Billy. “Okay, you – look, you have to say it back now!”

“Uh, what?”

“You have to say it back, asshole, fucking make me feel better!” Steve told him; his eyes bugged out like a crazy person. He was still scowling and looked like he wanted to slug Billy; really he looked like that half the time anyway.

“Okay, what, I don't want Nancy either.”

“Oh, my GOD,” Steve said loudly. He rubbed his eyes hard; he was gonna rub his contacts out of his eyes in about a minute. “Can you not be a piece of shit to me for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS – “

“Guess not,” Billy said; Steve looked at him like he was about to pop a blood vessel in his head. “What, I want you too,” Billy said; how many times was he supposed to say it. “That what you want?”

“YEAH, I GUESS SO,” Steve yelled at him like a dramatic bitch.

“Okay, great.”

Steve sighed. He rubbed at his eye again; he put his hand in his hair. He was looking out at the sidewalk again. He looked kinda tired and Billy hadn't noticed before. He'd been too busy bein’ pissed off. “We gotta get better at this shit,” Steve muttered.

“Yeah, I know.” He didn't know what to say now; felt stupid. “Look, I – “ Fuck. “ I just – I kept seein' her with you, it makes me crazy, okay?”

“No, I know, I get it,” Steve said. He still sounded kinda annoyed too but maybe that was okay. “You think I don't – ? I mean, it's not like I can tell her or whatever. I mean actually, actually I'd love to fuckin' tell her, I'd love to see her face, but I'm not, I can't – “

“Yeah I know,” Billy said.

“Okay.” Steve was biting his lip and still looking out at the shop; his hair was still all crazy too. “So you – look, are we okay now or whatever?”

“Guess so,” Billy said. He felt majorly stupid now; he didn't know how he felt. Neither of them said anything for a couple seconds. Steve said, “You can’t keep doing this shit to me, man.”

Billy didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. “Didn't want to freak out you.”

“Whatever, it doesn't matter,” Steve said. He was definitely tired; Billy felt like he had at least ten more minutes worth of bitchin' left in him. “So you still want a ride home?”

“Guess so,” Billy said again. Steve turned his head and glared at him again; Billy actually felt true slight terror. “Yeah, I want a ride home.”

“You better be fucking nice to me later, I'm tired of your _shit,_ ” Steve told him.

“Yeah, I will be.”

“Yeah, get rid of Max, you can blow me for like twenty minutes,” Steve said all grouchy; Billy almost laughed.

“Really doubt you can last that long.”

Steve laughed and Billy felt okay. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah, maybe you will,” Billy said. Steve laughed again and looked at him for a second; Jesus Christ he needed to keep his fucking mouth shut. “I, uh – “

“Yeah, you're like, pretty late,” Steve said in a weird voice.

“Right. Yeah, I gotta go.” He reached out for the doorhandle again. “You gonna come get me at eight?”

“Yeah, I'll come get you.” Steve watched him get out of the car and cross over the front of it; he said, “Bill.”

Billy went over to the window and leaned over. “Yeah?”

“Uh – “ Steve had his nervous face on and he wasn't bein' too loud – “look, I mean it, okay? I don't want – I like you, okay?”

“Okay,” Billy said. “Me too.”

“I thought you fuckin' knew that.”

“Guess I do.”

“Okay, so. Are you going to stop being a fucking asshole to me?” Steve asked him.

“Yeah I'll try,” Billy said.

“Okay,” Steve said; he still looked weird. “Okay, see you later.”

“Okay.”

He went on into the shop; Hank was huffing and puffing going back and forth from the garage to the front with shit he needed to count. His brother Miles was sitting on the shop counter with no less than two bandanas on reading a magazine.

Billy stopped feelin' dizzy and lamented his life. He wasn't used to both of 'em being here on a weekend; it was too terrible.

“You need me to do somethin'?” he asked Hank.

Hank huffed and puffed by him with a box of brake pads. “No, Bill, you're good, you can go on to the back,” he said. “Tell your stepmom she can pick her car up this week, gonna get your part in Monday too.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Miles was lowering his magazine and looking over at him in fairy delight. “We saw you and your boyfriend fussing in his car, looked like you were havin' an intense discussion,” he sparkled.

Jesus God. “He ain't my fuckin' boyfriend,” Billy said.

“Did you two have a lover's quarrel?” Miles asked him like a shitheel.

Billy snatched the magazine from him and hit him over the head with it; Miles threw his head back and cackled.

Hank puffed past them with another box of coolant. He knocked into Billy's shoulder. “Leave Bill alone, asshole,” he told his brother. “Why you startin' shit?”

“I am leaving him alone, I asked a question,” Miles said.

“Why you even come in here? You ain't helping me count shit.”

“I'm prepping for it.”

“Readin' your fuckin' homo magazine – “ Miles laughed at him too.

Billy left them alone in the front to do their bantering game; when he got into the garage he could barely hear them anyway. The radio was real static-y again like Elijane'd never even touched it but that was all right too.

He opened up the hood of the Tacoma. He kept hearing Steve said _I want you, I want to be with you, okay?_ and _Look, I mean it_. He felt almost okay again.

 

They couldn't get rid of Maxine but it ended up bein' an all right time anyway. Billy was fucking filthy from working on the truck for six hours; motherfucker still didn't run and he was gonna end up havin' to ask Hank to help him. He didn't want to have to do that.

Back at the house Susan was working late and nobody was around. Billy left Harrington to listen to Max's complaining about the general store and went off to take a shower. Once he was done that Max bitched her head off for the whole hockey game too; Billy was lamenting his life. “Why ain't you at Bev's?”

“UH, I WORKED FOR SIX HOURS,” Max bitched her head off.

“Yeah, so did I,” Billy said.

“Anyway I can't go over there, she is getting to third base with Ryan Pearson tonight,” Maxine informed him; Billy really hadn't needed to know that. “AT LEAST SOMEONE IS GETTING SOME ACTION AROUND HERE,” she went the fuck off. Steve made a great face.

“Okay, so why aren't you at Lucas's?” he asked her.

Maxine turned her ultraviolet glare on him and Steve shrank back against Billy on the couch for a second. “You know I'm not allowed out with him UNACCOMPANIED,” she said. “Why do you have to be an asshole, Steve?”

“I'm not, I'm – “

“Anyway, Lucas doesn't have a job, he doesn't understand me now,” Max said all dramatic; somehow Billy managed not to laugh.

After the game she put MTV on and tortured them listenin' to Top of the Pops for a while; at around midnight she got up to go to her room. “ _Goodnight_ , boys,” she said all pointedly as she got up.

Steve and Billy ignored her. Maxine made a big production of closing her door loudly.

She'd left the remote all the way on the other end of the coffee table; they sat and suffered watchin' the concert for a while longer. “Iggy Pop's such a douchebag now,” Steve said. He laid his head on Billy's shoulder like they hadn't just had a huge screaming argument about ten hours ago. “Is Max gonna come back out and catch us, am I allowed to do this?” He sounded like he was bein' smart.

“I guess,” Billy said.

Steve shifted around on him; he was getting comfortable. He was pretty heavy. “You can tell her about us if you want,” he said. “Or not, I mean, I know you really want to see Metallica, are you gonna take me?”

Jesus Christ. Billy thought about Harrington at a Metallica concert with one of his yuppie polo shirts tucked into his pants; it was too good. “Yeah I'll take you,” he said. Then he said, “I'm gonna tell her, I don't want her runnin' her mouth off.”

“I don't think she would,” Steve said. He didn't know about Susan overhearing or Max yapping her head off at the mall that Billy needed a fuckin' boyfriend. “What, ah, are you going to tell her?”

He was being a fucking asshole; he sounded like it was funny. He actually wanted Billy to say it.

Billy glared at the TV. “That we like each other,” he said all mad like twelve year old.

Steve laughed at him. “Okay, you can tell her that you're my bitch too. OW!” he said when Billy slugged him.

Billy pinned him down on the couch. “Don't start your fuckin' shit with me, Harrington.”

“Leave me alone, I was like half asleep!” Steve was still laughing at him. “Why do you have to fuckin' hit me all the time?”

Billy let him up; he remembered he'd said he'd be nice earlier. He took the remote from the coffee table and changed the channel on the TV. “Okay, I stopped.”

“ _Murder She Wrote_ is on on channel three,” Harrington told him like a little dork. Billy put it on for him anyway; Steve fell asleep on his shoulder in two seconds. He had his arms wrapped around a throw pillow from the couch like a kid.

Like usual it was a real exciting weekend night; Billy didn't really want to wake him up. He sat awkwardly on the couch for a long time watching _Murder She Wrote_ with Steve fuckin' drooling on his shoulder.

At a quarter past one a pair of headlights shone in front of the house; Susan's coworker was droppin' her off. Billy thought about shrugging Harrington off of him and then felt like too big of an asshole to do it. Normal people had normal friends; maybe they even laid their heads on them sometimes.

Susan didn't have a gay panic over them when she came in. She smiled at Billy and turned to lock the door up. She looked tired too. She went into her bedroom and came back out without her heels on. She was holdin' an extra blanket; she tossed it over Steve and his throw pillow.

“Don't let him drive home tonight, it's too late to be out,” she said like a mom. She went around the back of the couch and touched the top of Billy's head as she walked by; Billy made a face.

Steve stirred on his shoulder. “Uhh. W'sit?” he said like a crazy person.

“Nothin', go back to sleep,” Billy told him.

 

* * *

 

The week went by too slowly; on Wednesday he got to hang out with Steve again so he didn't mind. Steve got high with him and gave him a blowjob. It was pretty much the best day of Billy's life.

Billy'd got his car fixed and Steve had got out of work a little early; they met at Billy's house after Billy had his practice. Susan was leaving for work right as they'd came in. She'd spent about eight minutes apologizing for not makin' something for dinner; Billy told her they'd manage somehow. He and Steve were okay and Maxine was off with her friend Beverly until dinnertime.

They had the TV on playin' some rerun of _Family Matters_ ; they wasn't really watching it though. They weren't hooking up yet but they probably would in a coupla minutes. Billy was bein' real nicey-nice; Steve had sounded kinda down when they'd talked on the phone last night.

Steve was telling him a little bit about his day at work but mostly he was flirting with Billy too. It was weird to have a guy flirting with you, letting you know they liked you back. Hell to Billy it was weird to have anyone he liked flirting with him; usually he didn't care.

Steve played over the arm of Billy's thermal shirt; he'd poked holes through the sleeves for his thumbs. “I like this thing you do with your sleeves,” Steve told him. Jesus he was such a fuckin' dork; Billy was so into him. He bet even now that Steve's mom would beat the holy hell out of him if he ever put holes in his own clothes.

“What else you like?” Billy asked him; Steve laughed.

The door burst open. Maxine and Beverly appeared in the doorframe; Steve and Billy didn't even have time to jerk apart.

Max and Bev stared at them; the boys stared back. Billy'd never been so glad in his life that he hadn't been holdin' someone's hand. “What're you doing?” he asked Max.

“NOTHING, what are YOU doing?” Max asked him like a crazy person. She clearly didn't have her gay radar turned on today.

“Uh, nothing,” Billy said back; Steve said, “Why do you guys look like you just pulled off a bank heist?”

Bev walked further into the living room and stared at them; she was wearing the shortest little shorts Billy'd ever seen on a fifteen year old and her frizzy red hair was all crazy. She was holding her backpack in front of herself like a little idiot and lookin' at him all bug-eyed. She said, “I have got _so much_ dope in my bag right now, we ran all the way here.”

“Uh, excuse me?” Steve said; Bev ignored him.

“Billy!” she said. “If I give you one, will you roll some joints for me?”

“What?” Billy said. “Hang on, did you hawk it off someone?”

Bev scoffed and turned to Max. “I told you he wouldn't do it!”

“Okay, okay, I ain't say that,” Billy said. He shifted away from Steve a little on the couch. “Who'd you get weed from?”

Bev came over and thunked her backpack on the coffee table; she started rifling through it. “Angela Davis sold it to me.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Billy gasped; Steve said, “Wait, _what? Angela?”_

Bev looked at him weird. “What about her?”

“You know her?” Billy asked him.

“Yeah, she's, she's one of Nancy's friends, do you know her?”

“Uh, yeah, sits with me in study hall 'bout once a week.” Steve stared at him. “She was Velma from Scooby-Doo at that party we went to before.”

Steve stared blankly at him some more. “I didn't know you were friends.”

“We ain't friends, she don't give me any dope,” Billy said in a big sulk.

“What does she give you?” Steve asked him like a crazy girlfriend.

Billy thought about it. “Gave me a book last week, I helped her with her paper for class.”

“Uh, what book?”

“Wow, can you talk about this later, Steve?” Maxine demanded. “Her brother Malcolm sells, she gave us the last of it.”

“She didn't give it to me, she overcharged me!” Bev yapped. “This is like a week of work at the grocery store, and some of Max's money!” She fished a plastic baggie out of her pack and tossed it down on the table.

“Hahahaha, holy _shit,_ ” Billy said in delight; it was a lot of dope. Max rolled her eyes at him.

“Wait, shut the hell up, Malcom Davis deals?” Steve gasped; he was all wide-eyed like his world was bein' turned upside down.

“Didn't he graduate with you?” Bev asked him.

“Yeah, he was on the fuckin' chess team,” Steve said; Billy started laughing.

Bev made a sound and looked real annoyed at them; she was almost as bad as Maxine but not quite as scary. “Billy! Can you roll it for me or not?”

“What, you ain't got a piece?”

“No way, my mom would murder me if she found it,” Bev told him. “I stole some of her boyfriend's cigarette papers.”

Bev was pretty smart; Billy'd figured she'd want to use gum wrappers or something. “Yeah, I'll roll it for you.” He pulled the baggie towards himself. “Hahahaha.”

Maxine flopped down on the loveseat across from them. “See? I told you he would.”

“Guys, your frickin' front door's wide open,” Steve pointed out; Beverly yelped and ran to shut it. She locked the door and stood leaned against it like a gangly little deer. She looked like the FBI was gonna burst in at any second; Billy was getting a huge kick out of her. He dumped the weed onto the coffee table and started breakin' it up.

“You better get all of that up, Mom's going to be able to tell and freak the hell out,” Maxine said.

“I know what I'm doin',” Billy told her. He'd been smoking weed around Susan for goin' on five years now; there was a lot of shit Susan let him get away with really. Honestly he suspected she lit up herself sometimes. Was about the only way Billy could see someone dealin' with having to bang his old man. Hahahaha. “Where's your papers at?” he asked Bev.

She rummaged around in her bookbag and handed them over, then she sat down in front of the coffee table and watched him like she was takin' mental notes. She should be; Billy wasn't gonna fuckin' drop everything to roll for her all the time even if she gave him a couple hits.

Steve stared at him too as he started the first joint. “Jesus, how many times have you done this?” he said. Billy gave him a look; so did Max. “Nevermind, that's a stupid question, enough with the faces.”

Maxine laughed at him. She came over and nicked the remote to put MTV on. She sat down next to Bev on the floor and looked at Billy too.

“Why do I got a damn audience?” Billy asked her without looking up.

“This is useful stuff, Billy, you can finally teach me something.” Billy rolled his eyes. “Is it an approved technique to get your spit all over the paper or is that your own personal touch?”

“Fuck you, you gotta seal it,” Billy said.

“Can I do one?”

“Yeah, have at it.” Maxine looked all serious; she rolled the worst joint he'd ever seen in his life. “That ain't the one you're givin' me.” Max laughed.

Billy finished rolling and Bev inspected his work all critical; she gave him two joints. “Thanks, get outta here,” Billy told her. Bev laughed at him and she and Max dashed off to her room. Jesus God.

Steve was still looking at him with a funny expression on his face. “What, you mad I didn't bust 'em?” Billy asked.

“No, I don't care what they do,” Steve said. “They're gonna do it anyway, right?”

“Yep.” Billy was flicking his lighter. “You wanna get high with me?”

Steve laughed at him. “Yeah, sure.”

“Don't wanna peer pressure you, Stella,” Billy said.

“Thanks, I'm good. Are you gonna do it right out here?”

Billy thought about it. Susan let him get away with a lot but maybe he shouldn't light up right in the living room with no fan or anything. “Guess we can go to my room.”

“Okay.”

In his room Billy let Steve have the first hit; they sat on his bed for a while and passed the joint between them. Steve coughed a lot. It was better than Tommy's weed, they both agreed.

Billy got up to lock his door and messed around with the turntable for a couple minutes. He still had Megadeth on from the other day. “Can listen to something else if you want,” he said.

“Uh, it doesn't matter,” Steve said without looking up; he was distracted and probably high already. He'd sat Indian-style on the end of Billy's bed by the window and was looking through a crates of records that'd been on the floor. He was wearing a baggy grey-striped sweatshirt today and the amazing glasses; he looked fucking incredible smoking and looking through Billy's records.

Billy stared at him. Steve looked up after a minute. “What?” he said. “Oh, you want this?”

Billy stared some more; he was pretty sure Harrington already knew what he wanted. Then he thought: _oh_. Hahahaha. Steve was talking about the joint. “Yeah,” Billy said anyway.

He thought about it and put Fleetwood Mac on; it was their live record. He crossed the room and sat with his back against his mattress.

Steve leaned forward a ways on the bed and handed what was left of the joint over. Usually Billy felt kinda weird with Steve in his room but he was already a little high too so it didn't matter now. Harrington's room was about twice the size of his and he had a bunch of cool fancy shit; Billy had a squeaky mattress and a bedframe with no headboard, a buncha ratty books and a record player Steve'd got him. One day Harrington was gonna look around and wonder what the fuck he was doing there with him.

Billy sat and smoked; Steve kept on shuffling through his records. Fleetwood was playing 'Never Going Back Again.'

Steve laughed. “Okay, you're – yeah, you're never gonna make any sense to me. You've got, okay, Judas Priest, you've got Venom, I get that, what the hell's this?” He leaned over again and dangled a record in Billy's face; it was _Easter_ by Patti Smith.

“What's wrong with it?” Billy asked him. Patti Smith was an ugly chick but Billy thought she was kinda badass. He took the case and looked at it. “Think this was like the last record I bought for my mom.”

“Oh, shit,” Steve said in a weird voice. “Uh, sorry, I didn't know that.”

Billy was still looking at the record cover. “You know your boy Springsteen wrote her big song.”

“Really?” Steve said; Billy showed him. “Oh, I didn't know that either.”

“It probably ain't even in here anymore.” He slid the record out of its casing. It wasn't Patti Smith; it was a Black Flag album with a crack split down the middle. “Kinda wanna listen to it now. I broke a lot of my mom's shit when she died,” Billy told him. “Tapes and stuff. Broke this lamp she really liked.”

“Oh,” Steve said again. “You – why'd you do that?”

“Mm.” Billy smoked the joint. “Just got mad. I mean, figured my dad would hawk it all anyway.”

“Did he do that?”

“Yeah, he sold a lot of her shit after.”

“So how did … “ Steve trailed off. Billy could feel him looking at him; he tossed the record down on the floor and took another hit. “Uh, were you with her? When she died?”

Really in seven or eight months Harrington'd probably asked him about four things about his mom; even so it always felt like he was asking Billy shit about his mom. Like usual Billy didn't really want to talk about it. “No. She was alone.”

“Oh,” Steve said; he sounded like he was waitin' for something else.

“What, you wanna have some big emotional talk with me now?”

“I – yeah, sure, I mean, if you wanna tell me.”

”Okay,” Billy said. “You wanna hear about my mom?”

”Of course I do.”

Billy thought about it. Maybe he could say two things. “Okay,” he said again. He thought about it some more. “Used to ride my bike to go and see her at the hospital.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I remember,” Steve said; he was demonstratin' his good boyfriend skills. Billy shouldn't really be thinking like that.

“Okay,” Billy said. “Was just, like, a normal day. You remember I told you one time I didn't go?”

“Uh – sure, I think so,” said Steve. He was still up on the bed and Billy was still facing away from him; it was easier to say it when nobody was lookin' at him.

“I just didn't want to. Next day she told me, like, she'd been waitin' for me. Then, uh. I think it was like a week later. Remember I came home from school late, I didn't want to go and see her again. I wasn't gonna go.”

Steve didn't say anything. Billy could tell he was waiting again. He picked the record back up and flipped it over to look at the cover. He felt about thirteen years old and so alone in two seconds. Why'd Harrington wanna know this shit.

He kept on talking though. “I think, uh, there was some fuckin' game at school I wanted to go to or somethin'. It was like a Tuesday, so … it wasn't some big thing. I just, uh, didn't want to go and see her, you know?”

“I know, man,” Steve said.

“She got real bad at the end,” Billy told him. “Like by the time she went back in there we knew she was gonna die. Just, uh, really sucked to go there,” he said.

“Yeah,” Steve said.

“And I just got home and, uh, I dunno. My uncle was sittin' on the couch waiting for me with my old man. And I just knew,” Billy said. “So I just went into her room and broke a buncha shit.”

“God, that's – uh, that's really tough, Bill – “

“Surprised my old man didn't beat the shit out of me.”

“Yeah, me too, really,” Steve said. He sounded real weird - kind of amused in the least good way possible. He sounded real sorry for him. Billy didn't know how he could sound like that and not make Billy want to punch him.

The end of the joint was burning his fingertips; he took another hit off it and leaned over and put it out on his windowsill. “I never really told anybody about that before,” he said. It wasn't even some big thing to tell.

“Really? What about Max?”

Billy made a face; Jesus Harrington really thought they was the fuckin' Bobbsey twins or some shit. “We don't really talk about my mom.” He looked over at the joint burnt out on the windowsill; he probably could have gotten another drag off it. He thought about it. “I dunno if you really, really picked up on this, I ain't really had a lot of friends or whatever before.”

“What, you?” Steve said like a shitheel. “But you're so friendly and open about everything.” Billy reached up behind himself to slug Steve and got him in the shoulder; Steve laughed. “Fuck you! What if that was my nose?”

“Could only improve it,” Billy said; Steve yanked his earring _hard_. “OW, BITCH!” Billy said. Steve laughed at him some more because he was an abusive fuck. He flopped over on the bed and pressed his forehead against Billy's shoulder for a minute.

“So did your dad get, like, worse after she died?” he asked.

Usually Billy didn't like talkin' about his dad with Steve either; he was a little looped out right now though so he didn't mind that either. He was pretty sure this was the biggest his room had ever been. Wow. “Nah, he kinda left me alone for a while. I started goin' around with a couple'a girls, I guess he was glad I wasn't turnin' into some huge faggot like he thought. Then he met Susan in a minute, so.”

“Uh, right.” Steve sounded kind of uncomfortable; they was kind of bein' huge faggots right now Billy guessed. He should probably stop saying shit like that.

Billy thought about it. He said, “Like, when I was a kid he didn't like – uh, people seein' how fucked up he was I guess. Was just me and my mom, he ain't like us havin' people over. Think when I was like ten or eleven he came home and I had this kid over, this guy from my class, we was makin' a big mess in the living room. Makin' a big fort like in, ah, _Conan the Barbarian,_ like _Rambo_ shit. He said I was way too old for that shit, beat my ass with the fuckin' front door wide open.”

“Okay, that's _totally_ fucked up, you're never too old to make a fort,” Steve told him all impassioned; Billy laughed.

“Yeah, was like this big thing later at school, kid told everybody my dad kicked the shit out of me and that I cried like a bitch, I had to kick everyone's ass for like two weeks.”

“Je-sus, they made fun of you for that?”

Billy shrugged. “Yeah, you know how people are, fuckin' assholes.” Harrington stared at him and didn’t say anything. “What, you ain't never said shit about somebody's family?”

“I guess I have,” Steve said in a weird voice.

“I just never, yeah, I never really had that many friends after that,” Billy told him. It felt weird to say it like that; he guessed it was the truth though.

“Well, you had your girlfriend though, right?” Steve said.

“Guess so.”

“And Max.”

Billy made a terrible face. “She don't count.”

“Well, you have friends now,” Steve told him. He pushed himself up and leaned over Billy. He made a stupid face. “You got, uh, you have your best friend _Angela Davis,_ you know – ”

“All right, asshole – “

Steve laughed at him. “You have, you got Dustin and – whatdya call, them, the creepy kids, those assholes. You have me now.”

“Do I?” Billy asked him; Steve made another face. He looked great upside down.

“Yeah, if you want,” he said.

Billy tilted his head back and looked up at him again. “Okay,” he said. Steve leaned over and kissed him upside-down; it was really hot. Billy reached up and grabbed his hair. Steve put his hand on Billy's shirt collar so Billy twisted away for a moment and got up. Steve pulled him onto the bed; Billy fell on him and started kissing him.

Steve laughed at him. “S'it okay to do this here?” he asked.

“Guess so,” Billy said against his mouth. He was smarter than fuckin' Max was; he always knew to lock his door. It was weird to hook up in his room but he was pretty sure his old man wasn't gonna bust through the wall like he was the the fuckin' Kool-Aid guy or something. _OH YEAH. Have some juice, you fuckin' faggot._ That made him start laughing a lot.

“What?”

“Nothin',” Billy managed; Steve laughed at him. Billy pressed his face against the front of Steve's shirt and after a couple seconds he got himself under control. He wasn't gonna get all fucked up laughing and ruin a makeout session. He pushed Steve against his pillow and kissed him some more. “Just don't get all fuckin' loud like you do.”

“What are even you talking about? I'm not loud, asshole!” Steve said, loud. Billy bit his neck. “Ah!” Steve laughed some more.

They kissed for a while; it was so good and Billy felt real spaced out. He hadn't smoked in a while and he didn't know how much time was passin' by.

Steve had real nice arms. Billy liked them; he kept gripping them through the sweatshirt. Somehow his own shirt was on the floor. He wasn't sure when that had happened.

He sat up and tried to pull Steve's sweater off too; it got stuck on his giant hair and made them both laugh. Underneath it he just had another little t-shirt and Billy lamented his life; that was too much work. Steve was like a cartoon character or something. He always had so much clothes on. Billy flopped back down on him before he could start fucking giggling again.

A loud crash and an explosion of laughter came from Max's room and they both startled; Billy sat up a little. From her room, Max was cackling and hollering. “I KNOW, AND THEN LUCAS SAID – “ she was cut off by Bev's shriek of disgust.

Steve lolled his head back on the pillow and laughed. “Holy crap, what d'ya think Lucas said?” he asked dramatically; Billy started laughing too much. Steve grinned at him. He put his hand on the back of Billy's neck and pulled him back down. “Oh my god, you're too stupid right now, you need to shut up.”

“I wanna know what he said,” Billy said. He was still laughing. He thought about bursting through Maxine's wall like he was the Kool-Aid guy; she'd flip her shit. Holy shit he was too stupid right now. He put his forehead against Steve's neck and laughed some more.

Everything was too funny but Steve was still really hot; Billy kissed his neck and the side of his face and bunched his little t-shirt up in his hands. Steve kept sighing and running his hands down Billy's back. He aligned their hips together and made some kinda sound.

Billy started grinning. “Are you gettin' excited, Stevie?” he asked him.

“Uhhh, I think so,” Steve said. He was such a fuckin' romantic. He also talked about fifty percent less when he was high; Billy thought he should remember that.

“Okay, show me.”

Steve made a face at him. “What, really?”

“Yeah, what you gonna do?”

“Okay,” Steve said. He grabbed Billy and flipped him over on the bed; Billy started laughing his head off. Harrington jazzed him up so fuckin' much – sometimes he forgot that Steve was pretty strong.

“HAHAHA!” Billy said happily.

Steve laughed at him in surprise. “Oh my god, you fucking dork!” he said. “Can you be quiet? Holy shit.” He pinned Billy's arms up over his head and Billy laughed again.

“Oh shit, okay, yeah, okay,” he babbled out like an idiot; he got really hard in two seconds. Steve laughed at him and leaned down to bite his lip.

They kissed for a while; eventually Steve released his grip on Billy's wrists. Usually Billy wanted everything hard and fast and right away but sometimes Harrington could get him to slow down. He kissed Billy's neck and worked his way down his chest; he seemed to like doing that. Billy liked him doing that so it was all good. He squirmed when Steve held his hips down on the bed.

“Bill, are you gettin' excited?” he asked like an asshole; he was running his hand over Billy's dick through his jeans.

“I fuckin' hate you,” Billy told him.

“Hmm. I dunno.” Steve leaned up and kissed him again; Billy opened his mouth and put his hand in Steve's hair.

Finally Steve moved back down. Billy tried not to moan; he was finally gonna get jerked off. Usually he did Harrington first. “Okay, uh,” Steve said in a weird voice. He slid off the mattress and grabbed Billy's hips and dragged him towards the end of the bed. He started undoing his belt. Billy said, “Oh shit, fuck, okay.”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up,” Steve begged him; he got Billy's jeans undone and worked them down to his knees. He yanked Billy's boxers down and wrapped his hand around his cock; he had Billy pretty trapped. “You're gonna make me fucking nervous.”

“Okay, well don't bite it or nothin'.”

“Fuck you, don't tempt me,” Steve told him.

He ran his hands over Billy's thighs; Billy was so glad he'd showered after basketball practice. He tried real hard to be good and not say too much shit. It didn't really work. “You know you don't gotta – “

Steve licked the whole underside of Billy's dick and then put the tip of it in his mouth; Billy's eyes rolled back in his head. “OH, _SHIT,_ ” he said.

Steve took his mouth off him and laughed. “Oh my god! Shut up!”

“I can't shut up, I'm too high,” Billy whined like a kid. “Why'd you stop? Come on, suck my cock.”

Steve laughed. He still had his hand on Billy's dick; he was doin' wonderful things. “You're such a prick,” he said. “Ask me real nice.”

Jesus God. Billy licked his lips and closed his eyes. “ _Please_ suck my cock,” he said.

“Yeah, that's not really that nice,” Steve told him. He put his mouth back on him.

It wasn't exactly the best blowjob Billy'd ever had or anything. It was still Steve doin' it though so it was pretty fucking great regardless. Steve kept stopping and pulling back every couple seconds; wasn't really a rhythm going. He choked when he tried to get Billy's whole dick in his mouth and made them both laugh. “Okay, yeah, that's not going to happen today.”

Usually Billy could come in about a minute even now with Harrington touching him; he'd definitely never used his mouth before so normally it'd be even quicker. Since Billy was pretty high it took about three whole minutes. Steve nicked him twice with his teeth but that was okay; he dropped his hands and pushed Billy's hips back down against the mattress when he started movin' around too much.

“Fuck, okay,” Billy said; he sat up and put his hands in Steve's hair. He was gonna die in two seconds looking at Steve on his dick with the amazing glasses. “Shit, man.”

“Uh-huh,” Steve mumbled around his dick; Billy's whole body shook. Steve worked at him for another couple seconds until Billy started pushing at his shoulder.

“Get off me, I'm gonna fucking come.”

Steve slid off his dick; apparently he didn't have some kinda witty reply like usual. He kept pumping Billy with his hand real hard like Billy liked and Billy came all over his fist; some of it sprayed up on his stomach. He clutched his mattress so tight he pulled the sheet off.

“Fuck,” Billy said. He collapsed back on the bed. His head was spinning a lot, kinda like being on a roller coaster when you closed your eyes or something. Steve wiped his hand off on the mattress because he was a fucking asshole. He bit the side of Billy's hip and then licked some come off his stomach. Billy shuddered. He'd always known Harrington was some kinda kinky motherfucker; he was so amazing. Steve kissed his way back up Billy's chest and then flopped down next to him again.

Billy rolled over and kissed him. His mouth tasted weird; it wasn't that bad or anything. How many times had he kissed Steve after he'd blown him. “Did you just do that 'cause you're high?” he asked him. That'd be okay too but he wanted to know.

“No, I wanted to,” Steve said. “Sorry it took me so long.”

Billy didn't really know what to say back that wasn't too dorky or romantic. He leaned over and kissed Steve again; eventually he pulled him back on top of him.

He got his hand between them and rubbed his palm over the front of Steve's jeans; he was only half-hard. “Can suck you off,” he said.

“Uh,” Steve said; he was kind of laughing. “Yeah, that's okay, I don't – I can't really get off when I'm stoned, I had a real fun experience finding that out.”

“Okay,” Billy said and kissed him again. Apparently it was traumatic; Steve could tell him about that later. “I think you can do it,” he said.

“Mm. Uh, I dunno.”

Billy kissed him some more and kept rubbing at his cock until Steve was twitching around and making his usual great sounds into his mouth. “Okay,” Billy said again. He started unzipping Steve's jeans. Steve helped him get them off. He was wearing grey boxer briefs today; he was growin' up. Billy was gonna start laughing again in two seconds.

“Oh my god, I'm still too fuckin' high,” Steve mumbled; he kicked Billy in the leg somehow getting back on the bed.

Billy laughed at him. “Are ya really?”

“Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna go out the window.”

Billy laughed some more; he was trying not to be too mean or whatever. “You're not, I got you.” They shifted around on Billy's little bed. “Are you like, I can already tell, you like one of those people that gets real anxious and shit when you smoke?” Billy asked him.

“What do you mean, when I smoke, I'm anxious all the time,” Steve said like a crazy person; Billy guessed that was about right. He was making Billy laugh too much again.

“Okay. C'mere.” He pulled Steve forward by the front of his shirt.

“What, what, where am I going,” Steve said; he let himself be pulled.

Billy pushed himself back up and sat leaned back against his pillow, then he got Steve laid back against him like he wanted. Somehow he got the little t-shirt off. Steve turned his head and kissed him for a while; they was kind of at an awkward angle. Billy pressed his mouth against the side of Steve's neck. He looked at his three favorite freckles.

Billy touched him some more and then got his underwear off too. Harrington had little chicken legs; Billy nicely didn't point this out. Steve had a bruise-ring around his arm and a couple more bruises on his hips from Billy grabbin' him and throwing him around his house all last week. “Why you let me do this shit to you, man?” he muttered.

“Hm? I don't care,” Steve said. “You can do whatever you want to me.”

Holy shit he was so stoned; Billy grinned against his neck. He played around with Steve's huge amazing dick for a while to see how many noises he could get him to make. He'd decided to go kinda slow in case Harrington freaked out and had a panic attack or some shit. Anyway he didn't mind; he could mess with Steve's amazing cock all day.

Steve sighed when Billy moved his hand over him a certain way. “Okay, that's really good.” Billy laughed and managed not to say anything; he knew what Harrington liked.

Billy had some fun with him; he played around with Steve's balls and let his big cock flop against his stomach. It was so pretty and he made the best sounds.

Billy guessed he liked doing this shit to girls, too – he liked touching them and gettin' them all worked up and messy. Tracey'd usually yell her head off at him after; he hadn't been allowed to get near her if they'd had somewhere important to be.

Jesus he probably should get some lube or something. His old man would probably find it somehow – or even worse, Maxine would. Billy gagged internally and pushed the image away from his mind; he had other shit to focus on.

He watched Steve's face and kissed his neck until he was pretty close; he started workin' him a little harder with his hand. Steve kept sighing; he wasn't talkin' as much as usual. He pressed lightly at a spot right under Steve's balls for a moment; Steve moaned kinda loud so Billy did it again. Steve's cock pulsed in his hand and Billy kept workin' him; he bit Steve's shoulder real hard when he came. Steve always made the best faces. Billy had started numbering them but he couldn't remember which this one was.

Steve shuddered and sighed. Billy smeared his come across his stomach. “Look at that, ya did it,” he said; Steve laughed. They laid there for a couple minutes. Fleetwood Mac was singing 'Go Your Own Way;' Billy couldn't believe the record hadn't ended.

After another moment Steve got up; there was an awkward minute as they got their clothes back on. Steve had a cute little ass. He tossed one of Billy's t-shirts at him and then climbed back on the bed and laid on him again.

Billy played around with Steve's amazing hair; it could stick straight up. “You feel better now?”

“I think so,” Steve said. He had hold of Billy's free hand and he kept turning it over and over. He yawned. “Mm. I like you,” he said.

Billy kept playing with the amazing hair. “Yeah, me too.”

Steve flopped over and crushed him; he buried his face against Billy's chest for a moment. Fleetwood was playing 'I'm So Afraid.' Steve picked his head up and squinted; he looked like he was in great pain. He said, “Okay, yeah, I, I can't do this anymore.”

Billy stared at him. “Uh. What?”

Steve sighed; he looked really sad. He said, “I'm so fucking hungry.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Billy rubbed his hand across his face. “Okay,” he said. He shoved Steve in the chest so's he'd get off him. “Okay, we can get up.”

Steve turned the record player off and they went out into the kitchen. Maxine was at the stove makin' three boxes of mac and cheese like a crazy person; she started when she saw them. “I didn't know you guys were still here.”

“Where'd Bev go?”

“She had to work, I walked her halfway because she was too looped up.”

“Oh my god, that's really great, Max,” Steve said like a den dad.

Max rolled her eyes and ignored him. She looked at Billy and narrowed her eyes. “Were you wearing a different shirt earlier?”

“What?” Billy said. He sat down at the table. “Can we have some of your mac and cheese?”

Max gave him the evil eye. “I guess, if you don't say any crap about how I make it!”

Maxine finished up at the stove; somehow Billy managed not to make any comments. They took their bowls out to the living room; Max got all jazzed up because there was some John Hughes marathon on the TV. They were all sittin' and watching _The Breakfast Club_ when Susan came in at quarter to nine.

Susan stared around at them; Billy tried to look as innocent as possible. “Oh, _my god,_ ” Susan said anyway. “Are you guys – no, you know what, I'm not even dealing with this.” She stalked off into the kitchen; Billy and Max exchanged a look. Susan gasped and stuck her head around the doorframe. “Honestly, Maxine? Three boxes?”

“What, Billy did it!” Max yapped and lied.

“No I didn't!” Billy said.

Susan sighed and disappeared back into the kitchen. She came back out a moment later and walked past them with the last of the noodles.

“MOM, I NEED THAT!” Max yelped at a level six; Susan ignored her.

“I'm not speaking to you,” Susan told her. “Billy, I am really disappointed in you. You could at least open a window!” She stalked off into her room.

Steve was making a great face; Billy tried not to laugh at it. “She knows you guys do this?”

“I think it's more theoretical,” Billy said.

“I only ever smoked with Billy before,” Max said throwing him under the bus; Billy smacked her.

“She took _one_  fuckin’ hit, one fuckin' time.”

Max laughed at him. “Billy got so high, he watched _Alice in Wonderland_ twice,” she told Steve.

Steve started laughing too. “What else did he do?”

Steve and Max talked and laughed at him. Really Billy hated them both.

 

 


	11. Chapter Ten (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan blinked. “I didn't know you knew Eleven,” he said slowly.
> 
> “Yeah, that's my girlfriend,” Billy said; Byers stared at him.
> 
> “He likes them really young, he's got like this problem,” Maxine said. She was so hilarious.
> 
> Byers stared some more. “Um, right.”
> 
> “Yeah, they're joking,” Sinclair told him patiently.

**Chapter Ten (part two)**

 

 _All through the night_  
_I'll be awake and I'll be with you_  
_All through the night_  
_This precious time when time is new_  
_Oh, all through the night to day_  
_Knowing that we feel the same without saying_  
_We have no past we won't reach back_  
_Keep with me forward all through the night_  
_And once we start the meter clicks_  
_And it goes running all through the night_  
_Until it ends there is no end_  
– 'All Through the Night,' Cyndi Lauper

 

**April 1987**

Billy's old man came home from his sales calls early; he was sitting on the couch drinking a beer when Max and Billy came in on Thursday night. Billy'd had a basketball game right after school and then they'd both been at work. Susan was in the kitchen doin' dishes like she usually was and she didn't pop her head out to say hi to them like she usually would.

Maxine scowled her head off at Neil watching the TV; she kicked her sneakers off into the hall closet. Billy's old man went on ignoring them so she followed Billy into his room.

“God, what's your dad doing home?” Max bitched her head off in two seconds. It was almost nine-thirty. “I just worked for five hours! I wanted to watch _A Different World!_ ”

She sounded like a forty-year-old mom; Billy managed not to make a comment. “Why you in here?” he asked her.

Maxine ignored him. She started going through his dresser in two seconds. “Maxine!” Billy said.

Max ignored him some more; she wrinkled her nose up at one of his t-shirts that had about four holes in it. “Why do you still have this? We need to go clothes-shopping for you,” she yapped. She informed him, “Your room still smells like pot, you know.”

Really his room smelled like more than just pot; Jesus God she didn't know the half of it. Billy collapsed on his bed before she could sit there. Apparently she was hangin' out with him or whatever. “Guess my dad ain't come through here yet.” They'd both be gettin' beat out in the living room; if he'd have come back yesterday they'd both be dead out in the living room. Billy really didn't want to think about that.

“Can you imagine if he came home yesterday?” Maxine yapped like his creepy twin; as usual she was bein' too damn loud.

“Yeah, think he'd've had a little bigger reaction than your moms.”

Max was shaking her head like he was the one who'd brought a quarter of dope home yesterday. “I guess we need to be more careful,” she said all serious; Billy rolled his eyes.

“What you mean _we_ , you little stoner?” he asked her. The burnt-out end of the joint from yesterday was still on his windowsill. He leaned over to open the window and flick it outside.

“What did you and Steve even do yesterday?”

“Uh,” Billy said. “Talked and stuff. Played a record.”

“I guess that's a _start,_ ” Max said; Billy made a face at her.

He felt like a sulky bitch; he was supposed to call Harrington tonight. He guessed that wasn't happening now with his old man camped out in the living room. God he wished he could move out right now or just take off in his car; he wondered where he’d go. He didn't feel like havin' to think about his dad when he could be thinking about Steve. He asked Max again, “What you doin' in here?”

Max ignored him; she'd found an old deck of cards in the bottom of his drawer. “Want to play war?”

“Ain't you got homework?”

“Don't insult me, I do that during first period,” Maxine told him. “Wanna play or not?”

Life in Hawkins was so exciting. “Yeah, I guess,” Billy said.

He and Max played war and then blackjack until past eleven (Maxine screamed her head off that he was a cheater; she was just terrible at cards) and then Billy kicked her out to go to bed.

Neil was still in the living room watchin' the news so Billy didn't go out there to use the phone; he hoped Harrington wouldn't be too PO'd at him for not calling. Anyway it wasn't like he hung out at home all the time waiting for Billy to call him or whatever. He opened up his window again and smoked a couple cigarettes while he finished up reading the last of _The Sound and the Fury_ for English class again; they had a big test next week.

He didn't oversleep for once the next morning. By some miracle no one was in the bathroom when he got up; Billy went and took a shower. When he got into the kitchen Neil and Max were around at the table sitting in silence reading the paper. Susan was fluttering away at the stove cookin' for everyone like she did.

“Did you win your game yesterday?” she asked him.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, that's great!” Susan said all enthusiastic. “How many people did you injure?”

Billy gave her a look. “Three.”

“And how many were on the opposite team?”

He thought about it. “Uh, two,” he said; Susan smiled at him. He moved around her to get a coffee mug down from the cabinet.

He cleared his throat. “Hey, pick your car up today, gotta get it by five if you want it for the weekend,” he told her; he wasn't talkin' too loud. They'd finished the Explorer on Tuesday and Hank'd said Sue could pay him off for the parts whenever she had the extra money.

“Yes, I know, I'm not working until tonight,” Susan told him. She said, “Thank you.” She gave him some toast so Billy poured her her coffee.

Susan gave him some eggs too; she made a big production out of showing him the frying pan. They wasn't even burnt. “See? Look at that, completely edible,” she said. Billy was gettin' a big kick out of her; it was that Friday feeling.

He went and sat at the table. “On your A-game, Susie-Q.”

“Only took her about thirty-seven years,” Max commented like a shitheel. Neil gave her a warning look; Maxine snapped her newspaper back up to her face. Had to remember the table was a no-fun zone when Billy's old man was home.

“I'm still thirty-six, thank you, Max,” Susan said. Jesus. Sometimes Billy forgot that she was still real young even though she looked it; she'd been a mom for too damn long. He guessed that was how his old man liked 'em.

Billy's dad was reading the sports page of the _Hawkins Press_ and Maxine had snagged the comics. Billy rifled through the rest of the paper and started looking through the personals section. They had apartment listings and houses for rent; he needed to get on that shit.

Like usual there wasn't anything too good. There were a couple of one-or-two-bedrooms down in the apartment complex across from where Hank lived and some more expensive shit out in Loch Nora; Billy didn't know if he could handle livin' across the street from Hank and he sure as shit wasn't goin' out to Loch Nora. Two-bedroom house on the corner of Redwood Lane – he definitely couldn't afford any kinda house even if Maxine gave him her grocery money.

The for-rent page had personal ads on it too. Billy read them for a while and amused himself. Some asshole with the headline 'Richard Gere Look-Alike' was looking for a robust woman in her forties to go on long walks with him in the hillside; Jesus God it was so embarrassing. Another ad proclaimed that there was a 'Han Solo out there looking for his Princess Leia' and that she should include a photo in her response. 'Race is not an issue, all aliens welcome.'

It was too good. “Hahahaha!” Billy said into his toast; he couldn't even decide if he wanted to show it to Harrington or to Henderson to make fun of them for forever. He drank his coffee happily.

Neil lowered his sports page and gave Billy a look. “Something funny?” he asked. It was the first time his dad had spoken to in almost two weeks since Billy'd shoved him.

Billy licked his bottom lip and thought about it. Somehow he stopped himself from being a total asshole and crowing out, 'Yeah, your face!' Six months ago he would have said it and gotten popped in the eye again; now he had somebody to look good for. On top of that he was pretty fuckin' tired of getting hit in the face all the damn time. A lot of people’d hit their kids in places where nobody could see it; Billy's dad liked to make him squirm, keep his head down in public.

Wasn't exactly standing up for himself but he had to start somewhere. “No sir,” he said with only a hint of sarcasm.

Neil looked at him some more and then turned back to his paper. Billy folded up the personals ad and slid it into his jeans pocket to look at later. Maxine was giving him a big weird look; she was probably expectin' him to be an asshole too. Billy downed the rest of his coffee and told her, “Come on, you're makin' me late. You got any candy?”

 

Max followed him to the car garage after basketball practice and hung out til late, killin' him until she had to go in to the general store. She watched Billy change out the tires on a rusty Catalina. There was a new Jeep that had came in all crushed up; Maxine creaked the door open and cranked the ignition.

“You see that shit?” Billy asked from where he was on the floor with the Pontiac. Half of the Jeep's front end was all caved in. “They wasn't even goin' that fast, told you the Wranglers ain't safe.”

“Oh my god, you sound like the guidance counselor at school talking about drinking and driving or something.”

Billy made a face at her; Christ she was a terrible bitch. Max bounced over to the door and played around with Hank's wrench set.

“Maxine! Quit touchin' shit!” Billy told her. He was waitin' for her to go; he wanted to meet Steve at seven.

Max ignored him. She was doing that a lot lately. Truly she hurt him – apparently he wasn't real scary anymore. She peered out the door into the front of the shop. “Mom's _still_ talking to Hank,” she informed him. “How has she been here so long?” She made a horrified face and watched them some more. “Oh my god, come look, are they flirting?”

Billy made a horrified face too. “Don't make me puke,” he told her.

“Mom just twirled her hair like a seventh-grader.”

“Shut the fuck up!” gasped Billy. He came over and peered out the door too; Hank was leaning on the counter yapping Susan's ear off and she was laughing at him. “Jesus Christ,” Billy said lowly. “Oh my fuckin' god, don't look at 'em.” Maxine laughed and hid her face against his arm for a second.

It was nearly five when Hank finished chatting up Susan and she left all happy with her car. She poked her head through the doorway into the garage to say bye; Max and Billy tried hard to look like they hadn't just been eavesdropping.

“Okay, I'm going to work,” she said. She waved her keys a little. “Thank you, Billy.”

Billy was back over by the Pontiac. “What, I did like two things.”

“What were you talking to Hank about for forty minutes, Mom?” Maxine asked like a gremlin.

“Why don't you tell me? You were right at the door,” Susan said placidly; Maxine made her fish face. “Aren't you going to be late for work?”

“I have twenty minutes!” Max yapped.

Susan 'hmm'ed and wandered on out of the shop; Max followed her up front with a calculating in her eyes. Billy finished screwin' with the tires and went up back up front too to get brake pads for the Catalina.

Hank was still sitting at the counter doin' his paperwork for the week; it was just past five now. He watched Max shuffle through a stack of magazines with a big grin on his face. “Your stepmom's a real cutie, Bill, I ain't seen her before,” he said. He looked up and roared with laughter at their faces. “Jesus Christ, calm your shit down, I'm not doin' nothing.” He was still laughing.

Maxine sat at the counter next to him. “Have you had any girlfriends since your wife died, Hank?” she asked all curious.

Hank was gettin' a kick out of her. “You wanna talk romance with me, kid?”

Holy hell Billy didn't want to hear about this shit. He took the brake pads and hurried back to the garage and left them to their gabbing.

Finally at a quarter-past Maxine popped her head back into the garage. She was buttoning up her ugly red vest. “I'm going to the store now, are you gonna be here all night again?”

Billy didn't answer for a couple seconds; she was gonna blow his cover. “Pro'lly.”

“I have to close up at ten with creepy Norman Bates, should I take my board home?”

Norman Bates was just Norman; he was the maintenance guy over at the general store. He was pretty fuckin' creepy. Billy sighed internally for a quarter-million years. She was majorly cutting into his private time with Harrington. “Can come get you if you want.”

“Okay, I want to get McDonald's.” Billy sighed externally; Max yapped: “What? I'll pay for you!”

“Did you get paid?”

Max ignored him. “See you later! Bye Hank!” Jesus. She zipped off.

Billy finished up with the Catalina; Hank closed up the front and came and leaned against the doorframe into the garage. “You stayin' late, kid? I didn't think you had too much to do. Woulda helped you.”

Really he didn't feel like lyin' to Hank. “I got a date,” he told him. Kinda. He had someone he wanted to see, at any rate.

“I ain't know you had a girlfriend, Bill!” Hank said in delight. “What, you don't want kid sis to know 'bout her?”

Okay he could lie a little. “It's kind of a new thing, she's real shy,” Billy said. Hahahaha. Harrington was gonna fuckin' murder him.

“All right, I hear you,” Hank said. “I know how kids talk, I won't say nothing.” He went over and inspected the Jeep; he looked like he was gearin' up to talk on and on. “Owner wants to scrap this fuckin' thing already, you wanna help me fix it up to sell?”

“Sure, I'll help you.”

“What you doin' once school ends, Bill, you gonna be around this summer?” Hank asked him.

“Yeah, I'll be here.”

“You gonna come work for me full-time? I been puttin' off hirin' someone, my neighbor wants me to take on his kid but I can tell already he's a lazy fuck.”

Truly Billy felt touched; he'd been putting off asking Hank for more hours. “Yeah, I'll come work for you.”

“Only thing is if you work forty hours I gotta put you on the books for real, my brother won't let that slide.”

“That's okay.”

“What you thinkin' about your old man? He gonna take your money?”

Billy was putting his tools away. “Probably would.” He thought about it; he guessed it would be okay to tell Hank one thing. “I was thinkin' I should, like I should move out soon, I wanna get a place for when I graduate.”

“Okay, I see that. What you gonna do about Little Red?” Hank asked; apparently everyone knew Maxine was Billy's damn responsibility.

“Her mom's okay and all,” Billy told him. He didn't want Hank to think Susan was for shit or anything.

“Yeah, she's real okay, I seen her.” Hank laughed again when Billy made a face.

“Figure maybe Max could hang out with me sometimes, I ain't really seen any two bedrooms or anything yet though.”

“Uh-yuh, you need your space.” Hank scratched his bald head. “Lemme think. Okay. You know that big plaza over on Church Street? Near that little park?”

“What about it?”

“They got like two or three apartments over on top of the store. I know the lady who owns 'em, don't think she advertises in the paper. She's Vietnamese but she's all right. You know, I always thought they was the prettiest, most people would say Jap. Can call her and see what she's got, s'kinda small but I think they got two or three bedrooms.”

Billy raised his eyebrows; he managed not to make a comment about the Vietnamese vs Japanese thing. Hank wasn't anything like his old man but he could say some shit too. “Yeah, you don't got to do all that.”

“Oh, it ain't no problem. I'll call her, see what she says. Give ya the number next week if you want.”

Billy thought about it. “Okay,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Might be good for you. You know, you gotta look around a little. I'll let you know if I see anything else. Definitely don't want to be in my apartment complex, they been overchargin' me since '82,” Hank told him. “Anyway you don't need me around killin' your mojo with the ladies.” HAHAHA, Billy said in his head; he didn't really need to worry about that. “We still got frickin' radiators in my place, you prob'ly remember. Hey, you gonna get a pet, Bill?”

“Uh, I dunno – ”

“You know the lady lives below me's got like three cats, you ain't even allowed to have dogs where I'm at? One time I was out in the courtyard and she comes up to me, right, I'm just reading the paper, she's got a fuckin' cat under each arm – “ Hank started talkin' his head off about the trials of bachelor life. Billy put his tools away.

Finally after about nine million years (it was past seven, at any rate) Hank let him alone and Billy was free to go see Harrington. He wasn't even sure he'd be home; they hadn't talked yesterday. He made sure the garage was in order and locked up as he left.

Steve was at home; he glared at Billy when he opened the door. He was still wearing his clothes from work. “I knew it was you,” he said like a cranky bitch; Billy's heart swelled. “I heard your car screeching all the way down the block, you need to slow the hell down. Are you coming in or what?”

Billy came in; Steve closed the door and skulked around by the stairs. He looked mordantly out into the living room and made a face. Billy watched him. “Uh. Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing, my mom's here,” Steve told him darkly.

“Yeah, I seen her car.”

Steve looked even more mordant. “We can go in my room I guess. She's really mad at me, she's been screaming at me for two days.”

“Why's she mad?” Billy followed him up the steps.

“Oh, why's she mad!” Steve said, rounding the banister. “You wanna know why she's mad? Uh, because you're a frickin' vampire!” He yanked his shirt collar to the side like a dramatic bitch; he had a huge hickey on the side of his neck.

Billy started grinning. “Oh shit, that's a nice one.” Steve smacked him hard in the chest. “OW!” Billy said on reflex. “S'that from me?”

“What do you think? You're a fucking monster, I got teased all day at work too,” Steve told him; he stalked into his room. Billy wandered in after him. He was still grinning. “My mom said I'm classless and shit, she asked who's been chompin' on me like a cow.”

Holy crap it was too good. “What you tell her?”

Steve made a face at him. “Uh, what do you think I told her? I just said it was, like, some girl, then she frickin' beat me around the living room for saying 'some girl,' she had about a million rings on too.” Billy started laughing. “It's not funny!”

“Kinda funny.”

Steve locked his door and sat down on the bed; he had his arms folded like a grumpy bitch. “No it's not, I don't do this shit to you.”

“Yeah you do,” Billy told him. Harrington'd been all proud of his handiwork a couple weeks ago.

“Okay, no, well, not where people can see it.”

“Locker room,” Billy pointed out; Steve made a face. “You been givin' me a reputation.”

“Whatever, just tell them you're hooking up with Angela Davis,” Steve said all cranky; Billy started laughing so Harrington slugged him again.

“Jesus, stop hittin' me!” Billy said. He caught Steve's fist and sat down beside him. “She don't even like me.”

“Every girl likes you, you're just too big of a bonehead to notice.”

Truly Billy felt insulted. “You jealous?” he asked sweetly; Steve scowled.

“ _No,_ I'm not fucking jealous,” he said. “Unlike _someone_ around here I know how to fuckin' process my emotions, I don't get pissed off about dumb shit in two seconds.”

“You seem pretty pissed off to me,” Billy said. “Are you gonna scream at me all night or what? I gotta get Assface at ten, she's workin' with that creepy janitor.”

Steve made a face. “He is pretty creepy,” he said. “Why do they keep hiring him back?”

“He's in the union,” Billy told him. He knew all the dirt at the general store now. “Do you wanna hook up or what?”

“I guess so,” Steve said like a sulky bitch; goddamn he was a piece of work tonight. He sat there glaring until Billy leaned in and kissed him. It was so easy to kiss him and it was so good; Billy didn't have to think about it anymore. He kissed him until he stopped glaring.

Steve pulled him a little closer. “You taste like a Lifesaver,” he muttered against Billy's mouth.

“Yeah? What kind?”

“Mm. Cherry.” Haha.

“Henderson gave 'em to me.”

“What, really?” Steve pulled back for a second; he rolled his eyes and looked majorly annoyed. “Oh my god, is he still doing that?”

“Doin' what?”

“Nothing, nevermind,” Harrington said real quick. He kissed Billy again. “You smell like motor oil,” he pointed out too; he was full of useful comments tonight.

Billy pulled away for a second. “Sorry. I was at work.”

Steve dragged him back. “Okay, I didn't say it was bad.”

They kissed for a couple minutes. Billy'd been waiting to see him; he always was. He wanted to see Harrington even if he was being a huge asshole over a stupid hickey on his neck. He liked being in Steve's room and on his bed; the mattress didn't squeak like at Billy's.

Steve went down on him again; Billy was too turned on to feel nervous. “Stop squirming everywhere!” Steve said; he pinned Billy down on the bed. He was way more confident than he'd been on Wednesday. Billy sat back up so Steve threw him down again.

Billy started laughing. “Shit, man. Have you been working out?”

“Uh, what?” Steve mumbled from between Billy's legs; he was a little distracted. “Oh my GOD, stop moaning, my mom's gonna think we're watching a porno or something.”

“That happen a lot here?”

Steve pulled back and glared up at him; Billy started laughing. “Jesus, are you really still fuckin' talking?” he demanded. “You are _so_ annoying, I should tie you up and gag you.”

Holy shit. “You wouldn't really do that,” Billy said happily.

“Yeah, keep trying me,” Steve said like a dramatic bitch; hell yeah that was Billy's dramatic bitch. He grinned and let Steve push him back against the headboard.

After they hooked up they laid around on the bed not really doing anything; Steve messed around with Billy's hair and watched him play Donkey Kong on his Nintendo. He still had all his clothes on like usual when he wasn't stoned; Billy was just in his boxers.

Steve traced a line on Billy's shoulder. His back had healed up pretty okay since he'd got thrown around in February but he had two big scars from the worst of the scrapes; they were pretty ugly. His old man loved to give him souvenirs. “That barrel's gonna hit you,” Steve said.

“What?” Billy said; he looked up at the screen and died. “SHIT!”

Steve laughed at him. “Oh my god, you're so bad at like every video game.”

“You're distractin' me,” Billy told him. Steve flopped over onto his back; Billy died again.

“Hmm,” Steve said like a shitheel into his shoulder.

Billy scowled. “You don't got to say anything.”

“What? This's way harder than the second one anyway.”

At quarter to ten Steve got up to get changed; Billy watched him stalk around in his little undershirt and bitch his head off trying on ten different shirts. Steve made a terrible face and looked at his neck. “I look like a fucking asshole.”

Billy thought he looked pretty good; he was enjoying the show. “You look okay,” he said. Steve glared at him in his mirror. Billy got up and stood behind him at his dresser; he put his head on Steve's shoulder. He thought they looked pretty good even though Steve was making one of his mad squinty faces. He started grinning.

“Get the hell away from me,” Steve said like he hadn't just been sighing and moaning and grabbing at him twenty minutes ago when Billy'd been jerking him off. Steve leaned back against him for a second. God he was so grumpy tonight; Billy was into it.

“Could wear a scarf.” Billy put his arms around him.

Steve scowled even more. “It's fucking springtime, asshole.”

“Wear a bandana.”

Steve hit him with his hair brush. “Oh my god, I bet you'd love that!”

“Hm.” Billy reached up and pulled his hair away from his neck. “Should give you one on the other side to match.”

“No, leave me alone,” Steve said. He pushed Billy away; he wasn't pushing too hard. “Can you get dressed?”

“I guess.”

“Do you want to get food or something? We can take Max to a movie.”

“If you want.”

They evaded Steve's mom going downstairs and then Harrington bitched his head off the whole way to Main Street too; he didn't know how he was gonna keep Henderson at bay for much longer. If Dustin ever found out about them the whole town would know in two seconds; Billy didn't feel like thinkin' about that.

“Just tell 'im you hooked up with someone at your work or whatever,” Billy said.

“Why, so Max can fucking murder me?” Billy laughed at him. “You’ll just make fun of me if I do that.”

“No I won’t,” lied Billy; Harrington gave him a look. “Okay, I’ll make fun of you three times.” _Per day_ , he added in his head.

When they got to the general store creepy Norman was standing out front like usual; Billy beeped the horn twice so's Max would know to come out. She slumped through the door a couple seconds later dragging her feet. Steve took one look at her and said, “Oh Jesus” and climbed into the back.

Max got into the car scowling. “WHERE'S MY MCDONALD'S?” she asked and slugged Billy's shoulder; she about knocked his damn cigarette out of his mouth. Billy felt true slight terror.

“Jesus Christ, we're goin' now.”

Maxine laid her head against the window and sighed like a dramatic bitch. “My feet hurt soooo bad,” she moaned. “I need to get new sneakers this weekend. Will you take me to the mall?”

“Did you get paid?” Steve asked her. Maxine ignored him, probably because she owed Billy about a thousand dollars.

“You know Ryan Pearson came in and annoyed the shit out of me for two hours, he and Bev are fighting _again!_ ” she went off. “He messed up Joyce's Easter display! A little kid puked in the candy aisle, and some gross guy asked me if I was eighteen yet!”

“What guy?” Billy said; Maxine sighed like he was killin' her.

“Are customers always this stupid?” she asked him. Billy'd worked at a grocery store for a couple months when he'd been fifteen before he'd started at the autobody shop; Max and Tracey'd used to come in and talk to him while he stocked shelves.

“Yeah, they get worse.”

Max sighed again like a dramatic bitch. She looked all world-weary and shit; Billy was gettin' a kick out of her. “God, I don't even know if I can do this. This has been, like, the worst Friday night ever.”

“Spring break’s next weekend,” Billy reminded her.

“Who cares about that? I’ll just be wasting away marking down decorations.”

Steve leaned forward in the backseat. “Okay, Max, it's really not that bad.”

Billy was smoking his cigarette. He saw Maxine's eyes flash and felt the true slight terror again; Harrington had about ten seconds left to live. He blew some smoke out of his nose. “Mmmmm,” he muttered urgently. “Mmm. Mm-mm.”

Steve ignored him because he had no regard for his life. “I mean, it's only your second week of work, I think you should at least give it a – “

Max whipped around and smacked him atop the head, _hard_. “OW, JESUS!” yelled Steve.

“Oh, sorry, EXCUSE ME?” Maxine went off at a steady level eight; Billy smoked his cigarette. “Sorry, Steve, HOW MANY jobs did YOU have when you were fifteen?” She hit him again.

“Oh my god, okay – “

“Oh, that's right, NONE, because you're a rich douchebag!” Max yelled. “Some of us don't have parents that buy us everything, some of us have to actually work for shit!” She waved her fist again.

“Bill, she's hitting me!” cried Steve like a kid.

Billy put the car in drive; he was stayin' out of this one.

Maxine looked like a fucking demon. “You stupid baby, your boyfriend can't protect you!” Billy didn't feel the need to point out that Harrington wasn't his boyfriend.

Steve caught Max's fist and made a great face at her. They struggled for a couple seconds. “Okay, shithead, you're – OW – _you're_ fuckin' stupid, why would a baby even have a boyfriend?”

“Why are you even _here?_ ” Maxine demanded; she was down to a level six. “And why are you wearing a stupid _turtleneck_ , you look like Andy Warhol!” Billy started cracking up. “Let go of my arm!” She twisted around and hit him again with her other hand.

“Dude, that is SO screwed up, HE JUST DIED!”

“Well that’s who you look like!”

“MAX! Put your goddamn seatbelt on!” Billy said; Max slugged him too without turning around. Steve smacked at her so Max hit him again.

“BILLY!” Max screamed her fucking head off. “STEVE’S HITTING ME!”

“Oh my FUCKING GOD, you are SO MEAN,” Steve told her. He dropped her arm. “I was going to fucking buy you dinner, you brat!”

Maxine had the good graces to look slightly abashed. “You still look like a douchebag,” she told him. Steve made a terrible face at her.

“Why you hittin’ my sister, douchebag?” Billy asked him.

“I fucking hate you guys,” Steve said. He still bought them McDonald's, though.

 

* * *

 

 Even with his old man back around the house bugging the shit out of everyone, it was way easier to see Harrington and to hook with him now that Maxine was off at work half the time. They had a pretty good weekend together; Henderson only came over and interrupted them once. Billy got home late on Sunday night and Max tore the shit out of him; he'd forgotten he'd said he'd take her to get her stupid sneakers.

He ended up takin' her and Beverly to the mall out in Eastgate after basketball practice on Monday. It was mostly out of guilt for ditching her all weekend and she and Bev annoyed the holy shit out of him talking and looking at shoes for two hours. Billy didn't know how girls could look at fuckin' clothes for so long.

“I don't know how _you_ can stand in front of your mirror doing your hair for so long,” Maxine retorted like a shithead. Billy rolled his eyes and stalked off to the food court to wait for them.

Tuesday he had his big English test. He didn't really care about it; he didn't need to worry about failin' like it was math or somethin'. Usually he either did real good on tests or he didn't. He spent most of his study hall chatting up Angela Davis and helpin' her with her flashcards; they both had O'Hearn for English but different periods.

Angela laughed at him a lot; goddamn she was gonna give him so much weed. Billy got so jazzed up thinking about it that he was accidentally nice to Henderson. Dustin gave him a Snickers bar.

After school he had to go into work early and stay late; Hank'd actually decided to finally make himself a doctor's appointment for his fuckin' back so Billy said he'd watch the front. Wednesday he left work early and he finally got to go to Steve's house again.

He went over around six; Steve's parents weren't at home like usual and they watched TV in the den for a while. The den was a good place for them. It was off to the side of the house and the window was right by the driveway so they'd know if someone was comin' home. Steve was reading over some paperwork that one of the girls at his job had given him to look at and he was in some kinda mood over it; he was barely talking.

Billy figured that really he should be grateful on account of Harrington was rarely ever barely talking. Steve was letting him watch Scooby Doo on the TV; Billy turned the volume up. He stretched out on the couch. He bounced the remote against his knee. He looked at Steve; his hair was real crazy today. He looked back at the TV. He bounced the remote some more. He put his feet on the coffee table; his boots made a loud sound.

Steve turned a page in his report and sighed heavily through his nose. “Oh my god, do you know how to sit still for five minutes?”

Billy stared at him. Steve kept looking at his paper. Billy bounced the remote on his knee again. Steve's eye twitched like a cartoon.

Billy took his feet off the coffee table and sat up a little. “Am I botherin' you?” he asked loudly.

“Yeah, you always bother me,” Steve said like a cranky bitch; he was still reading the report. “Jesus, you're so fucking much all the time, can you leave me alone for two seconds?”

Billy stared at him some more; Steve didn't look up from his papers. “I am leavin' you alone,” Billy said. He wondered if Harrington was already gettin' sick of him like Billy'd figured he would.

He leaned back against the couch in a big sulk and tried his hardest to stop bouncing the remote; he was tryin' real hard. He clenched his jaw a coupla times. God even now the desire to punch Harrington was still so strong! Finally: “Sorry,” he forced out.

Steve twisted his mouth up and kept reading his paper for a couple seconds. Then he sighed and put it down.

He turned and stared at Billy. He was still in his work clothes and he had the big bruise-grey circles under his eyes again; Billy hadn't really noticed them before and he felt bad even though he hadn't slugged him like he'd wanted to a second ago. Steve said, “No, I – you know what, sorry, I didn't mean that. I really didn't mean that. I just, I just have to read this shit, I don't feel like doing it but I said I would.”

Jesus Harrington was a fucking sweetheart and he was too soft; he'd do about anything for anyone if it'd get them to like him. Billy watched him rub his face. “Can go home if you want,” he said.

“No, I don't want you to go. Uh, I don't – mean to be boring or whatever – “

Goddamn he was too much; there wasn't anywhere else Billy really wanted to be. “You're not fucking boring,” Billy told him.

“I won't take much longer, just gimme a couple minutes.”

“Okay.”

“Do you need something to eat or anything?”

“Nah, I'm good.” Billy kept watching the TV. Then he watched Steve for a while. Steve was barefoot and he was wearing a green button-down shirt and the amazing glasses. He looked annoyed as shit still; Billy was so into him even though he was being a grumpy bitch right now. Jeez probably moreso because of it.

Steve rubbed at his eye under the amazing glasses. “This doesn't even – make any fuckin' sense, I feel like she just puts as many words into a sentence as she possibly can, can you stop fuckin' looking at me?”

“I like lookin' at you,” Billy said; Steve rolled his eyes. “What's wrong, you ain't sleeping or something?”

“I – no, I'm fine.”

 _Yeah you are_ , Billy managed not to say. “You get one of those headaches again?”

“What?” Steve sounded distracted; he was frowning at his papers. “No, I'm fine,” he said again; he rubbed at his eyebrow which was another thing that meant he was lying.

Billy rolled his eyes. Harrington thought he was so slick; Billy had no clue why he thought that. “There's this thing called aspirin, you take it when somethin' on your body hurts, asshole.”

“Oh, my g – thanks, Bill, weird thing, I know what aspirin is,” Harrington told him like a difficult bitch. Hell yeah that was Billy's difficult bitch; Billy smiled at him. “It's not going to help anyway unless I take like eight of 'em, it's just from my eyes. I got an appointment on Friday to get new glasses, maybe you can pick out my frames for me.”

Billy stared at him. “Do you mean that?” he asked.

Steve looked at him and laughed like Billy was being funny. “Shut the hell up.”

“What?” Billy said. He felt okay. At least Harrington was laughing. He leaned in; Steve stopped him about two inches in and put his whole hand on Billy's face and pushed him away, not too hard.

“No, don't start, I'm serious,” Steve said. “Leave me alone, I'm so gross right now, I ate fuckin' onion rings earlier.”

“I like onion rings,” Billy told him.

Steve laughed. “Shut up,” he said again. Truly Harrington was abusive; it'd been more than a month now so Billy was used to it.

“There's like about two ways to get me to shut up.”

“Yeah, I definitely know that.”

Billy leaned in again and Steve pushed him away again. “Come on, man, ain't you miss me?”

“Oh my god, you frickin' dork,” Steve said; he was laughing again.

“Stevie,” Billy said. He was turning on the charm. “I ain't seen you since Sunday.” He stared at Harrington until he looked back at him. “Missed you,” he said real sweet; he meant it though.

Steve huffed out a laugh; he was so easy. “I – yeah, I missed you too, okay?”

“I was thinkin' 'bout you,” Billy told him; he was leaning in again. “Come on, why you being a bitch? Lemme get it.”

“Jesus, you're such a – ” Steve let him lean in and kiss him; he really did kinda taste like onion rings.

Billy didn't mind. He pressed Steve down against the arm of the couch – Steve bitched his head off until Billy let him up to put his papers back on the coffee table – and kissed him for a while. He kissed him and ran his hand up and down Steve's side until he was sighing and making his little sounds in Billy's mouth.

Shit he was so good; they weren't even really doing anything yet. Billy kissed him some more and somehow got his tie off. He started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Hey, what are you doing,” Steve said; he was laughing at him again. “No, get off me. It's still fuckin' daylight, it is way too light in here for me to take my shirt off.”

“What, you wanna stop?” Billy asked him. “You want me to stop?”

Steve was touching Billy's back through his t-shirt. “Uh, no, I – ”

“Okay then.” Billy kept on unbuttoning.

“Bill, I just – “

“Wanna see you.” Billy kissed him some more. Steve put his hand in his hair; he let Billy undo his shirt the rest of the way and pull it off. He started to take his glasses off. “No no, leave 'em on.”

“Oh my god, you're such a freak,” Steve told him. He pulled Billy down on top of him and bit his bottom lip hard; Billy growled and ground his hips against his. “Ah, god.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm,” Steve breathed out; Billy grinned against his mouth.

Something about the way Harrington sounded and the way he was acting made Billy go real slow. They kissed for a while longer and Billy made himself go real slow. They'd been doing this for more than a month now; he didn't know if he should still be gettin' so dizzy every time they touched or whatever.

Steve pulled at Billy's t-shirt until he drug it up over his back. They struggled with it for a moment and then Billy threw it to the floor.

He pressed his mouth against the side of Steve's neck and over his big adam's apple. Steve laughed and tangled his hand in Billy's hair; he let Billy kiss him. Billy could feel him breathing in and out beneath him, could feel the thrum of his heart pounding. Steve had more hair on his chest than Billy did and he had more beauty marks than Billy'd thought. Was weird when he thought about it; they'd been hookin' up for a while and it was only the second or third time Billy'd ever got him with his shirt off for more than a minute. He trailed his lips over one collarbone and then scraped his teeth over Steve's nipple. Steve shuddered and made a sound so Billy did it again.

“Fuck,” Steve said faintly. Billy leaned up and kissed him on the mouth; his tongue was making Billy dizzy like usual. He ran his hands up Billy's back. “God, you look so good,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, you too,” Billy said. Steve laughed like he was being funny again. Apparently Billy was real funny; he let Steve laugh at him. He worked his way back down Steve's chest and kissed and bit and licked at his nipples until Steve was making all kinds of sounds and was thrusting up against him in a kind of helpless way. Billy put a hand on Steve's hip to hold him down and kept biting his chest. He started undoing his belt.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said; he was so hard. “Bill, you don't have to do that – “

“Wanna see you,” Billy said again.

“I, uh – “

“Don't want me?”

“Heh,” said Steve like a little dork. “No, yeah, I do, I – “

“So stop talkin,'” Billy begged him. He got the belt undone and opened up Steve's fly. “Give ya something to put in your mouth in a couple minutes.”

“You're really annoying.” Steve shifted on the couch a little and helped him take off his pants and underwear. Billy stretched out over the couch and flopped down against Harrington's legs, trapping him. Steve's cock was flushed all red and leaking all against his stomach; Billy's mouth actually fucking watered looking at it. He had a serious problem.

Billy played around with him for a couple minutes; he had fun watching Steve's cock twitch and jump. He laughed real hard when he batted at it and it hit him in the face twice. He wrapped his hand around him and squeezed; Steve squirmed which made him laugh some more.

He held Steve's prick against his stomach; Jesus it practically touched his belly button. “Shit,” Billy said. “Love your big cock, man,” he said without really meaning to. Was like he was in a porno or something.

Steve laughed at him in a flustered way which Billy didn't think was necessary. At least he hadn't said it was pretty or some shit. “Yeah, thanks, your little guy is so cute though,” he said.

Billy smacked Steve’s dick against his stomach. “You really wanna be makin' comments to me right now?” he asked; Steve laughed again.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “So what are you, uh, what are you doing down there, you got a game plan or you just gonna play around with me all day?”

“I like playin' around with you,” Billy told him.

“Okay, well I just – _ahhgod_ – “ he said when Billy put his mouth on him. Haha! He was fun. Billy grabbed at his hips and worked him for a couple minutes; Steve groaned when Billy took the length of him down his throat. “ _Shit,_ that's so good, how do you – ?” He put his hand in Billy's hair and groaned.

Billy pulled off of his dick for a second. “Do not fucking choke me, Harrington, I'm being so goddamn nice to you right now,” he warned.

“Oh my god, I'm not!” Steve said. He took his hand out of Billy's hair and rubbed his eyes. “Jesus, I can't even look at you.”

Billy had half of Steve's amazing dick down his throat again. He pulled up a little and flattened his tongue over the head of it; Steve groaned again. “What, 'm too fuckin' ugly?” he mumbled around Steve's dick.

“No, I'm gonna come on your face in two seconds, asshole.”

Hahaha shit; Harrington could make him hard in two seconds. “Fuckin' sweet talker, you're such a goddamn romantic,” Billy told him.

Steve laughed and shifted his hips; Billy glared at him and pinned him down. “Oh, what do you want me to do, you want flowers or something?”

“Yeah, I like lilies,” Billy told him. Steve stared.

“Seriously?”

“Hmm?” Billy said. He had Steve's cock in his mouth again; he knew what to do with it. After another couple seconds Steve got too worked up to talk. Billy felt kinda crazy hearing his little moans and sighs; he could get drunk off listen' to him. Steve made a sound low in his throat when he came and clutched Billy's hair too tight like usual.

Billy swallowed and slid off his dick; he liked the taste of him. Steve could come twice and still be fuckin' hard. It was goddamn incredible. Sometimes he needed a couple minutes after or in between though.

Steve combed his hand through Billy's hair. Billy watched his chest heave up and down. Steve was just looking at him. He looked kinda dazed; it was so great.

Anyway Billy wasn't done with him. He was having way too much fun. He licked his way down one hip and bit at where the curve of Steve's leg met his pelvic bone. Steve twitched and laughed. “God, okay,” he said. Billy ignored him; he had stuff to do.

He ran his hands over Steve's hips and held him down some more. He found his favorite freckle and scraped his teeth over it. Harrington had a couple of stretch marks on his inner thighs, white faded lines. Billy'd noticed them before and it didn't really make any sense; Steve was too skinny to stretch out. Either way was about the cutest shit Billy'd ever seen in his life. He spent a while licking and biting them before he moved over to the opposite leg. He bit his way up to that hipbone too.

Steve was tugging at his hair and laughing at him. “Are you done, can you come up here?” he asked; Billy gave him a dirty look. He shifted forward a couple inches and stuck his tongue in Steve's belly button. “AHH!” said Steve like a little dork and jumped; Billy started laughing. “Okay, yeah, keep coming.”

“Hmm?” Billy said. He started trailing his mouth lower. Harrington definitely didn't have a belly or nothin' but his stomach was real soft too; Billy was very into it.

Steve pulled his hair again. Really Billy was gonna shave his goddamn head; he couldn't take the abuse. “No, no, wrong way, c'mere.”

Billy laid his head on Steve's stomach for a couple seconds and glared. Harrington was spoiling all his fun. He wriggled up and then flopped against Steve's chest with his full weight.

“Ack, you're crushing me,” Steve said like a dramatic bitch; Billy ignored him some more. He kissed his way back up Steve's chest and found his three most favorite freckles on the side of his neck; was like Orion's Belt or something. He bit at Orion's Belt. “AHH!” Steve said again. “Bill, don't mark me up again.”

“I'm not,” Billy said like a sulky bitch. He ran his tongue over the first two freckles. “Have you been workin' out?” he asked him.

“Shut up,” Steve told him in two seconds; he was such a prick.

“What, I'm serious.”

Steve wriggled around underneath him. “I was, okay, I started going to the gym again on the nights you work late, are you gonna make fun of me?” he asked.

“Why you always think I'm makin' fun of you?”

“Well, weird, you usually are,” Steve told him; that wasn't the point.

“You look good,” Billy said. Steve laughed and shifted away.

“Okay, you don't, uh, have to do that shit.”

“I'm not doin' nothing,” Billy told him.

Steve huffed out another laugh. Billy didn't know why Harrington kept actin' like was was so funny; really he should be being fuckin' nice to him. “Look, okay, I know I don't look like you or whatever – ”

“Yeah, I know that,” Billy said. He didn't really know what Harrington was talking on about and he didn't really care; he had other things to focus on right now. He ran his tongue down the length of Steve's collarbone.

Steve kept talking and hurting him. Hell he'd never stop, Billy figured. He put his hand back in Billy's hair again. “I mean, _you_ look, you look really good, you look great. I've got, you know, I've got all this to work with – “

Harrington was a crazy person; Billy'd always known. He pulled back to look at Steve. “What are you talking about? You look fine, man.”

“Sure, I mean, I'm okay – “

“I like everything 'bout the way you look,” Billy told him. Steve made a face so he said, “Why'd I wanna go out with someone that looks like me?” He felt real stupid in two seconds; he waited for Harrington to start makin' fun of him too.

Steve didn't make fun of him. He didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. He wound his other arm up around Billy's back and started playing around with the chain on his neck; it'd gotten all twisted around. He played around with Billy's St. Christopher's medal. Neither of them spoke; Billy started kissing his neck some more.

Steve dropped the chain and tangled his fingers in Billy's hair again. After a couple more seconds he said in a weird voice, “Uh, so – do you, like, do you maybe wanna go out with me on Sunday night?”

Billy felt weird too; he stopped kissing Steve's neck. They usually went out on Sunday nights anyway, Friday and Saturday too. Couldn't really even think of the last weekend he'd spent without Harrington.

Even so he was pretty sure that wasn't what Steve had meant. He didn't say anything for a couple seconds. Steve said, “Just, uh – I gotta work again on Saturday, probably late, so. But Sunday, we could go into the city or out to, out to Eastgate or something, I could take you to Indianapolis if you want or, or you know, whatever you want.”

Billy still didn't say anything. Finally he said, “What, you mean like a date or somethin'?”

“Yeah, I mean, if you, if you want,” Steve said still in the weird voice.

Billy thought about it; he laid his head down against the crook of Steve's neck. He had no clue what to say. A fuckin' date, how could they do that. He couldn't really mean it.

He thought about it some more; he looked at the freckles on Steve's neck. He looked at them for so long that Steve said, “Uh, I mean, you don't – “

“Thought I annoyed you all the time.”

“Okay, I didn't, I didn't really mean that,” Steve said. “You know what, we don't have to, I just thought, uh – “

“Okay,” Billy said; Steve went totally still.

“What, really?” he said after a pause.

Billy chewed on his lip some more. He was deciding. He kind of felt like he was going to throw up; there was a part of him that was sure Harrington had to be fucking with him. “Yeah, we can go out,” he said anyway.

“OKAY!” said Steve real loud. He didn't really sound like he was fuckin' with him; actually he sounded so happy that it made Billy want to puke a lot less. “Okay, we can go, yeah, we can go wherever you wanna go. Uh, we can figure it out later. We can go out to eat or whatever too if you want.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Take you to see that Keanu movie, I know how much you like him and all.”

Billy blinked twice. “'Scuse me?” he said; Steve started laughing real hard.

“Yeah, I uh, I heard you and Max talking in the car before.”

“Oh, my fuckin' god,” Billy said. He bit Steve's neck again; Steve jumped a little and kept laughing. “You total asshole, you're a fucking faker – “

“Stop biting me, you fucking horror movie!” Steve told him; Billy smiled at him real nice. “I didn't, I really was asleep for most of it, I had no clue what you guys were talkin' about.”

“Oh, what, you use your context clues?”

“Yeah, do you have a type, Bill?” Steve said; he was teasing him so Billy pinned him down and bit him again. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” said Steve. “You know, some people say that I look like Tom Cruise, I heard you like him too.”

Jesus Christ. “You look way better than that asshole,” Billy told him.

Steve laughed some more. “Whatever.” He started playing around with Billy's necklace again. “So … what do you wanna do?” he asked him.

“What, like now?”

“Yeah, like now, shithead.” God he was too romantic; Billy couldn't handle it.

“What 'bout your paper?”

“Eh, I can read it later.”

Billy thought about it; he was pretty comfortable where he was. Even so: “Can you make me somethin' to eat?” he asked.

“Uh, really? That's what you want?” Steve sounded all incredulous.

Billy rolled his eyes; Jesus Harrington thought he was just some horny fuck that came over to get sucked off or something. Okay he was a horny fuck but he also needed food and sometimes cartoons; it was nice when Steve held his hand too or whatever. He was a multi-faceted fuck.

He didn't say all that though. “You asked me earlier if I was hungry.”

Steve laughed at him. “Okay. Okay, yeah, I did.”

“Ain't we got time?”

“Yep, what do you want?” He still sounded like Billy was amusing him.

“Mm, I want that garlic bread you made for me 'n Max before,” Billy told him. “Can you not make the stove go on fire again?“

“All right, IT WASN'T ON FIRE,” Steve said; they'd discussed this before. Billy smiled at him again. “Am I allowed to fuckin' get dressed?”

Hahahahaha. “Nah, I don't think so,” Billy said; Steve shoved at him until he sat up. He put his pants back on anyway; he was still spoiling all of Billy's fun. Billy picked his shirt up and followed him into the kitchen. Steve made him dinner; it was pretty good. They had a date for Sunday Billy guessed. He didn't even throw up or nothing.

 

* * *

 

The days went on too slow and too fast. Billy was looking forward to the weekend; he was kind of dreading it too. He didn't know what he was doing; he wasn't thinking about it.

Friday was basketball practice after school like usual and it was a big joke; it was Easter break and they wouldn’t be back at school for ten days. They had four more games left in the season; Monday was a home game against Eastgate and no one was really worried about it aside from the coach.

Billy was gettin' changed in the locker room when one of the assholes from the team came up to him. After three months of playing with him Billy knew his name was either Brian or Brendan.

“Holy shit, man, who's been markin' you up?” Brian-or-Brendan asked.

Harrington had done a fucking number on him before he'd left on Wednesday. Steve was always biting his nails and shit; they were real sharp. Billy tried not to grin. “Uh, I don't kiss and tell,” he said.

“You've been holding out on us,” Brian-or-Brendan said like a fuckin’ loser. “Are you really going around with Angela Davis now? I saw you talking to her earlier.”

Jesus Christ you sit with a girl in study hall twice a week and the whole school thinks you're fucking. Billy knew the way the guys here talked about girls; was the same way he'd used to talk about them. “I got a class with her.”

“I really wouldn't waste any time on her, Alex went out with her a couple times over winter break and he said she wouldn't put out.”

Billy didn't know who Alex was. “Okay, I'll remember that.”

“Made him sit on the couch and help her babysit her eighty brothers and sisters, you know her mom's been married like four or five times, she's like the town slut and all.”

Billy put his t-shirt on and didn’t answer; for some reason he got real pissed off in about four seconds. He didn't think talkin' shit about people's parents was something you needed to do, not that he was the morality police or whatever.

He stared at Brian-or-Brendan and thought about it. Really he didn't need to be starting a fight and getting himself kicked off the team with just a month left in the season. It'd be real fun to do it though. If it was Billy's mom the kid was talkin' about he'd already be on the floor.

“Angie's all right, we're just friends though,” he said. He guessed they were. Be even better friends after she got him some dope.

Brian-or-Brendan clapped him on the back; Billy nearly punched him in the face anyway. Why’d people always think they could fuckin’ touch you. “If you say so, man.”

Out in the gym they ran laps and started drills. Billy had Max and Bev on the bleachers for him. It was a Friday so he feared the worst – Bev was havin’ some party because her moms was out for the weekend and they’d been trying to get him to go all week.

Practice had only been goin' on for about ten or fifteen minutes when the door to the gym creaked open and Sinclair burst in all crazy and looked around. Billy lobbed the ball back to Brian-or-Brendan and watched Lucas scurry up the bleachers and grab Maxine's arm. Was pretty fuckin' bold for Sinclair – he and Maxine still weren't really hanging out at school or whatever.

He watched Lucas yap away in Max's ear. Her little bug eyes about popped out of her head and her jaw dropped; she looked like a fuckin' cartoon. “SHUT UP!” she yelped; one of the guys down on the court missed the basket he was throwing. Max made an even bigger face. “Are you serious? WILL?”

Sinclair hissed in her ear some more; Max grabbed her backpack and slid off the bleachers. She gave Billy a big look and tilted her head as she and Lucas slunk out the door. Billy looked over at Bev; she shrugged and kept writing in her notebook.

The coach was glaring at him. “Hargrove, you lost in your thoughts or what?”

“No, I'm good.” Billy bounced the basketball twice. He thought about it: if something had happened to Byers he wanted to know about it. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Haha. He threw the ball hard in Brian-or-Brendan's face (“WHAT THE HELL, MAN!” said Brian-or-Brendan) and started off across the gym.

Coach blew the whistle at him. “THE FUCK, HARGROVE!”

“What, I'll be right back,” Billy said.

He left the gym; Sinclair and Max were halfway down the hallway already. “Hey, shitheads!” They stopped and waited for him. “The hell's going on?”

“Will got in a huge fight, he's in the principal's office getting reamed,” Sinclair told him. “Are you coming with us or what?”

Okay. Billy started walkin' with them. “What you mean he got in a fight?”

“I caught the end of it, it was those same assholes that always mess with him,” Sinclair said. “They were already getting dragged apart by the time I got back from the AV room, Will is _so dead_ now.”

They rounded the corner into the freshman hallway; there was a lot of blood on the ground near Byers' locker. The janitor was already wheeling over with his mop and bucket.

Billy stared at the blood as they walked by; it made him feel weird. “He okay?” he said.

Lucas looked massively annoyed. “Yeah, that's not his blood,” he said all dismissive.

Billy stared; Maxine started cackling in glee. “What?” Billy said.

“Uh, he punched Justin Gilmore in the face, he _probably_ broke his damn hand doing it,” Lucas said.

“HAHAHAHA!” Billy said in a great joy. “ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?”

Billy's English teacher was walking by with a big stack of textbooks; she nearly dropped them all over the goddamn ground. “Billy Hargrove!” she gasped.”Watch your language! I expect better from you!”

“Sorry,” Billy said; he could feel his GPA dropping. He turned back to Sinclair. “ARE YOU FUCKIN' SERIOUS?”

“Oh, my word,” said Miss O'Hearn from behind them.

“Yes I'm serious, don't get all retarded!” Sinclair snapped. He looked mad as hell for some reason in his dorky polo shirt. “This is _your_ fault, you _asshole_ , he's probably going to get EXPELLED now!”

Damn he'd really thought Sinclair'd been warming up to him lately. Billy wondered why all the kids thought they could just fuckin' go at him. “All right, how the fuck's it my fault?”

“You're the one making him all _confident_ and crap, he's going to get grounded for a million years! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE STAR WARS EXPO!” Sinclair lamented his life.

Maxine started laughing at him. “You're such a turd,” she said; Sinclair scowled.

“He ain't gonna get grounded for sticking up for himself,” Billy said. Joyce'd probably be happy that the kid was finally growin' his fairy wings. Okay maybe not. “You want him to get pounded on for the rest of his life?”

“It's just going to be worse for him now,” Sinclair said all dramatic; he was such a fuckin' curmudgeon. They'd reached the principal's office now and all three of them peered into the door.

“How’s that?”

“Justin's _really_ popular,” Maxine explained to Billy.

“What? That faggot?” Billy said; Max rolled her eyes. “What they doin' in there, his mom coming here?” Billy asked.

“How should I know?” Sinclair snapped at him.

“I wasn't askin' you, dickbag.”

Sinclair ignored him; he threw his arms up all crazy. “This is _so bad_ , you know technically we have a no-tolerance policy towards violence here, I don't know if _you two_ creeps have heard of such a thing out in Disneyland where you're from – “

“Really? That's, like, the only thing from California you can think of to mention?” Max said dryly.

Lucas ignored her too; he was still tearin' into Billy. “Of course somehow _your_ pasty white ass can just throw kids all around the freakin' hallway whenever you feel like – “

“Cool your shit down, Midnight, it’s gonna burn ya,” Billy told him; Maxine kicked him in the ankle. “OW, WHAT?”

“Can you both just _stop talking?_ ” Max was pressed up against the door like she could listen through it.

“Uh, no, because your brother's a piece of – “ Sinclair started; Max kicked him too. “OH, MY GOD, MAX, ARE YOU SERIOUS!”

“SHUT UP! STOP ARGUING!” Max roared at a level seven; Billy and Sinclair both stepped back.

“Fine,” they said together in a big sulk, then glared at each other.

Billy and Sinclair sat down across the hallway from each other and made faces; Max kept peering through the doorway until the secretary stomped out and hollered at her. Max ignored her yelling. “Is Will Byers still in there?”

“He's being reprimanded,” Mrs. Graves said all ominous; Sinclair put his head in his hands like a dramatic bitch. Billy scoffed at him so Sinclair flipped him off with fervor.

Finally after about a million years the office door opened again; Will came out with his creepy brother followin' after him. Jonathan had his hand on the kid's shoulder like an angel of death and they both looked surprised as hell to see Max and Billy and Sinclair sittin' around waiting for them.

“Uh, hey guys,” Jonathan said. Everyone ignored him.

“Will! Are you okay?” Maxine threw her arms around the kid.

Will was lookin' at Billy; he nearly toppled over with Max clinging to him. Half his face was bruised up and his left eye was already swelling shut. “What are you doing here?” he asked. Jonathan looked at him too.

Billy remembered he was still in his gym shorts and his Hawkins High t-shirt that had about a million holes in it. He probably looked like a total asshole. “You really get in a fight?”

“Yeah, I punched Justin Gilmore like you told me to,” Will told him like Billy was supposed to know who that was; Billy threw his head back against the locker and laughed.

“Oh, my god, can you just check yourself into a mental institution?” Sinclair said like a shithead. “Will, are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” said Will. God he was so zen and shit.

“What even happened?” Lucas asked; Billy was still laughing. “Sorry I couldn't get to you in time.”

“Okay, what exactly would you have done?” Maxine said. Lucas glared at her.

“They were just picking on me again,” Wills said.

Jonathan was kinda smiling; it made him look gross. He leaned against the locker next to Max. “Yeah, tell them what you just told the freakin' principal.”

Wills looked all innocent. “I got tired of their shit.”

“HAHAHAHA!” Billy said.

“Oh, my god, Billy, shut up!” Max begged him.

“What? This is fucking awesome.”

“It's not really,” Will said. He still looked kinda happy though. “I got a week of in-school suspension when we come back from break, and I'm not allowed to go to the spring dance.”

“We don't have to do that anyway,” Sinclair said like he was Byers' loyal boyfriend; Maxine rolled her eyes. “You didn't get expelled?”

“He _should have,_ ” Jonathan said. “I talked his way out of it for him.”

Sinclair was making a great face. “Did you?” he said.

Byers laughed like Lucas was amusing him. He was a weird dude. “Yeah, we just played the absentee father card. It definitely helped that our mother couldn't show up or anything. You know, rough home life.”

“Aggression issues,” Billy said; Byers laughed again.

“Those guys have been picking on me all year, they always call me a queer and stuff. I think Mr. Abbott felt sorry for me,” Wills said. “The worst part is that he called my mom.”

“Yeah, he's really only alive right now because Mom's at work,” Jonathan told them. “He's got about two hours 'til she gets home and buries him.”

Will was talkin' to Sinclair again. “I got grounded for two weeks, and I have to quit the AV Club,” he said. He hesitated. “And … I can't go to comic con.”

“MAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS?” exploded Sinclair.

“I'm sorry!” yelped Wills.

Billy thought about it; he stood up. “Okay, we should go out to celebrate or somethin'.”

“ _What?_ ” Sinclair said.

“Kid just won his first fuckin' fight, it's a big deal,” Billy told him; he was so jazzed up.

“Yeah, his _last_ fight, too,” Byers put in. Everyone ignored him again.

Sinclair was making one of his shit-faces; Christ he was nearly as bad as Wheeler Jr. “Uh, I wouldn't really say he _won_ – “

“I did win, Justin was crying a _lot_.”

“HAHAHA!” Billy said.

Will looked all giddy. “Can we go out?” he asked Jonathan.

“Uhhhh, no. No, I don't think that's a good idea, Mom's really mad – “

“You said he has two hours,” Max pointed out.

Sinclair was gettin' in the spirit of things. “Yeah, he's already dead, we might as well.”

“Yeah, I don't know how I feel about being pulled into this, I really enjoy being alive,” Byers said.

“It ain't a bank heist,” Billy told him. “She ain't gonna know if you take the kid out for an hour.”

Maxine and Wills put on their best nicey-nice faces. “Please?” they asked Byers.

“Please?” Sinclair said too. Billy rolled his eyes; he definitely wasn't gonna say _please_ to Jonathan Byers.

Byers folded in two seconds with three creepy kids pouting at him. He kind of looked like they were all amusing him; that was okay Billy guessed. “Okay, all right, we can go out.”

“YES!” said Max and Will.

“Where can we even go in two hours?” Sinclair said. “The arcade?”

“Nope, you can see that from the general store, Mom's got like this x-ray vision when she's pissed off,” Jonathan told him.

They all stood around thinkin' about what wasn't visible from the general store; just about everything was right there on Main Street.

“I guess we can just go to the diner,” Maxine said finally. “That's where we'd be anyway on a Friday, maybe Mike and Dustin will show up later.”

“Oh, Jesus, I hope so, what a fuckin' joy,” Billy said dryly; Jonathan actually laughed at him.

Wills looked all jazzed up and Billy was getting a huge kick out of him. Jeez he was so proud of the kid; he couldn't even believe it. “So we can go?” Will said.

Jonathan sighed. “Yeah, we can go.”

“Awesome!”

“All right, come on, champ,” Billy said. He grabbed Byers and threw him over his shoulder. He started walkin' down the hall with him. “Buy you a fuckin' milkshake.”

“Um, sure,” squeaked Will.

“Oh my god, Billy, you look like a huge idiot,” Maxine yapped; she was scurrying alongside him.

“Leave me alone,” Billy said. He shifted Will on his shoulder; the kid flopped like a fish.

“I think I have internal bruising,” he said; Billy laughed some more.

“Hey, go get my wallet,” he told Max.

“Okay. Do you need your books?”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Okay!” Max scampered off all eager.

Sinclair was making another great face by Billy’s shoulder. “Uh, isn't your stuff in the boys' locker room?” Billy didn't answer him; Sinclair of all people should know that Maxine was a huge pervert. She was probably havin’ the time of her life in there.

It was past four already and the parking lot was mostly empty; Jonathan Byers trailed along after Billy and Sinclair like an awkward fuck.

“Uh, looks like we got company,” he said; Hopper's police Jeep was parked right next to Billy's car at the back of the lot.

“Ah, shit,” Billy said.

Hop looked up and waved at them real nicey-nice; he wasn't smiling though.

Byers stared like an awkward fuck. “He waiting for you?”

“Ah, shit,” Billy said.

“Hey, get the fuck over here,” Hop called; they all stood staring at him. “ _Hargrove!_ ” he said.

“Ah, shit,” Billy said again. He stalked over to the car. “You need something?”

Hop stared at him from the Jeep. He looked real tired in two seconds. “Why are you carrying Joyce Byers' son around like a sack of potatoes?” he asked slowly.

Oh. Right. He’d almost forgot about the kid; he weight about less than a sack of potatoes.

“He got in a fight,” Billy told him.

Hopper stared some more. “Yeah, that in no way answers my question.”

“Let me talk to him, please?” Will yapped; he was so polite. Billy turned around. “OW, yeah, that was the door.”

“Sorry.”

“I punched Justin Gilmore in the face, we're going out to celebrate,” Will told Hopper. He paused. “Um. If you could not radio my mom about it.”

“Jesus Christ, good for you,” said Hopper. He said to Billy, “Turn around, asshole.”

“Yes sir,” Billy said. He whirled around with the kid again.

Hopper was smoking a cigarette now; he could light up in two seconds. “Jesus,” he said again. “Okay, officially I'm here giving you a parking ticket,” he said. “Hand-delivered 'cause I like ya so damn much.” He handed over a slip of paper to Billy. “You were parked in front of the fuckin' fire hydrant on Fairview Ave at, ah, two in the morning last Saturday, you know there's a _whole_ fuckin' street there if you don't want to use the driveway?”

Billy stared at him; Fairview was Harrington's street.

“Something to think about,” Hop told him. “Use your head, asshole.”

“Right,” Billy said blankly. He shifted Byers on his shoulder. “Right right right. Yeah, I was just – “

“Yeah, I don't care,” the chief said. “Unofficially I'm here to tell you we're goin' first Sunday of the month, that work for you?”

Billy knew what he was talking about. “Yes sir,” he said.

“Good, I wasn't gonna care if it didn't,” Hop told him. “Just meet me at my house at – hey, let's make it eleven, okay?” He smiled real sarcastic. “Kid has the goddamn directions in her head.”

“Yes sir,” Billy said. “We gonna take your car?”

Hopper stared at him like he was a crazy asshole. “No, _we’re_ not going to take my car,” he said; Billy stared back. “Jesus Christ, you take the kid, I’ll follow you. Real cute, almost like yous are grown up. I’m not sitting in the goddamn car with you for three hours.”

 _Four hours by truck!_ Billy almost said like a crazy person. “Okay.” He thought about it. “You want me to pick up Wheeler?” Hop stared at him; Billy supplied like an idiot, “Uh, Mike?”

“Why the hell would I want you to do that?”

Billy felt real scared. “Yeah, she said I gotta take him.”

“Jesus Christ.” Hop looked like he was in intense pain. He tossed his smoke out the window; Billy stared at the ashes as they floated onto his Converse. The chief rubbed his face. “That's great. You know what – you know what, he'll be at my goddamn house anyway, he's there every other weekend bothering me. Don't worry about it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” the chief said too; Billy couldn't tell if he was mocking him. Hop put the Jeep in drive. “See you then. Try not to get any more _parking tickets._ ” He drove off before Billy could stammer out a reply.

Maxine popped up over his shoulder like a horror. She and Sinclair and Byers #2 had all walked up while he'd been talkin' with the chief. “What was that about?” she asked. They all watched Hopper's Jeep roar off down the street.

“Uh, was tellin' me about when I could take El to see her mom.” He'd almost said _Jane_ ; Maxine got all worked up in her womanly hysteria when he called the kid that for some reason though. Was just her fuckin’ name.

“Oh, that's _great,_ ” Max said anyway with a huge tone; Billy wondered if she was gonna start going at him. She just looked at him instead and got a weird expression on her face. “Um, I think you can probably … put Will down now. Here's your wallet.”

“Oh, right.” Billy bent over and deposited Byers back on the ground. “Sorry, man.”

“Um, that's okay.” The kid's face was all red; Billy was probably embarassin' him with his queer shit.

Jonathan stood staring at them all. He looked at Billy. “What was that about?”

Billy just looked at him too without saying anything. He'd already wasted most of his goodwill for the day already talkin' to Byers. Will put in for him, “Billy told El he'd take her to see her mom, Hopper's really annoyed about it.”

Jonathan blinked. “I didn't know you knew Eleven,” he said slowly.

“Yeah, that's my girlfriend,” Billy said; Byers stared at him.

“He likes them really young, he's got like this problem,” Maxine said. She was so hilarious.

Byers stared some more. “Um, right.”

“Yeah, they're joking,” Sinclair told him patiently.

“Oh, no. I knew that.”

Wills looked like he was in pain. “So can we go?” he asked his creepy brother.

Byers got his amused expression back on his face. “Yeah, we can go,” he said. “Do you guys just want to meet us there?”

“I guess,” Billy said.

The creepy kids split up. Sinclair said he'd ride with Will and his brother. Maxine had a look on her snotty face that said she wouldn't be caught dead in Byers' junkmobile; Billy didn't blame her.

Max got into the Camaro; in two seconds she leaned across Billy and punched him hard in his left shoulder.

Billy slugged her back. She was always hittin' his bad arm. “The fuck, man!”

Max slugged him again. “THAT'S for saying racist shit to Lucas!”

“Oh my god, I didn't even fuckin' say anything!”

“Uh, yes you did, _Midnight?_ ” Max yapped and scowled. “He knows you still hate him, why do you always have to say dumb shit?”

“I don't hate him, you shit! I got my fucking ass kicked for him, maybe you forgot that.”

“Whatever, yes you do.” Maxine was scowling up a storm like he wasn't about to buy her a bunch of food and take her out on a Friday.

“I thought we was toleratin' each other, he started it with me.”

“Oh my god, just drive,” Max snapped at him. God she was mean.

Billy drove them down to the main drag; by the time he parked across the street from the diner she’d decided to stop being pissed.

Max skipped across the street with him like a little nerd. A huge utility van rumbled by and nearly crushed them; Max and Billy put their middle fingers up. They reached the sidewalk and crept up on Will and his brother and Sinclair.

Jonathan was standing over by the big diner window; somehow he was hunched over even though he was inspectin’ one of the dumb flyers that were always plastered up against the window.

Will was fidgeting away. “Can you _please_ be cool in here?” he asked his brother.

Byers smiled a little; truly he looked like a fuckin’ serial killer. “Me, be cool? I don’t know how,” he said; Will sighed all dramatic.

Maxine jumped on Lucas’s back. Lucas yelled his head off for a couple minutes at her; he wasn’t really mad. God Billy hated it when they started with their flirting shit.

“Can I really get a milkshake?” Will asked Billy.

“Yeah, get you whatever you want,” Billy said. “Sinclair, quit your bitchin’, Rocky Johnson here’s ready to eat.”

Sinclair gave him a look that said he was a huge tool; he even curled his lip. Haha! At least Billy wasn’t the one faggin’ off crying about some Star Wars expo.

They went on into the diner; Billy led Will over to the counter. Byers was still trailing behind them with his hands in his pockets.

“Billy, can Lucas and I get a table?” Max yapped.

God she thought she was so slick! Billy rolled his eyes. Even so: “I don’t care what you do,” he reminded her. Max and Sinclair scampered off to do their _Love Story_ shit in private.

Billy sat at the counter with Will and his brother; somehow he ended up sittin’ in between them instead of far the fuck away from Jonathan like he wanted. Their usual tired waitress was workin’; she smiled when she saw them. Then she stopped smiling and her eyes bugged out when she saw Will’s face. She came over to them behind the counter. “You look a little different today,” she said.

“My boy here just won his first fight, he knocked someone the heck out for pickin’ on him,” Billy told her. He got all jazzed up again; the waitress laughed at him.

“Good for you!” she said to Will; Billy’d always known he’d liked her.

“He needs like the biggest milkshake you got.”

“What do you want? Chocolate?”

“Sure,” said Will.

“What about you, do you want a cheeseburger or something?” she asked Billy; it was what he usually got.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

“Can I have that too?” Jonathan asked. Jesus God they were eating together; it was worse than a week of in-school suspension.

Will fidgeted in his chair once the waitress left; he touched the side of his face that was bruisin’ up like he was self-conscious.

“Kid, you look great, you look so cool, you look like a million bucks right now,” Billy told him.

“Thanks Billy,” said Will all shy. He was too fun.

“So you gonna tell me the shit or what? How’d it go down?”

“Oh boy,” said Jonathan like an 80-year-old grandpa; Billy ignored him.

“It wasn’t a big fight or anything,” Wills told him. ”I don’t even really remember. I was just waiting for Lucas because he forgot to sign our camera back in for our project. It was these two guys, Justin and his friend RJ, he’s the other guy that picks on me.”

“Yeah, I know that asshole,” Billy said; he vaguely remembered throwin’ him around the parking lot once or twice.

“I just told them to leave me alone, Gilmore asked me what I was gonna do about it, so I punched him in the face,” Will said; Billy laughed a lot and the kid looked all pleased. “I remembered what you said but I couldn’t really aim, his nose crunched like a pack of Pop Rocks.”

“HAHAHA,” Billy said. “That’s great, I really like that.”

“God, you really get off on this shit,” Jonathan said; Billy didn’t know why he thought they was havin’ a conversation.

“S’like the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not really true,” said Will all loyal.

“Not video games,” Billy said; Will laughed.

“Okay, he’s pretty bad at those,” he said. Jonathan smiled like a weird person (he did everything like a weird person). “Billy’s been in a ton of fights.”

“Not that many.”

“He beat these guys up at the arcade like six months ago, he beat up Tommy Hall eighty times,” Will told his brother.

The waitress came over with their food (and a bag of ice for Will’s eye) and they all thanked her; Billy turned back to Will.

“How'd you know about that stuff?”

“Max told me,” Will said; he was already drinking his milkshake. Huh.

“Tommy Hall's an asshole,” Jonathan said right away. “I heard you, uh, beat him up for Steve Harrington back in October.”

Really Billy didn't ever need to hear Steve's name coming out of Byers' mouth. “That was a good month, think I socked him like three times now.”

“Billy's done tons of stuff like that,” Wills told his brother. He held the ice to his eye and rolled off a big ol’ list of Billy's trials and disputes; holy hell Maxine had told him some shit. Really it made him feel kinda weird, thinking of her bragging about him or whatever.

“I ain't even win like half of those, you got it twisted.”

“Well, you're still alive, I think that says something,” Jonathan said.

“Ain't you ever been in a fight?” Billy asked him.

Jonathan got a weird look on his face. “Uh, just one,” he said.

“Okay, did you win it or what?”

Jonathan got an even weirder look. “I think so,” he said slowly. He drank his soda.

Billy sat at the counter for a long while with Byers #1 and #2; Jonathan kept asking him shit about school and stuff. School was about Billy’s least favorite topic and Jonathan Byers was about his least favorite person but he was trying real hard to play nicey-nice for Wills. God it was fucking tiring, being nice. Why’d people do it all the time.

“You’re in AP Lit, right?” Jonathan asked him.

“Got O’Hearn.”

“Oh, yeah, I have her too, third period.”

“Seventh.”

“Oh, right,” Byers said. He looked kind of surprised. “Oh, so you’re in it with Nancy?”

“Looks that way.” He sent up a prayer of thanks to the god of guidance counselors for puttin’ Byers in third period; if he’d have had to deal with the both of them all year he’d probably have fuckin’ died already.

“She never really mentions you.”

Billy was nearly sure he managed not to make a face. “Why would she?”

“Well, you’re friends with her brother, right?”

“Look, don’t insult me,” Billy said severely; Will started laughing a lot.

Jonathan got up to use the bathroom and a couple of seconds later Maxine came skulking over. She slid into the vacated seat and leaned close to him.

“It’s almost six o’clock,” she whispered in Billy’s ear like a gross gremlin. She was all up in his personal space as usual and she smelled like Fruit Stripes gum.

Billy smacked her away. “So what?”

Maxine made a face at him and leaned in again. “So, _dumbass_ , Steve usually meets us here at six when we don’t have work, maybe you should stop flirting with Jonathan before he comes in and freaks out again.”

Jesus God she was an insane person. “Screw you, I’m not fucking flirting!” Billy hissed back at her. Really she insulted him; she had such a low opinion of him. He wondered if she thought that just because he was fuckin’ queer it meant he wanted to flirt with every gross dude that walked by him. Shit. “The hell you talkin’ about? Where’d you get gum?”

Max rolled her eyes and gave him two pieces. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“Thanks, go away now.”

A moment later Byers came back over and started inspectin’ his kid brother. He pulled at the ice pack. “Your eye’s looking way worse,” he said. He was kinda like a den dad too Billy figured; definitely not a cute one like Steve was. “I think we should get home, you’ve got about twenty minutes til Mom’s off the clock. Anyway I have to work.”

Wills looked resigned to his fate. “Okay,” he said to his brother. He slid off his counter stool. “I have to go get murdered now,” he told Billy. “Bye Billy, thanks, see you later.”

“Good luck, man.” Billy watched Will say goodbye to Max and Lucas and then leave with his brother. He looked at Max and Lucas again; it was time to go play chaperon. Anyway he was bored now in two seconds sitting alone at the counter.

Sinclair looked annoyed when Billy came over and sat down too close next to him. “Miss me?” Billy asked him.

“You bet,” Sinclair said in the most sarcastic voice Billy’d ever heard. “HEY!” Sinclair said when Billy stole some of his fries; they were still hot.

“Did you kids just order? The hell were you doin’ for two hours?”

“We are _not_ kids, and we had sodas,” Max told him. Jesus God they’d probably had themselves a little date while he’d been over at the counter. He felt horror-struck: he hoped Harrington wasn’t gonna want to stare at him for two hours and only let him drink a soda or something on Sunday. What were they even gonna do.

Anyway he wasn’t thinking about Sunday, he reminded himself.

No more than five minutes had passed before the diner door banged open again and Henderson shuffled in with Rebecca and Wheeler Jr. Billy lamented his life. He should have stayed at the counter. He hadn’t thought too much of it but he guessed the creepy kids really were always at the diner on Fridays; he’d mostly been with Harrington lately.

“Hey guys!” Henderson thunked his bookbag down on the tabletop and almost upset Sinclair’s soda. “You don’t have work?” he asked Billy and Max.

Billy shook his head; Max said, “I go in like every other day until Easter. Did hear about Will?”

“What, did he finally beat your Dig-Dug score or something?” Wheeler Jr asked her.

Max made a huge shitface at him. “No, he beat Justin Gilmore’s _face_ or something.”

“WHAT?” said Henderson and Wheeler. Max and Lucas launched into the story. Wheeler Jr was skeptical; Henderson got a huge kick out of it. They both wished they had seen it (Billy did too). Henderson waxed philosophical about how popular Will was gonna be now; he and Sinclair got into a big argument over it.

The kids all started talking about their dungeons and dragons shit and chomping food everywhere and Billy mentally checked himself out of the conversation. Rebecca was organizing Henderson’s backpack for him all serious; she had a big pink ribbon in her hair that clashed with her faded checkered blouse. She told Max that she wished she go to Bev’s party with her but that her mom would murder her if she found out.

“But she lets you out with that thing?” Max asked and tilted her chin at Dustin; Henderson stuck his tongue out at her like a five year old.

Goddamn the brats could talk. Billy ate a lot of fries again and all three creepy guys smacked at him. They were a fuckin’ sadistic cult.

Maxine was starting to look pretty bored. “Where’s Steve at?” she demanded, interrupting the boys.

“Why do you want to know?” Sinclair asked in two seconds. Max ignored him.

“He’s busy tonight,” Henderson told her; for some reason he leaned all covert on the table.

“Doing _what?_ ” Jesus God.

Wheeler Jr was eating his cheeseburger; he dripped ketchup down the front of his shirt. “He’s barely been around anyway.”

“He’s gettin’ new glasses,” Billy told Max. He didn’t need her starting her shit in front of everyone.

Henderson smiled like a Wookie. “Okay, do you really believe that? He has a doctor’s appointment on a Friday night?”

“What about it?” Billy said; Harrington was just that kind of little dork.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Tell him what?” Max yapped too.

“Okay. Guys!” Henderson said; he leaned on the table some more. ”I’ve been waiting to talk about this.”

“Oh, my god,” said Sinclair. He already looked resigned.

Henderson ignored him. ”Okay. Okay! So as we all know, Steve has been ignoring us for months – “

“We don’t care if he ignores us,” butt in Wheeler Jr and Sinclair.

“Whatever, HE’S BEEN IGNORING ME FOR MONTHS, I’ve had my suspicions – “

“ _Please_ don’t start with your stupid theories again,” Sinclair moaned.

“IT’S NOT A THEORY, HE TOLD ME ABOUT IT!”

Billy stole more of Sinclair’s fries. “Told ya what?”

Henderson looked even more like a happy Wookie. “GUYS! STEVE TOTALLY HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW!”

“Look, who cares about – wait. He does?” asked Sinclair all overjoyed.

“ _What?_ ” said Wheeler Jr and Max; Billy choked on his fries. Max said, “Shut up, no he doesn’t!”

“Uh, YES he does! I ASKED HIM!”

Maxine looked murderous. “No, he _can’t_ have a girlfriend, he’s with me and _Billy_ all the time!”

“Okay, Max,” Billy said.

“I guess not all the time.” Henderson made his gross Wookie noise.

Sinclair and Wheeler Jr looked disgusted. “STOP DOING THAT!”

“How did you guys not notice it, HE HAD A HUGE HICKEY ON HIS NECK ALL WEEK! THAT’S A BIG CLUE!” Henderson yelled.

Holy shit it was too good. Billy ate more fries. By this point he was mostly over his bitchy bullshit; he was pretty sure Harrington wasn’t steppin’ out on him. He ate even more fries to keep himself from saying any lame shit.

“Shut up! _What?_ ” Max looked over at him all crazy. “Did you know about that?”

Billy tried to look innocent and discreetly heartbroken. “Nope.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you, you’re _practically_ his best friend aside from me,” Henderson said; Billy managed not to roll his eyes.

Maxine looked all broken up on his behalf. “That doesn’t make any sense, how could he not _tell you?_ ” she practically wailed. Seriously she looked about to cry; Billy kicked her under the table.

“OUCH!” said Wheeler Jr. Everyone ignored him.

“It’s probably just, whatever, someone he’s hooking up with, that doesn’t mean anything.” Max was trying to console herself.

“Nope, he really likes her, he’s been seeing her for a while, status confirmed,” yapped Henderson. Max scowled her head off at him.

“Dustin’s really excited about this,” Rebecca put in. “A girlfriend was his biggest theory for Steve, he’s been doing a lot of sleuthing.” That was great. “We went over there last night and ambushed him, we were hoping to catch a glimpse of her.”

“He was alone listening to romantic music!” Jesus God. Somehow Billy managed not to cackle.

“What music?” said Wheeler; everyone ignored him.

“Okay, so what all did he say about her?” Sinclair asked; really Billy wanted to know too.

“We didn’t really get that many details, he said she doesn’t live in town,” Rebecca said; she was a little gossip too. “I think she probably works with him or something, like maybe she’s way older?”

Or three months younger. Hahahaha.

“That’s _revolting_ ,” Maxine was saying; her lip was curled in disgust.

“Do you have something to say about older women?” Henderson asked her. He put his arm around Rebecca.

“Get off me, you slug!” said Rebecca all grouchy; Henderson looked besotted with her.

“She’s probably taking advantage of him!” said Max.

Hahaha. “What else he say about her?” Billy wanted to know.

“I can’t believe we’re talking about this,” Wheeler Jr said; he was probably all sad because he wasn’t hookin’ up with Elijane.

Henderson shook his backpack. “Shut up, Mike, this is important! Okay, do you want to know the details?” He reached into his pack and pulled out his little notebook.

“Dustin, no,” Rebecca begged; Henderson ignored her.

“First off, okay, Steve said she has a GREAT BODY, like wow – “

Holy shit it was too good. Billy stuffed as many fries in his mouth as he could.

“DUSTIN!” said Rebecca again. “You’re such a pig, he didn’t _just_ talk about her body.”

“Uh, mostly! Okay, he said she has AMAZING EYES, they’re so blue you can go SWIMMING in them!”

The creepy kids all gasped.

“What? _Ew.”_

“Oh, my god.”

“Sick!”

Billy put his head down on the table so he wouldn’t crack up which Maxine apparently took for great sorrow. “Shut up, Dustin!” The whole table shook as Max slugged him; Henderson cackled like a banshee.

“I know, he said they look like the ocean!”

“Oh, my god, shut up.”

“Ew!”

“None of us have even _been_ to ocean,” Wheeler Jr said.

“I know, he was like, whatever, okay, the bottom of a pool!”

“Man, that’s the corniest shit I’ve ever heard,” said Sinclair in disgust.

“I think it’s lovely,” Rebecca said.

“I think it’s _stupid,_ ” said Maxine. “This is stupid. Why are we even still talking about this, who cares about Steve?”

“Uh, apparently you,” Sinclair told her.

“NO, I DON’T, I NEVER HAVE,” Max said in a big hysterical sulk.

“I’m really proud of him,” Henderson yapped. “He’s like a total different person from last year.”

Wheeler Jr was making a moderate shitface. “Whatever, I guess it’s good that he’s finally over my stupid sister.”

Billy thought so too. Wheeler put some money down on the table. “I have to go, I told El I’d call her at eight. You can have the rest of my food if you want,” he told Billy in an extreme act of goodwill; truly Billy felt touched.

“Yeah, thanks,” Billy said; he was gonna eat it anyway.

The creepy kids looked all out of sorts with their Dungeon Master missing. Henderson finished eating his and Rebecca’s food; Max was scowling away into her soda.

Dustin got his bookbag zipped up. “Rebecca and I are going to go and spy on Steve some more if he’s home, want to come?” he asked Max and Sinclair.

“I guess so,” said Sinclair.

Max stuck her nose in the air like a snooty poodle.”I have better things to do.”

“Okay, your loss,” Henderson told her; Max made a huge fishface. “Bye Max! Bye Billy!”

“Where’s your fuckin’ tip money, I ain’t covering you assholes,” Billy said.

“Oh, my god.” Henderson and Sinclair left a few more bucks on the table.

Billy got up to let Sinclair out of the booth; he watched the guys leave with Rebecca. When he turned back to the table Max was staring at him all serious. “What?”

“Are you okay?” she asked; Billy remembered he was supposed to be all heartbroken.

“I guess.”

Max frowned and put her head in her hands. Her little forehead was all wrinkled up; she actually looked devastated. “I’m really sorry, Billy. I swear I thought he liked you!”

Jesus God she made him feel like shit in two seconds. He didn’t know how he could be getting a huge kick out of her and be feeling bad at the same time but that’s what was happening. He shouldn’t be feeling bad; this was a way to get her off his back for a while. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It could just be a thing, he might not be serious about her or whatever. You know you could still – ”

“Sounds pretty serious.” Hahahaha.

Max frowned and then scowled. “OKAY, well, you know what, he’s STUPID, ANYWAY!” she said; in two seconds she got up to about a level six in her hysteria. “You know, I didn’t really want to say anything before, but HE’S NOT EVEN THAT CUTE, ALL RIGHT? YOU COULD DO _SO MUCH_ BETTER!”

“Dude, shut the _fuck_ up!” Billy hissed at her; they were all the way in the back of the diner but they were still in fucking public.

“Oh, sorry.” Max looked cowed and lowered her voice. “Sorry! But I mean … do you even still like him? HER! I MEAN, DO YOU STILL LIKE HER!” she yelled like a freak.

God he was tellin’ too many lies. “Yeah I still do,” he said.

Max looked even sadder for him. “Okay. Okay, well! We can figure something out! Oh, we should – “

“Max. It don’t matter.”

Max gave him a moody look and drank her soda. “Fine.” She drank her soda some more, then brightened. “Oh! You should come to Bev’s party with me!”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Billy said on reflex.

“I picked all her music! It’s going to be super fun, Billy.”

He ate the last of Wheeler’s fries. “I doubt that.”

“Come on, it’s NOT just going to be dorks like us, BEV INVITED EIGHT OTHER SENIORS!”

“Holy shit, you fuckin’ socialites,” Billy said; Max laughed.

“Just come with me, I’ll get major cool points if you show up! What else are you going to do? BEV MADE JELL-O SHOTS!”

Billy did like Jell-O shots. Anyway if Henderson and Sinclair were really going to go and spy on Harrington all night then they were ruining his potential plans anyway. “Okay, should I buy you guys some beer?”

Max looked all overjoyed and shit. Billy felt okay.

 

* * *

 

The weekend went by. On Saturday Billy went in to the car garage; he didn’t need to worry about Hank or Miles coming in and bugging him. Some of the parts for the Jeep had come in already and he spent a couple hours taking everything apart best he could.

He definitely wasn’t going to tell Maxine they were fixing it up to sell. She’d already started going on about gettin’ her learner’s permit in the fall and eyeballing all the cars that came into the shop.

He got home a little past nine and called Harrington. They hadn’t really set a time for tomorrow, he’d just said for Billy to come over. Billy figured he was supposed to call him. Or maybe Steve was supposed to call him and he was supposed to wait for it. Maybe he’d called last night already when Billy’d been stoned out of his mind listening to a Velvet Underground record at Bev’s apartment. Maybe the whole thing’d just been some bullshit Harrington had said just to say and he’d already forgot about it.

Maybe Billy was being a total faggot asshole and was thinking too much about everything.

Jesus Christ. He sat on the couch with the phone and called Harrington. The house was all empty; Max and her moms were at work and his old man was probably at the bar. Funny how he and Susan fought all the time about havin’ no money for her to buy a new fuckin’ shirt for her work but he always seemed to have money for drinks when he wanted ‘em.

The phone rang for a while, eight or nine times. The machine was about to pick it up and Billy sure as hell wasn’t gonna leave a message; he never did that shit. Sounded like fuckin’ Barney on a tape recorder or something.

Steve answered on the last ring all out of breath. “Harringtons’.”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Oh, hi! Hi, sorry, I just walked through the door.”

“You was out?”

“Uh, yeah. I mean no, not really, my dad dragged me to the bar with him after work, it was totally lame.”

Eight months of hanging out with Harrington and suddenly Billy couldn’t think of a fuckin’ thing to say to him. “Yeah, I bet,” he said after a couple seconds. “What you do at work?”

Steve started talking his head off like Billy figured he would. He talked for about ten minutes.

Billy leaned against the arm of the couch and listened to him. Harrington always just launched off on these stories about his job like Billy was supposed to know what all they did there; after a couple months he’d figured out that it was some big office furniture export company that Harrington’s old man had started. Furniture was boring but Billy guessed people needed it. They were in high demand; they even had shit on the stock market. They had four offices, three in Indiana and one out in Illinois.

“Probably you could own one one day,” Billy’d said once. “Bring your secretary with you and all.” Steve made a face like Billy was making fun of him.

“Linda’s not my secretary, she’d beat you with a filing cabinet for saying that,” was all he’d said.

While Steve was talking on and on Billy’s old man came into house. Billy’d been so busy listenin’ to Harrington he hadn’t even heard the car pull up; he shifted the phone against his ear and tried his hardest not to even look at his dad. He could feel his shoulders hunching anyway like a little kid.

Neil ignored him. He walked past him down the hall and a few seconds later Billy heard the shower start up and the bathroom door close. He relaxed again.

Steve was still talking. God he fucking talked a lot. Linda his not-secretary had got them lunch; she was starting a new needlepoint. She was glad his neck was finally healed; she had not been pleased with him. “What about you, what did you do today?”

“Uh, I was at work too.”

“Okay,” Steve said. For some reason he sounded like he had his Billy-is-amusing face on. “Is that it?”

Billy thought about it. “Pretty much.”

“What did you do there?”

“We got this Jeep in that we’re gonna fix up,” Billy told him. Wasn’t like he didn’t like talkin’ about cars but Harrington’d have no fucking clue about most of the shit he was saying anyway. “Did you get your glasses?” he asked him.

“Yeah, I got my prescription. My eyes have gotten like way worse, my doctor asked me if I’ve had any head trauma in the last two years or something.”

Billy didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Uh, you mean – “

“Oh my god, you asshole, I’m fucking with you.” Steve laughed at him.

Billy pressed his tongue against the corner of his mouth. “That ain’t funny, man.”

“Sorry, sorry. Shit, you’re too cute.” Steve was still laughing at him.

“Am I?”

“Yeah, you kinda are, are you ready for tomorrow?” Jesus Christ.

“I dunno, you sure you got time for me?” Billy leaned back against the couch.

“Yeah, Bill, why wouldn’t I – ”

“I mean, you know, I heard you been spendin’ a lot of time with this mystery girl out near your job, I dunno if you got time for me.” If Harrington was going to be a prick and tease him Billy was gonna give it right back.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said in the best voice Billy’d ever heard. “That’s not – so I didn’t actually – okay I knew he was gonna tell you guys some shit but – “

“You coulda told me if you were seein’ someone, Stevie. I don’t wanna fuck up your game plan.”

“Okay, all right,” Steve said still in the great voice. He sounded so embarrassed and it was amazing. “Obviously I, I meant you, you _really_ don’t need to tease me about this crap because it’s your fault anyway – “

“I’m not teasing you, I’m so curious, man,” Billy said; Steve groaned on the phone like a dramatic bitch. “I wanna know all about this. So do you really think I have _amazing eyes_ or what?”

“Aaaaahaha,” Steve said like a little dork. “He told you that, huh?”

“Yeah, he told us last night, he had a lotta stuff to say.”

“Heh, that’s great,” Steve said. ”Okay, yeah, I said some shit, I figure it’s like the only way you’d ever let me brag about you a little.”

God he made Billy feel all fuckin’ squirmy inside; he still couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. “Whatever, man.” He shifted on the couch again. “You know you probably just made shit way worse tellin’ him all that.”

“Yeah, I know, what was I supposed to do? You know they already tried to break into my goddamn house last night, Lucas and Dustin, I mean,” Steve told him. “I think Dustin, like, tried to climb up my roof like you did before, he fell though, I found him in the recycling bin.”

Billy started laughing. “Hey, did it turn you on when I did that?”

“Screw you, we’re not talking about that,” said Steve.

“Okay, okay.” He heard the shower turn off. “Hey, I gotta go. What time tomorrow?”

“Uh, want to come over around four?”

“Yeah, okay.” He felt true slight terror.

“Okay. Bye. See you.”

Billy hung up.

 

Sunday came and Billy was pretty sure he was going to die; he was definitely going to die. He was making way too big of a deal out of this shit in his head and he was gonna fucking die.

The thing was he wasn’t that great at the dating thing. He could admit it. Okay it wasn’t like he was terrible; he just wasn’t the best at it. Wasn’t like he hadn’t taken girls out before. He’d gone out with tons of people: taken ‘em to the mall and to the dollar movies and shit. Mostly it was stuff you did when you just wanted to hook up; he and Harrington had already done that so Billy had no clue why Steve had said _so do you maybe wanna go out with me sometime._ What the fuck were they gonna do; why did they need to do it.

It was that real cliche romantic shit he couldn’t handle; it made his skin crawl. Shit he couldn’t deal with it. Even watchin’ a fucking John Hughes movie or something was too much; he needed to be stoned off his ass with Maxine and Harrington laughing on either side of him. The guy’d bring the girl flowers and they’d say some dramatic romantic bullshit and the music would swell and Billy’d be trying not to puke.

He just wasn’t good at that stuff. He couldn’t do it and be for real about it. It wasn’t just because he wasn’t into girls. It was fucking boring; it was too much; it didn’t feel like something he could do. Tracey’d made him take her to like three or four fancy places before she’d just fucking gave up on him and said they could go bowling. _You look like I’m killing you!_ she said. He thought she’d dump him afterwards; she kept him around though.

He wished he had been the kinda person that knew what she wanted and could give it to her. Haha okay well he could give it to her sometimes but she’d wanted the John Hughes shit too. What was he supposed to do, put his fuckin’ earring in her hand like they was in _The Breakfast Club_. Could never even pick the right flowers or whatever. He thought about putting his earring in Steve’s hand and felt a little crazy. He wondered why he always ended up playing the Molly Ringwald part in his head.

Four o’clock was a long time to wait. Billy laid around in his room til almost noon; he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

He went down to the basement and worked out for a long time. He thought maybe he could tire himself out to the point where he wasn’t freaked out anymore; it didn’t really work though. He went back upstairs; Neil and Susan were getting ready to go out somewhere so Billy ignored them.

He took a shower; he changed his shirt twice. Was he supposed to look all fancy. It was so terrible. He bet Harrington had taken Nancy to a bunch of nice places – they probably had candles and shit where he took her. Ambient lighting. That fancy water that burned your mouth like soda. He thought about Maxine saying _Does Steve like Italian food?_ and almost threw up on himself; he imagined them eatin’ spaghetti or something like in _Lady and the Tramp_ while some fat guy played an accordion (mind you Billy didn’t watch that shit but Max had had it on one day). Billy was the tramp; Steve was the lady. Obviously.

God they couldn’t do that shit anyway. Would Harrington really make him do that shit?

Out in the living room Max was flopped out on the couch like a dead fish; next Sunday was Easter and she was gearing herself up to work all week. She looked up when he came out of his room again.

“Hey, want to watch _Miami Vice_ with me?” she asked. “I taped last week’s.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He had time he guessed.

Maxine talked her head off during the show; Billy didn’t even know why she’d even put it on. “This is the only episode this month, how can they even do that?” she yapped on and on.

“Yeah,” said Billy.

Max gave him one of her snotty looks. “Oh my god, are you even listening to me?”

“Sure I am.”

Now she gave him a skeptical look; he guessed that’d been too nice of a reply or some shit. She folded her arms around the throw pillow she was holding and gazed at him all upset. “Hey, are you still sad about Steve?”

Billy stared at her; he almost told her even though he’d told himself he wasn’t gonna tell her until he found a place to move into or whatever. She’d reminded him again running her fuckin’ mouth off in the diner that she could make a real problem for him.

Even so it’d be so easy to tell her; he almost did it. She could probably help him out or at least help him figure out what fucking shirt he was supposed to wear. Better yet she’d probably just murder him in a rage for keeping it from her for so long and then he wouldn’t have to go on the stupid goddamn date anyway.

He didn’t tell her though. Probably in about two or three hours there wouldn’t be anything to tell her about anyway because he was definitely going to fuck it up tonight.

“Nah, I’m okay,” he said.

Max looked more skeptical. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Said I’m okay.”

“ _Fine._ ” She looked like she was gearin’ up to go at him some more; she just turned back to the TV though. After a couple minutes _Miami Vice_ ended and Max got up to turn the VCR off. Billy took that as his cue to slip off back to his room.

He sat on his bed and smoked a cigarette; it was past three-thirty. He didn’t know why he was being like this. It was too stupid. He didn’t know why the fuck he’d said okay on Wednesday; okay he knew why. If Harrington wanted to go out Billy was gonna go out but he was probably gonna fuck it up. It was too stupid.

He changed his shirt again; he didn’t know what the fuck they were gonna do so he didn’t know what to put on. He put his blue t-shirt on. Harrington liked the blue t-shirt. His only pair of pants that didn’t have holes in them were still crumpled up on the locker room floor from Friday; he ended up just putting on his Garbage Pail Kid jeans. If he was gonna screw everything up he was gonna be comfortable doing it.

He went out to the living room again; Max looked at him weird. “Gonna go to work for a while,” Billy told her.

“You’re always at work now, it sucks,” Max said and made him feel all guilty; he wasn’t really.

“Do something with ya this week, you can come look at apartments with me.”

“REALLY?” Max got all jazzed up in two seconds.

“Yeah, whatever, I gotta go.”

The drive to Harrington’s took about a million years; he was going to be fucking late. Billy smoked three cigarettes on the way there and then realized he was gonna smell like a giant goddamn ashtray. Anyway he figured he usually did. He didn’t know why he was being like this.

He parked in front of Steve’s house – _not_ by the fire hydrant – and sat looking up at it for a couple minutes. Felt like the fucking Amityville house or something. When he went up the walkway it felt even more like the Amityville house.

Steve answered the door; he just looked normal. “Hey, come in, I’m almost ready, I have to feed the beasts,” he said. He was wearing jeans too and his green jacket like usual. That was the jacket he’d been wearing when Billy’d beat the shit out of him a year and a half ago; it was also the jacket he’d been wearing when Billy’d grabbed him and kissed him for the first time.

Billy did not point out the significance of the jacket. “Okay,” he said.

Luke and Leia were prancing around the kitchen; Steve had their food out so they hadn’t come running to the door when Billy’d knocked. Some guard dogs. Luke loped over to him right away though and pushed against his leg.

Steve poured the dogs’ food; Leia stuck her head in the bowl like a rabid animal as he was pouring and spilled kibble everywhere. “Oh my god, can you not?” Steve said. “Clean up after yourself.” Leia looked at him and crunched some kibble. “Sorry, I like forgot about them all day, I was gettin’ ready.”

“You look good,” Billy said. He was pretty sure that was what he was supposed to say.

Steve already had his Billy-is-amusing face on; it was going to be a long night. “Thanks, you too,” he said. “Oh, hey, I got you something.” He fumbled on the counter and handed Billy a record; it was _Easter_ by Patti Smith.

Billy took the record and stared at it; he felt totally blank. “Uh. Thanks.”

“Oh my god, you don’t have to look like that, I didn’t buy you a fucking present or anything,” Steve told him; he looked like Billy was being funny.

“I don’t – “

“It was just in our basement. I think it was my mom’s, she hasn’t played a record since the 70s. I thought you’d want to hear it again.”

Oh. That was okay. “Yeah I do,” Billy said again. He just stood there like a dope holdin' the record.

“So you can just have it or whatever.”

“I can bring it back.”

Steve kind of laughed. “Okay, sure.” Billy looked at the record some more; Steve watched him. He said, “Okay,” again. “Bill, you’re kind of freaking me out here.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You look like you’re being tortured, we’re just going out to eat.”

 _YEAH, IN THE FREAKING CITY!_ Billy managed not to scream in his face; he didn’t answer for a couple seconds. He turned the record over in his hands.

Steve stared at him; he looked less like Billy was being funny. “Do you not want to go?”

“No, we can go,” Billy said. He leaned on the counter. “You gonna take me somewhere fancy?”

Steve got the big wrinkle-frown between his eyes. “Uh, I thought we would just get a pizza or something,” he said. “Do you want – we can go somewhere else.”

Oh. That was okay too. “Pizza’s fine.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to do some big thing, I could – “

“I don’t,” Billy told him. “Pizza’s good. I like pizza.” He was the world’s best conversationalist.

“Okay.” Steve made his eyebrows look normal again. “I thought we could, okay this is kinda lame, there’s this drive-through in Indianapolis I thought you’d like, Sunday’s horror night so that works for you, doesn’t really work for me – “ Billy laughed without meaning to – “but yeah, I found out they’re playing _The Thing_ tonight, isn’t that like your favorite?”

Billy’d gotten drunk and talked about _The Thing_ for ten minutes back during winter break; Harrington had said that it was the most Billy’d ever talked about anything which wasn’t true. “Yeah, basically is.”

“Okay, so is that okay?” Steve looked all weird; Billy wondered how long he’d spent thinkin’ up some stupid shit that Billy’d want to do. It made him feel all squirmy again.

“Yeah, I like the movies.”

“Okay. Okay good. I haven’t been to the drive-in since I was a kid, this will be fun!” Steve said like a little dork. He put the dogs’ food away; he patted Luke’s head and then held his face and looked at him all serious. “Don’t lay on the couch,” he told him.

Luke wagged his tail; he was a good boy and had never been on the couch in his life.

“I’m excited about this pizza, it’s better than Rino’s,” Steve told him as they headed to his car. “It’s not that fancy, you don’t need to freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Billy said; Steve ignored him.

“They have this like spiral pizza thing there, I’ve been thinking about it for two years.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s just this thing, there’s extra sauce on it so it’s like in a spiral – “ Billy made a face and Steve laughed – “no, it’s good, I swear.”

“I dunno.”

“You’ll like it,” Steve told him.

He thought it might be weird gettin’ in the car but it wasn’t; the radio turned on and Steve made a face. “Oh my god, why’s this always on.” It was some ABBA song.

Billy was pretty sure Harrington had POWER 99 on. “Because, you listen to bad radio.”

“It’s not bad radio, it’s regular radio,” Steve said; he had his Billy-is-amusing face back on and Billy guessed that was okay. “Okay, you find something.”

“Okay.” Billy messed around with the radio while Steve got them to the edge of town and onto the state road that took you out of Hawkins; Kansas was on 102.1 singing ‘Carry On Wayward Son.’

Steve looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Dustin and I do a really good rendition of this one,” he said.

“Bet you do.” Billy clicked past it right away; Steve laughed. They got Judas Priest singing ‘Living After Midnight’ on 104.5 which was okay.

The drive to the city was all right; it took a little over an hour. Billy liked being in Harrington’s fancy car and he liked hearing him talk to the other cars on the road, was like a cartoon. “Oh, my god,” Steve said three times in increasing exasperation as the Chevy in front of them tapped on their brakes half a dozen times. He went around them; they put their blinker on. “DO NOT!” He pointed at them. He was a fucking dork. ”I have to do this, otherwise I get road rage.”

Steve only got lost twice finding the pizza joint; it wasn’t real fancy so Billy felt okay. They had lots of neon signs and records on the walls. Indianapolis looked less like the _Little House on the Prairie_ shit than the rest of Indiana did; you could see the canal and the river and the pier. Steve held the door open for him when they went into the pizza joint and Billy gave him a look.

“Not a girl,” he reminded him.

Steve made a face. “Oh, my god, it’s called being a nice person.”

“I’m just warning you.”

“Okay, okay, I want to slam all the doors in your face anyway.” Harrington was such a sweet-talker.

The pizza was good like Steve said it would be; you could even smoke in the place. Billy still felt weird but he was tryin’ not to act it. He didn’t flirt with their waitress even though Steve still said he flirted with the waitress.

It almost felt like normal even though it wasn’t really normal; wasn’t like they held hands or some shit. They didn’t have trouble finding anything to talk about like Billy’d worried they might. Steve talked about work and the bar he’d gone to with his dad. Billy told him about the shitty party at Beverly’s house and how Will had beat up Justin Gilmore (he omitted Jonathan Byers from the story). They talked about the Stanley Cup and the game they were missing; Billy said he couldn’t believe they were missing the game right now.

Steve gave him a stupid look. “Well, the heart wants what it wants,” he said; he started cracking up at Billy’s face. “What, was that too much?” The waitress came over with new sodas for them and saved Billy from having to answer.

“I got it,” Steve said when Billy took his wallet out to pay. He waved his credit card in Billy’s face.

Billy put his wallet back in his jeans pocket. “That your daddy’s?”

“No, asshole, it’s mine,” Steve said; he let Billy take the card and look at it. “Linda at work helped me pick it out, you’re supposed to build your credit and all. I just buy all my food with it and pay it off at the end of the month.”

Harrington was all fiscally responsible and shit; he was like a real grown up. Billy licked his lips. “What’s your credit limit?”

Steve took the card back and grinned at him. “Uh, that answer depends on how nice ya are to me later.”

“Shit, man,” Billy said; Steve laughed.

The drive-in was just outside of the city and it was pretty nice, not like the junked-up one near Riverside with the ripped screen.

It was just getting dark. There were lots of guys and girls, guys and guys and girls and girls. Some young people with kids and some old people with kids; not that many kids on account of it being horror night. Steve dragged him to the concession stand and got about a million snacks even though they’d just ate a whole pizza half an hour ago.

Billy watched Steve standing in the line tossing his wallet and squinting; he felt some kinda way. Steve looked over. “Do you want Skittles?” he asked.

“Okay.”

In the car they divided up the candy and fought over the volume of the radio; you could just tune to the station the movie soundtrack was playing on which Billy privately thought was cool as shit. He hadn’t been to the drive-in since he was a kid either.

Steve groaned his head off and complained that they should have parked closer. He took his contacts out over the steering wheel and put the amazing glasses on. God Billy didn’t know how people could just touch their eyeballs like that; it was so fuckin’ gross.

“Stop watching me!” Steve commanded like a dramatic bitch. Hell yeah that was Billy’s dramatic bitch; he stole Steve’s Junior Mints. “HEY, asshole, you have your own shit!”

Steve calmed down once the movie started. “Okay, you can’t talk,” Billy told him.

“What? I know, I’ve actually been to a movie before,” Steve talked and talked.

“And don’t bug me, okay?”

“Oh my god, I’m not,” Steve said; he had got ahold of Billy’s wrist somehow and was playin’ with his bracelet. Billy let him do it.

The overhead lights went out when the movie started. Billy felt pretty okay; he’d never got to see _The Thing_ in theaters. It’d came out about six months after his mom had died so he hadn’t really been in a movie-going mood, not that he’d had anyone to take him.

”OH MY GOD, DOES SOMETHING HAPPEN TO THE DOGS?” Steve said three minutes in.

“Just watch it.”

“Okay, but if there’s gonna be – “

“What’d I say?” Billy asked him.

Steve made a face and stuffed like twenty Junior Mints in his mouth.

Harrington didn’t really shut up during the movie not that Billy’d expected him too. “Oh, my GOD,” he said in varying tones of disgust every time the Thing showed up or popped outta someone; he was making Billy laugh too much.

Kurt Russell looked kinda okay or whatever too, even with the beard. He decided not to tell Harrington his thoughts about this.

Steve held his hand for a while; Billy figured it was okay for him to do that since it was dark out and they was in the car and all. It kinda sucked that they couldn’t make out like the couple in the Volvo in front of them but it was whatever. Harrington holding his hand was giving him the squirmy feeling again; it was like a river snake sliding around through his guts.

Billy ate his Skittles awkwardly with his right hand. Steve stared at him doing it; Billy nodded at the screen. “You’re missin’ like the best part.”

“Uh, I think I’m looking at it,” Steve said; Billy almost choked. Jesus God. Steve laughed at him and turned back to the screen. He was still holding Billy’s other hand.

Harrington let him drive the Beamer home and Billy felt happy. Once they got out of the city the roads were empty like usual and Billy put the pedal to the floor.”Oh, my god, okay,” Steve only said four times. “BILL, THAT WAS A YIELD SIGN!”

“There’s nothin’ to yield to,” Billy told him; Steve clutched his seat belt like a dramatic bitch.

He slowed down once they got back to Hawkins though. He didn’t need Hopper pulling them over and giving them a ticket, seeing Billy driving Steve’s car around or whatever. It wasn’t two in the morning this time though, only eleven (ha!).

“You should come in for a while,” Steve told him when they parked in the driveway so Billy did. Steve’s parents still weren’t home; Leia met them at the front door. Luke came loping in from the living room a couple seconds later lookin’ all guilty. “Weird, what were you doing?”

They went into the living room; Luke followed them with his ears down. Steve leaned against the back of the couch and looked at it. There was a lot of dog hair. “This? Is a crime scene,” Steve said all serious like a little dork.

Billy sat on the couch.

“Bill, you’re screwing up forensic evidence,” Steve told him; Billy pulled him on the couch and kissed him.

Steve kissed him back for a while. “So, this was, like, this was okay, right?” he said. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah, I had fun.”

“There’s a lot of stuff we can do in the city, you know they have the car races at the speedway,” Steve told him. “We can do the river walk, it’s not just couples so it wouldn’t be weird or whatever.” Billy wondered if they were a couple. “They have a lot of record stores, you’d like it. They have, like, this big conservatory, you can rent a telescope and look at stars and shit, I didn’t know if you’d wanna do that, it might be too romantic for you.”

“We can do that if you want,” Billy said. They kissed some more; Billy got him pinned against the back of the couch. He pulled back and looked at Steve.

“What?” Steve said. Jesus he had some big fucking eyes.

Billy licked his lips. “What’s your credit limit?” he asked.

Steve laughed.

 

* * *

 

Spring break sucked major ass.

Just because Harrington had taken him out and they’d had an okay time didn’t mean they didn’t get on each others’ fucking nerves half the time still; they got into two fights in pretty rapid succession and Billy spent most of the week pissed off and annoyed. Maybe Steve was on his fucking period or something.

Harrington came to his basketball game with the creepy kids on Monday; there was somethin’ cool about being in school when it wasn’t in session. Only about half the halls were lit up and there was way less teachers. Steve looked tired and annoyed all the way over on the bleachers; Billy wondered if he’d kept him out too late last night or something. Harrington wasn’t on break like Billy was. Probably had to talk to a million annoying people all day.

He followed Harrington to his house after to watch hockey; they got into a fight over the game like they usually did and then it turned into an actual fight fight somehow.

Billy told Harrington that he was stupid and Harrington really didn’t like that even though Billy told him the teams he rooted for were fuckin' stupid all the time. Steve told him to fuck off and he said it real mean. Billy didn’t really know how Steve could be sayin’ his romantic shit one night and then tell him to fuck off the next. Steve said oh, sorry, the whole world knew that Billy had a monopoly on mood swings; Billy told him he was a rich brat so Steve told him he was an annoying fucking baby.

“Get fucked, I’m not dealing with your bullshit tonight,” Billy said.

“Good, I DON’T WANT YOU TO DEAL WITH MY BULLSHIT!” Steve told him.

Billy shoved him hard and then slammed his front door harder and drove home. He slammed the front door there too and startled Maxine who was yapping away on the phone to someone, probably Sinclair. He glared at Max staring at him all bug-eyed.

“What’s up your butt?”

“Nothing,” Billy said and went to his room. There was nothing up his butt, DEFINITELY not Steve Harrington and he definitely never would fucking be! What a prick.

He laid on his bed in a big sulk and wondered what the fuck he’d done wrong between midnight and six pm. Maybe Steve had heard the rumors that he was bangin’ Angela Davis or some shit. Or maybe he’d just had a bad day; people had bad days all the time and it was whatever but Bill still felt like he’d done something wrong.

He felt restless and annoyed; he hated feeling that way. He smoked a couple cigarettes and wondered what he should do now that he’d fucked up the night with Harrington. It was spring break and Billy’d been invited to a party for about every night; he didn’t feel like going to a party though.

Jesus Christ Steve Harrington had gotten him all kinds of fucked up. He always wanted to go to a party. He should be at a million parties getting loaded off his ass, not cuddling on some asshole’s fancy couch watching _Crime Story_ while they talked their fucking head off. Steve was making him all soft and shit. Stupid fucking rich preppy pretty boy.

After a couple minutes he stopped feelin’ mad and just started feeling sulky. That was _his_ stupid fucking rich preppy pretty boy; didn’t really matter if Steve didn’t fucking know it. He probably shouldn’t have called Harrington stupid again. He guessed that was a thing with Harrington and he knew it; wasn’t like he meant it or whatever.

He got in his car and drove around for a long while; he finished his pack of smokes. There were a lot of cars on the road for a Monday night. He thought about going to the party at Brian-or-Brendan’s again but felt too shitty in four seconds. He didn’t like thinkin’ about Harrington alone and pissed off in his house all night, or pissed off all day at work the next day. That was way too much time for him to decide to change his mind about Billy.

He drove over to Steve’s house; it was past eleven and his parents’ cars were in the driveway so Billy had to fuckin’ ninja his way up the gutter again and climb up to Steve’s window. He didn’t make too much noise this time but Steve opened the window up right away. His pajamas were so dorky.

“Oh my god, I was fuckin’ terrified you were Dustin again,” he said. He pulled Billy into through the window and kissed him.

Billy hit his elbow on the dresser and tried not to make a face. “Sorry,” he said against Steve’s mouth like a little kid.

“Shut up,” Harrington said.

Harrington’s hand was too tight in his hair and Billy still felt annoyed. Steve had been in this weird bitchy mood for like a whole week now aside from Sunday; Billy didn’t know what he’d did to him. “You’re a rich brat,” he told Steve.

“You’re an annoying baby,” Steve said. He added, “Moody.”

“You’re fucking moody,” Billy said; Steve dragged him to the bed and kissed him. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying fucking sorry,” Steve told him all annoyed. He pushed him on the bed and Billy dragged him on top of him.

“Thought I did something to you.”

Steve paused for a second; he was in the middle of taking Billy’s shirt off so it was a great place to pause. “I – no, it’s whatever, it doesn’t matter.” He pulled Billy’s shirt off the rest of the way. He was making one of his unhappy squinty faces now. He said, “I, I had a really good time with you last night, I’m fucking it all up.”

“Yeah, you better watch yourself.”

Steve made another stupid face like he thought Billy’d actually fucking leave him ever. He said, “Shut up.”

“Look like a fuckin’ dork right now,” Billy told him; Steve was wearing a flannel shirt like a ninety-year-old man.

“Oh, my god, it’s cold out, shut the hell up.”

“Can you make me?” Billy asked him; Steve did. Billy crawled back out the window at three am all fucked up.

Tuesday he went into work during the day on account of no school. It was fun to be in the shop in the morning. Hank couldn’t really talk before he’d had four cups of coffee; Billy was gonna remember that. He didn’t start talkin’ Billy’s head off until nearly noon, and he bought him lunch too; that was real nice of him. Billy guessed Hank was pretty okay for a boss even though he never shut the fuck up.

Max had work too and she brought home a shitload of chocolate bunnies. Billy loved chocolate bunnies, especially if they was the marshmallow kind. They ate them on the couch and watched the Jeopardy marathon until Billy’s dad came home late at ten.

“Are you going to Brenda Farber’s party?” Max asked him; Billy didn’t know who that was.

“Nah.”

“Okay.” They played cards in his room 'til about two AM; Billy taught her how to play Texas Hold’em. Was way more fun with more than two people but it was fuckin’ two AM after all. “WHY DO YOU CHEAT?” Max asked him like she hadn’t just learned the game.

Wednesday he drove himself and Max to work at noon; they had time to kill so they stopped at the corner of Clearfield to give Beverly a ride with them. She got into the backseat and sat on the Patti Smith record Harrington’d given him and crushed it with her big fat ass; Billy yelled at her and Max yelled at her on principal (Max just liked fuckin’ yelling) and then Harrington yelled at him later that night when Billy told him about it.

Billy had no clue why the fuck he was gettin’ all worked up over a stupid record that was about ten years old. He also had no clue why he’d even told Harrington about it; he didn’t need to tell Steve about his whole fuckin’ day like he was Billy’s wife or some shit.

“It ain’t a big deal, I’ll buy your mom a new record or whatever,” Billy told him. They were at the diner again which was such a great place for Harrington to start fuckin’ going at him.

“That’s not the point, you’re so fucking careless with all your shit, it’s annoying,” Steve said like a den dad or Mr. Mom; it was probably the most Mr. Mom Billy’d seen him in a while.

“No I’m not.”

“Why’d you still even have it in your car, you didn’t have to take it if you didn’t want it.”

“I did want it,” Billy told him. “It’s been like three fuckin’ days, I got busy.”

“Okay, doing what?”

Billy didn’t feel the need to tell Steve he’d been watching _Scooby-Doo_ and eatin’ candy in his pajamas with Max for half the day again. “Don’t worry bout what I’m doing,” he said.

“OH, DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT!” Steve said all loud like a dramatic bitch; their usual tired waitress made a great face as she put their sodas down. “THANKS.”

“Why you gonna yell at the fuckin’ waitress?”

“I’M NOT YELL – I’m not yelling,” Steve said.

“Okay, is there a reason why you’re bein’ a bitch to me?” Billy asked him.

“I’m not being a bitch, you’re irresponsible.” Jesus he sounded like Billy’s fuckin’ dad or something.

“Whatever.”

“Whatever,” Steve echoed him.

Billy stared at him. “Man, why are you startin’ shit with me?”

“I’m not starting shit with you.”

“Why you care so much about a stupid record? I said I’d buy a new one.”

“Oh, my god, it’s not about the record, I don’t care about the record,” Steve said; he looked so annoyed and it was making Billy feel annoyed too. ”You know what, I don’t feel like doing this.”

“Okay,” said Billy.

Steve put his elbows on the table and ran his hands through his hair. He looked so annoyed; Billy didn’t know how he’d annoyed him so much in ten fuckin’ minutes. He’d kinda thought Harrington would laugh about Bev crushing the record. “Look, maybe we’re, uh, spending too much time together or something, I’m not – I don’t feel like fighting.”

Billy stared at him. “Okay,” he said.

Steve stared at him too. “Okay, so … ” he said like Billy was supposed to fucking do something.

“ _So_ , you leavin’ or what? I got shit to do.”

Harrington looked all incredulous over the fact that maybe Billy’s whole day didn’t revolve around him. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll leave.” He got up and threw his money down on the table. Billy watched him go.

Their waitress came back over; she had a big weird look on her face. “Do you need me to cancel your food, honey?”

Billy loved it when older ladies called you sweet shit like that. “Nah, can I get it to go?” he asked her; Max’d probably eat Steve’s burger if she was at home.

“Sure can,” said their waitress; one of these days Billy was definitely gonna remember her name. He left her a big tip like usual.

Billy’s old man had left to go back on the road; he had to go to Michigan and no one was too sad about him missin’ the holiday. Max was at home and she wanted Steve’s food.

“What happened, I thought you guys were actually hanging out for once,” she called from the kitchen; she was already leaning into the fridge getting a jar of pickles like a gross person.

“He left early.”

Max came back into the living room and made a face. “Why?”

“Maybe he had a date.” Billy watched her put her extra pickles on the burger.

Max made another face. “Whatever, Steve’s a total butthead,” she said in solidarity; Billy agreed with her. She ate two pickle slices out of the jar like a fuckin’ savage and sat down next to him on the couch.

“Don’t get too close to me with that shit,” Billy warned her. Max opened her mouth and showed him the pickle on her tongue. Billy slugged her. “You sick bitch!” Max cackled.

“So what are you doing tonight?” she asked him. “I can’t hang out with you, me and the guys are going to play with a Ouija board at Will’s house. Oh, you can come if you want.”

That sounded so scintillating. “I’m gonna go out,” Billy told her; he’d just decided. Rachel Evangelista was having a party and she’d invited him. Maybe her old boyfriend would be there and he could try to kick Billy’s ass.

“Okay, your loss,” Max said. She ate her burger.

Billy laid around on the couch and watched _Perfect Strangers_ while Maxine bounced around the house getting ready. “I don’t need a ride!” she told him.

“Whatever,” Billy said; he planned on being too loaded later to get her anyway.

Finally at quarter to nine she came out of her room holding her board. She was wearin’ her red Keds sneakers and shorts and what looked like about half a fucking tissue for a shirt; Billy snagged her board as she went by.

“Yeah, no, go get changed,” he told her.

Max stared at him holding her board. “Excuse me?”

“You look like one of them fuckin’ prostitutes offa Hollywood Boulevard, go put a shirt on.”

Max scowled at him. ”It’s a crop top, everyone at school wears them.”

“I don’t care what everyone at school does, your mom know you got that shit?”

“ _Ye_ _s_ _,_ so what?” lied Max unconvincingly. She tried to take her board; Billy sat on it. Max slugged him. “You can’t tell me what to wear!”

“Who’s been fuckin’ in charge of you for the last five years?” Billy asked her; Max scowled her head off and regenerated a new one. “I ain’t catchin’ shit from your mom if she sees you walkin’ around like that.”

“Oh, MY GOD, you are SUCH an asshole – “

“Walking around with half a goddamn shirt on, you’re gonna get thrown in a fuckin’ rape van – “

“Shut up, Billy! It’s not like we’re in OAKLAND or something!”

“Maxine, that’s racist!” Billy said in fake-shock; Max slugged him again.”Just go fucking get changed!”

Max’s face turned bright red. “YOU! ARE! A MISOGYNIST!” she yelled. “YOU SUCK!”

“Whatever.”

Max stormed off; he heard her slamming shit around in her room for about five minutes. Finally she came back out with her stupid George Michael shirt on. She held her arms out like she was on display; she was scowling. “Happy? Can I have my board?”

Billy gave her her board. “You suck,” Max reminded him. She stomped to the door and threw it open. “You know what, you _ass_ face? I’M _GLAD_ STEVE HAS A GIRLFRIEND, BECAUSE YOU’RE A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG, AND YOU’LL PROBABLY BE ALONE FOREVER!” Billy flipped her off; Max slammed the door.

He finished watching _Perfect Strangers_ and went to the party; the music sucked and they had crappy beer. Somehow he managed not to have sex with Rachel Evangelista again. Angela Davis brought her brother Malcolm over to him and Billy bought some weed off him. He got stoned with two guys from the basketball team and walked himself home alone like a sulky bitch at one am.

Thursday sucked with both Harrington and Max pissed at him. Billy worked half the day and looked at two apartments without Maxine; neither of them had dishwashers. He went to another party. This one had better beer and better music and he got stoned again; it was totally great and he didn’t even think about Harrington at all. That was a lie but Billy was real good at lying to himself. ‘Spending too much time together’ was code for ‘you annoy the fuck out of me’ and Billy knew it. He still didn’t really know what he’d did wrong though. Probably it was just him that was wrong like usual.

By Friday he was about sick of Max not talkin’ to him too. Fucking Christ he’d turned into such a pussy; this time last year he’d been in heaven with her not speaking to him. Either way she was one of only two people who knew his big queer secret and he kinda needed her on his side. Plus it was fuckin’ boring watching Jeopardy without her yelling out the wrong answers every five seconds.

He had work at two; he went and got Max her McDonald’s before he went in. She’d been working since the morning and she was sitting outside the general store on the bench bitchin’ her head off to Joyce Byers. They were both wearin’ their red work vests. Max stopped bitching and glared at him as he came up.

Joyce was smoking a cigarette and trying not to look guilty doing it. “Hey there, Billy,” she said.

“Hey.”

Max glared her head off at him. “What do _you_ want?”

“Got you McDonald’s.”

She took the bag and glared at it. “What, did you spit in it?”

Even though she was being a fucking bitch Billy was kinda getting a kick out of her. “Special sauce, kiddo,” he said; Max made a face like a demon.

“Ew!”

“I didn’t spit in it, asshole,” Billy told her. “Sorry I yelled at you.”

Maxine was already eating her Big Mac like a monster. ”I just took off my George Michael shirt as soon as I left the house,” she said.

“Ah, crop-topgate,” Joyce said wisely.

“Lucas didn’t like it anyway,” Max said; Billy’s head about fucking exploded.

“I gave her another shirt,” Joyce told him. Jesus God.

“I lied to you anyway too, Mom didn’t know I bought it and she would have kicked my butt,” Max told him too.

“Yeah I know you lied to me.”

“Would you have let me wear a crop top?” Max asked Joyce.

Joyce made a face. “Um, well, that’s not really my place to say. I have two boys, I don’t need to worry about that.”

“So are you still mad at me?” Max asked him around the eighteen fries she’d just shoved in her mouth.

“Guess not.”

“Sorry for what I said about Steve,” Max said; Billy really didn’t feel like talking about that in front of Mrs. Byers.

“Whatever.”

“Okay, well, do you want to watch _Unsolved Mysteries_ with me and Mom tonight? I taped two episodes.”

Billy thought about it; he was kinda tired of going to parties and getting stoned. It was no fun without Steve there laughing at him or the creepy kids screaming at him to stop being an asshole. He was gettin’ boring in his old age. “Yeah if you want.”

“Okay.” Max stared at him. “Do you want to hang out with us or something? We only have ten more minutes for lunch.”

Jesus God. “Thanks, I’m good,” Billy told her. “I gotta go to work.”

“Okay.”

At the shop Hank and his brother Miles were both in and Billy lamented his life. He tried hard not to look like he was lamenting his life. “What you doin’ here?” he asked Miles.

“Helping stock,” Miles said; he was sitting with his feet up on the counter reading one of the truck magazines. Hank was huffing back and forth putting away supplies that they’d gotten in; WD-40 and wiper fluid and shit like that.

“Some fuckin’ help,” Hank puffed. Billy watched him put the stuff on the shelves they had in the front. The shop would look way better if Hank’d just organize it a little different; Billy was putting off suggesting this until Hank made him fulltime. Could fit way more cars in the back too if you moved some shit around. Hank said, “Don’t worry, Bill, we ain’t gonna be around too long. We’s goin’ up to Pittsburgh to visit our mother for Easter, she lives out with our little sis.”

“Thought you guys were Jewish.”

“Non-practicing,” Miles told him. “Anyway our mother doesn’t remember that.”

“She’s got the dementia,” Hank put in.

“Oh.”

Miles spun around on the stool behind the counter like a gay little kid. “At this point she’s so far gone she doesn’t even remember she hates me for being a practicing faggot,” he said; Billy didn’t know what to say to that.

“You’re lucky you came in when you did, you just missed Miles’s pretty boyfriend _Christiano,_ ” Hank told him. He handed Billy a big cardboard box; it was more parts for the Jeep.

“That’s not his name,” Miles said. Hank laughed; Billy guessed that was some dumb shit they did.

Billy started unpacking the box on the counter. “What he come in here for?”

“He was away all week and, weird thing, he actually missed me,” Miles said. “You see when two people like each other, they actually like to spend time together. I’m not sure if you’ve liked anyone in your abused little life – ”

“Enough,” Hank told him.

Billy ignored the comment about his abused little life. “What, you guys live together?” he asked.

“Yes we do.” Miles sparkled like a fairy.

“They got a fancy condo out in Morrisville.”

Morrisville was pretty fancy. It was weird to think of two guys bein’ together and living together like that; they were talking about it like it wasn’t even some big thing. “Oh, okay,” said Billy. “How long you live together?”

“Four years?” Miles thought about it. “Since ‘83.”

“82,” Hank reminded him. “’You guys had that big fight at the Superbowl, I ‘member because the 49ers won.”

“Oh, right. That was fun. I still miss those curtains.”

“What happened to the curtains?” Billy asked; Miles laughed a lot.

Billy thought about it; he leaned on the counter. “So do you guys like screw around on each other and stuff?” he asked. He hadn’t really meant to ask it like that; he waited for Miles to get pissed.

He didn’t get pissed; he laughed his head off. “You watch too much MTV, you little shit,” he said. “It’s not all Studio 54 and drug orgies. Some of us are almost like real normal people.”

“Okay,” said Billy.

Miles sparkled away. “But sometimes it’s Studio 54 and orgies. You know, when I was a kid – ”

“All right, please,” Hank begged. “Can ya get up and help me so we can go?”

“ _No,_ I’m not ready to _go_ , this is the most Billy’s talked to me in a year,” Miles said all happy.

“I ain’t talkin’ to you,” Billy told him. He got his tools and went to the back. After about twenty minutes Hank and Miles came in to say bye to him.

“Lock up when you leave, Bill. No work on Monday, I ain’t comin’ back til the night.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be around next week if you have any more _questions,_ ” Miles told him. “Bye kid!” Hank left and Miles floated off after him; Billy rolled his eyes.

Hank had left one of his messy lists of shit for Billy to do; Billy fixed the brakes on an old station wagon and tuned up a Toyota and then kept working on the Jeep. Hank had left the radio on for him (POWER 99 of course) and Billy felt moody and annoyed listening to it and thinking about Harrington’s stupid face.

He thought about Harrington telling him he was irresponsible and felt like a piece of shit. He thought about saying _You’re missing the best part_ and Steve saying _Uh, I think I’m looking at it_ and felt like an even bigger piece of shit. Steve was such an asshole saying shit like that and makin’ Billy think he meant it or something.

Tina Turner was on the radio singing. “ _What’s love got to do with it?_ ” she asked; Billy didn’t know. “ _What’s love, but a secondhand emotion?_ ” she asked; Billy thought that was about right. Shit.

Finally at past nine he got himself together and stopped listening to shitty love songs on the radio. He cleaned up and put his tools away. He didn’t want to catch hell from Max for forgetting about _Unsolved Mysteries_. He thought about driving to Harrington’s anyway but didn’t; he didn’t need to be some needy faggot running over there all the time sayin’ sorry when he hadn’t even done shit. Anyway Steve probably wasn’t home now. It was Easter weekend after all.

At the house Max and Susan were home from work and they were sittin’ around on the couch having girl talk; they both looked up when he came in.

“Did you eat dinner?” Susan asked him. “I made baked ziti if you’re hungry.”

Billy tried not to shudder; he knew what Susan’s baked ziti was like. “I ate already, thanks,” he lied.

“I got you more discount candy, are you still gonna watch the show with us?” Max asked him.

“Yeah, lemme shower,” Billy said; it was a real exciting night. Really it was okay.

 

Saturday Max had work; she woke him up early bugging the shit out of him. “You’re still going to help me cook tomorrow, right?” She was all excited about Neil being out of the house; she said it was gonna be their best holiday in five years. She had a big list of crap she had to buy at the grocery store.

Billy put his pillow over his head. “Yeah, whatever.”

“We _have_ to be in the kitchen by ten AM, we have to intercept Mom or she’s gonna start burning everything.”

“Oh my god, okay, leave me alone,” Billy begged her; it was barely ten now.

“Ugh! You’re so lazy!” Max yapped. She threw a t-shirt at him. “Ten am! I’m working all day, don’t forget!”

Billy didn’t have work so he kept layin’ in bed. Eventually he got dressed and ate cereal and then laid around on the couch until past noon. He felt like a sulky bitch thinking of a whole weekend without Steve; he didn’t need to be thinking about Steve.

He needed a pack of cigs so he went down to the general store to get some. Joyce Byers was working the register like she usually was.

“You should really think about quitting,” she said like she didn’t light up like a chimney. She looked real pretty today. “Sorry, I have to say that, it’s a Mom thing. I think the boys are at the arcade if you wanted to stop in.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Billy said; he didn’t really care about the arcade. Either way he had to walk past it back to his car. Will and Sinclair were inside near the big window; Will looked up and waved at him so Billy went in.

“Hey, you didn’t get murdered?” he asked; Sinclair was already rolling his eyes.

“I almost did. Mom let me off punishment way early, I think she feels bad because it’s Easter,” Wills told him. “No one’s really around though, it’s totally sucked.”

“Thanks, what am I, chopped liver?” Sinclair asked.

“You know what I mean.” Will looked at Billy. “Do you want to hang out with us?”

“Guess I can for a while.”

Sinclair sighed like he was being tortured. He was such a prize. Will coached Billy at Missile Command and he and Sinclair told Billy about playing with the stupid Ouija board at Will’s house on Wednesday; that was what the creepy kids had done instead of goin’ to the spring dance. Billy had named them well.

“Okay, did ya make contact?” Billy asked them.

“Not really.”

“We almost did, but it was just Nancy and Jonathan trying to scare us,” Will said.

Huh. “They back together?”

Sinclair made a face. “Who knows.”

They watched Billy be bad at video games for a couple more minutes, then Sinclair said he had to go. “I can’t take this, you are _too_ terrible, man,” he said. “I have to babysit Erica at three.” Billy didn’t know who that was.

“Okay, see you!” said Will. He looked at Billy again. “Do you have to go too?”

Truly Billy had jack shit to do. “Nah,” he said; Will looked like a happy little Beatle.

“Okay, we can play Dragon’s Lair again, you were … not that bad at that,” he lied.

Billy got change for a five and they fed their quarters into the game. He bought Will a soda. “Thanks,” Will said all shy. He fidgeted and watched Billy be bad at the game. “Hey, Billy?” he said.

“Yeah?” Billy said and died in the game. He moved to the side so Will could take over.

“Um … “ Will chewed his lip and fiddled with the controller; he had to choose his character. “Um, so … do you remember when you said you’d take me to see _Hellraiser?_ ”

Billy didn’t really remember and he had to think about it for a couple seconds. Then he did remember. Back in February on his birthday; Will had got him that cool poster and shit. “Yeah, sure.”

“So, you – you like horror movies, right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Billy said again.

“Okay.” Will chewed his lip some more and looked at the game. “Well, they’re playing a marathon of _Friday the 13_ _th_ movies at the Riverview over in South Bend, and I thought of you. Would you, would you … wanttogotothatwithme?”

Billy took a couple seconds to decode the Will-speak. “Oh, yeah, okay. Sure. Me’n Max love that shit, I’ll take you guys.”

Will stared at him and died in the game; his eyes were real big for some reason. “Uh. Right. You and Max. That’s, that’s what I meant.” He was so weird.

“You just wiped out,” Billy pointed out. He didn’t even get far.

“Oh, right.”

“You can have my turn. You want another soda?”

“Um, sure,” Will said. Billy clapped him on the back; Will died in the game again.

“Shit, kid,” Billy said. Will laughed.

Billy drank his soda and watched Will play Dragon’s Lair. The movies were next month on a Friday on account of it being Friday the 13th. Will got pretty far in the game and Billy was kind of getting a kick out of him. “Bet ya can’t kill all those guys before the quarter runs out.”

” _Please_ ,” Wills said. Haha!

Someone knocked on the big window near them. Billy looked up and then wished he hadn’t; it was Harrington staring at him.

Billy drank his soda and stared at him. Steve was wearing a brown shirt and he had new amazing glasses on; he was walking Luke and Leia. He mouthed all exaggeratedly: “Can I talk to you?”

Billy drank his soda some more. He looked at Harrington. Harrington rolled his eyes and knocked on the window again, a little too emphatically for Billy’s tastes. Billy drank even more soda.

“Um, maybe you should see what he wants,” Will said tactfully.

 _I don’t wanna!_ Billy felt like saying like an annoying baby. Apparently that’s what he was. “I guess,” he said. “I’ll be back.” He clapped the kid on the shoulder again; Will pretended to almost fall over. He was a trip.

Billy went outside to the parking lot; Luke and Leia skittered everywhere and dragged Steve over to him. “Uh, hey, hi,” Steve said. His hair looked about 40% less big; he’d gotten a haircut and he looked like a preppy dork. Billy was into it not that that mattered. Harrington had been such a fuckface this week.

“What do you want?” Billy asked him.

“Uh, nothing, I guess,” Steve said. Billy hated it when he said ‘uh’ eighty times like a little kid. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I ain’t mad,” Billy said; he didn’t know why he’d said that. He wasn’t mad but Harrington didn’t need to know it. He’d stopped being mad on Wednesday night and now he just felt like a sad depressed fuck.

“I called you twice,” Steve told him. “Before.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“Uh, you weren’t home I guess.”

“Guess not.”

“Your stepmom said you were out.”

Billy sighed; he wondered how long they were gonna do this and what Harrington wanted. “Do you want somethin’?”

Steve twisted his mouth to the side for a second. “Yeah, I wanted to apologize,” he said.

“Okay,” Billy said. “For what?”

“Uh, for overreacting and saying all that shit to you?” Steve said; he was kind of mumbling and he was lookin’ down at the dogs and not at Billy. “For being an asshole?”

“Yeah, you are an asshole,” Billy told him.

“I know, I’m sorry. I guess I’ve been kind of a dick to you lately. Which is, yanno, dangerous and all.”

No shit. ”Did I do somethin’ to you?” He fucking hated himself for asking that; sounded like a needy baby.

“No, you didn’t do anything. Sorry.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “So what, you don’t wanna see me anymore or something?”

Steve looked real surprised. “No, I do. I just – uh – I’m not really in a good, uh, it’s stupid. I haven’t been in a good mood, I didn’t want you around me when I felt like bein’ an asshole. Sorry.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

Steve was wrapping the dogs’ leashes around his wrist. “So do you wanna do something?” he asked in a weird voice.

“Ah,” Billy said; he looked back at the arcade. “Yeah, ah, I just – “

“Um, we don’t have to,” Steve said still in the weird voice.

Billy put his hands in his pocket. “No, it’s just, I uh. We just put like five bucks in the game,” he muttered.

Steve laughed at him. “Oh, okay,” he said. “Okay, what about later? You can come over and we could talk some more or whatever.”

Shit did Billy love talking. Not really. “I guess,” he said.

“Okay.”

“I gotta go back in,” Billy told him.

“Okay,” Steve said.

“Later.”

“Okay,” Steve said. He watched Billy go back into the arcade.

Will was still playing Dragon’s Lair; he looked up and died when he saw Billy. “Do you have to go now?” he asked; even Wills knew that Harrington was Billy’s fuckin’ keeper.

“Nah, the warden’s letting me stay out,” Billy said.

“Okay.” Will looked happy.

They played until their quarters ran out, about an hour, then Will squished his bike in the backseat of the Camaro and Billy drove him home. Will played around with the radio and got The Who singin’ ‘Circles’ on the classic rock station.

“This is a sexy record,” Billy told him.

Will laughed and made a weird face. “Um, if you say so,” he said.

Billy parked in front of his house. Will got out and got his bike; he came over to Billy’s window all shy. “Thanks for the ride,” he said. He tapped at Billy’s arm like a gentle fairy. “Don’t forget about the movies, okay?”

“Yeah, I won’t,” Billy said. He probably would; he didn’t mean to. He’d have to tell Maxine tonight or tomorrow or whenever so she’d remember.

He drove himself home and took another shower; when he got out it was past seven and Max was home from work. He laid around and watched TV with her for awhile. Harrington could wait for him.

Max made him mac and cheese; she was all apologetic and shit. “We’re goin’ to the movies with Byers next month, don’t forget,” Billy told her.

Max made a face. “Who, Jonathan?”

“Oh my god, you fuckin’ asshole.” Max laughed.

“Wait, Will asked you to the movies?”

“Yeah, me and you. So what?”

She had a weird expression on her face; maybe she didn’t like Billy talking to her friends that much or something. “Nothing.”

“Okay, I’m goin’ out,” Billy told her.

“Stacy Houser’s party?” Max asked without looking up from the TV.

Billy didn’t know who that was. “Sure,” he lied.

 

He drove himself over to Harrington’s. Steve was the only one there which Billy thought was weird; it was a holiday and all. Steve let him in and they sat on the couch. Luke and Leia were outside so Billy didn’t have anything to distract himself with and he felt even weirder.

They sat there not talking for a couple seconds. Steve chewed his lip and scratched his eyebrow; he was fidgeting like a kid. Billy wondered if he was about to get dumped or something.

“What you wanna do?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” They sat some more. “So did I like totally screw it up with you?” Steve asked in a weird voice.

Oh. “Guess not,” said Billy; Steve looked at him. ”What, I’m here, ain’t I?”

“I’m really sorry,” Steve said. He was still fidgeting away, “I, you know, I wanted to be like this person that you could come to if you needed something, but I’ve just – “

He made Billy feel uncomfortable as fuck with all his emotional shit. “What, like money?”

“Oh my god, no, not like money! Well, I mean, I guess if you needed it – okay, that’s not the point!” Steve said. ”I’m trying to apologize to you, I was a giant shithead all week.”

“Yeah, you screwed up my spring break,” Billy told him.

Steve looked all sad and shit. “Sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Steve twisted his mouth up. “Yeah, unfortunately I, I kinda care about you and all, so it does matter.”

Jesus. “Okay,” Billy said.

“Do you want to punch me or something?”

Billy thought about it; it might feel good. “I guess not.”

“Okay.”

“Why’d you get so mad about a stupid record?” Billy asked him. “I said I’d just buy you another one.”

Steve rolled his eyes.”Oh my god, dumbass, you don’t need to get me the damn record, I frickin’ bought it for you, okay?” he said all annoyed.

Billy stared at him.

“What?” Steve said. “Look, I didn’t like buy you a present for goin’ out with me or something, I just bought it. You looked all – freaked out so I just lied and said it was my mom’s. It’s not like it was a signed copy or whatever, I got it for like three bucks.”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“It’s not a big deal. I don’t know if I’m allowed to buy you shit or whatever.”

“You can buy me shit,” Billy said real nice; Steve laughed. “That why you were mad at me?”

“I wasn’t mad at you, I’m just being a baby. It doesn’t matter.”

“Okay.” Harrington made no sense and Billy didn’t know what to say. “So what you been up to?”

“Nothing,” Steve said. ”I heard you went to some parties, did you have fun?” He didn’t really sound like he was being a prick.

“How’d you hear about that?” Billy asked. Steve gave him a look; that probably meant Henderson. ”What, am I not allowed to do that?”

“You can do whatever you want, I know you’ve got - school and friends and stuff,” Steve told him.

“Okay,” said Billy.

Steve chewed on his lip; he was looking at his hands in his lap. “So did you have fun at Rachel’s house?” he asked in the weird voice again.

“I guess.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Did you … sleep with her?” He didn’t even sound pissed.

“Screw you,” Billy told him.

“I’m just asking!” Steve said. “What, I can’t ask you shit?”

He guessed that was fair. “I didn’t sleep with her, asshole.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I didn’t do shit with anybody.”

“Okay.”

“Thought we just went out on a fuckin’ date, why you askin’ me that shit?”

“Sorry,” Steve said. “I didn’t know.”

Billy still felt annoyed. “What the hell’s been going with you?”

“Nothing, I don’t know,” Steve said in a dismissive tone. “It’s not – okay, look, I don’t want to tell you, you’ll make fun of me.”

“Try me,” Billy said; even though he felt annoyed he did feel kinda okay too now that Harrington probably wasn’t going to dump him. Steve gave him another look. “What, I won’t make fun of you.” Steve gave him a third look. “Okay, I might say two things.”

Steve laughed a little and rolled his eyes. He picked up a pillow from the couch and looked at it. “No, it’s really stupid, It doesn’t have anything to do with you, sorry. I’m just being a little bitch.” Somehow Billy managed not to make a comment. “Actually, actually it doesn’t matter at all, I’m not – ”

“Harrington.”

“Okay, okay, jeez,” Steve said like a little dork. “So I – whatever, you remember back in December when I applied to all those schools?”

Billy stared blankly. “I guess?”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been hearing back from them, I didn’t get in, like, anywhere. Again. So I just feel like a total asshole. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Billy stared some more. He felt like saying _That’s it?_ and decided that probably wasn’t the best thing he could say. “When’d you find that out?”

“Uh, I got uh, got a rejection letter last week, got a couple on, like, Monday I guess,” Steve said; suddenly a lot of shit made sense to Billy. “Sorry to inform you, thank you for your application, you know, all the shit. Uh, didn’t get into Huntingdon, didn’t really get in anywhere. Well, I guess that’s not true, I got into fuckin’ Michigan State, that was like my safety school.”

“Pretty far away from me,” Billy told him without meaning to; Steve made a face. "That where you wanna go?"

“No, I - okay, well, this was like, this was like six months ago, you didn’t exactly factor in then,” Harrington said. “I don’t, I mean I don’t even know what you’re doing once summer comes anyway.”

Billy didn’t really know what he meant. “Moving the fuck out of my house, I guess.”

“Oh, right,” Steve said in another weird voice. He was still holding the pillow and looking at it. Billy guessed it was so interesting. “Yeah, I kinda figured you would.” He twisted his mouth up at the pillow; he had his eyebrows raised. “So like … are you going back to California I guess?”

Billy stared at him; he didn’t know why Max and Harrington both thought he was so eager to fuck off on them in two seconds. He licked his lips and looked at him some more. “Thought I’d get a place around here.”

“What, really?” Steve looked up all surprised. Jesus Christ.

“Can’t leave Max with my old man.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, I didn’t know,” Steve said. He made another face. “So, you’re … gonna stay here?”

“Yeah, for a while.”

“Okay, right. So you ... would you still want to – do, uh, this?” Steve made a stupid hand gesture between the two of them.

Billy couldn’t help it; he had to be a prick. “What’s _uh, this?_ ” He imitated the motion.

Steve rolled his eyes all annoyed. “You and me, asshole.”

“Yeah, if you stop bein’ a prick to me.”

“Oh, okay.” Harrington looked really embarrassed; Billy didn’t need him looking like that. “Sorry, I just, I didn't – “

“You’re like half the reason why I wanna get a place.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve said again; he looked a little happier. “You know, I was thinking before I, like, should probably move out too, like eventually – ”

“Hell no, I want you to stay in your fancy house for as long as possible,” Billy told him; Steve laughed.

“I just mean, I mean, if I’m gonna be a fuckin’ loser and not go to college or anything – “ Steve made a face. “I mean, okay, not that you’re a fuckin’ loser – “

“So good with your words lately, man,” Billy told him. “You know that shit don’t matter, right?”

“Uh, it matters to me, for me – “

“Why’d you apply to all those fancy places anyway?” Billy remembered pokin’ through his applications in like December and Steve smacking him; they wasn’t like Ivy League schools or anything but they were pretty nice. He didn’t know for sure but he hadn’t really thought Harrington had the grades for that.

“I don’t know, because my dad said we’d have to buy my way in?” Steve shrugged. “And I wanted to prove him wrong, obviously that didn’t work. I thought I could get in for sports or something, I didn’t even play basketball senior year though.”

Billy wondered if that was his fault. Steve looked all sad and shit; Billy drug him closer to him on the couch and pulled him onto his lap. Steve looked at him like a sulky bitch so Billy put his arm around his waist. “Man, why don’t you just go to junior college or something? Or Indiana State, you could get in there.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so. I thought about that. Uh, I dunno, you read that essay I wrote, I probably can’t even get in anywhere,” Steve said; Billy almost managed not to make a face. “It’s okay, I know I’m too fucking stupid.” He rolled his eyes like he knew he was being dramatic.

“You’re not stupid, stupid,” Billy told him. He put a hand in Steve’s hair so Steve put his hand on the back of Billy’s neck. “You don’t gotta be good at everything.”

“Thanks, I know that.”

“I’m taking fuckin’ retard sophomore-level math, am I stupid?”

“That’s different, you’re – “

“What do you wanna do anyway?”

“Uh, I dunno. That’s why it’s so stupid, I don’t even – “

“You can get into State easy, I’ll write your paper for ya,” Billy talked over him; Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, you don’t have to do that.“

“Go to school in Indianapolis or whatever, figure out what you wanna do.”

Steve was making one of his squinty faces. “It’s too late for that, I’d have to wait another year – “

“Nah, start in January or whenever they go.”

“I guess so.” Steve looked at him; he looked real good with the new glasses.

“Can do that, still hang out with me if you want.”

“Yeah, I do want,” Steve said. He looked at Billy some more; Billy wondered if they was having a moment or some shit.

“You don’t gotta feel bad, you can do whatever you want,” Billy told him.

Steve rolled his eyes and smiled. “You sound like my mom,” he said.

Billy ignored the insult. “I’m serious, shithead.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve said. “I know. I know. God, you just made everything sound so simple in like a minute.”

“Gotta use your words, man,” Billy told him. Steve laughed. “I can’t believe you got all fucked up about college, you got time to figure it out.”

“I guess.”

“Your dad say some shit to you or something?”

“He always says shit to me,” Steve said dismissively. “It’s not that bad, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Can if you want.”

“Uh, no, that’s okay,” Steve said. He was weird about his dad. “Thanks, Bill.”

“How do you wanna thank me?” Billy asked; Steve rolled his eyes and ignored him.

“So we’re like okay, right?”

“Guess so.”

“You’re not still mad at me?”

Jesus Harrington could fucking pout with just his eyes; Billy didn’t know why Steve thought that shit would work on him. “Whatever I wasn’t even mad,” he muttered. Steve didn’t need to know about him listening to Tina Turner at work in a big sulk.

“Okay!” said Steve. “Hey, so do you … wanna make out?”

Billy gave him a look. “Why do you think I came over here?”

 

They didn’t hook up like crazy like usual which was weird. They made out for a while and then watched some stupid movie on the TV. Steve laid on Billy and made him hold his hand; he was so fuckin’ needy.

Anyway Billy didn’t mind. He’d missed Harrington and he’d missed lying around on his fancy couches with him. He thought he was getting better at the touching thing.

When the movie ended it was twelve-thirty; Steve sat up when an infomercial started playing too loud.

Billy sat up too.”Guess I should go.”

“You can stay here if you want,” Steve said; he made a face after like he hadn’t meant to say it.

Either way Billy didn’t really think that was a good idea. “Aren’t your parents coming home?”

“Nope. They’re at my dad’s family’s for Easter, they switch off every year.”

“Why didn’t you go with ‘em?”

“Because my dad’s family is a bunch of rich assholes,” Steve told him.

“Sounds like your people,” Billy said; Steve rolled his eyes.

“No, they’re uh, they’re like these, these racist, homophobic jerks,” Steve said. “I, uh, you know, I didn’t really feel like being around that this year.”

“Oh. Right.” He didn’t know what he was supposed to say to that.

Steve looked weird too. ”Uh, I just - “

“I can’t stay though, I’m supposed to help Max in the morning.”

“Oh, okay.” Steve looked all sad and shit. “Right, okay. That’s fine. I’ll walk you out.”

Steve walked him out; somehow they managed not to kiss at the door like in a Lifetime movie. Billy got to his car and started it up. It was cold out for April. He stared at Steve standing on the front steps as he put the Camaro in drive.

He smoked a cigarette on the way to Main Street; it was almost one am but he didn’t see Hopper’s police Jeep lurking anywhere. As usual the town was totally dead; the Camaro was the only car on the roads. He got all the way to Clearfield before he decided he was being a dumb piece of shit.

He parked the car on the corner and smoked another cigarette and thought about why he was being a dumb piece of shit. He turned the car around and drove back to Steve’s.

He’d only been gone about twenty minutes but all the lights were out at Harrington’s already. Billy banged on the front door; felt like Molly Ringwald or some shit.

After a minute the front light turned on and Steve opened up the door and stared at him. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and Billy rejoiced. “Uh, I changed my mind,” he said. “S’it okay if I still – “

Steve pulled him in through the door before he finished and kissed him; he tasted like toothpaste. “I was asleep, asshole.”

“No you weren’t.”

“Uh, I could have been.” He followed Harrington up the steps; felt like he was in some shitty romance movie but gayer. “I have an extra toothbrush if you want it,” Steve said; Billy wondered if that was a hint.

“Okay.”

Steve flopped on his bed like a coma patient. He had his little TV on on mute. “It’s the blue one.”

“Okay,” Billy said again. He went into Harrington’s fancy bathroom and brushed his teeth. He had some ritzy toothpaste that Billy’d never heard of. He came back out to Steve’s room and started takin’ his clothes off; it sucked to sleep in jeans. Steve stared at him so Billy threw his t-shirt at his head. “You don’t gotta fuckin’ watch me,” he said; Steve laughed.

“I thought you liked showing off.”

“I’m too tired for that shit,” Billy told him. He laid down on Steve’s little bed next to him; in two seconds he found out Harrington was a blanket hog. _Smokey and the Bandit_ was on on the TV and it made Billy laugh even though there was no sound.

“Oh my god, you frickin’ dork,” Steve mumbled against his shoulder. He was almost asleep and had Billy squished up by the wall. With great restraint Billy managed not to pinch him.

“Where’s your remote?” he asked him.

“Mm?” Steve said; he was totally useless. Billy leaned over him and took it from off the end table. Once the movie ended he turned the TV off and tossed the remote on the floor; Steve threw his arm over Billy’s chest. It felt kinda nice so Billy let him keep it there. In a minute he’d move him.

He woke up a little past four; Harrington was shifting around everywhere like a crazy person. Billy sat up and looked at him. Steve’s whole face was scrunched up like he was in pain or something and he was breathing weird. It was almost scary. Billy wondered if he had night terrors or something; he’d used to get them as a little kid.

Harrington’s whole body shuddered which was pretty freaky. Billy put his hand on his shoulder. Maybe you weren’t supposed to wake people up when they was having nightmares. He thought that was sleepwalkers though. Wasn't sure. “Steve,” he said.

“Mmmmm,” said Harrington like a zombie.

“Steve,” he said again; he shook Harrington’s shoulder again. Steve opened his eyes wide and slugged Billy in the face. “WHAT THE FUCK!” Billy said and grabbed his nose.

Steve sat up real fast like a crazy person. “WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED,” he said. “Billy?” he said like he was surprised.

“Who the fuck else would it be,” Billy said through his hands.

“What happened?”

“Uh, you fuckin’ slugged me.”

“What? Oh, shit.” Steve’s whole face crumpled; in the dark he looked like a little kid. “Oh, my god, sorry. Sorry, I wasn’t – “

“S’okay,” Billy muttered. Harrington hadn’t hit him that hard, just surprised him. “You were havin’ a dream or something.”

“Oh, my god, sorry,” Steve said again. He sounded real embarrassed. “Sorry, I – that doesn’t really happen anymore – “

“S’okay.”

“This is so great, I’m sorry.”

Billy flopped back down and looked up at him. “What were you dreaming about?”

“What? Uh, I don’t remember,” Steve lied.

“Monster?” Billy tried.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Me beatin’ on you?”

Steve laughed. “Uh, no, not that either.”

“Your bad haircut.”

“Screw you,” Steve said. He laid down too on his stomach and ran his hand through his dorky hair. “I don’t really remember. Uh, some old guy. And there was a little girl.”

“Sounds sexy.”

“It really wasn’t. They were looking for someone.”

“I didn’t think you really had nightmares anymore.”

“Surprise,” Steve said. “Uh, sorry, it’s usually not that bad. Just the normal shit.”

“Oh, everybody dyin’?”

Steve looked tired and unhappy so Billy put his arm around him. “I guess,” he said. He closed his eyes with Billy touching his back. “I’m just glad I didn’t dream about El and her mom again, that shit is too sad for me.”

“Hahahaha,” Billy said. “Funny you bring them up.”

Steve’s eyes popped open again. “What?” he said. “WHAT?” he said when Billy told him he and the kid were going next week. “Uh, WHY? Are you going to DO THAT?”

Goddamn Billy knew Harrington would be the kinda person who popped you in the face at four am and then yelled at you after. “We talked 'bout about this, man.”

“No, we didn’t, you didn’t say when you were actually going. I don’t, I don’t like, yeah, I don’t want you to do that.”

Billy wondered if Harrington actually thought he was Billy's keeper; somehow he managed not to make a comment. “The chief’ll be there.”

“Oh, that’s so great, I mean everything is ALWAYS under control when he’s around.” Billy didn’t know about it so he didn’t answer. Steve said, “Okay, I mean, do you really want to get involved in her freaky family?”

“I’m not gettin' involved, I’m giving her a ride,” Billy told him.

Steve rubbed his eyes. They were still laying down looking at each other and it was making Billy feel pretty weird. Uncomfortable. “Okay,” he said in his tight voice like Billy was giving him a migraine. “Look, I know you think you guys have some - bond or whatever because she, like, rooted around in your head one day – ”

“Okay, she didn’t do that.“

“But, uh, yeah, shit has this way of going massively wrong when she’s around, so – “

Billy stared at him. “Thought all that shit was like a year ago.”

“Yeah, a whole year, it’s been so much fun waiting for the next fucking thing to go totally apeshit.“

“I thought you liked the kid,” Billy said. “You don’t like her?” Steve stared at him. “HARRINGTON, WE ATE CHINESE FOOD WITH HER!” Billy said in an outrage.

“Oh, my god, of course I like her, she’s a kid,” Steve said. “Look, I’m just saying, none of this shit ever happened before she showed up – “

“That’s not her fault,” Billy said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I KNOW THAT, I’m just saying.”

“Stop yellin’ at me.”

“I’M NOT YELLING,” Steve said. “Look, you weren’t here last year, you don’t – know everything, you think you know everything. People died, Bill.”

“I know that – “

“No, and the fucking government came after us, you think there’s not still people trying to get her? You know they fucking – “ Steve stopped and looked all crazy; he chewed his lip. “You know, when Mrs. Byers got Will back, it was the huge thing. The FBI, they came to like all our houses, they – you know, they made me and my parents go with them, they made me sign like a million papers sayin’ I wasn’t gonna tell anybody what I saw. They can do whatever they want.”

That was new information. “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

Steve ignored him. “They, you know, like, they made up some big story about, like, me and the Wheelers and, and Jonathan Byers trespassing near their stupid lab, my parents almost killed me, you know my mom and I fought like the whole time I was dating Nancy? She thought she was a bad influence!”

Billy felt happy. He had known Mrs. Harrington was so smart. Probably he shouldn’t say that right now though. “You didn’t tell me that before,” he said again.

“Well, it’s not – it’s not like a PLEASANT MEMORY – “

“Can you stop screa – “

“Oh, my god, sorry, Jesus,” Steve said all annoyed. “They threatened like my whole family, you think people like that just go away because their stupid experiment got shut down? I like Eleven, but it’s way more than her, man. You don’t need to get into it.”

“Mm, I think I already am.”

Steve looked really annoyed. He closed his eyes and didn’t say anything for a while; Billy wondered if he’d just gone back to sleep. Then Steve opened his eyes and said, “Okay, I think I should go with you guys.”

“Nope,” Billy said right away. “Hopper already thinks we’re screwing.”

“Technically we aren’t actually screwing, can you wait another week?” Billy stared at him. “What, he doesn’t know anything.”

“Uh, yeah, I think he knows, man.“

Screwing or not aside, Billy didn’t really know why Harrington didn’t seem to care that much about them getting caught. He was like a little kid or something with the way he thought; Billy didn’t feel like dealing with that right now.

Steve closed his eyes again. “Okay, so he shouldn’t have a problem with me going then.”

Jesus Christ. “What, you gonna protect me?”

“I don’t know, probably not. If something happens I’ll probably just scream a lot, I’m good at that.”

“Nothin’s gonna happen to you,” Billy told him.

“It’s not really me I’m worried about,” Steve said like a crazy person.

“You need to stop thinking about that shit, man.”

Steve laughed like Billy was being funny. “Uh, you don’t even know,” he said.

“What’s that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s over anyway,” Billy told him.

“Yeah, well, if something happened to you and I wasn’t – “

“Nothing’s gonna happen, I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He felt real gay in two seconds.

“Do you mean that?” Steve asked like they was in a Lifetime movie. Jesus Christ.

“I guess,” Billy said.

“You’re so romantic, I can’t take it,” Steve said; Billy laughed. Steve buried his face in the crook of Billy’s arm. Billy was pretty sure he’d remembered to put deodorant on today. “I’m so tired,” he said. “We don’t usually talk this much.”

“I know. Go to sleep.”

“Sorry I hit you.”

“Eh, doesn’t count.”

“Mm,” Steve said. Billy ran his hand down his back. “You’re getting good at the cuddling thing,” Steve told him.

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

“Mm,” said Steve. “Hey, what was the worst dream you ever had?”

Jesus he wanted to do pillow talk. Billy thought about it. He said, “You ‘member what we talked about before with the Ewoks?”

Steve started laughing. “Shut up,” he said.

“Go to sleep, you’re annoying me.”

“Okay,” said Steve.

 

Billy woke up again at past seven; he thought he really should go. He ran his hand down Steve’s back and over his neck until he woke up. Steve’s back was real pretty, not even in a sexy way and not like a girl. He just looked good. Steve woke up and rolled over and crushed him with his huge boner. Billy got hard too because it was the morning and he was in Harrington’s bed.

“I gotta go,” he said.

“Hm? Okay,” Steve mumbled. He buried his face against Billy’s neck and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Billy laid there for a while feelin’ him. Finally he opened his eyes again. “Harrington,” he said; Steve ignored him. “Steve. I gotta go.”

“Hm? Okay,” Steve mumbled again; Billy needed to remember he barely talked before seven-thirty. He flipped Steve over and kissed him. Morning breath was a thing but it wasn’t that bad. Steve smiled against his mouth.

They kissed for a couple minutes; Billy’d never really woken up with someone before. Steve’s body was broad and heavy beneath his. They were both just in their underwear and it felt different that way; you could feel everything. Steve gripped at Billy’s shoulders and muttered against his mouth when Billy climbed on top of him. “Fuck,” he said. “I really missed you.”

He was already starting with his romantic shit. “Uh-huh.” Billy kissed him some more. Steve grabbed his ass a lot which was a new thing; Billy didn’t mind it.

Steve got his hand between them and pulled his pajamas off and then Billy’s boxers. He wrapped his hand around both their cocks; Billy groaned against his mouth and thrust down against him. “Yeah, that’s nice,” Steve said. “Like that.” Holy shit; he made Billy's whole body shake. He reached up with his other hand and pulled Billy down to kiss him again.

He held himself up above Harrington and kissed him; they were gettin’ kinda sloppy. Steve kept working his hand over both of them. It was only gonna take about a minute; they hadn’t hooked up all week.

“That’s good,” Steve told him. “Do you like that?”

“Uh-huh,” Billy managed; Steve laughed at him. “Sorry, I’m gonna come on you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I want,” Steve said.

Holy shit. Billy came on him. Somewhere in there Steve came too and it was good. Billy flopped down on him once they were done. “EW, NO!” Steve laughed. “Oh my god, go away.”

“Can’t.” Billy rolled off him anyway. They laid there for a while; once Billy’s heart started beatin’ like normal he turned and started kissing on Steve some more. “I really gotta go.”

Steve didn’t seem real concerned. “Okay.”

“I’m serious, I gotta help Max at ten.”

“With what?”

“Told her I’d help her cook,” Billy said; Steve started smiling. “SCREW YOU, at least I can fucking cook something.”

“Shut up, I can make like six things now.”

“Frozen pizza don’t count.”

“Five things,” Steve conceded.

Billy got up and got dressed; Steve was flopped out on the bed like a dead starfish. “Call me later?” he said.

“Yeah, I’ll call you.” Billy put his shirt on. “See ya.”

Steve stared at him like a dramatic bitch. “What?” Billy said. Steve stared at him some more. “Oh, my fuckin’ god.” He climbed back on the bed and kissed him.

“Okay, you can go.” Steve waved his hand.

Jesus Christ. “Bye,” Billy said.

It was only past nine by the time he got back to the house and it didn’t look like the women were up; Billy crawled through his window anyway. He creaked his door open real slow; Maxine didn’t jump in his face to scream and ask if he’d been up to any gay activities. He took a shower and thought about Steve saying his romantic shit. _I want to be this person you can come to if you need something._ Jesus.

When he finally got out of the shower Max was bangin’ away in the kitchen already; she came out covered in flour and stared at him. “Did you come home last night?” she asked like his damn mom.

“Yeah, why?” Billy lied.

“Oh. I didn’t think you did.”

“Why do you look like you rolled in cocaine?” Billy asked her.

Max looked annoyed. “I’m making a pie!” she said. “Okay, I don’t need you yet, keep Mom out of the kitchen if she wakes up.”

“Okay.”

Billy watched TV; he could hear Max dropping shit in the kitchen like a damn cartoon. After a while she stuck her head back out the doorway. “Should we do carrots or string beans?”

“I don’t like either of those,” Billy told her just to piss her off; Max bitched her head off until he went into the kitchen and peeled carrots for her. “Did you buy all this shit?”

She was tryin’ to fit a huge ham into their only good casserole dish. “Mom gave me money.”

Billy eyed the casserole dish. “That ain’t gonna fit in there.”

“It’s the only one we have!”

“What about that thing from Christmas.”

“Mom threw it out, remember half the turkey was like stuck to it.”

Billy made a face. He peeled the potatoes. Max said, “OH MY GOD, I forgot the creamer,” like she was dyin’.

“Why you gettin’ all stressed out?” Billy asked her. “Coulda ate at the Byers’.”

“I have my own family here, thanks,” Max said all snooty. Billy felt touched.

Susan finally got up near noon and Max shooed her away; Susan sat at their little kitchen table in a big sulk with her needlepoint. “What are you going to do about the ham?”

“I’LL FIGURE IT OUT, MOM.”

“Ain’t those things from the store already cooked?” Billy asked her.

Maxine looked murderous. “I made. A glaze.”

“Okay, okay.” Billy thought about it. “Hey, you care if I bring Harrington over here?” He waited for Max to yell her head off some more.

She only yelled slightly. “Why? He’s not with his fancy parents?”

“Think they went out.”

“What about his stupid girlfriend?”

Haha. “I dunno, man.”

“Oh, that’s terrible, it’s a holiday,” Susan said.

“Hmm.” Max considered. “I guess we have enough stuff for him.” Billy wasn’t sure. “OKAY, he can come IF he brings creamer for the mashed potatoes.”

“Okay.” Billy went and called Steve; Steve said he wanted to come over. Billy figured he would. Probably he should have asked him last night; he didn’t know how to do shit like that.

“Uh, what do I do if Max starts askin’ me eighty questions about my mystery lady?”

“Dunno, make up a name or something.”

“Okay, I already did, how do you feel about being called _Bianca?_ ”

“Fuckin’ hate you,” Billy told him. “Pick another one.”

Max leaned out the kitchen like a demon. “ASK HIM ABOUT THE CREAMER!”

“Max wants to know if you have milk, we need it for – “

“I DON’T NEED MILK, IT NEEDS TO BE HALF-AND-HALF, DUMBASS!” Max screamed. “Let me talk to him!” She stalked across the room and snatched the phone from him. She dragged the phone all the way to the kitchen and yelled her head off at Harrington.

“Maxine! Stop screaming!” said Susan. Something crashed.

Max came out covered in more flour for some reason and gave him the phone back. “Okay, Steve is bringing me a casserole dish. He asked if he should dress nice, I said yes.” She cackled like a witch.

It took Harrington about an hour to get there; Max intercepted him at the door (Billy was laying on the couch after Max had smacked him around). “Oh my god, it took you long enough.”

“Shut up, I just saved your Easter,” Steve said.

Max took her supplies from him and made a face. “Why’d you get a haircut?” she asked.

“My dad said I looked like a hippie.”

“I thought that was the point,” Max said; Steve laughed.

“Hey,” he said to Billy.

“Hey.”

Max looked annoyed at them being romantic with each other. “Billy, don’t chat with him, I NEED YOU ON MASHED POTATOES!”

“Oh my god, all right.”

Steve hadn’t dressed that fancy; he was just wearing a polo shirt and khakis. No amazing glasses. Max didn’t ask him about his mystery lady; probably she thought it would be too painful for Billy. Steve sat in the kitchen with Susan and watched Max and Billy do their shit.

Mostly Max was doing everything. “STOP EATING!” she screamed at Billy; he put the macaroni spoon down. ”That’s not even cooked, how can you do that. Do you know where I put my oven mitt?”

Finally she got everything secured in the oven. She went off to get changed; Max had some weird girly ideas about holidays. Billy felt glad she wasn’t makin him wear a tie or some shit; she was real scary today.

“That’s really good,” Steve told Susan. He was watching her do her needlepoint.

“Thanks, this is the first one I designed myself.”

“This lady I work with does all that stuff, she made me a monogrammed pillow with my name on it.” Billy laughed and laughed.

Max came out with her fancy dress on and her Polaroid camera. “Steve, can you take a picture of us?”

“Jesus Christ,” said Billy; Max manhandled him into a chair.

“Billy, stop making a face,” said Susan.

“What, I’m not.”

“He can’t help it,” Max said like a shitheel. The flash went off and she snatched her camera back. “Okay, Billy and Steve on the counter!”

“Sounds like a porno,” Billy said.

“Oh, my god,” said Susan; Steve started laughing.

Max burned like half the food; Susan was never gonna stop making comments. It was still pretty good though.

 

* * *

 

School started up again and everything sucked. Actually everything was pretty okay; getting up early again for school sucked. Billy didn’t know why they gave you these long breaks and then made ya go back. It was like a shock to the system.

Billy’s old man came home for two days, just long enough for him to get into a big fight with Susan about bills before he went off to California. Max and Billy sat around on the couch and listened to Neil scream in the kitchen about what a goddamn mess the house was.

Third-quarter report cards got sent home; Billy intercepted them at the mailbox before he went over to Harrington’s so that Susan wouldn’t come home and lose her shit over Max’s shitty science grade. He did not get a shitty science grade. He’d got a B minus. Henderson stopped over at Steve’s and hulked his way through the door when Harrington didn’t want to let him in. He looked disappointed to see Billy sitting on the couch.

“Oh, it’s just you,” he said. “Hey, you guys are alone, want to play D&D with us?”

Sunday was the day that he'd said he'd take Jane to see her moms; Billy'd been dreading it and kinda looking forward to it all week. Max scowled her head off around the house the whole morning and barely talked to him. They’d only been awake for like an hour but she’d done a lot of scowling already.

She glowered at him as he was getting ready and waiting for Harrington a little before ten-thirty; Billy thought again that he'd never understand any woman. He stared at her as he put his jean jacket on.

Max stared back and then flopped onto the couch. She was still in her pajamas in a big sulk. “HAVE FUN WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND,” she said all snitty.

“Jesus, are you really going to start that shit with me again?” Billy asked her; Max scowled. He fixed his jacket collar. “You can come if you want, I don't care.”

“I wasn't _invited.”_

“Room in my car.”

“Barely!” Max glared at the TV; it wasn't even on. “I'll survive _somehow_ ,” she said at a level four in her hysteria. “I still think this is the stupidest idea, you guys are probably going to get _kidnapped_ or something.”

“Right, okay. That shit don't really happen.”

Max scowled some more and turned the TV on finally. “Whatever.” Billy stood behind the couch and stared down at her. Jesus Christ he really was turning into a fuckin' bleeding heart; the transition was almost complete he guessed. Didn't like her being mad at him. Max scowled again without looking at him. “ _What!_ ”

“Nothin', you brat,” Billy said. He leaned over with his elbows on the back of the couch and laid his head against his arms; Max ignored him with a steadfast glare at the TV. “Ma-ax,” he said after a moment. Max ignored him even harder. “Maxi-pad.”

“AUGH!” said Max like Charlie Brown; she reached up and smacked his arm without looking at him. “Oh my _god_ , can you just _go?_ ”

“Gotta wait for Harrington,” Billy reminded her. Max narrowed her eyes and made a slight fishface. “Max,” he said again.

“Oh. My god. _What?_ ”

“Don't be fuckin' pissed at me, okay?”

“I'm _not_ pissed, I'm waiting for you to _go,_ leave me alone,” Max begged him.

“Go rent a movie, I'll watch it with you when I get back tonight.”

Max finally looked at him; she glowered up at him suspiciously. “I don't have any money!”

“Jesus.” Billy sighed. He dug around in his wallet and waved five bucks in her face. “No cartoon shit.”

“What time are you gonna be back? Can I get a pizza?”

“I guess,” Billy said; Max stared at him some more. “Oh my god, you shit.” He gave her some more money. Satisfied, Max turned back to the TV.

Harrington finally showed up; he looked like he was about to fuckin’ kiss Billy on the doorstep before Billy opened the door up wider to reveal Little Shithead on the couch watching TV. ”HEY, MAX,” Steve said all loud like a little dork.

Max gave him a weird look. “What do you want?” she said. Billy rolled his eyes.

They spent a while arguing over whose car to take; eventually they decided that Billy’s flashy Camaro was less conspicuous than Harrington’s fancy 30k Beamer. “It’s not flashy,” Billy said.

Billy screeched his way to the chief’s house and Steve bitched his head off the whole time. His car made a lot of noise in the gravel driveway. On the wooden front porch Elijane and Wheeler Jr were on the steps being all cute with each other; Hop was leanin’ out the front door talking to them. He looked annoyed already and was wearing red long-johns. Billy couldn’t really process that this early.

“Oh, Jesus,” Hop said when he saw Harrington get out of Billy’s car. “Sure, let’s have a field trip.”

“Hey Hopper,” said Steve. He was making one of his suave squinty faces.

Hop ignored him. “Hey Mike, how come I found your windbreaker on my couch last night?”

Wheeler Jr’s eyes about bugged out of his head. “Uh, what?” he said in great fear. “That's, that's so weird, I’ve been looking for that.”

“Uh-huh,” said the chief. “Come have a chat with me.”

Wheeler’s eyes bugged out some more. He got up and went into the house to meet his fate.

Billy and Steve went up to the porch to meet their fate. “Hey kid,” Billy said to Elijane.

“Hey El,” Steve said.

Elijane ignored him; she gave Billy a look. “Did you bring my book?” she asked him.

“Sure did,” Billy said in what he hoped was not great fear. “In my car. You want it now?”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Billy sat down next to her. Steve made an awkward face and wandered away to look at Hopper’s trucks; he had his police car and a big old Jeep Wagoneer. Elijane watched him with a serious expression on her face. Billy wondered what all she could sense with her powers and if she knew that Harrington acted weird around her. If she knew that Steve was always stressed the fuck out or that Billy loved him. That was a new thought; he put that away for later. El turned and stared at him with her big eyes all wide.

Shit she made him feel weird. “Sorry I ain’t seen you in a while.”

“I guess you’ve been busy,” El said; she turned her head and looked right at Steve. Jesus Christ.

“What you know about it?” Billy asked her; Elijane gave him another big look. “What?”

“Boyfriend,” El said.

“OH, MY GOD, NO,” Billy said in horror. “No, nope. No.”

“Went to the movies,” she said all simple; Jesus Christ he wondered what else she saw.

“So what? Took you to the movies.” El stared at him. “That’s, that’s great. You can’t say anything to nobody.”

“I won’t.” She narrowed her eyes like she was tryin’ to figure him out. “You’re embarrassed?”

“Uh, not really.”

“But you don’t want anybody to know.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Billy lit up a cigarette; this was really somethin’ he didn’t feel like talking about with a twelve-year-old girl. He had to remind himself that she’d grown up in a test tube or whatever and didn’t really know shit. “How many guys you see goin’ around together on the TV?”

“It’s bad?”

“Uh. Not really.” He didn’t know; didn’t know what to say to her. “I don’t know.”

She looked at him some more. “Okay, I won’t tell.” She reached out and poked him; he had a little scar on his eyebrow thanks to his old man a couple weeks ago. “Looks bad.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Your dad did it.”

There was really no use lyin’ to the kid. “Yep.”

El considered him. “I could kill him,” she said real casual; Billy choked on his cigarette smoke. She looked thoughtful as he coughed. “I think I’m still strong enough to do it.”

“Uh, yeah, maybe don’t do that,” Billy managed.

“I’m just saying.” She thought about it. ”It would have to be soon.”

“What, offer expires in a week?”

El gave him a look. “Longer.”

“That’s okay.”

“But he hurts you. Makes you feel bad.”

“It don’t matter.”

“My papa hurts me.”

Billy stared at her. “What, the chief?”

“No.” Oh. Weird science guy.

“He ain’t around anymore,” Billy said; El didn’t answer him. “You can’t go around offin’ everybody you don’t like.” She knew that.

“I know that,” Elijane said.

“Wouldn’t be anyone left on the planet.”

“I guess.”

“Thanks, don’t kill my dad,” Billy told her.

Elijane thought about it. “Okay,” she said all sulky. Billy kinda got a kick out of her even though she was a little homicidal maniac. He decided not to tell Harrington about this part of the conversation.

Hopper and Wheeler Jr came back out onto the porch. “Harrington, get the fuck away from my car!” Hop said; Steve almost fell over. “You guys ready to go?”

“Yes,” said Elijane.

“Okay. I gotta get my stuff.”

They all went and stood by Billy’s car and watched the chief stomp around. He'd gotten changed finally; he was wearing baggy kahki pants and a camouflage vest. He had a green bucket hat on, like one of those ones old men wore when they were going fishing. Cigarette smoke billowed after him. Billy and Steve and Wheeler stared at the hat.

Steve was making one of his extremely squinty faces. “Why, why's he dressed like that?” he said. “What's with the hat?”

Wheeler Jr was making a face too. “Maybe it's like a disguise or something.”

“He just likes it,” Elijane said placidly; Billy choked.

Hop stalked by them to the Wagoneer; he loaded a rifle into the trunk. He stalked back into the house. He loaded another rifle into the trunk.

“Oh, my god,” Steve said faintly.

“He has two pistols too,” Elijane told him. “We always have those.”

“Great, that’s really great,” Steve said like a dying man. Billy patted him on the back.

The chief stalked over and gave Elijane her little jacket; it was pink. She took it and stared at him. Hopper scowled. “Put it on, it's cold out.” Elijane put the jacket on.

They stood around by the Camaro some more and watched Hopper stalk about across the yard getting ready; Elijane took Billy’s keys out of his pocket. Hop stalked by with his cooler. He stalked by with his jacket. He stalked by with a beer. He stalked by with another beer. “Should we get lunch?”

Billy thought about the two pistols. “If you want,” he said in great fear.

“Okay.” Hop went and got another beer.

“What's he doing?” Steve said, still faintly.

Elijane was already in the backseat reading her book. “He always does this.”

“What, when you go see your family?”

“Anywhere,” Elijane said; Billy guessed Hop wasn't much of a people person.

Hopper slammed the trunk of his Jeep shut finally. “Okay, are you ready, assholes?” he said. “Not you, El.”

“We've been ready,” Wheeler Jr said with his usual amount of tact.

“All right, I'm gonna follow you guys in a minute.” Hopper lit up a cigarette; the boys all stared at him. “What? _Go!_ ” Everyone dove into the car.

“Okay, all right,” Harrington said as he clicked his seatbelt on. “So. Yeah. This will be fun! You guys excited?” he asked Wheeler and Elijane.

The kids stared at him from the back and didn’t answer. “Right. Cool, cool. Cool,” said Steve being ignored like usual.

“Kid, you gotta give me directions,” Billy told Elijane.

She was still reading her book. “Go to the highway.”

“Yep.” It was gonna be a long drive.

They drove for a while. Sometimes Hop was behind them and sometimes he wasn’t; even so Billy felt the need to obey all traffic laws for once. Elijane and Wheeler were talking quietly in the back and Steve had a weird tight smile on his face like he was in pain.

“Want to see my report card?” Wheeler asked Elijane.

“Okay.”

“Want to see my report card?” Billy asked Steve.

Steve looked amused. “Uh, sure.”

Billy fumbled around in the glove box and handed it to him. “Oh, this is good, Bill!” Harrington said with real enthusiasm; he was too sweet. Billy’d gotten mostly B’s. Steve gave him a look. “I think you could get an A in English, though.”

“Nah, I’d have to do the homework.”

“Can I see your report card too?” Wheeler asked him.

“I guess.”

Steve handed it over. “You did better than me,” Wheeler said without much malice. He made a face. “How’d you get a C in shop class?”

“That’s my smoke break,” Billy told him; Mike actually laughed.

The drive took a long time and nobody shot at them. Elijane’d say stuff like ‘Turn here’ two seconds before Billy passed the road so he actually had to drive kinda slow; Steve said he could see his heart breaking. In the rearview mirror he could see Hopper in the Wagoneer smoking eighty cigarettes.

They stopped at a Burger King two hours in; Maxine’d kill him if she thought Billy took Elijane to McDonald’s without her. Hopper sat at a table next to them and didn’t really talk. El was fascinated by the soda machine.

“Can I have your pickles?” Wheeler Jr asked Billy; he was a goddamn savage. Billy shoved the burger wrapper at him.

El’s aunt’s house looked like a postcard of the countryside; everything was dusty and she had a lot of windchimes. Her name was Becky and she was wearin’ a huge baggy sweater like she’d gotten fashion advice from Joyce Byers. Everyone stood awkwardly on the porch while Elijane hugged her.

“Sorry, we brought some stragglers,” Hopper said; Harrington looked like a guilty puppy.

“That’s fine, come on in.”

There were a million trinkets in the kitchen and Billy had to force himself not to touch anything. They sat at the table El’s aunt gave them glasses of water. Hopper got whiskey which wasn’t fair. “Okay, you’re definitely Billy,” she said to him. “And I’ve seen a picture of Mike. Not sure who you are,” she said to Steve.

“That’s Steve,” El said. “He’s our friend too.” Harrington looked all touched. “Mostly Billy’s friend,” she said because she was a horror too; Billy kicked her under the table.

“OW, OH MY GOD!” said Wheeler. Elijane looked pleased; Hop was rubbing his face for some reason.

“Can I see Momma?” she asked.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Elijane wandered off.

Hopper and El’s aunt started talking about how horrible the government was and Billy felt bored. She and Hop were both smoking but Billy wasn’t sure if he should light up.

“You hear that shit Reagan said on the news last week?” Hopper said.

“Can’t believe it.”

Wheeler looked bored too. “Want to play cards?” he asked.

“Okay,” said Billy and Steve.

“You guys can go in the living room if you want,” El’s aunt told them.

The living room was crowded with more kitschy stuff; Mike and Billy sat on the couch and Steve got the floor. It was like this weird unspoken thing that they weren’t go to burst in on El and her mother. Mike had a deck of cards in his pocket and Billy shuffled them. “Can you teach me to play poker like you showed Dustin?”

“Yeah, okay.”

They played a couple rounds which turned into games and then Wheeler decided Billy cheated too much. “It’s called bluffing,” Billy said; Mike owed him two candy bars now. He went off to check on Elijane finally.

Steve sat on the couch next to him; neither of them talked for a while. “So, this is okay, I think,” Steve said. “No monsters yet, no government agents.”

“I guess.”

“Do you think Hopper really has two pistols?”

Billy laughed. “Probably.”

They got up and snooped around the rest of the house for a few minutes; there was nothin’ really nefarious. Steve went outside to smoke and Billy went to spy on Elijane. He wondered why she hadn’t taken him to meet her moms or whatever.

Then he saw her and he guessed he knew; she probably wouldn’t have known if she’d met him or not. Shit. He remembered her from his freaky dreams but it was strange to see her in person. She had long dirty-blonde hair spillin’ down her back and her face was too thin. She was kinda pretty, would have been prettier. Her blue eyes were blank. She was sitting in a little rocking chair going back and forth and muttering to herself; El was sat beside her holding her hand.

Billy looked at them for a couple minutes. Thought maybe she could have talked to the kid a little or something; he guessed that didn’t really happen. Wheeler Jr was standin’ awkwardly against the wall looking at them too.

Billy felt real bad looking at them. He’d used to sit with his mom too, just sit with her. In a way he thought it was worse for El.

He went back and sat on the couch again; he didn’t feel like thinking about his mom either. He wondered why he’d said he’d take the kid; why she’d even wanted to come. It felt like he’d been sitting for a long time when Harrington came back in.

He sat back down next to Billy and stared at him; he put a hand on the back of Billy’s neck. “Hey, are you okay?”

Jesus fuck. Billy shrugged the hand off; it wasn’t like they were alone in his fancy house. “You don’t gotta check up on me,” he said.

“Sorry.” Steve was giving him a weird look. Billy went outside to smoke too.

He sat outside for a long time; eventually Wheeler came out and sat with him. He was only making a small face over it. ”El’s doing her freaky mind thing with her mom now,” he said. “I left them alone. Steve’s being a total dork.”

“Usually is.”

Wheeler stared at him. “Can I try your cigarette?” he said.

Billy handed it over; Wheeler coughed a lot. “Okay, that’s bad.” Billy would have laughed if he’d felt like laughing.

Wheeler fidgeted on the steps; he looked moody. He looked over at Billy like he was considering him. He looked back out at their cars in the rocky driveway and the big road beyond them. “El’s been so weird lately,” he said.

 _Lately?_ Billy thought. Somehow he managed not to say it. ”Oh yeah?”

“She never tells me anything anymore. She thinks these people are after her.” He said it like it was so crazy.

Billy smoked his cigarette and looked out at the road too; he had no clue what to say to that. He thought about Hopper saying _You see anything, anything weird_. He tried to think if he’d seen something weird. Weirdest thing was Wheeler’s face like usual. “You think they are?”

“I don’t know. She’s been saying that for like a year.”

“Guess I’d think that too.”

Wheeler looked even moodier. “You know, Hopper smokes weed sometimes, I bet she gets paranoid off the smoke.”

Holy shit the chief lit up. It was too good. Billy finished his cigarette. ”I don’t see no people here,” he said.

“Me either.”

Finally the chief came out and said they were gonna go soon; Billy wasn’t sure how two hours had passed. Seemed so little to have driven so far.

Hop went and checked on his rifles like a weird person while the kids got themselves together in Billy’s car. Elijane was crying a little which was terrifying as usual. She held her book and Mike’s report card, also like a weird person. Wheeler Jr kept touching her shoulder in an ineffective way.

“Want me to drive back?” Steve asked him.

Billy thought about it; he felt tired. “I guess.”

Back on the road nobody talked much. Steve drummed his hands on the steering wheel and played around with the radio like a little dork. “Anybody want to get a milkshake?” he said.

Wheeler Jr made a shitface in the backseat; Elijane said, “Okay” so they went to Dairy Queen.

“I’m tired of these pit stops,” Hopper said. He ate two ice creams anyway. He had his arm around Elijane in a slightly less ineffective way.

“Stop eating,” she told him.

Hopper stared at her and crunched his cone.

After a million years they left and after a million more years they were at the chief’s house. Billy got out of the car and pushed the seat up so the kids could get out as Hop parked like a crazy person in the grass. He finally took his horrible hat off.

Elijane looked real small and her little hair bow was coming loose. “Thanks Billy,” she said.

“No problem.”

Elijane wandered off into the house. Wheeler stood awkwardly and then followed her, giving Hopper a wide berth.

Hopper was smoking his second pack of cigs. “Good trip,” he said. Billy stared at him. ”You can go away now.”

Yep. “See ya later.”

“Can’t wait,” said Hop.

Back in the car Steve was giving him a weird look. He drove back to Billy’s house; it was past dark. Susan’s Explorer was back in the driveway so Steve parked Billy’s car on the street. “Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Billy said.

“Do you want me to go home?” Steve asked him. “I mean, I can leave you alone if you want. If you just wanna see Max or whatever.”

Billy thought about it. He felt weird from being in the car all day; tired from being around El and Wheeler and the chief. He still felt weird about seein’ El with her mom and seeing the kid cry. He kind of felt like being alone; didn’t really want to be alone.

“You can come in if you want.”

“Okay.”

They went into the house; Maxine’s sullen face on the couch was a familiar sight. Billy felt weirdly okay in two seconds. “Wow, you actually came home before midnight,” Max said. She made him feel guilty in two seconds; he’d stayed at Harrington’s twice last week and had snuck in through his window early in the morning. Max thought he was toiling away at work.

“Did you get me a movie?”

“Yep.” Max nodded towards the TV and the VCR; she’d gotten _The Howling_.

“Great, that looks great,” Harrington said.

“I wanted _An American Werewolf in London_ ,” Max told them in a big sulk. “Me and Mom ate most of the pizza.”

Billy got the movie set up while Steve went into the kitchen to pick at the rest of their pizza. Max gave him a look when he came out eating two slices. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” she asked.

“Yeah, right here,” Steve said. He sat down and took up most of the couch; Max rolled her eyes.

Billy started the movie up and sat down between them. If Max wasn’t there Harrington’d probably have his arm around him and be playin’ with his hair or some shit. That was okay though because Billy didn’t really feel like being touched right now.

Max turned the volume down. “So how was it?” she asked.

Billy didn’t answer. “Kind of bad,” Steve said. “Hopper has a lot of guns.”

“Not surprising,” Max said wisely.

“He wore a really ugly hat.”

Max made a face. “Also not surprising,” she said. They watched the movie for a while then Max started going in on Billy. “Did you look at those apartments Joyce told you about?”

Mrs. Byers had told him about another apartment complex; it was on top of an old shopping plaza. It was actually kinda close to the house, maybe too close really. It was real close to the good Chinese place which both Max and Steve said was important. Wasn’t exactly in the nice part of town but then again this was Hawkins; Maxine was about the scariest thing in the county.

“Yeah, wasn’t bad.” Max looked annoyed in two seconds so he had to give more details. “Bedrooms are bigger than the other places. Uh, laundry’s in the basement.”

“Ooh, creepy,” Max said appreciatively; Steve made a face.

“Got a dishwasher too.”

“Nice! Did you ask the questions we talked about?”

“Yeah I did.” She was like his damn mom. “Heat’s included.”

“What were the carpets like?”

“Oh, my god, man, I don’t remember.”

Max sighed like he was hopeless. They watched the movie some more, then it was time for _Unsolved Mysteries_. Steve and Max fought over the volume on the TV; Susan came out and watched it with them too. “Stop yelling!” she said. She took the remote from them. “Billy, you look so tired.”

“I’m okay,” Billy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> – It’s been a few weeks since I updated, but I wrote the majority of this in the last week. Please point out typos!!!  
> – I think I referenced _Unsolved Mysteries_ like 4 times; sorry, I really like it. I know that I picked Cyndi Lauper for the song for the chapter but I played ‘Head Over Heels’ by Tears for Fears like four times when I wrote Billy and Steve’s ‘date’ lol.  
>  – Thank you to everyone so, so much for all the reviews and comments. :) Seriously still wouldn’t be writing this crap without you guys!


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will found them on the bleachers and then the rest of the Creepy Kid Club drifted over. Will sat on one side of him and Henderson was on the other with his girl; Maxine and Wheeler plopped down in front of them. Max kept leanin’ back on his knees.
> 
> Jesus God he was surrounded by loser freshmen; he guessed it didn’t even fuckin’ matter if everyone in school found out he was a huge queer. Okay it still mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know that I usually post a bunch of stuff at the end of each chapter; since this is the last one I didn’t really want to do that. Here is my novella of notes.
> 
> Um, so I know I said that I wanted to wait until I had finished some of Part Two so that I could post them together; that didn’t happen. I’ve got a lot of bits done but it’s not really in any cohesive order. I’m still having a lot of fun writing this and I care about all of the characters so much but I need a bit of a break, at least until my vacation starts next week. I just want to write Steve and Billy at the roller rink. -___-
> 
> Thank you so, so much to anyone who’s left me feedback, it really means the world to me. This has gotten so, so long and I’m sorry. Everything I write gets so, so long and I’m sorry. Since it’s gotten so long I feel like it’s gotten boring. This part is 60k which is a novel all on its own. I figured since this is the last part I could cram in all the cutesy shit I wanted.
> 
> It’s not really the end though! Just where I wanted to stop the fic because I want to play around with perspectives in part two. I’ve had this whole thing planned from the beginning; now, 300k+ in, I can start to write the Steve/Billy story that I really want to write lol. I promise I’ll come back soon and fix all The Shit and I hope you guys won’t be too mad at me!
> 
> Um, there is more racial stuff near the end of this chapter, so don’t read it if Billy being a terrible problematic person is going to upset you. I feel like there’s a lot of handwaving in the fandom and maybe it’s not something that people want to read about but I think that it’s a) something that was definitely portrayed in the show b) something that needs to be dealt with, and c) something that needs to be stamped out. I’m pretty tired of people reading the first chapter of this story and coming at me as if I’m condoning racism; I would hope that if you have read thus far you know that that is definitely not what I’m trying to do. I’d hope that if anything, this fic is a testament to how horrible all types of prejudice are and how much they can hurt people. Or maybe I’m just a bad writer telling a terrible story. I’ve thought about taking this fic down a number of times but I think I’m just going to let it stand as is.
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy!

  **Chapter Eleven**

 

 _Loving you isn’t the right thing to do_  
_But I can’t ever change things that I feel_  
_If I could maybe I would give you my world_  
_But I can’t when you won’t take it from me_  
_You can go your own way_  
_You can roll like thunder_  
_Loving you isn’t the right thing to do_  
_But I can’t ever change things that are real_  
_If I could maybe I would give you my world_  
_But I can’t when you won’t take it from me_  
_You can go your own way_  
_You can roll like thunder_  
– ‘Go Your Own Way,’ Fleetwood Mac

 

**May 1987**

 

Spring had started back in April but it took a couple weeks more to finally hit Hawkins. Billy daydreamed about the beach far away and school finally bein’ out for forever and Steve in swim trunks. He cut the sleeves off a lot of his t-shirts and laughed at Maxine wheezing about with her allergies.

With the days getting longer school seemed to take only about five hundred hours each day instead of a thousand. Harrington was pretty much always on his mind when he was in class. Probably he shouldn’t let himself think about Steve during class but it wasn’t like he ever paid attention to the lectures anyway.

During world history he thought about Steve’s huge amazing dick and all the great sounds he made when he came. In math class he thought about the veins in his arms and the line of his neck and the way he’d arch his back to press down against Billy when they was hookin’ up on his bed.

In study hall he’d take a break and do his English assignments with Angela Davis or play card games with Henderson and his girl. Then usually by the time shop class rolled around he’d get real romantic and start thinkin’ about Steve’s pretty mouth or the way his hair always smelled good or the way he’d smile against Billy’s mouth when Billy’d kiss him the way he liked and other corny shit like that.

Spring was so great.

He and Harrington went out a couple more times in that first week of May. They went to Indianapolis again. Steve took him to two record stores and they got food on the pier; Billy faked havin’ to go in to work like he had been to throw Max off. When he dropped her off at the arcade one night Henderson was there with a status update on Harrington Watch 1987 – he and Sinclair thought they were so hilarious. Apparently Steve looked real fancy; it was gonna be a big night for him. Max stole Dustin’s soda can and crushed it in rage to shut him up.

Billy had tried to look discreetly heartbroken (he was getting pretty good at it) and drove off to Harrington’s laughing to himself. Steve did look pretty fancy; they just went to the movies again though. Harrington seemed to think it was a good idea to make out in restrooms; the floors were usually real sticky and Billy was gonna put a stop to that any day now.

They actually did go to an Italian restaurant one night. They went there with Steve’s mom. It was definitely a weird night.

It wasn’t a Friday but Steve had got out from his job early; he’d already changed out of his preppy work clothes by the time Billy’d finished up at the shop and headed over. It’d finally gotten kind of hot out and Steve answered the door wearing one of Billy’s t-shirts that’d ended up over there; Billy was into it and he also needed it to come off right now.

“Hey,” Steve said; Billy kicked the front door closed and grabbed his collar.

“That’s my shirt.”

“Uh, sorry, I just grabbed it, I didn’t want to make you wai – ”

Billy kissed him and tossed him up against the steps. Steve’s head hit the banister and he laughed and made a face. “OW, Je-sus, you – “ Billy kissed him again – “okay, hi – “ Billy kissed him again – “you don’t have to be so fuckin’ rough with me.”

Billy bunched the amazing t-shirt up in his hands. Harrington talked too much; he could be doing so much other shit with his mouth. “Thought you was into that.”

“Meh.” Steve made one of his little nerd sounds. They had maybe kinda had this discussion once or twice before. He put his hand in Billy’s hair when Billy pressed him against the steps and twisted the collar of his shirt to bite his neck. “Yeah, you could calm down for once.” He grabbed Billy’s free arm and twisted it behind his back; they were half-layin’ on each other on the stairs.

Billy let him do it. “What, you can hurt me too,” he told him. “I’ll like it.”

Steve didn’t answer him for a moment which made him feel pretty weird; he definitely hadn’t meant to actually say that shit out loud. Okay he was pretty weird; he was pretty fucked up actually. He knew that already. Steve said in a stilted tone, “Yeah, I, I actually don’t really want to hurt you, that’s kind of fucked up.”

“Okay.”

Steve pulled his hair again and made him look at him. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be like that all the time.” He said, “Don’t you get thrown around enough at home?”

“I guess.” He pressed his face against the side of Steve’s neck. He didn’t mean to be like that; he didn’t think he was all the time. Just wanted him. ”Sorry.”

“No, I mean, that’s, it’s okay.”

“M’not like that all the time.”

“Yeah, I know that.” Steve let go of his arm and started messing around with his hair; Billy had it pulled back in a sloppy ponytail from bein’ at the shop. Steve played around with the ponytail and flipped it over Billy’s shoulder.

Billy felt like a sulky bitch; Harrington made him feel like a real girl sometimes. Also he needed a haircut real bad. “I can be nice if you want.”

“I don’t know.” Steve made a face at him so Billy leaned in and kissed him. He could be so nice. “Hmm.”

Billy kissed him for a couple minutes; he didn’t even growl or holler when Steve moved his leg and accidentally kneed him in the stomach. He knew how to get Harrington. Steve got all worked up and shit when Billy kissed him real slow and touched the side of his neck. He started groaning away and pulling Billy’s hair too hard.

“Okay, I, I, I,” he said all flustered; Billy really liked him that way. “Okay, we can’t – we have to at least go to my room, my mom might come home soon – “

“Jesus, you asshole,” Billy said. ”When were you gonna fuckin’ tell me that?”

“What, I had you under control,” Steve said like Billy was his pet; Billy slugged him in the stomach, not that hard. “Uh, I was a little busy.”

“I like your mom, don’t wanna give her a heart attack.”

“Oh, my god, it’s fine, just let me up.”

Billy didn’t really want to but he pulled back after a minute and let him get up. He followed Steve into his room; Steve grabbed him in two seconds and threw him on the bed. Billy hit the headboard pretty hard and Steve climbed up on top of him and pressed their mouths together again. “Thought I was supposed to be nice to you,” Billy managed in between kisses; Steve bit his lower lip. Sometimes he wished Harrington could just swallow him up.

“Yeah, you can be nice to me.” He pinned Billy’s hands down against his sides which made him laugh. “Shut up,” Steve commanded him.

Billy wriggled against him and flexed his wrists; Steve bit at the hollow of his throat and threw him down again. “SHIT, man.”

“Jesus, you really get off on this,” Steve muttered from somewhere right below his neck. It was mostly just him; Billy didn’t know how he didn’t know that. He released one of Billy’s arms and ran the heel of his palm over Billy’s hard-on. “I bet you’d actually like it if I tied you up or some shit, you weirdo.”

Billy had to swallow two times before he could talk. “You got the headboard for it,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What, you think about that before?”

“No, why would I,” Billy lied.

Harrington laughed at him a little; he leaned up and kissed him again. He let go of Billy’s other arm and Billy managed to get the little t-shirt off him. He ran his hands up and down Steve’s back and hooked a leg around his waist. The weight of his body on top of him was so good.

The room was real quiet; they made out for a long time. Billy loved it in Steve’s room. It smelled like Tide laundry detergent (“Great, that’s really sexy,” Steve had said before when Billy’d told him that) and he liked the dorky plaid wallpaper too. Harrington had told Billy before that he’d lived in his big fancy house for his whole life; he liked being in a place that Steve was at a lot of the time. He’d stayed over three other nights now and it was kind of a place he felt comfortable in. It was just real nice or whatever.

The thing about being with Harrington was that he still talked so fuckin’ much and even now it took some getting used to. Jesus he talked way more than fucking Tracey ever had; he even talked in his sleep sometimes and Billy had so much blackmail material. Billy was pretty sure Steve did it just to screw with him; whenever they were kissing or hooking up he always had to pull back about every five minutes and say some dumb bullshit. Their hookups were taking longer and longer because Steve talked so much; Steve said that Billy was a real prick when he’d pointed this out once.

After they finished hooking up he kept on talking and talking. They were layin’ side by side on his little bed; Steve was kinda squished against the wall and holy shit he’d never stop talking. “You know I, you know I talked to Nancy the other day,” Steve told him.

Harrington had just swallowed Billy’s come for the first time; Billy was still kinda reeling that and it took him a couple of minutes to process what he was saying.

He tried not to flip out or act like a huge baby over the fact that Wheeler was creepin’ on his man again; he guessed that was just a thing that was going to keep happening. Steve was a totally oblivious asshole and he still actually thought Nancy was a good person or whatever so Billy figured he was gonna keep on talkin’ to her. Didn’t need to be a big thing; Steve talked a lot so maybe it was okay and all if he fucking talked to her for eight minutes a week or something. Not really but Billy was makin’ himself be okay with it.

“When’d you talk to her?” he said anyway.

“She was at the grocery store with her mom, Dustin and I were getting stuff to make nachos on Sunday night.”

“DID YOU MAKE NACHOS WITHOUT ME?” Billy asked.

“What? No, I would never,” Steve lied; Billy wondered why he stayed in such an abusive relationship. “Anyway, I talked to Nancy about you, I heard some interesting things.”

That was so great. Billy tried to think of any fucked up shit he’d done at school the last couple weeks; he hadn’t really done anything that bad he thought. They couldn’t tie the firecrackers to him. “Okay, like what?”

“I heard that someone aced their big English test, you did better than Nancy. She was real mad about it.”

“Man, she always wants to fuckin’ hand our papers back, I knew she looked at the goddamn scores,” Billy said like a sulky bitch. Probably speed-read his fuckin’ essay question too.

Harrington laughed like that was really funny. Nancy must be so cute Billy guessed. “She said you got a ninety-six, you got two points higher than her.”

“She pro’lly missed that question about the modernist movement, it was worded real weird.” Teachers loved to do that shit to you.

Steve looked at him and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I, I don’t know what that is,” he said; Billy smiled at him. “What are you doing for your research paper?”

Billy stopped smiling. “What research paper?”

“Uh, I don’t know, don’t you have to pick some book to read?”

“That’s kinda the point of English class, you gotta read stuff and all,” Billy said; Steve rolled his eyes and gave him a big look. “Man, I never do that shit.” Research papers meant suffering in the library; Henderson and Rebecca were always in the library here so it was even worse.

“Bill, it’s like half your grade,” Steve said like a den dad.

“What, I’ll still pass.” He’d get a C for the year like he always did.

“Why don’t you just do it? It’ll be easy for you.”

Billy sat up and looked at him. “You know what’s easy for me?” he said; he started leaning in to distract him.

Steve looked like he was gonna let Billy kiss him; his eyes got all big when Billy got too close though. He jerked away and blocked him. “No, don’t start that with me again.”

“What?” Billy moved forward again; Steve blocked him again and caught his hand around Billy’s throat.

“No, get away from me, I’m talkin’.”

Billy leaned in and let Steve choke him a little; it was so interesting. Hm. “You talk a lot,” Billy told him.

“You know, I don’t know why you always do this,” Steve talked and talked and choked him; he squeezed Billy’s throat when he moved in again. “You always act like you’re not good at anything, you don’t even try.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re like actually really smart, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it.” Billy leaned in some more and tried to kiss him; Steve pushed him back again and tightened his grip. “ASSHOLE, LEAVE ME ALONE. You know, I’ve even heard you speak real proper English once or twice.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re good at lots of stuff, you could be good at school if you wanted to be too. I mean you already got a bunch of B’s, my mom woulda cried if I came home with a report card like that.”

“Sure,” Billy said.

“I meant cry in a good way,” Harrington told him. “I know it’s the end of the year so you probably don’t care about anything – ”

“I care ‘bout a lot of things,” Billy said.

“And you’re always hanging out with me too, you don’t even need to study or anything.” Steve ran his thumb over the side of Billy’s throat.

“Huh-uh.”

“I don’t know, I mean, I just think you could – “ Steve stopped and stared at him. “Wait, are you getting turned on again?”

“What?” Billy said.

Steve flicked his eyes over him. “Oh, my god, did you just get hard?”

“ – hahahhahaha – “ Billy said. He was pretty sure he was doing the tongue thing.

“Jesus, you fucking freak, I should have known you’d be into this shit.” Steve flexed the hand he had around his neck. “You’re so fucked up.”

Billy leaned in again. “Lemme kiss you,”

“Uh, yeah, no, I’m talking.” Steve was the worst person in the world. He tightened his grip even more and fumbled with his other hand at Billy’s jeans. “Are you gonna do your paper?”

“Uhhwhateveryouwant.”

“Mm, I don’t know.” Steve got his belt undone and looked at him. He reached his hand into Billy’s underwear and wrapped his hand around his cock again. Their faces were about six inches apart; Steve just looked at him. “I really think you should write the paper.”

“Guess I should,” Billy said.

Steve squeezed his cock. “You could probably get an A, I think you should try to get an A.”

“Uhhhhhh hahahaha,” Billy said.

“You fucking freak,” Steve said again. “Are you gonna do your paper?” His hand was so still.

Billy shuddered a little without meaning to. “What you gonna give me if I do it?”

“Uh, I guess we could figure something out. What do you want?” Harrington asked him real nice.

Fuck. Billy made a sound.

“So are you gonna do it?” Steve asked him. He started moving his hand a little; his other hand was still around Billy’s throat. “Hm?”

“YeahI’lldothepaperokay,” Billy said. “Lemme kiss you,” he said again.

Steve laughed at him. “Okay. Okay.” He loosened his grip on Billy’s neck but didn’t actually move his hand away; he let Billy lean in and kiss him. He started fisting Billy’s cock pretty hard and he laughed when Billy groaned and slid his tongue into his mouth.

Billy shifted on the bed and pressed his hips against him; Steve tightened his grip on his cock. “Yeah, that’s good,” he said. “Are you gonna come again?”

“Uhhhh,” Billy said.

“That’s really good,” Steve said.

Billy shuddered again; he could be so good for Steve. He pressed his face against the side of his neck and breathed out hard. Steve kept on workin’ him; he still had his hand around Billy’s throat even though he wasn’t really chokin’ him anymore. “You’re so hot,” he said. “Do you like that?”

“Fuck,” Billy said.

“Yeah, that’s the idea,” Steve muttered. “You’re so weird.” He said, “I thought about you all day, man.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Aw, did you think about my pretty face?” Steve asked him; he was such an asshole. They kissed again. “Did you think about how much it annoys you?”

Billy was gonna come in about a minute. The room was too hot. “Pretty much.”

Steve laughed; he tightened his hand around the base of Billy’s cock. “You’re such a prick.”

“You said it.”

Steve pressed his lips at a spot under Billy’s jaw. “You’re so annoying,” he told him. “Come on, I want you to come, my hand is getting tired.”

Jesus Christ he was too romantic. Steve tightened his grip even more; Billy came really hard and for a long time. When he could finally see again Steve laughed and moved away from him for a second away. Billy watched Steve wipe his hand off on the bedsheet; his nice bed was all messy now.

Billy breathed against his neck. He could feel Steve’s grin pressing against his forehead. “So I guess the modernists were really sexy,” Steve said; Billy laughed.

“Yeah, they was all queer and shit.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

They laid there for a while longer even though the bed was all fucked up; Steve pulled Billy’s ponytail out and played with his hair some more. Okay actually Billy was never gonna cut his hair.

Steve kept giving him this big kinda look that he didn’t really get. He hoped Harrington didn’t think he was too fucked up or something. They never really talked about all the shit they did when they weren’t doing it aside from teasing each other sometimes.

Shit he was probably really gonna make Billy write the paper now. He wondered what Steve would give him if he did. There was a couple of things they hadn’t done yet; Billy’d been thinking about them more and more.

Steve wasn’t thinkin’ about them apparently. He got up and put another shirt on; it was red with grey stripes. He messed around with his hair in the mirror and made a face at himself. “So are you hangin’ out with me tonight?” he asked; that was basically him asking if Billy was staying over.

“Not sure yet.” It depended on if Harrington’s mom really came home. She never really bugged them when she was here but Billy didn’t need to chance his luck with stayin’ over.

“Okay.”

Billy got up off the bed too and fixed his jeans. Steve turned and stared at him as he came over to the dresser. “What are you doing?” he asked warily.

“I’m not doing anything.” He hooked his thumbs in the belt-loops of Steve’s jeans and pushed him back against his dresser. Steve grabbed the hem of Billy’s t-shirt and pulled him in; he put a hand under his jaw and kissed him for a couple minutes.

Billy wondered if they were gonna go for round three already; he probably needed to shower. He put his head on Steve’s shoulder and mouthed at his neck. Steve was a good height. Maybe he really was one inch taller or whatever.

“You’re like a huge demonic cat or something,” Steve told him. Really Billy felt insulted; he made a face into the mirror. ”Do you need to feed soon, you monster?”

“Guess so.”

“Okay, we can go get something if you want, what do you want?”

They went back downstairs. Mrs. Harrington was in the foyer holdin’ the newspaper and a stack of mail; Steve stopped on the stairs for a second and Billy bumped into him. “Hey, you’re home.”

Steve’s mom just looked up at them for a second, then she smiled. “Well, I do live here,” she said. “Hello, Billy.”

“Hey,” Billy said.

“What are you boys up to?”

“Nothing, why?” Steve said loudly; Billy sighed in his head. He shoved him a little so’s he’d go down the rest of the steps.

Steve’s mom ignored him being a weird little dork; she shifted the newspaper in her arms and went through the mail. “We’re getting a lot of letters from the police academy association, they must want more money,” she said. “These can go to your father.”

She wandered away into the kitchen lookin’ at the mail still; Steve and Billy followed her. Steve started going through the fridge and Billy sat down at the counter.

Steve’s mom looked at him and Billy thought maybe he shouldn’t have sat at the counter. He always felt so fucking weird with her looking at him now. He wondered if there was any way she could tell that her son had just had Billy’s prick in his mouth about an hour ago. She smiled at him so maybe not.

He looked down at the countertop. He still always felt like a Garbage Pail Kid too whenever Mrs. Harrington was around; she never said anything bad but she was always dressed so nice and shit. Her hair was always perfect like Steve’s was and she never looked tired or stressed out like Susan did. Billy kinda wished he hadn’t worn his old t-shirt that said PARENTAL ADVISORY on it and had two holes in the sleeve.

Steve’s mom smiled at him again. Then she said, “Steven, stop standing with the fridge open, you’re going to let all the cold air out,” and Billy remembered she was just a normal mom anyway.

“No I’m not!” Steve closed the fridge. “What did you come home for tonight, to nag me? I feel nagged.”

“I’ve never nagged you in my life,” Mrs. Harrington said placidly; Steve made a great face. “But speaking of nagging, if I were to ever do it, I see your same pile of mail here from earlier. Are you ever going to open your application to Indiana State?”

“Man, you didn’t do that yet?” Billy asked him. Steve’d got it over two weeks ago.

“Wow, both of you,” Steve said. “I have all summer to do it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, if you did it or at least took it out of the envelope, I would stop bothering you about it,” Steve’s mom said. She added, “Not nagging.”

“Whatever, where’s it at? I’ll get to it.”

“Steven excels at procrastination,” Mrs. Harrington told Billy. “It’s a gift from his father.”

“Mom, are you serious?” Steve got all loud in two seconds.

“The temper is from me,” Mrs. Harrington told Billy. Really Billy didn’t think it was that bad.

Steve did look pretty annoyed though. “Oh, my god, you don’t need to start your crap with me,” he said like a sulky bitch.

“I’m not starting any _crap_ ,” his mom told him. She said _crap_ like it was a real interesting word.

“Yes, you are, you always have to make a comment, you could just not make a comment.” Steve started looking through the cabinets in an annoyed way.

“I just think you would feel better if you filled out the application,” she said; Billy thought so too.

“Why, so I can feel reassured after they reject me?”

“They’re not going to reject you, you don’t need to get so worked up.”

“I’m not worked up,” said Steve, worked up. “I’m never worked up.” Somehow Billy managed not to make a comment too.

Steve’s mom did not manage not to make a comment. “Is that why you were screaming at me for all of April?” she asked him.

“Oh, my god, I didn’t scream at you – ”

“I don’t know if you noticed I was conveniently absent from the house in April.” Steve’s mom turned back Billy. “I was screamed at and told to go away.”

“Me too,” Billy said.

“He can be so terrible.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, my god, okay,” Steve said. “Okay, all right. I didn’t say _go away,_ you always act like– ”

“It was implied, I think.” She told Billy, “I went to Lake Michigan with my sister for five days.”

“Heard it’s nice there.”

“Okay, first off, that was so stupid, you can’t even go swimming yet!” Steve said. “And, okay, I, I’m so terrible for being in a bad mood because – “

“He wouldn’t even eat any ice cream with me,” Steve’s mom told Billy.

“Do you guys do that together a lot?” Billy asked happily.

“NO, we never do,” Steve said. “Ma, can you stop?”

Steve’s mom finally closed her newspaper. “I’m not doing anything,” she said. “Steven, there’s nothing wrong with going to a state school, you know he didn’t get into Huntington,” she told Billy.

“Oh, my FRICKIN’ god,” Steve said. He wandered out of the kitchen like a dramatic bitch.

“Paul went to Huntington.” Steve’s mom kept on talking. He was pretty sure that was Steve’s dad. “So he’s heard about it all his life. It’s a big issue. I went to Penn State, which is a party school. If you ask certain people.”

Billy liked Steve’s mom more and more. “I’m not even going anywhere,” he said. He made sure to use his real proper English for once.

“And that’s fine, and you might decide you want to go somewhere later,” Steve’s mom said. “You might decide you never want to. You boys are so young, you have so much time to decide what you want. To do. And look at me, I got knocked up when I was twenty-three, didn’t even go back to work at a job I liked until I was thirty-five.”

Steve wandered back into the room like a dramatic bitch; he’d probably realized it maybe wasn’t safe to keep Billy in the room with his mom. “Oh, my god, is she telling you how I ruined her life now?” He put his hand on Billy’s shoulder for a moment as he walked past and stood by the counter sulking.

“Why do you think that, I have never said that,” Mrs. Harrington said.

“She was going to be an editor before she got pregnant with me,” Steve said. He turned his glower on him mom. “I heard you say _knocked up_ like a hooker!”

Steve’s mom ignored him. “I loved staying home with you, I always wanted to do that,” she said. “I used to help him with his homework,” she told Billy. “He used to write me all these little stories.”

Billy started grinning.

“Oh, my GOD,” Steve said. His mom looked real happy embarrassing him; she smiled at him. “Stop telling him shit, go back to Aunt Mary’s.”

“Don’t say shit, Steven.”

“You always do this to me when he’s here, why do you do this?”

“Don’t feel bad, I used to be a real momma’s boy too,” Billy told him. “Probably still would be.”

Steve just stared at him and didn’t say anything. He didn’t laugh or look annoyed like Billy’d expected him to; his eyebrows knitted together. Steve’s mom stared at him too and stopped smiling. Her brown eyes were so big just like Harrington’s. “I’m sorry,” she said suddenly. “I am so sorry, I’m going to stop talking about this.” She kept looking at him.

“Uh, that’s okay,” Billy said.

“Good job, Mom,” Steve muttered. She rolled her eyes over to him.

“Sorry, did I make shit weird?” Billy said.

“Nope, you did not,” Steve’s mom said. She smiled real bright. It was a weird smile; it didn’t touch her eyes. Maybe she was a little like Susan after all. “So what are you boys doing? What are you going to do tonight?”

“We were gonna go get dinner,” Steve told her.

“Oh, were you? That’s so nice, I can take you both out if you’d like.”

Steve looked terrified. “What? No no, you don’t have to do that.”

“You don’t want to eat dinner with me?” his mom asked him. She almost made a facial expression again and she almost looked hurt; it made Billy feel weird. “I thought you wanted to spend more time with me.”

“I don’t have to go,” Billy said. “I should probably go home.”

“Bill was just at work,” Steve told his mom.

Mrs. Harrington stared at Billy. “So you should be hungry,” she said. She told Steve, “I want to go to Bertolli’s.”

Steve looked more terrified. “What? Why? No, that’s way too fancy for him.”

“Thanks, man,” Billy said.

“Okay, that’s not what I – “

“Steven!” his mom said. “It’s not too fancy.” She looked at Billy. “It’s not too fancy.”

“Whatever’s fine.”

“That’s not what I meant, god,” Steve said.

Steve’s mom stood up and folded her newspaper back together carefully. “You’re very rude,” she said in a flat voice. “I’m going to go get ready, I will be ten minutes.”

They watched her leave the room; Steve turned back to him. He had his hands in his back pockets. “I didn’t mean it like bad,” he said.

“Whatever.”

“I just thought you wouldn’t wanna go to some ritzy sit-down place, especially with, with my mom.”

Billy thought about. “But I do wanna eat,” he said.

“Okay.” Steve smiled.

“What, do I need like a new shirt or somethin’?”

Steve stared at him for a beat. “No, you, no,” he said. “It’s not that fancy. You look fine.”

“He certainly does,” said Steve’s mom from somewhere out in the hallway; Billy rubbed at his face and started grinning.

Steve looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. He said, “Oh, my god, this is going to be a really fun night.”

 

Bertolli’s was out in Eastgate and Steve’s mom drove them in her fancy Lexus. “You have to sit in the back, I want to talk to Billy some more,” she said.

“Oh, my god, no, why are you doing this?” Steve asked. His mom ignored him.

Billy’d never been in a freaking Lexus before; since it was Steve’s mom’s car and she was there somehow he managed not to play with all the buttons on the door. He was dying but he managed not to play with the buttons.

Steve’s mom had a steady stream of questions for Billy about his job at the auto shop; she asked about Max too.

“I heard she wants a Jeep Wrangler.”

Billy didn’t know how she knew about it. “She gets her learner’s permit in the fall, she don’t – doesn’t – need to be thinkin’ about any cars.”

“Are you going to teach her to drive?”

“She already knows how to do that,” Steve said loudly from where he was sulking in the backseat.

“Does she really?”

“Drove my car once or twice.” Haha. He could see Steve making a big goony face in the rearview mirror and tryin’ not to say anything.

The restaurant wasn’t that fancy but it was pretty fancy. It had cloth napkins and there were candles on the table; they weren’t lit though so Billy figured it was okay. If it was a date or something it’d make him totally flip out but since he was here with Harrington’s mom and Harrington making a ton of terrible faces like a kid he only wanted to flip out a little.

There were two forks at everyone’s place setting; Billy stared at them for a long time. Steve leaned over. “It literally doesn’t matter which one you use, I can eat with my hands if you want.”

“Thanks, I’ll be okay,” Billy said. Steve put a whole breadstick in his mouth.

“Steven. Really?” said his mom.

“What?” Steve sounded muffled around the whole breadstick. “You wanted to come here with me.”

“I can’t imagine why I felt that way forty minutes ago.”

“Me either,” Steve said. He told Billy, “My mom has like this thing, she can’t just go to a regular place to eat, we coulda just got a pizza.”

“That’s not true,” said Mrs. Harrington.

Billy ate a breadstick too. “I seen you guys together at the diner before,” he said. “With your dad.” Steve made a face and Billy thought maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned Steve’s dad.

“When was that?”

“At the end of summer, remember, you thought Bill was twenty-three years old,” Steve told her. His mom smiled and Steve sighed.

“Oh yes, that was when Paul and I were pretending we could get along for more than a ten-minute period.”

Steve looked like he was going to have a brain embolism; they’d just learned about those in health class. Billy wondered if they’d be able to get him to the hospital in time. “Yep,” Steve said loudly. “That turned out so great, didn’t it? Do you wanna talk about that too?”

Mrs. Harrington gazed at him for a long time and then she opened up her fancy menu. “I think I’m going to have the manicotti,” she said. Steve rolled his eyes.

 

Maxine always said that Steve and Billy were gross boys and they could eat a whole horse in about five minutes; eating together with Steve’s mom took almost two hours. She asked Billy a lot of questions; they weren’t too personal so Billy didn’t mind. She asked him more stuff about the shop and then she asked him about what he and Max had used to do back in California. She asked him a lot of questions about school and then she asked him a lot of questions about books he’d read when she found out he was in the advanced English class. She seemed to like his thoughts on _The Awakening_.

Harrington kept looking more and more pained and eventually begged her to stop; Billy guessed he must be really boring. Steve and his mom kept makin’ their little comments to each other and Billy couldn’t tell if they was actually pissed at each other. He ate his fancy food and then the rest of Steve’s.

The car ride back was equally as fun; Harrington got so sulky that he didn’t even sing along to Genesis on the radio so it was pretty sulky. Steve’s mom wandered away upstairs once they got into the house.

Steve sat down next to him and fidgeted on the couch; he ran his hand through his hair eighty times. “Sorry, this was so fun,” he said.

“It was okay.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want it to be some big thing, sorry about my mom, she’s annoying, sorry.”

“Quit saying sorry fifty times.”

“Sorry,” Steve said; Billy gave him a look. Steve smiled and then stopped smiling. He looked weird; he didn’t look like confident sexy Steve from earlier who’d been laughing and teasing him and saying _That’s really good_ and getting him to say he’d write his stupid English paper _._ He didn’t even look like cranky bitch Steve who complained about everything and told Billy how irritating he was being every five minutes. “I don’t want her to freak you out or whatever.”

Billy wished he had a tape of Tracey’s old lady all strung out on her shit and screamin’ at them to show him. “She’s okay.”

“She just says so much shit all the time, I can’t believe she told you she got knocked up with me,” Steve said. “She’s not like, I don’t know, she can be cool and all, but she’s not like the, the kinda mom that’d bake you a pie like Dustin’s mom or, or, Mrs. Wheeler.”

“Just the kinda mom that takes you out and buys you a twelve-dollar meal.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Harrington smiled his weird smile again and then stopped smiling. “Nancy said she was, like, weird before, I didn’t want her to bug you.”

Billy looked down at himself slowly and made a face. “Didn’t think I really looked like Nancy.”

“Okay, I’m just saying.”

“Your mom ain’t weird,” Billy told him. He stretched out and put his arm out across the back of the couch where Steve was sitting. “What’s up with you, were you guys actually fightin’?”

“No, I don’t know. That was actually us getting along, she thinks I’m stupid.”

“Yeah, man, I don’t think she actually thinks that.”

“She does, they both do, she thinks I make stupid decisions,” Steve told him. “Maybe I do, I don’t know. You know when I dated, when I dated, uh – “

Billy rolled his eyes. “You don’t gotta say the name all the time.”

“You-know-who,” Steve said. “My mom was so mad at me, I told you about all the shit. We fought for, like, the whole time I went out with Nancy, it was totally stupid. My mom gets these ideas in her head and she doesn’t let up on them.”

“Weird, sounds like someone I know.”

“Shut up,” Steve said. “I have my convictions. One of them’s your research paper,” he said; Billy smiled. “I just, it wasn’t even really about you-know-who, it was because I wouldn’t listen to her, she thought I was, like, being spiteful or something. We fought so much that she just started goin’ to my aunt’s all the time, I mean it’s not like my dad is so great either. She said she didn’t wanna deal with me, I dunno if she’ll ever really like me again.”

Jesus Harrington was so dramatic. “She just took you to dinner, you dope,” Billy said. “Think she likes you okay. Last time my dad took me to dinner I was like ten and he broke a fuckin’ serving plate over my head.”

Steve stared at him. “Are you serious?”

“I’m joking, asshole,” Billy lied.

“Sorry,” Steve said for the eightieth time. “I – feel really weird talking about this stuff to you, we don’t have to talk about this.”

“Why, ‘cause my mom’s dead?”

“Yeah, I guess, and your dad’s crazy.” Billy didn’t say anything; Steve made a face again. “Sorry.”

Billy played around with the back of Steve’s shirt collar; he wondered if the tag was scratchy. He touched the back of Steve’s neck and his new shorter preppy hair. “Don’t matter.” He said again, “I like your mom, I think she’s cool.”

Steve still looked like a sulky kid. “You’re not annoyed by her asking you all that shit?”

“Why you always think I’m annoyed?”

“Well, you usually are.”

Billy felt annoyed. “No I’m not.”

“Okay.” Steve looked like he was being funny. “You wanna watch TV or something?”

“Sure.”

Harrington put on MTV for him; _Heavy Metal Mania_ was on and Billy felt happy. He kept his arm against the back of the couch and stroked his thumb down the side of Steve’s neck for a while. After a couple minutes Steve turned and started lookin’ at him; he leaned in and kissed him when Billy glanced over.

Billy kissed him back for a little bit; he couldn’t not. Steve put a hand on the side of his jaw and pulled him in closer. He kissed him until he closed his eyes; he pushed Billy back against the couch.

There was a coil of heat slowly unfurling low in his stomach; he let it spiral out. Steve made him feel so good. Billy let him push him against the arm on the couch, just for a second. Then he sat up and pushed him away. Harrington thought he was so fucking easy. Okay he was fucking easy but he wasn’t a dumbass.

“Leave me alone, your mom’s here.”

“She’s not gonna come in here.” Steve leaned in again; Billy pushed him away.

He felt pretty annoyed in two seconds and he didn’t want to feel annoyed. Steve could be so goddamn stupid. Billy didn’t understand why he didn’t seem to care about getting caught; he could not be that stupid. Billy did like his mom and he liked it in Steve’s fancy house; he didn’t want to get run out. Just because his mom had a gay cousin somewhere out there didn’t meant she was gonna throw a fuckin’ party because her son was hookin’ up with trashmouth Billy. He could already tell how it was gonna go; it’d be some real _Romeo & Juliet_ shit.

“I’m serious.”

Steve twisted his mouth to the side and let him up; he was being real cute. “Sorry, I can’t help myself,” he said like he didn’t know he could get Billy worked up in less than a minute.

“Whatever.” He looked at his wristwatch; it was way past ten. That wasn’t too late but Harrington’s mom was here after all. It was a school night and he had Max at home waitin’ to watch _Dateline_ with him. “I gotta go anyway.”

“You don’t have to, I’ll stop,” Steve told him.

“Yeah, I got off twice already and got a free dinner, I’m good to go,” Billy said; Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m JOKING, shithead.”

Steve rolled his eyes again; he looked like a kicked puppy or something right away and Billy kinda hated himself. Why’d he always have to say shit. It was so stupid and shouldn’t even matter but why’d he always have to say shit. “Okay, whatever.”

“Jesus.” He grabbed Harrington’s jaw with one hand and smushed his face; he leaned in and kissed him again. “Babe, I’m _fucking_ kidding.” He felt real stupid in two seconds; he definitely hadn’t meant to call him that.

Tracey had always liked shit like that; she said it made her feel good. Billy didn’t know how to be a fucking good boyfriend but he could call her _baby_ if she wanted. Harrington was lucky he hadn’t called him some bullshit like _sweetheart_ or _honey_ or whatever.

Steve didn’t make fun of him. He looked slightly less annoyed in fact. “Okay, okay, get off me,” he said; Billy released his face. “I’ll walk you out,” he said. He always did.

Back at home Max was sittin’ in the dark in the living room with their one sad AC unit on full blast; she had a blanket over her head and was eating cold Spaghetti-o’s out of the can like a goddamn cavewoman.

Billy closed up the front door quick so’s not to let the air out and locked it up. He didn’t yell at her for not locking the door like he usually would. She had _Heavy Metal Mania_ on too. Dee Snider was such a prick; he really thought he was hot shit.

“That your dinner?”

Max didn’t look away from the TV; Iron Maiden was on playing ‘Wasted Years’ and she’d decided she wanted to bang Steve Harris – _much_ cuter than Bruce, she’d told Billy. “Yeah, I didn’t know if you were at the shop,” she said around her Spaghetti-o’s. “I guess Mom’s working late again, I didn’t know if I should make something. Your _dad’s_ at the bar.” She rolled her eyes.

Billy thought about his twelve dollar lasagna and felt like a piece of crap; if he was a better brother Maxine coulda been eatin’ fancy Italian food with Harrington and his mom too. He should just fucking tell her. She might keep her mouth shut for six minutes. “Want me to take you somewhere tomorrow?”

Max gave him a look like she was deciding whether or not he was fuckin’ with her. “What, like Burger King?”

“Somewhere nice, dumbass.”

She thought about it. “Umm, they just opened a Chick-Fil-A over in Bloomington.”

Jesus God. “If that’s what you want.”

Max tossed him the remote.

 

 

The week went on; the next day he took Maxine out to get her stupid Chick-Fil-A and it was an okay time. Was weird – he didn’t know when Max had stopped pissing him off really. It wasn’t like back when she’d been a grubby annoying twelve-year-old and he’d been sixteen; they actually kinda had shit to talk about now.

They drove around Bloomingtom for a while and looked at the ritzy shops in the outlet mall. They went into a record store and a bookshop and Billy bought the book for his essay. He was gonna read _Catch-22_ ‘cause it was the only thing on the list that he hadn’t read yet.

Max flipped through the book when they got to the car and made a face. “We can watch the movie,” she said wisely. “What are you gonna write about?”

“I dunno, gotta look at the list.” Actually he had to find his paper that had the list of topics on it; actually he’d probably have to get it off Angela. He’d stopped usin’ his binders for shit back in April.

The weekend sucked. Harrington had to work all day on Saturday for some lame reason and Max was at work too. Billy’s dad was at home and Susan wasn’t around for him to bug or watch soaps with (not that he did that); Billy had fuck-all to do and no one to bother.

He laid around in his room and listened to the new Slayer record he’d got while he’d been out with Max; they’d bargained that she’d get two hours in his room this week to listen to it. She’d started talkin’ about the Metallica concert again and he had to figure out what he was gonna do about her.

Damn but she made him feel like a real prick; well he knew he was. It’d been so long now and he didn’t really know how to tell her she’d won her stupid bet. Anyway George Michael wasn’t even doin’ a concert this year so’s it wasn’t like he could just leave her the fucking tickets and go hide out while she flipped her shit. Was he supposed to buy her a dress or something for the country club. He didn’t think he was gay enough to do that; Max said he had no style.

Finally at past two he got tired of listenin’ to _Reign in Blood._ The Smiths had a new record out too and he coulda bought that; he was kinda saving his money though. He had an appointment to look at that place on Broad Street again at four and he figured he’d take Maxine. She’d looked at two places with him last week and had done his budget for him like a damn mom; he knew how much money he needed.

Out in the living room his old man was on the couch with his smokes and his beers watching _Bonanza_ like he always fuckin’ was. He was drinking a Miller Lite. Billy could remember Harrington getting hit in the head with a Miller Lite. His dad stared at him as Billy went to the closet by the door to get his jean jacket on; it was raining out.

“Where are you going?”

Billy took his jacket off the hanger; he thought it was real sweet that his dad was acting like he cared about what Billy was doing this week. “Gonna go see Max at her work,” he said. She was at the general store til three-thirty and he knew Mrs. Byers was workin’ too; he wanted to see how bad he could flirt with her and how pissed off Maxine’d get.

His dad stared at him and drank his beer. “You sure are hanging out with her a lot lately,” he said. “Don’t you have any friends your own age?”

Billy thought his old man knew he didn’t have any friends, period. “Thought that was what you guys wanted.”

“You know when I said you guys needed to get along I didn’t mean it the way you’re doing it.”

Billy stared at him and closed the closet door up. He didn’t get what he meant. “I don’t get what you mean.”

His dad drank his beer. “Spending a lot of time together,” he said again. Billy just stared at him. “You know you’ve got about five minutes left to live if I catch you doin’ shit to her – “

Billy couldn’t talk for a couple seconds; it was like this black wall of horror slamming up on all sides of him. “Screw you, I ain’t doin’ shit to her.” He was just holding his jacket. “The hell’s wrong with you?”

“She’s not a kid anymore,” his dad said like that meant something. He tilted his beer bottle to one side; it was almost empty. “Looks real nice, don’t she?”

Jesus fucking Christ. Billy just stared at him; he probably looked like a fucking moron standing and holding his jacket with his arm stretched out like he was frozen. His dad asked him, “Do you think she looks nice?”

“I think she looks like a fucking troll.”

Billy’s old man smiled; it wasn’t a nice smile. “I guess that doesn’t really matter to you.”

“I ain’t doing shit to her,” Billy said again. He couldn’t believe he had to say it. Fuck it was so terrible; it was so gross. He didn’t really know if his dad actually knew he was queer or whatever and was just fucking with him but Maxine barely counted as a girl anyway.

“I thought you liked them young,” his dad said. “I’m pretty sure that’s why we moved here in the first place, or did you forgot about your little girlfriend that you – “

He wasn’t going to let his old man talk about Tracey; he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. That’d been so long ago now. “I didn’t do nothin’ to her either,” Billy said over him; he almost almost believed it. Really he almost did. He said, “You’re fucking crazy, thought Max was supposed to be my fuckin’ sister. Why, why – “ he couldn’t talk right for a minute – “why are you sayin’ this shit to me?”

His dad stared at him and drank his beer. “Why’s she sleeping in your room?” he asked him. “Think I don’t notice that? What’s she doin’ in your room at two am?”

Billy didn’t answer him for a couple seconds. He put his jacket on and didn’t answer him.

He felt real mad; he’d known Max was gonna get him in trouble with her weird baby bullshit. She really wasn’t a kid anymore like his dad said. They weren’t fuckin’ eight-year-olds having a sleepover; she thought because he was queer they could have fucking sleepovers and talk about boys or some shit. ”Why don’t you ask her, she fucking bugs me.”

Actually he didn’t want his dad to ask Maxine that; it was too gross. He didn’t want her thinking about that shit.

“Yeah, I'm gonna need that to stop right now,” his dad said; Billy wondered if he was supposed to be followin’ his train of thought. He said again, ”If I catch you doin’ shit to her – ”

“Fuck you, you’re fucking crazy,” Billy said dismissively. “I ain’t staying here and listening to this.”

“I’m serious. I see her in your room again – “

“Screw you, I’m not talkin’ about this with you.” He reached for the front door and wrenched it open; it wasn’t until he was outside and headin’ down the walkway that he even checked to make sure he had his keys in his back pocket.

He did have his keys. He went to his car and started it up. He just sat there looking at the house and feeling crazy; shit got all spin-y for a couple seconds. What the fuck. _What the fuck,_ he said in his head. He sat there and looked at the house. His dad didn’t come outside and Billy was waiting for him to come outside.

Shit but he couldn’t really think that about him and Maxine. Could he really think that? It was too fucked up. He thought about his dad saying _Looks real nice, don’t she?_ and almost threw up; it was too fucking gross and it was too fucking creepy.

He couldn’t really think that. Did other people think that? Max was a little troll and she was gross as shit but she wasn’t his real sister; Billy knew people did fucked up shit all the time. God it made him feel so disgusting, thinking of someone thinking of them like that. What if his dad said some shit like that to Susan. He already had her thinkin’ Billy was a fucking rapist.

Billy put his car in drive; he felt like he was gonna fucking explode. He wanted to scream and punch shit like he’d felt all last year. So much for not wanting to do that again. His dad couldn’t really think that.

He turned and drove down Dearborn until he hit the main drag; he turned left instead of right so’s he wouldn’t have to go past the general store. He ended up not goin’ in for Max at all.

 

* * *

 

Max bitched her head off at him later for not gettin’ her from work like he’d said and then she bitched her head off at him even more when he wouldn’t let her in his room to listen to the record. His dad wasn’t even home anymore – the bar was good as home on a Saturday night – but Billy still felt crazy; it was like a disease or something.

“You can’t go in my fuckin’ room whenever you want, shithead, you annoy me,” Billy told her. He was lying on the couch after he’d dragged her away from his turntable.

“Screw you, YOU ANNOY ME!” Max went off at him at a level six immediately; she stomped off to her room and slammed her door at him twice. She was a piece of work.

He felt so fuckin’ gross and moody he couldn’t even go over to Harrington’s – it took a lot for that to happen. Anyway Steve was usually a cranky bitch after he’d been at his job an extra day. Not that Billy blamed him but he didn’t feel like gettin’ bitched at either when he already felt like a goddamn psycho. He went into his room and flopped down on his bed; he read stupid _Catch-22_ until he fell asleep.

The next morning he laid around alone in his room until about as late as he could. Even so once he got up Maxine was still hangin’ out in the kitchen. She gave him a mistrustful look as he poured himself his cereal.

“Can you give me a ride to work?” she asked him; it was past noon and the sun was shining all cheery.

Billy sat down across from her. “I ain’t a cab service.”

Max looked sulky as shit with her elbows on the table. He didn’t know why she was at the table; she wasn’t eatin’. “Whatever,” she said. “What happened, I thought I was supposed to look at that place with you yesterday.”

“Are you my girlfriend?” Billy asked her; Max rolled her eyes and ignored him being a prick.

“So are you going to get that one?”

He was eatin’ his cereal; it was Cocoa Puffs. “I guess.” He’d talked to the land lady for a long time and signed some paperwork; he had to go back and pay her. It’d been the place Joyce Byers had told him about and it didn’t cost too much. Really with the way he’d felt yesterday he’d probably take about anything.

“Okay, well, is it nice? Can I go see it?”

Billy didn’t answer her for a couple seconds. He could hear Neil and Susan gettin’ up finally; someone went into the bathroom. “Look, talk to me about this shit later,” he told her. “Ain’t you going to work, I’m tired of your mouth.”

Max looked even more sulky. She crossed her arms all sullen and glowered. “You’re a BUTTHOLE on your PERIOD!” she told him; that was the grossest thing he’d ever heard in his life. He wasn’t even yelling at her or nothing.

She grabbed the cereal box and wrenched it across the table so’s he couldn’t reach it without standing up and stalked off to her room again like a dramatic bitch.

Billy rolled his eyes at her back. He stood up and reached for the cereal again; he ate another bowl while Susan went around the kitchen making coffee. Billy don’t know what time she’d got in from work last night.

Maxine came stomping back into the kitchen like a troll with her red vest on. “Mom, can you give me a ride to work, Billy’s being a jerk to me!”

“I can take you,” Sue told her; she almost spilled her coffee as Max stormed by her. “Why are you yelling? It’s not your brother’s job to drive you around all the time.”

That was news to Billy actually; he rolled his eyes at Max rolling her eyes at her moms.

Max and Susan left; Billy finished his cereal and went off to Harrington’s before his old man got out of the shower and started his total crazy bullshit with him again. If Steve didn’t want to hang out with him or whatever maybe Byers would be at the arcade again. Shit at this point he’d even hang out with Henderson or one of the assholes from the basketball team.

Steve did want to hang out with him; he answered the door making a face. Luke and Leia were going crazy barking and crying out in the backyard. “They heard your car and flipped out, well, everyone can hear your damn car.” Billy hadn’t thought he’d been drivin’ that fast.

They went out back so that Billy could see the babies. Steve didn’t laugh at him too much anymore for going crazy over the dogs which Billy felt glad about; he still made a great face at Billy lettin’ Princess Leia lick his face for six minutes though.

“That’s so disgusting, wash your face before you get near me,” Steve said like a kiss from a dog meant you had AIDs or some shit. He was so prissy.

Billy was laying on the concrete by the pool; he laughed up at him. “I ain’t gettin’ near you, she gives better tongue than you.”

“SCREW YOU, she does not!” Steve said like a kid.

Billy ignored him. “When we havin’ a pool party?”

“My mom does this huge thing in July every year, you’d love that, it’s catered,” Steve told him. “You could meet all my mom’s family and they could tell you more horrible stories about me.” Billy liked the sound of that.

Steve talked for a while. He actually even talked more than usual maybe; Billy wondered if he was nervous about something. “What’d you do yesterday, I was thinking about you,” Steve told him all romantic. Somehow he was wearing yet another of Billy’s t-shirts. This was the Van Halen shirt he’d had since he was about 15; it was a little tight on him so it looked real good on Steve. Billy wished he’d have cut the sleeves off of that one.

Also Steve was still talking. “I actually called your house last night but your dad picked up, I just hung up like I was playin’ telephone.” He paused. “Is that okay, should I not have done that?”

“I pro’lly wasn’t home anyway.” He didn’t want to talk about his dad.

“Oh, okay. So what did you do?”

Billy told him about how he’d picked his book out for the research project and how he’d finally picked out an apartment. Harrington got real jazzed up about that and asked him about a million questions; it was almost too much. It was just an empty apartment so far, wasn’t even really his yet. He didn’t have any furniture or nothin’, couldn’t move in til mid-June. He still had a lot of paperwork to sign and a lot of money to hand over.

It felt like it should be a bigger deal. He didn’t even really feel excited about it like he should; goddamn he was in a fucking mood.

“You should let me buy you something real nice for it, OKAY, just one thing,” Steve said at Billy’s facial expression. “What did Max say about it?”

Billy shrugged. He didn’t feel like talkin’ about Max with Harrington; definitely didn’t feel like talkin’ about all the creepy weird fucked up shit his dad had said about him. He didn’t want to put that in Steve’s head. What if it made him look at him different.

Steve made a kind of weird face at him. “I thought she’d be like losing her mind over it.”

“I ain’t really seen her this weekend.”

“Oh, okay.”

“What?” Billy said; Harrington was giving him a weird look now too.

“Nothing, I was just thinking.” Now he just looked like a guilty puppy. “Okay, you know what, I, I lied to you before, I did make nachos without you.”

Billy looked at him for a long time and then started laughing; shit he was so cute. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to tell Harrington how fucking cute he was. “Yeah I already know you lied to me.”

“Oh.” Harrington looked all surprised. “Wait, how did you know?” he asked like he wasn’t the most obvious person on the planet when he was lyin’. “I mean, I know it’s totally stupid – “

“I think you should make it up to me, I feel really hurt,” Billy told him.

Steve laughed. “Um, okay, what do you want?” Billy had a couple ideas; he started smiling.

They went inside and Steve made it up to him (he actually made Billy wash his fuckin’ face before they kissed like a dramatic bitch) and then they laid around not doing anything until around five when Henderson appeared at the front door to torture them.

Henderson walked right past Steve into the foyer; Harrington blinked twice and looked at the sky like he was askin’ the Lord a question and closed the door.

“Oh, hey, it’s you, big surprise,” Henderson said when he saw Billy in the doorway of the living room. He grinned like an amused Wookie. “Do you ever have a shirt on, there’s no girls here to impress.” Haha.

Steve was rubbing his eyebrow. “Dustin, what are you doing here?”

“Where were you yesterday, I called you twice!”

“I told you I had to work, our computers were down.”

Henderson made an even bigger Wookie face. “Likely story,” he said all conspiratorially; Steve sighed. “Steve! Can I use you pool?”

“I, I, I guess,” Steve said. “Where’s Becca at?”

“She is babysitting her brother, I am not allowed over anymore when she does that.”

“You get caught?” Billy asked him.

Dustin totally missed the point as usual. “Yeah, Mrs. Canzano did not like me showing Tyler how to make a bottle rocket, I brought my science kit over there last week.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve muttered; Billy laughed.

Henderson fucked around in the pool for forever while Steve tried to keep Luke and Leia from jumping in; Billy lounged on one of the deck chairs with Steve’s ugly Raybans on.

Luke was by the edge of the pool lapping up a puddle of chlorine water; Henderson floated over and threw his arms around him and hugged him. “HI LUCAS,” he said like a total nerd. Luke licked his face too and almost toppled into the shallow end.

“Dustin, get the hell off him!” Steve commanded like a den dad. “STOP DRINKING THE POOL WATER,” he said to Luke. Dustin laughed and floated over to Billy.

“You look even worse than Steve in those,” Henderson told him; Billy pushed the sunglasses up and looked at him. Dustin was such a treasure. “Who scratched up your back this time?”

“Can’t remember,” Billy lied. Steve was smiling at the pool.

Billy didn’t smile. He still felt strange and annoyed even though he was over at Harrington’s like he wanted to be, untethered. He and Steve had been making out in the kitchen less than an hour before Henderson had invited himself over; one day they were going to get themselves fucking caught. Maybe sooner rather than later what with the way all the little shitheads seemed to think they lived there.

He stared over at Dustin flopping around in the pool like a dying whale and wondered what the kid’d do if he found ever out about them. About how much Billy liked Steve’s prick in his mouth, how much Steve seemed to like Billy’s prick in his own mouth. He wondered if Henderson would totally flip out and call them fucked up freaks, if he’d run off and tell everybody. Well of course he’d tell everyone; it wasn’t in his DNA to keep quiet for more than a minute. Henderson wasn’t as bad as some of the guys at school but he’d laughed at jokes about queers too, sissy girly boys. Everyone did it. He wondered if Henderson would ever speak to Steve again if he knew; if he’d call Steve a faggot or if he’d call him something worse.

Billy knew that he himself called everything a faggot too but he was trying not to do that anymore. It made him feel sick inside, sick and small. That was what he was; that was what he’d always been. He knew it every time he heard the guys on the team in the locker room, kids out in the hall at school. Laughing and making jokes. The things they’d say. It was the same shit he’d used to say.

Back in Riverside when he’d been going through the eighth grade for the second time, there’d been an older kid over at the high school who’d been gay. Got caught with another guy or something, someone in college already. A bunch of guys had beat him up so bad that he’d never came back to the school; in fact his whole family had moved away.

It’d be even worse here. Was weird; before Billy’d even been able to tell himself he was queer the worst thing in the world had been his old man finding out or thinking that. Now it was so much more. If the kids at school found out that he was messing around with Steve Harrington and thought about Steve’s hair all day and called him fucking _babe_ sometimes? Shit it’d be real bad for him here. Granted he only had about a month of school left but even so it’d be real bad for him. Harrington wasn’t in school anymore so maybe he didn’t care. It was like he didn’t get it.

He knew how people thought and he knew how bad it could get. Part of him was still wondering when Harrington would realize that and wisen up and get the fuck away from him. Part of him still thought it would be easier if he’d do that. Billy could be alone again; had been for a long time.

Really though he didn’t want to think about it; he didn’t want to think about people thinking about him like that. What they’d say about him, what they’d say about Steve. What they’d do to them. Maybe it was something he needed to think about but he really didn’t want to.

Why couldn’t he just have what he wanted without feelin’ bad or thinkin’ about what other people would say. He flipped Harrington’s stupid sunglasses back onto his face and watched as Steve lectured Dustin and the dogs.

They got a pizza a while later and then Henderson said he needed to watch Star Trek; he didn’t get cable at home.

Dustin talked his head off during the show anyway like Billy’d figured he would. He didn’t know why the kid’d been so insistent about them puttin’ it on. “Hey, where’s Max at?” he asked; Billy felt annoyed again in two seconds.

“How the fuck should I know?”

Henderson blinked. “Uh, she’s always with you,” he said; Billy felt more annoyed.

“I ain’t her keeper.”

“You’re going to miss _Unsolved Mysteries_ ,” Henderson pointed out. Apparently everyone knew Sunday night was fuckin’ family night at the Hargrove-Mayfield’s which was so lovely.

“Look, I dunno where the fuck she is, quit askin’ me shit.”

“Okay, okay, Jesus Christ.” Dustin took the last slice of pizza.

Steve was giving him a weird look. “Are you okay?”

“Sure am.”

“Did you guys get in another fight?”

Billy still didn’t feel like talkin’ about Max, especially with Henderson here to hear the shit. “No,” was all he said.

“Okay.” Steve gave him another little look and turned back to the television.

Henderson left at nine; Steve didn’t offer him a ride for once and Billy knew it was because Harrington wanted to stay with him. “Call you during lunch tomorrow!” Henderson yapped as he kicked his bike stand up and pedaled off into the night.

Steve was making a great face. “He doesn’t, he doesn’t actually do that all the time,” he said.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t really have to,” Steve said; he was locking up the front door. ”Are you hanging out with me tonight?”

“Guess so.” He really didn’t want to go home; even though he still felt real weird it was nice to not have to go home. He’d never really had that before. “Your mom coming back?”

“Nah, she’s gone for the week.”

“Okay.” Billy thought about it. “Can I shower here?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Billy showered in Steve’s fancy bathroom; he liked Harrington’s ritzy shampoo that smelled like cologne. He wondered how bad Steve would scream his head off if Billy used his razor and decided not to chance it.

By the time he’d finished showering he felt less weird again. In his room Harrington was crashed out on his bed wearing a cute little undershirt and watching _Unsolved Mysteries_. ”You missed ghosts,” he said without looking away from the TV. Billy flopped down on the bed too; Harrington put his leg over his. “So many murders in California, no wonder you’re screwed up.”

“S’a big state,” Billy said. He looked over at Harrington; he felt a little better looking at him.

They didn’t really hook up or anything which was kind of different because even now they almost always hooked up. They made out for a while as _Unsolved Mysteries_ was ending and then Steve laid against him and bitched his head off. It came detached so easily, Billy thought, cracking his shit up for a second.

“I’m so tired, I hate being at work on the weekends,” Harrington whined and whined. Billy massaged his shoulder and Steve kept on bitching. Apparently Linda his not-secretary was tryin’ to set him up with her niece; she was 22 and an accountant. “She thinks I need to meet someone, she won’t shut up about it.”

“Could take her out once, spill some drinks on her,” Billy said; Steve made a horrible face.

“Yeah, I, I’m not doing that, she’ll probably fall in love with me,” Harrington said; he laughed at Billy groaning and trying not to make a comment. “I have to see these people all week, I can’t deal with it on a freaking Saturday. I have to be so nice, it makes me tired.”

“I feel you.”

“I can’t even yell at nobody because my fuckin’ dad will hear about it.”

“You don’t gotta stay there forever, man.” He was getting okay at the comforting thing he thought.

“I know, I guess,” Steve said all moody.

“You do your application yet?” He knew Harrington’d know what he meant.

“Oh, my god, don’t start, I’m gonna get to it.”

“I’m just sayin’ – “ Steve covered Billy’s mouth with his hand; Billy licked his palm like a dog.

“Ugh, BILL, you’re SO fucking gross!” Steve moved his hand away and smacked Billy in the center of his chest pretty hard. It stung a little.

Interesting. Okay maybe he could hook up after all. “Hit me again,” Billy told him.

Harrington’s mouth dropped open for a moment and then he laughed. “No, you – I’m too tired to do that shit with you right now.”

“Fine,” Billy said like a sulky bitch.

“Um, you really want to?”

“Guess I’m okay.”

“Okay.”

Steve must have real been tired from all his complaining because he fell asleep in two seconds; he had Billy squished up against the wall like usual. Billy stayed up for a lot longer.

He looked out Steve’s window at the moon and listened to the crickets chirping outside. He thought about what Maxine might be doing and then wondered if he was being fucking creepy like his dad’d said.

He really didn’t know where the fuck she was or if she was even at home; she might be over at Beverly’s or something still. Even though he’d been out with Harrington all the time he guessed he still checked in on her at least once a day, lately anyway. The last time he hadn’t known where the fuck she was she’d gotten caught screwin’ around with Sinclair in her bedroom.

Billy made a face at the window; he felt fuckin’ annoyed in two seconds again. Little brat wasn’t his goddamn responsibility.

He was awake for a long time. He never slept too good at Harrington’s but he still liked being there even though Steve’s bed was too fucking small.

Steve kicked him twice and muttered in his sleep. He hadn’t really had any more nightmares or whatever since the first time Billy’d stayed over but he usually twisted and turned a lot and mumbled crazy stuff; it was too good. Once he’d grabbed Billy’s shirt and asked him in a sad voice where all the coffee’d went. Billy’d told him he drank it all. Another night he’d sat up a little and asked all serious, “Is that, like, real science? Warm and cold blooded?”

Asking Steve what the real science was like was Billy’s new favorite thing; Harrington got so fucking mad at him.

He laid in the bed and thought about stupid shit. He thought about work and the new Pontiac they’d got in and how annoying Hank’d been all this week talkin’ his head off like usual. He thought about school and how boring his classes were; he started thinkin’ about _Catch-22._ It was real funny so far and Billy was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was supposed to be about the war so he figured shit was gonna get heavy eventually.

At quarter-past one Steve flipped over and pressed his face against the side of Billy’s neck. His cheek was scratchy.

“I told you I already cleaned the fishtank,” he said in an annoyed voice.

Billy licked his lips. Jesus it was too good; Harrington had to be fucking faking. He stopped thinkin’ about _Catch-22_. “I know ya did,” he said.

“So stop asking me about it,” Steve said still in the annoyed and weird sleep-voice. He probably wasn’t faking; he sounded too weird. He was such a freaker.

“Are you sleepin’?” Billy asked him.

“Hmmm?” said Steve.

Billy grinned. “Do you know who you’re talkin’ to, man?”

Harrington didn’t answer him for a couple seconds and Billy figured he was done with his crazy sleep-talking shit. He could feel Steve breathing against him, felt his lips tic against his neck once. After another minute: “Of course I do,” he said all grumpy.

“Who you talking to?”

“Mm,” muttered Steve. He threw an arm across Billy’s chest all heavy. “Yeah, you – you’re my, you’re my guy.”

Damn. Billy couldn’t answer him for a second. He actually almost felt the real emotions. Maybe Steve thought he was talking to Keanu Reeves or some shit; actually Billy didn’t know what famous people Harrington was into. He remembered earlier how he’d thought he could be alone again; he didn’t think he could ever get the fuck over Harrington. ”Okay,” he said finally. “So go to sleep.”

Steve didn’t answer him; he started snoring super loud in Billy’s ear because he was real sexy like that. Billy put an arm over him and closed his eyes too.

 

Monday took forever to go by and Billy slept through most of his classes; by Tuesday he had to reconcile with himself that he might actually be getting sick or something. It was the curse of Hawkins spiraling back again. He didn’t really get sick too much but when he did it got pretty bad. He was gonna have to try not to act like a fuckin’ baby this time.

Wednesday morning he got up late and barely had time to get dressed before they had to get to school; Max sat perched in the passenger side of his car and stared over at him sweating and sniffling. She was making a terrible face like he was some kinda cockroach manning the driver’s seat.

“You look like total shit,” she told him with her usual amount of tact.

Billy’s eyes felt fuzzy and his head felt like it was underwater; it hurt his ears and made him feel off-center. The back of his throat ached in that dull way that meant it was going to hurt real bad pretty soon. He really wanted to go back to sleep. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Mike was sick last month for like a whole week during break, then Dustin had it,” Max informed him. She was just talking to him like he hadn’t been a piece of shit to her all week and beyond. “It was like a stomach thing too. You probably got it eating their food all the time.”

That was so great. He wondered if he’d gotten Harrington sick too. Jesus God he’d never hear the end of it if he had.

Max stared at him some more. “Are you going to start the car?” she asked like she was talkin’ to a toddler.

Billy thumped his head down on the steering wheel ( _beeeep!_ went the horn). “In a minute.”

The day dragged on. In study hall Henderson gave him a wide berth; he sat all the way at the other end of the table for once.

“Go away,” Billy told him like usual.

“Unfortunately that’s not an option for you today, Rebecca has banned me from her table,” Dustin told him. “Actually her friends banned me, they are all studying for this history test and APPARENTLY I’m very distracting.”

“Mrrrgh,” Billy said.

Henderson looked amused which wasn’t nice. “What?”

“I think he said, you’re not distracting, you’re irritating,” said Angela Davis from beside him; she was stressing herself out lookin’ over Billy’s old test papers. ”You should be banned from _this_ table too.” She was so smart.

Dustin ignored her; he started poking Billy in the head like a goddamn savage. Billy smacked him hard and Dustin laughed. “Oh yeah, you definitely have the flu.” Apparently he’d been talking to Maxine already; Billy didn’t answer him. “You kinda look like that zombie from _Day of the Dead_ , you know that one that liked the rock music?”

“Fuck you,” Billy muttered. He put his head down on the tabletop; it felt cold and nice.

Henderson laughed his head off because he was a terrible person. “You probably shouldn’t be at school, did you throw up yet?”

“Ugh, please!” said Angela. Dustin looked pleased to be grossing out a new innocent girl.

“I had the runs for like two days, you can look forward to that too.”

“Yeah, that already happened,” Billy said into the tabletop.

“OH, MY GOD, BILLY! I’M NOT SITTING HERE AND LISTENING TO THIS!” Angela squealed; she snatched up his papers and ran off clutchin’ her bag.

Billy laughed until he coughed and then he gagged. “Oh, shit.”

“What, is it happening again?” Henderson asked him in delight.

“Fuck you,” Billy said. He stalked off to the bathroom.

Monday and Tuesday he’d gone to work; Wednesday Hank sent him home early and Thursday he wouldn’t let Billy work at all. “Kid, you looked like you was dyin’ yesterday, right now you look actually dead,” he said. ”Go away, come back on Monday when ya feel better.”

Billy tried not to cough all over the counter. “Gimme like two hours, I got shit to do.” His least favorite thing ever was to be home when he was sick anyway and he didn’t want Hank to think he was a bad employee.

“Just go home and fuckin’ relax for once,” Hank told him. “No, don’t fuckin’ breathe in here either,” he said when Billy opened his mouth to protest. “This is for my benefit, Bill, I’m too goddamn old, I smoke too much. That shit you got’ll put me in the hospital.”

“You ain’t that old,” Billy lied.

Hank laughed at him. “Get outta here.”

Billy left in a big sulk; it was only half past five and he didn’t know what else to do now. He went on down to the general store to bug Maxine; his old man couldn’t make him feel like shit all the time especially when he already felt like shit.

Joyce Byers let him sit on a milk crate behind the checkout counter. She chattered on away to him while she stocked up the shelves and Max took over the register. “Congrats on your apartment, are you excited?” Apparently she didn’t think he was molesting Max like his dad thought or whatever.

“What, are you bothering me today?” Max asked him all mistrustful. She rang an old man up for a pair of tube socks and four boxes of Frosted Cheerios.

“Thought I always bothered you,” Billy said. He felt like a little kid sittin’ behind the counter; he’d used to do it when his mom’d been at work. He wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Max considered him with a strange glance; her mouth made a funny shape. He thought she might be feeling sorry for him. “Okay. You may use my Walkman for _one_ hour,” she told him. She made him feel bad; he knew he was bein’ a prick to her.

The only CD she had on her was _First and Last and Always_ by The Sisters of Mercy which was okay. Kid liked so much weird shit; Billy didn’t know how she could go from listenin’ to this to Madonna to Siouxsie Sioux to fuckin’ Foreigner. He listened to the CD for an hour and watched Max count out her register drawer.

“Can you go to the diner with me?” Max asked him. She broke a roll of pennies open and thunked them down into the till. “I want to see Lucas.”

“Whatever.”

Max took that for the affirmation that it was. They said goodbye and goodnight to Joyce and set off down Main Street. The sun was too bright; it was almost evening. “You should really go home and sleep,” Max told him.

“How can I sleep?” Billy asked her. Being sick was always a picnic when Billy’s dad was home. Max knew he was at home; it was why they weren’t going there.

Max shrugged at him all moody. “I’m just saying.”

At the diner three out of four creepy kids were already there; Billy still didn’t really think that he or Harrington counted yet as real club members. Anyway they wasn’t kids. Billy didn’t steal anyone’s fries and everyone stared at him.

“He looks like total crap, why’d you bring him here?” Sinclair asked Max all dramatic like Billy was her huge 19-year-old baby. The three of them were squished together on one side of the booth and Max and Sinclair looked like his bi-racial parents squabbling over him. Even with a fever he cracked his shit up.

“He DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, what else am I supposed to do with him?” Max asked also like Billy was her huge 19-year-old baby. Billy rested his chin on the table; Max patted his head like he was a little puppy.

“Jesus, get offa me!”

Henderson and Byers were eating a huge plate of mozzarella sticks; on any other day Billy’d have inhaled half of them already and been gettin’ beat on by the kids.

Will stared at him some more. He’d gotten a haircut sometime over the last week and he looked like way less of a gay Beatle; that was a good thing but somehow Billy didn’t think Byers’d take it as a compliment if he said it. He managed not to say it. Will said, “Um, you do look not-so-great.”

“Damn, don’t you know just what to say to a guy,” Billy told him; Byers smiled for a half a second.

“Are you okay?”

“Peachy.” Watching Henderson shovel fried cheese into his mouth was kinda making Billy want to puke again.

“You don’t, I mean you aren’t, you don’t have to come to the movies tomorrow night,” Will said, “if you still don’t feel good.”

Billy’d already forgot about the movies; he actually felt bad. Byers looked all sad and shit.

“I can still go.”

“What, and cough everywhere and get us kicked out?” That was Maxine.

“Screw off,” Billy said. He wiped his nose on his sleeve again.

“Billy! That’s gross!” Max yapped. She turned her attention back to Will. “Don’t worry, I’ll still go with you.”

“Okay.” Byers looked even more glum; Billy didn’t blame him.

The creepy kids talked and talked while Billy suffered; he coughed and spat into eighty napkins. There was so much snot; it was overwhelming. He was like ninety-percent mucus at this point. ”BILLY!” Max went in at him. “THAT’S SO DISGUSTING!”

“The fuck you want me to do?”

At around half-past seven the diner door jingled and Harrington came in flanked by Wheeler Jr and Nancy. He was talking and laughing to both of them which was truly wonderful. Really Billy was too tired to feel jealous. Okay almost.

The boys headed over to the table and Nancy made a beeline for her preppy girlfriends over by the counter. Harrington was wearing possibly the dorkiest shirt Billy’d ever seen in his life. It was a yellow polo with black stripes on it; Billy wondered how the fuck they’d ever even hooked up in the first place. Then Steve looked up and smiled and Billy remembered.

Steve stopped smiling. “Wow, you look like total dogshit, man,” he told Billy; he was full of endless compliments like usual.

“He knows,” said Henderson and Sinclair.

Harrington ignored them; he sat down and started eating what was left of the mozzarella sticks. “Oh, my god, Steve, are you serious, that’s my dinner!” said Henderson.

Harrington ignored him some more. “How long have you been like this?”

“You ain’t get sick this week?” Billy asked him. He coughed into his napkin some more.

“I’m very strong, I take a multivitamin,” Steve said. Of course he did. Max made a great face and started laughing at him. “What?” Steve said. “Did you go to school like this?” he asked Billy like a den dad.

“We never stay home when we’re sick, ESPECIALLY BILLY,” Max said telling all their business like usual.

“Okay, Max,” Billy said.

Wheeler Jr was making one of his shit-faces; there was no room at the table so he was just standing there like a dope. He also had a very ugly shirt on but that was nothing new. “Why not? You probably infected half the senior class.”

“You infected _me_ , shithead.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yeah ya did.”

“Uh, no, my germs want _nothing_ to do with your germs, you total dork – ”

“Oh, MY GOD, do you guys ever stop?” Max exclaimed. She started yapping her head off like a huge moron. “Billy’s dad loves it when he’s sick, he gets off on torturing him. The last time he had a stomach virus, he made him clean out the whole garage!”

Wheeler Jr made an even bigger shit-face; he stopped screaming about his selective germs. “Are you serious?” he said.

“I had to do it anyway.”

“Don’t worry, I helped him,” Max put in. She really had; she hadn’t needed to do that.

“Yeah, you were a good kid,” Billy said. He was too tired to finish the rest of the sentence which was _Dunno what happened_. He put his head back on the table.

All the creepy kids and also Steve stared at him saying something nice. Billy opened one eye threateningly. “ _Fucking_ what?”

“Nothing!”

Around eight Sinclair said he had to go home; it was a struggle for him and Max to shove Billy out of the booth so he could get out. Byers and Henderson got up too to get even more food and to save Mike from where he was wasting away at the counter with Nancy and her girlfriends.

“So are you going to school tomorrow?” Steve asked him still like a den dad. “I think you should stay home, you look really terrible.”

He was truly too sweet; Billy’s heart couldn’t take it. “Hell no I ain’t stayin’ home,” he said.

“Okay, but you can’t go to school, you look like a zombie.”

Billy wondered if Harrington’d been phased out and thinkin’ about his hair or something while Maxine’d been blabbing all his business. “I can’t stay home, my fuckin’ dad’s there.”

“What, all day?” Harrington got the frown-wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“He’s going back out on the road on Sunday,” Max told him. “He’s been at home all week.”

“Oh. Okay.” The frown-wrinkle deepened. “Bill, you look like you’re going to pass out.”

“I’m not gonna pass out.” He told Harrington, “You look like a fuckin’ bumble bee.”

Steve looked down at his dorky shirt and smiled. “Oh, you like this? I wore it for you.”

“Fuck off.”

“Ooh, he’s grumpy tonight,” Steve said to Max.

“Isn’t he always?” Max patted him again like Billy was her little dog.

“QUIT TOUCHIN’ ME!” Billy roared in agony.

Harrington kept on staring at him. Billy stared back and wiped his nose on his sleeve again. Usually he liked Steve looking at him but not right now when he felt like dogshit and apparently looked like the zombie from _Day of the Dead_. Steve said, “You can hang out at my place if you want.”

Max’s eyes got real big and she drank her soda. Billy said, “Yeah, no thanks.”

“Don’t you have work?” Max asked him.

Steve shrugged. “I have a half day. It’s Friday. I can come home and take care of him.”

“Fuck off,” Billy said again. Maxine looked even more devious.

“What, I’m serious. Just come over in the morning and I’ll let you in, you can hang out on my couch til you feel better.”

Billy didn’t really see how Harrington’d get any perks from havin’ him over coughing on all his fancy furniture. “Thanks, I’m good.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Just come over, it’s not a big deal. If you can’t stay home – “

“Said I’m fine.”

The creepy kids were coming back over; Henderson had a huge plate of cheese fries now and Billy’s stomach lurched again. Mike trailed behind with his hands in his pockets. “Can you give us a ride back home?” he asked Harrington.

“Yeah, sure.” He looked at Billy and Max in a weird way. “Uh. Their car broke down.”

“Likely story,” Maxine said darkly; Billy sighed internally until he’d reached a higher plane of the mind. The higher plane had less creepy kids and central air conditioning.

Harrington got up and gave the booth seat back to Will and Dustin. He reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet; he left a few dollars on the table even though he hadn’t ordered anything. “Just come over, I’m serious,” he said to Billy.

Billy coughed at him; Steve rolled his eyes. He and Wheeler went and collected Nancy – it’d been over a year and Billy hadn’t managed to come up with any fun nicknames for her. Nancy put her arm around Mike and he made a big production of tryin’ to shake her off. She didn’t touch Harrington though which was okay.

Max was leaning and looking at Billy. “So are you gonna go?” she asked him.

“No.”

“Go where?” Billy’s face was on the table again but he could tell it was Henderson talkin’.

“Steve told him to hang out at his house while he’s at work.” Maxine continued to spread Billy’s business all around.

“Wait, so you could be in Steve’s huge house WHILE HE’S NOT EVEN THERE TO YELL AT YOU?” asked Henderson. “That sounds so great, you have to do it! His mom has a jacuzzi tub, it is REALLY nice.”

“What? You’re _so weird,_ ” Maxine told him; Byers was laughing at both of them.

“It’s not weird, it has like fifty jet streams, it’s so cool! I used it twice!”

“Oh, my god, no one wants to think about you in the stupid tub – “ Max said; Billy almost threw up again. “SEE? You’re going to KILL HIM!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy begged them; the kids did not shut the fuck up. They never would. Max and Dustin went in at each other for a couple minutes and then Max slammed her soda down.

“Okay, I’m bored without Lucas here,” she announced. She looked at Billy. “Can we go?”

“Whatever,” Billy said. “Later,” he said to the remaining creeps, mostly Byers.

“See you later,” said Byers all glum. Henderson had a whole burger in his mouth so he just waved.

 

It was too hot in his bedroom; he laid atop of his blankets all night sweating and listening to the bugs outside, the sound of his old man watchin’ the TV. His head hurt a lot and his throat felt raw; he was definitely ninety-five percent mucus. Everytime he’d fall asleep it’d feel like he was falling down a flight of stairs and he’d wake right up again. He finally fell asleep right before he had to get up which is what usually happened when you had to be at school.

It took about a million years to get dressed and he probably really needed to shower. He made a face in the mirror; he had circles under his eyes and his nose was all red. He looked like a great big dope.

Sue had left for work early and Billy’s old man was in the kitchen; Maxine said she could threaten some Poptarts off of Henderson and they set off to Billy’s car.

“You should totally go to Steve’s,” Max told him.

“Man, that’s weird.”

Max gave him a look that said he was totally dumb. “Uh, the guy you like said he wants you to go to his house, YOU SHOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE! He has _central air conditioning_ ,” she pointed out.

That sounded pretty nice. Even so: “I dunno.”

“Oh, my god, just go, why are you being all weird?” Max asked him. “This is a good opportunity for you!”

Billy wiped his nose on his sleeve. “Yeah, how could he keep his hands offa me.”

“Okay, you’re gross,” Max said. “You should still go, AT LEAST hide out there until your stupid dad leaves!”

He didn’t answer her for a couple seconds; he thought about his old man saying _Looks real nice, don’t she?_ and felt even sicker.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. What was he supposed to do. How was he supposed to stay away from Max and also keep her away from his fucking dad.

He put the car in drive finally. “Okay, what you gonna do this weekend?”

“What do _you_ care?” Maxine fired off at him instantly.

Jesus she was fucking exhausting. “Just fucking tell me what you’re doing.”

“Don’t worry, I’m _not_ sneaking around with Lucas,” she said; she didn’t know what he meant and he was glad for it. “I have the movies with Will, remember?” Billy looked over at her and she rolled her eyes. “And I’ll ... probably sleep at Bev’s, I have to work all weekend.”

“How you gettin’ to the movies?”

Max made a face. “Jonathan’s taking us in his crappy car.”

Billy guessed that was okay. “Okay,” he said.

“Will really wanted you to go, I think he’s really sad,” Max told him. Billy didn’t know why; all the creepy kids said he was too annoying at the movies. He laughed at shit too much. “Just go to Steve’s, it’s not fair that you have to go to school!”

A lot of shit wasn’t fair but maybe he should go to Harrington’s; he felt about the worst that he had in a long time and Steve’d said _Just come over_ like three times. Billy wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I guess.”

Max got all jazzed up for him even though he looked and felt like a dying slug; he didn’t foresee himself seducing Harrington any time in the near future. He dropped her off in front of the high school and drove himself down to Fairview Ave. Steve’s car was the only one in the driveway; even so Billy felt weird as fuck walkin’ up the driveway at seven-thirty in the morning. He almost felt nervous; if he wasn’t so sick he’d probably feel nervous. It was too stupid.

Harrington answered the door before he’d even knocked; he was putting his tie on and it looked like a disaster. “Hey! You look … better,” he lied. He opened the door up so Billy could come inside. “I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

Billy felt even weirder (and still sweaty). “Can go if you want.”

“Nope, not what I meant.” Harrington was rolling his eyes in a familiar way. He felt Billy’s forehead like he was a little kid.

“Get offa me.” He tried to push the hand away.

Steve ignored him. “Yeah, you are really hot.”

Billy leaned against the wall in what he felt was a provocative way. He sniffled twice. “Oh yeah? Tell me ‘bout it.”

“I mean you have a fever, shithead!” Haha. Steve rolled his eyes again. “So do you wanna hang out in my room or, you could stay down here too, no one’s gonna be home.”

Being in Harrington’s room while he wasn’t there was definitely way too much. “I’ll stay down here.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Steve got him set up in the den; he gave him a blanket and a pillow even though Billy said he didn’t need a blanket and a pillow. The blanket had a huge German Shepherd’s face on it. “That’s my mom’s favorite from when I was a kid, don’t throw up on it,” Steve said like a total dork.

Billy was too tired to think up a funny comment. “You don’t mind me crashing here?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I didn’t see you all week. We can do something fun later if you feel better.” Billy hoped something fun involved blowjobs.

“You ain’t gonna be too busy drivin’ around your little girlfriend?”

Steve stared at him blankly and then made a face. “Okay, that’s not – they were just walking and I drove right past them, what was I supposed to do?” Billy didn’t answer him. Steve said, “It’s nothing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, do you need food? Do you take medicine? Did you take something at home?” Harrington fired off his questions; he’d gone off the den dad deep end full into Mr. Mom territory in two seconds.

“Nah, I don’t take medicine, man.” He covered himself with the German Shepherd blanket.

Steve stared at him again. “Of course you don’t take medicine, why would you ever do anything sensible.” Truly Billy felt nagged. “Umm. Okay. Lemme see what we have here.”

“No, said I don’t – “ He’d already disappeared or maybe Billy’d been talkin’ slow; he felt real fuzzy again. It still felt too hot in here. He kicked his Converse off and looked at the big German Shepherd face. He wondered if it was supposed to be Luke or Leia.

Harrington came back in after another minute; he had his tie on the right way now. “Do you want night or day stuff?”

“I don’t take that shit, man.”

“Okay, come on. You’ll feel so much better – “

“No,” Billy said like an annoying baby; Steve made a face and climbed on Billy on the couch. “GET OFFA – “

“Stop being a baby, it’s cherry!” Somehow he had a knee on Billy’s chest; Billy slugged him in the hip.

“I know it’s fuckin’ cherry – “

“PEOPLE DIE FROM THE FLU, ASSHOLE!” Steve told him like a crazy person.

Billy struggled with him; Steve was real heavy. “I’m fucking fine, get off me!”

“Wow, you can’t even fight me off right now, this is so funny – “

“Harrington, I will rip _every_ single follicle of your fuckin’ pretty boy hair out – “

“Oh, my god, Bill, just take the medicine and I’ll leave you alone, you look like a fucking corpse.” Steve was trying to twist the cap off; he looked like he was gonna pour it down Billy’s throat like in a cartoon.

Billy struggled with him for a couple minutes. He dimly remembered that no one was allowed to tell him what to do. “No, I don’t want it, you bossy – “ Steve put his whole hand over Billy’s face so Billy bit him.

“OH, MY GOD! You are _so_ annoying – “

“No, man, I can’t take that _shit,_ ” Billy told him; he was twisting Steve’s arm behind his back now. “HEY, get the FUCK off me, prick – “

“You’re such a baby, I can’t believe you fuckin’ bit me – “

“ – smells like my mom’s fucking medicine, I will _fuckin’ throw up_ all over your stupid blanket – “

Harrington stopped fighting with him. “What, are you serious?”

“Yeah, I will throw up on you – ” He was pretty sure he could make himself do it.

“No, I mean – “

Billy knew what he meant; he was too tired to lie about it. He knew he was being a fucking baby too. ”Yeah, was this shit they gave her when she came home. Dunno why they couldn’t give her fuckin’ pills. Smelled like that cherry syrup they give kids, I can’t take it.”

“Okay, I didn’t know that. Fine, sorry.” He’s sat up and moved away a little; Billy’d got his shirt all wrinkled up. He sat looking and frowning at Billy.

“You done feeling me up?”

“I guess.” Harrington looked all sad and shit; Billy hadn’t wanted him to look like that. But he really didn’t want the fucking medicine. “Sorry. You just, you look really bad.”

“Nah, m’fine.” The room was pretty dark and he felt good in here with the air conditioning and the stupid blanket now that Harrington wasn’t fucking climbing on him.

“Okay.” Steve stood up again. “I’m only gonna be gone for like five hours, you can eat something if you want. You need something before I go?”

Billy thought about it. “Can I see the dogs?” he asked like a kid.

“You – “ Steve rolled his eyes; he had his Billy-is-amusing face on though. ”Okay, yeah, I guess they can come in.” He disappeared again and then a few seconds later Billy heard the pups skittering around on the kitchen floor. They crashed all around in the living room (“HEY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Steve said) and then they found him in the den and went ballistic.

“HAHAHA!” Billy said as they jumped on him; it hurt his throat. He let Leia lick his snotty face.

“Oh, my god, that’s so disgusting, I’m leaving,” Steve said. “Oh! Tissues.” He threw a box at Billy.

“Thanks.”

Harrington went off to work and Billy laid around on the couch. Steve’d left the TV on for him but it made his head hurt so he turned it off after a couple minutes.

He felt too hot and then too cold; his throat hurt real bad. He was glad he hadn’t gone to school. He fell asleep and had a horrible dream about Maxine decorating his apartment with George Michael posters; it felt like a serious premonition.

He woke up twice, once because Luke jumped up on the couch with him and then again when the dogs were skittering and yapping away over something in the kitchen. He still felt fuzzy and dizzy so maybe he’d dreamed that too; he should have gotten up and checked it. He fell asleep again and dreamed that he was eatin’ Eggo waffles out in the woods, then the woods turned into the movie theater and he was watching _Grease_ again with his mom.

When he woke up again it was to Harrington tossing his keys and a big bag down on the end table; Billy startled and nearly fell off the couch.

“Hey, sorry,” Steve said. “Are you doin’ okay?” He wandered over to where Billy was layin’. “Really? Hey? Hello? Anything?” he said to the dogs; Leia wagged her tail twice and got off the couch to go to him. “This is cute, you guys look like you’re in a fricking calendar or something.”

Steve was so weird. “What time s’it?”

“It’s past one, I went to a couple places.” He had a weird look on his face. “Did ... my mom talk to you?”

“Uh?” Billy said all eloquent. “She here?”

“No, you – I guess she was, you didn’t her see?”

“Don’t think so.” He was pretty looped up but he thought he’d have remembered it if Steve’s mom had came in wearin’ one of her fancy dress-suits and talked to him.

“Oh, that’s weird, well, she made you soup,” Steve told him. “She also left me a note in the kitchen sayin’ I should put you in a bedroom instead of leaving you on the couch to die.”

He was sitting up and rubbing his face a little; there was something dried near his eyebrow and he wasn’t sure if it was snot or his drool or the dogs’. “Ain’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“You – no, it’s fine, she doesn’t care if you stay here.” Steve looked like a grumpy bitch. “Hasn’t made me any soup in like a year but, you know, whatever, it's, it's fine. I don’t care.”

“You can eat it,” Billy told him. Probably he’d never eat again in his life. Okay so he got a little dramatic when he didn’t feel good.

“Nah, it’s fine. I got you stuff.” Steve started rifling through the plastic bag he’d got.

“What you get me?” Billy asked suspiciously.

Steve laughed a little. “God, why do act like – okay, will you do grape?” He waved a bottle in Billy’s face; it was some kinda cold medicine.

“Is that all you got me?”

“No, I got groceries too, I got stuff you like.” He shoved the bottle at Billy again. “I went to like three places for this so you should take it.”

Fuck he was so bossy. “Man, you didn’t have to do that shit.”

“You bother me, it’ll knock you right out.” Harrington was making one of his fucking pretty boy faces at Billy; he really wanted him to take the medicine.

Billy felt in a big sulk. The thought of Steve goin’ around to three different stores for him made him feel weird as shit; he was too sick to handle it. “All right, whatever.”

“Yeah? Okay, so you just – “ Harrington was peeling the security tape off the bottle; Billy snatched it from him and opened it.

“How much do I take, like a quarter?”

“Uh, yeah, no, you’re supposed to – “ He made a great face and then a horrified one as Billy chugged half the bottle. “Okay, okay, okay, Jesus!“ He wrestled it away.

Billy was pretty sure he was making a face. “S’really bad,” he said.

“Great, you’re going to be so looped up – “ Harrington was so fucking adorable; people took way more shit than that to get high off of.

“Think I’ll be okay.”

Harrington made him go and take a shower before he got too fucked up; he gave Billy a shirt to wear and let him lay down in his bed. Billy felt kind of numb which was weird but it also meant his throat didn’t hurt so bad. He stretched out on the bed and combed his fingers through Steve’s hair. “You can go out if you want.”

Steve looked at him like he was funny; he didn’t look too bothered that Billy was playin’ with his hair even though he was all snotty and kept coughin’ on him.

Really Billy thought he was so handsome. Maybe not like a movie star but he looked so good. He was kinda like a painting too or whatever.

“Where would I go, I’m literally always with you.”

“Sorry,” Billy said. He said, “I’m tired.”

“Go to sleep, I have to clean the house.”

Billy was too tired to make an emasculating comment. “You gonna check on me?”

“Yeah, I’ll check on you.”

“Don’t work too hard,” Billy said and fell asleep.

 

He woke up a couple times; sometimes Harrington was there staring at him and sometimes he wasn’t. At one point he thought he went downstairs and ate four pieces of toast but that might’ve not really happened. When he woke up again for real Steve told him it was past noon on Saturday; Billy couldn’t believe it. Somehow he didn’t have a shirt on anymore. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah, I think you were in a coma for a while. Do you feel any better?”

Billy sat up; everything spun. He still felt really sweaty. He waited for his head to start pounding but it didn’t hurt anymore. “I think so,” he said.

“You woke up like four times and said weird shit to me, it was really beautiful.”

Billy felt true slight terror. “Shut the fuck up.”

Steve laughed. “I’m just kidding,” he lied. “You should try to eat something.”

“Okay.” Somehow he followed Steve to the kitchen; everything he pulled out of the fridge looked totally unappealing so Billy guessed he was still sick. He sat at the counter looking at Harrington; he looked about a thousand miles away. “My head feels big.”

“You’re good, it’s still smaller than your ego,” Steve told him. He was so hilarious. He made Billy some breakfast and made him take more medicine; Billy took a normal amount this time. They laid around on the couch in the den and Steve watched the news like he was a weird old person.

“Are you too bored?” Steve asked him.

“Huh-uh.” He had his head in Steve’s lap; it felt good there. Not in a sexy way but just like normal. Steve combed his fingers through Billy’s hair for a while.

Harrington was still hungry so he went out a little later to get food; Billy got both the dogs up on the couch with him and slept some more. He still didn’t have a shirt on and he kept feeling too hot and then too cold. When he woke up again Steve was being a traitor and eating Chinese food without him.

“What, I got you stuff too,” he said. “I got you movies, they have _Blood_ in the title so you’ll probably like them.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He ate some more toast because even though Harrington was a traitor he didn’t think he could handle Chinese food right now. His teeth felt fuzzy so he went back upstairs and brushed them; when he came back down Steve was finally finished eating. They watched _My Bloody Valentine_ and Billy got to lay on him some more.

Steve touched him a lot even though he was sick and contagious. He ran his hands over Billy’s chest and his stomach and he got a hand up under the back of his neck which felt nice. His t-shirt smelled really good. When Billy got his apartment they could do this shit all the time.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Steve said; Billy hadn’t realized he’d been talking out loud. No more medicine, he decided.

Steve was watching him and not the movie. “Quit lookin’ at me, dickhead.”

“Yeah, I can’t help it.” Harrington started up with his romantic shit. “You look, you know you look really good.”

“Thought I looked like I was dyin’.”

“You look okay, your face is way less red now,” Steve told him kindly. “You look like an angel or something,” he said like a total dork.

Billy moaned with Steve saying his corny shit. “Shut the fuck up, I can still throw up on you.”

“Okay, okay.” He looked like Billy was being funny. “You never let me be nice to you, you might like it.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Billy told him again like a grumpy bitch.

“You shut up, I’m watching the TV.”

By Sunday he felt almost human again; his head didn’t hurt so much and he wasn’t covered in sweat anymore.

The room was empty and the alarm clock near Steve’s bed said it was past noon already. Billy sat up and put his jeans back on. He checked out the window; still no other cars were in the driveway so he cautiously ventured out into the hallway.

Out by the stairwell he could hear Harrington talking and talking to someone. Steve wandered out from the living room and gave him a weird tight smile; he was on the phone with the cord all stretched out.

“Yeah, I know,” Steve said into the phone. “Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. No, Mom’s not here.”

He was probably talkin’ to his old man. “No, I know,” he said. “Yeah, I know.” It sounded like a great conversation.

Billy went down the stairs; Steve tugged him over by his belt-loops for a second. He was wearing the new amazing glasses again. “Do you want coffee?” he said. He made a face and said into the phone, “NO, NOT YOU!”

Billy went into the kitchen to get coffee. He could still hear Steve talkin’.

“No, it’s fine. No. No, I have a friend over. Nope, it’s not a girl! Oh, my god, it’s not Dustin, I have other friends that aren’t fifteen-year-olds.” Steve sighed all loud; it made Billy grin. “No, he’s not twelve, he turned fourteen a YEAR ago, people do this weird thing, it’s called aging – okay, okay. Yeah, I know. YEAH, I KNOW. No, I’m not, you are! Okay, okay. Okay, I guess. Okay. Okay, I guess. Yeah, if you want. Okay.” It went on and on.

Finally Steve wandered into the kitchen; Billy was eating the Chinese food from last night. “Bill, that’s gross, I coulda made you breakfast.”

“Dim sum,” Billy said.

Harrington looked amused at him. “Okay, I guess, sure. That’s disgusting but okay.” He said, “Hey, you look a lot better.”

“Thanks, I feel okay. That your dad on the phone?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Sounded more pissed off than when you talk to your moms.”

“Oh.” Now he looked thoughtful. “Yeah, I guess so. He wants me to go to dinner with him, he remembers me like every other month.”

Billy ate more Chinese food. “Okay, so I gotta jet?”

“You don’t have to go for a while, he has to finish his – “ Steve made a face – “golf game.”

“That’s so great, you should go with him,” Billy said happily; Steve rolled his eyes.

Billy took another shower; Steve’s shampoo made his hair all big. They watched _Blood Feast_ in Steve’s room and then Billy figured he should probably go soon. It was gettin’ close to five o’clock.

“Hey, can I borrow a shirt?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

He rummaged through the dresser. One perk of bein’ with a guy was that they had clothes you could wear. Then again this was Harrington so the selection of wearable stuff was pretty depressing. “Jesus, do you have anything that doesn’t have a fuckin’ collar on it?“ Finally he found some kinda shirt that wasn’t a polo; it was black with gray sleeves and it had a pocket on the front which was sad but manageable. Steve said, “That looks good on you.”

“Thanks, tell me how good.”

Steve laughed at him. “Uh, no, you don’t need me to feed your ego.”

“But it’s so hungry,” Billy said; Steve laughed at him some more. Billy guessed he was bein’ cute or something.

They went back downstairs and stood hanging out in the front hallway for a couple minutes.

“Thanks for lettin’ me crash here, man,” Billy said. Now that he was leaving, he felt all awkward again for some reason. He didn’t know how to say thanks. It felt too - emotional or intimate or some shit. Steve’d let him stay here all weekend. “Means a lot.”

“Yeah. Sure, no problem.” Harrington was just lookin’ at Billy with his big eyes and Billy wondered if he was supposed to kiss him or something. He wanted to; he slugged him on the shoulder instead.

Steve rolled his eyes and smiled. Shit he was a good sport. “Ow, thanks, Bill," he said. "You know you could say _bye_ to me a little nicer." He totally wanted to get kissed.

“I’m contagious,” Billy reminded him.

“That's okay. I have a really good immune system,” Steve told him confidentially.

Jesus he was too much. “Later, man."

“Okay. Okay, see ya.” To his credit, Harrington didn't look totally disappointed in Billy's complete inability to be a normal fuckin' person.

Billy got in his car and then decided he didn’t really want to go home yet; he drove around for a long time. He wondered where the weekend had gone. Felt like he’d been asleep for about half of it.

He felt too fucking dumb; he should have just kissed Harrington goodbye like he’d wanted to. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do when you were with someone? Felt like he never knew how to do the right thing. Steve’d been all bummed to go and see his dad too.

Damn. Anyway it wasn’t like Billy was gonna drive back there just to kiss him. He was still about fifty-percent mucus after all. He’d probably sneeze into Harrington’s mouth.

It was past six which was still too early; Billy felt kinda restless. He guessed he was feeling better. He drove by the movie theater and decided to go in for no real reason. Had to be somethin’ halfway decent playing.

Out front the ticket window was closed for the night already so Billy went on in. The long entryway of the theater was empty aside from a tired mom and her pack of toddlers over by the crane machines, a janitor sweeping the adjacent hallway where the little bathrooms were. The blue-and-burgundy carpeting was thin and a little faded; one gold-toned overhead light was buzzin’ away too loud.

Two people were across the lobby manning the concession stand; one of them was an older college-aged girl lookin’ bored as shit and one was Will Byers. Billy went on over.

Byers was either counting in or counting out his register drawer; he didn’t notice Billy right away so Billy leaned against the counter. “Hey, Night of the Living Dead.”

Will glanced up and promptly dropped his roll of quarters on the floor. “Oh! Hey!” He fumbled on the ground to get it; when he popped back up his eyes were real big. “What, what are you doing here?”

Billy smiled slowly. “This ain’t the shooting range?”

Byers made a little face; Billy didn’t know him as well as he knew Harrington or Maxine so he didn’t know what the face was. “Right, stupid question, sorry.”

“I didn’t know you worked here, man.”

“Um, y-yeah. This is my, second week. I wanted to help my mom out a little.”

Truly he was a sweetheart; Billy felt impressed by him again. “How’s it been?”

Will thunked his quarters into the drawer. “Oh. Not that bad. Mostly the annoying people just come in on the weekend.” Billy grinned at him. “Uh – not you – ! So you – uh, you look a lot better now.“

Billy wondered what he looked like wearin’ Harrington’s fancy shirt with his hair all big from Harrington’s fancy shampoo. “Yeah, I feel better. Sorry I missed the movie.”

“That’s okay,” said Will. “Um. It doesn’t matter. Maybe we can see something another time.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So … did you go to Steve’s house?”

“For a while.”

“Um, Max said that you were at work all yesterday,” Will told him. Shit Max was a champ, covering for him when she didn’t really know he needed covering. “You missed – oh, sorry. Do you want a ticket?”

“Yeah, dunno what’s out.” He thought about it. “Hey, what time you done here?”

Will slanted a gaze over to the girl beside him; she was chompin’ away at her gum with a glazed expression on her face. “I’m almost done, I have to clean the break room.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “So you wanna hang out with me or something? Can see a movie now if you want.”

Will stared at him. And stared at him. He stared so long that Billy was startin’ to feel pretty dumb.

“Ah, you know what, bet you been here all day – “

“Uh, NO, that’s okay,” Will said. “Wecanseesomethingnow, justgivemeliketenminutes.”

“….Okay,” Billy said.

“I’ve got, um, I get like four free tickets a week, youcanpickwhatyouwannasee,” Will said; he was stuffing the register drawer closed.

“Okay.”

“Okay. So.” Will stared at him some more. “I’ll be right back.”

The kid disappeared into the back; Billy leaned some more against the counter until college-girl finally noticed him, then she started smilin’ at him. She was kinda punk. Billy got a bunch of snacks off her since Wills was getting his ticket.

“That’s, um, a lot of food,” Will said when he came back out. Billy handed him the popcorn and the peanut M&Ms the kid liked; he was so sad.

“I ain’t really ate all week.”

Punk College Girl cracked her gum real loud. “You guys should see _Chopping Mall_ , it’s really funny,” she said. “So, there’s these evil robots, right – “

“SOLD,” Billy said in two seconds like a dork; Will laughed. The chick told him, “Just go, I’ll punch you out.”

“Thanks.”

They walked on down to theater four; Byers almost cracked him in the face with the door. “Sorry!”

“You’re good,” Billy said. Byers looked different not bein’ a dork at school or squished in a diner booth next to Henderson; he wasn’t slouching too much. “Kid, you got real tall this year.”

“Uh, THANKS,” Will said like a weird person; Billy wondered if he was freakin’ him out with his queer shit or something. “Where do you want to sit?”

“You can pick.”

“I like to sit in the front, it doesn’t really matter though.”

“Me too,” Billy said; Byers beamed at him all aglow.

Billy liked being at the movies; he decided he liked bein’ there with Byers. The kid only really talked during the trailer previews which was okay ‘cause it was all shit that had been out for a year already.

“You missed El’s party yesterday, she asked about you and Max,” Byers said.

Billy rubbed his face. “Birthday party?”

“Yeah, her birthday was last week.”

Shit. Definitely still just a junior member. “I ain’t know it was her birthday.”

“She didn’t really want a party, Mike and Hopper kept trying to get her to do something. So it was kind of last minute. We couldn’t find Max either,” Will said. “Um, me and Lucas saw her at the arcade earlier though. She was _not_ happy.”

“Yeah, sounds about right. I”ll talk to her,” Billy said since the kid looked all bummed out. “How was the party?”

“Um, it was okay!” Will said. “We didn’t really get her good presents, Dustin spent all his money on this rocket thing. I feel pretty bad, but she. Well. And she – she got a really bad nosebleed, which doesn’t really happen anymore.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah. She was fine, though. Um … after she sat alone on the porch for an hour. But then we had cake. She probably wants to see you guys.”

Billy could do that he guessed; he wondered if the chief would go in at him if he took Maxine over there one day or something. He felt all kinds of bad for the kid – bleedin’ on your birthday. Sounded like a Nick Cave album or some shit. Shit but he was real bad at presents. “What’d Wheeler get her?”

Will’s mouth twisted to the side. “Um, comic books.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jesus God.

Will laughed at him. “No, she likes them! She has this thing for Thor.”

Who didn’t. Will said, “It’s hard to pick stuff out for girls, I think.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

The movie started up; Billy stopped thinkin’ about how he was supposed to see Elijane without the chief killing him and started laughing. He loved watching teens get terrorized in a mall. The robots had guns and zapping powers; they electrocuted one girl in the butt and then exploded her head. He and Will both said it was the best death in a while.

 

* * *

 

He had a basketball game the next day, one of three left until finals overtook the last week of school, all home games. Coach said in the morning he looked good enough to play; he hung out in the library like a huge loser until past-six workin’ on his paper, then ran drills in the gym with the guys until the other team arrived and their few spectators trickled in.

Max was there yappin’ away to Sinclair and Wills. They all waved at him briefly, even Lucas. Harrington came to watch the game too which was nice or whatever; Billy could tell Dustin and Rebecca were unloading their weekly relationship drama on him by the look on his face.

The game was against Walkerton which was just a couple of towns over. They were even worse than South Bend – Billy didn’t know how they’d even got to an away game. He didn’t even need to knock into anyone; they just let him take the ball.

It was a pretty sad game and Billy didn’t even feel too jazzed up about winning it. Maxine thudded down the bleachers and caught him before he headed to the locker room; she wanted to know if he’d go to the diner with her and Bev and Lucas.

“I ain’t a cab service,” Billy told her again; Max gave him a look that said he was a snake and was never gonna get any dope off her again.

“Well, are you going to be home tonight? I taped _Unsolved Mysteries!_ ”

“Dunno yet.”

Max rolled her eyes at him and hefted her bookbag over her shoulder. “Whatever, geek!” She stalked off to go to Beverly’s, _sans_ Lucas. Then Harrington and Dustin and his girl were coming over and Billy and Steve made plans to meet up at Billy’s since no one’d be there.

Billy got there first and Steve arrived a few moments later; he said they could watch _Miami Vice_ together. He sat down on the couch like he lived there and looked around once Billy’d let him in.

“Have fun with your dad yesterday?”

“Uh, yeah, it was okay,” Steve said in his dismissive tone that meant he didn’t feel like talking about it; Billy let it go for now. “Hey, where’s Max at? You didn’t bring her home?”

“Told her to fuck off,” Billy said and sat down beside him; Steve looked kind of confused so he said, “I wanted to spend time with you.” That sounded like some nicey-nicey romantic shit that Harrington’d want to hear. It wasn’t exactly untrue anyway.

“Oh. Okay.” Steve did look slightly mollified. “Uh, I mean, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind, I mean, it’s cool if Max hangs out with us, I won’t actually jump you in front of her or anything. I can control myself. Sometimes.” He smiled at Billy.

“Yeah, it ain’t all about you, Stella.” Shit just hearing Max’s name right now kind of bothered him; it wasn’t fair. Steve’s eyebrows went down which made Billy feel like shit in two seconds. “She annoys me.”

“Are you guys fighting or something?”

He didn’t want to talk about this. “Nah, what, she just pisses me off.”

“Oh. Okay.” Steve kind of frowned. “What’d she do? I mean, you barely saw her all weekend, right?”

“She’s probably happy about it.”

Harrington made one of his twisty faces. “I, yeah, I dunno.”

“What’s it matter? We ain’t the fuckin’ Bobbsey twins,” Billy told him. “She annoys me,” he said again.

Steve got his Billy-is-amusing face on which annoyed Billy too. “Okay, no she doesn’t.”

He wondered who Steve thought he’d been hanging out with for the last nine months; at least a good half of what he and Maxine did together was yell, smack at each other, and detail the ways they planned on murderin’ the other. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the sofa cushions. “Yeah she does, she’s a fuckin’ brat.” Steve smiled a little bigger. “Man, _w_ _hat?_ ”

“Come on, you, you like her! She’s your little wingman, remember?”

“Screw you,” Billy said in a big sulk. “She ain’t even good at it.”

“Oh, my god – you look like a little kid sitting there with your arms folded, it’s too good.” Steve leaned back against the couch too. “What happened?”

Billy was not a little kid; he didn’t look like one either. He unfolded his arms. “Nothing fucking happened,” he told Harrington. “Why you, why you askin’ me all this shit? She ain’t your sister, you ain’t my damn boyfriend. You don’t gotta be in our fuckin’ business all the time.”

“All right, all right.” Steve held his hands up a little; the couple inches away he was on the couch suddenly felt like a mile. “I didn’t say I was – okay, whatever. Sorry.” He looked all sulky and shit. “Look, do you – just want me to go or whatever?”

“No.”

“Okay, I don’t know.”

Billy sat looking at him and feeling like a piece of shit. He always said the wrong thing, even when he tried to say nothing at all. God he didn’t want to talk about this. He looked down at his lap and down at his hands by his sides on the couch; he watched his knuckles turn white as he gripped the faded sofa cushion. “I just, uh. Look, my, my dad said some shit to me about her.”

Steve frowned and looked at him. “What do you mean, what’d he say?”

“Nothing, I don’t know.” It felt like a sickness or something that’d been eating away at him for the last week. He didn’t know if he could say it. It was so stupid. He wanted to cut it out of himself. “Got me all fucked up or whatever.”

“Well, what did he say? What, he’s – followin’ her and Lucas around again or something?”

“No,” Billy said. “No no no. Nothing like that.” Steve made one of his little weird faces so Billy had to talk more. “Just said me and her been spending too much time together.”

Steve stared at him. “Okay, and, what, that makes him mad? I’d think that’d make you happy to piss him off.”

Billy didn’t say anything. He licked his lips, tapped his tongue against his front teeth. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Okay… “ Steve said slowly; he didn’t get it. “So, what, you … ? Sorry, I, yeah, I, I don’t get it.”

Billy breathed out hard through his nose. “Look, he said – “ Shit. “He said, uh, I’m gettin’ along with her too well or whatever.”

“Okay ...” again. He still didn’t get it.

“Said, uh – you know, he’d pop me one if he caught me, you know, if he caught me, caught me doin’ something to her.”

Steve stared blankly; his eyebrows went way up. “Wait, if you – _what?_ ”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, that’s, no, what, what does that even _mean?_ "

"Dunno."

"God, okay. That’s, yeah, that's totally fucked up. Why would he – that’s your – she’s your _sister,_ Bill.”

It _was_ totally fucked up; it made him feel so sick saying it, thinking about it. “She ain’t my real sister,” Billy pointed out.

Harrington made a horrible face; his mouth twisted to the side. “Yeah, but you – God, that’s disgusting, Billy, she’s barely _fifteen!_ ”

Billy didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. He was looking straight ahead at the TV, at the dirty carpet underneath the entertainment set. “Yeah, well, my girl was barely fifteen when I knocked her up, so,” he said real careful.

Steve stared at him, for a long time. Billy wasn’t looking over but he could feel it. Steve stared at him. And stared at him.

”What?” Billy said. He was still looking at the TV; it was off.

“Okay, that’s – okay, you need to stop doing that.”

Billy didn’t know what he meant. Stop being a pervert. Stop being an asshole. Stop lookin’ at the TV. “What?” he said again.

“You, yeah, that’s totally different, you – that shit was like a long time ago, you need to stop beating yourself up over it.”

“Man, what the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Billy asked him. He leaned back against the couch again. He didn’t beat himself up over Tracey; he never even thought about Tracey. He hadn’t even _seen_ Tracey. He’d never make it right with her.

“Jesus, she was two years younger than you, you act like you – you _beat her up_ or something. Did you do that?” Steve asked Billy all smart-like. 

It kind of made him mad; he glared over at Harrington for a second. “I never touched her like that.”

“Okay, so you – look, people, people our age go out with, like, with like freshman – “

Max was a freshman. “You just said she was fifteen and it’s disgustin’ – “

“YEAH, BECAUSE MAX IS GROSS,” Steve told him; Billy heartily agreed. “I don’t know, she’s – in the Monster Squad, she’s off limits or whatever! Anyway that’s not what I mean, two years is nothing, that’s different. I mean, Nancy was more than a year younger than me, that doesn’t matter.”

“I guess.”

“Oh, my god, you’re so - " Steve stopped for a second. He ran a hand through his amazing hair and made it stick up all crazy. "Look, I dunno why you, uh, you let yourself get all fucked up because your dad said some shit to you about it or whatever – “

“I didn’t _let_ myself get all fucked up,” Billy interrupted him.

He didn’t really know what to say. He _was_ all fucked up. He didn’t know how to tell Steve what that meant or if he even wanted to. Maybe he was fucked up like his old man had said.

He guessed he hadn’t been too much older than Trace, really, but she’d always seemed so young to him; he’d never really understood why. It wasn’t like she didn’t have shit in her life. It’d just been something he’d told himself to feel better about not really wanting her like that. She’d been real cool in a lot of ways and she was real pretty and she never fuckin’ nagged him even though there was plenty of shit she could nag him about; he never felt like complainin’ about her like the other guys at school complained about their girls. There was no reason for him not to want her. She was too young for him. She was too young for him so it’d be wrong to fuck her; he didn’t have to ask himself about why he didn’t want to fuck her.

But the thing was he’d fucked her anyway; he’d fucked her a lot and it was fucked up of him to do that and resent her for it. It was wrong of him to do that to her and it was fucked up. And if that was fucked up of him and his dad knew how wrong he was then maybe his dad would think that Billy’d do something screwed up to someone else too, to Max. Maybe other people’d think that too. He said, “It doesn’t matter.”

Steve was still looking at him; he didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. “Look, you – okay, didn’t you tell me before your mom had you real young?”

“She was like eighteen.” He didn’t know why Steve was talking about his mom.

“Okay, was your dad eighteen?”

“No, I dunno. He was like twenty – “ Billy thought about it; he didn’t remember how old dad was – ”twenty-four or some shit.”

“Oh, weird, he can knock up an eighteen-year-old but you can’t date someone two years younger than you, does that sound funny or anything to you?”

“He married her,” Billy told him. “He doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes he and my mom did.” That meant Billy was a mistake.

“Yeah, I don’t think he cares about what mistakes you make, I think he gets off on it,” Steve said in this real even tone; Billy stared at him. “He’s trying to make you feel like shit, you dummy! You know you – I don’t, I don’t know how you can’t see this, he always has some shit to keep you under his thumb, don’t he?”

“I dunno.”

“Yeah, uh, he does, you, oh, you picked the wrong girlfriend, she’s too young for you, oh wait, no, you’re a, a fag anyway, don’t forget that, now you owe him money for summer school, now your owe him money for breakin’ your fucking arm. You know he, he always does this shit to you, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Billy stared at him; he felt kinda stupid in about a minute. The way Harrington had laid it out made him sound like a real pushover. “Yeah, but that’s, that’s not – “

“He always does that shit to you, why do you let him make you feel like that?” Steve asked him. “It’s not – you know, it’s not, nobody, nobody would ever think that you and Max were doing anything, you guys are like totally disgusted by each other.”

“I _know_ _that,_ ” Billy said passionately. “She’s a fucking troll, man!”

Steve laughed. “Okay, that’s a little – but, yeah, he’s a fucking lunatic, when’d he, when’d he say that to you?”

“Last week or something.”

“Jesus.”

“I didn’t wanna tell you,” Billy said. “I didn’t want you to think I was fucked up or something.”

“You are fucked up,” Steve told him kindly; Billy rolled his eyes. “But I know you better than that.”

He made Billy feel all squirmy and shit. “Do you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“I just, uh.” God he didn’t know what to say. Felt like they were havin’ a moment again or something. “Made me feel so fuckin’ – like, gross and I can’t – like, I been thinkin’, if he says that shit to her moms – “

Steve made a face. “Bill, Susan wouldn’t believe that.”

“She’s scared of me,” Billy told him; Steve made another face. “No, I’m serious, she’s fuckin’ scared of me, I’m not like – I used to fuckin’ scream at her all the time. I’m like my dad, man.”

“Okay, you’re not like your dad.” Steve rolled his eyes. Jesus Steve had such faith in him; Billy didn’t understand it. “Look, you – you know what, this is too fucked up, you know he – he probably sees you and Max getting along and it pisses him off. You know he’s just saying that shit to mess you up.”

“I, uh, I dunno.” Maybe he really meant it. His old man knew there were a million things wrong with Billy; he didn’t know all of them so maybe he thought this was one.

“Okay, but I do know,” Steve told him. He looked all impassioned and shit; he also looked like he thought Billy was being a little idiot. “Look, I’ve been hanging out with you guys all year. You and – you and Susan and Max are like, a, a family or whatever, you know, you’ve finally been pushing your dad out. Guess he doesn’t like that.”

“Yeah, I guess.” _I don’t need you interfering in my marriage._ He hadn’t told Harrington that crazy shit either. “I mean, I know. I know that.”

“He just wants to, like, come between you guys so he can – make you feel like shit again, I think that’s his favorite thing to do.”

“I guess.”

“It’s not Max’s fault he’s a fuckin’ pervert,” Steve said. “You shouldn’t take it out on her, man. Sorry I sound like Mr. Mom or whatever, I know you say I sound like that.”

“What? I never said that,” Billy lied; Steve laughed. “No, I guess you’re right.”

Talkin’ to Steve made Billy feel like a piece of shit. Well it made him feel better but he _had_ been ignoring the fuck out of Max for the last week or so; that made him feel like a piece of shit. He’d already been ignoring the fuck out of her over Harrington too so it’d been a while. The whole plan had been to get away from his dad and get Max away from his dad and he hadn’t been doin’ that. “You know I – like, I ain’t even show her my apartment yet or nothing. I was supposed to get it so she could hang out with me.”

“See?”

“Okay, well.” Billy shrugged. “So I’m an asshole, big surprise.” He hesitated. “We got time before the show, you wanna go get her from Bev’s or something?”

“Oh.” Steve stared at him. “Um, I guess.”

“What?”

“Okay, since she’s not here and all, I really was planning on jumping you.” Billy laughed. “Uh, but we can get her after.”

Billy thought about it. “Okay. So what you tryin’ to do here?”

Steve smiled at him like a total goofball; they were real close on the couch again. “Did I ever tell you how I feel ‘bout you in your basketball uniform?” he said. “I think about it a lot, you look really good.”

He ran a hand up over Billy’s thigh; Billy felt his body react in about three seconds. “Oh yeah? You gonna critique my form?”

“Yeah, where do you want me to start?” A hand slipped under the waistband of his shorts.

Billy closed his eyes. “Shit.”

 

The week went on without a hitch; he and Harrington picked up Max so she could watch the show with them and Billy apologized to her the next day when they were going home from school. “I ain’t mean to make you think I was mad or some shit, you think I’m mad,” Billy told her.

Max was eating a candy bar she’d won from Henderson in detention (Billy didn’t know why they had detention and he didn’t ask) with her knees all bent up and her feet on his dashboard. Since he felt all guilty and shit he didn’t scream at her that she was dentin’ up his fucking car. “I didn’t think you were mad at me, I thought you were just being a douchebag like you usually are.”

Christ she was so sweet to him. “I just haven’t been in a good mood whatever.”

“You’re never in a good mood.” Max looked at him and chewed on her Crunch bar. “Sorry I keep, like, talking about Steve or whatever,” she said more quietly. “I’ll stop if you want.”

“It don’t matter,” Billy told her. “Maybe I’ll just be alone forever like you said.”

Max looked stricken in two seconds. “Okay, I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN THAT – “

Haha. She was gonna fuckin’ kill him. “Look, whatever. I been thinkin’ bout that place on Broad Street, you wanna come check it out with me?”

“By the Chinese place?” she asked all excited. That was the only important thing he guessed.

“I already put money down on it, can change it if you don’t like it.”

Max rolled her eyes at him. “It’s _your_ apartment, dumbass,” she said. “But yeah, I wanna look at it.”

“Call the landlady tomorrow.”

“Okay, I would like to speak with her,” Max said like a forty year old mom. Billy rolled his eyes; Max gave him the last bit of her candy bar.

Billy called the landlady and she said he could come by and do another walkthrough. After school he skipped out on basketball practice and took himself and Maxine to the bank; he cashed in his check from Friday so’s he could put down the first month’s rent.

He felt weird as fuck in the bank counting out his money while Max poked around lookin’ at the deposit slips. He had a lot of money; he didn’t really know how. Half of it was goin’ to the apartment but still.

Shit was going too good for him; he kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. He had Harrington and he was gettin’ a place and he actually didn’t want to murder Maxine all the time for once and he was gonna graduate on time. Felt like something was gonna happen; maybe he’d come home one day and his dad would just fucking murder him or Steve would still change his mind.

“You can’t tell your moms I’m gettin’ a place yet,” he told Max as they went back to his car.

“Yeah, I know, I know.” She handed him over a lollipop she’d taken from the bank teller. “You’re being stupid anyway, she’d _probably_ buy you stuff!”

“Why’d you give me fuckin’ cherry?”

Max rolled her eyes and handed him the green one. ”God, you baby. Just say thanks.”

“Ain’t like you paid for it.” Max ignored him and skipped ahead to the car. She put on her ugly heart-shaped sunglasses and crunched on her lollipop. She had her feet up on his dashboard again.

Billy popped his lollipop out of his mouth and pointed it at her. “Look like fuckin’ Lolita or some shit, get your feet outta my window.”

“Shut up, you look like Boy George!” Max yapped.

“FUCK YOU, you’re just saying that shit ‘cause he’s queer,” Billy said; Max cackled her little demon head off. He smacked at her til she put her feet down.

“STOP HITTING ME!” Max roared like the spawn of Satan; Billy hit her some more.

The landlady let them into the apartment. She was this little old Polish lady; she was cute as shit. Billy could tell in two seconds that she was getting a big kick out of Maxine. “My brother’s never lived on his own before, he needs my help,” Max informed her. “He can’t even cook really.”

“I can cook,” Billy said like a sulky bitch; he was just standing in the corner of the kitchen with the women ignoring him like usual.

Max continued ignoring him. “I like these countertops.” She knocked on them like a weird person.

It wasn’t too huge of a place. There were four units on the ground floor of the building and four on the second and each apartment was basically identical, the lady’d explained to Max as they went up the stairs. Billy’d already heard it before; Maxine asked more questions though. ”What are the neighbors like? How often do you do inspections?” Billy dragged her into the living room before she could start askin’ the bitch how she felt about boys with _alternative lifestyles_.

She fiddled around with the dishwasher and she and Mrs. Nowak discussed the dimensions of the bathroom. Max approved of the laundry in the creepy basement. Back upstairs she leaned out on the little fire escape. “You could probably see the fireworks from the park from here,” she said.

“This is the only apartment I’ve got that has an actual balcony, it’s not much but it’s something, you know?” Mrs. Nowak said.

Billy looked at Max. “What you think?”

“Give her your money!” Max yelled.

“Okay,” he said.

He sat on the counter and signed even more paperwork while Max bustled around some more. “How are you gonna get your workout bench up the stairs?” Max asked him. She disappeared and then popped up again. “I guess you want the bigger bedroom. Are you getting a new bed?”

Off they went back home; Max was all jazzed up and she and Billy helped Susan make dinner. Everyone was happy with Billy’s old man out of the house.

“Where’d you kids go off to today?”

“We were hanging out with Will at the theater, he gets these free movie tickets,” Max lied all innocent.

Susan frowned. “Have I met Will?”

“He had that George Harrison haircut,” Max said.

“Oh, that’s right.” Susan said; Billy managed not to make a comment.

They ate dinner together – not that burnt – and Max bitched her head off to him. Apparently she had a lot of shit stored up. “ – and stupid Mike didn’t even tell me it was El’s birthday, how am I supposed to remember? Did _you_ know it was her birthday?” She blabbered on before Billy could answer: “They were like, oh, we couldn’t find you, everyone knows I’m at Bev’s house if I’m not here or at work!”

“Who’s El?” Susan asked her.

“Uh,” said Max.

“Ellen,” Billy said into his mashed potatoes; Max rolled her eyes and grinned at him.

“She’s just my friend, I know her through the guys.”

“Oh. She goes to school with you?”

“No, she’s a little younger,” Max said as Billy put in, “She’s homeschooled.”

Max made a huge fishface at him. “You met her before, Mom, Mr. Hopper’s daughter!”

 _Mr. Hopper._ Somehow Billy kept from cackling.

“Oh, that little girl we saw at the market? She seemed sweet.”

“That’s _debatable,_ ” Maxine said like a shitheel; Susan made a nonplussed face. “How come no one ever says I’M sweet?” Max leaned over like a vicious gremlin to smack at Billy’s hand, hard. “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS? STOP TAKING MY FOOD, DOUCHEBAG!”

“Maxine!” said Susan.

 

Even though Max was being a shitheel she still said they needed to get Elijane a birthday present; Billy agreed. She pestered him until he said he’d take her out the next day. He guessed it was okay for them to do that; his dad wasn’t coming back until the weekend and then he’d be off again. It was almost summer and they wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

He had work until past five like usual. Maxine showed up a couple minutes early and saved him from Hank and Miles talkin’ on and on to him. They decided to go and drag Harrington off with them – mostly Max decided; she was back to being his little wingman.

She didn’t even ask him about his weekend at Steve’s. Probably she thought he’d tell her if something had happened; that kinda made him feel bad. Then again not like anything would have happened or even did with Billy coughing and snotting all over the place. The most action he’d got had been from Princess Leia.

Anyway they took Maxine out to Indianapolis and Billy could tell she got a big kick out of it; she’d only been a couple times with her moms and her aunt who had a place out there. Not in the real city part though with all the shops and whatnot.

It was raining out again, a sluggy gray drizzle, but no one really minded. It meant there was less people out. They went out along the docks by the big river and Max dragged them into store after store. She got a lot of tapes and made Billy buy her a beaded curtain for her room at his place; it was totally hideous.

“So are you gettin’ more excited about your apartment?” Steve asked him.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Are you gonna go before you graduate or just wait like the extra week?” He could move in on the 10th but the last final was at the end of the week after that.

Maxine butted in with her two cents. “It depends on how much furniture we can get before that.”

“Man, why you gotta fuckin’ say _we_ all the time?” Billy asked her; Max ignored him.

“Enjoy today, Steve, we’ll _probably_ have way less time for you after Billy moves,” she informed Harrington. “He’s going to have so many parties and stuff, THERE WILL BE TONS OF GIRLS.”

In his head Billy sighed for a hundred million years. He thought he also sighed out loud.

Harrington had his biggest Max-is-amusing face on ever. “Thanks, I’ll be okay, you know I’ve been sayin’ he should meet someone nice.”

“Have you?” Billy said; Maxine looked like she wanted to murder them both. She dragged them into yet another record store and spent a couple minutes looking at more tapes to play in her old stereo.

“I thought you were looking at presents for Eleven,” Steve told her as they left the store.

Max stuck her little nose in the air like a snooty poodle; she was laden down with her third shopping bag already. “I haven’t seen anything good yet!”

She bounced on ahead of them, then bounced on back. “They have live shows on the pier during the summer!”

“Yeah, it’s like this big festival. Probably not what you’re used to back at home, it’s not that bad though, right?”

“Harrington, we’re poor, we did like one cool thing a year anyway,” Billy reminded him.

“No, it’s nice!” Max yapped over him in support. She looked over at Billy; she looked about ten years old in her stupid baggy tie-dye shirt. “It’s nice here! It’s kind of like Santa Monica, right? Like – Pacific Park!”

It wasn’t really like Santa Monica or the amusement park or anyplace back home. She and Harrington both looked all happy or whatever though so Billy said, “Sure, I guess.”

“I _don’t_ even miss the beach anyway, I always get stung by jellyfish and Billy tries to pee on me,” Max went on; Steve laughed.

“That happened one time,” Billy said.

Max flung her arms out dramatically and hit Steve in the face with one of her shopping bags. “It was FOUR TIMES!”

“I look out for her.”

“You’re an asshole,” Max told him. “BUT, Steve, we can still take you, I guess if you guys promise not to pee on me.”

“Gee, Max, I never make a promise I can’t keep,” Harrington said like a nerd; Billy laughed and laughed.

Max made a terrible face over her shoulder at both of them. She saw some kinda store she liked and her eyes lit up again; she grabbed Billy’s arm and started dragging him across the street like he was her fuckin’ toddler. “Do you think Mom would let us take Steve back to California?” she asked him; Billy was trying to shake her off. “Just for like a week or something. Or you guys could come visit me when I go see Dad in July.”

Damn but she talked a lot. Billy didn’t really know why people were so eager to go around makin’ plans all the time; shit changed every day and things never really went the way you wanted them to. “I dunno, maybe,” he said. They reached the other end of the street. “I ain’t got no California money.”

“That’s what _Steve_ is for,” Max said like syrup. She thought Harrington was their sugar daddy and she didn’t even know Billy was gettin’ it from him.

“Uh, thanks, is it?” Steve said.

Max ignored him. “Oh! We can take him down the PCH, we can hit all the good beaches.”

“Yeah, I, I dunno what that is.”

“It’s just a big highway, man. Same as here,” Billy told him.

“It’s _not_ the same!”

“Man, you ain’t even been down the coast – “

“I SAW A SEAL AT NEWPORT BEACH!”

“Oh, my god, you’re gonna be fuckin’ talking about that thing on your death bed, it was a frickin’ otter – “

“NO, IT WASN’T!” She turned importantly towards Steve. “I _saw_ a seal at Newport Beach.”

Steve had his Max-is-amusing face on again. He looked real cute gettin’ rained on; the grey sky made his skin look brighter and his hair and eyes look darker. “Okay, I believe you. We don’t have those here.”

“You don’t got otters?” Billy asked; Max slugged him. “ALL RIGHT, BITCH!” They struggled with each other for a moment. “Okay, okay, okay. Why you keep talkin’ about back home, there’s shit here you ain’t even seen yet.”

“Like _what?_ ”

“Uh, this bougie fuckin’ clothes store you’re about to go in.” Billy pointed at it; Max rolled her eyes. “I dunno, man, what kinda shit we got out here?” he asked Steve.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really been to that many places. I guess the mountains are okay.”

“Stevie’s mom’s got a fancy house on Lake Michigan,” Billy told Max.

“REALLY?”

“It’s not, it’s not really a house, it’s a cabin, it’s like her family’s – “ Max and Billy gave each other a look – “oh, my god, don’t do that, what?”

“ _It’s not really a house, it’s a cabin,_ ” said Maxine in a stupid voice. “What, there’s only four bathrooms?” Steve laughed at her.

“Okay, whatever, would you guys want to go there or something? I can take you if you want.”

Maxine looked decidedly evil. “We’ll think about it,” she said.

“Will we?” Billy asked her.

Max ignored him in favor of looking more evil. Then in two seconds she said, “Can Lucas come too?”

“Je-sus,” Billy moaned.

“WHAT?”

“He can come, it doesn’t matter. It’ll be fun.”

God they were both too much. “Goin’ in the store or what?”

“Okay, okay!” Max yapped.

She dragged them into the store, and then another and another; it was more records and more bougie shit and fancy hippie clothes. Max made Billy buy a lava lamp and a welcome mat for his apartment that said ‘Fuck Off.’ They looked at sunglasses and she made Steve try on a bunch of pairs until she found one that she said didn’t make him look too stupid. Billy made a lot of helpful comments like ‘Those are terrible’ and ‘You look like Elton John.’ Steve bought the worst ones to be a horror.

In some hippie store Max pressed her whole fuckin’ face against a display window. “What are these pipes for?” she asked like a kid; Steve and Billy glanced at each other and managed not to make a comment.

Okay almost. “Should get one for Bev.”

“OHHH!” said Max in understanding. She gave the glass a more calculated look, then wandered over to the jewelry display. “Hey, do you think El would want a bracelet or something? She needs more girl stuff!”

“I guess.” They certainly weren’t gonna get her any fuckin’ comics.

“Okay, help me pick one out,” Max commanded him; she had her arms folded up like a damn mom.

“Man, I don’t know.” He leaned over the display, pointed at one. “That one.”

Max made one of her faces. The bracelet was pink leather and had a buncha stones on it. “ _Really?_ ”

“What? She likes pretty shit, don’t she?” Billy asked her. “She’s got that pink dress. Stupid cat backpack.”

“I _guess._ ”

“Get her one too then.”

Max gave him a look. “I don’t have bracelet money!”

“Big surprise, you can owe me.”

“Okay.” Max picked out the same one but in blue because she always had to be fuckin’ opposite of him. She hemmed and hawed over the jewelry display. “Can I get a mood ring?”

“Spendin’ all my fucking money here on your girly shit – “

“I’ll get it for her,” said Harrington; Max flounced off to the checkout girl. “What?” he made a stupid face at Billy looking at him. “Do you want me to buy you a ring?”

“Screw you,” Billy said.

Later on Max declared their trip a success; she was conked out on the couch hoarding all their purchases around her like a dragon. “Steve didn’t even mention his girlfriend _once,_ ” she said all pleased.

Susan was walkin’ by with her laundry. “Oh, does Steve have a new girlfriend?” she asked happily.

Max looked less pleased. “He’s just seeing this TOTAL SKANK – “ Billy covered her mouth before she could further unknowingly besmirch his honor.

“ _Maxine!_ ” Susan said.

 

* * *

 

 

Thursday night he went over to Steve’s house again. They had teacher conferences in the morning and he didn’t have school the next day; Harrington had a half day at work so it didn’t matter if Billy stayed over late. Even so he usually stayed over late anyway he figured. It’d been raining cats and dogs like most of the week and Harrington’d told him _be careful driving_ like a den dad or a girlfriend. It raining so hard meant that the dogs were allowed inside though.

It was even easier to be at Harrington’s now that he’d been delirious on the couch and in Steve’s room all weekend before and Steve’s mom hadn’t cared that he was there. He felt more comfortable even though it was probably stupid.

No one else was home now though. Billy sat around in the kitchen while Steve fed the dogs; Luke laid under the table to let Billy pet him and Leia attacked her bowl in two seconds like a fuckin’ savage. “I can’t hang out with you tomorrow, I got a date,” Billy told him.

Steve made his eyebrows go down and he spilled dog food all over the floor. “Excuse me?” he said like a dramatic bitch.

Haha! What a little dork. “I’m goin’ to the movies with Byers.”

Steve made a stupid face. “What, Jonathan?”

“Fuck you, you sick bastard,” Billy said with passion; Steve laughed. “Will’s taking me again, he got those free tickets.”

“Oh, right.” He stopped making a face. ”Uh, you guys are gonna go again?”

“Guess so, he asked me to.” Billy shrugged. It was nice when people asked you to do stuff; no one never really liked hangin’ out with him too much. “Maybe I can still come over later or whatever.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine,” Steve said; he was tryin’ to get Leia to move away from the cabinet so he could put her stuff away. “Come over whenever you want.” He looked all amused and shit. “I mean, if you don’t forget about me.”

“Shut up,” Billy told him. “Hey, you can probably come with us if you want.”

Now he was making an even stupider face. “Uh, yeah, that’s okay.”

“You know, the kid is like real popular now, I seen a lot of girls talkin’ to him in the hallway,” Billy told him like a little gossip. “I told him he should ask one of ‘em out, he turned all red and shit.” Will was so shy.

Steve stared at him. And stared at him. One corner of his mouth ticced up like Billy was amusin’ him.

Harrington always thought he was so fucking funny. “What?”

“Uh, yeah, Bill, I think he, uh, has someone in mind already.”

“What?” Billy said again. “Wait, he likes somebody?” The kid hadn’t told him that, not like they really talked about that stuff. The fuck. “Who’s he like?”

Steve made a face like he wanted to laugh. “Nothing, I don’t know. Nevermind.”

“What? Who’s he like?”

He did laugh. “Nothing, I don’t know.”

Billy leaned back in slight disgust. “Don’t fucking tell me it’s Maxine.” Maybe Will was tryin’ to get on his good side or something; would he really do it to Sinclair?

“Yeah, no, I don’t think so.”

Billy leaned back in more disgust. Who’d he like? “What, s’it Bev or somethin’?”

“Oh, my god, Bill.” Steve laughed at him some more. “Nevermind, don’t – uh, don’t, don't worry about it.”

“I ain’t worried about it,” Billy told him like a sulky bitch. He gave good dating advice, he thought; he’d helped Henderson get his girl after all. He could help Byers out too.

“What are you guys gonna see? Probably something that’ll give me nightmares, right?”

Billy let him change the subject. “Nah, there’s nothing really scary out.”

They made dinner together because that’s what Steve wanted to do; he had some fancy recipe book his moms had left out for him. Billy mostly sat and watched him. Harrington had a bunch of mail laying around on the counter; he still had his unopened application to Indiana State gatherin’ dust and Billy was fixing to steal it and fucking fill it out for him. He could definitely do it; just needed to figure out what sports Harrington had done in what year and all. Maybe he could nick one of his yearbooks or something.

“Stop going through my shit, monster,” Steve said without looking up from the stove; Billy ignored him. He put the Indiana State application aside on the counter. “Hey, my neighbors are havin’ this big like block party next weekend, they do it at the start of every summer. You should come with me, they got a lot of booze.”

“Okay.” Billy liked the sound of that.

They ate orange-glazed pork chops; Steve burned the rice but he said it was because Billy was distracting him. Either way it was still pretty good. No one had really cooked for him before aside from his mom, or Susan he guessed but that didn’t really qualify as food. Max and her mac and cheese didn’t matter since she screamed at him the whole time and acted like he was killin’ her. Okay Steve had made him do like three things but it still counted.

Harrington still talked so much that Billy had no clue how he managed to clean his plate. “You’re like the easiest person to cook for, you eat anything,” Steve said. He was still in his work shirt and dorky tie; the ties got dorkier throughout the week as Harrington looked forward to the weekend. He had his sleeves rolled up and he looked cute as shit. Billy wondered what Steve’d say if Billy told him he was the cutest guy in Hawkins. He’d probably think Billy was making fun of him.

“Not really,” Billy said. He had a refined palate; Steve laughed when he said that.

After they ate they went down into Harrington’s fancy basement. Tomorrow was the weekend and the Creepy Kids wanted to have some faggy game night together on Saturday; Steve had bitched all week and finally said he’d go which meant that Billy had to too if he wanted to be with him. Even now he could feel Max scheming across town. Anyway Steve had been commissioned to bring his best board games; he was making a big production out of it.

“They always just yell their fuckin’ heads off about what I pick anyway, why’d I even say I’d go.” Steve was half-disappeared in the closet by the stairs; it had a fold-out door and a bunch of shit had fallen on him when he’d opened it. “Dustin’s been bugging the crap out of me lately anyway.”

“Probably misses you.”

“Uh, yeah, no, I think he and Lucas have some bet going over my fake girlfriend, it’s really creepy actually. I frickin’ know they’re glad I’m not around yelling at them what to do anymore.”

Billy collapsed down on one of the fancy couches; they wasn’t as fancy as the ones upstairs but they were still worth more than his life and half of Maxine’s. He kicked his sneakers off so he wouldn’t scuff up the leather. Shit it was probably real leather too. They even had a fireplace down here, big TV and all. “Kinda forgot you used to play Daddy to those brats all the time.”

Steve’s back was to him but Billy could sense him making a face. He’d taken his button-up shirt off and he just had a little white t-shirt on and his fantastic work pants; they were brown today.

Billy had a lot of thoughts about the work pants. He wished Steve would get up on the counter again. It was Billy’s third-biggest fantasy.

Like usual Steve was totally oblivious to his X-rated thoughts. He was still halfway in the closet – hahahaha, Billy thought. “I was in a really bad headspace this time last year, I have nothing to say for myself,” Steve said.

Billy tried hard not to focus on the work pants; he didn’t need to be a fucking horndog all the time. It was so fun though. “Were ya really?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.” A sleeping bag fell on Steve’s head; he was endlessly suave. He also sounded like he was being sarcastic about himself like usual. “You’re lucky you didn’t know me back then.” Billy didn’t know. “Finally figured out, uh, Nancy wasn’t going to like come crying back to me, and you know, I fuckin’ fought with my mom all year about her, it was really fun.”

“Your mom is so smart,” Billy said. Steve rolled his eyes.

“I think I actually really hurt her feelings, my mom I mean, I felt really shitty. Not shitty enough to not see Nancy I guess.”

Billy guessed they’d been so in love. He tried not to feel like a sulky bitch over it; it almost worked.

Harrington kept on talking. “I was getting my first round of college rejection letters, actually I only applied to two places last year anyway. I had you walkin’ all over the school bugging me all the time, I was a total wreck.”

“I didn’t do shit to you last year,” Billy told him. He really hadn’t, not since all the crazy shit had gone down with them last Halloween. He’d told himself he didn’t have to do that; he didn’t need to think about Steve Harrington all the time even if he wanted to. It had worked out pretty well until their great adventure over the summer. Since then it’d been working out pretty well too he guessed.

“I know you didn’t, I couldn’t figure out why,” Steve said. He pulled out Clue and made one of his squinty faces at it. “I think I was, like, kind of obsessed with you.”

“Quit flirting with me, you already got me,” Billy said; Steve laughed.

Actually Billy wanted to hear all about how Steve was obsessed with him. The moment passed by though. Steve put Clue aside and looked happy. He dug around in the closet some more.

“Oh hey, I think I still have my special edition set of Boggle somewhere in here.”

“God, you fuckin’ wild man.” Steve laughed again. “How come we never hang out down here?”

Steve made a face and put his stack of board games off to the side by the stairs. “I don’t know, I guess we could,” he said thoughtfully. “There’s not really any windows down here or anything in case someone gets home, it’s not like my mom would come down to check on me. No cable, we could watch a movie though. We have some down here, you want to?”

“Okay.”

There was a fancy bookcase built into the wall; Billy picked through the books and movies while Steve organized his kid games. “I always used to hang out with Tommy down here, I’m surprised it still doesn’t smell like dope.”

“How’d you get away with doin’ that?”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, the no-windows thing doesn’t really help, I think my parents just collectively ignored me once I turned thirteen. It was mostly him anyway, I don’t, I’m not, I’m like you said. I get all nervous and shit, I don’t really like doing that stuff.”

He actually felt bad for two seconds. “You didn’t have to smoke with me.”

“Uh, well, it ended up okay, I guess, right.”

“Real okay,” Billy said; Steve smiled at him. Shit sometimes just him smiling could give Billy the squirmy feeling. He’d been trying to make himself get used to it though. “So can I smoke down here?”

“Yeah, if you want, I don’t care.”

“Sweet deal,” Billy said. He dug around in his jeans pocket.

Steve laughed a little. “Oh my god, you have weed on you?”

“Usually do.” His last joint was a little crushed but still okay; Steve made a face at him pullin’ it out of his pocket. “What, I don’t need to do it. Doesn’t seem like I usually keep my pants on that long around you.”

Steve tossed him his lighter. “I’m surprised you haven’t thrown them at me yet.”

“I did that _one time._ ”

Steve laughed some more. He climbed up over Billy for a second to pry open the one little storm-window above the couch, then went back to his board games.

“I like your poster,” Billy told him; there was a big mural of The Doors on the ceiling. He always looked at it when they came down here to sneak booze.

Steve stacked the games up and looked around. “Oh yeah, most of these are Tommy’s and all.”

“I take it back,” Billy said in two seconds; it made Steve smile. Billy thought about it. Usually he’d never ask but he was a little stoned and all. There’d been a reason why he hadn’t let himself get stoned around Harrington too much before. “Hey. Did you ever hook up with him or whatever?” he asked; Steve made a face like Billy’d asked him if he’d ever ate dog shit served on a bed of lettuce.

“Gross, are you fucking kidding me?” He made an even more terrible face. “I’m not – you’re like the only guy I ever really wanted to, to do stuff with.”

“I was just askin’,” Billy said. “Thought it might be why he was so into you.”

“Yeah, I have that affect on people.” Steve took the movie Billy’d picked; about the only halfway decent thing they had down here was _The Deer Hunter_. “What – uh, about you, did you ever want to get with any guys before?”

Billy didn’t feel like saying _You’re the only person I’ve wanted to get with, period_ ; it was too fucking weird. “I guess not.”

“See? Irresistible,” Steve said like a little dork. He smiled at Billy making a face. Billy didn’t say anything; he watched Steve set the movie up.

Steve wandered back to the hall closet instead of watching the movie because he had the attention span of a goldfish when he wasn’t having sex. ”I bet you’d get so hard if I put my Cub Scouts vest on, should I start a fire? I bet I can still do it.”

“Did you do all that shit?”

“Yeah, me and Tommy were in Cub Scouts for four years, I got picked on til I got my growth spurt, I was like thirteen or fourteen. My first kiss was Geena Anderson at camp, I can still taste her frickin’ braces.” Jesus God Billy didn’t know why Harrington was volunteering all this sensitive information about himself tonight; somehow he managed not to say anything again. Steve threw his sleeping bag at Billy and wandered over to the fireplace with his dorky camping stuff.

It really didn’t take Harrington that long to get a fire going; he said he’d just cheated and used a firestarter though. Billy watched him mess around with the vents in the fireplace so the smoke would go up the chimney instead of killin’ them. It was springtime but it was still pretty cold out; Billy felt like he’d never get used to it here.

“Turn that lamp off, I’m romancing you,” Steve commanded him; Billy was getting the biggest kick out of him ever.

He turned the lamp off. Steve fucked with the fire for a couple more seconds and then went and sat beside him on the fancy couch. He was still sprawled out laying down; Steve put the remote down on Billy’s stomach and touched his hip through his jeans.

He liked it when Steve touched him. He just did it like it wasn’t anything. It seemed so easy for him; maybe it didn’t mean nothing. “Are you impressed with me?”

“Always am,” Billy said; Harrington rolled his eyes like Billy was being sarcastic.

“Hey, we should go camping this summer if you want. I think the last time I went was like four years ago, Tommy and Carol just had sex the whole time. I found this turtle I really liked.”

“I can see how that was a really beautiful memory for you.”

“I don’t know if you’re into that stuff, I mean CAMPING, asshole,” Steve said before Billy could make a comment.

“Took my girl and our friend to the canyons a couple years ago, it’s probably totally different around here.” He’d gone with Tracey and Jack and left Maxine cryin’ at home; Tracey’d seen some kinda snake down by the water and spent the next two days talking about how they were gonna die. Billy hadn’t gotten laid once.

“We could go if you want, I can catch you a fish with my bare hands. What, why are you laughing?” Steve said. He was being too stupid tonight.

“I bet you burn like a baby.” That got him started thinking about putting sunscreen on Harrington; it was his fourth biggest fantasy. Shit. He stared down the couch at him; Steve was still touching the hem of his t-shirt. He wondered if Harrington’d notice him gettin’ a boner.

So far he was not noticing. “Yeah, I’d probably have to take like three days off of work to recover.” Steve shifted on the couch; Billy was taking up most of the room. “Would you want to do that?”

“Sure, if I can get away from Max for a weekend or whatever.”

“Eh, I don’t know. We could just take her with us, she’d probably have fun.”

Billy didn’t answer for a couple seconds; his hard-on died in two seconds thinking about Maxine. He stared at the joint burning away in his hand. “What, you think that’s a good idea?”

“What?” Steve said. He looked over after a second and raised his eyebrows when Billy didn’t say anything. “You know we don’t have to actually share a tent with her,” he said like Billy was dumb.

“No shit.”

Now Steve was the one who didn’t talk for a couple seconds; he started kinda frowning. “I thought, uh, you wanted to tell her about us after you moved out or whatever.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Harrington was making him feel guilty as fuck. He didn’t seem to understand that there’d never been a real good time to tell Max about them; it was gonna be this big thing with her. There was just always shit to do, or his dad would be going fucking crazy, then they’d got in deeper makin’ her flip out over Harrington’s imaginary girlfriend.

Steve looked real skeptical. “You guess. Okay, great.”

Billy sighed internally; it wasn’t the first time they’d talked about this. They didn’t talk about it a lot – barely at all – but he could tell Harrington was gearin’ up to get on his case. Fuck he didn’t know what Steve wanted from him. He folded a hand up under his head and looked over at him. “You wanna do this now?”

“I’m not doing anything,” Steve said.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ tell her, all right.”

“Yeah, you sound really thrilled about it.”

“Yeah, because she’s going to beat my ass over you,” Billy told him. He sat up a little; the joint burned the side of his hand.

Steve got a little Billy-is-amusing face on for just a second. “Okay, that’s not my fault, that’s you going around like you’re playing a game with her.”

“It’s not a game,” Billy said; Steve gave him a look that said he remembered the sympathy brownies Max had made him the other week. They’d even had icing on them which meant she felt pretty bad for him. “Why you want me to tell her so bad? She ain’t your fucking sister, you don’t gotta worry about her.”

That was the wrong thing to say somehow; Harrington’s eyebrows dipped down in two seconds. “Yeah, I know that, thanks. Look, I’m not going to make you tell her, it’d just be nice if she didn’t frickin’ hate my guts or whatever – “

“Okay, she doesn’t hate you – “

“ – or if I didn’t have to sit, like, ten feet away from you whenever she comes in the room – “

“You don’t do that shit anyway,” Billy told him; Harrington was about the most obvious person on the planet.

“Do you want to do it together or something?” Steve said like that was a good idea. “I can tell her with you if you want.”

Jesus fucking Christ. “What, you wanna hold my hand for moral support?”

“If you need that,” Steve said like a little smartass.

“You ain’t my goddamn girlfriend.”

“Yeah, thanks, I know that – “

“Do you know?” Billy asked him; Steve made a great face. “Look, I told you she can’t watch her goddamn mouth, man. She knows about us, it’ll be way worse. She knows about it all the fuckin’ kids are gonna know in a minute.”

“I don’t really think she’d – “

“You know my dad ever finds out anything I’m fuckin’ dead,” Billy reminded him. “He ain’t like your bougie parents, not gonna take us out to dinner like your mom would.”

“Okay, I’m not – “

“You want me to make an announcement in the newspaper or some shit? Maybe your old man will take us to the country club to celebrate.” He didn’t mean to but he was getting real pissed off in two seconds.

Steve looked majorly annoyed with him too. “Okay, whatever, I didn’t say all that. Jesus, you really think I’m stupid.”

“I didn’t say – “

“Whatever, we don’t have to talk about this. Forget it, okay?”

He looked all moody and shit now; Billy lamented his life. Harrington had been in a real good mood tonight. He’d been actin’ all cute and shit and Billy’d fucked it up like usual. “Look, it’s not like I don’t wanna – “

“Whatever,” Steve said again over him. “I just, I _just_ said Max, you don’t have to be such a prick to me. I didn’t fucking say come out to your parents, I don’t want to do that either. You, you know, you met my dad for two minutes _one time_ , you don’t know what he’s like.”

Billy didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. “Okay, what’s he like?”

“Whatever, he’s – not like your dad or anything,” Steve said shortly. “I know that, I don’t feel like talking about this with you.”

“Fine,” Billy said; Harrington kept right on talking anyway as he did.

“You act like I don’t think about this shit, I already got crap from both of them all year after the – the stupid shit with Nancy and Barb and, and all the goddamn monsters they don’t even fricking know about. I’d probably get kicked out or something, my dad ever finds out I even – thought about a guy or whatever.”

Really Billy didn’t know what to say about that. Mostly he just tried to never even think about this shit; it mostly worked but he had to think about it sometimes. His dad killing him. Max torturing him for the rest of his life if his dad didn’t kill him. He didn’t know how long Harrington would want to do this with him; he didn’t like to think about tellin’ people. He hadn’t thought about what it might be like for Steve, what Steve might think about it.

“You think he’d really do that?”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, probably. Maybe. I, I don’t know. Try to keep me from seeing you or whatever, maybe take my car. They already tried to do that shit last year.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, I don’t really care,” Steve said. “I mean, you know. They were both assholes to me last year, I don’t care. I have my own money now, I can get a place. I can get a shitty car, you can fix it up for me.”

Billy stared at him. “ _What?_ ” Steve said like he hadn’t just fucking said he’d let himself get kicked out of his house for Billy.

“Sorry.”

“What, you wouldn’t fix my car?” Harrington asked him all loud like an insane person.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’d fix your car.”

“Okay.” Steve still looked moody. “Look, we don’t have to talk about this, I don’t feel like fighting. I made you a fire!” he said like a kid and gestured; Billy tried not to smile. “Sorry, okay? You don’t have to tell Max.”

“Tell her if you want,” Billy said. He sat up on the couch and pulled on Steve’s arm. He was feeling the real emotions; by now he thought he’d felt like three or four. “C’mere.”

“What, what do you want,” Steve said like a grumpy bitch. He shifted over closer though. Billy kissed him so Steve leaned over some more. He put his hand on the side of Billy’s neck. “You’re such an asshole.”

“I’ll tell her, okay?”

“I don’t care, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I got til June first,” Billy reminded him; Steve rolled his eyes.

“That’s in like four days, asshole. I should fucking break up with you for a month, you can go see Metallica like you want.”

Billy pulled him even closer and got him on his lap where he wanted. “Nah, don’t do that.”

“Change my mind,” Steve said like a grumpy bitch.

“Okay. C’mere.”

“What, I am here.” He reached out and held Billy’s arm away from him. “You’re gonna fucking set us on fire with that thing.”

The joint was dying anyway. “Where you want me to put it out?”

“Just give it to me.”

Billy smiled up at him real slow; Steve rolled his eyes. He smacked Billy in the chest and took the joint from him. He reached up over them and stamped it out on the windowsill.

“Jesus, don’t crush it!” Billy told him.

“Oh, my god, I’m not – “

“Yeah, you are – “

“What? NO I’m n – “ he looked down and scowled when he saw that Billy was arguing with him on purpose. “You’re _so_ fucking annoying.”

“Them’s fightin’ words, Harrington.” He watched the corner of Steve’s mouth tic up like he was trying not to smile. “You gonna get with me or what?” Leaned up before he could answer him, elbows propped up against the arm of the couch, to catch his mouth with his own.

They shifted around on the couch; Steve pulled him up and kissed him harder, curled a hand around the back of his neck. The fire crackled away across from them; it was the real romantic shit.

A cold gust of wind whipped in from the storm window; the pane rattled hard. Billy could feel the damp air hitting the side of his face, the back of his neck where Steve wasn’t touching him. Steve’s mouth was hot and yielded against his own; he flicked his tongue against Billy’s lower lip and slid it into his mouth. Felt like they were all alone in the big wide world. The only sounds were the muted music from the TV, the drumming of the rain. Steve’s soft sighs as he muttered into Billy’s mouth.

They weren’t really alone in the world. He could see the whole of Harrington’s house stretched out around and over him like a blueprint, the dogs stretched out together and asleep up in the kitchen. The cold shine of the dark roof and the black night above it, the rain falling down as if in slow-motion. Empty Fairview Ave and its glowing streetlamps, the few cars at the end of the street, wet spring leaves flicking into the gutter. The woods behind the house, brown-and-black, stretching out to the lake and beyond it, past Hopper’s little house and past the convenience store and the state road that’d take you out of town.

Billy didn’t really understand how he knew the chief’s place was way back in the woods past Steve’s house. That was pretty weird, that he was thinking of that. He wondered if Hop was home, maybe playin’ some board game with the kid. Wondered what kinda present he’d gotten her, if she’d like the shit Max and Billy’d picked out for her. Or maybe she was alone like usual and looking out the window at the rain and the world too. Probably watchin’ the old TV with its crooked antennae.

Steve pulled back a ways; his mouth looked all shiny in the flickering light from the fire. “Bill. What’s up?”

“Uh?” Billy said. “I’m good.”

“You seem kinda – you’re going all zombie on me again.” He sent Billy his favorite crooked smile. “You okay?”

“What?” Billy sat up some more and Steve shifted off his lap. He tried to shake the weird feeling; he actually shook his head a little like a dog. “Oh. No no, man, I’m good. Was, uh. Sorry. I was thinkin’ about the kid for a minute.” Steve looked blank so he said, “Eleven.” Then felt strange for calling her that; he never called her that.

“Great, that’s really sexy, thanks.” Steve made a face like Billy was being funny.

Billy huffed out a laugh; it died halfway up his throat. “Yeah, fuckin’ weird. I’m done.”

“Hey, if you’re not into it – “

“I’m into it.”

“We don't have to do anything if you don’t want – “

Jesus God Harrington really thought he was some kinda wilting flower or whatever. “No, I want,” Billy told him; his hard-on from earlier was back and he wasn’t plannin’ on letting it go to waste. “Swear I’m good. I’m done.”

“Okay, good.”

“So come back over here.”

Steve shifted back over to him and Billy grabbed the hem of his t-shirt. He ran his hands up over Steve’s back; felt like he’d never want to stop touching him. He liked the way Harrington’s chest fit against his when they moved closer together. There was something so familiar about his body now, all the stupid corny shit he’d say all the time; Billy adored it really. He’d never really had it with anyone before. The way his body felt against his, Steve’s mouth on his mouth. It was too good. He didn’t really have to think about anything when they were together.

They kissed for a while; they didn’t even really start touchin’ each other right away. It was too good, and they had all night. Harrington and the fire and being a little high had Billy feeling all the real emotions again. He ran his hand through Steve’s hair, watched the soft fall of it as it tumbled back against the side of his face. Really Billy had the prettiest boy in the world.

Somehow he wound up stretched back against the couch cushions, Steve leaned out above him. His pointy hipbones dug into Billy’s stomach when Billy grabbed his ass and pulled him tight against him. He bit Billy’s bottom lip hard; Billy grunted and pushed his hips up to meet his.

Settling back against the couch felt like falling; it was as if a jolt went through him. For a second it was like he was tumbling down a hill. He saw it flash in his mind quick as a bolt of electricity, dark trees and the cloudy moonlight. The leaves felt cold and wet under his feet.

Steve bit his lip harder and then too-hard; Billy jerked away. Steve’s eyes were big as he sat up. “Shit – uh, s-sorry. I … “

Now he was just back on the couch again. Well he knew he’d always been on the couch; it was too weird. “Uh,” Billy said too. “No, you’re good.”

They stared at each other. Steve ran his hand through his pretty hair; he was making a face that wasn’t too pretty. “Yeah,” he said slowly and kind of laughed. “Uh, sorry – this is fucking weird – uh, I keep thinking about El too, it’s totally turning me off.”

“Yeah. Me too.” How many times in one night could a boner die before you had to give up and bury it.

“Okay, cool, so is that not weird to you?”

“Nah, it’s pretty weird.”

“Yeah – so I just – “ Steve was shifting off him; Billy sat up too.

“Keep gettin’ like these flashes – “

“Outside, right?” Harrington was lookin’ at him with his puppy dog eyes all wide. He moved away a little so they were just sittin’ next to each other and not all entangled anymore.

The window rattled again. ”Yeah. S’real cold.”

“Great, so this is just a thing that’s happening, I guess, why is this a thing that’s happening?”

“No clue.” The moon was so big, peeking out from the tall tree branches. God, it was too freaky, shit being in his head when he didn’t want it being in his head. He almost couldn’t talk.

“So is she like out there or what?”

He gave Harrington a look; he had no clue whether or not he was seein’ the same shit Billy was seein’. “What do you think?”

“I just – “ Steve looked back at him, blank. “I don’t – okay, I didn’t think – that was happening anymore, I didn’t think she was still like disappearing or whatever.”

Billy scratched at his cheek and then pushed his hand away from his face. “Nah, she got out the other week.”

“Sounds like we’re talking about a fucking dog or something,” Steve muttered. “Why are we seein’ her?”

“I’m not seein’ her,” Billy told him. He was seeing the black ground and the dark trees, feeling rain sluice down on him and sharp rocks on the soles of his feet.

“Whatever, you know what I – “

“Man, I don’t fucking know!” Billy snapped. “Maybe we’re in her radar or whatever.”

Steve’s face wrinkled up into a scowl; Billy got a huge flash of what he was gonna look like when he was forty-five and pissed off. “Okay, that’s, that’s great!” He got up off the couch and stalked over to the fireplace, fucked around with the vents so it’d die. “That’s so great.” He turned and started rounding up the steps in an agitated way.

“What you doing?”

Steve stopped and stared at him incredulously. “What do you _think_ I’m doing, asshole? We have to – go and get her!”

Billy started. “Oh. Right.”

“Jesus.”

Up the stairs they went; the dogs skittered after them as they crossed the kitchen. Steve opened up a cabinet and slammed a big yellow phone book on the table. He started rifling through it.

Billy stared at him; he could feel the rain cutting into his skin even as he stood under the warm light of the kitchen fan. “Okay, what the fuck are you – “

“What, you don’t want a pizza?” Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m calling Hopper, you fucking stoner, I want to make sure the kid’s not at home before I go ruining my night!”

Billy was pretty sure she wasn’t at home. Steve leaned on the counter island with the phone cord wrapped around his wrist as he dialed; he snapped his fingers twice at Billy like a den dad. “Can you, uh, I think there’s some flashlights under the, next to the sink – “

“Gotcha.”

No one answered at the chief’s house – “FUCKING perfect!” Harrington snapped like a cranky bitch – and they set off into the night; it seemed pretty important that they go. They went right around to the side of the house and into the woods beyond it without even talking. It was raining even harder now than it had been when Billy’d first got there; they were both soaked in two seconds.

“This is SO FUCKED UP!” Steve burst out and broke their silence; his voice sounded faint against the heavy drumming of the rain and the howl of the wind.

“No shit.” He wondered if Harrington could feel the rain hitting him double, like a mirror image. It was too fucking freaky. “You wanna walk a little faster?”

“I am walking fast, asshole – “

“Quit fuckin’ swearing at me,” Billy snapped at him. “Why you always fuckin’ screaming at me?”

“Oh, my god, I’m not doing that, you – “ it was pretty dark but even so he could see Steve making a great face – “do you know where we’re going?”

Billy swung his flashlight like a light-saber; it made a crazy pattern against the trees. “Why would I know where we’re goin’.”

“Well you’re walkin’ ahead of me like you know where we’re going so – “

“Because you’re fucking slow.”

Harrington made a sound like a tea kettle going off. “NO, I’M NOT.”

“Screaming at me again.”

“You are _so_ sensitive when you’re stoned,” Steve told him; he reached out to steady him when Billy almost tumbled over a fallen branch. “This is really wonderful, this is givin’ me flashbacks to our great adventure last summer.”

“Yeah, you’re even more annoying than you were back then,” Billy said; Steve made a sour face at him. “QUIT PUTTING THE LIGHT IN MY FACE, BITCH!” Harrington shined the flashlight in his face some more.

They walked on deeper into the woods as if tugged by a string. Neither of them talked. It seemed like they walked for a long time even though it couldn’t have been a long time. Billy could see what the kid was seeing and it freaked him out; he almost walked into a tree twice.

“You know where she is?” he asked Harrington.

Steve’s hair was plastered to the side of his face and his little t-shirt looked like a second skin; he wasn’t wearing a jacket like Billy was. “I – think so. I used to play out here as a kid, the railroad tracks are right – “

A loud crack from the trees made them both start; it might not be anything. They came to a steep rise where the ground turned rocky and Billy knew the lake wasn’t too far. He tumbled over a rock and Steve yanked his shoulder so hard it felt like it was going to rip out of his socket; he swung his flashlight around and there was the kid stumbling at him.

She hit Billy like a ton of bricks and he almost fell over backwards onto Harrington. He felt a crack in his head like thunder – _GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY_ – and then it was gone. Steve said, “Holy _shit._ ”

He shone the flashlight on them and Billy winced. He was holdin’ El at arm’s length; she was bleeding a lot even though the rain was washing it away as it came. Her little eyes looked like black diamonds in her head.

“Get the fucking light off me,” Billy snapped. “Kid, what you doin’ out here?”

Elijane didn’t answer him; she started crying real hard like something had snapped in her. “I’M SORRY!”

“Uh, you’re okay – “

“What the _fuck_ is she – ?”

El flung herself at both of them and climbed up him like a howler monkey; Billy almost fell over again. She was in a little pink nightgown and her feet were all cut up. He couldn’t really tell what she was feelin’ anymore. She cried onto his shoulder like she was gonna break in half.

Steve shone the flashlight on them again. “Okay, yeah, we need to get the fuck out of here – “

“Yeah, thanks,” Billy snapped; he hefted the kid over his shoulder and tried not to fall down. “You’re fucking blinding me – “

“Sorry, sorry, Jesus Christ – “

“Just fucking tell me which way to walk – “

They stumbled back through the forest and Billy was pretty sure he’d freak the fuck out if he stopped to think. There were too many thoughts in his head; they were all his again though. It was too crazy, what they were doing. It felt like a dream, some kinda nightmare.

El’s little head lolled on his shoulder; she kept flopped around like a corpse and Billy had to keep shifting her. They broke through the woods on the other side of Fairview Ave and Steve turned his flashlight off. “We look like a pair of fucking kidnappers,” he said. “El, can you walk?”

Elijane didn’t answer him. “I think she’s out cold, man.”

“Uhhh my god,” Steve said in a great voice. Billy shifted the kid to his other shoulder. She only weighed about a sack of potatoes but a sack of potatoes got pretty heavy when you was cartin’ it around through the woods for a mile.

They reached Harrington’s house and had a great screaming match when they realized Steve had locked the front door behind them; he ran around to the backyard to get the spare key and Billy leaned the kid up against the frame of the door. She wasn’t knocked out but she wasn’t talking; her eyes were blank and her head was tilted down and blood was running out of her nose into her mouth. Billy didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t want to touch her too much.

Steve got the door open and they frog-marched the kid into the kitchen; the dogs skittered after them like wildmen.

“Oh, my god, I cannot deal with this right now, this is way too much for a fuckin’ Thursday,” Harrington was babbling out like a crazy person; he snapped the kitchen light on and Billy deposited Elijane up onto the counter. She stared blankly ahead like a zombie. “What the fuck’s wrong with her, did we break her?”

“Man, I don’t know.”

Steve stared at him; in the light of the kitchen he face had taken on an almost gray hue. “Jesus, you are – covered in blood.”

Billy looked down at himself. “What else is new.” It wasn’t his for a change.

“Did she blow a brain vessel or something?”

“How the _fuck_ am I supposed to know?” Billy snapped; he reached out and shook her shoulders. She didn’t move so he put his hands on her face. “Kid, you okay?”

She stared at him with her weird blank eyes; it kinda felt like lookin’ at himself when he was having one of his freak-outs or something. He didn’t really know what to do. “Hey. El. What happened?”

“Should you smack her or something?”

“Oh, my god, stop fuckin’ talking!”

“What! When someone’s in shock you’re supposed to, you know, smack 'em – “

Fuckin' Christ. “It’s not _Night Heat_ , you fucking asshole!”

“Oh, excuse me, I don’t know what the hell y – “

Billy ignored him. He shook the kid again a little; he was almost scared to do it. “Hey, man, are you – “

Elijane’s dazed eyes flicked up suddenly and met his; Billy felt them burning through him. He felt a hot rush like his whole body was on fire and he was pretty sure she was about to explode him in a fucking minute. The kitchen light buzzed above them and got real bright. “Uh, you oka – “

“I DON’T _WANT_ TO _GO,_ ” El screamed at him; he felt her push out with her whole goddamn mind and shove him. He flew back like he was in a cartoon and bounced against the island counter in the middle of the room. The sharp edge of the counter hit the small of his back so hard that he went numb for a second. A loud buzz filled the room and then the light on the kitchen fan exploded with a bright flicker.

Steve shouted, “HOLY _SHIT,_ ” like a crazy person and Billy gave out what he felt was a manly inarticulate scream of pain. There was a bit of clattering; Steve fumbled around and turned the little light on about the sink. “Holy FUCK, are you okay?”

“Sure am,” Billy managed from the floor. Harrington gave him a hand up and he stood leaning on him for a minute.

Elijane was sat up on the counter across from them and she was just crying now; she was bleeding a lot again. “I’m sorry,” she wept out in her little voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Steve just stood there staring at her so Billy went back over. “You’re fine, kid,” he told her. “What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t remember,” she stuttered out.

“That’s okay,” Billy said. “You’re okay.”

El sniffed and snotted out more blood. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t mean to.” God it freaked him the fuck out.

Billy went and sat on the counter next to her; it took him a couple tries to heft himself up. He was pretty sure he was gonna have the bruise of his life. Harrington did what he was best at and freaked the fuck out.

Steve swept up the glass from the busted light bulb and Billy sat on the counter and handed the kid dish towel after dish towel as she wiped her face off. She bled for a long time. Billy sat and looked at her; he felt cold-soaked through to his bones and his t-shirt and jacket were sticking to him. He wished to fuck he could go back to two hours earlier when he’d been hooking up with Steve alone in his basement, even to a little before that when they’d been fighting. Actually he wished to fuck he could go back to before he’d ever even heard of fuckin’ Hawkins, Indiana. He could feel the hurt radiating off the kid; felt like something was broken inside, a huge wall crumbling. He didn’t understand it.

It was way past midnight now which meant they’d been outside for over an hour. It hadn’t felt like an hour; it felt way longer. Billy wondered how long the kid had been out there.

Harrington got her some old clothes of his mom’s – sweatpants and a little t-shirt that said _Michigan is for Lovers_ and she toddled off, still crying, to get changed in the living room. She was gonna fucking cry forever it seemed.

Steve stared at him with his big doe-eyes all wide. “This is too fucked up,” he said. “What the fuck’s wrong with her?”

“I dunno,” Billy said; he was still sitting on the counter. “Puberty?” Steve made a great face. “What, it happened to Carrie.”

“Oh, my GOD, I cannot believe you’re making jokes right now – “

“It ain’t a joke, why don’t you do something fucking useful?” Steve stared at him blankly. “Call the chief again, asshole!”

“Oh. Right.” Steve started and went back to the phone on the kitchen wall.

Elijane appeared back in the doorway; the little fitted t-shirt was hanging on her and her curly hair was lank against her shoulders. She looked so small. Her nose was still bleeding and her little eyes looked dark in her pale face. “He won’t answer. He’s not – he’ll come here for me.” She looked at Steve. “I bled on your couch. Sorry.”

Steve made a face that said he was trying not to make a face. “No, that’s, that’s, that’s fine,” he said with great restraint. “You’re, you’re just, I’ll get you another towel.”

He wandered off in a dazed way. Elijane crossed the room carefully and slipped back up on the counter beside him. She wasn’t crying anymore; neither of them spoke for a few long seconds. Luke and Leia were layin’ together under the table looking at them both.

“I’m sorry I shoved you,” Elijane said finally in her small little voice.

“That’s okay, I been hit harder than that.”

“I didn’t know where I was,” El told him. “I thought you were one of the bad people.”

Billy rubbed his face; just moving made his fucking back hurt. “Yeah, kid, you’re gonna have to tell me what the fuck that means – “

“It doesn’t matter,” she said; Billy didn’t know how she could make her voice sound so small and sharp all at once. “It’s not going to matter.”

“What happened to you? Why was you out there?”

“I can’t – I don’t remember!” Her little face crumpled. “I can never remember! I didn’t mean to – I was at home, I was waiting for – he comes home … at eight one five,” she said all serious; like usually Billy had no clue what that meant. “But he was _late._ And I didn’t _mean_ – and then – and _he’s_ trying to – ”

She was gettin’ all worked up again; Billy felt the real true terror that she was about to cry some more in a minute. “Kid, you’re fine, you’re with me in Harrington’s fancy place – ”

“ – I was alone. When this happens I’m supposed to go to – but I _saw_ you and – “ she paused for a second. “You had a good dinner?”

Jesus God. “Yeah, it was okay, you fuckin’ spy.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Billy told her; Steve walked back in before he could ask if she had a fuckin’ censor or whatever.

Steve still looked like he was about to lose his mind or pop a blood vessel; he handed the big fluffy bathroom towel over to Elijane.

Elijane took the towel. “I’m sorry I ruined your date,” she said; Steve looked even more like he was gonna pop a blood vessel.

“WHAT?” he said all loud. “No, you – that’s, that’s fine. We’re great. You’re fine here. I mean, we’re not – ”

“Take a breath, Harrington,” Billy advised him; Steve took two. Billy realized he was gonna catch holy hell if Maxine ever found out that El’d known about him and Harrington before she did and he had to take a breath too. He went back down to the basement and got the rest of his joint. The fire in the fireplace was out which he guessed was good.

“BILL! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Steve said when Billy leaned over the stove to light up.

“What?” He slid back onto the counter next to the kid. “Ain’t nothing she hasn’t seen before.”

“Oh, my god.” Steve sat at the table and looked annoyed while Billy smoked the rest of the joint. He looked agitated and grumpy and then he just looked tired. He rested his head in his arms and stared at Billy and El sittin’ up on the counter. He asked El if she was okay or if she was hungry. She said yes so Steve got up and set about makin’ the kid some pasta.

“I could eat too,” Billy said.

“Oh, of course you fuckin’ could,” Steve said like a cranky bitch; the corner of Elijane’s mouth ticced up in a little smile, first one Billy’d seen in a minute.

Harrington calmed down a little with something to do. He made the kid her pasta and sent the dogs back out into the rainy night because Elijane said the chief was coming soon. Billy could tell he didn’t really want to let the dogs out.

“There’s no one out there,” Elijane told him; she was sittin’ up at the table now like a proper lady.

Steve made the face he made that said he was trying hard not to be irritated. “Oh, okay, I didn’t say – could you, you maybe not do your freaky mind-reading thing for, like, five minutes?”

“Sorry.”

“Why you wanna fuckin’ talk to her like that?” Billy asked him.

“I’m not talking to her like anything.” Harrington thunked her plate down in front of her; he was avoiding Billy’s look that said he was being a grade-a douchebag.

Elijane ate her pasta; she liked buttered noodles just like every other little kid. She still was a little kid even though she’d just turned thirteen Billy guessed. She still got lost sometimes. He ate his spaghetti too. Harrington stood leaned up against the sink, staring at them and chewing on his nails like a weird person.

“This is like some crazy nightmare I’d have,” he said. “You guys are even making a mess and eating weird food.”

“You made it,” Billy pointed out.

“It’s good,” Elijane said.

Steve rubbed his face. “I – yeah, thanks.”

At a quarter to two the dogs started baying out in the yard; red-and-blue lights flashed by the side-window and settled in the driveway. Hop started banging away on the front door before Harrington could even cross the room. “Jesus,” Steve muttered and disappeared. A second later Billy could hear the chief askin’ all crazy “ _Where is she?_ ”

Hopper appeared in the kitchen and stood staring at them; he wasn’t in his police-chief uniform. He looked at Billy. “Oh, you’re here too,” he said. He stared some more. “I guess you ate already,” he said blankly.

“Yeah, we’re just having a party,” Steve said from behind him like a cranky bitch; even though he was high and still totally freaked out Billy couldn’t help but think that hell yeah that was his cranky bitch.

Hop ignored him; he pulled a chair out and sat down next to Elijane. “What the hell happened, where did you go?” he asked her.

“I’m sorry.”

“What the hell are you _wearing?_ ”

Elijane looked down at herself. “I got confused again.”

“Oh, is, is that what you guys call it?” Steve asked from the doorway like a hysterical bitch.

Hopper rubbed his face. “Look, she has these blackouts – “

“Yeah, I know she has – “

“ – it’s not like I can take her to a regular doctor without her – “

“I don’t need a doctor,” Elijane said.

“You’re supposed to go to the Byers’ house.”

“I didn’t know where I was.”

“We found her,” Billy said.

Hopper stared at him. And stared at him. Billy stared back at him. “Hargrove, are you high?” he said finally.

“Uh, what?” Billy said.

“He already ingested it, there’s no evidence,” Harrington told the chief.

Hopper looked real tired; he looked about sixty years old. He said, “I’m sorry you guys had to deal with this shit – ”

El clinked her little fork onto her plate. “I SAID sorry already!”

“I’m sure you said sorry,” Hopper said flatly; he still looked real tired. “I’m not mad at you – “

“YOU were late!”

“I KNOW I was late!” The chief started yellin’ right back at her in two seconds which Billy didn’t really think was neccesary. “I got you your stupid movie, YOU weren’t there to watch it!”

“What movie did you get?” Billy asked.

“Bill, shut up,” Steve begged him.

Hopper and the kid were ignoring them anyway. Elijane had her super-glare on that rivaled Maxine’s.

Billy’d kinda thought that maybe they’d have some kinda tearful reunion or something; apparently they didn’t do that shit. Then again it wasn’t like this was the first time this’d happened with the kid so maybe it was just business.

“You always do this!” Elijane was telling the chief.

“ _I_ always do this? Oh, I always do this, I – I crawl out of my window and I, I go walking around town in the middle of the night like a – ”

“NO! YOU are always late!”

“I was _one_ hour late.”

Billy thought an hour was pretty long. Somehow he managed not to make a comment.

“You said you would help me – “

“I am helping you, do you want to walk home?”

El glared hard at Hopper; to his credit the chief only looked the tiniest bit scared. “That’s not _fair._ ”

“Can stay with your buddies Billy and Steve if you really want, you can tell them all about how they never do anything to help y – “

“Uh, yeah, thanks, I actually have to go to work in like six hours,” Steve said like a hysterical bitch; everyone ignored him.

“I ain’t got school,” Billy put in too. Elijane looked at him and Hopper gave him a big annoyed glare.

“No, I’m not doing this here, we can go home now,” he said. “It’s three in the morning.”

Elijane folded her little arms up and scowled. “So _what?_ ” Jeez she was good.

“ _So_ it’s three in the morning,” Hop told her flatly; he stood up and scraped his chair back against the table.

“I don’t want to go home.”

“That’s too bad, I can tell you don’t want to go home,” Hop told her. “You got all these freaking powers in your head or whatever you’ve got, you could have told me where you were at if you – “

“I DON’T have any powers, YOU SAID you would help me – “

“I AM HELPING YOU,” the chief said. Billy was pretty sure that he and Steve were whipping their heads back and forth like in the cartoons. “Get up.”

“You SAID you would find Papa – “

Hopper rubbed at his eyes. “There is nothing to find,” he gritted out.

“What the hell is she talking about?” Steve asked.

“Nothing, she’s not talking about anything – “

“Yeah, if there’s like some crazy guy out there – “

“Harrington,” the chief interrupted him. “If there was some guy from the lab out there, don’t you think I’d know? There’s nothing, there’s no one.”

“That’s not true,” Elijane said in a big sulk.

“Look, she just has this nightmare about the guy who used to take care of her – “

“IT’S NOT A NIGHTMARE!” Elijane narrowed her eyes and glared at him.

“Yes it is, you _got rid_ of him already, maybe you don’t remember that – “

El sat back in her chair; the legs of it scraped a little as she pushed herself back. “ _You’re_ my nightmare,” she told the chief darkly.

Hopper looked all offended like she’d said a million swear words at him; he even leaned back a ways. “Excuse me? You’re MY nightmare!” he told her all loud.

“GOOD!” Elijane said. She said, “I want to stay with Billy! I will stay with him and then I’ll go to Mike’s – “

“Yeah, no, that’s not happening – “

“I want to stay with Billy!” Elijane said again. “I threw him into the counter! HE’S not yelling at me!”

“Oh, my god, as beautiful as that is – “

Truly Billy felt touched. Even so: “Kid, you can’t stay at my place, not gonna be any fun slummin’ with me while my dad’s hanging around.”

Elijane stared at him. “I said that I can get rid of him.”

“Okay, NOPE, that is NOT how we do things,” the chief said all loud; he grabbed the back of her chair and pulled it out from the table. “Let’s go, get up, I’m not going to listen to your kill-list again.”

“I wouldn’t do it if he said no,” Elijane grumbled. She got up from the chair. She stood there with her shoulders hunched like a little zombie; the chief put his big coat around her and guided her towards the doorway.

“Let’s go, nightmare, I mean it.” He looked up at Harrington. “Sorry about this. Thanks for getting her.”

Harrington was still just standing by the sink looking overwhelmed. “Sure thing,” he said faintly.

“Call me if you need something.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Thank you for the pasta,” Elijane said.

“Uh, you’re welcome.”

“Bye Billy.”

“Later kid,” Billy said.

“Sorry I threw you.”

“Yeah, that’s all right.”

Elijane and the chief disappeared into the hallway. A second later the front door opened up and then closed again; the lights of Hopper’s Jeep went on. They listened to the rumble of the car as it started up and backed down the driveway.

Steve went around to the back door and let the dogs back in; they skittered through the kitchen and dragged mud everywhere.

“Great, thanks,” Steve said. He sat down at the table next to Billy; neither of them said anything for a while. They watched the pups sniff around.“This is too fucked up.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. He wished he had more pasta.

Steve turned and stared at him. His little t-shirt was all torn up from runnin’ around outside and he had a streak of dirt on the side of his throat; Billy thumbed it off. Harrington still looked about to freak in a minute so Billy kept the hand on the back of his neck. Steve told him, “You look like total dogshit.”

He was too sweet. “Yeah, feel like it too.”

“Is, is your back okay?”

“Think so.” Billy slid down in the chair; his knee knocked against Harrington’s. “Man. She almost knocked me outta my fuckin’ sneakers.” What a woman.

Steve didn’t look particularly enthralled by her. “This is too fucked up,” he said again.

Billy thought about it; he finally moved his arm away and rubbed at his face a little. “How many guns you think Hop had on ‘im?” he asked.

“ _Jesus,_ ” said Steve loudly. "You are so annoying." Billy laughed.

 

* * *

 

The weekend kind of sucked; he didn’t get to see Harrington at all after their big night together. Billy’s old man had came home at some point in the night so he had to park his car way down on the street and sneak in through his window at five AM. He stuffed his muddy and bloody clothes deep down into his laundry hamper; he was going to have to make sure Susan didn’t come in his room to try and wash his clothes like she sometimes did. Anyway he could just lie and say it was from basketball practice like usual or somethin’.

He got to sleep in til about ten before his dad started up with his usual bullshit knocking down his and Maxine’s doors; they were so lazy apparently. He took Max out to the arcade, ignoring the look his old man gave them as he left. Just because he was a sick fuck didn’t mean Billy was a sick fuck.

At the arcade he detailed his romantic night with Harrington to Max (okay, he left out the part about hooking up on the couch) so’s she wouldn’t hear about it from any of the creepy kids and totally flip the fuck out on him. Max asked him about a million questions; it was an actual relief when noon hit and Billy got to run off to work.

His back really did hurt pretty bad; he guessed he was movin' kinda slow or whatever. Hank glared at him as he hobbled about bringing in a box of parts to the back. Billy already knew what he was thinking.

“My dad ain’t do this to me, I got beat up by a thirteen year old girl,” Billy told him.

“You’re funny, Bill.” Billy thought so. Hank let him leave at six so he could go off to the movies with Will.

“Mike’s already flipping out,” Byers told him; somehow he knew all the shit already even though Maxine was off at work too. “I don’t think it’s been really bad like this for a while.”

Wheeler wasn’t the only one flipping out. Steve’s mom came home early and flipped her shit too; Harrington told him about it on the phone on Saturday. One of their neighbors had called her and told her that there’d been police lights in her driveway at 2am and she was not exactly happy. She’d came home late Friday morning and freaked out, then she’d seen the bloody dishtowels still in the sink and freaked out even more. Steve’d been doing damage control with her all day, he’d told Billy.

“She’s been on the phone with Hopper like three times which has been so fun,” Steve told him. “Uh, probably can’t leave my house for like a week, she’s got me on super lock-down.”

“So … basically what you’re sayin’ is you can’t come to game night.” Billy was crashed out on the couch with his old man at the bar and Susan off at work; Maxine was burnin’ something in the kitchen.

“Sorry, I know you wanted to kick my ass at Operation. I’m totally stuck here, my mom is lookin’ at me right now. You can make fun of me if you want.”

Really Billy’d kill to spend a Saturday night with his own mom; he didn’t know how Harrington didn’t know that. “You should hang out with your mom anyway,” he said. “You guys can watch _Murder She Wrote_ together.”

“That’s not on tonight, asshole.”

“You ain’t got it taped?” Billy asked him; at this point he could hear Harrington willfully ignoring him even over the phone. “Hey, come to my game on Monday, I’ll dedicate my free throws to you.”

“Don’t make me cry,” Steve said. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

Billy didn’t have anything to do but go to the Byers’ house with Maxine; Will had already asked him too and he’d asked what kind of soda Billy wanted. Billy couldn’t just _not go_ , especially if the kid was gonna be buying fuckin' snacks for him. Max had looked at him like he was real hilarious when he’d said that.

Jonathan Byers was at home too which meant Billy had to suffer lookin’ at him. He played a round of poker with them in their little living room and listened to the kids fire their questions about El off at Billy; he was really terrible at cards, almost as bad as Henderson and Sinclair.

Wheeler Jr was probably actually the most decent player out of them all; he’d bailed out of the game night to go and hang with Elijane though. Billy didn’t know why the kid couldn’t just come over. Maybe she was tired of Henderson’s fat mouth.

“Billy, what’s the difference between bluffing and CHEATING?” he asked as Billy won another hand.

“Nothing, if you’re a total douchebag,” Sinclair said; since Maxine was right next to him scowlin’ away with her lousy two-pair Billy managed not to make a comment. He really wanted to make a comment. He almost did.

“Can you show us the bruise from where El threw you again?” Henderson asked him.

“No, you fuckin’ weirdo,” Billy said. “Gotta pay money if you wanna see that shit again.”

Henderson made a face. “I’m losing all my money to you anyway!”

“How’d she manage to fling you across the room if she said she doesn’t have any powers?” Jonathan asked him; Billy shrugged.

“Said before she ain’t really strong no more.”

“It’s _probably_ the Gate,” Henderson said; everyone sighed.

Byers looked thoughtfully (also hideous). “Maybe she’s adapting or something. Don’t you think they would get weaker as she got older? It’d probably be the best thing, anyway.”

“Uh, _no,_ then she can’t do anything cool, why would that be the best thing?” Dustin yapped.

Maxine threw her two-pair at him. “God, I hope you didn’t say that to her, idiot!”

“What? I have big plans for her!”

“Leave my wife alone,” Billy told him.

Henderson started grinning. “You could file a suit against her for domestic abuse, you could get Hopper’s Jeep.”

“God, you guys are so stupid,” moaned Sinclair like a cranky bitch. He was not Billy’s cranky bitch.

Billy fanned his cards out and showed his hand to Maxine; she smiled encouragingly. “You guys throwing down or what?” he asked Jonathan and Henderson. Wills and Sinclair were already out and were watchin’ from the couch.

“I guess I fold,” Jonathan said; he had one of his weird creepy smiles on his face.

Henderson hesitated as he tried to read Billy. “Okay, I fold too,” he said finally.

“HAHA!” Billy said and tossed his cards down; he only had two-pair too. “Gimme your dollars, fuckheads.”

“OH, MY GOD, BILLY!” Henderson yelled. He threw his arm up and pointed at Max. “You’re in on this with him!”

“The Family splits the proceeds,” Max said like a little gangster as she piled their cash up close to her.

“I knew you were going to do that,” Jonathan told him; he was still smiling like Billy was funny to him or something. Billy ignored him and dealt out another hand.

 

By Monday he was about ready to go back to school. That rarely happened but it sucked at home with his old man there. He didn’t want to go over to Harrington’s with his mom all freaked out; couldn’t bullshit with Maxine all day with his dad there being a huge fuckface.

Sometimes Neil liked to beat on him when Max did something to piss him off; he hadn’t thought about his dad goin’ at her in case Billy made him mad over whatever. It’d be so much worse for a girl, he figured. He didn’t think his dad would go at her but he stayed out of both their ways regardless.

Monday he got more weed off Angela Davis; she was giving him so much weed lately. He hoped she didn’t want him to ask her to prom or some shit. He wasted away in the library until past six doin’ his stupid fucking research paper some more and then it was time to play. Harrington was at the game like he’d said he would be with Henderson. Sinclair was there too to look moony over Maxine, Billy supposed.

He was sore as fuck after the game ended – number fourteen from Bloomington had slammed him good, twice. He wondered if his fucking arm would ever feel normal again; maybe it was raining outside or whatever and his back still hurt. When he got back to the locker room his bag was open which he thought was weird; he hoped no one had hawked his smokes. He pulled out his spare t-shirt and a note fell out with it.

Billy leaned down quick to pick it up; either way nobody was really paying attention to him. The note was on half a sheet of notebook paper. _Meet me._ _T_ _he gym._

Jesus God. There was no name signed to it but he knew it was from Harrington just about instantly. He knew what Steve’s handwriting looked like. Billy rolled his eyes; really he didn’t know whether to smile or scowl. Harrington was such a little idiot leaving notes in his bookbag like they was in elementary school or something. They were gonna have to have a fucking talk about that shit.

He stuffed the note back in his bookbag and started to get undressed. They still had classes tomorrow of course; half of the guys didn’t stay to shower or nothin’ and Billy was alone after a couple minutes. He spent a while showering in the empty locker room just because he could; Harrington could wait for him. It was kinda sad that they got hotter water here at school than they did out at Billy’s house.

With the weird way the school was set up the girls’ locker room was right off the gym and the boys’ was down the corridor. Billy got dressed again and set off down the hall to meet his little idiot. Like usual he thought it was kind of cool being in school with no one else around; probably that was sort of lame or whatever.

The big main hallway was pretty dim with half the lights turned off. Inside the gym it was almost completely dark; there was just a little square of light from the opened door and then the white-gold moon shining in through one of the sky-windows and reflecting off the floor. Harrington was standing leaned up against the closed bleachers like the dethroned king of Hawkins High. Billy hadn’t noticed earlier but he was wearing the dorky bumblebee shirt again.

He went over to Steve. “What you want?”

“Oh, hey, it’s you,” Steve said; he was smiling. “We really need to stop meeting like this.”

Billy almost smiled too but then he remembered he was supposed to be annoyed. He ran a hand through his hair. “Man, you cannot start leaving fucking love notes for me, you outta your mind?”

Steve made a face like Billy was being cute. “Yeah, that, that wasn’t a love note, I can do way better than that.”

Jesus God Harrington was such a flirt; he thought he could work Billy over in two seconds. Okay usually he could. “What you want?” he said again. “Why’d you wanna meet me in here?”

Steve played around with the hem of Billy’s t-shirt. He was making one of his cute frowny-flirty faces; Billy knew all the faces he could make so well. He looped two fingers under Billy’s belt and pulled him forward a little. ”You know I have that thing for you in your basketball uniform,” he said real sweet.

Billy licked his lips. “I’m not wearing that now.”

“Yeah, that’s a shame.”

“You wanna talk or something?”

“Mmm. Not really,” Steve said.

Shit. He tugged Steve’s hand away from his belt. “I ain’t hookin’ up with you in here, someone’s gonna walk in.”

“There’s one here anymore, it’s past eight.”

“Oh yeah? What ‘bout the kids?” Billy asked him; in two seconds he felt like some kinda gay dad or something.

“They’re probably like halfway to the diner by now, I said I wasn’t giving any rides home.” Steve was pulling him forward again; any second Billy was gonna stop him.

“Too bad, I ain’t doin’ shit with you.”

“Chill out, I just wanted to see you,” Steve said. “I didn’t see you all weekend, I’m probably not gonna see you like all week now.”

“Such a fuckin’ dork,” Billy muttered. “So what, your mom still flipping out at you?”

“Yeah, she’s pretty freaked. I mean, not at you or anything. She keeps saying she didn’t even know Hopper had a daughter, maybe I shoulda said it was his niece or something.”

All the while he was inching closer to Billy; he put his other hand on the back of Billy’s neck.

Billy shook him off. “Quit distractin’ me, get the hell off me.”

Steve laughed at him a little. ”There’s literally no one here, you took _forever,_ man.”

“Had to get all fancy for ya.”

“You always look fancy.”

“Thanks, I try real hard.”

“Yeah, I know you do,” Steve said like an asshole.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Fuck off,” he said right away.

Steve laughed at him some more; apparently he was gettin’ a real kick out of him tonight. “God, can you be nice for one minute?”

“Don’t know how,” Billy said. He let Steve pull him a little closer.

“Sure you do.” Steve had an arm around him again; he played with Billy’s wet hair that was falling over his shoulder for a moment. “I, uh, I just missed you, okay?”

He was making Billy have that squirmy love-dope feeling again; it was almost as good as doing coke. “Whatever,” he said. “Guess I missed you too.”

“Okay, so why you being a bitch?” Steve asked; he was teasing him. “Lemme get it.”

“Fuck off,” Billy said again. His blood was already boiling away with Steve touching him; he felt like a fucking girl or something. He let Steve lean in and kiss him. One day he was gonna figure out exactly what this power was that Harrington had over him and he was going to put a stop to it.

Maybe not today, tonight. It had been a whole weekend away from Steve and Billy had missed him. His old man had came home over the weekend too and he’d had his stupid big essay to start; there just hadn’t been any time. Fucking felt like he never had enough time with Steve even though it wasn’t true. He was a needy bitch too he guessed.

Steve kissed him kinda slowly at first and then he kissed him harder. He yanked the end of Billy’s belt and pulled him in ever-closer. Billy’s sneakers squeaked against the floor of the gym and Steve laughed at him; Billy stretched an arm out and rested one hand against the bleachers above Steve’s shoulder, holding himself up, and kissed him some more.

Harrington’s hands were moving everywhere. He grabbed Billy’s ass and squeezed it; he pushed their hips together. He moved his hands up under Billy’s t-shirt and raked them across his torso. He stroked his fingers against the back of Billy’s neck and pressed a palm against the small of his back; Billy tried not to shudder.

Mind you Billy always felt about on fire with Harrington touching him. It really had been a couple days since he’d seen him, even moreso since they’d actually copped off together and all. He didn’t think he could move away if he wanted to. He didn’t want to; he wasn’t thinking anyway.

There was something almost frantic about the way Steve was grabbing him; it was so interesting. Billy pulled back the slightest bit. Their bottom lips were barely touching. Steve’s eyes were so big and dark; it was like falling into a well. “You horny fuck,” Billy said.

“Hm?” Steve said; he was looking at Billy’s lower lip.

“You get off on this shit, don’t you?”

Harrington laughed a little. “What shit?”

“Yeah, you get off on doin’ this crap in public,” Billy said in delight. He thought back on it: at the movies, the diner bathroom. “Makes you hot, don’t it?” He splayed three fingers on Steve’s belt buckle; Harrington gave out a harsh breath.

“Uhh, maybe,” he said. “Are you really gonna give me crap about what I get off on?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Billy said. “Don’t really care as long as you get off on me.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, so c’mere.” He pulled him in again.

Billy kissed him back and then pulled away; he was pretty sure he was makin’ a face.It felt too fuckin’ weird – he had to come back here tomorrow in about twelve hours. “No, man, I dunno.”

“Bill, there’s literally no one here, if someone comes in we’re gonna hear them, I heard you stompin’ all the way down the hall – “

Steve’s mouth was so nice; Billy stared at it. He was probably right. Harrington was usually right, and he was so pretty, too. He didn’t know how good he looked. “Five minutes.”

“That’s all I need,” Harrington told him. They kissed some more and it made Billy feel real dizzy; he started rubbing at the front of Billy’s jeans and Billy groaned.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, that’s the general idea,” Steve muttered into his mouth.

“You got like three minutes left, what you gonna do?”

Steve laughed. “I can do a lot in three minutes,” he said; he really could.

He put his hand in Billy’s hair and kissed him some more. He got his belt undone and started touching him through his jeans again. Billy grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him harder; their teeth clicked together and he felt Steve’s tongue slick against his. Shit Steve was so hot; he could have Billy whenever he wanted. He could do whatever he wanted. He could –

There was a loud sound like a bunch of books dropping; from the corner of the gym someone said: “Holy _shit._ ”

The boys jerked apart; Billy heard his belt buckle clink as Steve let go of it. It was like a taser of shock going through him, that little sound.

Steve dropped his hands and then reached up and shoved Billy away from him; Billy’d been about to do the same but for some reason it made him real mad. For all his coaxing and all his fucking sweetness Harrington was a little coward just like he was.

Billy did his fly up and looked up; there was someone standing in the doorway to the gym and staring at them, a shadow in the weak light from the hallway. It was Sinclair.

For some reason that made him even madder. Of course it was Sinclair. Of course it would have to be Sinclair. Why wouldn’t it be. From beside him Steve said in this really overwhelmed voice, “Uh, Lucas – “

Sinclair was just standing in the doorway; he was just standing there. He’d dropped his bookbag on the door when he’d seen them Billy guessed. He said again in this really muted voice, “Holy _shit.”_

“Hey, man, you, you can’t say anything,” Harrington was babbling out. Sinclair was staring between them with his eyes all big. His skin shone with the light hitting it; he looked like an overexposed photograph. He said over Steve, ”What the hell are you guys _doing?_ ”

Billy started walking towards him; really he was fucking stomping. He was so pissed off in two seconds and he got madder and madder with every step. He’d known Harrington was going to get them caught sooner or later. He’d fucking told him.

And Sinclair. It had to be Sinclair. Billy didn’t know why he was so angry that it was Sinclair but it just fucking had to be him. Couldn’t be anybody else. He heard Maxine sayin’ in his head _He_ knows _you still hate him!_ It was too good; it was terrible. “You’re gonna get the fuck out of here, man,” Billy said.

Sinclair just stood there in the doorway, fists bunched up and his eyes all wide like he didn’t even realize what was coming at him. He just stood there staring until Billy was right in front of him. “What the hell are you guys _do_ – “

Billy got ahold of his shirt collar with both hands; he lifted Sinclair off his feet and slammed him backwards into the wall by the door. The kid’s head rocked against the hard surface and his legs kicked out from under him in this jerky way, almost as if he was being electrocuted. His eyes widened so much that for a second it looked like they were going to pop right out of his head; Billy’d remember the whites of his eyes later.

There was one second of perfect silence. Then Sinclair’s eyes widened again and he yelled, “OW, YOU ASSHOLE!”

Billy slammed him again the wall again; from behind him Steve said, “Oh my GOD, Bill, put him down!”

Billy ignored him. He was right in the kid’s face. It was so dark in the gym; Sinclair’s skin looked blue against the white concrete wall. His eyes were real bright, flicking around like crazy.

“You ain’t gonna fuckin’ tell anyone you saw us here,” Billy told him.

Sinclair’s eyes bugged out like a crazy person. “Oh, my god, LET ME GO – “

Billy threw him again. “Listen to me, you fuckin’ nigger, you ain’t gonna tell – “

Sinclair jammed his knee up and kicked Billy hard in the ribs; Billy was used to bein’ kicked there so he threw Lucas up against the wall again. “SCREW YOU!” Lucas yelled. “GET THE HELL OFF ME, YOU _SICK FREAK_ – “

“You little motherfucker, you’re – “

Steve was grabbing his shoulder and wrenching him back; Billy held Sinclair against the wall with one hand and dropped the other to elbow Harrington. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me right now, man – “

“Jesus _Christ,_ you’re acting totally insane – “ Steve reached out and grabbed his arm again; he yanked Billy backwards so hard it hurt and he lost his grip on Sinclair.

The kid dropped to the floor and almost fell over once his feet reached the ground. He pressed himself against the wall and slid over to the door, palms flat against the concrete. The rounds of his eyes were darting around everywhere like a wild animal’s; they locked on Billy’s face in a dazed sort of way. Sinclair grabbed his bookbag up without looking away from him.

Then Billy didn’t know what happened because he elbowed Steve in the chest again so Steve grabbed him by both his shoulders and threw him into the bleachers and everything spun for a second.

When everything stopped spinning the doorway was empty again, all silent like no one had ever been there, and he was still angry. He reached out and shoved Steve hard. “WHAT THE FUCK YOU GRABBING ME FOR?” He shoved him again.

Harrington grabbed his shoulders and threw him into the bleachers again; his hair was all crazy in his face. “YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN, ASSHOLE,” he yelled. Steve was always calling him a fucking asshole. He tried to push past him but Steve held him tight against the wall.

He didn’t know what to do; he couldn’t actually hit Harrington. It was like there was this – this barrier or something and he just couldn’t do it. That made him even madder and it made him even dizzier and he pushed into Steve _hard_ ; their chests slammed together and Steve grabbed his arms again and shoved him back and their heads cracked together and it _really fucking hurt_ and fucking shit Billy couldn’t hit him to get him off him.

He didn’t know what to do; he felt like a rabid dog being tortured on a chain. Seriously he was about to fucking bite Harrington or something. Fuck it was so bad. He reached out and shoved him real hard in the left shoulder; Steve made this sound like he was in pain or something so apparently Billy could still hurt him after all.

Harrington stopped shoving him and he stopped pushing him and just put his hands on the side of Billy’s head. He put his hands in Billy’s hair and said, “Billy, _stop._ You need to _stop,_ ” and it felt like all the fucking life went out of him. Billy stopped struggling against him and sagged back against the bleachers.

They just stood like that for a couple seconds. Steve had his hands in Billy’s hair and Billy just stood there. He wanted him off of him; felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Steve was so close to him – his chest kept knocking into Billy’s when he’d breathe in but Billy felt like he couldn’t breathe. His heart was thumpin’ away like he had some kinda disorder and he tasted blood in the back of his throat; he knew there wasn’t really any blood. “Get off me,” he croaked.

Harrington finally moved back a couple inches. He was still standing too close to him and he looked real overwhelmed. “Okay, okay,” he said in weird voice.

“Get the _fuck_ off me.”

Steve stared at him; he was too close. He took his hands out of Billy’s hair and put them in his jeans pocket. “Okay,” he said again. He said, “Bill, you need to calm down.”

“Yeah, I am calm,” Billy said. That was a lie; his heart was still pounding somewhere up in his throat or in his fuckin’ mouth and he was so mad he could barely see. Fuck. Fuck.

“Okay,” Steve said. “Okay, okay, I just – okay, I think – “

“The fuck’s wrong with you, you forget how to fuckin’ talk?”

“Shut up,” Steve said automatically. “I th – okay, I think, you need to, okay, you need to calm down.”

“I AM FUCKING CALM, ASSHOLE!” Billy yelled; Steve just looked at him.

“Okay, well, we should, okay, we need to go – you need to go – and find Lucas so you can apologize to him – ”

“For what?”

Steve stared at him. “Oh, my god, Billy, are – are you _serious?_ ” he said; Billy just looked at him. “You – for what you, for what you just fuckin’ said to him!”

“What I say to him?” Billy asked; he wanted to know if Harrington could even say it.

Steve’s eyes slid away from him. “God, you’re not – I can’t believe you called him that.”

“What, a nigger?” Billy said. The words just kept coming out. “What he is, ain’t he?”

“Jesus, shut the fuck up!” Steve said all crazy; he wasn’t quite looking at Billy anymore. “I’m not, I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Yeah, so what the _fuck_ are you doing with me right now?”

“Look, stop fucking screaming at – “

“HE FUCKING SAW US, ASSHOLE!” Billy yelled at him; he was seeing his whole life flash before his eyes. “Do you not understand that he fucking saw us? He’s gonna tell all his little creep friends now and I’m fucking dead, he tells my dad – “

“Uh, yeah, okay, I _really_ doubt Lucas Sinclair is running off to talk to your father about anything,” Steve said. He actually rolled his eyes and Billy wanted to murder him; it was all red.

“Screw you, you did this.”

“What, I did this?” Steve said. “Oh, I did this, I threw a little kid around the gym and fucking screamed at him like a racist piece of shit – “

“Fuck you, you got us caught,” Billy told him. “Did you plan this _shit?_ What, you couldn’t wait for me to tell Max so you fuckin’ – “

“Oh my god, you’re so stupid, no I didn’t fucking _plan it_ – “

“Oh, I’m stupid?” Billy asked him. “ _I’m_ stupid. You’re the one who fuckin’ – okay, you wanna, you wanna make out with me in the goddamn gym, you wanna make out with me in the fuckin’ diner bathroom, you want me to hold your hand during the fuckin’ movies – “

“Yeah, weird, I didn’t hear you complaining – ”

“Fuck you, you don’t use your head. Anybody coulda fuckin’ seen us any of those times and you don’t even fuckin’ care, I don’t know what you think, you act like – “

“Look, okay, I messed up, just shut the hell up, okay?” Steve snapped. “And you – you, look, don’t act like this is my fucking fault, you’re the one who started all this shit with me, this is what you wanted!”

“This is what I wanted?” Billy repeated incredulously. Every fuckin’ thing Harrington was saying was just making him madder and madder. He needed him to shut the fuck up; there had to be some way to get him to shut the fuck up for once. “You think I want you?”

“Shut up,” Steve said.

“You think I want you?” Billy asked him again.

Steve rolled his eyes. He was standing with his arms crossed and he looked pissed off. That was okay; Billy wanted him to be pissed off. He was looking everywhere but at Billy. “Yeah, you want me, asshole,” he said. “You started this shit with me three months ago, actually you started it two fucking years ago – “

“Yeah, that what you think?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Steve said. “You started this the second you fuckin’ kissed me – “

Billy laughed at him; it felt like knives. He didn’t really know why he was laughing. “Man, I just wanted to see if you’d do it.”

Steve’s eyes were flicking all around his face. “Shut up.”

“I just wanted to see if I could get you,” Billy told him. “And you were _so easy,_ man, I didn’t even have to do _shit_ to get you.”

“Oh my god, fuck you!” Steve shoved at him and pushed him against the bleachers which made Billy laugh some more. Harrington hadn’t really shoved him in a while; felt all right. “Jesus, you don’t need to say this shit to me.”

“Thought you said I could do whatever I want to you.”

“Fuck you.” He was starting his broken record shit. “Oh my god, you’re such a fucking asshole.” He really meant it too.

“Thought you knew that.”

“Fuck you,” Steve said again. He looked like he wanted to shove Billy again; he crossed his arms again instead. “What the hell’s wrong with you, you don’t have to do this, you asshole. It was _one_ person, it was _just_ Lucas – “

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t care about Lucas,” Billy told him. The kid wasn’t here anymore; he was probably on the phone with half the town by now. “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know what you think, man, what do you want? I mean, how fucking long do you think we can do this shit for?”

Steve stared at him blankly for a couple seconds. “I don’t, I don’t know!” he said finally. “What’s – what’s it matter?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter,” Billy said.

“Is – is that really what you wanna talk about right now?“

“Don’t really wanna talk about anything with you right now.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Big surprise.”

“S’that mean?”

“Uh, you know what it means, asshole.” Harrington rolled his eyes again; he looked all pissed off.

“Whatever,” Billy said; Steve scoffed at him.“Okay, lemme, lemme hear what you’re thinkin’ then, I wanna know your thoughts on this, I mean apparently you think I’m such a _racist piece of shit_ anyway – “

“Yeah, that’s what you’re acting like – “

“That’s what I am, you _asshole!_ ” Billy screamed at him; he must be. “I don’t know you fuckin’ think, you think you’re gonna be my fuckin’ boyfriend? We ain’t in fairyland, people don’t like that shit here!”

“Oh, my god, thanks, I know that, it’s not – “

“Just leave me the fuck alone, man,” Billy told him; he didn’t want to do this. He could do it but still a part of him didn’t want to do it. He was mad but he could get a lot madder.

He pushed himself up off the bleachers and moved to go by Harrington; Steve shoved him back pretty hard so Billy guessed he was going to do it.

“No, I’m not done with you, you think you can fucking say all this shit to me – “

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME,” Billy said. “The fuck’s WRONG with you?”

“What's wrong with _me_ – ?”

“Yeah, fucking you! Talkin’ bout, oh, you wanna take me out to all these fucking fancy places, you wanna bring my fucking sister, you wanna take us – you wanna take us camping, you wanna go to the lake with us, we ain’t your fucking family, man!”

Harrington actually flinched just like Billy knew he would; his eyes looked like cold fire in his head. There was real hurt in his face; Billy wanted to see more of it. “Thanks, I fucking know that – “

Harrington had got him feeling so soft lately. He’d been forgetting what he was really like and what he was really good at. “Yeah, you know, you remember you asked me before if me and Max talk about you? We talk ‘bout you all the time, we both feel really fucking sorry for you.”

“ _Fuck_ you.”

“Why you think we hung out with you all December? Fuckin’ Christmastime and your folks left you alone, poor Stevie’s got both his parents and they can’t fucking stand him – ”

“Oh my GOD, fuck you!” Steve said. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

“Yeah, I know you fuckin’ fought with your mom over the Wheeler bitch so much that she ain’t never home anymore, know your dad thinks you’re a stupid piece of shit.”

Steve didn’t say anything for a couple seconds. Finally he said lowly, “You are being _such_ a _fucking asshole_ right now, I’m not doing this with you again – “

“Yeah, you never wanna do this with me, any time I say any shit that’s real you wanna run away like a puppy – “

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT, YOU SHITHEAD?” Steve yelled at him. “YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SCARED OF EVERYTHING! YOU NEVER SAY _ANY_ SHIT THAT’S REAL, YOU NEVER FUCKING SAY ANYTHING! ALL YOU EVER DO IS FUCKING BULLSHIT WITH ME!”

“No I don’t.” He didn’t bullshit with Harrington; he’d told him so much. Steve could hurt him real bad in two seconds and he knew it; Billy didn’t know why he wasn’t doing it back.

“UH, YES YOU DO,” Steve kept on yelling. “I’VE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT WITH YOU FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS AND YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME YOU LIKE ME!”

Jesus Christ he was never going to shut up; like usual Billy had no clue what the fuck he was even talking about. “What kinda retarded shit is that, I’ve fucking told you – ”

“NO YOU HAVEN’T, ASSHOLE,” Steve yelled at him. “YOU LIKE – OH, YOU LIKE MY STUPID DOGS, YOU LIKE MY FANCY HOUSE, YOU LIKE MY FUCKING TV, YOU LIKE MY, MY MOM, YOU LIKE ALL THIS SHIT I GOT, YOU NEVER FUCKING EVEN SAID YOU LIKED ME!”

“Guess I don’t like you,” Billy said automatically; Steve rolled his eyes.

“Oh, my GOD, I’m trying to say – “

“Get a lot of perks for screwin’ around with you.”

“ _FUCK_ YOU!” Steve spit out.

“Your fucking fault if you wanna stay around and deal with me.”

“I DON’T want to deal with you, you total asshole,” Steve told him.

“I guess that’s too bad, everyone’s gonna fucking find out now anyway because of your stupid bullshit.”

Steve looked so irritated he looked like he was about to rip his hair out. “Oh, my god, it was fucking LUCAS, he’s not going to SAY SHIT if we JUST TALK TO HIM – “

“Gonna go tell my sister and your little lackey Henderson, how you think he’s gonna feel when he finds out you’re a big fucking cocksucker? Think he’s gonna want to come over and do some laps in your fancy pool and show off for you?”

“You are such a _fucking_ asshole, you don’t know anything about Dustin, god, you don’t know anything about any of them – “

“I know something about you, do they know you like sucking cock?”

“Oh my god, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Steve screamed at him. “That’s not even what this is – why, why, why are you doing this, you don’t need to fucking do this, you get so – you say all this shit you don’t even fucking mean – “

“I do mean it.”

“No, you don’t,” Steve said. Billy didn’t know how he could be so sure.

“Jesus, you really think you fucking know me?”

Steve just stared at him all dramatic. “I thought I did.”

“Oh, my god, Stevie,” Billy practically moaned. “ _Stevie._ That’s so cute. That what you gonna say later when they come to your door askin’ why you hooked up with me, fuckin’ Henderson and his nigger friend and his – “

“JESUS, STOP SAYING THAT!”

“Stop sayin’ what?” Billy goaded him.

“Oh, my god, shut the – you don’t really mean that. I mean, you can’t, you don’t really think that way – ”

“Yeah, you don’t know what I think.”

Steve looked kind of crazy. His eyes were so big. “Uh, apparently I don’t.”

Billy didn’t know what to say; he felt kind of crazy too. “So what?”

“So what?” Steve repeated. He kind of laughed. “So what. So what? Oh my god, Jesus Christ. Do you – you really think that? That’s just, that’s what you think about me, that’s what you think about Lucas?”

“What, what do I think, that he’s a fucking nigger?”

“OH MY GOD, STOP _FUCKING_ SAYING IT!” Steve yelled. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“Uh, you’re what the fuck’s wrong with me – “

“Shut the fuck up, you’re acting like a total piece of shit right now,” Steve interrupted him.

“I ain’t acting,” Billy told him.

“Yeah, I guess not.” Harrington had his arms folded up like he was protecting himself; he took a step back and just looked at Billy. “I can’t believe you said that to him,” he said again. He sounded like he wasn’t even aware he was still talking. “I didn’t think you were really like that.”

“So what?”

Steve just stared at him. “So … “ he said slowly; he’d never looked at him like that before. “So … Jesus, I – I, I guess if I – if you’re really like that – “ he was just staring at Billy. He chewed on his lower lip and just looked at him. “I mean, if you really think like that … I guess I can’t, I c – I don’t think I could be with someone like that.”

“News flash, you ain’t with someone like that!” Billy told him. Steve was so fucking stupid. “You ain’t with me at all, I’m fucking dead now, you shithead, got caught by the fucking ni – ”

“OH MY GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP!” Steve slammed him into the bleachers again; it really hurt. “YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR FUCKING DAD!”

Billy laughed at him. “Runs in the family.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Steve said; he looked totally disgusted.

“Gets you hot, don’t it? Still wanna hook up?”

“GOD, YOU’RE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT! I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER FUCKING TOUCHED YOU!”

“Yeah, you sure thought I was a fucking racist piece of shit when you dropped to your knees in my room like a faggot and put my cock in your mouth,” Billy said; Steve said, “Fuck you” and punched him in the face.

Billy saw his fist bunch up and he knew it was going to happen before it did; he’d probably been tryin’ to get Harrington to hit him for about five minutes. He didn’t even try to move or close his eyes. He had the time to feel surprised and he thought _Damn, he’s really going for it._ Steve hit him hard in the left side of his jaw and Billy’s head rocked back against the bleachers.

It made a loud sound. Everything spun and Billy felt blood seep out from between his teeth.

He opened his eyes up; he guessed he’d closed them after all. Everything spun around for a second. Steve was just staring at him. His hair was in his face and his eyes were all crazy.

Billy spit some blood onto the gym floor and pushed his own hair out of his eyes. His whole face fucking stung. He licked his teeth; there was a lot of blood on them.

Steve stared at the blood on the floor and then he stared at Billy. He said, “Shit, I’m sor – “

Billy interrupted him. “That was real good,” he told him. He wondered what kinda bruise he was gonna have now. He knew he deserved it but: “Thought you said you wouldn’t hit me like that.”

Steve just stared at him; he looked like he didn’t recognize him. He said, “Bill, I didn’t … “

“You know what, this is really good,” Billy said. “This is, like, a real good stopping point for us, I’m fucking – I’m done with you, man.”

“You – okay, but that’s not – what do you – “

“I SAID I’M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!” Billy screamed at him; he finally reached out and shoved Harrington away from him, _hard_. “I’m fucking done with you, don’t fucking touch me, get the _fuck_ away from me.” He pushed into him again and started walking past him towards the door.

Steve grabbed at him and caught his arm. “Bill, I didn’t mean – “

Billy shook him off. “Fuck you, I don’t care. Leave me alone.”

He stalked out of the gym. Steve didn’t come after him.

 

 

As soon as he got out into the hallway he felt like he was going to fall over. He didn’t fall over; he made it out to his car. He started the Camaro up and drove out of the parking lot. If there’d have been anyone else out there he probably would have hit them.

He didn’t know where to go after he hit the main street; he’d just wanted to get away in case Harrington came out and saw him. He couldn’t think about it, didn’t want to think about it. Eventually he had to park and think about it.

Somehow he wound up in front of Lover’s Lake; he and Harrington had hooked up there once in his fancy car but Billy didn’t want to think about that. He hadn’t meant to come here. He put the car in park anyway.

He sat there looking out at the water; he felt totally blank and kind of dizzy. His mouth hurt a lot; he’d bled out a little onto the front of his t-shirt.

He looked out at the lake; the water was sparkling against the moonlight like in a postcard. It was a full moon. He looked out at the water and the trees on the other side of the little shore. You really could see the chief’s house from here; one little bright light was on upstairs, probably Elijane’s room. He wondered if she could fucking hear him screaming in his head.

It was weird to live in a small town and have everything be so close together. He’d never really thought about how close the chief lived to Harrington until the last week, or how close they were both to the lake and to the school. You couldn’t go anywhere without bumping into someone from down the street. He didn’t know how he and Steve hadn’t gotten caught before.

Fuck. Shit. Steve. He didn’t want to think about it. There was so much shit he didn’t want to think about; he couldn’t believe he’d said all that shit to Harrington or why he hadn’t stopped. He didn’t know how he could have said it all.

Okay he knew; he’d wanted to hurt him. He’d gotten pissed off in two seconds and he’d wanted to hurt him. He still kinda did. It was totally fucked up. The thing was he hadn’t meant any of it so he didn’t know why he’d said it or why he’d even thought it, all the shit he’d said. He cared about Steve so he didn’t know why he’d ever thought any of it.

The thing was though that when you cared about someone you really knew how to hurt them. He wondered if Harrington knew he cared about him; probably not. Definitely not now. He thought about Steve screaming _YOU NEVER EVEN SAID YOU LIKE ME_ and thought that couldn’t be true; maybe it was.

Even worse than Steve – and how could anything be worse – was thinking about Sinclair and how he’d looked when Billy’d grabbed him, when he’d called him what he’d called him.

He hadn’t meant to say it. It had just came out before he could stop it or think about it, then he’d said it even more to piss off Harrington. What did that mean about Billy that he could just say something like that without even thinking it. He couldn’t even remember how many times he’d fucking said it. God he’d said it so many times.

It was so easy to turn right back into what he’d been trying not to be when he was angry; he’d got real angry real fast as soon as he’d seen it was Lucas Sinclair fucking spying on him. Sinclair could always make him real angry real fast; Billy knew why.

He guessed he was a racist piece of shit like Steve’d said. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do about it.

There was something so wrong in him; there were so many things wrong about him. It was like they were stamped down into his bones like a cancer, pouring out of him. He hadn’t meant to say it; felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. He could probably rip some of it off if he tried real hard. It was so bad and Sinclair’s face and Harrington’s face had been so bad when he’d said it. Jesus Christ there was something so fucking wrong in him; he didn’t mean to think that way. He didn’t mean to be that way. He didn’t mean to be like that. He didn’t mean to be like his dad but what the fuck else was he supposed to be. It was already in him.

He sat alone in his car for a long time. He had a new pack of cigs in his pocket; he’d crushed about half of them gettin’ into the car but he sat and smoked the ones that he hadn’t. It took a long while and he sat and smoked and looked at the minutes ticking by on the little clock on the dashboard; he looked out at the water of the little lake.

He kept thinking about Sinclair and the way his body had sounded hitting against the door and the wall; the way his legs had flopped out from under him. Billy hoped he hadn’t bruised him too bad. He thought about Sinclair’s eyes lookin’ like black coals in his head and wondered if that was fucking racist too. He thought about Sinclair saying _You sick freak_ and guessed that was about right. He thought about Steve saying _Yo_ _u fucking racist piece of shit_ and guessed that was about right. _You’re the one who’s scared of everything_ ; that was about right too.

Thinking about Lucas and Steve made him think about Max and that was the worst thing of all. God he felt like choking. He wasn’t crying into his cigarette; his eye was just watering from where Harrington had hit him.

There wasn’t a single doubt in Billy’s mind that Sinclair was going to run straight to Max and tell her everything that happened. That was okay; that was about what Billy expected; maybe that was what the kid should do. Really he was probably overjoyed to tell her all about what a piece of shit Billy was. She already knew most of it.

He felt so fucking guilty. He felt like he was breaking his own damn heart. He was really; it was totally fucked. He was pretty sure he’d just ruined everything beyond repair with Harrington and yet here he was in his car choking about stupid fucking Maxine, his little sister who wasn’t even his real sister.

He didn’t really care about her finding out about him and Harrington. Okay she was gonna kill him but that didn’t even matter. Maybe she wouldn’t care enough to kill him; she shouldn’t fucking care about him at all.

It was just that. It was just that she was going to be so fucking disappointed in him.

Christ he felt so fucking bad; he hadn’t thought he could have ever felt so fucking bad thinking about Maxine. She was gonna hear about what he’d said to Sinclair and she was gonna be so disappointed in him. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t meant it; he didn’t know if he’d meant it. If he’d said it he must have meant it and what did that mean about him.

Max was the only one who really knew him he guessed. Maybe Steve knew him a little but he was right that Billy never said shit to him. Max fucking knew all his shit and she knew he was gay and she’d said _Billy that’s okay_ and she knew he was a fucking racist too and she’d punched him before over it but this was new shit; she didn’t know this shit. This was so much worse and she was gonna fucking kill him.

She was gonna be so fucking disappointed in him. She was gonna be so disappointed; she was gonna be so mad at him. Christ he hated himself.

He sat in his car shaking like a little kid and smoking. Eventually he ran out of smokes and then he just sat there. It was past midnight and he didn’t have anywhere to go but home. He wiped his eyes and put the Camaro in gear. He counted his breaths the whole drive home.

All the streets were quiet and Dearborn was pitch-dark as he drove down it. There was just one light on in the living room when he parked in front of the house.

He sat there looking at it for a couple minutes and wondered if he was ready to fucking die. He’d rather have his old man beat him to death than have Max find out what a piece of shit he really was. He’d thought she already knew but he hadn’t even fucking known how bad he really was.

He got out of the car real slow and stood looking at the light on in the living room; with the way they’d arranged the couches a couple months ago you couldn’t really see in and see who was there anymore. Maybe he’d get lucky and it was just Susan up late doin’ her needlepoint. Maybe he’d get even fucking luckier and it’d be his old man waiting to kill him and he’d never have to deal with anything ever again.

Billy got up to where their gravel driveway met the porch and stood there with his hands in his pockets. Didn’t even feel like walking into a horror movie or anything this time – it felt so much worse. He climbed up their five porch steps and then the front door blew open with a loud _clack_ and Maxine came barreling out at him in two seconds; she must have been waiting for him.

“YOU _TOTAL ASSHOLE!_ ” she yelled and shoved him right off the porch; Billy stumbled down two steps and almost fell over.

Max stormed down after him and kept beatin’ on him. She beat him the rest of the way down right back into the yard. “OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHEBAG!”

Shit Maxine could punch hard; Billy kept his head down and didn’t even put his hands up. She slugged him four times in the shoulder and positively screamed, “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT YOU AND STEVE!”

Billy looked up and stared at her. “ _What?_ ”

“YOU THINK I’M A TOTAL STUPID DUMBASS, YOU STUPID _BUTTHOLE_ _!_ ” Max yelled her head off and punched him in the chest. Then: “OW!” she yelled and grabbed her hand. ”I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HOOKED UP WITH HIM AND DIDN’T TELL ME!”

Billy stared at her some more; he didn’t know what was going on. This was supposed to be where she killed him for saying what he’d said about Sinclair and goin’ after him. She didn’t have her priorities straight. “What – OW!” he screamed when she socked him in the neck. “What are – SHIT, MAN – what are you talkin’ about?”

“Oh, my god, DON’T YOU EVEN try to lie to me again!” Max yelled. Truly she sounded just like a goddamn mom; her womanly hysteria was off the charts and Billy didn’t even know what fuckin’ number it was to rate it. She was swinging her little fist around again. “I _KNOW_ YOU AND STEVE ARE HOOKING UP, LUCAS TOLD ME HE SAW YOU GUYS!”

Billy backed away from her and she went stumbling forward with a missed punch; he grabbed at her arm so’s she wouldn’t fall down. He didn’t understand anything. He managed, “What else did he tell you?”

“DON’T TOUCH ME, ASSFACE!” Max screamed at a level maybe twelve; her whole face was bright red and her frizzy hair was flying everywhere. “YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, I WAS GOING TO BUY YOUR STUPID METALLICA TICKETS THIS WEEKEND!”

Billy just stared at her; Max finally stopped slugging at him and stood there with her fists clenched and her chest heaving up and down. “WELL?” she yelled in his face. “ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?”

Billy stared. “What,” he said. “What he – what he – “ fuck he was a broken record too. “What else he tell you?”

“WHAT?” Maxine’s volume was broken at ten; she turned even redder and made a face. “I don’t know, I didn’t – STEVE HAD HIS HAND DOWN YOUR PANTS! OH MY GOD! YOU GROSS ASSHOLE!” She shoved him again.

Billy grabbed at her. “It wasn’t down my – oh my god, fucking stop hittin’ me!”

“NO, YOU’RE A PIECE OF _SHIT!_ ” Max hollered. “And you – and you didn’t need to SHOVE LUCAS around, you’re a total asshole!”

Billy stared at her and didn’t say anything. He was still holding her wrists.

Max wrenched away from him and scowled. “GET OFF OF ME!” It was pretty dark out but he could still see that her face was so red; she looked about ready to pop a blood vessel in a minute.

Billy licked his lips. “What else did he say to you?”

“What the hell are you _talking_ about?” Maxine looked like a true demon; her face was all scrunched up in fury. “OH MY GOD, don’t you DARE get mad at him, you morphodite! He ONLY TOLD ME because he was scared you’re going to totally kick his ass, HE’S NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE.”

He couldn’t talk; he just stared at her. He didn’t get it, couldn’t understand. Didn’t understand why Sinclair wouldn’t have told her what he’d said, what he’d called him. It didn’t make any sense.

He stared at her for so long that Max gave out an actual growl of rage and shoved him in the chest again. “OH MY GOD, are you going to freaking say anything, you _stupid jerk_ _?_ ”

“I,” Billy said. He felt totally blank. “I, I. Sorry.”

“OH, YOU’RE SORRY?” Max yelled her head off at him. “GREAT, YOU’RE SORRY, YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A TOTAL ASSHOLE!”

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Billy told her; he had no clue what he was even saying.

“How long have you guys been hooking up?” Max demanded. “I _know_ tonight wasn’t the first time! I’m a _total_ idiot, I can’t believe you – “

“A while,” Billy told her. “Look, I’m sorry, I’ll tell ya – can we just fuckin’ go inside or whatever?”

Max crossed her arms and glared at him; she was deciding whether or not to end him on the spot. Finally she scowled and dropped her arms. “I _guess,_ ” she said in a big snit. She turned and stalked away from him back up onto the porch. She stomped into the house and left the door wide open.

Billy stared after her for a couple seconds. His heart was thumping so hard it felt like he’d die. He still didn’t understand. Finally he jerked a little like he was being electrocuted and followed her into the house.

Max was sitting on the couch like a stone princess with her scowl on her face and her arms crossed; Billy looked at her for a couple seconds and then sat down beside her.

Max narrowed her eyes so fuckin’ much that Billy figured she couldn’t even see out of them. She glared at the TV for a couple seconds; it was off. Finally she said, “ _Well?_ ”

He licked his lips. “Well what?”

“OH. MY. GOD!” Max whipped around and started beating on him again.

“SHIT, MAN, FUCKING STOP!” Billy caught one of her arms and yanked it away from him. Max’s eyes flashed and then widened; for a second he thought he’d hurt her somehow and let go.

“Oh my god! What happened to your face!” she yelped.

Oh. Harrington’s handiwork. Billy touched his cheek. “Nothing, doesn’t matter.”

Max just stared back at him.”Okay … “ she said slowly; she knew she couldn’t get shit out of him if he didn’t want to tell her.

She did want some shit out of him though. She leaned forward right into his fucking face. “Billy, I am so serious, I will _murder you,_ ” she said real low through her teeth like a nightmare monster. “ _Why_ didn’t you tell me about you and _Steve._ ”

God she looked so scary; Billy leaned away from her. “I wanted to, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how.”

“OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR!” Max smacked him in the chest again. “YOU JUST DIDN’T WANT TO LOSE THE STUPID BET!” She smacked him again. “Wait – did you lose?”

Billy licked his lips. “I guess,” he managed.

“Okay, I don’t know what that _means_ , _when_ did you guys hook up?”

 _12:07AM on March 1 st_ was too fucking weird to tell her. He licked his lips again. “I dunno. Start of March I guess.”

Max just stared at him. She stared at him so long that he thought maybe she hadn’t heard him somehow. Then he noticed her eyes gettin’ bigger and bigger. She reached out real sudden and smacked him again. “OH MY GOD, YOU TOTAL ASSHOLE!”

“OW! STOP HITTIN’ ME!”

“SO I WON! SO I WON THE ORIGINAL BET AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME! OH MY GOD, THREE MONTHS? ARE YOU _FRICKIN’_ SERIOUS?”

“Max, shut the fuck up!” Billy begged her. He still didn’t know what was going on but she wasn’t exactly being quiet; his old man was gonna come out drunk and murder them both. “My dad hears you talking about this shit – “

“Oh my god, dummy, he’s not even here, he left for Cincinnati early,” Max told him; Billy stared.

“Oh.”

Max flopped back against the couch and stared at the blank TV again. “I can’t believe this, I can’t believe this,” she whispered to herself all dramatic. She whipped her head around and glared at him. “YOU ARE SUCH A JERK – “

“Fuckin’ stop, look, I wanted to tell you – “

“OH MY GOD, NO YOU DIDN’T!” She looked like she wanted to slug him again. “YOU’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE MONTHS, IT’S A BIG JOKE TO YOU! YOU GUYS PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY THAT I DIDN’T KNOW AND – oh my god.” Her eyes got huge again; they were about the size of jawbreakers. “Oh my god you’re Steve’s fake girlfriend,” she whispered.

Billy felt true real terror. “Look, that was just some shit he said, I didn’t – “

“OH MY GOD, YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT!” Max yelled at a level fuckin’ fourteen. “I _AM_ AN IDIOT! YOU KNOW LUCAS THOUGHT I HAD A CRUSH ON _STEVE?_ ”

“ _What?_ ”

“That’s why he’s been going around with Dustin trying to find out who Steve was dating! HE THOUGHT I LIKED HIM! HE WAS JEALOUS!” Billy didn’t even have anything to say. “He said he thought that, like, that maybe Steve was meeting her somewhere or something, he followed him back into the school! He said that he was so confused when he saw _you_ walk into the gym!”

“Oh, my fucking god,” Billy said. Jesus Christ he and Harrington had done it to themselves. Well of course they had.

“This would be _so_ hilarious if I didn’t want to _murder you,_ ” Max told him. She thought about it. “I _still_ might.”

“I’m sorry, okay, I wanted to tell you,” Billy said again. He didn’t understand it but he was so glad that she was just pissed off about Harrington and not about all the horrible shit with Sinclair. Maybe that’d still come later.

“That’s _bullshit,_ you didn’t want to tell me!”

Max didn’t even look mad anymore; she looked all weird and hurt and it made Billy feel about two inches tall. She said, “You know, I, I thought you guys were acting totally weird, but I – didn’t think you were actually _together_ or whatever! There was like a million times when I thought – wait, so you, were you with him all those nights you said you were working late?”

God he felt like a piece of shit and he felt so guilty. “Yeah, I was.”

Max didn’t say anything; she turned bright red again. “Oh my god, I feel so _stupid!_ I thought – I mean, I thought there was no way you guys were actually doing stuff, I thought you would have TOLD ME!”

“I’m sorry,” Billy said again. ”I wanted to tell ya.”

“No you didn’t! You were – you were making fun of me!” Her fuckin’ eyes welled up with tears and Billy wanted to kill himself. “You – I was trying to help you and you, you acted like it was a game! I acted like an IDIOT in front of all the guys! I MADE YOU BROWNIES, ASSHOLE!” she screamed in his face all upset.

“Oh my god, stop screaming at me,” Billy begged her; he was going to actually die if she started crying or something. “I’m fucking sorry, okay, I wanted – I didn’t – I’m not – I’m not good at this shit – “

“YEAH, WE’RE ALL AWARE OF THAT, BILLY!”

“Look, I ain’t even know what we were doin’ for like a month, I just fuckin’ kissed him one night – “

Max gasped out like she was watchin’ a soap opera. “Wait, _you_ kissed him? Okay, so you did it? WHERE did you kiss him?”

“On the mouth,” Billy told her; Max slugged his shoulder.

“I KNOW THAT, YOU IDIOT!” Billy almost laughed. “What, like _here,_ at the house?”

“In front of the fuckin’ comic book store.”

Max made a face. “ _Ew._ Really?”

“You remember I got in that fight with Tommy Hall before?”

“OHHH!” said Max. “Okay, so – oh, it was at night?”

“Yeah, he fought ‘em with me.”

“Oh, my god, Billy!” Her eyes turned into two huge hearts like in a fuckin’ cartoon. “That’s so romantic!”

Jesus God she was so embarrassing. “It was all right,” he muttered.

Max looked all overwhelmed and shit. “Okay, so you guys – oh my god, okay.” She gave him a big look. “I’m _still_ really mad at you – “

“Okay, okay, I know, I’m sorry, I ain’t know if you were gonna say shit – ”

“OH MY GOD, WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME? I’D NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU AND STEVE!” Max yelled her head off sayin’ shit.

“MAX! Where’s your fuckin’ mom at?”

“She did a double shift and took two sleeping pills an hour ago, don’t worry about her!” Max waved her hands. “Okay, tell me everything.”

“What you wanna fuckin’ know?”

Max glared at him and folded her hands primly in her lap. “Three months is a long time, I think you have a lot to tell me.”

“Okay, look – “

“I hope you guys are having safe sex, do you use condoms?” Max asked him all serious; Billy’s head almost exploded.

“OH MY GOD, why the fuck you gonna ask me – “

“BILLY, YOU CAN GET AIDS FROM A GIRL TOO, YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL, WE _JUST_ WATCHED THE BENEFIT CONCERT WITH GEORGE MICHAEL!” Max screamed her head off at him again.

Billy barely heard her; he was going deaf dumb and blind. “Oh my god, I ain’t talkin’ about this with you,” he said. “We don’t do that shit anyway.”

Max made a face. “ _Really_?” she asked incredulously. “So, what, just like mouth stuff?”

 _Just mouth stuff_ , Jesus fucking Christ. He guessed he couldn’t really even kill Sinclair after all this shit. “I’m, I’m, I’m not, I’m not telling you about that,” he stuttered like a freak.

“You’re such a prude,” Max told him and looked all pleased. “I would tell you if I did it!”

“Bet you fucking would, I don’t need to hear about that shit – “

“So what do you guys do, do you just KISS in the SCHOOL GYM all the time or what?” Max interrupted him.

“I dunno.” God he felt all uncomfortable in two seconds; he felt so dizzy from her beatin’ on him. He didn’t know what to tell her. “We go out sometimes.”

Max’s eyes got big. “What, like to gay clubs?”

“You’re such a bitch,” Billy told her; Max laughed like a little hellspawn. “I dunno, we just do normal stuff. Go out to eat. Uh, he took me to the drive-in.”

Max’s eyes bugged out. “He took you to the DRIVE-IN?” she repeated. “That’s really serious, Billy!” He almost laughed again.

“Uh, I dunno.”

“So am I like allowed to know about this? OKAY, I NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH HIM.”

“Yeah, no, I don’t. That’s not, uh, I don’t.“ He was starting to feel real bad again; it was almost like getting the shaky feeling. “I, I fucked it up with him, you can’t talk to him.”

Max stared at him and frowned. “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“I, yeah, we got in a fight or whatever.”

“So what? You guys always fight,” Max said dismissively. She frowned again. “Wait, oh – you mean because of Lucas?”

“I – “ Shit he really couldn’t tell her everything; he didn’t know what to say. “I guess.”

“Okay, well, that’s okay, he’s not going to say anything!”

“No, you don’t – you don’t get it.” He wasn’t going to tell her what he’d said if she didn’t know it; probably that made him even more of a horrible person. “I just – so he – yeah, I said, I said a lot of real bad shit to him, I think he, yeah, I think we’re done.”

Max frowned hugely; her little face got all scrunched up. “Okay, but people fight all the time, Billy!”

“Thanks, I know that.”

“It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about each other, just go and say sorry!”

“I don’t really think that’s gonna happen,” Billy told her. “I’m pretty sure I – “ fuck he couldn’t talk for a second; he counted his breath for a couple seconds. “Yeah, I said some – fucked up – I dunno why I said – and he got, yeah, he got really m – uh, mad, and, yeah, I think we’re done.” He touched his cheek.

Max stared at him. And stared at him and stared at him. “Wait,” she said slowly, “did _Steve_ hit you?”

“I deserved it.”

“Oh my god, I thought you got hit during your game or something!”

“It doesn’t matter, I deserved it.”

Max gave him a big look. “Billy! _No one_ deserves to get hit like that, no matter what you say!” she yapped like she hadn’t just clocked him about eighty times.

“Sound like the fuckin’ health teacher or something.”

“Oh, shut up!” Max made an awful face. “So what’d you say to him?”

“I dunno, just that – you know, like – “ He couldn’t talk again. Half of the fight had been about Sinclair; he couldn’t tell her about it all. He couldn’t fucking say it. The other half had just been him on his bullshit like usual. “Okay, so he, like, he wrote me this fuckin’ note ‘cause he wanted me to meet him – “

“Oh my god, shut up – “ Max’s eyes turned into cartoon hearts again; Billy ignored her.

“So we, yeah, and then like, I got too pissed off, I said he got us caught and shit – “

He told her some of the shit he’d said; god it was so awful sayin’ it again. That Harrington was stupid and that they wasn’t his family and they felt sorry for him and how much Billy didn’t care.

Shit.

Max laid her head against the back of the couch and groaned. “Oh my god, why’d you bring ME into it?” she moaned. “Why’d you say all that dumb stuff?!”

“I dunno,” Billy said. He didn’t know. “Wanted to make him feel bad.”

“Well, good job, numbnuts!” Max said. “You dope, I don’t feel sorry for _Steve_ , he’s _rich!_ I mean, I do feel sorry for him because he’s so _lame_ , everyone knows that already!”

“He is pretty lame,” Billy muttered.

“Shut up!” Max shoved him. “That’s your boyfriend!”

“He ain’t my fuckin’ boyfriend.”

“Oh, my god, you’re so – “ Max puffed her cheeks out all annoyed. “You’re _so_ stupid, so were you like staying over at his house and stuff? I mean, like – not just that time when you were sick or whatever.”

“I guess.”

“That means he’s your _boyfriend,_ dumbass,” she told him; Billy shrugged and Max rolled her eyes. “So what are you going to do?”

He shrugged again; he felt totally hollow. “What can I do.”

“Okay, stupid, you just go and say sorry – “

“No, you don’t understand, all right?” He hadn’t told her everything and she hadn’t been there anyway; she hadn’t seen how Harrington’d looked. “I totally screwed it up with him, I called him like a faggot and stuff.“

Max made a face; then she made another face. “I mean, it’s not exactly _not_ true – ”

“Man, he ain’t queer like me,” Billy said; Max rolled her eyes. “He’s not gonna wanna see me again.”

“Okay, so _make_ him see you, dummy! Don’t you care about him?”

Billy felt mad as shit. “ _I guess_ ,” he said resentfully.

“Okay, well, do you love him?”

Ew. What? “I dunno.”

“Yes you know, you idiot!” Max shoved him again. “Do you _love_ him?”

Billy thought about it; he didn’t want to but he thought about it. He guessed he already knew. He thought about Harrington takin’ care of him when he was sick and Harrington pickin’ him up from work and Harrington – Jesus Christ – Harrington looking for his mom’s fucking necklace in the snow way back in fucking November. When he’d gave him that stupid record and said _I thought maybe you’d want to hear it again_. He thought about Steve being a little dork in his stupid Christmas sweaters and the amazing glasses and how he always had some dumb shit to say on purpose so’s Billy would laugh at him; he didn’t know how he hadn’t realized before that Steve talked so much on purpose.

He thought about all the sexy shit that they’d do and how he felt like he’d die feeling okay as long as Steve was touching him or holding him. The amazing freckles and birthmarks and Steve’s big stupid adam’s apple and the way his big stupid nose would scrunch up when Billy’d make him laugh. He thought about Steve saying his dumb romantic shit like _You look like a painting_ and _You look like an angel_ and how it was so easy for him to just touch Billy. He thought about the regular shit like how Steve would lean against him when he was tired and how he’d muttered when he was sleeping _You’re my – my guy_ and how he’d bragged to his moms about all the cars Billy’d fixed up.

He thought about the other shit like how Harrington was the biggest whiner and complained about fucking everything; he thought about how Steve told him he was an annoying moody baby and how he’d said before _You always fuckin’ bother me_ and then how he hadn’t wanted Billy to go home. He thought about Steve chewing on his stupid nails all the time and fuckin’ with his hair for eight minutes before they went somewhere and how he’d never seen a guy so insecure before. He thought about how Steve could get annoyed by the creepy kids in two seconds and how he thought he was stupid and how he hadn’t wanted to tell Billy he hadn’t gotten into any colleges so he’d just been an asshole for a whole week. He wasn’t really perfect but he was so perfect; Billy wanted him so bad.

He said, really mad, “ _I guess._ ”

“OH, MY GOD, OKAY!” Max said all excited; she waved her hands around like a little dork. “Okay, so you just – need to tell him that! Steve knows you, he’ll forgive you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Billy said; Max started glaring at him. “What, you want me to go now?”

Max made a face. “No, I don’t know! Maybe? I mean, it’s two am, he has work in the morning!”

“Didn’t really bother him too much before.”

“Oh, my god, ew, whatever,” Max said; Billy almost laughed again. “I think you need to do a big apology, you should think of what you want to say.” She made another little face. “Um, and maybe ice your face first, it looks really bad.”

God she was too sweet. “Yeah, thanks,” Billy said.

Max bugged him a while longer for more details about their stupid dates and then finally Billy was allowed to go to bed. His heart was still racing and his head was spinning; his face hurt and he didn’t know how to feel. Max had almost made him feel kind of okay and he knew he didn’t deserve to feel okay.

He’d barely gotten changed when he turned around and almost fell over; Max was standing in his doorway holdin’ her pillow. “No, no, you can’t fuckin’ sleep in here,” he told her.

Max made a huge gremlin face at him. “Yes I can, we still have more stuff to talk about, WE ONLY GOT HALFWAY THROUGH APRIL,” she said. Jesus Christ.

“Look, my dad don’t like you being in here.”

“That’s weird, I don’t see him,” Max said; Christ she sounded like Harrington.

“I’m serious, man,” Billy told her. Another horrible thing he had to say. “He already thinks I’m doin’ shit to you.”

Max looked like she’d just ate dogshit. “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS?” she yelled.

“Dude, shut up!” Billy begged her.

Max ignored him; she tossed her pillow down and went to his closet all serious to get his extra blanket. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, when’d he say that?”

“Couple weeks ago.”

Max wrapped his mom’s quilt around her like a cape; somehow Billy managed not to scream his head off at her. “Is that why you were being so mean to me?” she asked.

“I wasn’t – “

“Billy, that’s so stupid, YOU’RE GAY!” she reminded him. “And you’re, like, totally gross, I’d kill you in two seconds.”

“Yeah, thanks.” She probably could. “Look,” he told her. “I want you to – I only got like two weeks til we get the place, I want you to stay away from my old man.”

She made a huge face. “Uh, no problem there.”

“Max. I mean it.” He didn’t know how to tell her how serious he was.

“Fine, I know!” Max flopped down on the floor. “Turn the light off, please.”

Billy stared at her. He turned the light off; he made sure to step on her hand as he climbed over her to get to his bed. “OW, ASSHOLE!” Max said. “So, okay, back in April,” she said. She paused. “WAIT, DID YOU GUYS HOOK UP IN HERE WHEN ME AND BEV GOT ALL THAT WEED?”

Billy started laughing.

“OH MY GOD, YOU ASSHOLE!” Max said.

 

Just because Max was okay with him and all it didn’t mean shit was fixed; Billy felt anxious as fuck goin’ to school the next day. It wouldn’t take too much for Sinclair to ruin his fucking life.

He felt like a live fuse about to go off off in all his classes; the day passed like normal though and Billy didn’t know what to think. Henderson sat by him in study hall like he usually did and he didn’t scream or ask Billy why he was a huge asshole or a faggot; Billy guessed he hadn’t talked to Sinclair or Harrington yet.

There was a big crash from beside him and Angela Davis was sittin’ down beside them; she’d thrown her books down on the table in a big heap. “Billy, OH MY GOD, I can’t believe the crap I’m hearing from Brian Price.”

Billy didn’t know who that was. He stared at her. “What you talkin’ about?”

Angela stared back at him. “O’Hearn is giving us a pop quiz today, did you do the reading?”

Jesus fucking Christ. Billy leaned back in his chair in relief. “Yeah I did it.”

“Oh. Well … “ Angela made a real nicey nice face at him; Billy eyed her in a cautious way. “Did you take any notes?”

“Yeah, you want ‘em?”

“You’re really becoming a model student, Steve would be so proud of you,” Henderson yapped from the other side of him; Billy turned and slugged him in the back.

“Go away.”

He meant to go after work and talk to Harrington but ended up bein’ too chickenshit to do it. As it was they were so swamped at the shop that he didn’t end up gettin’ out til past ten anyway; it wasn’t that late but it was late enough so’s that he could tell himself he probably shouldn’t show up at Steve’s house when he was clearly so pissed off at him. He was such a coward.

He didn’t know what to say to make it better anyway. He didn’t really know what to say at all. Maybe it was better this way anyhow; Harrington could get over him in another week or so and then he could find some girl he liked more and he could be normal and not have to hid shit or sneak around trying to meet her.

Fucking shit but it was so awful thinkin’ about Steve with some girl or something. He kept feeling bad and then getting pissed off and then that’d lead to him just feeling bad again. He knew he’d said some shit; he’d said the worst shit but Harrington had said some shit to him too. Okay he’d called Billy a racist piece of shit and that was all right; that was probably true. That made him feel like total crap but it was probably true and that was his own fault.

He thought about how Steve’d said that he was scared of everything and that he just bullshitted with him all the time; that wasn’t true. He thought about the way Steve’d looked when he’d said _YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING THAT’S REAL_ or when he’d said that Billy had never even said he’d like him; then again he’d also said that Billy wanted him so like usual Steve made no fucking sense.

Stupid annoying prick. He thought about how Steve’d said that Billy just liked his stupid dogs and his fancy house and his stupid TV or whatever; that wasn’t true either. Okay well he did like the dogs of course but none of that other shit mattered, not really. He didn’t care that Steve had a bunch of fancy shit that he didn’t have; he’d want Harrington even if he had nothing. Steve couldn’t really think that.

Or maybe he could. Billy didn’t know. He knew he wasn’t exactly the nicest person or the easiest person to get along with; he didn’t know how to be that way. He always thought all this needy crazy bitch shit in his head and he guessed he’d thought maybe Harrington knew it all; they were basically always together so he had to know. But a lot of the time he didn’t know what the fuck Steve thought either so probably it wasn’t fair to think like that. Stupid Henderson always told him to use his fuckin’ words; Billy thought he’d been doin’ okay with that but he guessed he had to get better.

Wednesday was more of the same shit: Billy was waitin’ to get beat up in the hallways but again nothing happened. It was too crazy. He saw Sinclair for a split second goin’ into the AV room with Wills before study hall; Will waved at him and Sinclair sent a scathing look his way Billy was the scum of the earth and stomped off into the classroom.

They had a pep rally right after school that day. It was gettin’ to be almost June and Hawkins did that bullshit Spirit Week shit at the start and end of every school year.

Maxine ambushed him at his locker; she wanted to go to the rally and she said there was gonna be snacks so Billy was forced to go into the gym and suffer. He really didn’t want to be in the gym again; he hadn’t even gone to practice yesterday.

Will found them on the bleachers and then the rest of the Creepy Kid Club drifted over. Will sat on one side of him and Henderson was on the other with his girl; Maxine and Wheeler plopped down in front of them. Max kept leanin’ back on his knees.

Jesus God he was surrounded by loser freshmen; he guessed it didn’t even fuckin’ matter if everyone in school found out he was a huge queer. Okay it still mattered.

Maxine looked annoyed and prissy like she usually did; she was whipping her head around lookin’ all over at the gym. “Where’s Lucas at?” she yapped.

Wheeler made a face like a candle melting. “He went home already, he said this stuff is stupid.”

Max rolled her head back and gave Billy a big ol’ look that said it was all his fault that Sinclair had no school spirit. Billy ignored her.

It was too hot in the gym; Wheeler Jr was sweating like a stuck pig and wiping his brow. “This is so retarded,” he said. The school band was butchering an extended version of ‘Hail to the Chief’ like it was Independence Day or some shit. “How long are they going to play this? I want to go to El’s house before Hopper comes home.”

“She okay?” Billy asked him; he didn’t know if anything else had happened past Saturday night when he’d seen all the brats.

Wheeler didn’t even make a shitface at him. “I dunno,” he said all glum.

“Hey, so when can we see her, is she allowed out?” Max asked him like Elijane was a dog or something. “Billy and I have actual presents for her, like real birthday presents!”

“I don’t _know,_ ” snapped Wheeler again. “She’s – being totally weird – she doesn’t want to see anyone.”

“ _Anyone_ , or just you?” Max asked sweetly; Wheeler scowled.

Billy turned to Henderson. “You seen Harrington around?” he asked him.

Henderson had a new baseball cap on and he was eating a huge gross hot dog from the lunch cart. With the spring heat his curly hair was even bigger than usual; Billy wasn’t quite sure how the hat was stayin’ on his head. “Steve? He’s not home,” he said around the gross hot dog.

“Where’s he at?”

Henderson looked kinda disappointed. “He didn’t call you?” he asked.

“Why would he call me.”

“Okay, well, _I_ CALLED HIM YESTERDAY,” Dustin informed him “He went with his mom to his aunt’s house or something, I guess he called out of work and everything.”

That was pretty weird; Billy didn’t know what to say. He remembered a long time ago Steve’d told him that his aunt had been sick before. ”Something happen to his mom?”

“No, I don’t think so, he probably would have said.” Dustin took another huge bite of his hot dog. “I thought maybe he’d call you, he seemed really upset about something.”

“He _probably_ ran out of his nine-dollar hairspray,” Wheeler Jr said like a shitbag; Maxine laughed real loud and then covered her mouth with her hand like a guilty puppy.

“SHUT UP, MIKE!” Henderson said; in two seconds he got all worked up over Harrington.

He was a way better friend than Billy was. Even if they’d been hooking up or whatever Steve was still his friend; it was like Billy’d been forgetting that. Maybe that was the most important thing that he’d been forgetting.

He pushed those thoughts out of his head. “Okay, when’s he comin’ back?”

“God, you sound like Nancy,” Wheeler informed him; that was so great. Billy glared down at him. Wheeler gave him a weird look and turned back to the band goin’ on with their awful songs.

Henderson was eating the gross hot dog again. “I think he’s staying there all week, he said he might be back on Friday. I asked him if he wanted to go to the diner then, he said probably not, so.” He made a face which looked great around the hot dog. Some mustard dripped down onto his shirt.

“You’re a fuckin’ slob, man,” Billy told him; Henderson made an even bigger face.

Maxine was leaning back on his knees again. “I wonder if Steve’s fighting with his girlfriend,” she said real sweet; Billy kicked her.

Henderson looked depressed. “I told him he has to stop being so needy with her, he’s going to get dumped again! Also, you guys aren’t supposed to know about it, so DON’T SAY ANYTHING to him!”

Maxine got a big gremlin face on; Billy kicked her again before she could start up with her shit. Once the stupid pep rally had ended she looked happy as they got into his car. “So I’m thinking that Steve ran away to his aunt’s house because of you, that’s probably a good thing,” she told him.

Billy didn’t really see how him running Harrington the fuck out of town could possibly be a good thing. He pulled a smoke out of his pack and glared at Max until she rolled her eyes and slung her seatbelt across her shoulder. “How you figure?”

“Okay, well, he’s obviously upset!” Max told him. “That’s, like, that means he cares a lot, right? If he didn’t care, he’d be like, whatever, he’d be at the movies with Dustin or something.”

“I dunno,” Billy said. He felt really horrible thinking about Steve feelin’ so bad that he needed to be around a bunch of old ladies. Then again it wasn’t like Billy and Max had any kinda normal family; maybe it was good that he was around them or whatever.

With Harrington out of town Billy had fuck all to do anyway; he laid around on the couch after work with Max feelin’ bad, then when Susan got home he got up and got ready to go out. Angela Davis was havin’ her big party and she’d reminded him about it in study hall.

Billy went to the party and got loaded, then the next day he went to another party he’d found out about and got loaded again. Even while he was gettin’ loaded he thought about Harrington and what he was gonna say to him. He thought about Sinclair too and what he was gonna say to him; he knew he was gonna have to bite the bullet and fucking apologize. He wasn’t sure which was going to be harder.

By Friday Maxine was about sick of him and his bullshit. She glared at him as he drove them down Main Street after school; they both had work.

“Are you going to another stupid party?” she asked him. “What are you going to do about Steve, did you forget about him already?”

“No I didn’t forget him.”

“He’s gonna hear about you going out all the time and feel even worse.”

Billy hadn’t really thought of that. “He ain’t even here, what’m I supposed to do? Drive all over the fuckin’ state looking for him?”

“Uh, you could act like you care a little!”

“I do care,” Billy told her. “He ain’t even here,” he said again.

Max looked like a sulky bitch. “Well, what about Lucas, are you ever going to make up with him? I NEED YOU to talk to him if I want to see him, I’ve been stuck at home all week!”

“You don’t need me to hang around with – “

“Yes, I do, MOM WILL KNOW!” she went off on him. “I can’t do anything until you guys like each other again!”

Truth be told he didn’t think that he and Sinclair had ever really liked each other; that was Billy’s fault. He didn’t say that to her though. “Yeah, I’ll talk to him later.”

“Okay, WHEN? You have to do it soon, BEV’S HAVING A PARTY NEXT WEEK and I need him to go with me!”

Everyone was havin’ a fucking party. ”Okay, okay. I’ll go tomorrow, all right?”

Max looked skeptical. “Really? What are you gonna say to him?”

Billy guessed he had a lot of shit to say to him. Max yapped on before he could answer her, “Don’t THREATEN HIM again!”

“Oh my god, I’m not!” Once again he thought she didn’t know the half of it. “Don’t worry bout what I’m gonna say to him.”

He didn’t go to another party; he picked Max up after her work and she dragged him to two thrift stores to look at furniture. There was a red leather couch she really liked at one place; Billy told her there was no way in hell that was going in his apartment. “I ain’t Freddie Mercury.”

“Yeah, you wish,” Max said like a shitheel. She made him put money down on a glass coffee table. “Joyce said she can give you her old bed it you want, it’s a full-size! Oh, and she can get you a TV if you can get someone to pick it up from Eastgate, she has a lifetime discount to RadioShack because of Bob.” Billy didn’t know who that was.

Max dragged him around the store until he thought he’d die; he sat on the red leather couch and pretended to be dead while she looked at a bunch of trinkets. “I think you should get a houseplant, like a ficus, it’s low-maintenance,” she said; she was holding two huge bookends shaped like Indiana for some reason. She looked up and made a face at him pretending to be dead. “OH, MY GOD, Billy! You’re like the worst person to shop with! It’s not even clothes!”

She made him pay for the bookends; he didn’t even have enough books for that kinda shit. “It’s an accent piece! Okay, let’s go visit Will at the Hawk,” she said running his life like usual.

“Whatever.”

Byers was happy to see them and they went and saw _Beverly Hills Cop II_ once his shift ended. It was pretty funny; it wasn’t as good as _Chopping Mall_ but really Billy figured nothing would ever be as good as _Chopping Mall_.

“ _Chopping Mall_ changed me as a person,” Will said; Max rolled her eyes while Billy laughed.

Even as he was laughing with Max and Will he felt kind of distracted, like he wasn’t really present. He kept thinking about Harrington and Sinclair in the back of his mind; he had been all week. It never went away. It was like a papercut in the corner of his brain, this little sharp thing. It definitely hurt like one. He dropped Max off at the diner and went home to think his thoughts; he had a lot of them.

 

Saturday was the day of reckoning and Max got him up at ten and kicked his ass until he got dressed. They ate breakfast together and then she kicked his ass some more until he said he was going out.

“What are you going to say to him?” Max asked; Billy had no clue which him she was even talkin’ about.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m JUST trying to help you!” she yapped. “Okay, make good eye contact! You have to let him know that you’re really sorry!”

“Why the fuck am I gonna look in your boyfriend’s eyes – “

Max rolled her eyes. “I mean Steve, you douchebag!”

“Oh.”

“Do you think you’ll come home later or are you gonna spend the night with him?” Maxine asked; Billy felt the real true terror that she was gonna give him another sex talk.

“I dunno.” Really he was pretty sure that Harrington wasn’t even gonna talk to him.

“Okay, well … I have to work, but I – “

“Take ya in early,” Billy said; anything to kill some time.

Max gave him a look that said she knew exactly what he was doing. “Okay.” They went out to his car. “Are you going to go to Lucas’s first?”

“Yeah.” He had to; he knew that. Maybe Harrington was really done with him but he needed to make things right with the kid. Then Sinclair could be done with him too if he wanted.

He dropped Max off at the general store; Joyce Byers was out front smoking and she waved at him as he pulled up. Billy waved back and then started the slow drive off to Sinclair’s.

He’d really only been to Lucas’s twice before; once way back when he’d been lookin’ for Max and the other time a couple months ago when he’d dropped the kids off after the shit with his old man. It was a real nice house; really it was even nicer than the Wheelers’. He felt awkward as fuck standing on the fancy porch and knocking.

Mrs. Sinclair came to the door; it took her a couple minutes to answer it. She opened the door and just stood there looking at him. “Can I help you?” she asked like she was in a TV commercial.

Billy didn’t really know if he should turn the charm on or not. “Hey, ah, I go to school with Lucas, I don’t know if you remember me – “

“I know who you are,” she said flatly; Billy wondered what all she knew. Then she said, “You’re Max Mayfield’s brother.”

“Yeah,” Billy said awkwardly. “I was wonderin’ if S – if Lucas was around, I just wanted to talk to him for a minute.”

Mrs. Sinclair just looked at him; she had her hand on the door. Finally she said, “Hold on, let me get him.”

“Okay, I – “ She closed the door in his face. “All right,” he said to the door like an asshole.

He ran his tongue over his teeth and went and leaned against the porch railing; he counted to ten a couple times in his head. Even though he was here already he really didn’t want to do this. He knew that he was a piece of shit but he didn’t like owning up to what a piece of shit he was.

The minutes ticked by; Billy looked up at the grey sky and at the fancy potted plants around the door. After about a million years the front door swung open and then Sinclair was staring at him. His face screwed up in two seconds and it looked like he was gonna march right back inside. “Oh, my god, what do _you_ want?”

Billy was still leaning against the leaned; he stood up a little straighter. “Hey, lemme talk to you.”

Sinclair just glared at him from the doorway. “Why? You know you can’t actually kill me, my parents are right inside and my dad has a shotgun – “

“Oh, my god, I ain’t gonna fucking kill you, let me talk to you for two minutes.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to fucking talk to you,” Billy told him patiently. “Look, can I come inside or what?”

Sinclair made a huge shitface. “Uh, no, you’re not allowed in my house.”

“Okay. We can do it out here.”

Lucas just looked at him, then he threw his hands up like a dramatic bitch. “Oh my G – okay, whatever, you have FIVE minutes, you troll.” He stepped forward and closed the door behind himself. “WHAT do you want?”

Billy just stood there looking at him too. “How’s your head, man?”

Sinclair made another great face. “Oh, it’s wonderful, thanks SO much.”

“Hit that wall pretty hard.”

“Oh my GOD, what do you WANT?”

Jesus God. “Wanted to say sorry to you,” Billy forced himself to say; Sinclair just looked at him some more. “Uh, for throwing you around and all. For callin’ you what I called you.”

Sinclair looked really disinterested in him, he leaned against his front door and crossed his arms. He wasn’t looking at Billy. “Whatever, I _really_ don’t care,” he said. “Like, I really don’t care about _anything_ you have to say.”

“Okay,” Billy said; already it was going about as well as he’d figured it would. He ran his hand through the back of his hair. “Look, just lemme fuckin’ apologize to you, okay?”

Sinclair’s lip curled and he rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said again. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“Uh,” Billy said. “Look, I’m really sorry, man. I didn’t mean to say that shit to you. I didn’t mean it.”

Lucas just stared at him; he still had his arms crossed. “Great, thanks,” he said with minimal sarcasm; really he sounded bored as fuck with Billy. “Do you feel _better_ now?”

Billy put his hands in his jeans pockets. “Not really.”

Sinclair snorted. He rolled his eyes to the side and looked out at the lawn past Billy. “Okay, are we done?”

“Uh, no,” Billy said; Lucas sighed like a dramatic bitch.

“Oh, my god, _what?_ I told Max I’m not going to – ”

“Yeah, I, I wanna talk about Max,” Billy said. Lucas sighed again but Billy ignored him. “Why – “ he had to stop for a sec. “How come, how come didn’t you tell her ‘bout what I called you?”

Sinclair shrugged all moody. He’d never look at Billy.

“Coulda made her hate me in two seconds,” Billy told him. “Never fuckin’ talk to me again. You wouldn’t have to see me no more.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Lucas said flatly.

“Okay. So?”

“Oh, my god, you’re _so_ annoying.” Lucas rolled his eyes. “Look, I care about Max, okay? And she has – look, I know you hate me, but you _did_ save my ass before. With your dad,” he supplied like Billy was dumb. “I know that was for her, so whatever.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yes you do.” He said it like it was a fact he’d learned in class; he didn’t care about it.

“No I don’t,” Billy said. “I didn’t just do it for Max.” He didn’t know. He hadn’t just done it for Max; he wasn’t sure if he’d done it for Sinclair. Maybe he’d done it for himself too. That didn’t really matter now.

“Whatever, yes you did,” said Lucas. “Look, I – I care about Max, all right?” he said again. “And she, she like – I _don’t know_ why – she frickin’ _loves_ your dumb racist ass, okay?”

Billy stared at him.

“What?” Lucas snapped. He was making a face like he smelled something rotten. “I _still_ don’t know what the hell happened with you guys last year, but she just thinks you’re _so cool_ again, she won’t shut up about you for two minutes. She keeps talking about some, some stupid apartment you’re gonna get and, like, I don’t know – laundry in the basement, she’s all excited about a stupid _dishwasher?_ She thinks she’s gonna stay with you every weekend or whatever.”

Billy didn’t really know what to say; he just kept standin’ there and looking at the kid.

“Well?” Lucas said all mad. “Are you going to let her stay with you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Billy said; Lucas made another face. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“Okay, well.” Sinclair looked uncomfortable; he put his hands in his pockets too. “Look, you guys have a really fucked up family. Your dad is a _total_ asshole – “

“Yeah, I know that – “

“And I think _you’re_ a total asshole too!” Sinclair told him. “But – whatever, I don’t care about you. If Max thinks you’re cool, I’m not gonna – I’m not going to _ruin_ it for her, okay? I’d rather – look, I’d rather have her be around _you_ than your stupid creepy dad.”

Billy licked his lips; he was lookin’ down at the porch and at his combat boots. Even now, even after all of this, even though it was so crazy, he still didn’t like to hear people say shit about his old man. Even after all he’d done to Billy, all he’d done to Sinclair. He figured if there was one person who could say shit about his old man it would be Sinclair though.

“Okay,” he said.

Lucas stared at him. “Max is, like, the coolest girl I’ve ever met,” he said. “I really care about her, that’s the _only_ reason I didn’t tell her. She’d be – so upset – “

“Yeah, I know – “

“And then she wouldn’t – have anywhere to go! You _better_ not screw it up with her.”

“I’m not gonna screw it up, she’s my sister,” Billy told him.

“If you ever _hurt her_ or anything – “

“Never fuckin’ hurt her,” Billy said. “That’s my girl.” He guessed she was. His really, really annoying girl.

“Yeah, mine too,” said Lucas. He looked massively uncomfortable, about as uncomfortable as Billy felt. “Um, yeah, if you could _never_ tell her I said that – ”

“Yeah, me too,” Billy said right away; Lucas made a face like he was about to laugh for a second.

“Okay, so … “ he made another face. “Look, are we done?”

“I guess so.” Billy hunched his shoulders; he guessed he wasn’t done. “No, we ain’t done.”

Lucas sighed like a dramatic bitch once more; Billy ignored him. He asked, “How come you ain’t tell nobody about me and Harrington?”

“Why, so Max could _kill_ me?”

“She don’t need to know you’re the one who said it.”

Sinclair rolled his eyes. “She’d know,” he said.

“Yeah, well.” Billy didn’t really know what to say; he didn’t know what he wanted to say. “Look, all you gotta do is tell one person at school, it’d make things real bad for me. I was waitin’ all week. Why didn’t you tell nobody?”

Lucas just stared at him again. He stared at Billy and folded his arms up again. He stared at him and narrowed his eyes. He stared at him for so long that Billy was kinda wondering if he’d gone crazy or if Lucas hadn’t heard him or something. Then he said in this really disgusted voice, “God, you are _so_ dense.”

Billy rolled his eyes and bit down on a scowl. “Yeah, thanks, I – “

“You think I’m, like, a total _asshole_ like you are?”

“All right, I’m not just gonna – “

“I _really_ don’t like you,” Lucas interrupted him; Billy rolled his eyes again.

“I know you don’t like me.”

Lucas scoffed loudly and kept on talking; he still had his arms folded and he was kind of hunched in on himself. “I _don’t_ like you, I have _never_ liked you. I don’t – I don’t think you’re _cool_ like Dustin and Will, I don’t even think you’re funny like Mike does! I think you’re a total _asshole_ , all right?”

Billy stared at him blankly; he felt like saying _Wheeler thinks I’m funny?_ He managed not to, though.

Lucas kept on talking. “I don’t care about you, like at _all_. I know how people like you are. I know all about – about people like _you_. And you – you come over here all, like, like, like – “ he made a face – “you want to say _sorry_ to me, do you actually feel _guilty?_ ”

“I – “

“You are seriously, like, NOTHING to me,” Lucas told him. “I don’t CARE about you! You think, like – you think, you think you’re the first person who ever called me a nigger?” He said it like he didn’t care but his eyes looked bright; his voice got louder. Billy knew he cared. “Man, someone called me a nigger LAST WEEK at the mall! All the guys heard it!”

Billy stared at him. Lucas said, “People – people threw paint at my dad’s car when we moved here, my parents, they act like I don’t remember! Every Mischief Night, my house is the _only_ house on this block that gets egged. You think I care about what YOU call me? You think I haven’t heard that shit a MILLION times before?”

Billy just stared at him. The way his voice sounded.

He couldn’t really talk for a second. He kinda felt like he was cut in half or something; it really hurt even though he wasn’t the one who’d got hurt. He just stood there looking at Sinclair – Lucas. Lucas had his arms wrapped around himself and he was scowling and he wasn’t looking at Billy. Billy said, kind of quiet even though he didn’t mean to be, “I am – _really sorry_ , man. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t mean to be like that.”

“Whatever,” Lucas said thickly. He rubbed at his face with both hands.

“I mean it. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to think like that. I don’t wanna be like that.”

“Whatever, shut up!” Lucas said. ”I don’t c – I’m only telling you this because I, I – “ his voice broke. “Look, you really think that I, I, I don’t know what it’s like to have people _hate you_ for no freaking reason?” He stared at him. “Because you’re _different?_ ”

Billy just stood there for a few seconds; he couldn’t speak. Lucas said, “Like the way you hate _me?_ ”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious. I didn’t mean to – “

“Whatever, shut up!” Lucas snapped. “I don’t care, okay?” He wiped his face again.

“Okay,” Billy said.

“I’m not going to say anything about you and Steve,” Lucas told him. “I’m not a _jerk_ like you are! I’m not going to out you guys, I’d never tell anybody that shit.”

Sinclair was way better than him. Billy hadn’t really thought he was much at all but he was way better than him. He said, “Okay,” again.

“Okay,” Lucas said too. They just stood staring at each other. Then he made a face and said, “But seriously, I _never_ need to see that shit again – “

“What, too hot for ya?“

“Oh, my god, shut _up!_ “ Lucas made another face. He looked kind of weirded out; he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his preppy jacket. “So... are you – are you _gay_ or whatever?”

Shit it was time for Billy’s favorite thing to talk about. ”Max ain’t tell you?”

“Um, yeah, she mostly just screamed a lot,” Lucas said. “And – like – something about George Michael? Which I don’t really get, is that like supposed to be – “

“All right, okay,” Billy interrupted him. Shit he’d really say anything if it meant he wouldn’t have to fuckin’ talk about George Michael or that stupid concert. He chewed on his lip; he counted to ten. Lucas was starting to look impatient so Billy said shortly, “Yeah I’m gay.”

Lucas just stared at him with one of his inscrutable black expressions. Holy fucking shit Billy was _still_ doing it. Lucas stared at him with one of his inscrutable expressions. “… Okay,” he said finally.

“Okay, so?” Billy said. He almost couldn’t believe he’d said it to him. He didn’t think he’d ever really said it to anyone who wasn’t Max; honestly he wondered if he’d ever actually said it to her. He didn’t think he ever had. Hadn’t said it to Harrington. He couldn’t believe it had been Lucas he’d told.

Still Sinclair just looked at him. “So – what, are you and Steve, like, _dating_ or something?”

“I dunno,” Billy said. “He ain’t queer.”

“Yeah, but you guys are like – together?”

“I guess.”

“Dude, I _seriously_ thought that Max had a thing for him, I had no clue it was _you,_ ” Lucas told him all wide-eyed. “I _never_ would have freaking followed him if I thought it was _you_ he was sucking face with – “

“Yeah, you don’t gotta worry about that anymore, we ain’t sucking face no more,” Billy said.

“Right, Max said you guys had a fight,” Lucas said like it had been nothing.

Billy snorted; Maxine’d been yappin’ her damn head off all week about how she couldn’t even see Lucas and yet she still managed to tell him all Billy’s business just like usual.

Lucas lowered his head a little and gazed up at him. ”Was it because of me or whatever?”

“I guess.” He didn’t want to talk about this.

“Okay, well – I’m not going to say _sorry_ or anything – “

“Yeah, I don’t want you to,” Billy told him. “I was just an asshole to him.”

“Big surprise, you always are,” Sinclair said like a shitheel; really Billy’d be getting a big kick out of him if he wasn’t still so uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I know that.”

“Okay, so … “ Sinclair shrugged a little bit; he had his hands in his pockets again. “Are you gonna make up with him or whatever?”

“I dunno.”

Lucas looked at him. “Max said that … you guys have been together for a while.”

“I guess.” Billy had no clue why Sinclair wanted to talk about boys with him.

“Like, since your birthday or whatever.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment; it hadn’t really been since his birthday, it’d been after that.

Then he thought about his birthday and the stupid record player Harrington’d gotten him. How he’d stayed with Harrington all weekend two days later and slept in his room and how Steve’d stared at him and said _I never really met anybody like you before._ How he’d looked in the pool before the stupid dogs had cockblocked them. How Steve’d been in a big hysterical sulk over him after his dad had beat the shit out of him and how he’d stayed on the phone with Billy all night. He guessed they might as well have been together since his birthday.

He said again, “I guess.”

“Well, so … “ Sinclair still looked uncomfortable and annoyed. “Look, it’s weird, but you actually haven’t been _that much_ of an asshole since your birthday. I mean, aside from Monday.”

Truly Billy felt touched; like usual Sinclair was bringing out the real emotions in him. “Thanks so much.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “So I guess being with Steve makes you like twenty percent less of an asshole or something – ”

“Yeah, big percent.”

“For _you_ , it is,” Lucas said with dead seriousness; Billy laughed and the kid looked surprised and then almost pleased with himself. It jolted something in Billy – it’d been so long ago but he remembered back in August or September the first time Steve and the creepy kids had been at his car back when school’d started. Sinclair had been the one to ask Billy to hang out with them, not Henderson or Harrington. Billy’d been a prick to him for so long. Sinclair said, “So I’m just saying, I guess it’s like cool or whatever if you guys are, like, a thing. And I wouldn’t tell anybody.”

Billy didn’t know what to say again. He thought again that Lucas was better than him; he had no clue who the kid was. That was Billy’s own fault. “Thanks,” he said.

“Are you gonna, like, apologize to him or what?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Billy said. “Was gonna go talk to him after this, I wanted to come say – sorry to you first.”

“Oh, my god, that is so noble,” Lucas said sarcastically and clutched his chest; Billy smiled at him for a second.

“Really am sorry, man.”

Lucas eyed him in a weird way for a few long seconds. He folded his arms up again. “How sorry?” he said finally.

“Uh.” Billy didn’t know what he was getting at. “I dunno. Real sorry?”

“Okay.” Lucas gave him a conniving look. “Okay, if you’re really sorry, you – want to make it up to me?”

Billy felt the real true terror. “Yeah, I do. I guess – whaddya what?”

“Okay, well. Let me think.” Lucas rubbed his chin all dramatic like a cartoon villain. Billy sighed and leaned against the wooden porch railing while the kid thought up his poison. “Okay!” Lucas said again. “So … you know how Dustin said the other day if you lost to him at poker you’d have to drive him to school for a week?”

“… Yeah?” He’d only agreed to it because he’d knew the kid would never beat him; Dustin owed him two Milky Ways and a Mark McGwire rookie card. “So what?”

“Okay, well ... if you’re _really_ sorry and you _really_ want to make it up to me … “ Lucas paused a little, for dramatic effect Billy guessed. “I guess you can … drive me to school for the next month of classes.”

Billy stared at him. “Man, are you serious?”

“What!”

“A fuckin’ _month?_ ”

“Yeah, til summer’s here! It’s like three weeks!”

Billy folded his arms up too. “Why you want a ride with me, thought you didn’t like me.”

“I _don’t_ like you,” Lucas told him like he was stupid. “I like your _car._ ”

Jesus God. “Are you serious?” Billy asked him. “That what you really want?”

“Uh, yeah, you have the coolest car in school.” Lucas made a face like he was dumb.

“I don’t – “ Well shit. He’d already said he wanted to make it up to the kid. “Okay, whatever.” Billy shrugged. “What about, ah, what about Max, thought your parents ain’t supposed to see you with her.”

“Who cares about Max? She can take her stupid board, you guys live ten minutes away!” Sinclair said like a dramatic bitch; Billy almost laughed. “Well?”

Christ. Billy rubbed his face. “All, right, whatever,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

“Okay, cool! And – and you can’t say any of your _stupid_ racist shit to me, don’t freaking call me _Midnight_ or whatever – ”

“Oh, my god, okay, okay,“ Billy said; Lucas laughed at him. Billy didn’t really think that was somethin’ to be laughing over but the kid looked kind of jazzed up all of a sudden and that made Billy feel all right.

“Yeah? You’ll really do it?”

“Whatever, yeah, I’ll come get you,” Billy said; he tried not to feel sulky over it. A whole month with dorky Lucas Sinclair. “Won’t say no racist shit to you. Look, we done here?”

Lucas wrinkled his nose up. “I think so, this is … getting way too mushy for me.”

Billy snorted. “Okay.”

“Right, get off my porch,” Lucas instructed him; Billy laughed and started down the stairs. “Hey, so are you going to go talk to Steve? I think he’s home now.”

“Yeah, I’ma go there now.”

“Okay,” Lucas said. “Uh, well – good luck or whatever.”

“Thanks.” He’d need it. He reached the driveway and started heading down to his car on the street.

“Oh, by the way, you can get me at six fifty-five on Monday, I like to be at school early so I can go to the AV room,” Lucas called to him like a little dork.

Fucking god. “Whatever.”

“And – I hope you like Run-DMC!”

“Jesus _CHRIST,_ ” Billy moaned and opened up his car door.

Sinclair laughed his head off. He leaned out across his big wooden porch railing. “Have fun at your stupid boyfriend’s!” he said.

Billy rolled his eyes and didn’t answer him. He got into the Camaro and watched Lucas laugh to himself some more and go back inside of his house; he actually looked almost happy and Billy felt almost okay.

Once he got himself situated and started driving he felt less okay. One down, one to go. He didn’t quite feel scared or nothing; it wasn’t simple like that. He owed Steve something just as much as he had Lucas, in a completely different way, in the same way. Harrington might not let him off the hook like Sinclair had, not that he really deserved to be off the hook.

He was getting the resigned feeling again; he usually felt it. Harrington might not take him back or whatever – probably he wouldn’t. Billy’d said a lot of shit but now he had more shit to say. He owed it to him.

He drove slowly down Maple Street. He thought it was one of the first times that he'd ever actually obeyed the traffic laws. Braked at each stop sign; used his blinker. He was kinda dreading it; he was driving as slow as possible. He ran through the list of things he needed to say. He didn’t know how he was supposed to say them or if he’d even get a chance. Harrington might be home now but he might not even let Billy in; it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to scale the fuckin’ roof in the middle of the day.

But he knew Steve and he knew Steve was better than him. This was Billy’s sweet pretty rich boy, always saying his romantic shit. Saying shit like _You never let me be nice to you, you might like it_ and _Figured it was the only way you’d ever let me brag about you a little._ Jesus. This was the guy who’d just popped him in the face and then said _I’m sorry_ after, after all that crap Billy’d said to him. This was the guy who’d said _I don’t care, I can get a place and_ –

Christ. Billy was so fucking stupid; he’d thrown all that shit away.

Harrington was a little stupid too, though. He was a little stupid for Billy; Billy was banking on that. He had to think that there might be a little part of Harrington that was waiting for him and might hear him out.

He was hoping anyway.

On down Main Street he went. The sky was grey and threatenin’ to open up; the lights outside the arcade looked shimmery and too-bright.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or how he was supposed to say it. _I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry, I fucked up, I love you._ Jesus God could he really say it. Maybe Harrington didn’t need to know that Billy loved him or whatever at 11:45 on a Saturday morning; it might be too much for him. _I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll tell whoever you want._ Max finally knew now and Sinclair knew too and the world hadn’t ended; he could tell people if Steve wanted him to tell people. Or not tell people. Didn’t know what he’d want anymore.

There were cars parked and double-parked all the way down Fairview Ave; it was that big block-party Harrington’d told him about. Billy was pretty sure that Steve didn’t want him to go with him anymore.

He parked at the corner of Fairview and Crestmont in the first spot he saw, two houses down. He almost never parked in Harrington’s driveway anyway but he definitely wasn’t going to do it today. He put the Camaro in park and sat looking at his steering wheel. He told himself he was just gonna go right up. Shit but he felt real scared.

He looked up over the dashboard; with all the fancy yards bein’ so big he was kinda far away but he could still see Harrington’s place. He just wanted to see if his car was there or maybe if any lights were on.

Steve’s car was there, parked out in the side of the driveway like he usually was. Steve was home and he was sitting outside. He was sitting out on the steps and talking to Nancy Wheeler.

Billy just sat and looked at them for a couple minutes. He was glad he hadn’t gotten out of the car right away; he didn’t know how to do this with her here. He didn’t know how to do this at all really. So he just sat and watched them.

They were just talking so Billy told himself not to freak out. He didn’t really think he had any right to freak out anyway. They were just sitting and talking; it was so interesting. Billy felt around in his shirt pocket for his pack of smokes without lookin’ away and lit one up.

Harrington didn’t look like he was too broken up about anything; he was sitting stretched out on the bottom three steps with his legs crossed at the ankles and lookin’ up at Nancy and talking to her. Nancy was sitting all prim on the fourth step up. Billy wondered if she’d been waiting for Steve to come home just like he had. She was wearing a fancy little summer dress and her stupid fuckin’ pink sweater over it even though it was pretty warm out; she was probably one of those girls that didn’t like to show a lot of skin. Her hair was curled real pretty.

Harrington said something to her that made her laugh a lot; she put her arm on his arm and he grinned up at her. Billy smoked his cigarette and watched them. It was so interesting. She said something that made him laugh too.

He smoked his cigarette and watched them talk for two, three, four minutes. He wondered if she was gonna fucking go or if maybe Harrington’d invited her to the block party. That’d be something. He didn’t really know why he wasn’t getting out of the car. He just sat and watched them.

Nancy was doin’ her cute-girl act like a pro; she was tilting her head and smiling at him. Steve was a fucking dumbass if he didn’t know she still wanted him. Wanted him. Billy watched them talking and laughing. She still had her hand on his arm. She touched his shirt and said something that made him laugh again, then they were just looking at each other. She leaned in and kissed him.

It was maybe two seconds. Steve pulled back and looked at her. Even all the way out in the car Billy could see the surprise on his face; his eyebrows went way up. He said something that made Nancy lean back and laugh, then she put her hand on his shoulder and kissed him again. Steve put his hand on the side of her face; he liked doing that shit.

It was so interesting. Billy rubbed his face and watched them kiss. He didn’t know why he wasn’t getting out of the car. It kinda felt like there was a hole in him so how was he supposed to get out of the car. He wanted to see what they’d do.

Steve pulled back again and moved his hand from her face to her shoulder; he still looked real surprised. He said something to her and she said something back. It was so interesting. Steve stood up and put his hands in his pockets; he was still talking. If he looked over he could probably see Billy’s car but he didn’t look over. He reached out and gave Nancy a hand up; she was still smiling at him. Steve put his hand on her shoulder and they walked up the stairs.

Billy just sat there staring like a fucking dumbass. He guessed he’d waited too long. They went on into the house and then a minute later a light when on in the living room. The blinds went down.

Billy knew what it meant when the blinds went down. He just sat in his car like a dumbass smoking his cigarette. He didn’t really know what he was supposed to do. God she’d been touching him.

Well he’d been touching her too. Fuck but Billy’d always know that – okay he didn’t really want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about it but he’d always known. He couldn’t really have Harrington. It was just – Steve had said so much _shit_ to him and Billy’d really believed some of it. Not all of it because he’d always known but some of it. He’d just thought that maybe.

He was really fucking stupid. He’d really thought that maybe Steve would wait for him. Or maybe he had waited but Billy’d taken too long. Maybe if he’d gone there first instead of to Sinclair’s or something, but how was he supposed to do that.

He couldn’t get his thoughts straight; he had to calm down. He put the car in gear and then just sat there smoking some more. They might just be talkin’ – that was real funny. They might just be talkin’ but she’d already kissed him and he’d kissed her back and fucking touched her. Put his hand on her fucking face; Harrington loved doing that shit. Billy guessed he knew it made you feel real special. It made you feel real stupid and he’d got Billy real stupid for a long time. It was too stupid.

It actually hurt way down inside of him; it hurt worse than getting punched. It hurt in his guts like how he’d felt when the kid had thrown him into the counter last week and Billy’s whole body squeezed around himself like something was attacking him. It was too stupid; there wasn’t really anything there hurting him. It was pretty bad.

He guessed he deserved it. He knew Harrington wasn’t gonna take him back so he didn’t know why he was being like this. If Wheeler wanted him back it’d be so easy for him; this was what he’d wanted. He couldn’t really want Billy if he’d touched her like that and taken her inside and Billy’d always known that. He’d just thought.  He didn't know what he'd thought.

Anyway it didn’t really matter what he’d thought or what he hadn't. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do; was he supposed to crash his car through the living room like a gay freak or something. He’d told Harrington that he wasn’t with him anyway and he wasn’t gonna screw it up for him if that was what he wanted. If that was Harrington wanted then he could go fuck himself. Or fuck Nancy, really. It was too stupid.

He put his cigarette out and pulled his car forward; his tires squealed on the street and he almost ran over a neighbor. The neighbor flipped him off and he could hear Harrington’s dogs goin’ nuts out in the yard for a second before he turned the corner. For a second he seriously wanted to cry and he felt like a huge moron; he didn’t even know if Nancy liked Harrington’s dogs. He’d never really thought to ask.

He thought he’d just drive around until he felt okay; he drove for a long time and he still didn’t feel okay. He actually had to stop and park on Dearborn for a second because he felt too fucked up; it felt like the car was gonna swallow him up. Then he started driving again because fuck if he was gonna have a panic attack over Steve Harrington. God but it hurt real bad. He didn’t really deserve Steve anyway. He’d always known that too.

That made him start shakin’ again so he just drove some more. He was okay anyway. He was okay he was okay he was okay. He didn’t know when he’d let shit start mattering to him so much; he didn’t know why he’d thought it was okay to do that.

He drove around for a long time. He thought he’d start feeling mad like usual but he still just felt bad, stupid too. He didn’t really know where to go. Couldn’t go home because no one was there except Susan and maybe she’d ask him What’s wrong and that’d be too terrible. Couldn’t go see Max at work because she’d ask him how it had went and that’d be too terrible. Harrington was getting his rocks off with Nancy Wheeler and that was about it for places he could go.

He drove down Dearborn and drove past his house; he drove out past Broad Street and past the place he was gonna get. That was okay too. Maybe he’d just say fuck it and get that gay leather couch that Maxine wanted.

By the time he went down Main Street again the sky had opened up; big fat raindrops started crackin’ down onto his windshield. He didn’t really know what he was supposed to do; it was just past one and he couldn’t really drive around all day. He drove past the general store in a kind of daze; he drove right past Elijane on the corner and almost crashed into a fucking streetlight when he passed her. She stared at him so Billy went around the block for her.

He slowed the car down once he’d got to her again; El didn’t even look at him. She was wearing her puffy pink dress and Billy didn’t know how he hadn’t spotted her right away.

He rolled his window down. “Hey, what you doing?”

El glanced at him and didn’t answer. She must be in some kinda mood.

“You goin’ to see my sister?” El didn’t answer him once more so he tried again. “You need a ride?”

She didn’t look at him. “No.”

“What you doin’ out here?” It was raining pretty hard and she was already soaked through; she wasn’t going in the direction of the Wheeler’s and she’d already passed the arcade and the other Creepy Kid hotspots.

“Leave me alone.”

Truly she hurt him. “Get in the car, I’ll give you a ride.”

“Go away.”

Billy rubbed his face; he almost didn’t want to deal with her really. Even so he could see his life flashin’ before his eyes at what the chief would do to him if he knew Billy’d seen the kid out and hadn’t stopped and taken her home. “Are you meetin’ your dad somewhere?”

She kept plodding on. “No. Go away.”

“Sorry, I’m bored,” Billy told her. “Get in, I’ll give you a ride.”

“GO AWAY!”

He took his foot off the gas pedal and cruised along next to her real slow; El sent him a quick little glare.

“Crash my car,” Billy told her real smart; she ignored him. “What, you use up all your power throwin’ me around before?”

Elijane turned and scowled at him; Christ she looked like something else with her sharp little nose and her sharp little mouth all turned down. “Leave me alone!” she said. She was so busy scowlin’ at him and yellin’ at him that she tripped over the curb and stomped through a huge rain puddle. Jeez.

“Look at ya, you’re a fuckin’ mess,” Billy told her.

“Go away!” El told him again. “I don’t want to see you!”

Billy didn’t say anything. He leaned one arm out the window and kept lookin’ at her as she crossed the street. Someone beeped and drove past them; Elijane scowled at them too. “You annoy me!” she told him. “You are _annoying_ just like Max said.”

“Aw, do you guys talk about me?” Billy asked. He put his hand on his heart. “What she say ‘bout me?”

El ignored him.

“How long you gonna go, Jane?” Billy asked her. “I got a half-tank of gas, I got zero plans. I can do this shit all day, I am not kidding.”

Elijane burst into tears and kept walking. Billy drove along next to her. He watched her for a while; his car went up the curb. “Kid, you’re makin’ me look like a fuckin’ rapist,” he said. “Just get in the car, I’ll take ya home.”

El cried some more. She got in the car. “You annoy me,” she said all weepy.

“I have a talent,” Billy told her. “Why you cryin’?” She didn’t answer him. “I’m gonna take you home.”

“NO,” El said; she stopped crying in two seconds. “I’m not going home.”

Billy’d figured. “So where are you going?” he asked her; he was trying real hard to be patient. He wasn’t going to snap at her like Harrington or the chief did, fucking assholes.

El scowled at his dashboard; she was a piece of work. “Bet the chief’s waiting for you.”

“He’s at work.”

“Okay. We can go and wait for him.”

“No. I’m leaving.”

“Where you gonna go?” She didn’t answer him again. “Look, are you tryin’ to see your moms again or whatever?” he asked her. “Take ya if you want.”

“No. I’m just leaving.”

Jesus God. “Okay, did you get in a fight with Wheeler?”

“No!” Elijane lied all unconvincingly; it was like she didn’t know Billy had a little sister. “Leave me alone. You don’t even want to be talking to me.”

“What you know about it?”

Elijane turned and gave him a big look; in two seconds he could feel her wormin’ around in his head like a fucking earmite.

He slammed her out. It made him feel real dizzy. “Don’t do that _fucking shit_ to me,” he said; so much for not snapping at her.

She didn’t say anything; when he finally turned to look at her her little face was pursed in a big frown. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, you always fuckin’ say that shit, why can’t you help it? Can’t you be normal for a minute?”

“I don’t know how,” El said; Billy felt like screaming. “Did you and Steve – “

“I ain’t talking about that with you.” Shit he wondered what she’d seen, how much or it she’d saw. Him and Sinclair. She wouldn’t have even gotten in the car with him.

“Sorry.”

“Whatever,” Billy said. “So where you wanna go?”

“I’m leaving.”

Jesus God it was like talking in circles. “Kid, you gotta give me somethin’ here,” Billy begged her. “What the fuck you talkin’ about, did you get into a fight with your dad or something?”

“He’s NOT my dad!”

“Okay,” Billy said.

“I want to get out now,” El said; there were almost past the convenience store near Henderson’s place. “I can’t do any – tricks for you, I want to get out!”

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t do anything, I don’t have any power anymore. I can’t do anything, I want to get out.”

“Hmm, that’s a shame,” Billy said; El glared at him like she hated him. Billy was used to people lookin’ at him like that. “Okay, I’m taking you home.”

“NO!” El said. “I’m NOT GOING HOME! It’s not safe there!”

She was kind of creeping him the fuck out; okay she always did. Billy felt around in his shirt pocket again and pulled out another cigarette. “The fuck’s that mean.”

“I don’t – I don’t know, I can’t remember,” El said.

“He doin’ something to you?” Billy asked; El stared at him blankly. “Never mind. Look, I’ll just take ya back home, I can wait with you if you want – ”

“No. I’ll just leave again.”

Billy rubbed his face. “Okay, so where you wanna go?”

El stared at him. “Really?”

Billy was seeing his life flash before his eyes again; he didn’t really care about it though. “Take ya to see your mom if you want.”

“No. I don’t want to go there. I’m leaving. I’m a problem. I heard Jim say.”

“Yeah, welcome to the club.”

El didn’t say anything for a while. Then she said, “Something bad is happening, and no one believes me.”

“Okay, so tell me.”

“I don’t remember!”

“So why do you think something’s happening.” God she made him tired.

“My papa is looking for me – “

“Thought you killed that guy,” Billy said.

“I sent him away.”

“What, to the corn field?” El stared at him blankly; Billy guessed she didn’t watch _The Twilight Zone._ “Look, you wanna go, I’ll go with ya. I ain’t got shit else to do anyway.”

“Really?” El stared at him.

“Sure,” Billy lied. It was his biggest fantasy anyway; maybe she couldn’t put anyone in a trash can anymore but he still could. He could take her to a motel or something, call the chief from a payphone and tell him where they were –

“I’ll just leave if you do that.”

“I _said_ stop going in my fucking head!” El didn’t answer him. “You wanna go, I’ll go.”

“You’re lying.”

“You don’t got a lot of options right now,” Billy told her; El made the face that said she hated him again. “Take ya to the city or something, you can tell me the shit.” He did mean that anyway; he was already in deep and it didn’t matter anyway. Was the worst shit to be alone on a Saturday night when the guy you wanted was fucking his ex-girlfriend. He told her, “We can get Chinese food.”

El stared at him. And stared at him. “Okay,” she said finally. “What does fu – “

“Stop doing that.”

“Okay,” El lied.

“Yeah? You wanna go to Indianapolis?” Billy asked her. “Me’n Max got you a present from there.” Max’d murder him for giving her the shit without him but he guessed that didn’t really matter too much either.

“What present?”

“Oh, can’t you tell?” Billy asked sarcastically. “It’s in my room at home, my old man’d murder he if he found me hiding some girly shit. You still gonna kill him for me?”

Elijane didn’t answer him for a while. She said, “I can’t do that anymore. I can’t move anything anymore.”

“So no squeezin’ brains out?” Fuck he needed to stop being a prick to her. “Can you fix my radio?” It’d been getting real static-y again.

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Billy said. “So we goin’?”

“If you want.”

“Okay,” Billy said. He thought he could have her home before it got dark out.

They drove on down the state road and past the shitty sign that said _Now Leaving Hawkins, Indiana!_ with a fuckin’ smiley face. The Steve Miller Band came on the radio singing ‘The Joker;’ that was a song that Harrington had sang to him before. Steve had sang him a lot of songs and he’d said a lot of shit too; it didn’t mean anything.

Elijane switched the channel on the radio for him. She wasn’t really saying anything; she wasn’t crying anymore and she didn’t look too pissed off so Billy felt okay. Well not okay but he was all right. She got Heart on 102.5 all faint singing ‘Magic Man.’

“This song’s about you and me,” Billy told her; Elijane listened to the lyrics and made a huge face.

“I don’t think so,” she told him; he was gettin’ a huge kick out of her.

“What, you don’t think I’m handsome?”

“You’re not my type,” she told him all serious; Billy laughed. “Can we go to the pier?” she asked him.

“I guess we got time.”

Elijane fiddled with the radio some more. She didn’t like Metallica or The Violent Femmes. She told him that the chief played a record a lot by this guy named Jim Croce; she said she liked him okay. Billy asked her why she was breaking his heart.

They drove on down the state road; she was making him feel okay. She was making him laugh so much that he didn’t even notice when a big black van pulled onto the road behind them, then another and another. By the time they noticed it was too late to really do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two is [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825072/chapters/34308263#main) :)


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